#i have a chocolate bafta left from last year actually ha

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

The Return of Doctor Who Part 1: Rumour Patrol

TRIGGER WARNING: I still hate Chris Chibnall; unneccessary bukkake references; a tractor-crash described in punishing detail; the tragedy of being Wales (Britain’s Designated Punchline Province).

So, Doctor Who’s back- or is going to be later this year! And if you’re thinking “but it never went away…?” in a confused tone of thought, then congratulations on being completely fucking oblivious! The last few years have been… a car crash. But a not a fun car crash with lots of blood and guts to gawk at… more like one of those crap, country road car crashes where you pass a tractor upside down in a ditch with a farmer standing looking mournfully at it and wonder how something so slow and heavy failed to do the one thing it was trying to do so fucking miserably. That level of car-crash. So, when I say ‘Doctor Who’s back!’, what I mean is that Doctor Who is once more going to star talented actors and actresses and be written by experienced, skilled screen-writers who have paid their dues and actually have a handle on the genre their working in, as well as how to use themes, subtlety and subtext.

Now, to you or I or any sensible person, this just seems like straight-up good news. Russel T. Davies, who brought the show back to life in ‘05 is going to be showrunner, David Tennant is going to star, followed by Ncuti Gatwa (a BAFTA-winning actor, enthusiastic Who fan and all-round chocolate sex machine). For normal, mentally healthy people, this is a confluence of wonderful events that categorically does not invite shit-stirring. For certain parts of the media, however, it’s an excuse to invent dementedly racist straw-men from whole cloth, spread stupid-arse rumours about casting decisions in the hope of getting a rise, and just generally talk bollocks and pedal nonsense for clicks. So, because I can’t stand to see the discourse on something I love dominated by towering wankers with the media literacy of four year olds, I’ve decided to round up the rumours and op-eds, put them in a row, and subject them to the Firing Squad of Actual Facts. In other words, I’ve done the bare minimum of due diligence that the mainstream media didn’t bother to do and am now going to tell you which headlines are true and which are horseshit.

THE RUMOUR: ROSE TYLER IS NOW A DARK-SKINNED TRANS WOMAN THE REALITY: This is, of course, absolute bullshit. The Guardian (which used to be fairly reputable, before they started letting nutters with no journalistic training write for them) got hold of the name ‘Rose’ and the name of a trans actress attached to the upcoming Doctor Who special, put two and two together and somehow came up with seven. Trans actress Yasmin Finney will be playing Donna Noble’s trans daughter, Rose Temple-Noble, not Rose Tyler. Amazingly, it turns out two people can be named Rose- one probably after the other. The Guardian article is absolutely fucking hilarious, however, on a number of levels. For a start, it’s just factually wrong in the way that an article published in a proper newspaper shouldn’t be, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. It takes the form of an imagined argument with a made-up racist transphobe so arch that it’s immediately obvious nobody on Earth has ever uttered their side of the fictional conversation. Additionally, the author seems to think that Rose Tyler is a Time Lord who can change her face like the Doctor (which is incorrect… although, if it turned out that absorbing the Time Vortex that one time rewrote her DNA, I’d totally be there for that. But that’s just me writing fanfic in my brain- not a real thing within the show). To put the icing on the cake, the article invites all those evil, bigoted fake fans to fuck off while (and I quote) “the rest of us have a blast.” Apparently, ‘the rest of us’ who will be enjoying Doctor Who once all the mean, bad people have left are people who, er, don’t watch Doctor Who or know how to research really basic casting decisions. Genius.

THE RUMOUR: AFORESAID YASMIN FINNEY WILL BE NCUTI GATWA’S DOCTOR’S COMPANION THE REALITY: This rumour is less stupid, in that it’s entirely possible she’ll have an important and ongoing role within the show once Gatwa takes over from David Tennant as the Doctor... but still no. She’s not the main, recurring companion for Gatwa’s Doctor. That honour goes to young up-and-comer Millie Gibson, who will be playing a character called Ruby Sunday. While we’re on the subject, I’d like to go on record and make a prediction right now, so we can check back and see if I was right in about, say, five years: while she doesn’t appeal to me personally (partly because I’m engaged and partly because she has less meat on her than ploughman’s sandwich), I predict Millie Gibson and her freakishly buoyant Jessica Rabbit chest-bongos will launch puberty early for an entire generation of Whovians. And now I’ve made that prediction… we play the waiting game. Preferably with our Bukkake-proof umbrellas raised and readied.

