#i found several pretty good eyes Iv drawn but just not feel like being serious with such thing

[shut-the-burrow-door-pls]

……i just back from birb site, cannot tell what the fuck is this (was a eye train but i just don't like drawing eyes) just silly red-beans

[stxrrywildflower]

reaper

pairing - spencer reid x reader

warning - blood, gunshots, stab wounds, injury in general

summary - both you and hotch are attacked by the reaper

word count - ?

signing, you stepped out of the car and followed hotch into his home. you had agreed to stay and watch jack when he was dropped off in an hour or so. hotch, meanwhile, was getting some stuff from home before going back to the office. you would meet him and the rest of the team back there tomorrow morning.

you dropped your bag on the couch and took a seat. you had been in the older agents home before, mostly to babysit but also for team dinners. this time was no different.

“do you want something to drink?” hotch offered.

you pondered for a quick moment. “coffee if possible,” you replied with a smile. hotch nodded before moving down the hallway and what you thought was into the kitchen. you sighed and pulled out the case files on the reaper out of your bag.

you were deep in thought about the case as a whole when you heard a gunshot down the hallway. within seconds, you were on your feet, gun drawn. as you moved down the hallway, clearing each room, you heard the voice of a man other than hotch and what soon was a sharp gasp.

after hearing that, you took off running and pushed open the door to the other living room. “don’t move,” you practically growled after seeing none other than george foyet standing over hotch. your eyes quickly flicked down to hotch who was unconscious with stab wounds in his chest.

“welcome agent y/n, i didn’t know you were here!” foyet exclaimed, a little too excited to see you.

it all happened so fast. one second you were taking part in a stand off with the reaper. the next you felt nothing but pain. three initial gunshots sounded, all going straight into your abdomen.

you were barely conscious when hotch had woken up. he managed to roll his head over, only to see the reaper now standing over you. the reaper then re-loaded his gun and shot you twice more, one in each leg. then came the knife. he traced cuts down your arms and upper chest area before going back over to hotch.

a conversation was had before the reaper began his own form of torture to hotch himself. close to an hour later, both you and hotch were thrown into a car and driven to the hospital.

the following day, the rest of the team, still unaware of your and hotch’s whereabouts were currently unknown, were tracking down patrick meyers. the case was fairly quickly and thankfully no one was hurt.

reid stood up after shaking off the dirt he had gotten from tackling tom barton to the ground. emily and morgan immediately ran over to the young agent checking his condition.

“we need to get to the hospital. i think something’s happened to hotch. rossi and j.j. are making the calls,” reid revealed.

“where’s y/n then?” emily asked.

spencer’s face visibly paled. “she was supposed to babysit jack last night. her and hotch rode home together last night.”

emily and morgan exchanged a look. morgan wrapped his arm around reid’s shoulder and led him to the car. the suv quickly pulled out of the street and took off to the hospital where hotch was held.

rushing in, they immediately found a nurse at the front desk. “we’re looking for agent aaron hotchner,” emily spoke. while the nurse was typing, j.j. and rossi walked in.

“ah yes, aaron hotchner just completed surgery and is currently in the icu resting. there’s no details in the system yet but if you go to the fifth floor and the nurse at that floor can get you a doctor to give you the details.”

the team sighed a breath of relief. “i need another names checked. y/n y/l/n. she’s also a federal agent but none of us have heard anything about her,” this time morgan said. reid tapped his fingers anxiously on the counter.

the nurses face shifted slightly. it wasn’t extremely noticable but for a group of profilers, it was everything.

“agent y/n has been in surgery since both her and agent hotchner arrived this morning. we haven’t gotten any updates in the system at all due to the severity of her injuries which is why we haven’t been able to update you,” the nurse quickly exclaimed.

reid quickly mumbled something about needing air and took off, walking quickly out of the hospital. the teams faces shifted with sympathy.

“that doesn’t make sense. the only one the reaper had a strong emotional connection with was hotch. why is she worse than him?” emily asked.

“we need to get to hotch’s place. j.j. find reid and stay here. talk to hotch and keep us updated on y/n,” rossi ordered.

from there the team went in separate directions. from there they realized that the reaper had called jessica and informed her that you would not be able to babysit. the blood on the floor nearly made them sick. the gunshot in the wall as aimed at hotch who was then tackled and stabbed. you had interupted them which is why the reaper took out his rage on you.

reid sat practically shaking outside of hotch’s room. j.j. has managed to coax your injury information out of a nurse. she had told reid in a soft voice that you had been shot three times in the stomach, twice in your legs, and then severely cut open. spencer had shook his head and accepted j.j.’s hug after he began to softly cry.

the team had re-grouped back at the hospital. everyone had realized that the case was going nowhere and wanted to focus on your and hotch’s health.

the next morning, hotch woke up. he immediately tried to get out of bed. rossi and morgan had both pushed him down.

