#i gotta finish jessica jones at some point lol I think it’s about to be a yr or something since I started it

[spidey-boyy]

okay i got my dad into daredevil a while ago but we finished s3 today and we immedilty started the punisher right after lol so here’s my thoughts on s1 ep 1 of that

damnnn that was a far shot

lmao, his family here is nOt the one we saw in the photos in dd

i like the editing of this so far, the cuts back and forth and stuff helps the tone and all

i like donny so far,,,, why do i feel like he’s gonna get killed soon

“i take one of those sandwiches you stop talking?”, love you frank 

who’s is talking now?- that’s an awkward ass shot of the bridge lol

damn frank’s out here making me sad and he hasn’t even talked much so far, he's just standing out side the group therapy rn

liking curt tooooo

… -is that pOnYbOy???

yo donny,,, be careful man 

what are these two people?? detectives, agents? i guess so

okay this is a werid cut to his wife, like give it a couple of seconds. Waitttt but this is so sad stopp

donyyyyy stop this pls,,, DONY NO SHIT

what happened at 10:30? is it like an actual memory or is this like something that his wife actually said and it's being applied to the dream/flashback- WAIT NO FRANK

why are these idiots going to the construction sight, they got no homes?,,, oHh MY GOSH

omg this is the first episode still lol, it feels so long

O k a yyyy this is like very dark damn

actually this music is growing on me, wasn’t digging it in the beginning but i am now

oh damn frank’s got more work to do. OH shit

who tf are you?? EW HE KNOWS FRANK’S NAME

okayyy, i’m liking this so far! all the characters are cool and stuff and seeing frank in his own setting instead of being in dd’s world is interesting. i like the use of the crazier feeling music like for the fight scene, i mean it kinda took me out at first but i think it was just bc I wasn’t used to it lol. And i also like the choppier editing when it comes to the flashbacks. i’m interested to see where this goessss

[knivesandwives]

Can you give an excerpt (is that the word?) or a pic from the book about Hannibal and Clarice's little date thing? I'm intrigued lol

Oh lol I'm honestly still reading it! Thank you for facilitating my venting though, and I will gladly share my incomplete knowledge. I haven't even finished this scene, which continues into another chapter. I had to take a break and cool my head because it makes me want to gag like I was a 5 year old with an aversion to kissing scenes (which is not usual for me. I just. I don't know about this). I could take the time to finish reading it in the time I'm writing this buuuut I'm too heated to do so atm, even though it would spare me the embarrassment of having very incomplete context. I don't even know whether Thomas Harris intends for the reader to want them together, but his treatment of Hannibal Lecter has generally verged on salivating over him, imo, so. I'm gonna take it as implied that I should like this a bit more than I do. I could be very wrong. Under the cut because it is a Rant

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I’ve got the fun wacky stuff first because this book is Wild. Bonkers. Then I have semi serious stuff and Thoughts thoughts in the second half 

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WACKY FUN STUFF PART

it is So over the top corny. Highlights so far:

-Hannibal is playing the harpsichord when Clarice walks out. In other scenes he’s played his theremin. He is insufferable

- the piece he's playing is called ‘If True Love Reigned’ and was composed by Henry VIII, which is a red flag if ever I heard one

-he dresses up in white tie for her and spends FOREVER decorating the house *just so* and inspecting the dinner table from various angles to check whether the Aesthetic is right, because the house he's rented out is only so-so and he's gotta make up for it:

I mean. He decides to add a shit ton of flowers to make it intimate and create a hanging gardens effect, realizes that this looks bad, and decides that the solution is More flowers. Maybe he’s right, but I think with the rest of the decorations this is probably looking like a mess right now.

