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makahimetenshi · 1 year

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Falling or not - Paladin Danse x Sole Survivor Fanfic

This is the 1 part of a series of fics im writing lately, the order will be:

Falling or not?

May I use your shower?

Volver a tener algo

Addicted to Chems

Fooling around together

Traumas at the Commonwealth

Being awake

Since im in a rampage writing with this new ship I want to make some announcements

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and coments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive coments of wanting to know what happends next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

They were travelling together since Nate joined the brotherhood, and now since they were prepairing to build the teleport machine walking around all the Commonwealth was pretty normal, to the north to direct south, no things to do in the middle, a lot of walking, they could use ventibirds but that was a privilege that Maxson give sometimes to some people and Nate as miserly as he was, didnt want to abuse of that chances afraid of running low and needing it…and it was true, even Danse wasnt permitted to travel on ventibirds as much he wishd with years of service and a life dedicated as paladin, it was okay, part of their mission was also patrol the land and help other brothers in distress. Also Nate stop to help some of his Minutemens he encounter on the way, it was fine.

Both were heading to Sanctuary Hills, Nate needed some supplies and change some guns with others he had at…home…despite everything the man said that if he started to paid a loan for that rooft it didn’t matter if the bombs fall, it was still his home.

Danse didn’t have a problem, he feeled safe around Nate and getting some supplies for an specific task was a valid reason to move a little…and he needed to stop by a power armor station too, his power armor was low in state and needed the maitenence

Its been two weeks since Nate had the wonderfull idea to flirt and joke around a bit after Danse confessed his worries about being a good squat leader.

“you gave me something to think” said the paladin making the bombs fall again inside the knights brain

What the fuck, hows that of something to think what are you meaning with it? What are you gonna do with that info? He just ask if he was going to lean his shoulder over when he need it and wont disappear or die to not let him alone because he cared and Danse took it so personally and deep…

He said it joking like bros but the first flirt took him by surprise and really messed up with his head nononono this wasn’t his intention he said it chill and why it was still such a big thing for him too….

Ah…he may be falling? Just like that? Just with a little of reciprocate interest? Nate was unsure of his feelings but knowing that the paladin wasn’t closed to it…

He had…Nora…

He will always be Noras…

Why he would have interest in anyone in the Commonwealth? They were sick, dirty, mean, low intelligence….well that sound a bit racist but besides the Cobes family who the hell have a good life in this hell of time? He was nice, of course, he wouldn’t say those things, he understanded very well that no one can cahnge the situation and make it better enought, the destruction was too much to even try to make something on large time, they didn’t chose to be born in this horrible world and cant be misjudged by that but…

He didn’t want to be here neither, he was just in a crusade to save Shaun, letting himself go forward witout thinking much just until finding him and then…well no idea but he will figure out something, for his sake.

But there he was, getting all clumbsy because a man say yes to him in a not so clear way…wow…just right there he thought about how suppressed his feelings were…to not feel…to not love…

Will Danse say yes maybe to a third flirt? Should Nate stop thinking in such things? Just the possibility make his heart ache in confussion and make a mess but…it would be so bad?

Yes, it would be, Nora was still there, in Sanctuary Hills, waiting him and Shaun to return.

-Theres some people were we are going that you should meet, and I want you to be open mind and not shoot them please –Nate said to Danse, they were close walking in Concord, passing just the place where his…veterans event should have place if the bombs didn’t fall…

-What do you mean? –hell no more surprises

-Along with human citizens of the Commonwealth there is a supermutant named Strong, my handyrobot Codsworth, a raider name Cait…

-Why the hell you choose that company to leave in your hometown where theres people you want alive

-Shup up I paid Codsworh expensive with my credit card and 200 years later it was worth every penny, Strong is there because he likes to smash things and around Sanctuary Hills theres two points that often catchs raiders attention as a pottencial base, Concord, were we are walking now and a mine no so far away.

-But theres no raiders around here –Danse looked everywhere, he see bodies, yes, bodies of raiders, bodies he cant care any less and wouldn’t even give a look to inspect more, their lifes were worthless for him, still it wasn’t a rampage of bodies like you see next to buildings in the Commonwealth.

-That’s Strong work, if he sees leather and spikes, he smashes, same with the mine, we clean and a few weeks later some other new group appears, I honestly don’t like to kill them, I try to persuade them when im with Strong to leave, but raiders doesn’t ration, they don’t get reasons, they don’t wanna negociate…so Strong smashed –even for Danse, Nate sometimes have a dark mind about the value of life for…some people…he didn’t like to kill but he had a really quick way to decide that if someone is pissing off, bullet on the brain goes- im not always around, I cannot let some random raiders take my home, as far as I investigated with Cait the ones that often comes are non organized groups, from other parts of the Commonwealth, clearly they are not getting the news about the Supermutant doing purges on Concord and the mine...so if they are not listening to reasons when im around…let Strong smash

-Arent you afraid of the supermutant loosing control or anything? They are not very sm –Nate quickly moved his head, denying.

-Strong is a smart supermutant, the first one I know besides Virgil, a poet who lives in a post here in the commonwealth try to spread a word to educate them in philosophy an lectures…it worked just on him, the rest of his mutant family imprisioned both, knewing totally what they were doing…I came in a distress help from the poet in the radio and…we killed all his supermutant family…together…just to get out of there…-Nate sounded a bit his nose, knowing that at telling his story he zooned out a bit, sometimes, he zooned out, speaking of this horrors was good for the soul, he liked having someone to talk to that would understand the situation, like first hand, it wasn’t a fantastic tale for Danse like it was for Codsworth, sometimes he tries to express his things to some other person and it sounds like fantasy, difficult to imagine and understand, so many horrible details and non real situations…but they were very real…

And Danse understand, imagine and if he doesn’t get it he really tries, he doesn’t avoid the subject, he values his experiences at least to make a lesson or an opinion…

Danse have field experience, he see things and can perceive them as possible and sometimes even normal, unlike people, human people, normal people who just try to survive everyday and work just…understanded that this things can happen…but tries to avoid them, tries to not live and suffer them, most of them just live with the filth and the poberty, but try to avoid the danger.

Nate cant do that, he was always on the mouth of danger, at least until he find Shaun…

-Have you ever do another thing with the supermutant? Other that doesn’t involve killing or the promise of killing –even if there was always the promise of killing in every corner of the wasterlands….

It wasn’t like Danse was trowing mean vibes or wanted to discuss the man but you can keep a low intelligence individual by promising things that will offer instant gratification and it will obey as long it last…

-He does other chores, yes, sometimes the residents ask him help or I send him to other settlements –Danse noded a hmmmmmm pretty surprised-So he is one of the things I will ask you to not be mean at, Strong saved my life a lot of times, supermutand and all but he is a good partner

What a definition of good partner was that, Danse smiled, he could get jelous

-Tell me about the other two…

-Well Codsworth is a handyrobot I bought as a surprise gift for Nora when she was pregnant at home with Shaun, I was away still on service so I wanted to…make my presence…Codsworth was the first face I see at exiting vault 111…it was a relief to see him at home but…it was all an illusion, nothing was right –Nate was talking with a shady voice again, it was hard for him to talk about the prewar most of the times…-I know in the brotherhood we are not fond of robots, since I didn’t see many on service or helpers, but Codsworth is my robot and he has an awesome personality, so please, be nice, don’t shoot, hell be respectfull with you –Danse noded, again not convinced but oh well it was just a robot…

-Then a rider? Any other surprise?

