#i have a very depressing afternoon plan of going over my bank statements to see how tf I'm burning through so much money every month fml

[quietblissxx]

[thefandomsinhalor]

The Lucky Pairs of Christmas Underwear

An Advent Calendar fic by thefandomsinhalor 

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Rating: Not Rated (it is rated as such until I finish the fic, right now it’s leaning on Mature.)

Summary: Due to heavy workloads and conflicting schedules, Sam and Dean, living in different cities, are both disappointed when it appears that they won't be able to spend the holidays together—something they had always managed to do in the past.

This turn of events, however, offers them both the opportunity to seek someone else to share their respective holidays with, and when Dean's last year crush is paired up with him at the Gift Wrapping booth, and Sam keeps running into a charming new acquaintance, by helping each other, the brothers feel hopeful that Christmas time might not be ruined after all.

Read on AO3

---

Chapter One: A Holly Jolly Time

“Dean? Hello? Did you—are you still there?”

Sitting on a very uncomfortable chair at an overpriced café, for someone of his limited means anyway, Dean swallowed hard. Still holding the phone to his ear, he lowered his eyes as he felt his heart growing heavy at the news he had just heard.

“Dean?” repeated Sam at the other end of the line.

“Yeah. Still here. Sorry. Just—I didn’t expect that.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I feel awful. It’s just—work is crazy.”

“It’s okay, Sammy. I get it. Hell, I’m in the same situation. If not worse.”

“And this is why I’m really sorry. I had agreed to be the one to—”

“Sam, stop.” He cleared his throat. “I—it sucks, but like I said, I get it. We’ve been lucky so far, but I guess that this year…” he let out a deep sigh. He couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“I promise I’ll do my best to change it, but right now, um, it doesn’t seem like I’ll be able to join you for Christmas,” Sam said in a desolate voice.

Dean nodded blankly. “Any other good news?”

Sam let out a deep sigh in turn.

“I—I just, Dean, I hate the idea that you’ll be alone for Christmas.”

“Me? I’ll be fine, Sam. What about you? What are you going to do?”

“I’ll be okay too. I’ll be at work.”

Dean lowered his phone and shook his head for a moment, and then he brought his phone back to his ear. “That’s what I mean, Sam. You, not being able to make it here because of work, deadlines and travelling schedule, that’s one thing. But to actually work on Christmas? I mean, I’m not even doing that and all I do is work.” 

“I don’t have a choice. And honestly, it’s just, you know, one day. For a few hours. Which is really annoying when said like this, but...Work will be a nice distraction. And we can still talk. And skype for the rest of the day if you want. It’s ridiculous, but we can do it. I was almost going to suggest that we postpone Christmas and meet up soon after, but….”

“Nah. I mean, even if I knew for a fact that we could do something in the following week, I feel like we would have missed it. It would still be cool, but you know.”

“That’s what I thought too,” agreed Sam. “But we should do something for New Year’s Eve. I’m definitely working on that.”

“All right. Work will still be nuts on my end, but it should have diminished a bit by then. Or maybe I could make it to your end this time.”

“Dean, no. I—unless you let me help you out with money—”

“No,” blurted out Dean.

“—but I know you won’t agree to it,” said Sam, sighing.

Biting his bottom lip, Dean pondered on Sam’s suggestion. “I’m not saying yes, but I’ll think about it,” he brought himself to say.

“You will?”

“Just because I haven’t seen your freaking face for far too long now. But still. Not a definite yes.”

“But you’ll consider it?”

“Yeah. But it’s still too early in the month to have a clue of what the situation’s going to be at that point. So, I’ll leave it to that for now.”

“All right. That’s great,” said Sam.

Dean could hear how happy Sam was at the idea, so he decided that he should make an effort to make it happen.

“And Dean, even if for whatever reason that doesn’t work out either, I promise I’ll visit you soon, okay?”

“All right, Sammy. But don’t worry. I’m—it’s disappointing, but I know you tried. It will be okay.”

“Thanks Dean. I—thanks for understanding.” There was a long pause, and then Sam asked, “So, besides that? Anything new?”

Welcoming the change to a less depressing topic, Dean said, “Not really.”

“What about work? Is the holiday frenzy rising?”

A slightly less depressing topic.

“The frenzy is settling in, all right,” he sighed.

“Is the music driving you nuts already?”

“It’s been driving me nuts for the last two weeks. I was actually freaking humming Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer yesterday and I didn’t even notice it. I only did when a customer mentioned it.”

Sam let out a laugh. “Sorry. A few more weeks and it will be all over. And it’s better than last year, right? Since you’re at the Chocolaterie this time. I thought you said it was a bit more shielded than the rest of the store now that they moved its location this year.”

“Yeah, well that was the plan, but not anymore.” Dean leaned back into his seat.

“What? I—what do you mean?”

“I was about to tell you earlier. I was transferred a couple days ago to another department. Sort of.”

“No! What? But why?”

Dean cleared his throat. “It just needed to be done.”

“Why? Dean, what does that mean?” asked Sam, nearly aggravated as though he already knew the answer.

Dean debated for a moment whether or not he should share the specifics with his brother, knowing that Sam would most undoubtedly be worried and annoyed at him.

Nor would he be shy to express his views about it.

And Dean had worked really hard to avoid this particular lecture.

But since Sam had been honest about his work situation, he concluded that he owed him the same courtesy.

So, Dean replied, “Because another position opened up at the last minute and it offered more hours. I gave my name and here we are.”

“Dean,” groaned Sam.

I knew I shouldn’t have said anything.

“It’s all right, Sam.”

“Is it? How many hours are we talking about now?”

Silence.

“Dean?”

“Twenty hours.”

Sam swore loudly. “On top of your full time job at the garage? And the gig that Jo got you with Pam?”

“I was hoping you forgot about that…”

“I didn’t. Dean, this is nuts. How are you even able to pull this off?”

Dean crossed one arm over his chest, lowering his eyes.

“Bobby is helping me out. I’m solid during the day at the garage throughout the week, so I can have my nights and the weekends to do the rest.”

“That’s not what I meant. Do you even have a day off? A night off?”

“You’re one to talk, Sam. And it’s just for December. Everything will be back to normal after that.”

“December starts tomorrow and it’s already insane. And answer the question.”

Dean sighed. “I work at the store on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. And in the afternoon during the weekend. And then Saturday nights, I wait at Pam’s events, which is really not a big deal. I did it this summer. It’s good money.”

“You did it once, Dean. One wedding. Not four in a row on top of—”

“No weddings this time. Pam said it will be Christmas parties for companies. The first one is tonight. It’s gonna be fine.”

“That leaves you with what, though? For free time?”

“I still have my evenings Sunday through Tuesday.”

“If you’re not pulling extra hours at the garage, you mean? Which I’m guessing you’re already doing in the mornings during the weekends? Am I right?”

“Sam,” warned Dean.

Sam remained silent for a good minute, until he said, “Dean, I’m worried.”

“Don’t be. It’s all going to go in the piggy bank so I’ll be able to catch my breath during the harsh winter,” he joked.

