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#i find myself in tags i havent visited in over two years on the archive like some beaten dog slinking back home to a shitty master
kenobihater
·
3 months
Text
the last remaining threads of my sanity are slipping through my fingers rn 🚬 😑
#i'm out of cigarettes i'm incredibly ill and i'm reconsidering my relationship to a certain fandom.
#look i'm NOT saying i'm gonna stop the divorce proceedings but uh. fuck. i may have been re reading some of my older works and unfinished
#fics and i MAY. i repeat MAY. have some tiny shred of interest posting about st*r w*rs again
#motherfucker i'm SO hesitant to speak that into existence and will be absolutley APOPLECTIC if it happens bc i don't fucking WANNA like sw!
#i divorced it! i took the kids (my ocs) & filed a restraining order & crossed state lines & broke all contact and yet! and fucking yet!!!!
#i find myself in tags i havent visited in over two years on the archive like some beaten dog slinking back home to a shitty master
#i honestly hate like. fucking ALL of the shit i've written from then that i reread and some of it was so bad i couldnt even bring myself to
#click on it after reading the summary. like. UGH! i have a half baked fic idea i wrote a little for and i think it's more compelling than
#any of the literal dogshit i posted back then so i MIGHT work on polishing that up and posting something that isn't actual garbage by my
#current standards. all of this is still up in the air tho bc i dont know if the hyperfixation or even the bare minimum lvl of interest has
#returned or if it's just fever induced delirium. i've been having INCREDIBLY fucked up bad horrible awful vivid dreams as of late so fever
#induced brain fuckery isn't out of the question. sigh. i'm so mad abt this
#even if i do regain some interest in the fandom i don't think i'll have any interest in new source material after the mando s2 finale &
#tbo.bf sucking ass & the obi show being mid & everything with the ST. i plan on watching ando.r but after that? zero interest in anything
#new from sw. so. if anyone still reading this and is getting excited abt me POSSIBLY MAYBE being interested in sw just know i still hate it
#a bit and feel like i'm being dragged kicking and screaming back into this mess unwillingly. or it's due to a fever. god i need a smoke
#len speaks
#that's literally the longest tag rant i've ever gone on. fuck that's a BAD sign
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