#i have NO idea why i feel so drained but damn i hate work sm lately ughhhh i honestly feel like i need a month break

[enden-k]

loses energy and joy to draw → recovers for days → slowly finds energy and joy in drawing again → has to go to work → loses energy and joy to draw → recovers for d 🔁

[kirishimas-manly-eyeliner]

pairing: toxic!bakugo x gn!reader

format: headcanon to fic

word count: 1.7k words

warnings: toxic bakugo, mentions of abuse, swearing, cheating, and a whole lotta angst and screaming and heartbreak </3

a/n: ay!! in no way shape or form do i think bakugou would actually be toxic. i love bakugou sm, i just wrote this for the sake of writing. || HAVE FUN BUCKLE UP KIDS, and if you enjoyed, please reblog to support <3

“I HATE YOU, KATSUKI BAKUGO.” 

“But you couldn’t help but feel selfish at the thought that... while he was going off saving everyone else, you were the one who needed saving.”

fights with bakugo weren’t uncommon, but when you snapped back that was when things got rough

it began when he was getting ready to train like he always did-- waking up early in the morning and not coming back until dinner time

you knew that his hero work was pretty draining most of the time, so you let it slide. being a pro-hero was no easy feat, so you understood where he was coming from if he ever snapped 

but on the days where he was free, all you wanted was a little extra time with him.

“hey ‘suki,” you said quietly as you ruffled his hair. “how was your day, love?”

but today hadn’t been a good day for him, and he just wanted to be left alone

he was slumping on the couch, watching tv as he simply nodded in reply

“good.”

you couldn’t help but feel a pang of disappointment with his apathetic reply. was he serious? all you wanted was to spend some quality time with him, and that was the best he could do?

“hey, uh, it’s break! how about we go outside, hmm? there was this really good takoyaki place-”

“god, do you ever shut up?” he said, his head whipping around as he got up to face you eye-to-eye

“oh,” you muttered quietly. “uh... sorry.”

you were never really one to snap-- especially since you knew if you got frustrated back, it would just cause more trouble. instead, you sighed and walked away

“but... would it be okay? maybe next time?”

“yeah, whatever.” bakugo snapped.

[ FIC BELOW THE CUT ]

A “next time” never came. Not even for a single second. He was always busy, or always tired, but no matter what, he always responded with “not in the mood,” or something along the lines of that.

But this week in particular? It wasn’t going well for you.

While he worked hard in hero training, you constantly pushed through every single day with assignment upon assignment, memorizing formulas and trying to figure out equations. You worked diligently at home throughout the day, only to see in big, red blocks, “LATE” once more. 

You looked at yourself, disappointed. There was constant brainfog going around in your head, nothing was clear anymore, and all you wanted was to go nowhere and everywhere at the same time.

Why couldn’t you get any of this right? What was wrong with you?

Doing what once Bakugo promised you to do, you pulled out your phone and texted him, remembering his words when you two first got together:

“I’ll always be here for you.”

You: Bby, what time are you coming home today? I miss you 🥺

You waited a few minutes. You knew that he was probably on another chase, running and saving the day once more. 

But you couldn’t help but feel selfish at the thought that... while he was going off saving everyone else, you were the one who needed saving. You felt selfish and clingy for missing the days when things were easier in highschool-- TV-dinner dates, walks around the park, snuggling late into the night. Sure, you knew his job was important. He was going around rescuing hundreds of people every day, constantly working and running-- so why was it so hard for you to understand?

What’s wrong with me? 

“Unless...” you muttered to yourself. “Is it normal? Is a relationship like this normal? It is, right? I still get to see him, so that’s a plus. Well, sometimes. Kind of. I get to see him on weekends if he isn’t planning on living on the couch all day. But that’s normal, right? I think? I don’t think he’d... would he?”

💥 Boom Baby <3 💥: I’ll be home in 10. See you.

Your eyes lit up with excitement, the storm in your head finally calming. It was going to be okay. It was going to be okay. 

- - -

It was not okay. Things weren’t okay.

As soon as Bakugo came home, he slammed the door and began rambling about his day again. You listened.

He talked.

You listened.

You listened to him drone on about his day.

And not once,

not once did he ask about yours.

“And I can’t believe it!” he growled as he tossed his jacket into the closet. “That damn idiot doesn’t even know what a villain is, from what I’m guessing,”

Your blood boiled as he continued to talk, not once looking you directly in the eyes.

