#i firmly believe that bucky thinks steve would have died before betraying his country and that he will never live up to his ideal of steve

[gyokujyn]

CATWS 10th Anniversary | April 2nd » Prompts: Bucky Barnes for @catws-anniversary

a loving homage to A Softer World and @asofteravenger

[captainjimothycarter]

You asked for a prompt... random thought for you. What would happen if the whole time travel thing was causing Steve's serum to fade out in a sense? Like endgame with skinny Steve and he gets all adorable and worried about things?

this is prob not wnat you want, but enjoy almost 3k of rambling. 

--

This had happened before.

When he stood inside Peggy’s office, looking at an older Peggy with gray in her hair, he felt like his breath had been taken from his lungs. He felt like the walls were closing in on him, his chest felt considered smaller than what it had become. 

At the time, Steve had other things to worry about than what he passed off as just an overwhelming sense of emotions, he had the fate of the world resting on his shoulders. Yet now that it was over and he stood with a bloodied shield in hand, he could feel his legs giving out on him, and his world was growing considerably smaller.

He never felt his body hit the ground.

“...don’t know, notes were gone.”

“What do you mean we don’t know? It’s been...fuck...years.”

“Exactly that, we don’t know much about the serum. We only know what the monitors tell us and that’s nothing good.”

“You do know I’m awake, right?” Steve grunted as he forced himself to sit up from the hospital bed. 

Something wasn’t right. Hell - a lot of things weren’t right. For one, he couldn’t see color. No white or chrome or Shuri’s golden bracelets, Bucky’s silver and golden arm, or even Sam’s red goggles.

His left ear, it was tingling. He could barely hear Bucky’s low grunting whisper to Shuri’s ear. He could barely see her shrugging. Even as he sat there, staring at the trio, he could feel his vision worsening.

Without even taking a lungful of air, he knew how hard it would be to breathe. He’s had nightmares on this - even recently - about his ailments, about waking up small and powerless. His chest was aching with the desperate need of a full breath he was terrified to take, not wanting to have his fears to be concerned. Even without it, there was that low, dull ache in the base of his spine that followed into his stomach, like someone twisting a knife.

He’d lost the serum. 

It had lasted him until the battle and -

Steve’s eyes fell to the bandages around his wrists, slowly peeling them back. He slapped away Bucky’s hand that reached out of habit to stop him from picking, a decades-old habit neither had grown out of. Underneath the bandage confirmed his fears to be true (as if everything else hadn’t), a jagged scar from where Thanos’ blade had cut into him. Healed by Shuri’s technology but still a scar, proving the serum couldn’t save him.

Question was, even as three sets of eyes stared at him, waiting for some sort of reaction, what now?

He still knew the answer, that hadn’t changed.

She’d love him anyway.

--

“Steven?” 

The name was whispered as if anything louder would cause the veil to break, to break what only could be a dream between them.

Her hand reached out before sense seemed to catch up to her and it was jerked away. She stood in the doorway of a yellow house with a wrap-around porch, her newspaper still sitting at his feet. He could smell her, smell that familiar perfume she wore during the war. It still made his eyes water with how strong it was. 

She took up the whole doorway, hand curled around the frame and jaw tense. He’d seen that look before, her jaw twitching ever so slightly. Even without being able to see it, he knew her hand around the frame was clenching it tightly. 

“Well?” Peggy snapped, drawing Steve out of his thoughts.

He was still staring at her, mouth opened, just in unbelievable belief that he was standing in front of her. That he was here, with her, that he was home. 

“I-” He swallowed, throat bobbing. “I’m sorry what?”

Her lips twitched, almost threatening to smile. “I asked who in the hell are you because you’re obviously not Steven Grant Rogers. Captain Rogers died a year ago. Either work has finally gotten to me or you’re an imposter. A failed imposter at that.”

It was Steve’s turn to smile and he could’ve sworn her eyes softened 

“I can swear to you that I am, P-Peggy.” His breath hitched, trying to keep all these overwhelming emotions tamed. Last he needed was to have a panic attack on her doorstep. “I know it doesn’t look like it but I-I can’t...you won’t believe me.”

Reaching into his pocket, Steve pulled out the compass that never left his pocket. It had a few more dents than she last saw, a little more rusted. The hinges squeaked as Steve slowly opened it and passed it to her. Peggy’s fingers delicately brushed over his own as she took it, her face paling of all color as she looked up at Steve.

“But...how? We looked for you. And you’re...the serum…”

Peggy Carter was the last person ever to pity him. It wasn’t pity in her eyes, it was concern because she knew what the serum meant to him, but she also knew the health advocates that came with losing the serum.

She was worried for him and Christ if that just didn’t make him love her more.

“I can explain. There’s a lot you won’t understand but I...I can’t explain. Can I…?” 

A shiver ran up his spine as he tilted his head into the room, a chill washing over him as the fall wind blew. 

“Of course… Let me call Chester and tell him I won’t be at work. I won’t say anything about you,” she quickly explained at Steve’s panic look. Despite it, he knew she didn’t agree with that line of thought - not yet.

--

“Let me get this straight,” Peggy sighed, lowering the warmed mug of brandy. Steve remembered just how she liked her winter drinks. “You were in the future. Then…”

She waved her hand and sighed heavily. They’ve been at this for hours. For the most part, Steve had done all the talking but she’s commented a few questions that couldn’t wait, down to a few comments. At first, they started at opposite ends of the couch and now were sitting thigh-to-thigh. 

Steve’s head tilted, his downy soft, blonde locks falling in his face. Her eyes tracked his hand as they brushed it back. “Go on. Yes, I was in the future.”

She shot him a look that he flushed out - Lord, she’s missed that flushing. “And now you’re small because...time travel?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that and unless we want to call Howard, tell him I’m alive through time travel, that time travel exists, then...I don’t think we can get into a full explanation. To be honest, I understand it but I don’t understand it. Something about the...the effects of time travel through this-”-Steve held up the watch-like device she’d seen earlier-“and the serum, reverting my cells to before the serum.”

“No, no, and no. We are absolutely not calling Howard to tell him time travel exists. We will eventually call him to tell him you’re alive. In the morning. He’s out of the country, I’m afraid, until tomorrow.” And to be honest, she’s selfish. The second she lets the important people know that Steve is alive like Howard, Phillips, and the Commandos, then all hell will break loose. She’s selfish and just wants this one night with him. “Second, that doesn’t explain how you’re...better.” 

