#i hate myself so maybe i'll get part 2 done tomorrow idk

[yaotomejr]

Arthur Pendragon [Prototype] Trial Quest (Part 1)

Event Quest : “------Someday, to the day of saving the planet”

~Part 1~

"...... ......"

Damn it------ This was a happening right after I, with bad luck, had separated from the Servants who would become the main force for the singularity exploration. I thought we'd be able to meet again immediately. If I contact Chaldea...... I'll be able to pin down the coordinates of my current location, and I'll be able to detect the prana of the scattered Servants quickly. But. The bad luck thickens. There's no response even if I call out to Chaldea. "Senpai." Instead of Mashu's voice that should’ve sounded------

[A monster appears before you.]

"...... ......"

............To liken it to colors, it would be red and black. Filled with murderous intent and an appetite, a beast's roar sounds. This is, really bad. Which Mystic Code did I equip, I wonder. At least if I can use my Gandr, for the time being, one shot. And then, run with all my strength regardless of the result! ......But,  My sweat drops. My lips tremble to the lower jaw. Let's think. I want to think. As for whether the enemy will give me that time, it will be a gamble. Would this be an advantage or a disadvantage...

???: "----You there, are you alright. You should step back a little."

Choice 1: (Look back)

[You see a hooded swordsman. He faces the monster.]

Knight: "Haa------------!"

Choice 2: (Step back)

???: "Good kid. That will do."

[A hooded swordsman steps forward.]

Knight: "Fh------------!"

[He slays the monster, and it vanishes.]

Choice 1: (Breathe out)

Knight: "Such courage. Just now, you watched my attack without closing your eyes. You must have knowledge of the sword. Or rather, you must have survived quite a few bloodbaths...... No, this is no time to talk for long. I'm sorry."

Choice 2: "............Thank you, you saved me"

Knight: "You’re welcome. Do you have any injuries, brave young one. (1) To oppose, and glare back at the monsters of this land without fainting is no small feat. I’d like to hear more in detail, but...... Ahh, there’s no time."

Knight: "The flock of monsters, and the king leading it are drawing near. It would be difficult to act amicably."

[He pauses, and then smiles.]

Knight: "If you wish, shall we fight together? It appears you are a human who possesses fighting power. Perhaps you are a magician. Whatever the answer may be, it is not possible for you to be a novice at magic fights. The prana wrapped around your body, are Command Seals. Are you a Master? If so, do you have the experience of crossing swords with mysteries that surpass the knowledge of a magician------"

[More monsters come in.]

Knight: "......It is my time to shine. I apologize but there is no time. May I receive an answer."

Choice 1: Let's fight together Choice 2: It'd help on my end if that's the case!

Knight: "Thank you. Then, together------ let us put down the savage group of beasts!"

[Battle.]

Knight: "Alright, we cut our way through for the time being."

[He takes off his hood.]

Knight: "As I had analyzed, you seem to be a capable magician. I may not be very knowledgeable about the magic world, but at least, you possess the power to fight. I also mean this in the technical way, but...... In your heart. You possess a sword."

Choice: ........................

[You briefly remember a certain silhouetted Saber. When you return to reality, the knight looks at you with a worried face.]

Knight: "------You. What is the matter? Your eyesight just wandered; perhaps you consumed too much prana?"

Choice 1: Um...... Choice 2: I feel like you remind me of someone

[The knight smiles.]

Knight: "I believe this is the first time you and I have met, but I wonder. Judging by your clothing, you must be a human originally from the 20th century, or the early 21st century. You may have had a chance to meet me, but...... No, I don’t remember.

Oh, yes. More than that. You didn’t visit this land alone, did you? Then, you must have separated with your companions. Is that right?"

Choice 1: Yes

Knight: "I see. ......Yes, I understand."

Choice 2: Exactly!

Knight: "Haha. Good response."

Knight: "Right. Until you’re able to reunite with your companions, I’ll accompany you. It’s alright. You’ll find them soon."

[Fade to black. Back to Chaldea.]

Mordred:

"L I S T E N  H E R E !

Why’d you get lost without permission and wander around! It's not okay even if you come back in one piece. Next time, don't get lost and not tell me anything!"

Choice 1: Sorry!

Mordred: "......Geez."

Choice 2: I couldn't connect to Chaldea all of a sudden......

Mordred: "Oh yeah, Mashu did say something like that."

Mordred: "Uhhh...... Doesn't poor communication happen from time to time? Jumping across time and space, being able to communicate between Chaldea and the singularity in real time is, well, frankly amazing, but at the same time it's weak to things like abnormal magic and boundary fields, huh.

Hunting the leftovers of the singularity, I thought we could just leave that alone and it'd vanish. Is it surprisingly ‘that’? The anomalies get serious when they get to that level."

Mashu: "Yes, that's it. It looked like it was about to become a small singularity itself, so...... The swordsman Senpai encountered, may have been caught up in that abnormal situation."

Mordred: "Ah, the guy who saved Master. We didn't get to see his face...... He parted ways with Master right next to the meeting place, right?"

[Mordred pauses to think.]

Mordred: "But man, walking around alone in a place like that, it's a surprise he’s still alive. What was he?"

Mashu: "His name was, if I'm not mistaken......"

Choice 1: Come to think of it Choice 2: I might've not asked him?

Mordred: "So he ran off without giving his name? Hah! What a cocky guy...... That kind of pisses me off."

Mashu: "Uh, uhm------ Whether he’s a human or a stray Servant, he had amazing combat efficiency. To be able to exchange blows with a giant hostile creature like that. If I remember correctly...... It was a man in the form of a knight wearing a hood. Right, Senpai?"

Mordred: "Whaaa? A knight wearing a hood? Then, at the very least he's not a human from that time period."

Choice 1: Rather than a knight or a swordsman Choice 2: I have a feeling he looked like a prince

Mordred: "What's that mean."

Mashu: "I said this before, but the atmosphere of his equipment felt like everyone from the Round Table?"

Mordred: "The heck, so it’s us. ......Nah, I don't remember anyone wearing a hood. If you say 'wearing something', then Gareth wore a helmet. I don't think that Percival really had anything...... Did he wear a helmet when he got serious? Ah wait, no, was that Palamedes? ......No no, that was a helmet. No hood. Nope. Nothing like that in the Round Table. I mean, we did wear those while it was raining during expeditions."

Mashu: "I see..."

Mordred: "Master. That guy, what was his weapon?"

Choice 1: A sword of gold and silver Choice 2: If I recall, I couldn't see what he was holding at first...

[Mordred pauses.]

Mordred: "........................ No, that can't be."

Mashu: "??"

[Jekyll comes in.]

Jekyll: "Excuse me for a minute. Master. I confirmed the calculations concerning the position of the reyshift coordinates, and we’ve discovered a few concerning points. Ah, the one who actually discovered them was Mister Babbage. And he was looking for Miss Da Vinci. Um, she's......"

Mashu: "Ah, Mr Jekyll. Miss Da Vinci is supposed to be at the 2nd Research Lab."

Mordred: "We're having an important talk, don't come in and interfere, bean sprout! We didn’t call for you and Da Vinci isn't here either!" (2)

Jekyll: "Sorry, looks like you were in the middle of a discussion...... Wh, ow, ow!"

[Mordred hit Jekyll. Lighthearted music plays.]

Mordred: "Don't 'ow' me, I just nudged you a little bit. Geez, that's why you're a bean sprout."

Jekyll: "No, that one was rather...... O-Oh no, it's nothing. It was nothing. Hahaha."

[Fade to black. Now, at the corridors of Chaldea with Arash.]

Arash: "Oh, Guda. Good, good. You came back perfectly safe and sound, I see. Apparently you reyshifted to destroy a miniature singularity, or something like that. Yeah, I heard. Sorry I couldn't help out. Ah, well, promise me you'll take me next time, okay? If I'm here you'll never get lost again. I have good eyes, after all."

Choice 1: I mean, I did get lost but Choice 2: It was an accident!

Arash: "Haha, okay. Er, it's not like I was gonna yell at you, but...... Okay, since we're here, tell me about it. Hearing Master's tales of your travels isn't a bad thing once in a while. If I can, I'd like to hear from you directly. Who that person you met was."

[Fade to black.]

Arash: "------------."

[He pauses, frowning for one moment.]

Arash: "......Just as I thought. You met that guy, huh. I see now. I wonder what we call this kind of thing, fate, or something else. I thought he wouldn't be in the Throne of Heroes, but. Wait, no. He isn't. How about it?"

