#i had to use a russian source for the cyrillic version of mischa's name

[theoriginaleurotrashbitch]

i wish i did not know the ache of love.

in my youth i heard rumours, stories, women driven to flame, men transforming into ice. but i still yearned for it. maybe it was because i wanted to be electrified by passion, maybe i wanted to be seen by the gaze of death. maybe i simply feared that a lack of love would hurt more than its presence.

that much is true, at least. for i have felt love, it has coursed through my veins and it burns. i nourish the emptiness inside my soul every day he is gone. there is a cavity in my heart, one only he could fill, so it shall remain hollow. but without that pain, he would become a mere memory, diluting into nothing more than air and bones. food for the vultures.

even then, i wish i did not need to know the ache of love.

михаиле, мій лю́бий, поверта́йся, до мені́. пий мої́ сльо́зи, коли́ бу́ду пи́ти ва́ші, і трима́й ме̏не в ва́ших рука́х, коли́ бу́ду трима́ти тебе́ в мої́х. якось, бу́демо спокі́йний ра́зом