THE RUMOUR: NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WILL PLAY THE CELESTIAL TOYMAKER THE REALITY: This one is possible but, as far as I can tell, not confirmed at the time of writing. It seems that the Beeb has released a photo of Harris in costume… but not told us who he’s playing. The Celestial Toymaker seems like a reasonable guess, because he’s an entity with incredible, seemingly magical powers coupled to an eccentric demeanour and aesthetic, while Harris is a magician in real life (yet another reason to love the guy) whose general persona approximates the classic-era villain. The costume, of course, also fits the bill. I would be fucking delighted if this one turned out to be true, but let’s not get our knickers dripping with anticipation just yet. It’s still entirely possible he’s playing someone else. Maybe the Dream Lord from that one episode where the Doctor was basically torturing himself inside his own mind; maybe a classic antagonist so obscure even I don’t know who they are; maybe someone completely new, invented for the upcoming 60th Anniversary Special. We’ll just have to wait and see.

THE RUMOUR: GILLIAN ANDERSON MIGHT BE IN IT. THE REALITY: That would be great, because Gillian Anderson is basically the Second Lady of Sci-Fi after Sigourney Weaver (who’s kind of too American to fit comfortably into the quintessentially British Whoniverse, awesome though she is). However, at the moment, it’s sheer wishful thinking on behalf of the fans and on behalf of Gatwa, who’d apparently like to see her involved. Actually, since we’re occasionally going to be getting female regenerations from now, could we just cast her as the next Doctor after Gatwa? I mean, I know that gender-flipping is stupid because it erases an important part of a character’s identity (it’s a point I’ve made many times), but I also realise the toothpaste isn’t going back in the tube on this one, so we might as well just cast some really great actresses instead. So, yeah: Gillian Anderson for Doctor Who! Let’s start a petition before they accidentally hire a talent-free walking charisma-dampner instead! Don’t laugh- it’s happened once already. Twice if you include Collin, the crap one of the two Bakers.

And that’s pretty much it for the rumours. As it turns out, only one worth writing up was actively shit-stirry, while the others were… well, one was kinda dumb but understandable and a couple were just wild optimism. Honestly, that’s pretty cool. It’s nice not to have to spend hours of my life dismantling idiots for once- only mere minutes. Before I go, there are a couple of things that the media have been saying about the coming era of Doctor Who that aren’t rumours but which I feel I might as well address while we’re here.

1) Yasmin Finney said her casting and role in Doctor Who will “change the world”. To be clear, it definitely won’t. It might very slightly course-correct casting decision criteria in the BBC’s drama department, and it’ll be nice for trans people to see one of their own in an important role in a sci-fi drama, but ‘changing the world’ is definitely beyond the scope of a role in a piece of modestly-budgeted British genre fiction. That said, I’m not going to roll my eyes and tut too loudly- Finney’s young and excitable and you’re allowed to say stupid shit when you’re young and excitable. That’s what you’re teenage years and early twenties are for. That and substance abuse.

2) Loads of media outlets are going on about what a big deal it is that Gatwa is the first black Doctor in the show’s history. Again, I’m sure it’ll be lovely for non-white Brits to see one of their own in the lead role of the Beeb’s flagship sci-fi drama, but it’s not really a historic moment just because it happens to be a first. Britain isn’t America and, while we have our share of racist cretins, for the most part national and regional identity are much more prominent in our collective psyche than skin tone. Case in point, both black and white Irish people hate the English with equal intensity, everyone makes fun of the Welsh with no reference to colour, the Scottish are universally feared as hard-cases and Cornwall refers to the rest of us as ‘the mainland’ despite not being an island. Meanwhile, if the TV show Luther has taught us anything, it’s that we’re actually pretty good at judging a man by the contents of his character and not the colour of his skin. Provided a man’s an untidy megalomaniacal wreck with anger management issues and connections in the criminal underworld, most Brits will embrace him as truly One Of Our Own regardless of his ethnic heritage. I slightly suspect that the media is hoping the racists will come out of the woodwork over Gatwa’s casting so that it can go into smug preachy mode and score some Right Side of History points with thickos, but since this is the UK not the deep south of the US of A, that probably isn’t going to happen and they should stop embarrassing themselves. The gender-flip of the Chibnall/Whitaker era was capital-letters BAD and attracted backlash because, across every regeneration, certain aspects of the Doctor’s character were specifically male-coded or masculine, so the change was damaging to the character. The same just isn’t true of his skin colour- he’s culturally coded as British (despite being an alien) but not necessarily white or even class-conforming, so it just isn’t the same thing.