Sam let out a deep sigh. “And what about the new position at the store? Shit, Dean. I—I know you were really happy about—you were actually looking forward to the Chocolaterie. Now, I feel even worse about not being able to go.”

“It’s not your fault. And anyway, it’s just a job for the holidays. No matter what it is, we both know the novelty would have worn off eventually.”

“Okay, hold on here. Because we both know the real reason you wanted to work in that department. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the job in question…”

Dean pursed his lips, lifting his head to look at the ceiling, annoyed.

“Ugh. Not this again, Sam. I told you, it was…it’s not important.”

“Bull. You’ve been whining about this guy for, like, literally a freaking year now. A year.”

“Well, whatever,” urged Dean. “Doesn’t change anything now as he’s not even here.”

“But you said that last year he hadn’t shown up until a week or so before Christmas.”

“I said I only noticed him at the end of the season. Nuance.”

“But you also said they had added employees as Christmas approached. So maybe he was one of them. And he will be this year too.”

Dean let out a sigh. “I don’t know, Sam. All I can do is wait and see.” And after a short pause, he added in an urgent manner, “If I cared. Which, I don’t. Not really.”

Sam snorted. “Right.”

“What about you, huh? Made any headway with your office crush?”

“I—there’s been progress.”

“Yeah? Asked her out yet?”

“In a manner of speaking.”

At the sound of Sam clearing his throat, Dean shook his head.

“Did you or did you not ask her out, Sam?”

“I…okay, I haven’t yet, but—”

“God, Sam,” said Dean, cutting him off. “What are you waiting for?”

“If you would let me finish, I was going to say I’m going to. I’m just waiting for the right opportunity.”

“And when’s that? On your wedding day?”

Sam huffed. “I’ll get to it. The timing and the setting have to be right.”

Dean was not impressed by this statement.

“Don’t wait too long.”

“I won’t.”

Not wanting to push it too far, Dean asked, “Got anything else planned for today?

“Not sure. Kevin texted me. He and some of his friends are going out tonight. He told me the address of the bar. He said he invited Bela too…”

“Perfect! You can make your move then. You’re going, right?”

“I don’t know. I have so much work to do.”

“Sam, I swear if you don’t go, I will somehow teleport to Chicago and drag you there myself.”

“Dean, this isn’t really my scene.”

“That’s precisely why you should go. Live a little. And if Bela’s there, she gets to see you somewhere else than at the office. A different setting, like you’ve been waiting for. And if she’s not there, you still get to have fun.”

“But hitting on her at a bar? Like, that’s just—that’s not really how I had pictured it.”

“Sam, maybe start by finding out if she’s interested? And when you know that she is, feel free to execute whatever fantasy of courtship you had planned out,” he said with a grin on his face. “At least, go to the damn bar and enjoy yourself, huh?”

“In which department are you working at The Milton’s now?” asked Sam.

“Changing the subject, huh? Nice try.”

“I’ll think about what you said,” he assured him. “But I’m curious and you didn’t say earlier.”

There was a reason for that.

“The…I’m working at the Gift Wrapping Booth.”

There was a pregnant pause. “Sorry, the what?”

Dean groaned. “You heard me.”

After a long pause, Sam said, “I see.” Sam hadn’t laughed, but Dean knew full well his brother was most likely holding down a massive fit of laughter. “I’m—wait, aren’t those usually managed by volunteers? And it’s for donations or—”

“It still is. The donation part, I mean. Look, I don’t know the whole story, but apparently, there was an issue last year with some of the volunteers, so this time, they decided to offer their own Gift Wrapping services. Nothing has changed. Every customer is entitled to the services, to donate however much they want, and all the funds goes to the Children’s Hospital, just like last year. The only difference is that the store is employing people instead of relying on volunteers.”

“Is this unusual?”

“I have no clue, but it creates jobs, so I’m not gonna complain about it. It’s actually kinda nice of them to do that since they really don’t have to. And the store is providing the wrapping paper and everything, and let me tell you, it’s not the cheap stuff either.”

“Cool. Cool. I just have one question.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“Had they seen you wrap anything before they gave you the job or…”

“It’s wrapping, not rocket science.”

“Dean.”

“I’m fine,” he said defensively. And then, after a short hesitation, he added, “They do have a certain fancy way of doing it.”

“Thought so.”

“But I’ll manage. I practiced at home a bit—I mean it’s wrapping for God’s sake!”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine, Dean. I was just curious,” said Sam sincerely. “And how do you feel about it so far?”

“Well,” sighed Dean, “honestly, it’s been somewhat uneventful. I’m the only one in the booth—it’s more like a box, but whatever. At least I don’t have anyone boring to tear my ears off, but people haven’t been super eager to have their purchases wrapped so far. So it’s basically been me, sitting on a stupid chair and looking at people buying stuff I can’t afford. While listening to the same twelve songs.”

“Well, I don’t know if that’s encouraging or not, but I’m pretty sure the pace will pick up soon enough.”

“Yeah. Not sure that’s a silver lining.” Moving the phone away from his ear, Dean looked at the time on his phone. “All right,” he said, after putting the phone back, “I have to head back. My break is almost over. I’m lucky they even give me one, so… Thanks for the phone call.”

“Same. Though, I wish I had better news. Hang in there, Dean. The holiday season will be over soon.”

“I will. I’ll call you back tonight after my gig. And you better not answer because you’re out having fun for once,” he said with glee.

“We’ll see.”

“You freaking better.”

“Fine! Bye!”

Dean, walking to his booth, trying not to drag his feet, passed by toys’ department and spotted his friends, Charlie and Jo, looking at the board games.

Not in a talking mood, he simply waved at them and continued his route.

“Dean, wait!” said Jo.

Dean came to halt and let his friends catch up to him. “Sorry, I have to go back.”

“We’ll walk with you a minute,” said Jo. “Are you still good for tonight?”

“Yup. Pam called me Thursday night to double check. She gave me the address and everything. And a reminder of the regulations. I’m trying not to take it personally,” he said, beaming.

“Don’t. She did the same for me too.”

“Thanks again for giving her my name.”

“No problem.”

“You going too, Charlie?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “Which sucks. That’s when I had my D&D meet ups.”

“Create a new one, then,” said Jo. “I’ll join.”

Charlie lifted an eyebrow. “Don’t toy with me, Harvelle.”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Then Charlie, smiling, said, “You think we can convince this one too,” she said, poking Dean’s chest with her finger.”

“If I had time to have a life,” he said, “I would.”

Charlie squinted at him. “We’ll have to see about that then.” Continuing walking side by side, she asked him, “So, do you like your new position, Dean?”

“I’m not thrilled, but it’s not bad, either. And if I’m honest, it’s certainly an improvement from last year…”

“That wasn’t very hard to beat,” pointed out Charlie, remembering full well as she had been stuck in the same boat as he had.

“True.”

Having reached the booth, Dean pushed the half-door, stepped inside the booth, and approached the counter facing the girls.

“Wait, I thought you were at the Chocolaterie?” said Jo. “That was like perfect for you.”

“Yeah. I agree,” said Dean. “But I switched for the hours.”

“So, who is manning the Chocolaterie now?”