-Uhhh if I remember correctly from the Freudian Daddy Issues chapter (hhhhh I want to have a word with Thomas Harris), the reason he makes the peonies in the flower arrangement “white as SNO BALLS” is because she has some sort of (dad-related) childhood memories about these fucking Hostess twinkie-level snacks. There are Levels to his floral arrangements

-Similarly, the cocktails he prepares for them have orange slices on the side because it’ll remind her of her father slicing oranges and Hannibal wants to be daddy

-The landlord he’s renting the house from (where he’s keeping Clarice and holding Date Night) has a fixation on Leda and the Swan, to the point that he has four statues of it and eight paintings of it in that one house alone. Hannibal likes the horniest one with the best “anatomical articulation.” Make of that what you will. There was indeed a reason for Bryan Fuller including such a pussy out painting in the set for Hannibal’s dining room. Hannibal covers the other Leda statues and paintings that don’t live up to his standards

- He brings her clothes to wear?? Special Fancy clothes for Date Night. Ugh. And I thought it was pushy and anal in SOTL when he gave her tips on how to improve her fashion

- Hannibal wears an ascot over a white shirt. No jacket. I don't know if I trust the taste level of this man. I like Freddy from scooby doo but his look seems like a stretch in this context

-he uses candelabra like he's the phantom of the opera and has this incredibly fucking extra mirror in his rented house:

-he tells her his goals for the evening in one of the trademark Long Confusing Hannibal Monologues we’re so used to seeing in the show, then asks Clarice if she understands, and her response is: no I don’t so I hope your food is good at least

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actual Serious Thoughts about it  (content warning: some vaguely psychosexual things involving characters’ family, drugging and non-sexual consent issues)

I think my reaction is definitely influenced by the context that's been presented so far for their relationship in this book, which includes (briefly):

--Hannibal has a fixation on Clarice as a potential replacement for/idealized version of Mischa, his dead sister. The moment he lays eyes upon her again in this book he starts having uncontrollable flashbacks that directly associate Clarice with Mischa and overlays their meanings and iconography. So... that's something. It shows up constantly whenever we get a glimpse into his POV. I have thoughts about what Hannibal finds appealing about Clarice RE as an idealized version/teacup reversal of Mischa; the book tells us he admires her courage and her spirit as a warrior despite having been victimized, and so Clarice is in some ways a version of Mischa that was capable of surviving despite the odds. That was (crudely) my working theory, anyway. Might have to reevaluate that now because I'm less certain now about Hannibal's intentions and how much his appreciation for Clarice is really *respectful* of her potential, versus how much he sees her as some sort of vehicle to replace Mischa and be some sort of walking talking idealized doll that he crafts into his dead sister. I wanted it to not be *as* weird and psychosexual as I thought it would end up being, but this book definitely leans into some weird sexualized Freudian shit, and I'm concerned that Mischa and Clarice are part of that despite my best efforts to rationalize it in a way that I would have preferred. Really, who fantasies about their lover being a reminder of their sister?

--Freudian hell part 2: Hannibal has rescued Clarice from the Verger farm (after she rescued him, which was quite dramatic) and has her drugged at his house and undergoing the type of hypnosis we see suggested with Will and Miriam Lass in NBC!Hannibal. Hannibal suggests things, she follows those suggestions with apparently little agency of her own. He probes into her history and traumas and causes her to see things. Among his goals here is to have her make peace with her dead father in some way (in a scene which strongly resembles Abigail's therapy with GJH's corpse as seen in the s3 flashbacks), and to give her some form of control over her memory of him. This is accompanied by some very squicky speculation from Hannibal about Clarice having taboo sexual associations with her father, which she projects (among other things) onto other father figures in her life like Jack Crawford or her fallen FBI partner. I didn't know before I got into this book whether it was going to legitimize the Electra complex angle on Clarice this much, and maybe I'm wrong to accept Hannibal's viewpoint as sacred, but. So far, that seems to be the take.

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So that's the context for the leadup to this romantic dinner scene. Hannibal has decorated his house specially for this date night type thing and given her a slinky, fancy dress to wear in his fancy house. Clarice has been heavily under the influence of drugs so far, and this night is no exception. This chapter so far has been a treasure trove of the more romantic dialogue repurposed for NBC!Hannibal, but I kind of can't stand it here in this book as anything remotely romantic. It's almost entirely him talking *at* her and it seems like this is more about him and his idealized fantasy of her than it is actually about her. The text does refer to him as "the monster" more frequently in this chapter, and it calls him out directly for his vanity and self congratulation, so I'm not entirely sure if I'm even supposed to like it, but. Anyway. You asked for excerpts! This particular scene is probably the densest part of a very dense chapter (the highlights are a mess rn):

