#i forget that sorry its locked isn't just canon MH sometimes and I don't know if that's a good thing or not

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HEAR ME OUT. ILOMILO BY BILLIE EILISH IS SO JAM CODED. IM SORRY

Oooooo I don't know that song.

Oh you're so right this is so Jam. Especially Jam in chapter 3 (or thinking back to chapter three in their final moments in the recorded MH) I think, when they're just starting their relationship/talking about their feelings and everything's a little turbulent because Jay's a mess who doesn't know how to cope with anything.

like, I have very many thoughts about this and you're getting all of them unfortunately

Told you not to worry But maybe that's a lie Honey, what's your hurry? Won't you stay inside? Remember not to get too close to stars They're never gonna give you love like ours

Jay, Tim, Jay

First two lines are Jay, trying to pretend like everything's fine and saying that Tim shouldn't worry about any of the weird stuff Jay does, right? Because of Alex. Jay's very weird because of Alex, because he's scared of falling in love with another unobtainable man.

The next two lines are Tim, you know when Jay kinda just ran the fuck out of the motel room after they kissed, because he though Tim was going to abandon him like Alex did? Tim was definitely trying to get Jay to stay inside and not run away so fast before they'd even properly talked about it and just, fixed the whole issue with some good old communication.

Then the last two lines are Jay again, reminding himself not to get too attached to 'stars' aka unobtainable men, men who are soooooo distant like the stars and can only burn him alive when he gets up close. (i'm mostly ignoring the love like ours bit because the only way it makes sense is if it's kinda Jay thinking about Alex, but the thing is Alex was a 'star' too, and what Jay's worried about in my head is Tim ending up being like Alex. So i'm ignoring it.)

Where did you go? I should know, but it's cold And I don't wanna be lonely So show me the way home I can't lose another life

Tim, Jay

The first two lines are Tim, quite literally wondering where Jay went because he stormed away out of their motel room. He steps outside to follow Jay and doesn't immediately see him because he's crouched down beside his car, but Tim needs to know where Jay is, because it's really cold (in like august which it shouldn't be, so he's worried because Operator)

The next lines are Jay. He doesn't want to be lonely. As much as he's scared of getting into another relationship, he doesn't want to be on his own, he wants to be hopeful, he wants this to work. He wants Tim to come after him and 'show him the way home', he wants Tim to come and find him and take him back to their motel room so he doesn't have to do a little awkward walk back to get his stuff and keys so he can leave. He doesn't want to lose another person he's really started to care about.

Hurry, I'm worried The world's a little blurry Or maybe it's my eyes The friends I've had to bury They keep me up at night

Both Jay and Tim

First three lines. Jay wanting Tim to hurry out and get him because he knows something's wrong outside, but he can't really figure out what because the world's blurry with his tears. Tim wanting Jay to hurry up and come back inside so they can talk about it, and then stepping outside into the cold and realizing the world looks just that little bit distorted like it does when the Operator's around, he hopes he's just worried for no reason.

The last two lines. Jay doesn't want to have to bury another relationship, he doesn't want to lose Tim as well, losing Alex already haunts him day and night, and losing Tim would only add to that. For Tim it's a lot more literal, he knows something's wrong outside and he doesn't want to have to literally bury Jay because the Operator or Alex got him, the people he's lost already hang over him, especially Brian.

Said I couldn't love someone 'Cause I might break If you're gonna die, not by mistake

Jay.

Pretty self explanatory, he's scared to love someone again because if anything at all goes wrong he'll fucking break.

The last line feels more like Jay talking about the relationship itself, if it's going to die it'll happen before it's even started, and it'll be on purpose. Jay will push Tim away so that they can't even start a relationship for Jay to be crushed by when it ends.

So, where did you go? I should know, but it's cold And I don't wanna be lonely So tell me you'll come home Even if it's just a lie

Tim

The first two lines are the same as before.

The third line is Tim not wanting to be lonely this time. He likes Jay, he wants this to work between them, and they need each other anyway, to sort out the whole Alex and the Operator thing.

The last two lines are Tim finding Jay and talking to him a little, he wants Jay to come back to the motel room with him, he wants Jay to say he'll come back even if it's a lie, he wants even false hope at getting to have a relationship with Jay, and Jay 'coming home' would give him that hope even if it wasn't actually going to end up with them together, even if it's just so that Jay can get his things and leave again for good.

I tried not to upset you Let you, rescue, me the day I met you I just wanted to protect you But now I'll never get to

Past and future. Jay and Tim.

The first two lines are just exactly what they say. Jay and Tim kinda (metaphorically) rescued each other the day they met, even though they definitely had a rocky start and at the time Tim didn't realize Jay coming back into his life was a good thing.

The last two lines are the future. They want to protect each other. Tim wishes he'd been there to protect Jay in the end, in entry 80, but Jay's gone and Tim's never going to be able to go back in time and fix things. (honestly this whole things could be them both thinking back on everything in their final moments in MH, Jay right as he's dying -life flashing kinda deal- and Tim and that crossroads)

Hurry, I'm worried

Where did you go? I should know, but it's cold And I don't wanna be lonely Was hoping you'd come home I don't care if it's a lie

Tim (end of series Tim)

Tim didn't ever really find out what happened to Jay's body. He never knew where it went, he just knows he never had anyone to bury. He kinda still holds out hope that somehow Jay will come back, because he never got to bury the body, so that means there's a sliver of a chance that Jay's still alive somewhere, right? (right, Skully. Sorta. They have Jay's face and that'd be devastating for Tim) He wants even that false hope that Jay could come back, but he knows any hope he gives himself will be baseless.

Jay's not coming back and Tim's going to have to live the rest of his life without him. (Tim's going to have to raise their daughter on his own, and she already looks so much like Jay, even at only a month and a bit old -i'm sorry, i'm obsessed with the angst of Tim having Jay's kid-)