“Meg,” said Charlie. “I saw her this morning.”

“What?” exclaimed Dean. “Oh, man! I didn’t even know she was back.” And he made a face of disgust.

“She’s actually not that bad,” said Charlie.

An opinion that was not, it seemed, overly shared with her friends.

“Not that I care about that kind of stuff, but she always seemed kind of a manipulator to me,” said Jo.

“I don’t trust her,” said Dean simply.

Charlie lifted an eyebrow. “Um, one, you barely trust anyone. And two, I’m pretty sure the main reason why you don’t like her is because you saw her lurking around that guy you had heart-eyes for last year.”

Jo turned briskly towards her. “What’s that now?” A smirk appeared on her face. “What guy?”

“You didn’t know this?” asked Charlie.

“No. What guy?” she repeated.

“No one,” said Dean, busying himself by moving the wrapping paper around, which was utterly unnecessary.

“Not no one,” said Charlie. “Last year, there was this guy—dark hair, killer blue eyes, about yay-high—he was one of those last-minute employees. You know the ones who are brought in within the last few days before Christmas for emergencies, substitution or additional help?”

Jo nodded, understanding and eager to hear the rest.

“Okay, well, last year,” she continued, “Dean and I were elves helping out kids to have their picture taken with Santa. Which was not very far from the Chocolaterie. And this guy showed up just a few days before Christmas for additional help there, and from that moment on, all Dean did was constantly stare at his pretty face.”

“I didn’t constantly stare at him…”

“You didn’t ask him out?” said Jo.

Dean, pursing his lips, let out a deep sigh. “I never got to. As it was the last days before Christmas, I didn’t have one second to myself. I don’t even know his name or even exchanged a few words with him. And I didn’t work here after Christmas. I, um, did stop by the store a few times, but…and since I’ve been back, I tried to find out if anyone knew anything, but I haven’t had much luck so far.”

“I asked around too since they kept me on after Christmas, but nothing,” said Charlie.

“The only one who may have something is Meg and the only thing she had said to me last year was that his name was Clarence and I’m pretty sure it’s a goddamn lie. Hence: I don’t trust her.”

“Uh-huh. Were they a thing?” asked Jo to Charlie. “‘Clarence’ and Meg, I mean.”

“Who knows?” said Charlie. “It’s possible. I think Meg was the only one who got to interact with him. But he didn’t stay around for that long and I haven’t heard anything suggesting that either. The guy’s a mystery.”

Frowning, something was still bothering Jo. “Why not ask Rowena? If anyone knows who he is, it would be her, no?”

But Dean and Charlie shook their heads. “Rowena wasn’t here last year, remember? It was that atrocious-ass Adler.”

“Right. I think I had repressed that,” she said with a grim face. “Still, there has to be a way to find out. A record or something?”

But Dean was officially done with the subject. “Whatever,” he shrugged. “It’s not like my life depends on it. It was, like, one guy. Who may or may not have been good-looking. From afar. Whatever.”

Charlie and Jo exchanged devious looks.

Ones that made Dean roll his eyes. He waved them goodbye, as he knew they both needed to head back to their own departments, and watched them stroll down the aisle.

And so, left by himself, and with no customers in sight (for him, at the very least), just as he had told Sam, Dean pulled up a chair, sat down and…waited.

Attempting to seem alert and ready to help.

And not appear overly depressed at doing nothing.

At least it’s not complicated and it certainly beats dealing with rude customers.

On the other hand, killing time by staring in front of him blankly felt like a waste of time. Even if he was technically earning money while doing it.

But he knew he shouldn’t complain. As Sam had mentioned earlier, soon enough, he would most likely reminisce on the time when he was bored out of his skull.

But being kept in that booth with nothing else to do but to watch the people around him, while he was stuck alone, served as a painful allegory to his life. Everything around him was moving and there he stood, waiting for someone to come to him, while he was expected to just smile as if he was having the time of his life.

And now, the one silver lining he had had for the holidays was apparently gone as well.

No Sammy. No traditional cookies. And no making fun of old Christmas movies, while eating junk food and drinking eggnog.

They had never spent Christmas apart before. Even when Sam had been away at college. Even when either of them had been in a serious relationship (though that had mostly been Sam’s case, not Dean’s), they had still celebrated the holidays together.

No matter what. That was their thing.

And now he would have to spend it on his own.

Alone.

Assuming he would survive the crazy amount of workload awaiting him in December.

And not be driven mad by this infuriating Christmas music.

Awesome.

I hate my life.

“Hello.”

Dean nearly jumped out of his skin. A hand over his heart, he turned to his left only to realize someone was standing next to him.

In the booth.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you. I was told to join you today.”

Regaining his composure, Dean said, “Cool. Um, the place has been pretty de—”

And the rest of his sentence died in his throat, the moment his eyes fell on his new co-worker.

Dark hair.

Killer blue eyes.

About yay-high.

It’s him.

And he’s here.

With me.

At the freaking booth.

Dean gawked at him.

Chapped lips.

Stubble beard.

And a deep voice that—

And all I’ve been doing is staring at him like a complete moron.

“Hi!” Dean nearly yelled, waving his hand.

Stop now.

And he immediately dropped his hand.

“Hello,” the man repeated.

“Dean,” said Dean, pointing at himself.

“Hello, Dean. I’m Castiel. Nice to meet you.”

Castiel.

“Um, same. Hi, Castiel.”

And he smiled at him like an idiot.

--End of Chapter One----

Read Chapter Two and the rest of the fic on AO3 :)

[velvetchen]

Dynamic | pt. iv

[ back to masterlist ]

Scenario: Superhero AU Pairing: Chen/Reader Word Count: 4485 Rating: T (warning for language)

Summary: You’re the leading superhero of the city, and you’ve fought Dynamo for years. It’s the way it should be - good vs. evil, hero vs. villain. But what happens when a bigger evil threatens everything?

<< previous part x first part x next part >>

You’re all clustered around the command center of the NSN, called in for an emergency briefing after your showdown with the giant robot. The thing had somehow cut off all the NSN’s communications, so they hadn’t been able to give you any intel until you were already finished with the fight.

But the minute you’d all got back down to the ground after checking out its head, it had completely vanished without a trace.

“We’re calling him the Dragon,” the Director says. “Since he hasn’t announced himself to the public yet.”

“He? You’re sure it's a he?” Whirlwind asks, his face twisted skeptically.

“Yes,” the Director says, pulling up a grainy image of a black-clad figure leaving a building. “That’s him. We’ve been hearing reports of a very talented hero around town, long before today. We only just managed to figure he and the Dragon are one and the same.”

“Well, what's his power?” you ask impatiently.

“Metallokinesis. One of the strongest we’ve seen in decades.” He paused for effect. “He’s stronger than you three combined.”

You swallow. Dynamo had been right. This city needed everything it had to fight this new threat off.

The Director pulls up another image, this one of a face half cast in shadow. It's blurry too, like someone zoomed in from far away to take it. “This photo was taken by assets of the Villains Association,” he says. You can’t make out much other than a hooked nose and heavy eyebrows.

