#i had a few days of when i was hating on nepo babies bc they had it easy but my journey is not the smae as anyone elses

[telltaleanatomicalheart]

i realize i keep having thoughts of going to school or taking a class that ends up with some certification or whatever, but in reality, going to school is just the only thing i know like i was in school my whole life and i was MISERABLE, but it was what i new. just like going to an upper education every year and thats all i knew. and being autistic and having such a drastic change is HARD cause im not in school anymore and dont wanna go back. but like honestly when i did take a class on something i loved, like film, i couldnt enjoy it. like my mind only new how to formulate 3-page essays after that. like i couldnt write a letterbox review for ages until now bc i just saw the assignment in everything but i also didnt like the curriculum, i HATED it actually, and i didnt learn what i actually wanted to learn, which i feel i can only do in the field or on like youtube or through people that have the same love for art that i do. but yeah the only good thing that came out of that class was a 10 minute video essay on tragic gays in film and a trip to universal where i was overtsimulated lol. but yeah i think traditional allistic academia will ruin my love for certain arts bc my mind will only formulate things not see the romace or portry in it anymore :(