There's a lot of interesting stuff in here, some of which really raises my hackles in ways I wasn't anticipating. Clarice has just emerged in the outfit he chose for her to join him. Clarice's first question to him is to ask about how much he's invaded her privacy without her knowledge, and he has a very bullshit answer where he pretends that this situation he's manufactured, in which he drugs her and creates a fantasy world for them, is okay because it exists outside of reality. It doesn't. It's an interesting idea but it's bullshit. This is not his memory palace, this is reality and it does exist as a part of time that Clarice has had to experience (or not, as the case may be for her level of consciousness throughout this). And he turns around from this question about him being intrusive to reiterate his attraction to her. Squick at that. Her plain (possibly curt?) answer to his compliment, even though it's a thank you, causes him annoyance. This is where I really, Really start to have, like, flashbacks to Jessica Jones and the playing house plotline. Real strong flashbacks to that. Clarice's (apparently unintentional) failure to meet his standards and reciprocate in the exact way he wants her to makes him Annoyed. Clarice identifies this and holds her ground, interestingly enough, and Hannibal has a moment of awe at her stubborn individuality, but immediately falls back on self congratulatory wanking at his choice of woman. Then, there's more talking at her, to which she eventually says that she basically doesn't know what the fuck he means but she hopes he plans to make dinner worth her while. I appreciate Clarice holding her ground so well here, especially given the circumstances, and I don't know quite where this is headed, but I guess the gist of it is that in this context I just really want to slap Hannibal about and see him burn

[canaryatlaw]