Right, glad we got all that sorted out. I’ve got a few more things to say about Doctor Who now that we’re heading into a period when it’ll be worth watching again, but those are definitely separate blogs. Expect to see those sometime this week. Until then, I never made the Doctor’s vow to never be cruel or cowardly, so if you’d like to fuck off before I get my shotgun, that’d be swell.

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Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts - 15+ - https://shorthaircutsmodels.com/emilia-clarkes-short-hairstyles-and-haircuts/ - Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, showed off her new cut by stylist Jenny Cho on Instagram confirming that the new short style was actually meant to look like matching fairies Pitt and Paltrow had when they dated. The eighth and final season of Game Of Thrones is still a good eight or more months away but that hasn't stopped Emilia Clarke aka Daenerys Targaryen aka Mother of Dragons from making headlines in. Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, The meantime. At first Clarke's GoT lowkey admitted dyeing her hair blonde for her destruction and then making fans cry by getting her dragon baby tattoo on her wrist everywhere. And now she has made another move. Clarke has cut her hair into a short itty bitty pixie cut that makes her look almost completely unrecognisable. Clarke's new haircut was first seen wearing a. Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, Blazer gold hoops and jeans at the Florence + The Machine concert at The Hollywood Bowl in California last night. As noted, Clarke has been photographed in the same blazer as the late Emerald on more than one occasion, including an Instagram photo of his tattoo but don't be fooled. his haircut is completely new and insanely gorgeous. Changing your hairstyle thick or thin. Emilia Clarke's Short Haircuts Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, Is a great way to signify change on the horizon. It didn't completely change her appearance but she looked very different than she normally would. Dark hair suits your skin. She was seen in a very simple and elegant hairdo at a photography event in 2020. Her hair was straight and shoulder length. She parted her hair in the middle and had her hair back behind her ears. Emilia Clarke's Hairstyles and Haircuts Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, He used two shades. the darker shade was on his roots. In 2020, Thornes looked very different at the premiere game. She used hair extensions and locked her hair with accessories. A beach wavy hairdo appeared at the MTV Movie Awards. She looked so beautiful in this hairstyle. she gave her hair so much volume. The Game of Thrones star cut her post Daenerys strands even shorter this week, cutting her bob into an ear-grazing fairy cut. Emilia Clarke's Haircuts Emilia Clarke's Short Hairstyles and Haircuts, At the Hollywood Bowl on Wednesday, she showed off a new look that showed off a total of 180 of the close waist-length wires used to see her character rocking on the HBO show. Apparently this chop was something he had been thinking about for some time. I love bloody long hair but then I always dream of cutting it all off and doing a fairy cut, which she told earlier this month. Emilia Clarke's Short Hair But I don't know if my face can handle it. But all the signs based on the recent photos of his latest chops are yes absolutely can. Mother of Dragons may be best known for waist-length platinum braids but stunning actress Emilia Clarke never sticks to a style when it comes to her hair. From chestnut brown to platinum yellow, long and chic to short and curly, The Game Of Thrones star stepped out with almost every updo imaginable, and countless hairstyles never stopped us from getting excited. Emilia Clarke's Hair We rounded up Emilia Clarke's all-time best red carpet hair as it was impossible to get our favourite. We'll probably never recreate Daenerys's intricate mesh creations, but we can try a few of those looks. The Game of Thrones cast travelled from Westeros to New York for the HBO show's final red carpet season premiere on Wednesday, and it's safe to say they put their best faces forward for the occasion. Take Emilia Clarke, for example. Pics of Emilia Clarke Layered Razor Cut The 32-year-old actress turned heads in a tulle Valentino dress with a sneaky secret message on it but her hair and makeup is what really caught our eye as she headed to Radio City Music Hall to watch the first episode of Season Eight. Thursday on Instagram Clarke debuted her new look writing " me. I think Gwyneth and Brad had the same haircut. @ jennychohair. I have Chu. Clarke was busy changing his appearance last year. Emilia Clarke Just Cut Off All Her Hair And It's SO Short Last September she debuted a platinum blonde bob made by a hairdresser on the back of the iconic Khaleesi wig. But the pixie cut had been on his mind. She said earlier this month that I love bloody long hair but then I always dream of