-Well not for today…as I know, I haven’t been here in three weeks…Her name is Cait, I found her in the combatzone and we had…such a strange encounter…-the paladin raise an eyebrow- I have to confess, if you wanted to shoot someone, but please do not, it would be her…she is…strange…

-What kind of strange are you talking about? A smart supermutant is strange to me

-She is always making weird sexual jokes and mocking at me…and she gets mad fast, really low tempered…we travel a few times to do some works and I didn’t like the vibes…so I gave her a house and a nice place to stay…

-That doesn’t sound smart from you, what if she is violent?

-Theres Preston and Sturges around, also Codsworth has a really nice knifes –didn’t he said he was only a handyrobot?- I think she is just weird, I cant give her a psycologist but at least good conditions to rest and chill…as I said we worked together a few times and we have each other back so…consider it a payback if she is still there…the last four times I was here she was staying, doing things around up and there for the settlement and the neightbords…so…she is a help, I just don’t like being around, you know, people some times have or not chemistry with other people

-Things can happened –said Danse, resting a bit of importance, despite the supermutant it wasn’t that bad, just a misbehaved asshole, nothing he didn’t handle before

-We are close, don’t stop by red rocket, we have our own power armor station in Sanctuary –Nate said at looking at the big red rocket at the distance, it was a very nice reference to find his hometown, Danse nodded next to him and in a few minutes they were crossing the bridge to Sanctuary, hands up.

It was strange coming up home with your hands up? It surely is but Sturge set up those torrets at the entrance to do that exact thing, it you are hands up you may not be necessary pacific but at least you cant shoot at no one, it was also a safe code for all the people that lived here that they were part of the community and not outsiders, outsiders are obliged to raise their hands and come in peace and they…just do it for practicity.

-Looks who is back –a woman voice emerged from behind a scrapped wooden door, passing trought running Dogmeat appear, jumping directly to Nates arms to hug, and lick, and jump and play around him at how happy it was.

Danse liked dogs, he liked seeing Dogmeat too, he never had a dog before but they were wonderfull creatures and the way his tail moved from happiness at seeing Nate was cute, it makes his heart happy to see that.

-Its that the way to receive the general? –Nate was on the floor caressing and playing with Dogmeat, grabbing his nose and pocking it .

-Are you going to say anything to Preston?

-I can, im the general –Danse looked at them talking…it wasn’t that bad…

-You were away from a long time!

-Well the castle is pretty far away from here…

-You know who is going to have a blast now you are here? Longfellow! I don’t know why that old gag gets so happy around you

-Because he uses every special ocation as an excuse to drinks

-Touche, lets get in

So this was the raider Cait? She wasn’t that bad.

-Well be staying here for a few days

-Who is your friend? Another one you recluted for Sanctuary?

-No, he already has a home, his name is Paladin Danse –Nate pointed at him and Danse saluted politely, the redhead came a step closer to him and took a look from toes to head.

She was cute, cute factions, cute face, very delicate.

-Theres nothing like the smell of power armor grease and testosterone –she said, making Danse smile at how occurent that comment was.

-The aroma is rather…pungent…

Nate, who was in the middle of them became…STILL…FROZEN…

Nononononononono were they flirting? Nonono he didn’t ask for that nooooo hes been daydreaming with the paladin and he make the mistake to introduce him to a hot chick he said he didn’t like…

Calm calm down…he said some nasty things he doesn’t have to like her…

That last one stay on Nates mind as he walked inside the settlement, letting them talk not wanting to be there anymore…

And what if he does? Danse wasn’t his...and he was Noras…

What a terrible mistake! He should go to another settlement! He didn’t have it clear with his own feelings to now feel bad about…loosing? Danse but…what was he loosing? He didn’t do…No…he did…but no enough. If he chooses the cute girl…well he didn’t have a chance neither in his sleep!

Oh this was bad bad bad, just a few hours ago he was wondering about that time he flirted twice with Danse asking himself if it was okay to take it to seriously and now…he enter in panic because he get jelous at the minimum interaction with someonelse suresuresure he was okay about Haylen because DANSE ITSELF said she was just a member of his squad but oh my he never thought in third parties…

He looked back, and at seeing them still talking in front of the door his hands went to his hair, taking a big sight before accelerating his steps.

-Come on boy, lets talk to Preston –he called to Dogmeat and walk away from the scene, he didn’t wanna see that anymore, cant deal with it

Danse do as Nate told him, move around, use the facilities, talk to people and feel comfortable, because why the hell not, if he invited the man to the Prydwen where all his family, reputation and life was why he cant be around his hometown? So he did, he eat some because everybody knows that Nates friend are everybodys friend and are fucking kinda obligued to be nice apparently, use the power armor station, take a look at Nate collection of power armors…

What a waste…so many scattered around the Commonwealth, repaired and everything but out of use because Nate wont find himself comfortable inside one…and because he had the power fist or GRA or something he didn’t paid to much attention…

-So you are relying on the supermutant help only? –Danse was trying to be nice, not be despitefull as he smashed some aluminium to repair his power armor chest.

-I know what you are trying to do, so im going to be patient to you –Sturges approatched him while he was repairing some turrents that went down the other day- we are still here okay?

Yeahyeahyeahyeah of course not everycorner of the Commonwealth was militarized like the Prydwen and that didn’t make them shitholes…but they were…but he cant say it because people gets offended…I mean Nate shared those thoughts but never said them loud, in fact apparently they get along because the man have high standars that right now the Prydwen have less or more to satisfy, like hot showers. Of course, high standars for him and all the habitants of the wastelands, for Nate it was basic lifestyle before the bombs fell, but right now they were highstandars, if you let the man talk he was so hatefull of life in the wastelands in general…

He had reasons tho, he understanded and was able to imagine despite being unable to do anything about it, imagine living in one word and waking up in another totally different…

And then see your wife getting shot and kill.

And your baby kidnapped.

Nate was a hard man, difficult to understand, luckily, for him it didn’t turn out so harsh to do.

-Yes, theres Preston, you, Longfellow, Cait…some other settlers...

-Some Minutemens that often come by, we may rely a lot on Strong but we are thought too

-I don’t doubt it but neither of you have military training and the equipment you have here is…

-We scrap as much we can, this are the resources the Commonwealth gives us, the general helps a lot too –Danse slurpred some saliva, better talk carefull around a man who respect his superior.

-Most of you all don’t know how to shoot a different type of gun, you are not gunners or an organized group

-Well we haven’t been here for a lot of time neither, it takes a lot of work to build practically from 0 with your bare hands, Preston and his old team were the ones that help us to not die when out home was attacked by gunners, now that you mention it

Danse take a breath, he wasn’t handling well the conversation.

-Im just saying that you may want all to learn some training about shooting and avoiding, not rely on the help of a supermutant

-Strong is a good fella –not like Sturges was denying his point but he will stand for the creature that was keeping their home safe.

-How can you trust that his damaged brain by the VEF will always stay like this? One day he could lost the reason and…

-We trust –Sturges said, looking back at him –We have a way to trust him, don’t expect you to understand –how could he explain a foranger that Mama Murphy told him that everything will be right with the supermutant? That she has visions that are always alright? That she wants to be constantly drugged to have that visions? It didn’t sound right to explain to an outsider, no matter how much of a friend of the general he was

Danse didn’t feel comfortable, didn’t understand the way of people who didn’t use the reason and possibilities…when there was danger in everycorner, everybody should be more carefull.

-You need to finish the wall on the river right? –Sanctuary had fences in process to be finished all around the old neighborhood

-What about i?

-Why didn’t you fence the water area?