Choice 1: Huh, huh? Choice 2: Arash, what are you talking about?

Arash: "Sorry, it was difficult to understand, wasn't it. I apologize Master. How do I even say this. Hmm...... ...... ...... Eh, things like that can happen. Yeah, yeah. Thanks to that, I think I can drink good wine tonight! Hahahaha. That guy, he's still out there fighting somewhere!"

Choice 1: That doesn't! Choice 2: Explain anything!

Arash: "Haha! Come on, don't say that! Oh man, but, heh~. That guy, huh......"

Choice 1: Arash! Choice 2: (Stare at him in silence)

Arash: "......O, Oh. Nah. Well, it's that! You can meet him if there's a reason, it's like that!"

[Guda pokes him a few times.]

Arash: "No. Wait. Stop poking me in the back without a word. It doesn't hurt, but, for some reason, I feel like I did something bad."

[Proto Cu Chulainn shows up.]

Cu Chulainn: "’Ey, what's up, Arash. (3) Did you start a drinking party in the middle of the corridor? Wait, Master's here too. What's wrong?"

Arash: "Oh, the Child of Light! 'What's wrong', you say. Haha, it's something that might kind of relate to you! The Pharaoh and the Valkyrie and the alchemist, well, it's better if you keep it a secret from them!"

Cu Chulainn: "------------------Hah?"

[Fade to black. Transition to a grassy field at night, where the hooded knight is standing alone.]

Knight: "............ I thought this time would be the sign of a bad omen, but...... There is neither L's miasma, nor R's lingering scent. This is progressing rather badly. It cannot be helped. I will search, one by one. ...... ...... Aah, it is alright, Merlin. I will accomplish my goal one day, and return to my rightful place. Eventually, without fail."

---

[Part 2]

---

(1) Arthur calls Gudao “brave young man” (勇気ある少年) and Gudako “brave young lady” (勇気あるお嬢さん). I just go for gender neutral terms to make things easier for me.

(2) I stared at this a thousand times and I still don't accurately know what Mordred's trying to say here. Is she saying "even if you keep calling for Da Vinci she won't show up, she isn't here" or is she saying "you're not invited in this super important talk, and Da Vinci isn't here anyway"?

(3) Proto Cu calls Arash "アーラシュの旦那" (Arash no danna), which is frankly impossible to convey in English for me (emphasis on me, maybe in the hands of someone else this can work), so I just ignored it in English.

[dyker-farmer]

Ok this was supposed to be a quick draw and a description to go with, that blew into a full chapter and now it's also on Ao3 SO happy reading ig idk

I never see Shane works that don't go all in for romance nor explore the more realistic ugly parts of recovery, and I kind of crave That TM. So let me have at it too with the self-insert whump mumbo jumbo; no romo version.

Set post-8 hearts event, Farmer Uidelsib is two years or so in, full house built and married to Emily. They/them pronouns, same as me.

Diverges from then on, Shane-centric from an outside POV for the most part.

[[MORE]]

Take that can away if you can.

Gulp it down. Chapter 1/2/3/4

There's a few to-know to survive life in society, in the valley; there's no good way to comment on the age nor weight of both resident housewives, you can't say no to Evelyn's homemade cookies- and why would you, you fool-, you do not fight at the Saloon or you'll get no cheese anymore on your pizza and only sparkling water for drinks, and-

And you don't mess with Shane's alcohol related ritual.

Except I did, that night, because you do that, when your two-years long friendship with the guy taught you better than letting his impulses overcome yours, when your buddy is trying to recover from teenage long-lasting into early adulthood, trauma-enhanced heavy addiction, and you know, you know tomorrow he'll feel like absolute shit and question his right to therapy the moment he'll stop his pounding skull from splitting. Wonders what a three-dosage paracetamol can do. 

At least he doesn't drink it out anymore.

So yeah, when you're in my shoes, you get that Joja store-bought crap out of Shane's hand, and you brace yourself for the incoming lash out.

The first fractions of seconds are always those to look closely into most. It's only a glimpse, but before the scowl slips on like a well-worn boxing glove ready to strike, there is always this open page I learned I needed to decipher as quick as I could.

Tonight, it's heartbreaking. When I peck his forehead- doting big sibling habits die hard, even when you're actually the youngest of the pair- the eyes I catch looking at me are so confused and bare of any emotion, except for the sorrow that goes beer-soaked tears, it pangs. I get used to the breakdowns, working in the fields I do when I'm off the farm's, but it's not the same when it's a friend.

When I straighten back, offensive beverage in hand, it's already gone in a flinch, away from the empty space behind the chair and onto the table, as he snarls.

"Wha- giv'me back- 's mine!" I don't know how much he drunk before he met up with me, but from the slurring, it's a Lot. A season and a half into sobriety. That's harsh.

I ignore him and walk behind him, pondering where to put the beer for now.

"Y-you can't just do that! It's my booze I got with m'money, not some- who d'you think you are?-" He sputters indignantly, angry tears fewer than the sad ones but still there. He tries to turn around and grab behind his back, but the wild movement is way off and only gets the chair to nearly topples down. I rush in time to stabilize it, and profit off the moment to set a strong hand on his shoulder.

"I can just do that, 'cus it's my house I got with my money, and I think I'm your pal who knows when you've had enough. Dude, I trust you to be an adult, but minutes before, you were already so torched I had to keep your neck upright so you didn't faceplant into the table, and you nearly just kissed my floor good evening. Not to mention you clung to my arms the whole way from the little entry stairs to the kitchen because, quoting, 'If I don't I'll fall in the hole and won't get up'."

I turn to the fridge again, going to open it, before I think better of it. Likely enough, we'll both forget it was there in the first place, it'll stink up my fridge- it's Joja's- and it'll be money out of Shane's pocket for nothing. I set it on the counter, with the rest of the pack. He'll put it to cool down when he's back to Marnie's. Or he won't, probably. 

That's not a worry for now.

When I caught up with him, it was a few feet below my doorstep; he'd probably slipped up trying to climb the three steps up to it, and settled for it. He was nursing that same can, muttering to himself, head down, curled up on himself. Except for that leg sticked out, he probably hurt it when he fell, I'll have to look at that and work on it if it's too swollen. Hopefully that'll spare us from a visit to Harvey's.

Bad memories. Not mine, and it's warm and not raining outside, but. Déjà-vu.

Anyways, he looked the picture of "help I've fallen and I can't get up- and even if I can I won't because Fuck You", and it's been a hassle to have him cooperate. But when I asked if he wanted to leave, he shook his head with a fervor no somnolent drunk should have. That resulted in a lovely streak of vomit down the wall right next to the door. That's also for later. If Eryza doesn't lap it up. Ew. This cat's never predictable.

Now, he's staring at his hands, sitting at my table, contemplating something too far down for me to see- or maybe just zoning out with a sleeping brain. Then he mumbles. "Sorry."

I get back to the table and sit at arm's length across of him. "Nah, 's okay. I don't mind being a helping hand or touchy-feely, must be the frog-eater in me. Not for the helping part." I'd chuckle but my quip falls on deaf ears.

I go to put my hand over his. When he doesn't blink at it, I try and shake a reply out of him, gently. He startles and hawkeyes our joined fingers. When he's finally looking at me, I raise a single eyebrow. He doesn't say anything, but when he pulls back his arm, I let him. We both straighten up, and it's hard to keep up the eye contact.

"So…" There's a heavy air on us. Suddenly, like the last year didn't happen, we're sitting a stride away of each other, and yet it feels like he's all the way back to the forest, looking down at waves.

"Do you want me to do something?" I bend myself a little closer to him, not moving otherwise.

He puts his head in his hands, shivering. Can't tell if it's the AC or his system kicking the alcohol out, or itself, in stress. I think I hear something, but it might as just be his shuddering breath.

"Shane" I insist, voice level, not pressing. "I need words. I want to help, I truly don't mind, but I need words to know what to do." He's never shown signs of going nonverbal before. If he does, I'll improvise. Until then… I need words.

Time ticks slowly as we wait. Then, with great effort and deep fatigue, he drags his palms up from under his nose to his temple, spreading some snot and wet tears across his face from his scrunched shut eyes. Lips trembling but finally showing, that attempt to let out a sound that's not too garbled. He coughs, sniffles a bit, breathe in again, sounding like a sick dog, and blows through gritted teeth before his jaws go slack. Eyes still closed, he whispers, and I have to lower myself some more toward his crouched form to catch it.

