#i fkn hated that ep i want to be sick it was so insensitive and shit

[akajustmerry]

The Lying Detective: A Summary

toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: I am SUPER EVIL

sherlock: i'm high and suicidal and apparently that's humorous! come fellow suicidal friend, let's tell my brother to fuck off

*later*

therapist: how's the baby?

john: I HAVE A BABY?? oh wait yeah :(

mary apparition: honestly bro u trippin ballz

*later*

sherlock, also trippin ballz: to quote hamlet, fucking nope?????

mrs hudson: *is suddenly james bond, shoves sherlock in the boot, drops him into john's lap* you forgot this

john: i don't care

sherlock: *drinking from a flower vase* apparently my abusive suicidal drug use is still v humorous at this point!! lmao i'm gonna die in 2 weeks

*later*

toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: *holds up a bowl of cornflakes* i'm a CEREAL killer! get it?? do you tho???? imagine if my bff the queen murdered people anyway i'm really evil in case u forgot

kids in hospital: and spider-man couldn't come visit us because????

*later*

faith: hi :)

sherlock: shit i did the bad decsioning oh well i'll do it more btw i'm STILL suicidal and overdosing

john: ...

john: you waNNA FKN GO M8???

sherlock, bleeding, still suicidal and now bashed by his best friend: this is all my fault and totally portraying a healthy friendship between two people that isn't abusive

toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: btw guys i am still over here being EVIL

*later*

mrs hudson: I'M TIRED OF THESE MUTHAFUKIN PEEPS IN MY MUTHAFUKIN HOUSE

mary: sherlock my guy my pal, if you could lean into your fatal manic abuse of drugs and depression so you can be pals with my husband that'd be tight of u go get wrecked lov u

sherlock: i wanna die

toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: murdering people IS SO FUN!! I AM CLEARLY SO SO EVIL RN!

john: fuk u m8

sherlock: omg thanks for coming to save me at the last minute even tho i have been suicidal and overdosing from literally the start of this episode.

john: ur a dick

mary ghost: lol he should wear the hat

*later*

sherlock: *apparently still has irene's orgasm as his text alert even tho he apparently never texts her back and it would expose her as still being alive*

john: aw thats cute! happy birthday btw speaking of texting i too was texting a hoe

sherlock: aw damn :( sucks bro :(

john: yeah ikr??? mary's dead but i still wish i'd done more than text my side-hoe i am literally saying that ur relationship with irene adler is the same as this

sherlock: *literally does and says nothing*

mary apparition: lmao i'm dead!

john: basically, life is short so u should text her back anyway i'm gonna cry now

sherlock: aw :( life sucks :( let's hug it out while a montage revealing that your bus-hoe and therapist was my secret sister who has literally never existed before now and that my brother gets laid apparently these 2 things are relevant to the montage

john: *sobbing* btw i don't think u killed mary

sherlock: that's okay! u only beat the living shit out of me for it so badly i had to be hospitalized before!! this is literally gaslighting but whatevs its okay we're hugging i guess

toby jones as disposable villain who isn't moriarty #5: lolololololol i am still EVILLLL

mary apparition: wear the hat

sherlock: kay :p

sherlock: btw bestiie it's totally okay that u bashed me and cheated on ur wife like.... me texting the only person i romantically love and u being a cheating asshat are basically the same we r all human and i have been psychologically abused and traumatized to the point where i think that's totally fine :)

john: cool! anywho!! i just remembered i have a kid and i've left it with friends even tho one of the main points of this ep was that i have no one so ig2g

*later*

euros/sherrington/whateverthefuck: bye now time for u to have the death i am another classic case of moffatiss villainizing women, showing their mysogyny and incapability of creating female characters independent of male ones :)