“This is all the information we have?” Seism asks, looking thoughtful.

“As of now, yes. Our spies are working round the clock. We’ve even got hackers tracking bank accounts, camera feeds, everything within a hundred mile radius. He’s got to have got the materials for that thing from somewhere.” The Director pulls up a hologram of the giant Dragon and rotates it with a flick of his wrist. “From your fight yesterday, we gathered that hitting the face didn’t disable it at all. It’s not electronic, it’s being controlled by him. He must have been somewhere nearby, hiding out and watching.”

That thought was scarier than it sounded - this Dragon guy had been watching you the whole time from afar, and nobody had known.

The Director continues. “We’ve decided on a mission to break in and look for possible hideout spots. Rush, you’ll be leading.”

You’re not surprised they pick you - you knew your way out of a fight, and if you needed to get out of there, they wouldn’t need to send backup. “When?”

“The minute we get intel, you’re up.” You nod.

“But what if he attacks again in the meantime?” Seism asks, and the rest of you  chorus an agreement.

“We don’t think he will. Since he hasn’t announced himself - or what side he’s on - we guessed he’s just trying to spread rampant terror. He won’t attack until this hype dies down. Then, when everyone thinks they’re safe again, he’ll strike. So,” finishes the Director, “we have a good window in which to do our reconnaissance.”

As the discussion continues, you turn to your own thoughts, which are loud inside your head. That afternoon’s events. Dynamo, catching you from falling to your death. Dynamo, suddenly serious. There’s no one I’d rather work with than you. This wasn’t your relationship. Sure, you flirted all the time, but that was when he was trying to destroy something and you were trying to thwart him. When you think about Dynamo, it’s without fondness. He’s just there, that’s it. Your antithesis. The bad to your good. The yin to your yang.

This new development confuses you more than anything else.

“Rush?” You snap your attention back to the discussion. “Patrol tonight, don’t forget.”

You groan internally. “Yes, sir.”

 When you finally leave the headquarters, it’s night. Nearly time for your patrol to start. You don’t even bother changing out of your suit, strolling into the nearest fast-food joint and ordering the greasiest, most unhealthy thing on the menu, with a large soda on top of that. The sugar and caffeine would hopefully kickstart you enough to stay awake for a few hours, at least. Then you could get a coffee and that would last you the rest of the way.

Tomorrow was a Monday, and you didn’t have any morning classes, so you’d be able to sleep in comfortably. Thank God for small mercies.

Everyone in the store stares at you point blank as you sit down with your tray, unwrap your burrito, and bite off a very unladylike portion. You ignore them. Your head pounds with the aftereffects of using your ability under pressure, and your feet are sore as hell from the three-inch heels on your boots.

Oh, only women knew the pain of looking good while you kicked ass. Something you and Glamour Girl had bonded over plenty of times.

You finish eating and walk back out, soda in hand, sipping casually as you pull out your phone to text Jennie.

You: hey babe im not coming home 2night Jen: oh yeah? are u with brunch boy Jen: cause if u are, GO GIRL You: nope but i have another date w him on tuesday. ahhh You: im at another friend’s place. studying for that test in gov u know Jen: got it got it You: have breakfast ready for me pls i’m pulling an all nighter Jen: sure babe Jen: love u Jen: ace that test ok You: love u too

You sigh and tuck your phone away. It was going to be a long night.

You almost drag yourself down the street at 5 am the next day. You’re sure you must look like death, even with the mask on. You’d been hoping it would be a quiet night, but you just stopped four muggings, a drug overdose, a date gone awry, and a man from pulling a gun on his family. Then you’d been called in for an emergency and hurried to the scene - all the way across town from where you were - only to have a kid ask you to get his cat out of a tree.

Still, you have one more stop before you get home. You make your way to the end of the street, where the warehouse looms, dingy and small. You swear it’s much bigger on the inside. When you push the loose window in the front wall open, the dark interior stares back at you. Empty.

You’re almost disappointed he’s not here.

You get a notepad and pen out of your backpack - both of them predictably fuschia, obviously you - and scrawl out a note quickly.

Meet me at the Spire, midnight. We’re discussing battle tactics.

♡ Rush

Pausing, you squint at your writing. Then you scratch out the heart, a habit from the hundreds of autographs you’ve signed.

You take advantage of the emptiness of the warehouse to quickly strip out of your costume and into your clothes from yesterday, one of your nicer blouses and a pleated skirt. Then you trudge out, look from side to side to make sure no one’s watching, then start the walk home.

The Spire isn’t it’s official name, but that’s what it’s called in the super world - the tallest building in the city, one hundred fifty floors, a perfect vantage point to watch the downtown area. And a place where no one would question your presence.

You wait, legs dangling off the edge precariously, chin in the cradle of your hands as you watch the cars a thousand feet below zip past like ants. As much as you care for them, as much as you love them - the people of this city are just as insignificant to you as they look from this height. All of them, spread out below you - yet you know nothing. There’s this huge barrier between you and everyone else. Because you’re a super. Because you’re idolized, you’re put on a pedestal. They probably forget you’re a person under that mask, a person with a real life who goes to school and works and goes out with friends and does all the other normal people things they do.

With the exception of being super, of course.

Sighing, you shift your gaze from the ground to the sky. It’s cloudy, overcast, and you can feel your hair frizzing up. Maybe it was a bad idea to pick the tallest building around for miles as your meeting place.

“Hey.” You don’t turn around as Dynamo appears, floating down to sit next to you. Thankfully, he keeps his distance, staying a good foot away from you. Any further and you wouldn’t be able to hear each other over the lashing of the wind. “What’d you want to discuss?”

You finally move to face him, pulling your legs up onto the roof and sitting with your elbows over your knees. “We know a little more about the Dragon now. He’s-”

“I know,” Dynamo cuts you off. “Metallokinesis. Super ultra powerful. A recluse, showed up out of nowhere. That’s what they briefed me at the V.A.” He sighs. “Depressing, huh? And I thought I was the most powerful super in the city.”

“Second only to me,” you cut in, grinning. “But seriously, they didn’t tell you anything else? No secret villain-only info?”

“Nope,” he says. “Half of the villains want to side with him, anyway. They’re suck-ups. So it’s a need-to-know basis. We’re mostly just supposed to stay out of the way.”

“You don’t plan on doing that, do you?” You watch him carefully.

He doesn’t waver. “I teamed up with you for a reason, partner.”

For once, you wish you could see his face. Then you push the thought away, shocked. It was better you kept your lives secret. Even within the heroes, none of you revealed your identity - not even to the NSN. It always got too messy.

You don’t reply to his statement. “They want me to raid his possible hideouts.” He opens his mouth to continue but you keep going. “No intel yet. Apparently he was remotely controlling that thing.”

“I figured as much. Metallokinesis, right? It’s got range.”

“Yeah, so they want me to find him out.” You swallow. “I want you with me.”

His response is instant. “Okay. I’m with you.”

“Not just this one,” you say. “All my missions. We’re a team now, we have to fight together. I’ll talk to my superiors.”

“I...okay.” Now he looks taken aback.