"Can I get something to drink…?" His voice is hoarse.

The demand could be comical, if we were into sour humor. And we usually are. But right now, we're not finding the joke in the lines. I stand silently, and as I walk to the fridge again, I let my hand brush his shoulder- same spot as before.

I take a minute to choose, look into the pantry. When I'm back at the table with my items of choice, he's still sitting there, his cheek is cushioned on his arms, face hidden from view. His shoulder, except for the occasional tremor, rise and fall in rythm with his snores. Breaks my heart to interrupt that, but not really. Hangovers are mean bitches with the sharpest nail art on the blackest of boards.

"Psst, dude. C'mon." I rustle his hair backward. He hates when I do that, says it tickles, and it makes him sneeze. So I obligatory do it once a day if I can. Let's say today's my late quota for the last four days I haven't seen him.

He gruffly tells me to kindly refrain from such pleasantries, and raise bleary eyes back up at the table. I can also guess he tried to bat a hand at me, but his coordination is off and he slaps himself lightly on the ear. Then he glares bewildered at his hand for a few seconds, obviously insulted. I profit of this moment to grab a small basin from under the sink, on second thought.

When he brings his attention back to me, I'm sitting again. Between us, a jug of fresh milk from this morning, a small sack of peppers, and a juice carafe sit aside a green glass bottle. There's also some bread, mostly for me to munch on. Because, hmmm dough. He squints at it all, especially at the bottle. Probably trying to read the label.

"Yeah no, didn't get you one of my best wine, not sorry."

"Hot pepper… juice?" He looks at the actual peppers next to it. "With actual peppers?" And then I get the squint too.

"Hmph, I know you like your elongated hell tomatoes, man, what can i say."

At that, a feeble snort.

I decide that it is the highlight victory of my soirée.

"Welp, have at it." I gesture to the half-liter liquor glass right by his left.

He fumbles with the drinks and some splashes around, but I lay back on my chair, arms crossed, letting him do his thing. While I don't hold back from growing downright doting on him when I got to- or even when I don't- I don't see how more devotion right now would be not smothering. He can break my fancy glass cups if he wants and spill my milk, so long he doesn't cut himself or cry over it.

Now, you could be thinking that plain water would have done the trick just fine, if not better, in rehydrating him. Here's the thing, though; going from booze to tasteless liquid, for Shane, that's a sure way to puking his heart out. And I'd rather not have us deal with an acid bile throat burn on top of near alcohol poisoning. Sorry to not spare you the squeamish details, but his oesophagus is pretty sensitive ever since that stomach pumping back at the clinic. Hot fiery hell fruits he can do just fine, with relative moderation and hydratation- hence the milk and juice- but liquor bursting its way back from his guts? Nuh uh. 

It had taken lots of coaxing, but he'd explained the plain tastes, or lackthereof, were very hard for him to deal with, especially when contrasting with strong ones like beers and whiskeys. I'd shackle it to gustative hypostimulation, but I don't know enough about him that way to say. He'd said sparkling water was a good compromise.

But I don't have sparkling water, because I do not like suffering.

I might buy a pack for when he visits though.

And I do know a handful about him already. Shackle that to perceptiveness and a stubborn streak on top of a year and so long camaraderie.

And having a certain uncontrollable fear of failing to act quick the next time coped with by accumulating information and patterns compulsively.

I shake my head to focus on the present again. He's switched from juices to soaking bread in milk to eat it small portion after small portion. He pauses in mid-bite when he catches me staring. He's still hunched on himself and red-faced and a tad bloated. His cheeks are drying and he's blown his nose. I smile calmly. Worst of the storm passed, unless I screw up and blow it.

"Ywou wan' chom'?" He offers a dripping piece of bread. In moments like this, when he's sobering but not quite, the resemblance with Jas are unmistakable. The glint in his reddened eyes that open wide, and his blank-but-not-quite wondering expression, it's all here to paint a scrutinizing but vulnerable picture of tired but bright minds.

"Nah thanks. You done with that milk?"

"...Sure." He eyes it, wary. He knows where this is going, and he doesn't like it. I take the drink off the table, and his gaze follows my movement until I bring it to my lips.

He frowns. A silent warning. 

And as I lock onto him with a dead stare, not blinking a millisecond, I down the rest of the 2 liters jug in three, five gulps. I even take the time to lick my new mustache away, and close my mouth with a click of my tongue.

His expression is the macabre marriage of beffudled horror and pure affliction, disgust if you will. The face of someone who doesn't hate milk, but has grown out of it enough to not be able to live off the stuff like the brave souls I'm apart of. And probably with reason, as I actually can't, like most 20+ years old, digest the liquid in large amount. But I smile like a smug cat, perfectly content.

Cats really can't digest milk once adults, it's all social mythos.

We silently judge and fuck with each other like that for a while more, as more time passes, until the room's elephant gets it all humid with its prancing around. Enough that tears and nervous sweats start again, for no apparent reasons but the residual anxiety from the whole chain of events that led to this.

"I think we should talk about this."