His plush, pink lips pursed together, in the same manner, they always did in thought. His eyes fell from her face, down to the steaming drink, and even further down to his hands. “I’m not, not exactly. I…” He tilted his head back and sighed. “It’s complicated, I think? Or maybe I think it’s complicated. You remember that girl I told you about? Shuri.”

“Yes? What about? You said you...”

“I woke up and was just smaller after-after the battle. After a long discussion on the possibilities, we worked on solutions for everything else. The asthma, the hearing, my sight, colorblindness, the...well everything. I’m small and for the most part 90% better thanks to her technology.”

His face pinched in a manner that told her yes he was grateful but this was a bitter pill for him to swallow. To accept he was smaller.

“She fixed everything the serum did but just not...the serum.”

“Shuri offered to replicate it, she was 90% sure she could and I had faith in her but…”

“But something told you not to.” Peggy’s eyes softened and she took his hand in her own. “That must’ve been hard for you to decide to do.”

“It was but I…” His mouth opened and closed and not for the first time, Peggy could truly see just how exhausted he was. It was deeper than just what a good night’s rest could fix, it was deeper than a soldier returning home. Steve had loved and lost. He’d been broken and repaired, his hope snatched from him, just to crack his facade even more. Her heart broke for him. “I wasn’t sure how it would be with...what little is in me and...well...everything.”

There was no true answer to why he denied Shuri’s help. Pride maybe, but it felt like more. Maybe betrayed Erksine. Maybe he just wanted to rest. Maybe he was just selfish.

Maybe he was terrified if it worked, it could be taken from him again.

“Question is,” Peggy mused after a long moment of silence that was only broken up by the sound of her fire crackling. “What are you going to do now?”

Steve smirked, suddenly aware of how close they were. He could see the shine of red on her lips, smell the brandy on her breath. It felt like home as their lips pressed together.

“Help you change the world.”

--

“Explain...explain this to me one more time.”

Howard was laid back on the chair, legs thrown up on the ottoman. He had at least pulled on a robe for them, even if it laid open and his chest hair was exposed. His hair was a devilish mess, having constantly run his hand through it. He still wasn’t looking at Peggy, his eyes firmly on the small guy in front of him that said he was Steve.

He wasn’t drunk. No, it was still 1 pm, even if he just woke up. These were sober hours. Peggy wouldn’t let him drink.

“How are you small?”

Steve couldn’t help but share the look with Peggy, then with Jarvis (who just looked so relieved he was here). Jarvis knew the full truth (thus, so did Ana because they never kept secrets from one another).

“I told you,” Steve sighed, hating lying to Howard but Howard didn’t need to know. Time travel and Howard was a dangerous mix. “I was found in the ice and-”

“Bullshit!”

He’d never seen Howard move so quickly. The man looked almost angry and Steve’s breath picked up as he took a stumbling step back. He was caught by Peggy before he fell.

“What sort of idiot do you take me, Rogers?” Howard bellowed, eyes moving from both parties. “The both of you! I looked! We both looked! We looked and looked and looked and-” 

“Sir.” Jarvis was by his side, leading a distressed Howard back to his chair. “May I suggest that you calm down?”

“No,” Howard grumbled, closing his eyes, rubbing at his temples. “I looked. How are you suddenly here? A-a year later. How? How?! We looked, I-”

“Time travel,” Peggy suddenly spat, hating how distressed her friend look. She sighed and took Steve’s hand. “Time travel, and no, Howard, we won’t go into details. I certainly don’t understand it and you do not need to know the details of time travel. Or-or any of it. Not yet, Steven need to rest, we can discuss perhaps later if-”

“Steven is fine,” Steve grumbled, taking his hand from Peggy’s to stand up. He looked back at Howard’s shocked face. “Okay, the cat’s out of the bag. I used time travel to come back to Peggy. I’m sorry Howard, we just worried how you’d accept it - that time travel exists.”

For once, Howard Stark was too shocked to say a damn thing in his life.

--

“So, Howard knows,” Peggy sighed, rubbing at her temples, “about time travel. Not something I had hoped we’d discuss but here we are. We agree he’s to know very minimum amounts about the future.”

Steve’s head bobbed along from where he rested against her lap on their shared couch. It’s quickly become their favorite spot. “It wasn’t worth lying to him, to see his distress. It killed me. It reminded me so much about T-”

Peggy’s eyes fell to his and her hand scratched at his scalp. “Tony,” she finished. He nodded and she picked his head up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I’m sorry we lied to him too, but now he knows the truth. I’m still not getting over him running over that table to hug you once he’s over the shock.”

“Never known him to be flexible.”

“Wave the right amount of alcohol in his face and you’ll learn new facts about Howard,” she snickered, making Steve roll his eyes.

“So I’m just the trophy husband?” he teased her, making Peggy laugh. “Howard provides the funds.”

“Howard provides the charisma. You are certainly the best trophy husband I could ask for.” She kissed him and he felt his body slack into hers. “I love you, Steven.”

“I love you too, Peggy.”

--

“When you said you had an urgent meeting with us, Pegs, this isn’t what I expected,” Dugan grumbled as he adjusted himself in the chair. “Back on stateside with Phillips coming in? What’s going on?”

Peggy, for her sake, sat on the edge of her desk that had come to the start of serving as the threshold of SHIELD. Phillips and Howard were behind her (Steven, of course too because they couldn’t get this far without his future references). She pulled on the suit she was wearing, a habit she couldn’t help. She did her best not to look where Steve waited in the side closet that often served as a nesting room when she was too tired to go home.

Before Steve had returned of course.

The Howling Commandos were patient as ever, meaning they weren’t one bit patient. Dugan was squirming like a kid in his chair, already knowing he was in trouble. Jones was bouncing his leg, Pinky was fiddling with her pen, Jim was folding a sheet of paper into an origami butterfly, and Montgomery and the others had walked off to find coffee. 

“And what did you think the call was about, Dugan?” Peggy challenged, raising an eyebrow.

Dugan, for his sakes, shrugged. “I don’t know. Nothing good, I supposed. Trouble follows you.”

“Only because you bait it,” Jones spoke up, making her laugh.

“We thought it was to tell us you’ve officially taken over the SSR as a one-woman show and needed our help,” Jim spoke up, blowing on the butterfly so it fluttered towards her.