You stand up, brushing off your suit, bracing yourself against the wind. You reach your hand out to help him up. “Please don’t shock me this time.”

He takes it, and the tingles of electricity that shoot up your arm are warm and pleasant, like laughter. When he stands to face you, you notice that he’s actually not that much taller than you. Nor is he particularly bulky or intimidating. He actually has a lean, average physique, fit from the years of supervillain-y activities. Huh. Perception really changed things.

“When do you want to meet next?”

You look away, thinking. “Not tomorrow. Besides, I don’t yet have any info from the NSN,” you say. “We could do a little spying of our own, if you want.”

“Wednesday?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” You move toward the edge of the roof. “Bye, Dynamo.”

Just as you’re about to go, he calls after you. “Rush?”

“Yeah?”

“You can actually call me Chen. If you want.”

Your lips quirk into a small smile - at the same time your heart rate picks up. “That isn’t your real name, is it?”

He laughs. “No. But it’s the name I picked for myself when I first decided I wanted to be a supervillain. I like it better than Dynamo.”

Your smile widens. “It suits you. See you on Wednesday, Chen.” Then with a running start, you dive off the edge of the roof, plummeting down, the wind on your face like a thousand tons of force. With a loud whoop, you fall faster and faster, until you’re almost all the way down and then suddenly you blink - and you’re safely on the ground.

Sometimes, having an ability was seriously great.

Paragon was a borderline indie bar/club/thing that you’d gone to often, but not often enough to be familiar with. Today it’s packed. For a Tuesday, that’s pretty incredible. The tables are all crowded, the floor in between filled with people talking to each other and dancing in the music that plays lightly over the speakers. The stage, however, is still empty.

You pull out your phone.

You: im so anxious. there’s so many people here Jen: on a tuesday??? wowwww You: yeah i wonder if they’re all here for him though You: because if they are??? You: i literally will not be able to handle it Jen: ;) You: jennnnnnn come on

When she doesn’t reply, you sigh and put your phone away. Just in time, too. The whole crowd goes strangely quiet as a light flicks on stage, and then a figure is walking out and standing at the single mic. He takes a minute to fix it up, tapping and mouthing something to someone backstage, who finally gives a thumbs-up.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” he says. A cheer goes up and you’re surprised when you even hear a couple I-love-yous screamed out. “I’m Jongdae and I’ll be your entertainment. Have a wonderful evening.”

Music starts up immediately, a strong electronic and jazz sort of fusion that has everyone drawn in by the energy. And then he starts singing and holy shit, you’ve never heard anything like it before. His is the most lively voice, warm in timbre and perfect in pitch. You know enough about music to tell his vocal technique is near perfect.

It’s obvious why the crowd’s so huge. He’s something else.

You spend the whole one hour show with your mouth slightly open, as he goes from song to song and shows off his amazing repertoire. From ballads to 80’s pop hits to electronic, he can pretty much sing anything. Near the end of the show you realize you’ve somehow made it to the front of the crowd. Here the press of people cheering and dancing is more than ever, and you just stand there, entranced.

It’s more than disappointing when he finishes up for the night and thanks everyone, waving enthusiastically as he disappears backstage. From there the people start to disperse, but there’s still a lot of people in the building for a Tuesday.

You decide to go looking for him.

Winding through the crowd, you skirt along the far wall and towards the door you saw him go through earlier. “Excuse me,” you mutter, nearly crashing into someone with a tray of drinks. Finally you make it, and even though the door is closed, you hold your breath and knock, thrice.

When no one opens up, you figure they must not hear you above the blaring music and knock again, harder this time.

The door swings open to reveal a scary-looking bouncer. You’re thrown off for a minute, but regain your confidence. “Uh, I’m Y/N,” you nearly yell. “Jongdae invited me.”

The bouncer guy eyes you up and down, then closes the door. You hear someone - Jongdae? - yell loudly from inside, then the door opens again and you’re ushered in quickly.

“Y/N,” Jongdae says, arms outstretched from his perch on a retro orange sofa. “You made it! I didn’t think you would.”

You shift on your feet, suddenly awkward. “Well, I did promise.”

He chuckles and pats the seat next to him. “Sit down. Want a drink?” You look at the table next to him, with a half empty bottle of wine, and realize he’s probably had a few drinks already. Unsure, you sit next to him on the sofa and take the glass he hands you.

“So, how’d you like it?” he wiggles his brows. The polite, simple Jongdae from your previous meetings seems to be gone; tipsy from alcohol and the high of his performance, he’s a lot more bold. A sheen of sweat still shines on his forehead, and his eyes spark as he looks at you.

“I loved it,” you try not to gush, but he must see it. “It was - incredible. You’re incredible.” Despite yourself, you blush.

“Thanks,” he says, a self-satisfied grin on his face as he leans back. “It means a lot more coming from you.” He winks. Your cheeks grow even hotter.

“Are you flirting with me?”

He takes a sip of his drink. “Only if you want me to be.”

You smirk back, feeling a little shot of confidence, your alter ego, come seeping in. “Well, in that case-” you reach out and put your hand on his arm “-please continue.”

He raises his eyebrow, obviously pleasantly surprised by your change in personality, but the drink is starting to hit your nerves and you only feel your adrenaline go up. “And what if I skip the flirting and go straight to propositioning you?”

“Try and see.”

His voice is close to your ear, breath warm on your skin. “How about we don’t go for dinner and you come over instead.”

“I don't know, don't you think it's a little soon for that?” Are you just imagining it, or are his lips on your neck? Blushing again, you feel your confidence waver for a minute. But then he’s really kissing you, and you're the one pulling him up from the sofa and towards the door.

He’s laughing as you drag him along. “Demanding, aren't we?” He still comes with you though, stepping out of the back of the building into a small alley.

“Which way?” you ask, looking left and right.

He just grins and pulls you down the alley, stopping in front of a monstrous-looking motorbike with yellow lightning bolt accents.

“Wow, I didn't peg you for a motorbike guy,” you say, a little anxious, but you take the helmet he gives you nevertheless. You climb on behind him, grasping around him loosely as the engine comes to life, and then fear overtakes your uncertainty and you’re clinging on to him for dear life, burying your face in his jacketed shoulder. He smells like standard men’s shower gel and vanilla and slightly like sweat - a scent that’s both comforting and exciting. Eventually, you gain the courage to watch your surroundings as you pass the downtown area and into an area with numerous apartment buildings.

“Wait, I thought you-”

“That’s my brother's place,” he cuts in. “I have my own.” You're both relieved and newly anxious that there won't be anyone else at his place.

Not that you were going to do anything. It would just complicate things. You’d had one-night-stands before - and they were one night stands because you snuck away right after. Usually your partner was too drunk to remember you and probably passed you off as a dream or someone else.

But it was different now, because you liked Jongdae. You knew him. Even with your limited time together, you could feel the beginnings of a bad crush, and even though you were willing to see where it went, the thought of a relationship still scared the crap out of you.

You had second thoughts suddenly. How would you explain it if you needed to leave this time? What if he asked too many questions, or rummaged in your bag, or you got too drunk and spilled your biggest secret? You almost grip his shoulders and ask him to turn around - just as you pull up in front of a fancy looking apartment building.