--- to be continued.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Don't get excited or anything Janis: only talking to you to look busy Jimmy: steal my job an' all or just my lines? Jimmy: so proud me Janis: technically I got you fired from that one Janis: and not to get ahead in the java game myself so Jimmy: fucked my future as a recruiter that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: 💔 Janis: what can I say? Janis: your chat has left a lot to be desired from the start Janis: though I'd happily pick up a CG shift now, nothing to do with your skillz or lack thereof Jimmy: You could've started this one with 'oi Jim don't put persuasive on the CV' and have done, mate but here we still are pissing about Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: use your head and pick up a shift where Pete works now not where he burned his bridges if you want the good chat, girl Janis: Yeah 'cos you want me interrupting your bromance time more than I already do Janis: reverse psychology won't work on me either, boy Jimmy: Tell it to the lad who's rewriting a birthday classic in your honor 'cause that ain't me, babe Jimmy: Still got it bad after all this time he has 💘 Jimmy: #thejulieteffect Janis: God, Gracie didn't slip him an invite as a tip, did she Janis: will have to maim my face to avoid any further association with her, like Jimmy: Might've Jimmy: Much as we throw Shona on that Gracie sized bullet she's nowt but persistent Janis: Desperate is the word Janis: invite half the town, why not Janis: no girl needs that many 'idk you really so I got you a bath set' gifts Jimmy: Alright, alright I'll take yours back to the shop Jimmy: Calm down Janis: bung it her way Janis: still might get some 'gratitude' 🤞 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: cool so it's a plan Janis: you distract, I'll make myself scarce Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: it's not known to be challenging Janis: but we have just discussed your shortcomings too so yeah Janis: maybe baby Jimmy: having her about when I ain't being paid is proper challenging Jimmy: you wanna sweeten the deal, rich girl Janis: Hmm, what you got in mind? Jimmy: we both make ourselves scarce Jimmy: I reckon that's a better plan Janis: maybe ain't earned persuasive still but Janis: you can tick off problem solver Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: ain't gonna be a problem if have the dickheads in town have an invite to your gaff Jimmy: slip away easy through that #opendoor Jimmy: half* Janis: you forget I'm 1 outta 2 guests of honour Janis: sadly, you are the only one on that score Jimmy: Nah Jimmy: nobody but Pete's coming for you, babe and we can slip him a note ahead of time Janis: You really know how to make a girl feel special, huh 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: is it worth me coming to you Janis: how long you got left on Jimmy: both feeling special now Jimmy: how #goals Janis: well you know Janis: hit up the CG already and the replacements aren't much Jimmy: 💔 for 'em and you Janis: don't look too 😢 for me when I show Janis: not #goals Jimmy: Drying my eyes on my apron as we speak, like Janis: need your 😎 Jimmy: that's alright til the fans wanna see my 😍 Janis: who are you kidding, Doris can't see in front of her face Janis: it's the accent Jimmy: she can see my 🍆 Jimmy: keeps her coming back Janis: please don't make me laugh Jimmy: sexual harassment is no laughing matter, dickhead Jimmy: she's a menace 👵🚫 Janis: you know you're asking for it, babe Janis: made your granny love no secret Jimmy: when I'm not 😢 over you I'm 🤤 over her Jimmy: busted Janis: can't fool me Janis: know what you're like far too well tbh Jimmy: see right through me you Jimmy: only gonna get more of a bighead the older you get, aren't you? Janis: don't plan on changing Janis: not that kind of birthday girl Jimmy: 👍 Janis: dunno why she's bothering Janis: 'less she can get Pete to fake marry her she ain't even competing Jimmy: shut up, he'd get a decent amount of song writing material outta that Jimmy: enough to consider it Jimmy: don't be giving ideas like that out for nowt Janis: so you're saying recruiters out for you but pimp/band manager is my calling Janis: cheers, keep it in mind Jimmy: can't be living off mummy and daddy forever, babe Jimmy: time's running out Janis: they're running out of kids who wanna be around them, more like Janis: you know they don't wanna be left just them and Gracie Jimmy: Give 'em the heads up and they'll have time to have a load more Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: 💸💸💸 Janis: if they do, not me Janis: and all the others Janis: splitting it 10 ways makes it less impressive Jimmy: actually 💔 Janis: I know Janis: babysitting is your primary gig Janis: soz, like Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: Poor, poor boy Janis: have to stick with your two Jimmy: You still ain't taken the 🐶 off me yet so it's 3 Janis: if you put 'dog dad' in your bio it's over Jimmy: saved that 💎 for the dating apps Janis: fairplay Janis: go over well with that crowd Jimmy: 🐶💕 Jimmy: gotta earn her keep somehow Janis: subtle Janis: what do you want, like Jimmy: other than 🐶💀 Janis: you love her, shut up Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you love her Janis: I know what I've 👀 Janis: and I've got plenty of blackmail evidence for when this all goes tits Jimmy: I know how to fake it Jimmy: tah for all the practise Janis: mhmm, 'cos you did such a top job at that Jimmy: 🥇 me Janis: Sure thing babe Janis: best bae ever Janis: fake enough for you? Jimmy: might be if you didn't mean every word Janis: Idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: and you're on your way here, deny it Janis: I can't deny I'm en-route Janis: but that's like 96% because I need to hide Janis: no funny business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: only thirsty for a fruit juice Janis: I ain't a toddler Janis: and obviously, I ain't looking for you to serve me either 🤷 Jimmy: you ain't a coffee drinker and we don't serve booze, pisshead Janis: 1. I'm gonna subtly wait for Pete to be free 2. we'll think of something Jimmy: 1. enjoy helping him close 2. he won't be thinking of owt when he's this hungover so enjoy doing that yourself an' all Janis: 🙄🙄 Janis: not entirely sure you barista boys are worth the hassle Jimmy: on you go then Jimmy: find a barman and solve all your problems Janis: no tah Janis: can't be going there Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: it'd be like you cracking on with a miner Janis: assume your granddad was a miner Jimmy: be like me having a go on a 👻 Janis: can make that happen Janis: that kinda cool girlfriend, obvs Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: find out the equipment Janis: not talking 🍆🤖s Jimmy: so I'll meet you in the cemetery or what? Jimmy: #datenight Janis: Such an emo Janis: called it and you out from day one Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You reckoned I wanted to suck Alex Turner's ballsack Jimmy: Indie and emo are different genres, mate Janis: It's all fringes and marding really, isn't it, mate Janis: point is, ghosts are everywhere Janis: have as much if not more luck in any house in this shithole of a town Jimmy: proper poetic you Jimmy: I smell a lyrical collab with your bf Janis: nah Janis: we both know muse is about as good as I got Jimmy: but there's no need to pass that along to Pete and have him 💔 Janis: Shut up Janis: he loves me just the way I am, and YOU'RE just jealous Jimmy: #duh Janis: if I wanted that kind of guilt-trip, I'd have stayed there Jimmy: The orchestra is raring to go here Jimmy: What more do you want? Janis: you Janis: dickhead Jimmy: I'm yours, dickhead Janis: Good Janis: I need you, like Jimmy: We don't need to be here, either of us Janis: I can't Janis: I can't be anywhere near that fucking party tomorrow Janis: it's not just because it's the usual bullshit family function either, like Janis: just Janis: nah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: good thing I have a better idea Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Nowt for you to do but come with me Janis: Alright Janis: obviously Janis: never gonna have better plans or better company 'round here so Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: come here and we'll go from there Janis: I am Janis: I'd almost forgot how long this bus took Janis: been that long, like Jimmy: you should be live tweeting Jimmy: fans love a throwback Janis: well, we both know what I should really be doing Janis: but ain't really feeling it and this bus driver is new Jimmy: 🤞 our top bloke ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: weren't meant to be part of the pact, like Janis: if he was on the outs, I'd have 💀 him at the wheel ages ago Janis: just that good Janis: call me the eternal optimist Jimmy: 🌹 by any other name Janis: peak romance always Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: you ain't seen nowt yet birthday girl Janis: Idiot Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do I need to bring anything Janis: not fishing for clues or nowt but could be relevant Jimmy: bring whatever you would to fuck off for a day Jimmy: we ain't coming back til its over Janis: okay Janis: just us? Jimmy: you can bring the dog if you want Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I draw the line at Pete's puppy dog eyes though Janis: 💔 Jimmy: You'll live and he's half 💀 so there ain't no challenge in smacking him down Janis: Hot Jimmy: 😏 Janis: is that my surprise? Jimmy: Do you want that to be your surprise? Janis: Yeah, I'm gonna be an accessory by admission Janis: think on, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Your man of mystery bit is very unhelpful sometimes Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: soz you can't handle being kept on your toes Janis: oh please Jimmy: What? Janis: I could run circles around you in my sleep Jimmy: go on then Janis: maybe Janis: if the plans allow time Jimmy: maybe I'll make time if it's that important to you to prove yourself, Juliet Janis: I know I don't need to prove myself to you Jimmy: 👌 Janis: fuck off Janis: you love me Jimmy: You're alright, for a rich girl Janis: I'm the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt babe Janis: #duh Jimmy: #youknowthedrill Janis: town is finally in sight Janis: jesus Jimmy: the new driver ain't winning me over 💔 for him Jimmy: sort it out knobhead Jimmy: 🎅 will get there before his bus, like Janis: N'awh Janis: you missed me? Jimmy: for a sec or two Jimmy: not owt to get a big head over Janis: have to work on that then, won't I Jimmy: hate for you to be bored while you're waiting for Pete to make you a drink Jimmy: gotta give you something to do Jimmy: it'll take him ages longer than two secs Janis: weird brag, mate Janis: usually the other way 'round but admire the honesty 😂 Jimmy: been a bit since I've made shit weird Jimmy: nice to know you've missed it Janis: you know Janis: keeps things interesting, you do Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: part of the deal, like Janis: I'll renew your contract Janis: 👌 job Jimmy: tah Jimmy: might take you off the trial period for a bit Jimmy: see how you go Janis: 😏 Janis: might not hand in my notice Jimmy: won't have to get a replacement in then Janis: 💔 Janis: know how you love that Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: keep disappointing me, you Janis: psh Jimmy: It's alright, well used to it, me Jimmy: nowt I can't handle Janis: We'll put that theory to the test when I get there Janis: 5 mins Jimmy: good Janis: thanks Janis: by the way Jimmy: you ain't opened your bath shit yet Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I've got to work on my so real surprise/grattitude some time, babe Janis: want me to fake it when I'm there Janis: alright Jimmy: that top job you reckoned I did faking it goes double for you, girl Jimmy: I ain't helping Pete close so you've got more time to piss about having a go Janis: Not how I remember it, boy Jimmy: scroll back through all your feeds Jimmy: I'll hang on Janis: admitting you're more #basic Janis: cute Jimmy: surprise! 🎉 Jimmy: happy birthday Janis: 😍😋 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: love you Jimmy: I love you Janis: I really do Jimmy: Is it my turn to act surprised or what? Janis: You can Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: ages after I thought we'd run out Janis: just that good, baby Jimmy: I'll give you a few minutes Jimmy: deffo worth that Janis: and so generous Janis: 😩 Jimmy: too northern for that shit Janis: Nah Janis: this place has changed you Janis: 🍀💀 Jimmy: If owt's changed take your share of the blame Jimmy: 💕🔪💀 Janis: alright Janis: I ruined your life Janis: do something about it

[sweethomelima]

Text || Samcedes

Mercy: Sam, hey its Mercedes

Mercy: Oh if this is the wrong number Sorry.

Sam: No, I told you I didn't change it

Mercy: No this isn't Sam, or no it is Sam because I didn't change it?

Sam: this is Sam

Sam: I didn't change my number

Sam: always been here.

Mercy: Well okay hi. Hope you had a good day today.

Mercy: First I wanted to thank you for not acting weird or anything last night. SJ had fun talking Marvel with you.