Peggy caught it with ease and smiled. “That’s on the back burner - this is more important. I-”

The door slamming open cut them off. Phillips was a grump - he hated being woken up in the morning by a call that made no sense.

“Alright, Carter, tell me why I am here at 4 in the goddamn morning, with no coffee and why did you pull these guys from their project, if-”

“Steve is alive,” Peggy said firmly, cutting off Phillips’ I’m a grump rambling. 

That surely shocked them into silence. She saw Phillips and Dugan’s shared look - no doubt a conversation that has had about her beforehand and her dedication to finding Steve shortly after his death. 

“Peggy,” Phillips breathed, his eyes told her all. He wasn’t her boss, he was her friend, her gruff friend who was worried about her. “We-”

“Holy shit,” Montgomery breathed from the doorway, dropping the coffee he was holding. No one paid attention to it shattering on the floor. Their eyes were on Steve in the doorway.

A much skinnier Steve than they remembered.

“What the fu-”

“Language, Jones,” Steve said, out of instinct. He could see Peggy’s grin, a relieved look on her face. “There’s a lady present.”

“A lady that curses more than this sorry lot,” Peggy snorted, instantly taking Steve’s hand. She turned to look back at Phillips with a raised brow.

“I demand an explanation,” Phillips breathed, taking half a step in, glass crunching under his foot. “Kid, I knew you were too stubborn to die. Too stubborn to be told no. It’s so good you’re alive.”

“Small, but mighty,” Dugan chimed in with a tearful grin. “Christ, Stevie, come here.”

All Peggy and Phillips could do were look on as the 5’4 Captain was soon overtaken by the numerous hugs and shouts that echoed around her empty office at four in the morning.

--

“Are you ever going to tell me the truth?” Phillips huffed at her, making Peggy smile over the cup of coffee hours later.

The Howlies had finally left to catch a few hours of sleep, Steve had fallen asleep on her office couch. The poor guy was just tired. An exhaustion she feared he’d never rested. Sleep never seemed to be enough.

“I did,” Peggy mused, lowering the cup to her desk. She didn’t need to look up to see Phillip’s glowering look.

“He’s lucky to have survived at all,” Phillips sighed, looking over at Steve. “Frozen, the future, and returning back to you. The life we lead, it’s amazing.” He gave a small laugh as he raised his cup in cheers towards Steve. “You really got that second chance at being with him.”

[marvelousstevetony]

Destined (For Happy Endings)

I’ve been working on this fic for a while, but I never really got around to finishing it. But I did now, and I just want it out, lol. I might come back to it in the future and edit or rewrite parts of it, but for now... well, this is it.

This is set the night before the Avengers go back in time to reverse Thanos’ snap. Steve and Tony have a conversation that’s been a long time coming.

5,1k, Steve/Tony + angst with a happy ending

***

Of all places, Tony was in the communal kitchen. He had been in the workshop most of evening, but then he went down for drink, needing something to calm his trembling hands. They just wouldn’t stop shaking. It’d been a while since he’d felt this nervous, this scared. Well, a few years, at least.

It was way past midnight, the rest of the team probably lying in bed, overthinking everything that was going to happen only a few hours later, just like Tony was. They all tried to keep composed, act unbothered, but everyone knew they were just trying to cover up what was hiding beneath the surface; the fact that they were all scared, terrified, of what they were gonna face.

Sure, they knew where they were going. Tony, for one, had been mentally preparing for going back to 2012 the entire day. It’d been more than a decade since whole flying through a wormhole and saving New York thing, but he still saw it every once in a while, even after everything he’d seen since then; Cap’s shield being smashed into his chest, feeling Peter’s body dissolve in his grip, being stuck in space while believing he was going to die. The point was, Tony still had nightmares about all of those things, and knowing he was gonna be face to face with the thing that had started off his anxiety made him… well, anxious.

So he’d done everything he could to make sure he’d be fine when the time came. He was just working on the finishing touches on the newly designed suits, but it would’ve been so much easier if his hands would just keep still. So yeah, a drink it was.

The kitchen was dark, quiet. Only the weak light from refrigerator Tony hadn’t bothered to fully close and the sound of his breathing gave any indication of activity. He hadn’t even taken anything from the fridge, just vainly rummaged through it before opting for a glass of whiskey. He didn’t know how long he sat there, sipping at his drink and staring out into nothing but his own hallucinative visions, but apparently long enough for someone to crash his one-person party.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping? Tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.” Tony jumped and turned to see Steve leant against the door frame, arms crossed, a tired smile playing on his lips. That was such a dad-pose, Tony thought, such a Steve-pose.

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed to himself. “Thought I’d had enough of your lectures, Cap. You’re awake too, by the way, unless you’re sleepwalking. You’re not sleepwalking, are you?” Tony said drily and Steve looked to the floor with a humorless huff of a laugh.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to- I’m not judging,” Steve mumbled apologetically, then eyed the chair next to Tony. “Mind if I join you?”

“Be my guest,” Tony muttered and made a gesture for Steve to take a seat.

Steve scrubbed his face as he sat, rubbing harshly at his eyes before settling his glance on Tony. “I see you’re still a night owl,” he commented, referring to all the times he would stumble upon him, staying awake all night, working in the lab or simply drinking coffee in the kitchen by himself.

“Some things never change, Cap.”

As soon as the words had passed his lips, Tony felt something inside him churn, because isn’t that ironic. Everything had changed — that’s why they were here. Tony didn’t know if it was comforting knowing that he, maybe, still was somewhat like he’d been before everything; the accords, Siberia, the battle against Tha-… the battle, went down, or if it was exactly the opposite of that.

Maybe it was just Steve’s presence that sent a wave of nostalgia, a longing for the past, through him, and it annoyed him deeply that Steve still had that effect on him, because Tony had changed in the last five years. He had. He was out of the city, living in a small house, he had gotten married, and, hell, he’d had a daughter. And, okay, maybe his and Pepper’s relationship wasn’t like it used to, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. It was just more like they were clinging onto each other because they had nothing else to keep them sane in a world of insanities. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way when he went to bed like before, and he knew Pepper felt the same, but that didn’t mean they loved each other less, just… differently.

But Tony was happy, for the most part, living like this. Like he’d said: I have my second chance right here.

“You alright?” Steve asked, snapping Tony back to their conversation. He must’ve fallen quiet, deep in thought.