-Oh Nate didn’t want to cut around the water, he preffer to expand that leaving the river out, I said that doing that we may have the river increasing one day in a rain and have a problem but he said that the fences we made may not be enough to seal the waters, not hermetic enough, that we need to find concrete to make real walls, dig very very down the earth to really seal…I suggested that the gunners have those kind of walls for strategic and shooting points so the proyect of finishing the fence is delayed until we figure out whats best, if stealing a camp of runners or finding a place with that much concret and cement…which I believe is difficult, is a short resource, its really a treasure to find a bag of concrete ready to make so his idea has a really difficult execution…like I said, delayed

Rest of the afternoon he repaired his power armor and went to take a bath of…cold water…they have a purified water machine so at least it wasn’t radioactive but it wasn’t a pleasant bath and the nights at the Commonwealth were cold, at least they managed to make clean beds and sheets, cleaner than in the Prydwen even.

He didn’t saw Nate until night, he was talking to the old gag Longfellow, just talking, in the settlement they all eat together in an oriel they put at the street so first, they don’t waste much wood, they don’t make much lights or smoke, they can count properly the quantity of food used each day for inventory purposes.

If they are eating in the street they can keep an eye everywhere and not be exposed to a surprise attack while they were enjoing the evening, poor? Sure, efficient? Well…not so much…the best thing they can do with the little amount of people they have? At least give them that credit to have…

The night fall, Danse see the supermutant for the first time walking around Sanctuary, according to what Cait said to him he went nearby the settlement. It was huge, and it reminded him of Cuttler, his old friend…the ticking on his hand to grab his laser rifle and shoot him were huge but…he wouldn’t do it, he was ask to not, people trusted that thing and he had no right to…impose the brotherhoods ideals…

Then he saw Nate, talking chill in a table full of diverse people, sharing a meal.

He may be dissobeing the brotherhood by letting that evening happen, by letting that supermutant alive just because a vault man ask him…

Lets just say he was in a Minuteman territory and preffer to obey and take in consideration their rules on their land to not cause a diplomatic problem…yes…that could work…after all the Commonwealth wasn’t the Brotherhood territory…there were here just to help and fight the institute…

He was getting soft around that man.

The next day Nate expend the morning in bed, rolling around looking at the open ceiling. Yes, he was tired, again it was a long trip, yes, he deserved the rest, yes, everybody will understand if he expend the day on bed and not ask him if he was sick or hurt or in pain or anything…he gave Preston the command to please not be disturbed…

His mind keep thinking about yesterday…nononono what did he do…he cant force the man to like him, he wasn’t even sure if that’s what he wanted but definetly he didn’t want to loose a chance! Even a small chance…

Why was his brain doing that to him…only a few interactions and a pinch of jelousy made him terrible unsure if he wanted to forget about the man or marry him…

It was even okay to have this kind of feelings? To let himself grow a feeling? Love was a necessary human feeling, and the Commonwealth since he wake up wasn’t a place for sentimental creatures but…to be loved and cared…Kellogg took away that possibility when Nora was shoot in front of him…he missed it…he missed her…god he was a mess..

But Danse…he didn’t plan to die on his arms and let him alone, he find him to be a good partner with experience in fighting and surviving…it was a worry less wich is a lot, of course, he worried, he cared, but how different it was to be serene around someone you know it wouldn’t die so easy that someone you don’t know…or don’t trust on his habilities…or know his lack of habilities. He needed that calm over his shoulders to move forward in this hostile word…He needed someone strong, not to rely, but at least to trust they were going to be okay.

Ah…he may be falling? Yes yes yes hell yes he was…he falled…completely unsustented but he falled…

He wanted Danse, but there wasn’t a how or when…it just have to develop…

A heavy feeling pressed on Nates chest, making difficult to breathe even completely relaxed in his bed looking at the ceiling, this had happen before.

He sighted and went up the bed to dress, he knew how to deal with this.

Afternoon, Danse was looking for Nate not because he had a reason but its been 24 since they separated and…well it wasn’t his home he didn’t feel completely comfortable in a place he didn’t know with a people he didn’t actually like…Looked everywhere, the place wasn’t that big, looked in everysingle house, even being uncomfortable around…

There was a woman this time at the entrance of Sanctuary, Dogmeat was with her, she had a rifle and apparently was patrolling at the gate.

-Hello –Danse called, she watched at him-do you know if the general come out? –he wouldt leave him…

-He is still around here, Preston tells me when we are waiting for someone familiar, despite the minutemans –Danse saluted and went back, ok, Preston was the second in command so it was a good idea to ask him.

The man was inside the house he claimed as his, even if he made guards and watchs frequently around.

-Welcome to my place –said Preston, it make Danse a bit unconfortable they keep the illusion of doors…and windows living in a place where everything was open with a lot of leaks and seethroughts…

-Oh actually I was just looking for Nate, figured out I can ask you –Preston hold the door a moment, since he wasn’t coming inside.

-Sorry, the general isn’t avalible right now –Danse raised an eyebrow, ok he didn’t expect that

-What do you mean?

-That the general is not receiving visits right now –no kidding

-Did anything happened…? –bussy Nate? Here? The only reason he could be off is only if he was jacking off but he wasn’t on his house

-The general doesn’t need to give explaitions –so we are getting like this? My god

-There are less than 20 people here do you really wanna do this

-Do you have full access to your superiors whenever you want back there in the Brotherhood or…-touche, still, he had a secret card to play

-You know is not a good idea to leave Nate alone right? –this time, Preston raise an eyebrow

-Because…?

-Of his chems addiction…-the man went to press his forehead with his fingers, sighting. That surprised Danse, he didn’t know that the thing about chems was something he let the others know…but pretty much anyone worked with him so at some point it becomes noticeable

-I thought we were past this…-cool, this was cool, his secret card was basically “don’t you know the general has a problem with chems? We shouldn’t let him alone!” or…”He is lately having a lot of that problems of you know…chems…” it was a bit of testing to see which one fitted right but you can play with people knowledge or ignorance, in any case neither wanted Nate dead by his own stupid addiction…saving people from their stupid acts often unites interest.

-Yeah I noticed while we were camping…he uses two or three dosis at day whenever he thinks he is alone…

-Look im not supposed to tell you where the general is

-Its okay, whenever he is I can act all surprised like…oh you were here? I don’t know I was just exploring…to no say it was you…

-Yeah he is gonna know, when you arrive there you will get why

-Then why don’t you go?

-He was pretty clear about not wanting to be disturbed

-Clearly a chems problem

-I cant discuss what my general want to do on his spare time

-But you know he has a chems problem

-What do you want me to do? Follow him like I was his boyfriend? –Danse close his lips, he was right, but still, wanted to find the man. Preston sighted looking up, tired, he didn’t know this man well, the fact it came with Nate didn’t mean anything to him, he didn’t want to put in danger his general neither by letting him alone and vulnerable…there…-ill go just right behind you, don’t try anything weird

Danse didn’t know what that mean but okay, Preston went inside the house a moment and came back with two baseball bats

-Are we going far?

-Less than 200mts, but we are never sure when the croaches end down there, you know those fuckers bite hard

Danse didn’t know what to expect, but he followed Preston lead.

Getting inside a vault from the main door was…weird…pretty uncommon in fact, most of the times a situation like this appeared he was chased by some monsters but this vault was…abandoned but in a pretty good state actually.

-Why are you keeping an operational vault? Where does the energy comes from…

-Shhhhhh we are not being prescisely quiet! –Preston didn’t want to be here, if Nate asked him for some time he will but at the same time didn’t want the man killing himself on grieve and overdose…-listen up! Im just right behind you! Don’t try anything weird on the general!