Sam: Yeah, you too!

Sam: I was kind of in my element there

Sam: I could've fielded DC too

Mercy: I am sure he would have given you a run for your money, he loves the Flash and Batman.

Mercy: So we are leaving tomorrow and I wanted to see if you had the papers, and if you wanted to see him again before we left.

Sam: I am an expert in Batman!

Sam: Already?

Mercy: Well he will be glad to hear that.

Mercy: Our lives are in L.A. Sam.

Sam: I have them

Sam: I didn't sign them yet

Sam: I'm still reading them

Mercy: Sam there is nothing there that would cause any issues. It's just a divorce.

Sam: My mom said never to sign something you haven't read

Mercy: Okay I understand that

Sam: Just gonna take me awhile.

Sam: idk how long

Mercy: Sam what do I have to do to get you to just sign them now?

Sam: I need to read them. I said that

Mercy: Sam I know if I leave here without them they will never get signed. Why are you holding on so tight to something that was over years ago? Its a divorce stating what's yours is yours and what's mines is mines, simple to the point.

Sam: I just said I wanna read them

Sam: that's it

Mercy: And you also said you don't know how long it will take you to read like 6 pages. I have to go, I can't be here for a long time.

Sam: we both know I'm not very smart

Mercy: That's a lie.

Mercy: You are smarter than you give yourself credit for.

Sam: Still can't read very well

Sam: so I can't tell you how long it'll be

Sam: I have to do other things too, like cleaning my apartment and go to the gym

Mercy: You can read just fine Sam and we both know that.

Mercy: Okay now I know you are playing games.

Sam: it does take me extra time. That's not a lie.

Mercy: I know that Sam, but cleaning your apartment? Really?

Sam: It's very dirty

Mercy: I bet it is

Mercy: I need you to work with me here(edited)

Sam: I am.

Sam: I'm going to read them! I already started!

Mercy: Fine.

Mercy: Soooo we didn't get to talk about you, how is your family?

Sam: Doing well, you know.

Sam: The kids are almost done with high school which makes me feel old but

Mercy: You are Sold

Sam: Don't remind meeeee

Mercy: How is your mom? I have been meaning to talk to her but I know she is might hate me.

Sam: For going to LA?

Sam: I don't think she does

Sam: she always said I should apologize for not going with you haha

Mercy: For leaving, for not telling her about SJ, even if you didn't believe it she would have.

Sam: Yeah, well. She doesn't know about him

Sam: Like I didn't

Mercy: You didn't tell her?

Sam: I've been a little busy trying to come to terms with it myself

Mercy: Maybe I should just go and let you mail it to me.

Sam: If that's your choice.

Mercy: Fine!

Sam: Great.

Sam: I'll send them

Sam: When do you need them?

Sam: I'll get them to you then.

Mercy: Monday

Sam: And when are you getting married?

Mercy: You don't get to know that.

Sam: Okay.

Sam: See, I'm trying to make sure I have them to you when you need them

Sam: I want to have time to think about it.

Mercy: What is there to think about Samuel?

Sam: A lot.

Sam: like maybe I should get to see SJ.

Sam: so maybe we need a custody thing.

Sam: I don't know

Mercy: SO NOW YOU WANT TO KNOW YOUR SON? AFTER YOU HAD 8 YEARS?

Sam: I JUST FOUND OUT

Sam: THIS SHIT YOU'RE PULLING ISN'T CUTE

Mercy: That stuff I'm pulling? I wrote you and told you that I was pregnant, that you should just swallow your damn pride and come to me, and you sent back divorce papers, so don't get me started on that one.

Sam: You sent ME divorce papers!

Sam: and no letter

Sam: Jesus Christ, is this what you think is fun now?

Sam: Fucking with some townie loser you used be with?

Mercy: Are you serious right now?

Mercy: Like I can't tell if you are playing with me right now.

Sam: I'm very serious. It's not funny.

Mercy: Then stop playing around and be serious. I got your papers, which is why I find it funny that you never signed it. I get you were bitter but to abandon your pregnant wife?

Mercy: I always thought you were better than that.

Sam: I didn't do ANY of that

Sam: I mean, the last part happened inadvertently but I didn't send anything! Or get anything other than some divorce papers which, yes, I did not sign.

Mercy: My manager handed me the papers they were addressed to me, sent from you.

Sam: if I sent them, don't you think I'd have signed them first

Mercy: Sometimes you are scatterbrained.

Sam: I think you sent me divorce papers when you found out you were pregnant because you didn't think I was ready or something

Sam: I was

Mercy: Wow, for the record Sam, I thought you would be an amazing father. Ima gonna go.

Sam: Great

Mercy: It was nice seeing you Sam, if you could tell your parents before tomorrow about YOUR SON that would be great since I will let him meet them before I leave Lima for good.

Sam: How am I supposed to explain an eight year old I JUST found out about and how the fuck I missed that?

Mercy: Figure it out. I had too.

Sam: You keep acting like I knew.

Sam: Like you don't know me well enough to know I could never not step in.

Mercy: I told you Sam, I put that on everything, I don't know what happened, if you blocked it out, if you are trying to justify not being here by saying I didn't but I know my truth.

Mercy: I may not have told the world I have a child, because by the time I got on the scene and really started making a name for myself he was 2 and I didn't want that life for him, so I never said anything to maintain some privacy in my life. But you, I told you.

Sam: You didn't.

Sam: This isn't funny.

Mercy: No its not funny not at all.

Mercy: You really didn't know? Not in all these years? Because I swear to you I sent you that letter telling you about him.

Sam: I didn't get a letter.

Sam: Just divorce papers.

Mercy: This makes no sense

Sam: Hey, were on the same page for once

Mercy: Sam I promise you I sent you the letter, and then I got divorce papers in return

Sam: and I didn't send them.

Sam: if there was a letter, I'd have been there

Sam: could have called

Mercy: Call the man who refused to pick up his life and move with me for my dream?

Mercy: I couldn't call you, it hurt too much

Sam: You could have come back when you weren't recording.

Sam: I have a life here, Mercy.

Mercy: Come back to a man who didn't want me.

Mercy: I know that Sam, but I had a future there.

Sam: I did want you

Sam: I've always wanted you

Mercy: I guess it doesn't matter now does it?

Sam: Yeah

Sam: Your whole story is fucking me up

Sam: I don't get how this became my fault?

Mercy: I asked you to come with me Sam, I told you I wanted us to be together, I gave you the ticket to come. You didn't.

Sam: I said the same thing, but you didn't like my way

Mercy: I was scared, scared if I stayed in Lima, even part time, that I would lose myself.

Sam: Yeah

Mercy: I am trying to be honest with you. I thought you would just come when you were ready

Sam: I'm not ready

Sam: I know you and probably everyone else from glee "outgrew" Lima

Sam: I still haven't.

Mercy: I know. It's why I had to move on Sam, and you had to find someone who wanted the same things you do. You deserved that.

Sam: I never wanted anyone else

Mercy: Sam I just

Mercy: Sam I want you to be happy

Sam: Yeah

Sam: I said I'll send them

Mercy: Send what?

Mercy: Oh I wasn't even thinking about thing right now

Sam: I'm just saying. You want to leave again and I'm not stopping you

Mercy: I know you aren't. You moved on too.

Sam: I didn't.

Mercy: You did. You can say you didn't but the truth is if you didn't move on we would still be together.

Sam: because I didn't go to LA?

Sam: Why was I the only one who had to give something up

Mercy: You weren't! I had to give up you! SJ had to give up a father! You aren't the only one who lost something Sam, I lost you.

Sam: yeah, I lost you and him too.

Mercy: You can have a relationship with him if you want.

Sam: And so will your fiancé

Mercy: He's not a bad guy.

Sam: Hey, I never said he was

Mercy: Just thought you should know

Sam: I don't care about him

Sam: [ five minutes later ] No, we both know that's a lie. I hate him

Mercy: Why do you hate him?

Sam: You'll know exactly why if you stop and think for a second

Mercy: Because of SJ

Sam: Not Just

Mercy: What do you want from me Sam?

Sam: Do I need to say it!

Mercy: Well I certainly don't know

Sam: You.

Mercy:-[Deleted] Sam don't do this.

Mercy:-[Deleted] I just got over you...

[five minutes later]

Mercy: I can stay for a few more days so you can spend time with SJ.

Sam: Yeah, maybe we can figure out how to tell my mom lol

Mercy: I'm gonna let you do that one

Sam: No help?