“where’s y/n? she was in the house with me when foyet attacked. he shot her,” hotch rushed out. “she’s was in surgery all of yesterday. she’s currently recovering. nurses aren’t sure when she’s going to wake up,” rossi informed him, making hotch groan.

“and reid?”

“he’s not great. j.j. and garcia sitting outside of y/n’s room with him now. but i don’t blame him. none of us let him go to your house after we found out you were in the hospital but hotch, there was so much blood,” morgan revealed.

“find him,” was all hotch replies before leaning back on his pillow.

nearly four days later, you woke up. it was late at night, past visiting hours. when you tried to move, all you were met with was pain. you couldn’t move at all, not even to hit the button to alert the nurse. so, you decided to try yelling.

“hello?” you called out but unsprisingly your voice was extremely raspy. knowing it was no use, you stopped trying and went back to your own thoughts. suddenly, the events of the past week flooded into your mind. foyet, being shot, being tortured, seeing hotch nearly dead, not knowing how the team was, spencer. that last one lingered in your mind longer.

those thoughts caused your heart rate to spike rapidly. suddenly both a doctor and a nurse rushed into the room, panicked expressions on both of their faces. however, they relaxed when they realized you were awake.

“where’s hotch,” you spoke, voice still extremely raspy. you knew it was no use to ask for spencer, the doctors had no clue who he was.

“relax agent y/n. you have sustained very serious and critical injuries. agent hotchner is still recovering just a few doors down. in the morning we can bring him in,” the doctor informed you as the nurse went to change your iv and bring you water.

“my team?” you asked.

“have been here every single day from the beginning of visiting hours until the end. i’m sure today will be no different. between you and me, i’ll try and pull a couple strings to get agent hotchner in here before they arrive.”

you shut your eyes again. in just a few hours you would be able to see your team, and you couldn’t wait.

___

hotch woke up from his nights sleep around 6:30. despite being in a hospital, nothing had changed from his normal routine. his normal nurse walked into the room, did the daily checkup and asked him how he was feeling to which he replied ‘good’.

“by the way, agent y/n is awake if you would like to go see her,” the nurse informed him. after agreeing, hotch was then moved into a wheelchair and escorted down the hallway and into your room.

you glanced over after seeing your boss rolled into the room. “hey hotch,” you whispered with a slight smile. his grimace at your injuries didn’t go unnoticed. “y/n, i’m glad your okay. how are you feeling?” he asked, keeping his tone calm.

“not great but the reapers a bitch. the team should be arriving within the next 10 minutes. i’m sure they’ll be happy to see you,” you replied.

hotch let out a light chuckle. “i’m sure they’ll be much more interested in you. from what i’ve gathered, garcia has researched different recipes that you can actually eat. i’m pretty sure it’s soft and liquid food only. emily and j.j. have missed your ‘girl talk’,” hotch made sure to put air quotes around it as he said it, “derek and rossi have already transformed reid’s apartment, where you will be staying, into a much safer environment.”

“what about spencer?” you desperately asked. hotch smiled at that. “i mean he’s a mess, especially when he found out about you according to morgan. but i’m sure he’ll be absolutely ecstatic to see you.”

you went to reply and start another conversation but faint voices down the hall stopped you. “teams here,” you told hotch. “i’ll have the nurse bring me out to greet them. spencer can come see you first, figure we can give you two some alone time. then the rest of the team can come in. sound good?” you nodded to hotch’s words before a nurse rolled him out of a room.

a few moments later, the door opened again to reveal none other than your boyfriend. “y/n” he breathed out. “hey spencer,” you replied practically grinning. he cautiously moved to your bedside. “hug?” you whispered. spencer carefully reached down, wrapping his arms around you. once pulling away, he sat at your bedside, still holding your hand.

“i’m really glad your okay,” spencer spoke. “i’m really glad i’m okay too. didn’t know one man could have so much rage for someone simply interfering,” you joked. after talking for a few more minutes, you were ready for the rest of the team to come in.

hotch came first, his wheelchair was placing in the corner of the room. then can everyone else, all displaying bright smiles. you glanced around at each member of your team, more like family, and couldn’t help but smile back at them. you and hotch were safe and surrounded by the people that loved you the most.