Ok Preston was here because he didn’t trust, Danse can respect that, he was taking care of his superior, both were but Preston didn’t have any obligation to trust him and it was okay, they didn’t know each other and he didn’t have much intentions of knowing him either…

An operational, abandoned, energized and uncontaminated vault…what a gem…

Nate have a lot of excepcional secrets and things to discover really.

Unlike what everybody was thinking, Nate actually wasn’t doing drugs.

Didn’t feel like it. Not in the mood, not wanting.

Preston was the only one that know where to find him when he wanted to be isolated, hell just be right here…sometimes when he is overwhelmed this is the only places where he wants to stay in the entire world.

In front of Noras frozen body.

Hell just sit right in front of her, looking at her dead face…she didn’t even die in her sleep like everyone around, she died in pain with a bullet as the cryo chamber closed again, pausing in time her face full of pain…

Life drifted away from her.

Nate sobbed, looking at her

-Im…feeling lost again Nora…-a monologue, it was a monologue, always a monologue, never ever a response from her-still looking for Shaun like I promised you but…I feel like whenever Im lost have to come back at you –he was in this exact position all the afternoon, looking at her, trying to talk, to look for some advice or calm- it has only been months, awfull months but do you think I deserve…im allowed…might feel love for someonelse? –he laughted at himself, he didn’t know if he was in love or if he needed in his persona again a strong feeling like love to keep him carry on, did he wanted someone or did he wanted the motivation that love gives you everyday? He bited on his lip, didn’t know-you are still here, and you always be, never think on something elsebut…its difficult to stop this feelings from growing and you know how that turned for us so…-Nate laughted low, taking a bit mouth of air-i don’t know if its possible in this world to ever be happy again…but I know I want to love again, to at least feel love…

Walk inside a clean, untouched, empty but in a good state vault was such an experience…Preston was leading the way but at somepoint he stopped, looking back at him, the man apparently know well the place.

-You heard that? That’s the general, whatever you need to tell him do it, but don’t tell him I bring you here...-Danse nooded, looking at the direction the bat of the man was ponting, it was true, there was a human voice- ill be around but not on sight, remember, don’t do anything weird or youll regret it-Danse couldn’t physically feel that as a menace since he was so much a better fighter than him but okay, he dindt plan on hurting Nate either, so he went forward, letting the man behind.

When he enter to the room he saw Nate sitting on the floor, looking down, there was no chems or alcohol around…he was just there…sitting…the man looked at him a bit confused.

-How did you get here? –Danse was about to answer, looking around –Did Preston tell you anything?

-No –he said firmly, not wanting to be a jackass to the man who was supposly watching them-nono I came here on my own –apparently Nate has been crying, his eyes were all big and irritated

-Yeah right, Preston is the only one that knows this place, I wonder if im really a general here sometimes –the paladin looked around, there was a lot of cryo pods around and the one Nate was in front of…oh god…

-I was just worried, haven’t see you in all day and you didn’t left Sanctuary neither, I went to look for you –where all this people Nates neightbords from before the bombs fell?

-This is incredible I cant fucking ask some time for myself this is a terrible lack of respect…-Ok Danse get it, he was mad, interrupted on his grieve, he looked down, embarrassed, after all it was true he didn’t have a real reason to be bothering him, he was in right to disappear for a while if he needed.

-Im sorry, but believe me it wasn’t Preston, I came here by my own –Nate rolled his eyes and put a hand on his face- I just wanted to check if you were okay –clearly he wasn’t, but not for the reasons he thought…

Nate was mad, really angry, being disturbed in this place…his body was shaking and he had such urges to get up and smash anything…being molested while Nora was there watching him…

She isn’t really there.

-I don’t need anybodys help! Im not in danger and have for far much more experience being alone that neither of you! –Danse was surprised when the man get up and approatched him, very angered, that’s it he couldn’t let this pass as a paladin and a commander officer, he had to step on and put his best mean face to gain some authority back.

-Preston is not here! I told you! I tought you were in danger and came down here…

-You are the ones in danger here! –out of nothing and completely paralyzing the paladin Nate took out a laser pistol…his heart stopped for a moment, he never even dreamed with the man poiting a gun at him and yet…this was wrong…and he…couldn’t just fight back the knight…never thought on the possibility…less with a baseball bat…-You two have no chances down here with me, go and put those sticks onto your assholes! Im fully armor to the teeth…as I always have to be! Everymoment! –the paladin wanted to react, really react, protocol and everything he was told say that this was insubordination, that menacing an officer deserved a punishment, that this wasn’t something easy to pass but…he saw the faces of all the people on the cryo pods around and them see him, crying, yelling, trembling…

Danse sighted, not moving his eyes from him, raising his hands to let him now he wasn’t a menace

-Take as long as you need soldier-said slurping saliva-Im leaving, hoping to see you for dinner

-Just fucking leave me alone

The paladin never expect this…episode…from his knight…

Danse walked all ashamed and…frightened…to the entrance…just like they walk in how he will walk back…Preston was right, he shouldn’t try to stick his nose that deep…He meet the man at the entrance, had a sad face on, clearly heard the conversation…

-Im really sorry general, take all the time you need –said Preston as he pushed the botons to get out

-Hell have to came out eventually right? –his body still tremble at the memory of the man pointing at him, yelling…

-As far as I know, he can lock himself in the vault forever and its his right to do so…-he was gratefull that the brotherhood man really keep his word and didn’t snicht on him, even if their intentions were good…he knew this was delicate for Nate…this was a sacred place for him.

The paladin bite his tongue, he pushed his limits this time.

This was a lesson, he learned bad way to respect the boundaries, ways and rules outside the brotherhood. Not because a place was poor executed they were less than him…you are nothing while vulnerable and the disavtange of having a baseball bat vs a real gun…really make his spine shiver and hands tremble…

Never underestimate Nate again…deep down he knows that the knight wont shoot him but…it was scary to imagine a bullet on the head shoot by him…

The memory of the woman in the cryo pod came to his mind again.

This was a place for laments, pain, and sorrow. After all Danse cant imagine being sealed in a tomb like this for eternity.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14237736/1/Falling-or-not

#fallout 4 #paladin danse #paladin danse x sole survivor #fallout 4 fanfic #makahimefanfic

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years

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1x14 - The Blair B*tch Project

A new week (well not so new) and a new recap. This episode is so Mean Girls Upper east side version, and it was fun.

As usual, recap after the break

Thoughts I had while Watching the episode:

Is always such a delight to star an episode with one of Blair’s Audrey Hepburn inspired dream sequences, this one in particular is one of my all time faves though.

“You don’t have anyone” auch, also very simliar to watch said to her on the last episode :(

“I’m in mourning of my old life” I wonder how many times Blair thought that through the whole show

Chuck annoying Serena to no end will never get old.

So was this suposed to be Bart’s penthouse?

Chuck was always so charming with Lily, and it’s curious because it was genuine. Same with Eric,he was nice since the beginning, honestly the merging of the Van der Bass family is one of my fave plot points in the show.

I wonder what Serena did on spring break that she hadn’t talked to Blair.

This is why women say men are the worst, so Chuck and Nate get to be all offended by the mere sight of Blair, as if she was the only one in the wrong here.

Poor Blair, yoghurt is so sticky. Also I’m not a fan of Nate here, he finds it funny and then he’s al concerned about Jenny’s tender nature. As if.

Nice and neutral would never work for Blair the same way it works for Serena, even if she wanted to.

The way Jenny came up with a plot against Blair on the spot just to avoid an expensive dinner, like wow.

“Don’t put your dirty package on the table, If i had a dime for everytime i heard that” Same Erick, same.