cutting it all off and doing a fairy cut but I don't know if my face can take it. Emilia Clarke is a popular face in Hollywood because of her performance in the film Game Of Thrones. She is a brave actress and is always ready to take the extra mile for the character she is playing. Emilia Clarke's New Pixie Haircut Makes Her Look When her hair comes to compromises. She completely changed her hairstyle for the sake of her role. She recently cut her hair very small and changed the color of her hair to platinum. Originally Emilia Clarke had chocolate brown hair. Wavy bob is his trademark. He appeared at a BAFTA awards show in London with a blunt bang in front of him. Emilia Clarke has debuted a short brunette bob with a big new haircut after wearing the majority of her hair blonde winter and she looks so good. Emilia Clarke's Pixie Haircut A woman cutting her hair, as Coco Chanel says, is about to change her life. While it's not entirely possible to know everything that contributes to a celebrity transformation, one thing is certain. when a list celebrity cuts their hair, people notice. Emilia Clarke's new haircut may not mean anything more profound than an entertaining change, but that doesn't make it any less exciting. The final season of Game Of Thrones is still about eight to ten months away. It's hard to keep up with everything that's been lost over the. Is Emilia Clarke hair real in Game of Thrones? Last seven seasons of Game Of Thrones. robb Stark Jon Snow with Ramsay Bolton our chance to get away with it for good. In 2020, he starred in the film Triassic Attack. This film earned him recognition as Britain's next star. The HBO series Game Of Thrones made him very popular. His first Broadway show was breakfast at Tiffany's. her performance was highly acclaimed in the films Terminator Genisys and before me. Emilia Clarke's Hairstyles Over the Years She has been nominated three times for Best Supporting Actress at the Emmy Awards. He has also received multiple nominations for the Critics ' Choice Television Awards. Some new films are being released in August doubt and guns. He will be seen in this year's upcoming film Solo. A Star War Story medium. Emilia Clarke has shown her talent in every media, from theatre to television and the big screen. She did her best in every media and left a deep image of a strong and promising actress. Does Emilia Clarke dye her hair? His dedication to his work is something to appreciate. He has a long way to go and enjoy more success in life. Mother of Dragons may be best known for waist-length platinum braids but stunning actress Emilia Clarke never sticks to a style when it comes to her hair. From chestnut brown to platinum yellow, long and chic to short and curly, The Game Of Thrones star stepped out with almost every updo, and countless hairstyles never stopped us from getting excited. Our favourite rounded out some of. Emilia Clarke hairstyles game of thrones Emilia Clarke's best red carpet hairstyles of all time as it was impossible to get. We'll probably never recreate Daenerys's intricate mesh creations, but we can try a few of those looks. As her character Daenerys in Game Of Thrones she became more widely known for rolling blonde locks while Emilia Clarke also channeled a range of stylish hair from the character. From an elegant chignon to a loosely tousled waves Bazaar, the cast of Game Of Thrones takes it. The final season of the show will premiere on April 14, and the stars of the HBO hit have been changing their appearances since the production. Emilia Clarke Debuted a Pixie Cut Kit Harrington committed to going pink in his signature chopped John Snow curls and maisie Williams. I painted it because I didn't want to work, as Williams told rolling Stone. Now Emilia Clarke is the latest GoT star to make a change. But unlike Williams and Harrington his final tweak was so subtle he may have missed it. Emilia Clarke hair colour Celebrity hairdresser Jenny Cho Clarke has now given Bob an outgrown fresh trim styled in loose waves after wearing a dragon-shaped braid on the red carpet. Her new look comes just in time for her recent premiere and the return of spring, because let's be real, there's no better time now. Who is the blonde haired girl in Game of Thrones? Soft waves spring-loaded flooring Cho wrote in the instagram caption. If you've seen Game Of Thrones, you've got to know this talented player. As Game Of Thrones approaches its final season, Emilia Clarke is taking some risks. First he has a tattoo of baby dragons on his wrist. And now she has a Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow, a 1990s-inspired haircut. Emilia Clarke new hair Also among the beatings was Emilia Clarke's hair. Earlier this month the actress nearly killed the Briton Going Platinum at Harper's Bazaar. Yeah, it's pretty short because my hair was dying. he was talking about the lobe he took for all the damage. Emilia Clarke natural hair color So I cut it a little bit shorter. It happened almost as soon as it happened. I try to be blonde to