[cbsmithpks]

Every Parent’s Nightmare

We worry about our children from the day they are born or perhaps even from the day we find out that are we are pregnant. In September of this year, we had the scare of our lives as parents.  After living through this nightmare, I was told by many parents that I should blog about our experience to help raise awareness of the symptoms of joint sepsis in children.

On a typical Thursday evening we thought our 11 year old daughter had the stomach bug that was going around the middle school. She had a fever of 103.4 and was throwing up.  This lasted all of Thursday night and most of the day on Friday. But by Friday evening she felt somewhat better and the fever had dropped to 99.5.  We thought we were out of the woods, but she was up much of Friday night with a fever and throwing up. I even told another mother on Saturday morning that this was the worst virus I had ever seen and I hoped other kids didn’t come down with it. Later Saturday morning, when our daughter tried to get up, she couldn’t walk. She was in severe pain. Even the weight of her leg hanging when we carried her was unbearable. We knew something was wrong. Fortunately for us, our good friend, Maureen is a Pediatric PA. She took a look at her and told us to go to the ER that she thought she had a septic hip.  “A what!!” I exclaimed. How does a perfectly healthy child get sepsis?

We rushed to the ER and were there for over 4 hours.  They did some blood work, an x-ray and we were told she had Transient Synovitis, which is when a viral infection moves into a joint. We were told it isn’t serious and that it will go away on its own. We were sent home with a child still unable to walk and in excruciating pain.  That night things got even worse, she was up all night with a fever, throwing up and in unimaginable pain. In the morning, I called my friend, Maureen. She said she really felt like our daughter had sepsis and that the ER was incorrect. She reached out to our doctor (with whom she works.) He was not on call this particular weekend but lucky for us, he went ahead and met us at his office early on a Sunday morning. Within just a few  minutes, he said, “I am pretty confident that this is a septic hip.” We were admitted to the local hospital where blood test and an ultrasound confirmed the diagnosis.  

While my husband went home for the night to prepare for an oncoming hurricane (we live on a barrier island off the coast of NC,) my daughter and I were taken via a 3.5 hour ambulance ride to University of North Carolina (UNC) Children’s Hospital. We arrived in the middle of the night and within 5 hours of our arrival, I had already met with the Pediatric Team, the Infectious Disease Team, the Orthopedic Team, they had drawn their own labs, done an MRI and our daughter was in pre-op for a joint aspiration.  After that surgery her pain was a bit better due to some pressure being relieved.  That surgery along with the MRI and blood work confirmed the seriousness of her diagnosis and within 2 hours of waking up from the first surgery, she was back in surgery again.  This time they had to open up her hip and go in and clean the infection out of her hip.  A drain pump was inserted to remove the fluid. She was in excruciating pain after this surgery. To say that my heart was breaking for her is an understatement.  She was put on very strong antibiotics while we stressfully awaited the 48 hours for cultures to grow to see if the bacteria was treatable with antibiotics (i.e. that it wasn’t antibiotic resistant.)  She was given an echo-cardiogram to ensure that there had been no damage to the heart. “What!!! This was a possibility?” Another thing to worry about.   Fortunately the results were excellent!  We found out that the bacteria would respond to antibiotic treatment so next we moved into a “wait and see mode” as we waited for the antibiotics to do their thing.

To be considered free of bacteria, blood cultures have to be clean for at least 72 hours. Four days after surgery we had a big scare as the blood culture came back still positive for bacteria.  They were getting her ready for a 3rd surgery when the orthopedic team came in and said that they thought that maybe pulling the pump the prior day could have caused bacteria to backwash into her blood stream and the blood test picked up on that.  So the infectious disease team agreed to wait 24 hours for another blood sample. This was a huge relief as our daughter, who starting to get some relief, was terrified of having this clean-out surgery again as it caused her extreme pain the first time. Fortunately, the orthopedic team was correct and her blood was clean 24 hours later. So now we were 24 hours into our 72 hour wait before she could be considered for discharge. Once her blood was good, she went in for a minor surgery to have a PICC line installed to deliver IV antibiotics for several weeks before she could transition to oral antibiotics. She also started physical therapy to learn to walk with a walker.