okay. so. today was pretty fun. I had set my alarm for 10:30 as we’d agreed Jess would pick me up at 11. Well, I woke up to said alarm at 10:30 to a series of messages from Jess telling me to get up already because she wanted nuggets before we went to the con. I told her I’d be ready in 15 minutes, because I was being good and woke up half an hour beforehand when I knew it only really took me 15 minutes to get ready when I’m not doing my make up (doing it in the car here). So I got ready, doing Peter Pan today because I gotta take advantage of my short haired red headed cosplay options because I hate wigs and will be wearing them both Saturday and Sunday. Got picked up, went to Mcdonalds, drove to con, didn’t get stuck in ridiculous traffic like we did yesterday, so that’s a win. I’m trying to remember the details of how everything went down, when you’re there all day and you’re doing different things within a small space it can be hard to remember exactly what you did when. But I think we got there and went to find some people and talked with them for a while, then found Jess’ two friends (”friends”) who were running around doing different things, after waiting for them for a little bit. And I mean, for most of the day we just did different versions of walking around and finding people and looking at things? we’d hang out with a certain group of people for a while and then they’d go off and do a photo shoot or something and we’d migrate to a different group of people. At some point during the afternoon we decided to go through the whole show floor aisle by aisle to assess options before buying anything. I knew I wanted to get a t-shirt of some sort, and sadly there were very few legends-related items out there (I think the only places we really saw them were in the sections where you have the IDs from different shows) so I figured I’d either want something Wonder Woman or Superman related, since those are my other two faves. I was also potentially looking for a cool backpack that’s somewhat bigger than the one I have now because in two weekends we’re doing HVFF New Jersey/Rose City CC in Portland over two days and are just bringing backpacks, and since I decided tonight that I am going to cosplay both days (and the NJ one I am SO excited about!!) I’m gonna need something that can fit a lot of things. What’s annoying about the t-shirt thing is pretty much all of them at cons are only in unisex sizing, not women’s sizes, and I don’t really like how they fit me so I don’t end up wearing them as much as I do the Wonder Woman or Superman shirts I have in woman’s sizes. The other thing I might potentially buy is an Elektra from Daredevil funko pop because back when I was still looking for Katniss but was getting convinced I wouldn’t be able to find her (before I found her online) I was considering making Elektra my next one, and she would fit nicely on my stack of funkos in their boxes (that are literally in a stack on my dresser right now that consists of dark haired women who totally kick ass because apparently I am predictable like that (right now it’s Wonder Woman, Jessica Jones, and Katniss) (I do have three other funkos that are out of their boxes and placed elsewhere, which are my White Canary and Captain Cold, placed in conjunction of course, and Smallville Green Arrow played by Justin Hartley love of my life and the only actor to portray Green Arrow in live action as far as I’m concerned). So we set off to do that. A number of good Wonder Woman options I took note of, a few ones that are old comics styled, a few featuring other Justice League members like Superman and such (though I’m really not a Wonder Woman/Superman shipper like, at all, so not those because Clois is the only valid ship for Clark Kent, though I am open to WonderBat possibilities). There is also a very cool Wonder Woman backpack we were looking for that I’ll probably go back and get because it had a lot of places to put stuff and looked like it could fit everything nicely, it was just 60 bucks so I wanted to make sure it was definitely the best one before actually buying it. The Elektra pop has shown up a few places, cheapest so far for $10, so I’ll keep looking at those since there are of course a ton of places with pops. We kept getting stopped by random men that wanted to talk to us because Jess was being a fucking furry (she got asked to take a picture with two people in full on fur suits and I was dying laughing while also taking a picture of it). By the time it was like 5:30 or so we were pretty much done with everything, so we ended up meeting up with some people and heading to one of the restaurants over by the parking garage, because if you eat at one of the restaurants there they’ll validate your parking so you don’t have to fork over like $15 just for parking. So we ended up going to the German restaurant, which is always a bit of an adventure lol. The first time my family went to DisneyWorld when I was like 12 our restaurant reservations got messed up for one of the days and the only other place we could get in was the German restaurant in Epcot, and all I remember is there menu being like, essentially like three different types of hot dogs, so whenever I think of German food now that’s what I think of, and how I somehow managed to not barf it all up when my brothers and I ran (literally) from Epcot over to Animal Kingdom to get to our fast pass for Expedition Everest, which we made with like 4 minutes left on it and then went on the crazy roller coaster where I was sure I was gonna puke it all up (our restaurant reservation was for like, 4:40, and the fast pass was between 6 and 7, so we thought we’d be fine, but the restaurant got super backed up and didn’t seat us till like 6:15, so we basically ate like half a meal and then ran from the middle of the Epcot circle of nations through the rest of the park, onto the tram and then all the way through Animal Kingdom to Expedition Everest, making it at 6:56). But we got some super cute pictures of my darling baby sister who was 3 at the time and like at peak cuteness dancing to the polka in the German restaurant so that was definitely worth it. ANYWAY. this restaurant seemed somewhat similar in that there was a polka band and everything but thankfully had a larger menu selection. Jess and I ended up splitting some potato pancakes (sorry Germans, they weren’t as good as latkes) and a jumbo pretzel because she doesn’t eat red meat and I’ve been getting Meat Fatigue™ (which we’re still pretending is a real thing okay). We had an interesting conversation going on around us as the guy sitting next to me was trying to say it was bs that people were making excuses for James Gunn in that situation when strongly condemning Trump for making obscene comments, except he was not explaining it well at all and it was totally being lost in translation for everybody else until I was like okay, this is what you mean and explained it and he was like “yes, exactly! I like her” to which I was like 😂😂😂 understanding what people are saying pretty much all the time and explaining things happen to be two random talents of mine that come in handy a lot. So the meal was pretty good, one of the ladies we were with graciously picked up the tab so we were very thankful to her for that. At that point we were pretty beat so we walked back to the parking garage (after getting our parking validated) and drove home. I got dropped off and we planned to pick me up at 10 am tomorrow. I fumbled in the dark with my keys for a few minutes because somehow all the outdoor lights and the lights in the hallway of my building have gone out and not been replaced (yes I could’ve turned my flashlight on on my phone but I was being stubborn and wanted to do it myself) but eventually got it figured out. NICKZANO was very happy to see me, though I told her she’s gonna have to get used to being alone more once I get a job (at some point, anyway). I think I may actually be allergic to cats though, because my legs where I’d been letting her sit on are like hella itchy, but it’s obviously not a major issue at all and I’ll just like, put pants or longer shorts on from now on and that won't be a problem. I showered and changed into my pajamas, then watched a few episodes of 30 Rock, keeping it nice and light. I’m in their 5th season now out of 7 (which is kinda funny because I’m also on the 5th season out of 7 on GoT right now) so sooner or later I’m gonna have to find something else for funny filler episodes when I just want funny tv. And yeah, I did that for a while and then finished getting ready for bed and here we be now. So yeah, lots of fun, hopefully tomorrow will as well, I will be debuting my Ava Sharpe cosplay (who I was never really planning to cosplay but ended up needing to do so for our photo op with Matt Ryan which is gonna be fucking hilarious, just wait) and seeing Matt Ryan so that will be fun. I’ll probably wait till Sunday when I’m doing my also new (and pulled together exclusively of stuff I already owned because business wear) Lois Lane cosplay to see Tom Welling and Michael Rosenbaum. I was considering doing a photo op with them, but their joint one was $150 which is a tad excessive, and like, Tom alone was still $90 and I wouldn't even know what to do in a single one with him because I’d rather like, have one with both of them so Tom and I could look like we were fighting Michael, but also Michael has hair now so he doesn't even really look like Lex Luthor anymore, so given all of those factors I decided meeting them and getting selfies with them in my cosplay would be good enough. Okay, that’s all I got, it’s 1 am and I’m waking up at 9:30 and I like sleeping so I’m going to go to bed now. Goodnight peeps. Have a lovely weekend.