be honest because it killed my hair and I miss having beautiful hair. She also dropped this cookie. I love bloody long hair but then I always dream of cutting it all out and making a fairy cut. But I don't know if my face can handle it. But in the meantime, Emilia Clarke aka Danaerys Targaryen is busy making headlines. Emilia Clarke haircut 2020 - 2021 A few months ago Clarke admitted dyeing her hair blonde for the show almost destroyed her and now she has made a move that changes her full look as the mother of Dragons cut her hair into a short tiny fairy cut. She had a 'bronde' bob locks of chocolate brown shoulder length in waist length white blonde Westeros conquering braids and almost every hair look in between. And now Emilia Clarke has hit us with the worst hairstyle ever. What is Emilia Clarke's real hair color? The game of Thrones actress revealed a brand new crop of wavy ash blonde taking to instagram. Celeb hair stylist Jenny Cho revealed her retro hair inspo on the back of an edgy new look cut by Clarke and not what you'd expect. Emilia Clarke says she has always wanted a fairy cut and the autumn of 2020 - 2021 is the perfect time for that to happen. Emilia Clarke hair color Celebrity hairdresser Jenny Cho styled Clarke's dark hair into a braided bouffant inspired by Game Of Thrones character daenerys Targaryen. Cho slicked back her middle-parted hair and gave her a braid that followed down the back of her head before making a loop through the nape of her neck. Bend your knees to your hair skills. Emilia Clarke's Bob With Side-Swept Bangs We're members. Clarke's make-up was equally striking, with fiery red orange eye shadow and bold deep burgundy lipstick made by Chanel make-up artist Kate Lee. Read on for a close look at Clarke's Khaleesi-approved braid and make-up, and if you're still in the mood for more beauty magic, get the full breakdown of the beauty from Maisie Williams ' look at the premiere. Emilia Clarke from Game Of Thrones has launched an entirely new hairstyle at the Oscars. Until this week she had worn her hair in a long blonde bob. Is daenerys hair white or blonde? The mother of Dragons made a big beauty statement on the red carpet at the 2020 - 2021 Oscars. Designed by hairstylist Jenny Cho Clarke's pixie, the top is short on the sides with long wavy layers. The last time she cut her hair she left a clue " I love bloody long hair but then I always dream of cutting it all and doing a fairy cut. But I don't know if my face can handle it. Instagram Instagram based on the latest Star photos we think this is a big decision and completely nailed the look Instagram a by posting your favourite vintage. Why did Emilia Clarke cut her hair? Pair rather than paying homage to 90s celebrity Emilia Clarke this couple took to be inspired by a haircut from Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow. The side-sweeping style makes her look very stylish. One of the best hairstyles was at the Annual Screen Actor's Guild Awards in 2021. He had a loose chignon and he carried it really well. It just looked stunning. Emilia Clarke is a British actress and she studied at Drama Centre London. Emilia Clarke hairstyles He appeared on stage and on television before making films. He first appeared on television in the British soap opera Doctors. best hairstyles to date. Emilia Clarke is no stranger to a dramatic hair transformation. Despite being a natural brunette the actress is known for her almost white platinum blonde wig which she wears as Daenerys Targaryen's mother in Game Of Thrones Dragons. Emilia Clarke haircut And last year she was also rocking a platinum shade IRL. As any unnatural blonde knows her hair is doing a number above the light and last September Clarke cut her hair into a lobe due to damage. The actress made another dramatic hair change, sporting a deep chocolate hue elsewhere on the Oscars 2020-2021 red carpet. She teased her new look on Instagram en route to the ceremony having well more fun than blondes captioned a selfie.. Well we'll see about this fine evening. Let the good day roll. Emilia Clarke new haircut She's also hashtagged because obviously she's the Queen of the people. It's been a transformational week for Game Of Thrones star Emilia Clarke. Last week Clarke took to Instagram to launch a brand new tattoo. a dragon set drawn on his slender wrist. The Tattoo actress is particularly emotional considering filming wrapped on the final season of the hit HBO show. But that wasn't the only change Clarke had planned. Emilia Clarke hairstyle At a Florence + The Machine concert at the Hollywood Bowl Clarke introduced her shortest hair. a fresh pixie cut. Jenny Cho, who went to Clarke's hairdresser, updated her bob by adding layers of alumni and giving the actress a deep side part. These short layers and piece placement give the illusion of Clarke's soft side-swept bursts. Cho finished the style by curling Bob's ends. As you can see in the photo posted on Cho's Instagram, the style is older Hollywood than the Battle of Winterfell.