Gotta love Blair and that hostess

Getting Blair to wait alone at Butler, that was brilliant Jenny, taking that dress.. not so much. She may be really smart and devious, but she still has a lot to learn.

Bart really was such a lousy dad, which in turns makes Chuck even more jaded and like to do worst, such a vicious cycle.

15000, for a custom made Valentino, auch Jenny.

Rufus is so naive here, but then again he doesn’t know Blair. Yet what she tells him about the struggle ain’t wrong.

Wow she stole the same dress twice. I guess Little J no more.

So Serena is annoyed by Chuck not only by his little pranks, but because he’s nice towards her mother and brother, that actually makes more sense in a way.

Also I love Lily’s line: “Chuck might be excentric but he’s not diabolical” it’s funny and also a bit telling of why Chuck actually likes her.

That was brilliant Blair, that Jenny cake is quite the thing. Also what the hell is she wearing.

Is ain’t wrong Rufus is kind of a hotty... for a dad.

Even though she’s being talking about the same thing non stop, it’s funny to watch Dan complain about Serena talking to much, when he suffers from verbal diarrhea half the time, but who am I to judge

Blair really is in her bitch element here.

Jenny’s argument with her dad was so real, because both on them are right in some way. It ain’t easy. And once has to be either very mature or antisocial for it not to bother you.

I’ve said it before but I love Eric and his sense of humor, and he has some of the most underrated lines on this show, even deep and hard stuff is funny

It’s awful and yet I love that sweater with the dolphins Chuck’s wearing. I also would like to know why is so easy to feel bad for Chuck Bass.

Dan’s also super critical of his dad, and I’m like is there someone out there this guy doesn’t judge?

This is one of those times I wish I didn’t know what was coming, because I still remember how curious I was to see Jenny’s plan towards Nate.

Eric is quite loyal, being mad at Serena because she drove Bart to kick out Chuck.

Well played Jenny, well played, that last look she gaves Blair is sooo good, it’s the moment when Blair really realizes how worthy of an adversary Jenny is.

I love the ending of this episode, is one of my faves. It ends with an unlikely victory for Jenny, a tad of mistery, and a great song.

For real, I love “Sour Cherry” by The Kills.

When I think about my favorite episodes in S1 this one normally doesn’t came up, but I think it should. Is a really good one. Jenny’s the star of this episode and weirdly I don’t mind. I love her dynamic with Blair, especially in the first two seasons and this is the episode when it really takes off. This episode is also the start of the Van der Bass family which I also love for many reasons.

So Jenny and Blair, at the time of this episode this was one of Blair’s lowest points, she lost her Queen B title and not only that but she’s shunned out by everyone, even getting yoghurt dropped on her head, what a change. She says at the start of the episode that she’s in mourning of her old life, and while it was meant to be just a display of her dramatic personality, this is really the end of her old life, the Blair we met in the pilot had a completely different future ahead of her, pristine reputation, not as single crack in her pefect image, with a blue blooded boyfriend and a place at the top of the hierarchy, that Blair never came back entirely, and that’s good. Obviously it will take her the rest of the show to grow up and mature, but I like seeing her fight for what she wants in a way that lets her devious brain shine, and she got quite the adversary.

Jenny is in many ways the perfect rival for Blair. In theory Jenny shouldn’t be a formidable oponent in the way she is, she has no connections, no name, no money, and yet she plays the game almost better than anyone, she’s smart, ambitious an cunning, which are traits she shares with Blair. She’s also a hardworker and willing to do what it takes to get what she wants. This episode she shows how brilliant she because it was almost impossible to bounce back from getting caught with that dress she stole, and one can tell Blair thought that was a sound victory and she can’t quite believe when Jenny shows up with Nate and has claimed back her spot. It was great to see, and I some ways even I love Blair I find myself rooting for Jenny, she’s that good.

HonestlyJenny can give Blair a run for her money and yet I’m not sure she entirely realizes it, because Jenny is fighting against Blair’s shadow in her mind, she can win battles but I get the feeling she doesn’t believe she can win the war. In part because she still has a lot to learn, but in some ways I think Jenny feelsi at disadvantage againgst Blair in a similar way Blair feels toward Serena: a rival that is ahead on the race just by virtue of who she is, with envy and admiration in equal parts.To me their dynamic is interesting through the whole show because Blair even if the doesn’t want to admit it fears Jenny too, a new younger queen in the making, with the ability to knock her dow even it seems unlikely, it’s a tale as old as time, a bit like Queen Elizabeth the first and Mary Queen of Scots. And this is just the first episode of this battle,I really love this part of the show.

The other big plot this episode is the merging of the Van der Woodsen and the Basses which is great because we get to see more of these two broken families and learn more about them. Serena is obviously not happy about this,particularly the part about living with Chuck; at this point we know they were all friends before, but I got the impression out of the group they liked each other the less, with a poor opinion of each other. Their behavior throught the whole season reinforces that and honestly through the season Chuck has not given her even one small reason for her to like him, and I feel part of the reason Chuck was so eager to plot against Serena with Blair was because he got a first row sit to the mess she left when she run for boarding school, with a heartbroken Nate and a devasted Blair. And yet while Serena constantly sees the worst ih him, he’s actually trying for once, as hard to believe as that is for her.

If this episode made one thing obvious is how much Chuck always wanted to have a family, he’s genuine in his compliments to Lily as extravagant as they may seemed and he’s really good with Eric too, they took really quick to each other because they have felt inadequate at some point or another, he eventuanlly makes the effor with Serena too, as Eric explains to her when he gives her a message from him (which backfires, but no the point) and for all his bad qualities Chuck can be a very non-judgemental person when he wants it, this episode for instance Serena gets him kicked out of the penthouse and yet as soon as she apologizes and ask for his help he let’s it go. Because as we see his relationship with Bart is awful, his father always expects and believes the worst of him, and even when he’s nice it ends up being not genuine, and so for the first time via the Van der Woodsens he has the oportunity to get a family life that it’s more than that.

At his core Chuck is a lonely person, which is part of the reason he latches so easily to Van der Woodsens here, sure he had Nate but that was it, and Nate as good hearted as he is not the most reliable person, it’s quite noticeable this episode, aside his new found relationship with the Van der Woodsens, since Nate has dropped their friendship he’s basically on his own in every scene this episode, even more son than Blair who was Serena, even if Serena is flighty and always gets caught up in something, and sure enought the episode ends up with the mistery of who is “G”, which was intriguing the first watch because imagine a person that gets even Chuck Bass like oh no! But that’s for next episode.

Randoms bits I’ve noticed

The timing of this episode is sort of weird. Last episode seemed like it was the end of January or something like that, and now this one is after spring break, and since thanks to gossip girl wikia, we know Jenny’s birthday is on March 30th, and Serena says to Blair about her “3 week old scandal” and I’m like, I mean it’s possible, but then the first to episodes after the holidays had to be like really way too long after the holidays, and that doesn’t makes much sense either.

We also got a new location for the school, I sort of like the other one better.

When the girls throw yoghurt on Blair’s head, all the yoghurt cups are turne upside down.

At the top of the piano there’s a picture of Chuck as a little kid (which is actually Ed), guess Bart wanted to a least gave the impression he care. I do love the fact the show asked the actors for photos of themselves when they were kids. The ones on top of the piano at the Waldorfs are pics of Leighton as a kid.