She ended up in the hospital for 9 incredibly stressful days. It was difficult for my husband and I to see her in this kind of pain.  We were physically and mental exhausted. We tried to shield her from the seriousness of her condition and it was very difficult to stay positive and not breakdown. I know any parent who has experienced a seriously ill child can relate. It was without a doubt the worst 9 days of my life. I swear that still today when I think about it -  I have PTSD. It makes me almost nauseous.

While at UNC-Children’s Hospital we were educated on the ramifications of not getting timely treatment of sepsis in a joint.  Because the hip is still growing, it is of utmost importance to protect the cartilage. Patients who sustain damage to their cartilage are risking permanent hip joint damage. These patients may require hip replacement later in life if the damage to the cartilage is severe.  There can be complications such as osteomyelitis, bony erosions, damage to the heart and other organs and even death.

Until this, we had no idea that a perfectly healthy, very active, 11-year-old girl could get sepsis in her hip.  Nor did we know how serious and how painful it could be.  Once the antibiotic was working and she was out of immediate danger, we began asking questions about her long-term prognosis as she isn’t the sit around the house and watch TV or read kind of kid.  She is a middle school cheerleader, plans to tryout for the track team, she bikes, surfs, swims, kneeboards and tubes. She never sits still.  The thought of long-term damage, still weighs very heavily on me as I keep thinking --- “was there something else I could have done after the visit to ER with a misdiagnosis?”  In my gut I knew something was wrong.

The delay caused by the misdiagnosis made it day 5 since first symptoms. After 5 days is when one can get into trouble with complications. We won’t know if her growth plate was damaged until we return to UNC Children’s Hospital early next summer. Her orthopedic surgeon feels pretty confident that all will be ok. Once she was in hospital, with the help of the doctors, we had traced back her symptoms.  We learned that her hip hurt her on Wednesday during PE, but she thought she had pulled it in cheer practice and she wanted to cheer at the football game Wednesday night. I also recalled that on Friday, when we thought she had a stomach bug, she mentioned that her leg hurt.  She didn’t say hip.  I chalked it up to a sports injury.  Because for the life of me I couldn’t imagine that fever, throwing up and joint pain could mean a septic joint.  I had never heard of such thing. If it weren’t for our good friend, Maureen, being insistent on this being sepsis, I am not sure what we would have done. I shudder to think of the outcome. 

At this point, I am sure you are all asking “how does a perfectly healthy child end up with sepsis in her hip???” What we learned is that she likely had a cut somewhere on her body and the bacteria got into her blood stream when she came in contact with it. The bacteria was Staphylococcus aureus which is a very common bacteria found everywhere. Typically your body fights it off but for some reason, unknown to the doctors, several thousand perfectly healthy kids a year don’t fight it off and it takes up residence in synovial fluid in a joint area. So we will never know how or where she picked this up or why her body didn’t fight it off. 

While I hope you never have to experience anything like this in your lifetime, I do hope that by writing this article, others can learn more about sepsis in a joint and get quick treatment. While this is not very common (about 5 kids out of every 100,000 kids) it is scary when your kid is one of them. If your child has a fever and has severe joint pain --- shoulder, hip, knee, ankle, elbow or wrist -  it is a medical emergency.  Don’t make light of it. Insists on blood work, x-ray, ultra-sound and be sure to have them seen by a pediatrician, as this is more common in kids than adults. And from what we have learned septic joints are missed quite a bit by general ER docs that are not trained in pediatrics.

Finally, we would like to thank Maureen Young, our awesome Pediatric PA; Dr. Andy Kiluk, who is incredibly gifted at what he does, for rushing to office and giving up his Sunday to ensure that Peyton was diagnosed and transferred to UNC Children’s Hospital where she received exemplary care.  And a HUGE thank you to the following groups at UNC Children’s Hospital (they were wonderful) -  the Pediatric Team, the Orthopedic Team, the Infectious Disease Team, Radiologist, Cardiologist and Physical Therapy. So happy to have such a great resource in North Carolina!

Now..... go hug your kids because I learned that we are not promised a tomorrow. It can all be striped away in the blink of an eye. We were lucky, but it was way way way to close for comfort!!!

[soaimagines]

Roses 🥀

Request: Imagine Jax finding roses on his ex-wifes counter when he goes to pick up their son.