Tony opened his mouth, but shut it just as quickly. He was just about to let out his usual reply, always, as he’d insisted so many times previously, but, for maybe the first time in his life, he took a second to actually think about his answer. God, he really had changed. He sighed and looked into the blue eyes he once had known to be so familiar. They were still just as beautiful, just as piercing, just as kind as they’d always been. But, somehow, they seemed… different. Tony wondered how long they had been like this. When Tony looked into them he saw Steve, but not the one he knew. This one was sadder, emptier, than he remembered the soldier.

Steve had always been sad, to some degree, in a way Tony couldn’t quite understand. Sometimes Tony forgot that Steve was actually just a kid when he went into the ice. All Steve had wanted was to serve his country, to be of use and no longer be a sickly child. And Steve, being the self-sacrificing and too-admirable-for-his-own-good idiot he was, had crashed the plane into the Arctic with no intention of waking up in a whole new world where everyone he knew was gone. Then he got some of it back, Bucky, and though Tony felt betrayed that Steve chose Barnes over him, he tried to understand Steve’s reasoning despite not agreeing. Tony carried the freaking flip phone everywhere, because he couldn’t let go of it, no matter how stupid he thought it was. And then Tha-… and then they lost. And Steve lost his best friend all over again, lost Sam, lost the twinkle in his eyes and maybe that’s why they’re so empty and goddamn sad.

By watching and knowing Steve, Tony somehow learned that being alone and being lonely is not the same thing. Tony thought back to the fanciest galas and biggest PR-events, to the team movie nights and training sessions, and pictures of Steve’s face flickered before his eyes. The distant glance, the creased forehead and the smile. Steve would always smile, because even when everything was shit, Steve felt the need to reassure everyone around him that it’d be fine, that he’d fix it. And Tony might not be genius when it comes to people, but he could tell a fake smile from a real one from miles away. After spending years pretending and perfecting his façade, he was practically an expert on the matter.

He could tell by the way Steve’s jaw clenched too hard, the way his lips were pressed firmly together, the way the corners of his mouth forcibly twitched, and the way that his eyes just never beamed. He could be standing the largest crowd either of them could imagine, but no matter how many people Steve was surrounded by, Tony could feel the loneliness radiating from Steve miles away, exuding it like it was his own natural scent.

But Steve never complained, never whined or whimpered, never asked for anything, and Tony hated that Steve never needed them, never needed him. He never wanted backup during mission, Tony remembered faintly. He didn’t want anyone worrying over him, not even when he nearly died out on the field. He never let anyone take care of him. He was always just fine on his own, and Tony felt like he’d been stabbed in his chest whenever Steve would shrug off the pain and act like he was happy when he clearly wasn’t.

But Tony just had to come to terms with it: Steve simply didn’t trust him. Not in the way he had wanted him to, at least. And honestly, all Tony could think about, all he wanted to do when Steve wore that characteristic melancholic frown, the line right between his eyebrows, the heartbreakingly unhappy smile, was to suck out every inch of sadness from Steve’s body.

And now more than ever, the sadness was physically visible in Steve’s expression, and Tony had never been good at dealing with emotions, not his own, not other’s. But in a few hours, all of this wouldn’t matter, and Tony didn’t have it in him to just… act like he was okay. In all honesty, he didn’t really know what he was. So that’s what he said;

“I don’t know,” Tony straightforwardly thought aloud. “I actually really don’t have an answer for that question.”

“Tony Stark at a loss for words. Wow. So I’ve successfully managed to stump you, huh? Who would’ve thought,” Steve smiled, still sadly, because that’s just how Steve was.

Tony huffed a humorous laugh. “Yeah, well, don’t get too cocky now, Rogers. It’s been a long day, my wits don’t come as easily when I haven’t had my coffee.”

“Or slept?”

Tony rolled his eyes again. “You said you weren’t judging.”

“I’m not,” Steve replied solemnly.

It was quiet for a while, a heavy silence settled over them. Steve was nervously twiddling his thumbs, biting his lip, while Tony just stared into space. It seemed like no more words were to be exchanged but then Steve spoke up.

“Are you scared, Tony?”

“About tomorrow?”

Steve nodded weakly.

“I mean, yeah. I am. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t.”

He swallowed thickly. He’d never actually admitted it, not out loud at least. But the words just slipped out through his lips like confiding in Steve was the easiest thing he’d ever done. He didn’t remember that ever happening before. It was the alcohol, he was sure.

“Are you?” He heard himself ask.

Steve inhaled deeply, holding his breath for a few seconds. “I… I don’t really know, to be honest. I think I’d be stupid not to. But I can’t let my fears of what could happen keep me from doing what’s right. Not again.”

Tony didn’t know how to respond to that — wasn’t quite sure what Steve meant by it. He just kept quiet instead.

Steve’s knitted his brows together in thought, visibly trying to decide how to continue the conversation. It took him a while, but at last he drew in a long breath and opened his mouth.

“Ever since what happened… happened, I’ve been… I’ve been trying to figure out how to move on. Grow,” Steve started, eyes low and aimed at his quivering hands. “I tried to help with the clean-up until everyone just… gave up, I guess. Nat and I tried our best to keep the team together, or what’s left of us. Tried going back to normal. But nothing every really did go back to normal, did it?  I um- I started a support group. Sam used to lead one, I don’t know if you knew that, but he did. A-and I thought that even if I couldn’t move on, maybe I could help someone else. I don’t know if it worked, but I think Sam would appreciate me trying.”

“You know he would,” Tony said before Steve could continue his ramble.

The blonde looked up, revealing his suddenly watery eyes. Tony thought he saw something that reminded him of gratitude, but he wasn’t quite sure. Their eyes only locked for a split second before Steve’s glance snapped back to his hands.

“It’s just- I don’t know what my purpose is anymore.”

“I think we all lost some of our purpose when Tha-,” Tony stopped half way through the name. He sighed. Why couldn’t he just say the goddamn name? He gritted his teeth, squeezing his hands into fists. “When Thanos won.”

It felt weirdly relieving, Tony thought, after finally saying the Titan’s name for the first time since he’d returned to Earth all those years ago. Like had he been stuck under the moon that had been thrown at him and then suddenly released. An odd lightness after getting used to the heaviness. Maybe that’s why he suddenly gathered the courage to demand a better answer from Steve than I don’t really know.