Feel like saying it againg, but this was such a good ending:

#gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #1x14

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cncobby · 5 years

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Fluffy ABC’s series: Joel

happy new years my loves! i hope 2019 is good to all of us (its still 2019 in california but eh close enought)

so this is a new series (maybe) that i’m thinking of starting!! i got inspo while browsing through tumblr and i saw a couple other fandom writers for marvel do this so I wanted to do it for Joel at least bc he my baby but if you guys like this i’m thinking of doing it for the rest of the boys?? lmk what you think!!

i thrive on positive (or any) feedback so hearing what you guys think motivates me and lets me know how i’m doing so i can write more!!

A = Attractive: what do they find attractive about the other?

For you its definitely his hair, you love running your hand through his curls and playing with his hair while you guys are all cuddled up. He loves your smile, the way it lights up the room when he makes you laugh and how your nose scrunches up just slightly when one of the boys tells a bad joke.

B = Baby: do they want a family? why/why not?

He most DEF wants a family with you. We know homeboy wants seven (why this specific number I have NO idea) but he always daydreams about this all the time. Sometimes you guys will just be sitting on the couch, cuddling and watching Netflix or something when he’ll suddenly be like “so when we have kids do I have any say in their names?” And you’re jokingly like “boy who told you I’m giving you kids” he’s like “um duh we’re having seven. Three girls and four boys ... We’ll have to buy a big house since they’re not gonna wanna share when they’re older.”

C = Cuddle: how do they cuddle?

Like a fucking koala. Literally wraps you around him like a blanket. His head below yours so you can play with his curls. This is his favorite when you guys are lying in bed, trying to fall asleep, or just waking up. He’ll hold you against his body if you try to leave “five more minutes baby, then we’ll get up”

D = Dates: what are dates with them like?

They're super lowkey, but that doesn’t mean they’re anything less than special. You both love nights in since he doesn’t get to spend much time at home with you, so any chance you guys get to cuddle up and catch up on tv while eating your fave foods is always a good time. Its also a good idea so you guys don’t end up getting mobbed/bombarded by fans or paparazzi. Even though most of your dates are at home, he goes out of his way to make them special and surprises you every time. Whether it be ordering food from you favorite restaurant, or hiring a private chef, or sprinkling rose petals on the floor, he knows exactly how to bring a smile to your face.

E = Everything: “you are my ____” (e.g my life, my world…)

“You are my sunshine.” He always compares your smile to the sun.

“Why do you always say I’m like the sun?”

“Because you’re the biggest star in my solar system”

“that was so cheesy”

“yeah but you love it”

F = Feelings: when did they know they were falling in love?

I feel like it’d be super random and unexpected, like he was having a bad day so you spammed him with goofy pictures and videos and he just felt his heart burst with this overwhelming amount of fondness for you. He looked at your face with that stupid filter on it and just thought at how sad he’d be if he wasn’t able to see that everyday.

G = Gentle: are they gentle? If so, how?

I feel like during sex he’d def be more the slow and sensual type. He loved taking his time with you and seeing all the different sounds and expressions you made when he’d kiss you in certain places. Not to say he wouldn’t be rough at certain times, but I feel like he’s the more gentle love making type.

H = Hand/Hold: how do they like to hold? how do they like to hold hands?

He likes to hold your hands, but a lot of the time he’ll grip your waist while your arm is slung around his. He likes the closeness of this since he doesn’t get to walk around like this with you all the time.

I = Impression: first impression/s

So you were a low-key super fan of them, like running a blog about them super fan but when you saw him randomly at a coffee shop you were like “oh fuck do I ask him for a picture?? Do I respect his privacy?? WHAT DO I DO” but u ended up like just sitting there and not picking any solutions.

He saw you sitting there alone and was like hooooly who that be. A part of him hoped that you recognized him and were a fan and wanted a picture so that you’d come a talk to him but after he stood around for a few minutes he was like “fuck she has no clue who I am” so as he was walking towards you someone accidentally ran into him and his drink spilled. All . Over . Your . shirt. You were like “holy fuck” and his brain went into panic mode and was like omg I’m so sorry are you ok?? Here take my jacket and legit stripped off his jacket and put it around you.

And then it was like a really awkward period where you were like silent and petrified and he was panicking bc “oh fuck i spilled a drink on the prettiest girl i’ve ever seen.” But then you eventually were like “...well this wasn’t how I was gonna ask my favorite singer for a picture, but...” And he feels such relieft bc OMG she doesnt hate me. You end up getting your picture (and his number!!) and leave smelling like coffee, but with a cute new hoodie and potential boyfriend.

J = Joker: are they into pulling pranks?

He’s not that big of a prankster. The only reoccurring prank he does is surprise you by showing up randomly at your work/school/house when he’s supposed to be on tour. He prob tells super corny jokes ESPECIALLY when you’re having a bad day so you smile at how bad they are.

K = Kisses: how do they kiss?

Lots of quick smooches, one quirk is that he loves to kiss the back of your hand. Every so often, he’ll steal your breath with a slow, deep kiss that leaves you dizzy.

L = Love: who says I love you first?

Well after he realized that you were a fan he knew that you loved him but you were afraid to say it too early out of fear that he’d think it was just fangirl admiration. You don’t officially say it until he does, but he hears you whisper to it after you thought he had fallen asleep.

M = Memory: their favourite moment together

When he brought you home to his family for the first time, and you just fit. His mom loved you (thank god you were both freaking out over this) and his brothers instantly bonded with you as if you were their sister. His brothers teased him to no end, but were happy they finally had a sister to love and care for.

N = Nickel: do they spoil?

He looooves spoiling you. But not only materialistically, even though he loves to buy you gifts. He knows you prefer smaller more meaningful gifts than extravagant ones, so he’ll always buy things with your name on it from all the countries he visits, or sends you one of his hoodies with his cologne sprayed on top so it’s like he’s home with you.

O = Orange: what colour reminds them of their other half

For some reason, he has a habit of buying you things that are yellow. Once you asked him why, and he said that it reminded him of your smile, the way you light up a room when you laugh or giggle. Also goes along with how he says you’re his sunshine.

P = Petnames: what pet names do they use?

Lots of babe/baby, especially when he’s whining for your attention.

“hey babe what hat should i wear?”

“baby come cuddle with me”

“look at how cute you are look at how cuuuute my baby is”

He calls you angel on certain occasions, like if you’re mad at him or when you’re having a bad day and he’s trying to cheer you up.

“angel whats wrong?”

“i’m sorry angel, you know I didn’t mean it like that”

“look angel!! this is how happy you make me”

Q = Quaint: what is their favourite non-modern thing?

He loves black and white silent movies. You guys will often call/facetime each other and watch these movies together, making stupid comments throughout the movie to each other.

R = Rainy Day: what do they like to do on a rainy day?

You guys loved to cook/bake on rainy days. Lots of reenacting scenes from your favorite musicals and doing lots of duets of your favorite songs together. (This results in lots of burned cookies)

S = Sad: how do they cheer themselves/each other up

Lots of times he’ll just call you because he’s on tour and will go on a long rant about whatever’s bothering him. But if he’s there with you, you’ll instantly be able to tell if he’s upset bc he’ll just look really pouty and in those times the thing he loves is when you lay his head down on your lap and just gives him a scalp massage while asking whats bothering him.

T = Talking: What do they love to talk about/hear you talk about?

He really likes it when you talk about school/your job because although he loves his life sometimes its nice to feel like a normal person. He likes to talk about all the dumb shennanigans the boys do when on tour and all the beautiful places he’s seen.

U = Unencumbered: What helps them relax?

Sounds corny and predictable, but singing. He loves doing covers of all songs, and when he’s feeling stressed he likes to cuddle and serenade you.

V = Vaunt: what do they like to show off? What are they proud of?