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THE MANY WORLDS OF JOANNA MILKWEED- FOREWORD

by Daniel Brogan

Joanna Milkweed, sculptor, producer, co-creator of Dan the Can Man, died last year at the age of 104 at her home near Wenvoe, surrounded to the end by a faint air of mystery.

A photograph from her last public appearance, at the BAFTA children’s awards ceremony, in London, in the year 1998, shows Joanna sitting at an angle to her colleagues.

At the Grosvenor, over a landscape of napkins and wine bottles in silhouette, Milkweed’s husband, the producer Bill Kenzie, along with animator Clayton Morgan, looks toward the lit stage. Around the shadowy table, lesser colleagues incline the same way. Their smiles are fixed, they look anxious, expectant.

Joanna is looking elsewhere. Her chair is turned so that she is at a right angle to the stage, to the spotlight, to the hallowed space where the announcements and the speeches are made. One hand hangs limp between her knees, the other holds a champagne flute. Her gaze is unreadable. There is a darkness either in or around her eyes that reminds one of cigarette burns.

Born in the Rhondda Valley in 1961 and educated at Saint Martins College, Joanna Milkweed was always looking elsewhere. In all but the most posed of shots, her eyes consistently fail to meet the camera. In this picture, taken in August 1998, the tendency reaches its geometrical conclusion. She is at 90 degrees to the ceremony.

Minutes after the shot was snapped Joanna and her colleagues won their second award of the night. Dan the Can Manhad already won best animation, Bill accepting the trophy from the writer Michael Rosen, and now Zum4 Entertainment – formed by Joanna, Bill, and Clayton – was about to be named Best New Independent Production Company.

Less than a year later Milkweed divorced Kenzie and went on to sell him all the rights to their creation, the perennially popular delivery man Dan, his yellow truck, and his whole motorway corridor world.

Milkweed never made another programme. Her withdrawal from public life was abrupt and total. She went away and never came back.

Joanna had been active in film and television design for 20 years at this point. From the start, she was determined to work in animation and soon made her name. Her gift as an artist appeared to combine two different elements, the intricacy and detailed beauty of her model work on the one hand, on the other a certain looseness or wildness of the imagination. Milkweed’s best work contained equal parts of each tendency, working together, eccentric visions sculpted into perfect scale models.

Joanna Milkweed designed and built a glorious variety of miniature worlds for dozens of different projects through the 80s and into the 90s. A lot of her work was done in fantasy and sci fi settings – a library in a university on an icy moon of Saturn, the interior of a smashed up block of flats in a post-apocalyptic city, a war torn village in the Dark Ages. Her eye for detail brought all these strange scenes and more to vivid life.

Milkweed also worked in children’s television, creating memorable sets for popular series like Mr Tweedyman,Samson and Gwynn, and The Shimmers.

“Joanna always brought something extra,” recalls Miles Brierley, who hired Milkweed to work on his long-runningAquarius 3000 series (1986 – 1993) and again on the one-off special Tarvin’s Future (1994).

“No matter what the project was, you knew that if you got Joanna Milkweed in you were going to get something really very special.