This is the one I struggled with so much. I had it all planned in my head like a fucking movie but when I tried to write it i forgot all words. lol. I hope you guys like it. 💕

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You look very pretty mommy.” You smiled down at your son, who was watching you lovingly from his spot on the bed. “Thank you baby.” After one final coat of mascara you stepped back and looked at your reflection. Not bad. You were just lifting your favourite perfume when you heard a knock on the door. Abel squealed in excitement and you laughed. “Why don’t you go let daddy in?” You suggested as you sprayed yourself with the perfume. He hopped off the bed and ran to the front door while you finished getting ready.

~

The front door swung open and Jax grinned at the sight of his son, bouncing round excitedly.   “Daddy!” He squealed. Jax leant over him and pressed a kiss to Abels forehead. “Hows my boy?” “Good!” Abel giggled. He took hold of Jaxs hand and dragged him inside. Jax pushed the door closed behind him and looked around the house. “Mommy getting ready?” Jax asked. “Yeah, she looks pretty daddy.” Jax smiled and ruffled his sons hair. “She always does.” Something in the dining room caught his eye and he let Abel run over to his crayons while he stepped into the room. In the centre of the dining table was two dozen perfect red roses, wrapped delicately in white tissue paper and sitting in a tall vase of water. The flowers were huge and dramatic, a grand gesture of romance and Jax wondered who was sending his ex wife such gifts. Jax glanced back in the hallway and when he found it empty he stepped closer to the table. Next to the roses sat an envelope and he lifted it carefully and slid the card out. He checked the hallway again before reading the hand written note inside the card. ‘A little something to let you know you’re on my mind, always. I can’t wait to see you tonight. x’ He frowned as he read over the note and couldn’t help the pang of jealousy that coursed through him. He read over it once more before sliding the card back into the envelope and placing it back where he had first found it. Abel ran back into the room, a picture he had drawn in his hands. Jax inspected the art, an expression of admiration on his face as Abel beamed up at him and he tried to stop the thoughts form running through his mind. For three months now you had been divorced, and before the papers were finalised you had been separated for the better part of two years. So why was he jealous? This wasn’t the first guy you had dated since him, surely. But Jax had never seen it. You had always kept your relationships private, not even letting your dates meet Abel. None of them had been serious, just casual flings to fill the hole in your heart. And its not like Jax hadn’t been with other woman. All he had to do was ask and he could have a dozen girls in his bed. So why was this wave of jealousy washing over him? Why now, after all this time, did he feel sick at the thought of another man being with you. You, the woman he had loved for so long. The mother of his child and the love of his life. The decision to divorce had been mutual. You loved each other, of course you did, but somewhere along they way and amongst all the chaos that surrounded him the two of you had lost the spark. There was no real fighting, no bad feelings towards each other. You had wanted him to move on and be happy and Jax had wanted the same for you. But now the idea of it actually happening scared him. Maybe a part of him still hoped that you would find your way back to him one day. Abel giggling brought his mind back into focus and he pushed the thoughts out of his mind.

~

You chewed on the side of your lip and looked at your reflection in the full length mirror once more. It had been a long time since you had been on a date and after inspecting your outfit you finally felt more confidant. You wore a black off-the-shoulder dress that hugged you in all the right places and ended a couple of inches above your knees. Your hair hung loosely down your back, with a few strands framing your face. After watching several make-up tutorials on youtube you had achieved the look you were going for.You had perfectly groomed your eyebrows and perfected a smokey eye with a sharp wing of eyeliner. Tonight you had gone for a fairly simple pair of false lashes, long and sleek rather than dramatic. A thin layer of foundation and a light blush and you were done, leaving your lips fairly natural to draw all attention to your eyes. You took a deep breath and smoothed down your dress. Not bad. You thought to yourself with a final glance at your reflection. You quickly slid into your heels and left the bedroom, feeling slightly guilty to have left Jax waiting. You walked elegantly across the hallway and joined them in the living room. “Wow momma!” Jax looked up at Abels words and saw you smiling at your son. He gulped, his previous feelings only becoming stronger as he took in your appearance. “You look amazing.” Jax said, his voice soft and sincere. A blush came to your cheeks and you rolled your eyes. “I always do.” Jax chuckled and nodded in agreement. “You do.” You smiled and ruffled Abels hair before moving to the sofa and reaching for your handbag. Jax couldn’t help but watch as you leant over the sofa to lift your bag and his breath caught in his throat as the dress rode up your thighs slightly. You swung your bag on your shoulder and checked the contents, making sure you had everything you would need before turning back towards Jax. “Thank you for taking him.” “Anytime.” Jax smiled. “Big date tonight, huh?” He hoped his question sounded casual and by your response he knew he hadn’t been caught prying for information. “Something like that.” You said with a shrug. “He picking you up?” You shook your head. “Said i’d meet him there. Its still early days.” Jax nodded, knowing that you wouldn’t have wanted Abel to meet him just yet. “You wanna ride?” You looked at him and laughed. “My ex husband and our son dropping me off for a date? I think I’ll pass.” Jax chuckled and stood and placed his hand down on Abels shoulder. “Well better not keep the guy waiting.” You knelt down and pulled Abel into a hug before kissing his cheek softly. “Be good for Daddy. I love you.” “I love you too Mommy.” You straightened and smiled at Jax as he gently moved Abel towards the door. “Have a good night, darlin.” He placed his hand on your waist and leant in,pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you Jax.” You smiled at him and he nodded before walking out of the house, Abel in front of him and his backpack in his hand. You watched them leave with a smile before grabbing your keys and heading for you car.