“Y’know, you always were horrible at lying, Rogers,” Tony said instinctively, but then a sudden flash of reminiscence crossed him, of hard metal slamming into his chest, and he nearly went on to retract. Steve’s expression was unreadable, but Tony knew they shared the same thought.

Tony drew in a sharp breath and continued. “What I meant was that I want a better answer, an honest answer… Are you scared?”

Steve seemed to consider this for a long time, gnawing at his bottom lip, eyebrows knit together as if he was having an inner conflict with himself. Then he huffed and shook his head weakly.

“No, I’m not. I should be, but,” he shrugged and smiled humorlessly, “I don’t really have anything left to lose, right?”

“Right,” Tony said quietly. Something about the tone of Steve’s voice was despairing in a way Tony couldn’t bear, so he drew his eyes away from the man opposite him.

Steve appeared to notice Tony’s withdrawal and he quickly spoke up.

“Tony, I- I’m so sorry, I didn’t even think-“

“What are you apologizing for?”

Steve swallowed. “Sorry, that was just an insensitive thing to say… I know that you and Pepper have so much now, I know I dragged you into this, and I-I shouldn’t say stuff like that, shouldn’t be that inconsiderable.”

“No. No, I don’t— you’re good, Cap, really,” Tony said and he felt like he meant it. “I won’t lie and say this isn’t a big risk. I have a lot on the line, but if I have the chance to save something. Someone,” he corrected as  a the voice of an awkward teenage boy played in his mind.

Mr Stark? I don’t feel so good.

He swallowed thickly and felt the hairs on his arms raise.

I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go, sir please-

He had to shake himself, squeeze his eyes shut, to rid himself of the haunting voice.

“I have a lot win, too,” he explained, not wanting to go into any more detail. He couldn’t. At least not if he didn’t want to have a complete meltdown in front of Steve, who seemed to take the hint.

“Okay. Thanks… But I am sorry, Tony.”

Now, Tony nearly laughed despite the tension. Steve had always been unapologetically himself and with good reason. He was usually so stubborn and headstrong it made Tony want to throw up. But right now, Steve seemed insecure, uncertain, goddamn nervous, and, sure, Tony had gotten better at self-control, but he was still Tony Stark, and he couldn’t help but comment on it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you apologize that much. Something change within the last few years?”

Tony had meant for it to be a joke, but in hindsight he knew he sounded petty and unfair. He wanted to reverse what he said, but Steve beat him to it.

“I should’ve done it earlier. Apologize I mean,” Steve clarified.

Tony didn’t know how to respond, his mouth opening and closing a few time before settling on hanging slightly agape.

“I’m sorry, Tony. I am so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I don’t regret defending Bucky. He didn’t deserve to be locked up in a prison. But I do regret not telling you about your parents… I don’t think I’ve ever regretted anything as much as I do that. And I, um, I tried to let you know. To apologize. I sent you a letter, there was a phone as well, I don’t know if-“

“I got it,” Tony confirmed and something inside him twitched, a peculiar sensation that he couldn’t quite place anywhere else but in his chest. It was uncomfortable and fiery, and definitely not positive.

“Oh. Okay-“ Steve started, but was quickly cut off again.

“Why?” Tony asked, his voice filling with rage as pictures of the letter and the stupid flip-phone flickered through his mind. “Why didn’t you call?”

Steve frowned and yet, his features were still soft. Vulnerable. “I didn’t think you’d want me to.”

Now, Tony actually laughed. A spiteful chuckle rolled off his tongue and he could almost taste the venomous bitterness of his next words.

“I hated you-“

“I don’t blame you,” Steve concurred, his gaze dropping to the floor.

“I hated you. I hated the letter. I hated that goddamn flip-phone that, by the way, I carried with me every single fucking day, waiting for you to be the bigger person, because you alway were. You were always so good and righteous and so fucking perfect it made me sick.”

Steve bit his lip.

“I didn’t want to reach out in case you wouldn’t respond… I- I couldn’t bear the thought of you choosing to avoid me, even though you had every right to do so, so I just decided… not to. I thought I’d rather just not know in case I didn’t get the answer I wanted. And I’m sorry for that, too.”

“Back at it again with the apologies,” Tony rolled his eyes for what seemed like the twentieth time that night.

“You deserve more than a hollow apology, Tony.” Steve’s voice was way too earnest, way too sober, saying it like that. Like he would be satisfied if those were his last words. “I wish I could offer you more, wish I could show you how badly I wanted to press that call button, how much it has haunted me all these years…”

Steve trailed off and looked back up at Tony through long, thick lashes, blue crystals sparkling with pained hope. They were still so characteristically sad, Tony knew them, or at least he used to, because now there was something unfamiliar flickering in them. Maybe it was the moonlight that shone on them through the large glass panels, or the moisture that gathered at his bottom lash line that made Steve’s eyes look so vulnerable and sincere.

The remorse cascaded from Steve’s eyes. He didn’t have to say anything for Tony to picture how the nagging feeling inside Steve’s chest had been silently killing him for years. Tony could see it very clearly; how the regret would come to him in quiet moments, such as when he fruitlessly fought to fall asleep, or when he sat alone in the back of a diner, drinking cheap coffee that was bitter on his tongue, yet not bitter enough to extinguish the lingering taste of guilt.

Tony saw how the regret washed over him like slow waves on a shallow beach, how each wave was ice cold and sent shivers down his back. How he longed to turn back time and make a different choice, the right choice. How he envied the the pebbles, unbreakable and lifeless, unable to sense the stabbing agony Steve felt in his bosom.

Tony could see it all, he could feel it, and it made his breath catch in his throat. He knew.

“I know,” Tony breathed, voice barely more than whisper. “I know you’re sorry.”

Tony only realized Steve had been holding his breath when he exhaled slowly, his shoulders dropping, a small amount of the pinched expression bleeding out.

“And I’m sorry too, by the way” Tony said, voice surprisingly steady. “I, uh, I’ve got a lot of regrets as well… guess none of us are completely innocent, right?” He gave a one-shouldered shrug and tried for a wry smile.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Tony, I can’t ask that of you,” Steve shook his head, eyes still so serious it made Tony uncomfortable.

“I know,” Tony said. “But if tomorrow goes south I at least want to go with a clear conscience. So I’m offering an olive branch.”

Steve was quiet for a bit, and Tony was nervous he might decline, but then he smiled, sadly, but it was real.