Mercy: Fine

Sam: I doubt she'll buy the truth

Sam: Which you apparently don't buy either.

Mercy: Why wouldn't I tell you?

Sam: I don't know!

Mercy: I don't wanna go back around in a circle like this.

Sam: I just wanted to know why you didn't tell me

Mercy: And I keep telling you that I did. I wrote you I felt if I called you I would break down and a letter was safer...

Sam: I didn't get a letter!

Sam: I don't know why you don't believe me

Mercy: I don't know why you don't believe me.

Sam: Because I only got the papers you sent me.

Mercy: The papers I sent back to you

Sam: Right because I sent you unsigned papers

Sam: I thought you agreed I wasn't dumb lol

Mercy: I don't know what to tell you.

Sam: Okay

Mercy: So where does that leave us Sam?

Sam: Not where I want to be

Mercy: when are you free?

Sam: i'm free now

Mercy: I was going to take SJ to the Zoo, you can come with us.

Sam: I'm always up for being with you

Sam: And SJ. Really hoping he'll like me lol

Mercy: SJ loves you he's still talking about you. Just so you know going to a Zoo or park with me is often... crazy I wanna say.

Sam: Good.

Sam: is it bad I want him to like me more than your fiancé?

Sam: Probably not. I'm his father.

Sam: You think I don't remember how you get?

Mercy: it's not bad Sam, SJ is your son of course you want him to like you

Mercy: He will like you just fine.

Mercy: I mean it's been years

Sam: Hopefully.

Sam: And maybe I'll have to come to LA and see him.

Sam: I remember everything about you

[Mercy:Deleted] So you will go to L.A. for th-

Mercy: yeah maybe.

Mercy: I will have the car pick you up unless you just wanna meet us there

Sam: Whatever works for you.

Mercy: You gonna be okay being driven around in a town car?

Sam: Unless you're gonna let me pick up you two in my old truck?

Mercy: Soooo if I tell you something you gotta keep it secret

Sam: Now I'm curious

Mercy: My driver is my bodyguard, under my contract I can't go anywhere without him.

Sam: Are you saying I'm not able to protect you?

Mercy: Not at all its just in my contract

Sam: Sneak off

Mercy: Yeah I get fined for that

Mercy: He won't bother us, you won't even know he's there

Sam: I don't know if I believe that but!

Mercy: But?!...

Sam: But I'm good

Mercy: You gotta be clear babe you coming with?

Sam: Babe?

Sam: I'll meet you there

Mercy: What? Why did you call me Babe?

Mercy: Okay

Sam: You called me babe and I was questioning it

Mercy: I did?

Mercy: Oh I did, I'm sorry

Sam: It's fine

Mercy: We will see you there.

Mercy: SJ wants me to wear my "Spidermom" because he is wearing his, if you want to wear Spiderman you can

Sam: I got you

[meanderfall]

//tornadoes thru ur window, completely shattering the glass: for the writer meme, 5 - 6 - 8 - 10 - 15 - 21 - 25 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 34 - 36 - 39 - 45 - 47 - 48 - 49 - aaaand 50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you're like, "okay, i'll write you down u little fucker"? ALSO IM AWARE THIS IS A LOT, LMAOOO

LDJF;KFGSKGF ADRI MY LOVE, MY WIFE, MY KNIGHT, MY SUN AND MOON, THANK YOU OMG, I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR A NOVEL OF AN ANSWER LMAO

5.     How much writing do you get done on an average day?

LMAO I ACTUALLY HAVE THIS CALCULATED PER HOUR just bc that’s how long my train ride is. So I can do about 400-500 words in 50~ minutes.anyway tbh, I write almost never, but when I do, I try to get around 1000 words done??? that’s usually when i lose steam too. (though i guess if i did 500 word spurts instead throughout the day, i’d get more done) (TO CLARIFY, the only reason it’s so much is bc i only write when I know /exactly/ what the scene is gonna be and im motivated. if u sat my ass down in front of a computer each day and told me to write, I’d probably only get 100 in two hours, less even.)

6.     Single or multiple POV?

I’m a multiple pov hoe. I’ve thought before of writing something in entirely one pov, but tbh i dont think i could do it if the thing is longer that a 2000 word one shot.

8.     Oldest WIP

I HAD TO PULL OUT MY USB FOR THIS GODDAMN

Okay so, my oldest wip ever, is an original story I started in, I think, 2011 and wrote throughout the year. It’s got about 22k words down, but tbh i dont think im ever gonna touch it again.fanfic-wise, my oldest wip is a harvest moon fanfic, that’s around 6k words i think? and i was planning on re-writing it bc i didnt like the characterization of one of the characters and i wanted to fix that, but it’s been like five years now, i dont think it’s ever gonna be done. (I still want to though). (and u can find said wip on my fanfiction.net account)

10.  Do you set yourself deadlines?

My guy, i’ve never set a deadline for myself in my entire life. I think I tried to do it once, and i completely let it pass by. (Though the fanfic i mentioned previously, im pretty sure i updated once a week before i fucked up)

15.  How do you deal with writer’s block?

I either set it aside (and never pick it up again lmao) and let it stew in the back of my mind until I get something else, oR I POWER THROUGH THIS MOTHERFUCKER, and I’ll probably only write 50 words and hate every single last one of them, but I got it done and it’s better than nothing and hopefully tomorrow i’ll actually have something. (also, sometimes when powering through, what i write ends up inspiring me and im like “oh of course!” and i blaze through it)

21.  Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?in case u havent noticed yet, about 99% of all my characters are snarky to some degree. I need a character with a wry sense of humour, and I’ll usually stay in their pov a lot. The only other character “type” I have are the sunshine pure cinnamon rolls who care and love everyone. Oh, and I guess also the ones who are pissed and bitter at the world at large. (I should.... probably... try to get out of this comfort zone...)

25.  Favourite part of writing

okay tbh, my favourite part is when I’m winding down from a good writing session, and I just feel so proud and alive, because I was productive and I created something with my own two hands and mind, and there are very few things that are as incredible as that imo

27.  Favourite line/scene

okay so this was hard to pick??? not to mention it’s all crap you’ve seen before but whatever.

There’s this one:

“McCreewas abruptly reminded of when he was nothing more than a teen, snarling andfurious at everyone around him, not willing to trust anyone. And he wasreminded of Gabriel Reyes who stayed calm and collected in front of his fury,gently rebuking him when he crossed a line; who praised him when he did welland willingly trusted him to have his back even though McCree didn’t trust him;who seemed to quietly understand why McCree acted in certain ways, accepted it,but encouraged him to choose better. Gabriel Reyes, who had faith in him whenhe wasn’t even sure he liked himself.“

And this one:

“IfWash’s head was a ghost town, then the Meta’s was a fucking wasteland.

Butthe worst part wasn’t the scorched earth and completely lifeless landscape, norwas it the stormy brown clouds above. No, the worst part was the lava that wasslowly inching its way up the mountain. It bubbled and simmered an awful sicklyorange as it creeped up bit by bit, not fast at all, but inexorably to the topof the mountain, going against all laws of physics. It was so awfully wrongthat he honestly felt sick witnessing it. Not helping was the sizzles it madeas it burned through whatever little vegetation there was and (he had no ideawhy he knew this, maybe it was because he was connected to the Meta’s brain?),it felt like the lava was actually gouging the earth, opening cracks andseeping inside, corrupting and destroying what lay within.

Wasthe Meta even a person anymore?”

(I proooobably would’ve picked something from the tuckington au but.... a lot of my favourite stuff is dialogue, or snarky narration, and idk it’s hard to choose and there aint a lot of depth to it)

28.  Favourite side character

OKAY THERE’S THIS ONE SIDE CHARACTER IN ONE MY ORIGINAL STORY IDEAS WHOM I ADORE (even though he has no name yet lmao) BUT HE’S BASICALLY REALLY SWEET AND CARING AND HE’S TRYING HIS BEST TO BE HAPPY AND SUPPORTIVE FOR ALL HIS COMPANIONS BC THEY’RE ALL GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES, BUT IT’S REALLY HARD FOR HIM AND HE’S INWARDLY SUFFERING SO MUCH BUT HE KEEPS SMILING FOR PEOPLE ANYWAY AND FLDG;DKHGFKG I LOVE HIM

29.  Favourite villain

I’m... cheating for this, I’ve never written a villain ever actually (and tbh what the fuck??? how??? i have so many original story ideas and none of them are villains??? what the fuck (maybe the true villains were the friends we made along the way))

okay so, originally, this character was gonna be the villain alright. She was mean, cruel, snarky, cunning, and manipulative. But as time went on, and I started exploring her character, wondering why she was like this, what her goal is, and I changed and shifted the plot of the story around she... sort of... became the main character. woops.