~

“Afternoon, lass.” You smiled at Chibs and kissed his cheek before Abel wrapped his arms around his legs. “‘Ello little man.” Chibs chuckled and ruffled his soft blond hair. “Jax around? He asked me to meet him here” You asked, scanning your eyes across the Teller-Morrow lot. “Aye, he’s inside.” Chibs nodded towards the clubhouse. “I can watch Abel for ye.” “Thank you.” You smiled and waved at Tig and Juice who were leaning against the office smoking. This morning you had received a text from Jax, asking you to meet him at the clubhouse this afternoon. You hadn’t thought much of it, assuming he wanted to let you know he was heading out of town for a few days and wouldn’t be around. It was a Sunday afternoon and the sun was shining down warmly as you walked across the lot. It was so warm in fact that you wore your denim cut off shorts and a white tank top, your hair piled on top of your head in a messy bun and converse on your feet. Jax was sitting at the bar when you entered and he didn’t see you you come in. He had a cigarette pressed between his fingers and a beer in front of him as he hunched over a notebook. “Hey,” You called across the room. Jax looked up and smiled once his eyes found you. You walked up to him and he opened his arms. You stepped into them and pressed a friendly kiss to his cheek before sliding onto a barstool next to him. “Thank you for coming, darlin.” He slid off his seat and stepped behind the bar. He reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer and handed it to you. “What did you wanna talk about?” You asked as you accepted the beer. Jax took a deep breath and walked back to his stool, trying to find the words to start. “I keep thinking about the other night.” You frowned and tilted your head to the side, your eyebrows furrowing together. “At my house?” Jax nodded and ran his hand through his hair before looking at you. “You’ve been seeing this guy a lot.” “Yeah, thats usually what happens when you date someone.” You said. Jax smirked before his face turned serious. “Is it serious?” “Jax, what is this about?” He sighed and ran his hand over his face. “I saw the roses on your table.” You watched him as he spoke and when he didn’t continue you frowned. “And?” “And it made me jealous. I know you’ve been  with other guys but I didn’t know you were going to get serious with anyone.” “Jax we’re divorced. I can-“ “Let me finish.” You paused but nodded, allowing him to speak. “I spent the last few days thinking about you. When I signed those papers I never really thought about you being with someone else. Really being with someone else. It was selfish of me but I always thought we would end up together and seeing those roses and how.. happy you looked made me realise that that was never going to happen.” He paused to check how you were taking this and when he saw your calm expression he continued. “I didn’t know how to be a dad and a husband without sacrificing the club. I know now that what we had.. It cant happen again. I love you so much (y/n), I do. But I know that me wanting you to wait until Ive figured out how to do this is selfish. I know that now.” You watched him closely as he spoke, watched the raw emotions in his eyes. He had been your everything once and you fought back tears, determined not to cry as he opened up to you. “Im sorry that I didn’t appreciate you when I had you, (Y/n). You were a good old lady, a good wife. You’re a good mother. You deserve to be happy and Im not going to stand in the way of that.” You smiled, unable to stop a tear from escaping and rolling down your cheek. You stood and wrapped your arms around him, burying yourself in his neck. He held you close and stroked your back as you gathered yourself. “I love you, Jackson.” You whispered. He smiled and nodded as you pulled away. “I know.” You wiped your cheeks and sat back on the stool, taking a much needed swig of your beer. “But if this guy hurts you, I swear to god I will kill him. I already know where he lives.” You groaned, but your eyes were playful and a smirk appeared on your lips. “Why you gotta ruin a moment like that?!”

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