He parks. There’s no turning back now. “This is the place?”

“This is the place.” He hops off and then holds out his hand for you to take. As always, there are those familiar tingles dancing up and down your skin. You pull back your hand quickly, hoping it didn't look like you were being rude. Thankfully he doesn't seem to think so, and puts his hands in his pockets, humming a song from earlier that night as you begin to walk.

The door unlocks smoothly. He switches on the lights and you look around. Jongdae’s apartment is less personal than you expected it to be. It's also a lot more expensive than you expected it to be - everything is clean and modern, with decorative touches that have the hand of a professional and not a twenty-something guy who sings at bars. There are pictures of him and his family, but strategically arranged across the wall. His fridge has touristy-looking magnets that hold up printed out recipes and some scrawled notes.

He locks the door behind you. “I haven’t been spending much time here, so don't be surprised if you see dust or a stray sock or something,” he says, scratching the back of his head. Like he's nervous. You find it oddly cute. “Um, make yourself at home. I’ll see if I have anything to eat.”

You wander into his living room, which is more of the same. There are a few more photos of people who must be his parents and brother, a signed photo of him singing at another club, skin turned blue by the lights. You pick it up and look at it - study the electricity in his eyes and how alive he seems. So this is who he is.

“Is ramen okay?” he calls from the kitchen.

“I don't mind,” you call back as you put the photo back. There are some knickknacks: several small cat plushies, a jar full of coins and a handwritten note from someone named Kim Minseok, whom you guessed was Jongdae’s brother.

Jongdae enters the kitchen, two cups of ramen in both hands and a wine bottle tucked under his arm. He sets them down on the coffee table and doubles back for a couple of glasses. “Ramen and wine,” he says. “I know, I'm the epitome of hospitality.”

You giggle and take your share. “Thanks.” It's the instant stuff, but you're hungry and it tastes good.

Your teasing mood from earlier is gone, worn away by the ride here and the calm aura of his apartment. Right now, you just want to talk, lulled by the wine and the comfortable silence in between you as you eat.

You fumble for a place to start, going for an easy opening. “So, besides singing and eating brunch, what do you like to do?”

“Well, considering you just summed up my life in two activities, I’d say not much else,” he grins. “But Y/N, I barely know about you. What do you like to do?”

Usually you have a basic answer about your job ready to go, but this time you feel like you should be honest. Well, as honest as you can. “I’m actually a bit of a thrill-seeker,” you say tentatively. “I trained in mixed martial arts for a long time, actually. I like heights and horror movies and I have three tattoos.”

Jongdae actually looks impressed. “I would not have guessed that about you. I’m kind of proud I managed to scare you with my motorbike.”

“Surprisingly I've never been on one before,” you say. “But I really liked it. I’d love to go again.”

“Anything else you haven't done?” His eyebrows rose. “I’m not asking for the sake of future dates.”

“I’ve never been skydiving, for all my love of heights. You?”

“I’ve never actually sung in front of my parents. I think about that a lot.”

“Oh?” you finish up your noodles. “Why not?”

“Well, we're not really on good terms,” he says, looking down at his bowl. “I moved out early, because they didn’t approve of me trying to drop out of school. I started singing when I was sixteen, a few months after I moved in with my brother. So yeah. I haven't talked to them since then.”

“That’s kind of sad,” you say quietly. Your free hand inches across the space between you. “Why did you want to drop out of school, though?”

He shrugs. “I thought I had better things to do. Turns out they were just big dreams. I went back to school and graduated a year late.”

“What kind of things?” Against your will, your fingers have twined with his.

He smiles softly. “That’s a story for another time,” he says. “If you stick around long enough.”

“I plan on it.”

His grin widens. “Can I kiss you?”

“You already did.”

“Yes, but I didn't ask first that time.”

The corners of your mouth turn up. “Okay.”

He leans forward, excruciatingly slow. You close your eyes and swallow. It's not your second kiss, not even your twentieth, but it feels intimate and vulnerable in a completely different way. You actually care what he thinks, what he sees when he looks at you.

His lips touch yours, and you forget about the liabilities.

You wake, unsteady, in a room that's not your own. The covers are kicked off halfway and the other side of the bed is cold. You catch your reflection in the mirror across from you. You look exhausted, and there are a couple of wine-purple marks on your neck. Panic hits, sudden and familiar.

Shit. Did I -

You tiptoe out of the room cautiously. Jongdae is awake; you can hear him humming as he shuffles around the kitchen. Wary, you keep moving forward until he sees you and his face lights up.

“Good morning, Y/N. I wasn’t expecting you to wake up anytime soon. You sleep like the dead.”

“Good morning,” you return, uncertainly. “Jongdae, did we, you know…I don't remember.”

“Don't worry, nothing happened,” he says, grabbing eggs out of the fridge. “Do you like them scrambled or fried?”

“Fried, please,” you say, leaning hesitantly on the counter.

“Right. We were talking and you fell asleep on me a couple times. You looked pretty tired, so I carried you to the bed.” He looks up at you, a reassuring smile on his face. “So yeah, nothing happened.”

Relief spills through you, evident on your face. “Good,” you say, and then quickly rectify, “I mean - I was drunk-”

“No offense taken,” he laughs. You’re quiet as he cracks the eggs into a pan, working a little clumsily, but singing absently as he does so. You close your eyes and listen to the honeyed sound of his voice, a song you’ve never heard before but one that still feels familiar nevertheless.

With a pang, you realize that you could get used to this. 

And that terrifies you.

All of a sudden you want to get out of here. You clam up again, looking for an opening to leave - but he’s turning to you with a plate in either hand and the most blinding smile on his face, and you can’t help but stay a little longer.

a/n this is p long compared to what i usually write i’m actually surprised ? also is anyone else swooning over jongdae bc i am wow falling for your own character why dont you get an actual life mer

[lovelifelivewise]

Ultimate Guide To Getting Organized And Reducing Stress Forever

Do you feel overwhelmed by lack of organization and don’t know where to start? In this ultimate guide to getting organized and reducing stress forever, you will find helpful tools to guide you in getting organized keeping the stress levels low plus a few surprises!

Understand one thing, there is no right or wrong way to tackle organizing tasks, you just need to start. You can read 100 guides and how-to posts, get 50 different checklists but if you don’t start, those things will not help you! So what should be your main goal? Your main pledge? To Start! "Good order is the foundation of all things." -Edmund Burke Now that the days are longer and warmer, why not get your family involved in sorting out each room. Even as young as 3yo kids can take part, small tasks will keep them happy and involved. Make a deal to share the profits of anything you sell!

Let’s talk decluttering

There is no point trying to get organized if you are surrounded by a cluttered environment. If that is your case, keep reading, I have something for you. "When home feels out of control, no matter what the reason, unsettledness and anxiety can seep in, and then the chaos becomes internal as well as external."-Myquillyn Smith Where to start with decluttering? Start from the top - you have to start somewhere and the top is as good a place as any other!  In general, all guides tell you to start from the top so that dust and rubbish fall down and you do the floor last. Before you get going read the post below and follow it, that is your starting point and your how-to guide. Related Posts: How To Master Spring Clean Preparation The difference between decluttering and organizing

You can see above, the difference is quite simple when decluttering, the objective is to remove excess. When organizing, the focus is on creating order, finding a system. Understanding that difference helps to direct the focus to the right activity.