“Joanna’s stuff was just so imaginative, and so beautiful, she actually took what we were doing to another level. Certainly in the early days of Aquarius, before we’d found our voice, Joanna’s models were the best reason to watch the damn show!”

In 1995, while pregnant with her first child, Joanna conceived the initial spark that led to the creation of Dan, the vending machine resupply driver whose adventures still entertain children to this day.

Ex-husband Bill Kenzie, though often derided, has written movingly about this moment in his posthumously published memoir Just the Delivery Man:

“Joanna was suddenly hungry, after feeling sick all day, so now I tried to tempt her with different food possibilities. It’s quite difficult to predict what will tempt the appetite of a pregnant woman. I offered soups and salads, biscuits and chocolate, various sundries from the back of the cupboard. All in vain.

“Finally, in desperation rather than in hope, I blurted the word: McDonald’s? And Joanna rewarded me with an ironic grin, as was her way. I went to hunt for the car keys.

“We were still living in Newport at this point, much to our distress. The new house in Roath was ready for us to move into, had been since May. We’d hoped to be in and settled well before now, with Joanna’s bump so big and round. Moving house is stressful, as is having a baby. Trying to do the two at the same time though? An absolute hellscape. Which may seem an overstatement but to those who have never had to try it, I’d simply say – try it!

“Being pregnant brought out the anxious, worrying side of Joanna. It didn’t help that it was such a difficult pregnancy. I remember thinking, well, thanks a lot Mother Nature. Thanks for making this a lot more difficult than it strictly had to be. And of course it was Joanna who bore the brunt. I felt so sorry for her, we had so many ups and downs. My own temperament is much calmer, more simply optimistic.

“If you ask most of my friends and colleagues to describe me in a few brief words, you’d probably find a lot of variations on Laid back, including So laid back it’s a wonder he doesn’t fall flat on his back. It’s true, I’m naturally relaxed almost to a fault. People start to find it annoying, my lack of urgency. I know Joanna found it annoying. I guess we were at different poles emotionally, as in so much else.

“I suppose I felt at some level that my influence would help her chill out a little. Looking back, it seemed to have the opposite effect, giving Joanna a target for her fears, her irritation, and her many frustrations. I don’t think either of us was very easy to live with, we were still young and were both quite extreme personalities at that point. But different extremes, Joanna and I – opposite poles. We had our moments though, which I’ll never forget, and would never want to forget. They made us who we are.

“While eating her Quarterpounder Meal in the car, her first solid food since the bout of uncontrollable vomiting on Wednesday afternoon, we looked across the car park at the panorama beyond, the M4 motorway snaking its way through Newport, heading west through a pink sky to the sunset. And I remember, will never forget, Joanna putting my hand on her bump to feel our child moving in there, nearly ready to meet us, and listening at the same time as she told me about this idea she’d had, it had just come to her now, the first stirrings.

“It was an idea for a show, a show of her very own. About all this – and she pointed with her Coke cup at the world outside our car. Joanna’s words, as I felt the baby kick, I’ll never forget, all those lights just coming on, all starting to shine, all those tiny lives. Her own eyes were shining, and I told her so. That was the moment Dan the Can Man was conceived. Three weeks later our beautiful baby Dylan was born.

“As I say, we had our moments.”

Joanna had never originated a show, had always worked for hire on other people’s projects. Now she worked with Bill and their university friend Clayton to create a pilot episode, on the strength of which the BBC commissioned a series of six 10-minute episodes, aimed at a 4-8 age group. The first series aired in March 1996 and was an immediate hit.

Parents began calling the BBC to ask if there were plans to release Dan the Can Man on video or DVD. Something about Joanna’s creation – and it was Joanna’s really, before it was anyone else’s – made it hugely popular right from the off, and well beyond its intended age group.

A hastily commissioned second series, of 12-episodes, was an even bigger hit. The series, like Teletubbies and Rastamouse before it, seemed designed to tempt cultural commentators. There were countless columns and thinkpieces in the broadsheets, while the tabloids kept up the hunt for innuendo well beyond the point of reason.

It was assumed that Dan the Can Man, despite the good-natured simplicity of the stories themselves, said something…or represented something…perhaps reflected something. No-one seemed quite sure but trying to define it – that was the thing that kept the columnists and the panellists going.