30.  Favourite idea you haven’t started on yet

IM ONLY GONNA USE ORIGINAL STORIES FOR THIS BC HOLY SHIT

Honestly, I’d probably have to go with this idea I had of a living person picking up the scythe of a Grim Reaper and becoming one and having to learn the ropes of the job.

Okay, I lied, it might actually be this detective series idea I had, wherein the main character, a police officer, has to investigate cases that, for the most part, are reminiscent, or re-imagined versions, of Quebec folk tales, and she has to figure out why the fuck this is happening.

34.  What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?

FIGHTING AND ACTION SCENES I HATE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD THEY TAKE FOREVER AND I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE IM FUCKING THEM UP HORRIBLY I HATE THEM (I could give u a specific example, but i dont want to)

36.  Last sentence you wrote

“Shut up.”

(this is actually how chapter 2 of my tuckington high school au ends lmao and there’s nothing to gain from it have fun adri)

39.  Weirdest character concept you’ve ever had

OH SHIT I ACTUALLY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION, okay so the i have no clue where the idea came from, but for some reason i had this idea of a character who’s mental stability or whatever was linked to these bracelets she wore??? but it was more like she became more primal and animalistic the more bracelets were taken off until she lost all sense of identity, and i think it’s because she was being controlled or used by an organization or whatever. This was just a random idea that I had and okay i know it’s dark af, but it’s honestly the weirdest one. (tbh…. im not sure i have one that could be considered weird…)

45.  How much world building do you do?

all of it. just. all of it. I need to know clothes, food, architecture, cultural norms, the history of the world, how the fuck people can communicate when there are multiple countries and multiple languages, and this is why absolutely none of my original stuff has ever been written

47.  Best way to procrastinate

Day-dreaming scenes and ideas instead of writing them

48.  What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?

W O W ADRI U WANNA CALL ME OUT THAT BADLY HUH?

honestly it’s probably that main character/villain i mentioned previously, bc i just gave her all of my self-loathing and she was supposed to sacrifice herself heroically in the end and there was gonna be an entire speech about why she was the right person to do this. (if it makes u feel any better, I’ve modified it so she doesn’t actually die and everyone is like “wtf? NO!”)

also the protagonist in story, i just gave her my depression and general lostness in life. (most... of my characters... start off with a part of me I want to explore, but over time, as I flesh them out, they become their own people, and actually have nothing to do with me anymore tbh)

49.  Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?

THAT SWEET CINNAMON ROLL I MENTIONED BEFORE OMG YES, I WOULD PROTECT HIM WITH MY LIFE

50: how long do you usually let an idea fester in your mind before you’re like, “okay, i’ll write you down u little fucker”?

*LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY* OH MAN ADRI U HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’VE JUST ASKED DO U OMG WAIT UNTIL U HEAR THIS

okay so u know that story with the cinnamon roll and main character/villain? The basic plot of that story has been in my brain since around 2011. I still haven’t started to write it. (though, to be fair, that story has changed so goddamn much since 2012 holy shit, and for the better tbh)

tbh adri, ur like 80% of my impulse control, and by that I mean you make me impulsive enough to actually write things instead of letting them ruminate in my brain forevermore. Hell, I’ve only started to get back into writing fanfiction because of you, okay, if u weren’t around I’d probably just give up on writing ever, and let the idea of being a novelist be nothing more but a fantasy i daydream about.

[survivorathena-allstars]

Episode #8: “I'll Fall on the Sword” ~ Charlotte

Let me be like my favourite simpson and Merge. GOD

UGH I THOUGHT WE WERE MCFUCKING MERGING JFLADKJFALSD ANYWAYS I GUESS NOT!!!!!! I'm happy with how tribal panned out but GOD this is an ugly turn of events! At least I don't have school tomorrow and the vote went how it should have. I was in auditions for over four hours tonight and I wasn't able to game talk like AT ALL but I love my allies and they covered it for me. I'm so happy! I think that maybe after THIS vote we'll merge or something... I don't know. Why didn't we merge at 13 if Duncan's power is like??? You know??? You can run and hide from final 13 to final 10 idk it's just weird. And ugh I just,,,,, I WANT TO WIN THIS CHALLENGE SO I DONT HAVE TO VOTE OUT RUTHIE OR KEVIN FDKAKFSD this sucks. I like them both. I'd rather Kevin than Ruthie but that might be difficult because of like,,, how this vote went down lmao. But it was cute how Autumn, Ruthie, and Kevin didn't even stick together after that 3-3-1 vote like WOW JFKDSJFLKAS iconic and I love it. Now I'm hungry and I'm gonna go eat something bye

I literally hate this task challenge with a passion I don't have the reaction time for it rip me and my life and my tribe

I'm forever an Emily & Owen stan but can they go to sleep. PLEATHE

Not to be full of myself but I did #that and more. I mean I'd like to think it was my move bc I suggested her name first so. Her vote said that I was like playing both sides but tbh I wasn't even playing her side at all??? (I accidentally forgot to message her skdkdkd) I just hope that doesn't like...marr my reputation, as small as it already is. Anyways I'm upset about no merge and just hoping we can win this challenge because we were already uncertain last time who knows what'll happen tomorrow night. 

Plz ask for a mutiny so I can go to the other tribe even though they are losing please and THANK YOU

CameronI think I speak for the entirety of Loronha when I say I HATE YOU OWEN AND EMILY ________________________________________________________________ *narrator voice* he does not have faith in his tribe

If I was a Pokémon I’d be Ekans. Hiss hiss

Losing this badly is so hard to deal with after winning so well the last few rounds. I so desperately want to make merge, you know? And if this is the thing that does me in... well that would suck.

this is the most DISHEARTENING challenge, we are always just a second behind the other team and i am so frustrated and sad and everyone on our tribe is trying their hardest but it's just not working for us 

I love losing. It's okay, I'll fall on the sword if we do lose bc I literally couldn't do any of these tasks because I am an adult and I have to work.

I’m really sad and disheartened and this is so so so devastating. This is the first time in any game where I’ve felt this close to a group of people and I’m so upset that one of us has to leave. We tried so damn hard and we were so close and I’m so upset and sad and I. Want to cry 

i cant believe i won!!! im shaking!!! ali is the devil but we won anyway because god always prevails over evil amen!!! britain tell me how my ass tastes!!!! can we please merge!!!

I hate being mad like this. I hate feeling like I want to scream at people and tell them how angry I am. But that's how I feel, so I'm gonna put it in a confessional. Emily and Owen, I'm so sorry in the future and know that likely 10 hours from now I'm not gonna feel this way but. FUCK YOU EMILY AND OWEN. DO YOU FOOLS NEVER SLEEP? DO YOU NOT HAVE LIVES? EMILY DONT YOU GO TO SCHOOL? DID YOU SKIP SCHOOL TO DO THIS CHALLENGE? WHAT THE HELL!

I'm glad my tribe won even though I wish there was a mutiny where they could have lost a TON of points and lost one of their own in the 'Alliance Against Ruthie TM' 

i cant fucking believe i got 5 points for steamed hams, and then emily said eggs was a fun fact and ruined my only contrifuckinbution! i still love her but kdjshgkjdshgkdjshhkj

You all know me as the heartless meanie who lost his shit multiple times during Azores, but right now I'm gonna fucking cry I don't wanna have to vote anyone off this tribe. Like I thought I felt bad before making the move against Madison or having to give up on trying to save Jack, but this is the absolute HARDEST thing that's happened yet. Even if it's Charlotte because apparently she wants us to vote her out, I'm still gonna be crying during this one. This sucks.

Someone from Loronha is winning this game. No ifs, no buts. We all fought SO HARD to win. So hard. And we all got so many points, despite the odds and just stuff being against us. With my strategy, any plans I had of voting against Dana/Will/Cameron? they are gone. I love them all SO MUCH, and have no intention of voting them out. At merge, the war on Atalaia begins. ________________________________________________________________ Like ugh I love me some Emily but come merge? Emily and Lily are outta here.