He loves to show off your couple pics to all the boys. They often find him just scrolling through his photo albums looking at the pictures you guys took together. “Look guys, look how photogenic we are.” “Bro we know you’ve shown us that picture like a million times”

W = Wedding: when, how, where do they propose?

It was about two years after you guys started dating, and you were talking to him about which job offer to take, the current job you had allowed you to travel with him if you wanted to go on tour with him, but the new job you were offered was a definite step up from the one you had, but wouldn’t give you as much freedom. He obviously wanted you to take that one, but you were worried that it’d put a strain on your relationship since you wouldn’t be seeing each other that often and your trust issues started to creep into your mind when all of a sudden he was like “Well would being married make you feel better?”

And you’re like “…did you just”

A smirk starts to creep up on his face, “Did I just ask you to marry me? I think so, what do you think angel? Wanna get hitched?”

You low-key wanna smack that smug smirk off his face but you’re too stunned and just nod. “Yeah I’ll marry you dork”

Later you guys are cuddling after you ‘celebrated’ your engagement and you’re like ... “You do know your mom is gonna kill you for proposing like this though” and he’s like “FUCK you right”

X = Xylophone: What’s their song?

Sun and Moon from Miss Saigon. The lyrics represented your relationship so well, and you’d always ask him to sing this to you if you weren’t able to fall asleep

Y = You the ___ to my ___ (e.g the cookies to my milk, the macaroni to my cheese)

He’s a dork so he’d prob make some corny joke like

“You’re the bomb to my diggity”

The boys overhear him say that to you and are like bro PLEASE never say that again

Z = Zebra: if they wanted a pet, what pet would they get?

We know his family already has three dogs so I’m sure he’d get another dog! Especially to keep you company when he’s away on tour or doing band stuff!! Bonus scene: I can so see him coming home randomly like “��I got us another dog” and you’re like

“JOEL WE TALKED ABOUT THIS”

“ok listen but I went to go get more dog food and he just looked SO SAD”

i hope you guys like it!! its longer than most of my headcannosn and is a different style but i had so much fun writing this and its dear to my heart so show her some love <3

#cnco #cncowners #cncowner #cnco imagines #cnco fanfic #joel pimentel #christopher velez #richard camacho #erick brian colon #cnco headcanon #fluffy abc's

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l000ey · 5 years

Text

red: the new era → one

A big dream for a little girl

Season one, episode one

"When I was little—" The camera began to record a nearly empty set, the only thing that filled it was Red sitting in a chair and some gadgets that were used for sound or recording directly. It focused on the girl, who was looking at the floor while moving for a comfortable pose in that chair, when she found it she continued " —I didn’t have many friends, to say none. I was born in a bad neighborhood of Tokyo where, if you were a boy, what was expected of you was that the highest you get in life will be be part of the Yakuza and if you were a girl then—" She let out a bitter laugh "—you were expected to get married with a Yakuza and you will stay at home giving him children and making his food. My family didn’t agree with those ideals that there were in that area but we didn’t have enought money to pay another house in a nice neighborhood with children playing in the street and full of flowers and laughter, so we had to put up with it ".

"Today I made a new friend, Mommy!" A seven-year-old Donghyuk exclaimed holding onto his mother's hand, who gave him a sweet smile.

"That's great, dāri!" She pulled at his hand acting just as excited as he was. Both wore a big smile while the little Dara of five-year-old, holding on to her mother's other hand, walked in silence "And what's his name?"

"Uh" The Rae's firstborn looked straight ahead, searching his brain for the name of the boy who had asked him if they could be friends. He looked at his mother with a frown and drooping eyes, expressing his sudden sadness "Mommy, I don’t remember his name".

Her mother let out a laugh, extending her index finger to stroke his face without letting go of his hand or her daughter's "Don’t worry, dāri. Tomorrow you will see him again and you can ask him".

"Okay" He murmured and turned his head as soon as he heard a dog barking, quickly forgetting the subject. Anzu raised a funny eyebrow at seeing her son being so distracted, turned her head to see her daughter, who was in total silence.

"And you, xiǎolóng?" After hearing the chinese nickname the girl raised her head, pushing her brown hair away from her face letting to see a confused expression since she wasn’t listening to the conversation her mother and her brother were having.

"Uh?".

"Have you made friends today?" She stroked a strand of her long hair before the girl shook her head. She frowned when she saw Dara look away from her "Why, xiǎolóng?".

"You know why, mom" She replied, fixing the strip of the little red backpack she carried on her back. She made a slight pout and looked at the ground watching her little shoes move, right, left "They think I'm weird".

Anzu pressed her lips between them making them look like a thin line, sighed and stopped walking making both little ones stop to watch her. She let go of Donghyuk's hand and crouched down to the same height as Dara, placed both hands on hdf cheeks red from the cold and gave her a smile "They don’t think you're weird, dāri. They are afraid of you. "

"Afraid?" She batted her eyelashes, confused by her mother's words.

"Yes, dāri" She nodded fixing her scarf "They are afraid because you don’t think like them, your thoughts and ambitions go beyond what they can imagine. And, that, dāri, it makes you very special, okay?".

Dara was going to answer but some male screams interrupted her, quickly the three turned their heads to see where the sound came from, Anzu quickly got up again taking the hands of her children when they saw that they were young men fighting over a bag of cocaine.

"That place was dangerous" She looked at the camera while playing with her left earring "I remember that sometimes you could hear, uh, shots and screams at night, the next day you went out and you could see the blood on the road. There were also a lot of people there who took drugs, probably there wasn’t a day when you didn’t see someone sticking a line of cocaine or smoking marijuana. It was like living in hell. "

The streets of Shinjuku, Tokyo, were quiet at night removing some area where there were clubs or bars where the yakuza enjoyed their free time or even continued working. At three o'clock in the morning, in the house of the Rae family, as every day they were all sleeping until a loud rumble woke the youngest member of the family.

The little five-year-old girl rubbed her eyes with her tiny hands while yawning, frowned when she heard screams and proceeded to leave her bed to go to the window not far from her bed. The red neon lights of the bar across the street were squeezed through the holes in the blinds decorating her room.

She let out another yawn causing the screams to be distorted, but as soon as she just yawned she heard them again clearly. She watched the window, hesitant to look or not.

"Curiosity is good but not when it can get you in trouble, xiaolong."

Her father's voice quickly slipped into her head but as fast as it came quickly left as Dara denied rejecting the words and moving closer to the window. With her small index fingers he removed a piece of blind and observed two men fighting in the street. One was tall and thin while the other was somewhat shorter but with more muscle mass, punching each other and struggling between them.

Then the tall one drew a gun as soon as they separated and shot the other.

Dara's green eyes widened so much that it even hurt. Her body was paralyzed, the hand that was holding the shutter fell like a dead weight.

He has shot him.

Her feet woke up and without her noticing she was quickly taken to bed. Her breathing started to go faster when she felt that the air was missing in her lungs, her eyes filled with tears and she had to hide her head in her arms.

Another shot.

And another, and another.

Dara shouted and before she could scream again the door of her room opened quickly and her parents and her brother entered the room. Her mother approached her to hug her but as soon as she felt her fingers curl into her small arm she shivered and moved away from her quickly.

Anzu sighed "Baby, I'm mom".

When she heard her voice she turned around and threw herself at her, wrapping her arms around her mother’s neck, once her face was pressed against her mother's skin she could release the tears and sobs that hadn’t been able to leave before as much as she would have tried.

Dongyul went to the window, watching as the boy who had shot the other was now pissing on the now dead body. He closed the shutter quickly when he saw Donghyuk approach him and the window, grabbed his shoulder and turned him around as he exchanged glances with his wife.