No one goes to battle without a plan!

Now, this post is not about how to declutter, it is about getting organized and reducing the stress that a cluttered or unorganized environment creates.  Do the exercise below, it will help you decide where to focus your efforts. You can print worksheet here. Identify what is your main cause of stress.Write what three things you can do to improve your situation regarding point 1. Really think about it, if you can't do anything about, just write nothing and move to the next.Repeat steps 1 and 2 for each cause of stress. Get worksheet Learning to let go "The most powerful weapon against stress is our hability to choose one thought over another. Train your mind to see the good in this day."-marcandangel Learning to let go is hard! For some people is a lot harder… Together with self-confidence and selectiveness, letting go gets easier with age - maybe it’s just me looking for benefits of getting older! What I can tell you from experience is, if you suffer from depression, anxiety or both, learning to let go is one of the best tools you can have in your every-day tool kit. Why am I saying this? Well if you have identified all the factors that are stressing you out and you can’t do anything about them (they are all outside your control), then the only thing you can do is to let go. In general, I tend to be quite pragmatic - I know it’s all easier said than done but believe me you can control what and how you think, you just need to practice. Learn this exercise and do it each time until it becomes intuitive.

Start small and create healthy tiny habits

"Repetition of the same thought or pysical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex."- Norman Vincent Peale We are all creatures of habit - habits make us feel comfortable and safe. You create a habit by doing the same thing many times until you don’t have to think about it, you do it instinctively. This removes the unknown and creates a feeling of security, you are in control. How you can use this knowledge to help you? Create routinesUse systemsFollow-throughBe consistent When you follow-through and are consistent you create habits and keeping organized becomes part of your day-to-day.

Be Practical and Pragmatic

"Whatever the truth is, I don’t see how it will help me get food on the table."- Suzanne Collins This quote is a great example of practicality! You have identified what is getting you stressed, have identified if you need decluttering or organizing and have thought about what routines and systems you can incorporate in your day-to-day to help you in keeping on top of your organization. What does this mean in practical terms? Get rid of what you don’t needCreate a morning routineHave an evening routine & get one for the kidsSet a system for housework and laundryHave an admin dayFind efficiencies & delegate more

Take action

If you have not decluttered, do it now! Decluttering is a great factor of stress and most people put it off because they think it is hard and don’t know where to start.  If you did not read my guide above, you can read it here. It really does not matter much, where and how you start. You can start with a drawer, a cupboard or a full room. What matters is that you start somewhere and get rid of stuff you don’t need. Create a morning routine If you don’t have a morning routine, set one up. Why is this so important? Having a morning routine sets you up for the rest of the day. It sets your mood, your activity levels and your overall approach. It’s important to get it right. You don’t need to be very strict - this may cause more stress - make a note of 3 to 5 things you enjoy doing in the morning. Want an example? Read about my morning routine here. Main points to consider: Get dressed & do your bed.Have a healthy breakfast.Take a few minutes to meditate or think of three things you are grateful for.Do 10 minutes of light/focused exercise.Put all the washing away and clear surfaces (if you did not do it the night before). Related Posts: 7 Tried And Tested Life & Home Organising Hacks! Have an evening routine & Get One For The Kids An evening routine should take 10 to 15 minutes and will be very beneficial to you and your family. If you have kids, get the kids involved too. By involving the kids, you are teaching them to create healthy habits, you are making them responsible for their things and accountable too. These are all skills/values they will need in life. So, when is the best time to implement this routine? Not just before you go to bed! If you are anything like me, first you dose off on the sofa and by the time you actually go to bed you are half asleep. Kids get less collaborative when they are sleepy too, so the trick is to get that routine done before dinner time. Create Mini Routines - They Make life easier! I have a mini routine when kids arrive from school, where they get their lunch boxes, rinse them and get them in the dishwasher. They also get all the school communication papers out, so I can read them and get their school bags ready for the following day. Then just before dinner, they organize what goes into their lunch box and get that ready in the fridge. They clear clutter they have left behind both downstairs and in their rooms and they get their clothes ready for the next day. What do I do? Not very little after that :-) I check on what they have done, tidy the kitchen surfaces and get the dishwasher to wash overnight. I take out what I’ll need to cook the following day and set the clothes I’ll be wearing if I need. Set a system for housework and laundry Wednesdays and Fridays are my housework days and Friday evening is my planning day. There is no right or wrong way to do this, I use Wednesday and Friday because those days work best for me. You don’t have to completely change what you are already doing, instead, use what you are doing as your starting point, that will make creating the routine much easier. Unless your children are under 5, they should be cleaning their own rooms. If not completely, they should be helping you, so they see what and how you do it. Divide your home into areas and tackle them individually, that makes it a lot easier! Do the same for your laundry, wash whites one day and darks another day. Use checklists to organize your housework and know what needs doing daily, monthly, every other month, bi-annually and annually. Set those tasks on your Google calendar or the calendar you use to get your other commitments.

Have an admin day Twice a month, have an admin day. Or an admin afternoon or an admin evening… even one hour of focused admin will be a great help and will make you feel so much better! Disconnect all distractions before you start and go through all the papers piled up, check that your bills have been paid or pay them, archive any papers that need archiving and check your bank accounts. Complete any other admin tasks needed. Pro Tips: Schedule this time in your calendar, if you schedule 1 hour every other week, soon you will only need 30 minutes. Go paperless, get electronic statements and get receipts directly in your inbox, this is a much more efficient way to store them. Find efficiencies & delegate more

Creating efficiencies it's very much related to the importance you give to each task you perform, for example cleaning the toilet every other day or every two days is very important for me. Having the kitchen tidy every day is the most important. Ironing is not important at all, so I very rarely iron. I wash items hang them neatly to dry and fold them away as soon as they are dry. Look at it this way, the more you delegate, the less there is for you to do :-) I'm not saying that your family should be your slaves but if we all do our share, life becomes easier. We also have more appreciation for the work others put in for us and stop taking it for granted. Sit down with the kids and design a routine that works for you. Add specific times to do things, give them a few options to chose from, they will be more envolved if they have taken part in creating that routine. I find that offering screen or device time as a reward works very well with my kids. Get your partner on the game too. If you usually take the dishes from the table and rinse them, he can put them in the dishwasher! So what is important to you? Where are you spending your time? Make sure you are spending your time with things that are important and not wasting your time with distractions.

Maintaining an organized life & home

Keeping an uncluttered and organized home is all about order. Following through the routines you have set and starting again when you fail. When you have systems in place it's easier to know where to start. If you don't follow through don't put yourself down! Start again and make it better this time. See below my all time favourites for getting organized!

Tell me all about what works for you! Do you have routines? What do you struggle with the most in keeping organized? I love to hear from you, share your strategies below:-) Keep well & safe! Ana xx Read the full article

[touristguidebuzz]

6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. In this column, Kristin shares some insights from solo female travelers who aren’t millennials!