“...and he’s probably going off and crying again. And that stupid villain wasn’t even trying! It’s as if he was just trying to cause trouble for me, and I think that’s fuckin’ ridiculous.”

Bakugo took his shoes off, throwing them onto the rug as he opened the door into the living room while talking. He didn’t even... he didn’t even glance at you.

“And me? Ha! I was forced to go on patrol,”

Me. He’s was always saying, me, me, me, by myself, alone.

Your jaw clenched as you heard him drone on.

“And they know I hate patrol, those damn... whatever. But again. And the thing is? No one ever listened to me! I didn’t even-”

“No one ever listened to me”

Was he kidding?

That was the last straw.

Bakugo continued. “Heck, I didn’t even get to start on anything! They just made me-”

“I hate you.” 

“...What?” he said, eyes narrowing as he stopped.

He looked you in the eye this time.

“I said, I hate you, Bakugo Katsuki.” you hissed. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you? Every day? For you to actually come home? Do you have any clue how lonely it’s been? Did you even know that I got accepted into the school I applied to, because I did-”

“Oh, you want to talk working hard?” Bakugo raged, suddenly towering over you. “You want to go there? Because I certainly don’t fuckin’ mind! Do you have any idea how clingy you are? Because unlike you, I don’t have an unlimited battery of energy. I’m tired all day, and I just want to go to sleep. So do whatever you need! Wash the dishes! Clean the house! I don’t give a damn, because guess what? I don’t care!”

Bakugo’s throat hitched when he realized was he’d said. 

“Really?” You laughed in disbelief. “Really, so all of a sudden, you’re treating me like I’m some sort of object! Like I’m something you can play with? I just wanted to spend time with you, Bakugo!”

....But he hadn’t expected for you to fight back. You had never fought back. 

“If you wanted to spend time with me, you would have been smart enough to know that I don’t give a damn anymore. Get lost for all I care. Deal with it yourself, you got that?”

When was the last time I’ve seen y/n fight for theirself?

“Ha! And you think I already haven’t felt that way?” You spat bitterly. You could feel the tension rising in the room, and it was just a constant back-and-forth between you two. “Because I have! I’ve stayed up all night, worried, crying, because you wouldn’t take the time out of your day to spend time with me. I understand your hero work! I get it, I do! But something as small as a genuine how are you? could have made my day, but did you give it?”

“At least you’re not the one who’s running their ass off just to get some money to live-”

“So you think you’re helping me now?”

Bakugo went up to your face before holding you by the collar and shoving you against the wall, tiny sparks beginning to form at his hands. “No! Why would I help you? You don’t even do anything, just get out of my face! Get out of my life, because I don’t ever want to see you or your stupid face ever again, go find someone else to take care of you!”

Bakugo’s throat hitched again at the sudden slip of words.

An immense wave of silence washed over.

Silence became deafening.

Who...

Who was he?

Who was this person?

Who was this... stranger? Monster? 

Did you even know him?

Why was he...

Who was this?

Whatever happened to “I’ll always be here for you?”

Your hands shook against your chest, eyes filling with tears as your heart hammered against your chest. 

“Fine.” You managed to say. If you were leaving, you were leaving firmly without a single trace of regret. “Fine then. See how it is without me, your so-called maid at home, isn’t that right?”

You could practically see the utter panic in his eyes.

“Right, Katsuki?”

For the first time in your life, you saw a shadow of vulnerability in his frame. His hands were shaking, eyes suddenly bloodshot and his breathing pattern increasing with speed.

“Answer me.”

Bakugo began shaking his head vigorously as he tried to reach out for your hand, but you pushed him away. “N-no, y/n, I didn’t mean-” he began.

You cut him off.

“No, no, you-- you did. You did. I know you meant every last word, and I mean the one I’m saying now.”

Even though your voice shook, you still chose to speak.

“I’m breaking up with you. We’re done.”

His eyes seemed frantic. “Baby, give me another chance, I swear I’ll make it right, I can,” Bakugo trembled. He stared at you in the eyes before trying to grab your hand again as if you were dying in front of him and had the audacity to say, “That’s what I always said, right? That I promised I’d always be here for you-”

“What’s done is done.” You said, before even giving him a chance to keep speaking. Was he insane? “You hurt me.”

“And I sure hope to God that you won’t ever hurt anyone else ever again. Because the thing is?” You stood up in front of him, watching his frame quake and his eyes widen. “You’re always going to be this toxic.”

“I wish I could say I was sorry.”

And you slammed the door for the last time.