“Thank you, Tony. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but… thank you.”

Tony swallowed thickly, then nodded. “You’re, uh, you’re welcome, Cap… it feels kinda good to do the right thing,” he said, a sigh of relief slipping past his lips.

Steve snorted a laugh, a sound Tony had missed more than he cared to admit, but the smile that began tugging at the corners of his mouth was telling enough.

A peace had settled upon the comfortable silence of the kitchen. The air no longer felt so dense and suffocating, and Tony allowed himself to actually breathe for a few seconds, risking at glance at Steve. The tightness in his chest he had felt every time he looked at Steve for the last seven years had eased. He no longer felt angry or betrayed, he didn’t have the urge to scream, to cry. He just felt… calmness.

It was almost paradoxical how he felt this relaxed just mere hours before what could be the most dangerous journey of his entire life. The calm before the storm, he thought to himself and found that he no longer feared the storm.

“I think I’ll go to bed. Catch some Z’s before tomorrow,” Tony explained as he raised from his seat. Placing a hand on Steve’s shoulder he gave it a squeeze and smiled, genuinely and warmly. “I’m glad we had this talk, Steve. If one of us— I’d hate for us to end like that.” It didn’t even feel foreign to say us anymore. It just glided past his lips like had they never parted ways.

“Goodnight, Steve,” he said and left for his quarters, but before he had even exited the kitchen, Steve called out.

“Tony, wait!”

Tony turned back around with a curious look on his face.

“I, um… I just want to say a few things before you go.”

Tony nodded curiously, urging Steve to continue.

“I, uh, didn’t really sleep. After Siberia, I mean. Not so much after the snap either, but mostly it was because of what happened at the Hydra Facility. I spent a lot of time thinking, about you… about us. I always told myself that if I got the chance I would tell you how grateful for you I am. For always being so hospitable to me, even before I moved into the Tower. For making sure I was okay and for caring about the team more than you cared about yourself.

And, uh, for all those things I said when we first met… I know the scepter was messing with us, but I want to apologize for that, too. You’re a good man, Tony, and I’m sorry I dragged you back into this mess of a life. You deserve to live your life with your family and not have to worry about another alien invasion. You deserve to be happy. If something happens tomorrow… Just know I’ll do everything in my power to keep you and your family safe, even if I won’t live to see it. Whatever it takes.”

Steve was out of breath, heart racing, the sound of its pounding ringing in his ears. His eyes were desperate but soft, and Tony was left speechless yet another time that night. And goddammit, Tony thought, how did he do that? Tony was always ready with a comeback, a witty reply. But tonight, standing in front of Steve Rogers, whose eyes were older than Tony remembered but still just as sad, just as beautiful, whose smile was small and shy and just for Tony to see, whose voice was warm and addictive and sounded like home, Tony’s mouth went dry, and he had to bite the inside of mouth to make sure Steve’s speech had left him numb.

Steve must’ve thought Tony wouldn’t react, because he just flashed a thin-lipped smile and looked down at the kitchen counter like he expected Tony to leave for good this time.

But Tony was still standing like a dear in headlights in the middle of the quiet kitchen. Had Steve just admitted that he’d die for Tony if it came down to it? Tony thought that was what he meant, and it made him uncomfortable, made him want to cry.

“Don’t say that.”

“I mean it.”

“You shouldn’t…” Tony bit his lip and shook his head. He couldn’t get himself to finish that sentence.

“Shouldn’t what?”

“You know what I mean, Steve. I don’t want you to… to sacrifice yourself for me.”

“But I’m willing to. I want to-”

“Steve,” Tony breathed sharply, like his throat was restricting.

“Please, don’t take this away from me. This is what I was meant to do.”

“You were meant for more than this, you know. You were meant to be more than a soldier. You are more than a soldier, and I hate that no one told you this,” Tony said, honestly, because it was the truth. “You were meant for— for picket fences and slow dancing in the living room, even though you’re a horrible dancer. For baking apple pies and watching your grandchildren play in your backyard. For living.”

“I was never destined for a happy ending, Tony.”

Sharp daggers speared their way into Tony’s chest. He couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t take any more sorrow, couldn’t take another look at Steve’s despairing face.

Steve’s life had had an awful lot of endings.

If anyone asked, which they probably wouldn’t as Tony and Steve were the only people there, Tony did it out of sympathy. He did it simply because he wanted the sadness gone, or at least to pause it for a second, even if it meant getting pushed off and punched in the face. But Steve did neither. Instead, he melted into the gentle touch of Tony’s lips on his.

Tony had kissed a lot of people in his life, but none of them kissed like Steve did. Steve was hesitant but generous, tender and compelling. Their lips were a perfect match, like fate had sculptured them for this exact purpose. When they drew back, Tony’s lips felt cold from the loss of contact, instantly feeling the urge to lean in again.  

“What was that for?” Steve asked in a fragile voice, but Tony could hear the smile on his lips.

“For happy endings,” Tony murmured against Steve mouth, replying simply, like it was an obvious answer.

“Tony—”

“I never actually hated you,” Tony clarified. “I thought I did, and I really tried to, but I… I couldn’t. I was hurt… Fuck, it hurt so bad. But then I realized it’s just like they say; the ones you love hurt you the most.”

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Tony stilled. He hadn’t meant to say that, he didn’t even know he felt that, but it came so naturally, as easily as falling off a log.

“Pepper…” Steve mumbled guiltily, an unspoken question hanging precariously on his tongue.

“She knows. Somehow, she always knows. More often than not, she knows even before I do.”

“But you love her,” Steve stated without a hint of doubt.

“I do,” Tony confirmed confidently. “I always will. I love Pepper the way I love Rhodey. The same way you love Barnes.” It took him a second to decide if he should say love or loved, but ultimately he ended on the former, because love doesn’t cease to exist even when the person you love is gone. Tony had experience on that matter.

“Because she doesn’t take your bullshit; is brutally honest with you even when the truth hurts; takes care of you no matter how stupid you’ve been? Because she’ll always be there for you, and because, despite everything else, she feels like coming home? Yeah, that’s… that’s Bucky,” Steve smiled to himself, every memory of him and Bucky, the good and the bad, flashing before his eyes.

“I love her — she’s the mother of my child and the one person I know that’ll never leave me. But we were never really meant to be. We’re family, but… we both know our love is purely platonic. We want each other to be happy, even if it means being happy with someone else. Mutual agreement.”

