#i guess it just confuses me bcs to be racist on social media abt a fb players you are ALREADY a racist

[transrightsjimin]

was on the phone w my parents for 1 hour and almost 40 minutes today and on the one hand i think it was good to keep each other up to date on stuff and give them that social interaction they rly crave, but on the other hand i feel so fucking weird abt not saying anything when my mom talked abt having done smth very racist + pro-cop nd i was just so shocked and saddened but also didnt know what to say??

like she is in one of those neighbourhood whatsapp group chats ('buurtpreventie apps') (which are unfortunately rly popular in recent years), in which people from a certain street or flat contact each other to keep an eye on each other aka use it to report random black or arab people to the cops. which she did when two men were in her flat to collect money for charity nd apparently it was a scam bc the permit wasnt for that specific charity that week but just. my mom talking abt how she snitched on them nd the rest of the flat of even older people encouraging that, nd worst of all my mom going 'kijk dit klinkt vast een beetje racistisch maar het waren twee donkere mannen dus we dachten dat dat dezelfde waren als de oplichters waar we over hoorden' HELLO??? 🤢 like i had to say smth but then i fucking didnt bc i was just so weirded out and know how threatening my mom gets when shes criticized. like i just dont know how to get some sense or compassion into her head bc she's blocking it all. she used to be a socialist who even supported anarchists and protest state violence and now she's just.... vaguely in agreement w criticism of class structures but as soon as it's about strictness if tax authorities to the poor, or about racism, her support stops and ppl are criminal to her. it's so tiresome. so im frustrated i didnt say anything but then DID talk the ears if my dad's face by trying to explain where mask skepticism came from nd how the govt and conspiracy theorists were to blame for this and why they do this (money), but i was rambling too much prob nd my dad just doesnt follow anything bc old nd adhd nd former alcoholic (he also didnt understand what memes r which i realized too late after trying to tell him mama sent me a 13 page pdf w bad memes) nd so eventually he noted 'but please don't eh get into the opposite side of these conspiracy theories, believing in other ones' nd im just 🤦‍♂️ i prob sounded fuckingrly incomprehensible nd extreme to him??

he also asked me what i thought of the sylvana simons interview in the interview he gifted me nd i said i liked it but was side eyeing some repeated, rethorical questions she was asked abt 'extremist muslims!!'. he seemed more positive abt BIJ1 / sylvana than my mom who completely discredits them just solely based on the racist general public's treatment of her, whereas my dad seemed kind of curious but also tone policed how sylvana should have not sounded this angry and how he found it strange she kept bringing up 'minorities' and *very confused* ' l.. g... b...t ... q .. uhh'. which is still somehow better than my mom who immediately discredited her political party based on nonsense racists spout for years so i guess the bar is on the ground

nd ALSO me telling my dad contact w my mom is difficult was met w him relativating it by saying my mom is in severe pain bc chronic pains nd illnesses nd even worse lately, shes on her way to become deaf (p much is on one ear nd the other almost) nd was too stubborn to get a hearing aid (but then was more willing to in the end). but anyway his argument is not to be so harsh at mama for being so snappy bc shes in pain nd has bleeding intestines again nd hears these noises bc of her messed up ears so cant sleep etc and then theres just regular back and hip nd knee pains she has bc of deteriorating bones bc medication. like i get thats horrible nd i do get that thats why her moods change so much nd shes so scary to talk to but i dont think thats a reason to never ask her to maybe not say or do smth abusive or bigoted??

like at the time i was happy that they were finally a bit more satisisfied bc i talked to them for a long time but im just really so puzzled on what to say to them when they say smth horrible, like. i feel like i have to try to educate them nd not make them (especially my mom) move further to the right nd to racist rethoric. nd i dont even think her racist views changed that much (though she did luckily, though only somewhat, changed her mind on zwarte piet) but the netherlands is just so behind on shit that even acknowledging racism exists here is incomprehensible to ppl like her and enrages them so much bc its seen as a personal insult. like idk what to say to an old white woman who had threatened to slap me if i ever called her actions racist again, and who clearly believes in cops and antiblackness so much just like the average member of a buurtpreventie app, that calling cops on black men is justified to her. like idk how to change someones mind bc she never listened to me nd only gets aggressive nd i have to stay nice and never confront her actions bc shes in insufferable pain???? what about other disabled people who r in chronical pains and SUFFER bc of racism?? like white disabled people rly get a free pass on being shitty bc of feeling bad but the same mentality isnt applied to poc. like she's rly become a stubborn old adult who doesnt listen to / read what others state unless it doesnt challenge her views or if its on tv or whatsapp groups, nd anything confronting is met w insults or passive agressiveness. like idk how to educate ppl like that bc my parents (esp mom) clearly refuse to be open to that, and they dont use social media nd cant read the same level of english as me so all info has to be in dutch but also everything is seen as a personal insult or 'too elitist' language so i rly dont know what to do. like i want to be more than a fucking ally on only the internet nd maybe 1 or 2 protests per year, but idk how to get through the thick skulls of people 30-40 years older than me who r so hard to communicate w bc they dont get technology, social media, newer language, poc, lgbt stuff, cant read a lot of english nd stop reading at difficult words etc ???