[canaryatlaw]

alright, so. it’s late. today was fine though. I woke up at like, 12:35, and got out of bed fairly soon afterwards since it was already fairly late. god did sleeping in feel good though. I ate cookies for breakfast, but they were oatmeal raisin cookies, which means they have at least two things in them that are good for you, so I feel like they’re closer to an appropriate breakfast food than a normal cookie would be. But I got to work pretty soon, finished the end of the statement of facts laying it out, then started looking at cases for the argument section but then ended up getting confused because like (I’m gonna try to explain this), we’re appealing an order changing the permanency goal (you don’t have to know what that is) to termination of parental rights, but I can’t find any cases that are on point as far as an appellate court reversing a change in permanency goal because it’s not considered a final order and you can only appeal a final order, but we’re doing a special interlocutory (meaning you’re appealing an order from a case while it’s still ongoing and a final judgment hasn’t been made yet) appeal, but I can’t find any cases on that, so am I just supposed to use cases that are courts reversing a termination of parental rights even though that’s not exactly on point for what we’re doing? Technically we’re doing a preliminary step called a petition for leave to appeal that you have to do in order to be granted permission to do an interlocutory appeal, but there definitely will not be any case law on PLA’s specifically. So I ended up kinda getting stuck there because I didn’t know what else to do going forward, so I made the title page and did a few other things, combing through my notes and trying to piece everything together. Around 5:30 I stopped and started getting ready because I was going to get dinner with one of my law school friends (the one I referred to as spring break friend in the past) because tonight was the “Barrister’s Ball” event for school and we decided we didn’t want to go because boo school so we were gonna get dinner instead. It was really gross and rainy out all day, and I didn’t really want to spent 20 minutes walking to the red line getting rained on, so I took the bus to the brown line and went from there. We were going to this cute Italian place that was by my old apartment that I went to on a tinder date like two years ago lol but the food was really good and I was craving some solid Italian food. So I got there and we had a nice dinner, talking about potential future plans and commiserating about how absolutely miserable it is to be in school right now and just every day being like CAN I LEAVE YET PLEASE??? like I didn’t my entire third year to be this bad of a case of law school senioritis, but it really is. I mean, just having your 711 (student law license) and being able to do actual court things, not just watch, and then being told you have to go back to class?? It’s like no, no way, I’m staying here lol but if you wanna get that real law license you gotta get it done. Sigh. But we had a nice dinner, the food was really good and was a well-sized portion, I ate all of it but didn’t feel like I was stuffing myself, so that was good. Afterwards I took the same public transit back, I had to wait like 15 minutes or so for the bus to come after getting off the train but I didn’t mind all that much because it’s one of the train stops that has an indoor part where I can actually wait for the bus so I’m not freezing. I was so cold by the time I got home though, and my hands were still like, feeling cold an hour afterwards. It was weird. But I then watched two more episodes of Jessica Jones, so I just have one more left now. Yeah, I’m definitely not feeling this season as much as I did the first. The whole psycho mother killing people thing is.....weird, and just not a very compelling plot IMO. Oh well. I’ll probably start Krypton when I finish, so I can catch up to where it’s currently airing, though I still can’t watch it live and have to wait for amazon to put the episodes up the next day (my life would be so much easier if I got the syfy channel, I swear). And yeah, after that I started getting ready for bed and that’s pretty much it. I got my period today which was about what my period tracking app had predicted (I think it said two days from now) but what’s super annoying is that for some god forsaken reason my period is now on a once every 3 weeks schedule, like looking at when my last one started to when this one started was exactly 3 weeks, and like, that fucking sucks man. I didn’t have much in the way of cramps today, but I expect them to be in full force tomorrow. Thankfully I have the thingy that helps with cramps, so that should come in handy. And yeah, that’s about all I got for now. Church and babies in the morning, should be good. Goodnight darlings. Love you all.