Steve went quiet, processing what he’d just heard, as Tony trailed his index finger over Steve’s parted lips. They were pink and soft, a bit swollen and wet from the kiss, but undeniable. Irresistible.

Tony leaned in again, silently asking for consent that Steve authorized. It was deeper and longer than the first, leaving them both breathless as they pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other’s.

“Why now?” Steve asked. “It’s too late for us.”

“If tomorrow really is the end of you and me, whatever that may be… I want you to have at least one happy ending in your life. If you want that, I mean.”

Steve laughed wetly and nodded. Their faces were so close, Tony could feel the air that passed Steve’s lips.

“If I want that,” Steve humored. “That might just be the understatement of the century… though, I think I’d prefer if it wasn’t an ending.”

Tony’s smile stretched from ear to ear, and so did Steve’s. It wasn’t that the sadness had left Steve. Tony didn’t think it ever fully would. But Steve’s smile was wide and accompanied by eyes sparkling with hope, and god was that not the most beautiful thing Tony had ever seen.

“It doesn’t have to be, Steve. Not as long we stand together tomorrow. Just like we promised we would a long time ago.”

“I broke that promise, Tony. You know I did.” Steve murmured.

Tony took both of Steve’s hands in his, intertwining their fingers. They fit together perfectly, and just like with their kiss, Tony got the feeling this was meant to be.

“And yet, somehow, we ended up here.” Tony stroked the back of Steve’s hand with his thumb. “We’re gonna get them back, Steve. All of them.”

“How can you sound so sure?”

“Because we’re together,” Tony said like had he never been more sure of anything in his entire life.

Steve sighed, but it was relieved and pleased, and against Tony’s mouth, he mumbled, “Maybe I was destined for a happy ending after all,” before closing the space between them once more.

[pseudonymfox]

Abort Mission (8)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and your boyfriend have powers, now he is dead and you are  expecting a baby. Hydra is interested in the child so they send the  Winter Soldier. What happens if Bucky unexpectedly falls for you…

This Part: Accidental confession are made and both you and Bucky get closer and closer until you finally give birth...

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, language, angst, fluff, birth

A/N: yeah I just wanted to get over the birth lol thats why it’s so short but anyway I hope I don’t offend anyone with this cause I have no Idea about how birth is and everything included to this but I tried my best. Tell me if I did something wrong or let me know about your experience?? :D

Series Masterlist - Main Masterlist

<< Previous Part

Today is the day. You got into early labor a few hours ago. In the beginning it wasn’t that bad, more uncomfortable but that changed rather quickly. Also you water didn’t break yet and the time in between the contraction wasn’t short enough, so you didn’t wanted to go to any doctor or hospital for now. You didn’t wanted to tell Bucky this soon but he also woke up the second you did with your first contractions and it took a long time convincing him not to drag you to a hospital. Anyone would probably send you away again anyways.

Since New Year’s and your sweet little moment you shared it was almost as always and yet different, like a relationship but unofficially or an unspoken one. Could be also possible that you got delusional through you lack of sleep and imagined it all. Who knows.

Besides all of that you got mostly every month a package or letters from Abi and George, filled with self made baby clothes or other things. Sadly they told you right at the beginning of the New Year that Hunter died. Your sweet little beagle you learned to love so much but time goes on and you learned to live with it. Right in the early mornings you awoke once again from the pain in your lower abdomen. Nothing really helped besides waiting for the end.

“Again? We should go now come one” Bucky lifted his sleepy head from his bed and started to dress himself but you stopped him by his wrist.

“No we had that conversation already Buck. Just lay down again. I’ll be fine in a minute or so” you said through gritted teeth assuring him. Bucky got into something like a protective-dad mode which you of course liked but you weren’t sure if he wanted to be a father figure or if you pushed that onto him. Both of you never talked about anything what happens after you gave birth to your son. All that was said was to get out of the country until then.

“Can we talk about something?” you asked, the pain slowly letting go again.

“Something specific?” he said cross legged next to you, holding your hand assuring.

“About what happens if it goes downhill” you said looking up to him but he simply stood up walked to the bathroom with you following because that needed to be said.

“We gotta talk about it. Maybe I am being paranoid and crazy but I want to at least talk about it.” you kept you glance on him as he sternly started brushing his teeth.

“I don’t” Bucky said in between.

“That doesn’t matter. If you don’t wanna fine but just listen: If I don’t make it you take care of this child, if we both don’t make it than I want you to go and find Steve. I know he’s important to you and if you don’t have that bagage anymore then please do me a favor and find your best friend..otherwise I’ll haunt your ass down as a ghost” you chuckled trying to keep this as simple as possible. There was just that small chance of something happening so you don’t want to say that this is your last goodbye to Bucky or something.

“Alright” he smiled, and you hold your finger out to him. “-promise?”you asked smirking but he hesitated a bit to long.

“Oh my god Bucky..I didn’t say it will happen. I just want to you to promise me that you will take care of him and yourself. Alright?” Gladly he linked your fingers together but held onto it after you wanted to let go again. “Now you promise me something” he suggested firmly, you only nodded in response.

“If and only if something goes wrong you won’t just give up. You will fight against it and give your very very best” he said, his voice getting quieter with the last words. “Of course” you replied and got up as he wanted to go in for a hug. That isn’t a stupid rom-com where you made your last promise or something. So you won’t cry or even hug him or be sentimal

“That isn’t emotional Bucky” you said and could almost hear his eyes roll and the sigh he did.

“Can’t even get a hug anymore.” you heard him mumble. “Oh please..” you chuckled, sitting down onto the couch you laid your head onto the back. Your hands on your belly hoping to just stop it, you weren’t ready for being in labor like at all, your anxiety increased with like every second. Only a minute or so passed as you heard the sound of a camera going off. Lifting your head you looked confused to Bucky who had a instant camera in his hands, shaking the picture that just came out.

“What are you doing?” you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Don’t you want some picture for afterwards?” he replied and looked at the picture showing it in your direction. It was immense to see you from that point of view, with the huge pump you got, a messy bun and clearly the signs of the lack of sleep. “Where and when did you even brought this?” you exclaimed, feeling a bit embarrassed.

“from the market. This old guy sold it me for a few bucks” Bucky smirked and took another picture from you. “Would you stop?” you chuckled and hid your face from him.