A piece in The Guardian called it the first post-Fordist kids’ show. The Times called it Trumpton on a zero hours contract. A writer for the Daily Mail bemoaned the show’s strenuous attempts to tick every last diversity box. Art critic Brian Sewell called it a drearily faithful depiction of our current atomisation and malaise, while on the same Radio 4 panel show, comedian and activist Mark Thomas asserted that it’s like Brecht or something – and we’re all Dan the Can Man now.

Joanna Milkweed, quoted in 1997: “Ultimately it’s about a little man called Dan who goes round filling up vending machines with soft drinks, and all his little adventures on the way.”

Licensing deals were signed. There was merchandise, the figures first, then the bedsheets and backpacks. Zum4 Entertainment was formed. Money began to flow. At the centre of the whirlwind stood the central trio, Jo and Bill and Clay. They each had an area of expertise: Joanna made the sets, the models and the puppets, Clay animated them, and Bill sold the finished product.

They were a team, a family. They had trust and they respected each other. Then Joanna walked away. She left behind her company, her lucrative creation, her career in TV, her life in London, and her husband. She was 41.

The two children, Dylan and Hazel, Joanna kept with her.

Milkweed bought a house near Cardiff and they lived there together, just the three of them, until the children grew up and left home. Joanna never remarried, never – as far as we can tell – embarked on another romantic relationship.

Bill Kenzie remarried twice, was divorced twice, and died at the age of 66, having turned Zum4 into an internationally successful company, while paragliding in Crete.

After Milkweed’s return to Wales in 1999 all invitations to collaborate on projects were refused, offers of work were ignored. Old acquaintances and friendships were left behind, until no-one seemed to have any idea what had become of her.

Miles Brierley regards the loss of Joanna’s gifts to the world of film and TV as “a bloody tragedy.

“I would have loved to work with Joanna again, she was quite, quite unique. I did pester her for some years with projects, inviting her to come to the studios to look at what we were doing.

“At first she just replied with polite refusals but after about three years of me periodically pestering her with offers of work, she began replying in the form of these funny postcards she’d made herself, some cryptic picture on the front. Usually stuff like derelict phone boxes with weeds growing through the little windows. Old pubs rotting away.

“Once there was a broken television set, old tube style, smashed screen, in the middle of a messy bit of muddy wood somewhere.

“I thought, yes, well, okay. I get the picture. It’s a no, isn’t it?”

For the next 63 years, until her death last year and the opening of her house to the public earlier this year, Joanna succeeded in staying beneath the margin of the world’s notice.

The one exception to Milkweed’s absence from the public stage occurred in the year 2000, when papers carried the report of a 42 year old woman arrested for breaking and entering a storage unit in Stroud. Joanna Milkweed admitted robbing the unit repeatedly over two months, emptying it of almost all its contents before a dog-walker spotted her and called the police.

Milkweed told officers that everything she had taken – which comprised all the sets, vehicles, clothes, and puppets she’d ever made for Dan the Can Man – belonged to her. The owners of the unit, Zum4 Entertainment Worldwide, declined to press charges and Joanna kept the models. They were obsolete anyway, production of the show having moved from stop motion animation to 3D computer design, in order to keep up with international demand. Bill Kenzie told a reporter, “All she had to do was ask.”

All this is a matter of public record. These are the bare facts in the case of Joanna Milkweed, as they would appear to any casual researcher. The questions they raise are many. The most obvious are: Why did Milkweed abandon her success, her creation, and her marriage in 1999?Was it for the same or at least a related set of reasons? Why did she turn her back so completely on her profession and the friends she’d made? How or why did a previously prolific artist with an astonishing work rate subdue her creative energy for the rest of her life?What did she do with her imagination, with her her hands, for the latter 63 years of her life?

In brief, whatever happened to Joanna Milkweed?

These questions are not easily answered. A woman addicted to privacy makes a difficult subject for a biographer, and I can’t pretend to be suited for such a tricky task. My role is that of an editor, or perhaps an assembler would be more accurate. What I have assembled are simply fragments of Joanna. The writer who eventually takes on the challenge of the supremely elusive Milkweed has my respect and my sympathy. I look forward to reading the finished product.

This book aims to answer just one question: what did Joanna do with all the models she stole from the lock up?