[canaryatlaw]

So, today was good. I was in a generally good mood for no particular reason?? And that's a really awesome feeling. Maybe it's just school being back and me feeling motivated again, and hopefully it means the meds I'm on are helping, so I'll take it. I woke up at 11:20, got ready and walked to the train (getting absurdly sweaty and gross in the process, I don't like doing that walk when it's still this hot out) and went to school. I had business organizations this afternoon (which everyone just refers to as bus orgs and I will refer to it as such going forward) which was alright, the professor seems like a decently funny guy at least. The class is really big, lots of 2Ls, though that should probably be expected. One of my mentees from last year was there so that's cool. I think I managed to pay attention for most of it, so that's good. After that I went to the PAD office and chilled out while doing my reading for legal profession tonight. It was easy reading, just time consuming to actually get done. I definitely had some of the generalized I'm never going to finish all this work anxiety, but it wasn't too bad. I finished that reading around 4:30 and ran down the street to grab two prescriptions quickly before starting on my adoption law reading for tomorrow night. I didn't have as much time as I'd like to have to do it and only got halfway through, but I didn't want to bring it back home with me because my bag was absurdly heavy this morning with books from 3 classes and I didn't want to lug it back with me again, so I left it in the PAD office and hopefully (I should) have time to finish the reading before class tomorrow. Then it was off to legal profession, and oh boy, I checked out of this class very quickly lol. It became clear that it's gonna be one where the professor just generally drones on about the ethics of professional conduct and the whole thing is based around the rule anyway so as long as I memorize the rules (which is very easy for me) I'll get an A in the class and be fine, so I'm not worried there. The classroom was also freezing, so that was less than ideal, but I made it through. Got home and had some food because I definitely didn't pack enough with me for the day, and turned on episode 7 of the defenders. I'm sad I only have one episode left, I feel like they totally could've made this 13 episodes if they wanted to, but I guess they didn't want it to drag. I'm interested in what Elektra's endgame is here because she's made it pretty clear she cares for Matt but also seems to want to lead the hand in doing whatever the fuck they're doing, so when that comes to a head it should be interesting (I'm still not over her killing Alexandra and just being so unbelievably amazing in doing so, I wanted to like get up and start cheering, it was so epic, just "his name is Matthew" AHHHHHH). Of course I continue to love Jessica Jones because she is my heart lol I feel her on so many levels. So I'm excited to see the finale but also don't want it to be over, mixed feelings. After that I made my lunch/dinner for tomorrow and packed it in my lunch bag, then got ready for bed. Tomorrow I have my first shift at the DV clinic so I'll do that and then go to class. I always enjoy being there because it's such a tangible way to help victims of domestic violence and it's a really interesting legal project at the same time, I definitely learned a lot in my time there, so I'm looking forward to being back there. I heard from the ACLU this morning, just a short email saying they got my application and they'd let me know if they wanted an interview, which is a good sign because I was worried they were gonna say "sorry we already filled all the spots" which I would've been angry about because the whole time thing /wasn't/ actually my fault. At this point though, I don't know if I actually want the internship. I mean, I want it, and I'm certainly not going to turn it down, but I don't know if it would necessarily be in my best interest at the moment. The way things are now I have liberal ability to sleep in throughout the week, which is great, and I generally don't have an issue with motivation if I get to sleep in a fair amount. I was at first worried about having too much downtime because of it and ending up kind of languishing but I don't think that would be a problem. If I took it I could drop the DV practicum, but that would only cut an hour and a half from my current schedule, while adding 16 hours of work a week (likely, anyway) so that's a big change for the same amount of credits. Like yes, there's definitely more to this than the credits, and it would look really damn good on my resume when it comes to job hunting if I want to get hired by a children's rights nonprofit. So a lot of conflicting emotions there, but I'm just gonna let it play out and if it doesn't happen oh well, I'll be fine, and if it does we'll go from there. Okay, that's all I gotta say for now. Goodnight sweeties. Sleep well.