“No you will regret this if I’ll stop. Look they are really good” He got up and showed you the pictures he had in his journal. Just totally random picture from you or outside or things in your apartment. As he looked at the pictures you took quickly the camera also taking pictures of him. “Oh yes they are” you laughed taking a few more before he snatched it out of your hand. Another contraction struck through you, it lasted a bit longer now but not long  enough and the time in between was also still way to long.

“(Y/N)?” you heard Bucky ask worried. “I’m fine, just a harder one I guess” you assured.

“We should really go see someone now” he said. But you didn’t wanna. You are not ready for this. What if you are a terrible mom or you do something out of accident.

“You don’t have much of a choice” he chuckled. “Yes I have. We wait til my water breaks ok?” you tried to argue which was totally not the best time to do. The contraction stopped now anyways.  

“I don’t think that’s a good idea”

“Calm down ok. They are still not near enough to go to a hospital” you said drinking another glass of water. You knew it’s time now, with every contraction the pain also increased.

“How many did you have til now?” Bucky asked while scribbling something down.

“I don’t know?five maybe more” you thought and looked to Bucky who closed it again.

“Are you writing them down?Why are you already a better mol than I am?” you shook your head laughing.

“Yes I am writing them down but I won’t be a better mom, you can believe me that”

he looked up to you now.

“We didn’t exactly talked about it or us but I thought if you want to of course-” you stopped thinking about it. You would feel guilty if you did it, like you are betraying Luke or something. You are certain that he’s dead and that you wanted a father figure for your son but you couldn’t bring yourself to it to even ask Bucky that because would he even want that?

“Yeeeah?” Bucky looked confused to you, bringing you out of your little daydream.

“Uhh if you wanted to stay in the room with me.” you cleared your thought and quickly changed your original idea.

“Like I would leave you alone” he said coming up to your side, right in the moment as you laid your glass into the sink you felt another one rushing in much earlier then the last ones and much stronger too. Groaning you leaned onto the sink, gripping the sides tightly, seems like you also didn’t have much control right now as the sink froze were still water was. You felt Bucky caressing your back and giving your courage. Suddenly you felt this wet warm fluid that run down your legs. It’s time now and you are still not ready for it.

“Bucky...My water just broke” you brought out with shaky voice. His hand stopped going in circles for a second.

“Ok then let’s go or no you sit down I’ll go get your bag” he stuttered and helped you away from the sink and down onto a chair. As he run around the room looking for the bag you already packed a week ago because you were so impatient.

“No we wait. There’s still time..I- I wanna wait” you sobbed quietly out from the pain increasing through the contractions.

“til the baby comes? I didn’t get to the chapter yet” he exclaimed with sarcastic undertone and as you looked up you saw the smile on his lips just as you thought he would be. Tears struck in your eyes already burning.

“You wanna meet your son? then we go to the hospital now. It will be over in no time. I know that you can do it and I won’t leave your side” he took your hand and his and squeezed it a couple of times to assure and comfort you. It helped a lot but pain like this is stronger.

“Ok” you said with a following sob and let go of him to change into a new pair of sweatpants and put on your shoes and Jacket. The elevator was thankfully empty, the ride to the hospital was not so nice, the driver didn’t really like someone almost giving birth in his car.

Coming to the hospital you leaned onto the front desk while Bucky talked to her.

“How can I help you sir?” she looked to Bucky not even noticing you.

“My Girlfriend is in labor!?” he pointed to you and also keeping a hand on your back. The nurse whistled someone over, a lady helped you into a wheelchair and rolled you away, in a different direction. Looking back towards Bucky you saw him going after you but the madam kept him on the spot. Your nurse also kept you up with questions it made you anxious to be alone with strangers, her english wasn’t the best but didn’t matter anyway now. There was a baby that wanted to come out!

“What are the names?” the front desk lady asked Bucky as he kept his stare into the hallway where you disappeared.

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) and I am..Bucky Barnes” he told her with hesitation but he couldn’t concentrate now.

“Are you the father sir?”

“...sir?” she raised her voice again.

“uh..yes” he said and not because he really wanted to be something like that because he was scared that he weren’t allowed into the room or..in case something would happen from the things you talked about. On the way to your room she asked a bit more but left him alone as they stood before the room.

“Heeeeeeey buckyyy” you said with silly voice. Exactly the opposite from what he thought would happen.

“How are you?” he smirked at you, who sat sideways in a hospital gown there and giggled through her contractions.

“Weird. They already gave me some painkillers and the epidural and now I can’t feel my legs” you told him, your eyes fluttering every few seconds. Two nurses always kept you company checking some things and just getting ready. Contraction after contraction and you still had to wait which was unbearable to do.

“I am hungry” you muttered in between huffing and panting while holding onto Bucky’s hand tightly, you saw his knuckles already turning white.

“You can have whatever you want afterwards” He said. The nurse helping you through the next one telling you that you have to push after the next one and that she would get the doctor now.

“I liked that you called me your girlfriend” you said again with closed eyes, your forehead sweaty but he wouldn’t have it another way according to the other ways that could have happened. He brought his hand up to your face to swipe away a few hair strands that sticked to your face.

“Really?” his smiled disappeared taking that rather serious even tho he is certain that you will forget about this with whatever is in your blood right now. You hummed in response as the doctors and nurses helped you through your pushes, you didn’t much of the pain. More like somehow what really is going on. It was really weird. The nurse counted them down to help you through it. Another one hour or so of pushes you finally welcomed your son into the world. You did it you kept hearing them say as they laid him on your chest for a minute. His soft cries echoed through the room as you cried too. The pain and worries disappearing with just one look at him.

As they were done with the tests and all the stuff you laid in bed with Bucky sitting beside you, your little still unnamed son in your arms.

“You know if you have no problem with it I would uhm- I want you to have a voice in this too. In his life and everything. But if you don’t want to it’s fine too” you couldn’t even bring your eyes away from his. He has the bright green ones like his dad which was almost scary to see after all these months, like you forgot him. Bucky wanted to say no if he was being honest but Hydra is gone at least as it seemed to be and his nightmares are away too if he was with you. Your life isn’t perfect that was as clear as a day and it’s gonna be hard from now on but he couldn’t help himself as he leaned to you letting your eyes meet his before he cradled you cheek softly and kissed you.  

You took that as a yes. For now everything was perfect. Sadly nothing was forever...

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