Thank GOD we won that challenge. I did SO MUCH and if we had lost I would’ve probably wanted Kevin to go home since he contributed the least to the competition at least from what I saw. And also, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I did SO MUCH for our tribe. Like whenever I was at auditions or sleep they were like,,,, we need Emily!! Like? That’s a good feeling. Don’t vote me out because I’m pulling my weight hehe! But also why the fuck did they need me so bad these things aren’t hard you just gotta be speedy!! Whatever. Also I cracked an egg on my head for no reason. I’m the queen of eggs though so it’s fine.

There's something especially depressing about the fact that Charlotte is so willing to go, whether it's because she really is truly over the game or she has stuff going on... It's just sad watching a pseudo-quit like this happen, especially coming off of last night's outright devastation. If y'all thought the Emily boot in Azores was sad (when literally everyone cried on live cam), then this is gonna be even worse - idk how but it's worse. But looking at the bright side, at least it's gonna get me through to the next round.

Charlotte has asked/offered to go tonight which I really respect and appreciate. I am so devastated to see her go though. Charlotte is an icon, a legend, an inspiration. She is truly the most justified all star in this cast. Come merge, the Loronha tribe is literally going to be F6. I'm speaking it into existence. ________________________________________________________________ God Charlotte going tonight is gonna be such a tragedy. But unfortunately a queen must fall for an empire to arise. Its time for the Loronha dynasty to begin.

Hi I feel awful about everything and this game is making me have a heart which should honestly be a crime. As long as I am not being tricked by everybody on my tribe (always a possibility, I am impossible to blindside), I think Charlotte is going home on her own accord tonight. I feel SO bad about it, but at the same time I think she would have gone home either way (idol plays aside), which I'm not sure she expected. Also i'm feeling kind of good about the game right now because I think the dynamics on both tribes are good for me going into a merge situation. 1) Will and Duncan aren't close, and I'm close with both of them. 2) Duncan is close with Zach, who I am close with, and will use for information and then vote out expediently so I can win (probably tbd). 3) I still have my alliances from both my tribes with most members in tact (rip Autumn a quen) 4) I didn't even have to lie to anybody yet.. Wig! I just withheld a lot of information, but weirdly, people have been spilling their game tea to me which honestly ya girl loves! 5) Everyone i'm working with wants Emily out and amazing because i sure do too. 6) Ashvika is close to Duncan and also mad that Autumn was voted out, me too girl. Ok wig I have more thoughts but umm this is all for now ladies. See u on the flip side hopefully xoxo

I have no idea whether I’ve done a confessional or not this round and ideally it’s not my last one. So Loronha finally lost again after WE DIDNT MERGE AT 13! *side eyes emoji*  and honestly the tribe’s moral was shot, right in the gut. Like they all felt so bad about losing it must’ve beeen a rush to be a part of that challenge. Lots of emotions are out and people are in their feels. Apparently Charlotte is very okay with going home and says she has no ulterior motives. I wanted Cameron out first but if Charlotte is willing to go and wants us to vote her out, who am I to stand in her way? I ain’t shit. And I know if I was in that position I’d prefer to go home too. I just don’t think she was as invested as she should’ve been and she realizes that. It’s just sad and I hope she’s not fronting and that we Merge soon.

I THINK I'M MAKING MERGE GIRLIES!!!!!!!! So, with that, I'm going to talk about all the people left in the game and my opinions on them for merge because I've been slacking on confessionals this round!

Okay starting with Ali: Ali has an idol and I'm hoping I'm the only one that knows that still. I'm a little worried not being on his tribe right now because 1. he could build closer relationships with people that are not me 2. he could tell other people about his idol 3. he could tell other people I know about his idol. 3 is bad because then people will know Ali and I are very close. Though I haven't been discreet about any of my relationships in the game thus far, I guess another very out there tie to a player will just? Happen? I guess? I don't know. I'm definitely going to spill all the tea from our 3-3-1 6-0 vote because he's going to get the tea eventually and I'd rather it be from me. I also wonder how close Ali and Duncan are right now because I remember them being a bit rocky before the joint tribal, so who can be sure? I can't.

Ashvika: Really sweet girl and I'm glad we got Autumn out. Ashvika was wanting to save Autumn during the joint tribal and that means they were close, especially because they just played together. I figure Ashvika and Duncan are close because of what I know from Duncan. I wonder if that relationship is still in tact or if Ashvika is now closer to Will and Dana. I remember them being close for some reason. This could be inaccurate but? Idk.

Charlotte: I honestly don't know where I stand with Charlotte! I have no idea where her allegiances are and like? I just really don't know. I remember her and Zach being close but now that they're on different tribes, I don't know where she stands. And I also know that Duncan low key wanted Charlotte out in the earlier days of this game so like... she could be going out next because of her lack of allies and Duncan kind of wanting her out. I don't know how much power Duncan has over there. But also, Charlotte got Jack's vote last time Elaenia went to tribal council so... it's likely? I guess? I don't know. We'll see.

Dana: I don't really know much about Dana other than her and Will are tight. And Zach. And probably Ashvika. That's going to have to be a group I either 1. work with or 2. look out for when we merge. I can just like... sense it. But I also think that Will and Ali are close and then Dana and Zach are close and they're my closest allies so like??? Ali and Zach can probably keep me safe or at least differ targets off my back if my name happens to come up. And I like that!

Duncan: I love Duncan. He has an idol. Idk who else knows other than Ali and I. I hope that's it. Oh wait this is me remembering mid-type that I told Lily about Duncan's idol lol. FUNNY EMILY anyways. Lily probably won't tell. I hope she doesn't. Whew. I think Duncan should be okay 1. because he has an idol 2. because he like??? has a good social game?? I'm hoping to see him in merge.

Kevin: Honestly don't know how I feel about him because we saved him last round but he voted for Lily the round before and like... wtf I don't like that? fjkldsfalsd I thought he and Lily were TIGHT and then he just goes around and votes Lily out like WOW idk man. I know he's my secret santa but he's SKETCHY!!! If we were to have gone to tribal this round, I would've wanted to vote him out. I know that's flip-floppy because we saved him last round and kept Ruthie out of the loop but that's the truth lol

Lily: My absolute fav person ever!!! In a game sense, I would say I'm like ... 4th closest to her. Zach, Ali, and Owen are above her. But everything else I love her! She has that vote negator and I'm happy she FINALLY got something good from the arch*p*l*go!! 

Cameron: Love him love him love him! I feel like we won't work together in this game though. Not sure why I just... don't see it happening? It might. We shall see. He reminds me to take my medicine every night. I <3 him. And for the short period of time we've been together in this game I've been decently honest with him. He was one of the few people I told before the Madison vote that I was gonna vote for Autumn rather than Madison just because she's my friend and it hurts :( so I'm hoping he's willing to vote with me even though he thinks I'm a major snake. God.

Owen: I was doubtful about him at first but I think I've made a genuine connection with him! I was like high key scared he was gonna flip on Lily/Zach/Myself for Autumn/Kevin/Ruthie but he DIDN'T and I'm so happy about that. I really like him and he's been very helpful in challenges so I'm thankful for that!! He's so sweet and we have a snapchat streak and anyone that puts up with my streaks is a blessing

Ruthie: I really love Ruthie and keeping her out of the loop last vote was really something dksjfkasld I'm sad that it happened but like we needed to just in case an idol was played or something. I hope she's willing to work with me later down the line but I think our relationship definitely needs some healing.

Will: Love Will and I really hope we can ACTUALLY work together this game! I know things were messy with the Madison vote but I'm hoping that that doesn't get in the way of our game relationship. Though me fucking things up with Ruthie might also hinder it... I'm not sure. I think Ali and him are close and I'm close to Ali so like? Yeah keep me safe Will xoxo. Will is also definitely close to Dana since she exposed some of his tea during the scavenger hunt. I would never expose tea from any of the people I'm not close with you know? yeah they're close. Her draft name in Azores was "Dana I want Will to win" and I remember that because I had to read it like ten times to finally understand what it said

Zach: I love Zach so much and he's my number one ally despite me not like telling him about either one of Ali or Duncan's idols lmao. Ugh I just love Zach so much and I trust him with ??? MY LIFE????? I'd go to rocks for him I love him. He's so honest with me (I think) and I just love him omgjdklfjaskldflasd god I love Zach he's great he's so sweet I can tell we're going to stay friends after this which is my favorite thing about him!! AHHHHH!! 

Well this confession was super long and I started it around 3:00 and I'm just now submitting it (7:27 PM lol)

Charlotte becomes the 8th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 7-0 vote. You can see Charlotte’s preseason interview here.