"My parents were very worried about me and my brother, they didn’t know what to do. The bills every day were more difficult to pay and my parents couldn’t find a job, they were afraid to end up living under a bridge but more afraid of thinking that my father would join the Yakuza" Her eyes traveled on the ground, looking at the tip of her right shoe and then traveling to the other, remembering her childhood "My father had a friend, he was his best friend, they had gone to school and high school together, they were like brothers. His name was Daichi, he—” She sighed trying to find the words "—he was part of the Yakuza. "

"What's up, family?" Sato Daichi entered the living room of the Rae house leaving a bag of hot taiyakis on the table on which the children were drawing.

"Uncle Daichi!" Donghyuk climbed down from his chair and ran to hug his legs making him laugh before bending over and kissing his crown.

"How are you champion?" He smiled at her and turned his head to hear the bag in which the Taiyaki were being moved. He saw Dara dragging the bag towards her and put her little hand inside the bag and then take out one of the buns, smiled at seeing her with her cheeks swollen by the amount of food "Darannie~" He hummed before placing his hand on her head and disheveled, taking a swipe of the girl "Wow!".

"Daichi let her go" The voice of the elder Rae sounded making the three look at him. Dongyul made a sign to his best friend indicating that he approached him, Daichi did it leaving the children with their paintings "Last night she saw how they shot an guy, she was very scared. Now she is very sensitive. "

"Really?" He brought both hands to his hips, watching his best friend without believing it. He grimaced "Fuck that’s bad bad, sorry hyung".

"Come" He told him to follow him and, before giving one last look to the children, he walked towards the kitchen where Anzu was sitting at the table with a lot of papers "Jagi, Dai has come".

"Uh?" The japanese looked up and when she saw her friend she got up with a slightly uncomfortable smile. "How are you, Dai?".

"Good, good." He answered by sitting on a chair and accepting the beer that Dongyul had given him. He took a look at the papers and even pushed one with his finger "And you? Hyung told me what happened last night with Darannie. "

"Oh yeah!" She sighed before letting her body fall back into the chair, ran a hand through her hair that was pulled back in a bun that was too disheveled. "It was horrible but now she’s better, thank God."

The youngest in the room raised an eyebrow "And this?" He pointed to the pile of papers in front of him, drank his beer watching as the couple exchanged glances, unsure whether to tell him or not. He gave a soft laugh "Come on hyung, noona. I am your friend, you can tell me”.

After a long sigh Dongyul spoke "We have many bills without paying, we don’t have money and it’s very possible that they take our house away from us".

The blond frowned, processing the information in his brain. As soon as he did, he thought how unjust it was, his hyung and his noona were good people with wonderful children and they didn’t deserve to have to suffer in this way.

"Hyung..." He called his attention as soon as he felt the light bulb go on over his head "I know it's not the ideal job but it would help you pay the bills and—"

"No" Anzu got up again from the table as soon as she heard him "No, no, no. My husband will not be part of that mafia you call work. No".

"But noona, you could pay the bills and they wouldn’t take your house away." They both followed her with their eyes when she started walking around the kitchen. "What is the alternative?" He asked his best friend.

"The alternative?" His bushy eyebrows wrinkled, Anzu stopped walking and Daichi stared at him obvious. He sighed sadly looking at his wife "There is no alternative".

"Exactly" Clapped giving emphasis to his words "What will you do if you lose the house?, Will you divorce again and each will take a child and go to another country?" He gave a sad smile to both "Look, i know that is not the dream job but soon you will not be able to pay for the children's school or your food or clothes, they will cut off your water, electricity and gas, and then you will live on the street. And I could never forgive myself knowing that I could have helped your life to bit collapse. "

The light-eyed woman let out a sob, quickly covered her mouth so the children wouldn’t hear. They had, she and Dongyul, come to think of what would happen if they didn’t pay the bills but hearing someone else say what their future might be made her feel like they were throwing a bucket of frozen water on her.

Dongyul looked at his wife, who was leaning against the counter crying against her hand, the dark circles of having spent sleepless nights trying to find solutions for her family every day were darker, her hair had come to lose its natural shine and her skin was paler than usual.

"I'll accompany you to the exit" He got up and left the room without checking if the japanese male followed him or not, he just walked. When he reached the door he opened it and turned around to meet his friend "Thanks for coming, Dai."

"Hyung—" Daichi tried to speak but he interrupted.

"I will not be part of the Yakuza, I know how those things work and I don’t want a day when my wife and my children are dead. Thanks for trying to help but I have to decline your offer" Sato nodded with his lips pressed in a thin line and hugged the older one.

"Let me know if anything happens, okay?" Rae nodded and separated from him before he started walking towards the stairs. When he disappeared down the hall he closed the door.

"Don’t get me wrong, music has always fascinated me. My mother used to sing lullabies to me when I was a baby, it was the only thing that calmed me down. And every day I woke up with the music my parents were listening to while they cleaned the house. I always danced or sang, even if there was no music” She licked her lips and drank from the glass of water that a girl passed to her “The music quickly became an escape route. For my 6th birthday they gave me an ipod and I always took it everywhere, I slept listening to music, I ate listening to music, homework listening music, I walked to school listening to music. There was no time when you didn’t see me listening to music, the kids at my school made fun of me because of it. I didn’t relate to anyone, it was just me and my music so the other kids thought I had some disease or that I was just a weirdo. I was bullied for not following the stereotypes of a typical japanese girl, my father was Korean, I had a hebrew name and my eyes were clearer than the others".

Her dark brown hair moved thanks to the pleasant air that ran through the schoolyard, the flowers of the cherry tree on which she was leaning fell lightly around her thanks to the light spring breeze.

Her ears were covered by her headphones although she had no music on. Dara was enjoying the solitude and tranquility offered by her place away from the other children who could be heard screaming and laughing in the distance, enjoying theirchildhood.

She sighed enjoying her time alone and the warmth of the sun, although her heart couldn’t help but jump when she heard the voice of Watanabe Annaisha, the most repellent and popular girl in the school.

"Look there is the school’s own weirdo" She heard her shrill voice and followed by the sharp laughter of the other girls "Once again listening to music, I'm sure she does it to escape the horrible life she leads".

"I've heard that she can turn someone into stone if you look her in the eye." Another girl said "Like Medusa."

"Don’t say nonsense" Annaisha sent a look to her friend making the others looked at her confused, believing that she was defending Dara. Their doubts were spent when the girl with two pigtails smiled "Medusa was beautiful, she is far from beautiful".

Little Rae's scowl frowned at her words, her small fists clenched causing her nails to press on her palms making her feel pain but not a pain as big as she felt when she heard other girls talk like that her.

"I don’t understand how your mother has let someone like that attend this school" Another of the girls spoke, she has black wavy hair, referring to the school principal.

Annaisha laughed "For her brother. Dong nii-san is a good student and very handsome” All the girls let out giggles and sighs at the mention of the Rae's firstborn son.

"She's ugly, sure she is adopted."

"There is no way in which Dong nii-san is a relative of her."

"Anyway, let's see what the boys do!" Annaisha exclaimed receiving a positive response from the others, who quickly followed her and started talking about the beautiful boys at their school.

Dara huffed trying to keep the tears from coming out. She opened her eyes and one began to slide down her cheek but before it reached her chin she wiped it roughly with the sleeve of her jacket.

"Don’t let anyone think that you are weak, you are not weak and you never will be. They are the weak ones who have an empty life that they seek to fill by getting involved with others” Her father's voice got into her head.

She sighed before cleaning her face and closing her eyes again.

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