Every now and then I think about Julie, a 77-year-old woman who stayed at the beach bungalow next to me on the island of Gili Air in Indonesia.

She regaled with me stories about being invited by locals to beach barbecues, her adventures, and the fun she had traveling the world. I felt so empowered during our conversations. She was so laid-back and at peace. This was a woman who had lived a long life and bucked the belief that solo female travel was something for the young. The confident role model in front of me showed me that women of any age can enjoy and benefit from travel.

Over the years while writing this column, I have seen a growing number of women asking, “What about those of us who aren’t twenty-something? Where can I read their stories and connect with narratives that are closer to my own?”

The Internet is awash with young, often Western, women traveling the world. They blog and Instagram and get their stories told in big media. There’s that bias toward youth.

But solo female travelers come in all ages, from all kinds of backgrounds, and from all over the world.

Today, I want to share some of the stories of older women travelers and add their voices to the narratives. So I sat down (virtually at least) with seven women and asked them for their travel advice.

Anne

From: United Kingdom Age: 59 Professional background: Civil servant

Anne had a decent job, a comfortable house, a nice car, and lots of friends and family, but for as long as she could remember, she had felt a desire to leave everything behind and travel the world:

“I was feeling rather bored with my life. I had, for as long as I can remember, felt a desire to travel. Several things kinda coincided to bring me to my decision to ‘just go,’ I fit the new criteria for ‘career breaks’ at work, so I applied for a year of unpaid leave.”

For Anne, the reason for going solo was simple: no one was able to travel with her and she had spent too long waiting for the right time or companion, so she just decided to go alone.

“Do it! Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you, if you really want to travel, then find a way and don’t let anyone stop you. I am very fortunate in having taken a partial early retirement so I have a small pension, and I allowed myself a budget from the sale of my house. However, I financed some of my travel by using Workaway. The beauty of this for me was not just the financial side of it but more importantly that you are usually living in your hosts’ home and you become integrated into their family and learn the culture of the country.”

Anita

From: Chicago, IL Age: 53 Professional background: Customer account executive

Anita was resistant to traveling alone at first as her mind raced through all the negatives and what if’s that could happen:

“I thought that traveling solo would be lonely, depressing, and not fun. Those opinions turned out to be totally false. I always end up meeting some of the most interesting people while traveling solo. And I always have the most amazing fun doing my thing, traveling by myself.”

“I would love to say my decision to travel solo was about making a statement to the world, being a brave trendsetter for my generation, all about girl power. But I basically went into solo travel kicking and screaming and resentful. However, my need to travel was stronger than my objection to traveling by myself.”

And, like others, she didn’t want to want any longer for the perfect companion or the perfect time. As she told me, “I didn’t want to put it off until the perfect travel soul mate came along so we could travel together on these life-changing adventures. As I got older I realized that time is of the essence. I might not ever meet my travel soul mate…and that’s OK. I’ve come to love traveling by myself.”

When it comes to naysayers, she says, “I show them my travel photos. But in my head, I’m saying to myself ‘while you’re sitting around getting old and judging me, I’m traveling and having the time of my life.’”

You can find out more about Anita and her adventures on her blog, The Social Tourist.

Helen

From: Toronto, Canada Age: 44 Professional background: Marketing and operations

Helen lived a seminomadic life for a year and a half before returning home to work. She has traveled solo to the Galápagos Islands, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, the West Bank, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, and South Korea.

Of traveling solo, she says she did it “to gain new perspectives on both the world and myself. My travel pursuits have not (and still do not) always match those of my friends and family, but I’m fiercely independent, so I don’t let that deter me from reaching my travel goals.”

Her advice to solo travel hopefuls is to “go for it! You’ll likely discover that you’re stronger and more independent than you thought you were. You’ll learn to be more comfortable with your own company. At the same time, solo travel is a great opportunity to build your social skills, as you’ll find yourself in situations where you’re forced to interact with complete strangers. Don’t be paranoid but trust your instincts — if a location or person seems ‘off,’ steer clear. For a first solo trip, I suggest dipping your toe in the water by choosing a destination that would fit your comfort level, perhaps within your own country or a city where people speak the same language as you do.”

You can read more about Helen’s travels on her blog, Not Without My Passport.

Cate

From: Arizona, USA Age: 72 Professional background: Retired occupational therapist

Cate decided to travel alone since her friends didn’t have the time or the money to do so.

“I went to Hawaii, then pretty much focused on Europe. So far, Rome was way too intimidating. I loved Florence (I have been back several times), and I adore Paris.

She doesn’t worry much about safety as she follows many of the common sense safety rules in the past:

“I avoid trouble by not going out much at night or going to really crowded places. I eat my big meal at noon, have an aperitif in the late afternoon, and a light dinner in my room. I like Airbnb, because someone will know if I don’t come home or will help if I run into trouble.”

She likes to immerse herself, adding, “I try to go for a month at a time, so I don’t feel rushed. I need time to absorb things, to rest, to meditate, etc., so may spend a day doing nothing, and not feel a bit guilty. Using Airbnb makes staying longer an option. Fifty dollars a night for a room is about average, which beats the heck out of $100/night in a hotel. And I try to take tours or classes so I have some contact with people. I spent a week in the Dordogne painting, took a week of French language classes in Tours, then a three-day tour of Andalusia. It was a joy to have someone else deal with the luggage!”

Her advice is “Take your time. Don’t rush. Travel light. Don’t try to cram too much into too little time. Follow your passions. And you can go back to places you really like.”

Julie

From: Manchester, United Kingdom Age: 57 Professional background: Personal and professional development coach

Travel was a dream of Julie’s for more than 30 years. And, when the stars aligned at last, she didn’t dream of waiting for anyone else to join her: she went on a solo backpacking trip.

“It wasn’t daunting, but instead exciting, to be going alone. Doing my own thing, relying solely on myself wasn’t new, and I loved the freedom to find myself again at a point in my life when I was ready to change. I also relished the challenge of finding my own way around. I did have a reputation in the family that I always get lost — and I did! But really, that set me up for this trip — knowing I would get lost and also that I always found my way back home safely!”

When it comes to dealing with naysayers, she says, “You just have to want it enough like I did — I yearned to go ‘one day’ and ached at the thought of missing out on seeing with my own eyes what is ‘out there’ — and that you will find a way somehow, someday.”

Julie also came home with a lot of beautiful new realizations about the world, including “that you can and will overcome problems you meet along the way, that people are there to help too, and you will grow and learn, and develop new skills you would never expect or plan for! Now, for example, I can find my way around and create maps in my head. I just never could do that before.”

Julie currently runs her own business, coaching for personal and professional development, at clearmindco.co.uk. She also maintains a travel blog at Clear Mind Thinking.

Maia

From: Montreal, Canada Age: 40 Professional background: ESL teacher

Maia first went to Europe in her early twenties with a group of girlfriends. She loved the experience and kept planning trips, and when people couldn’t come with her, she went anyway.

“Why wait for someone else, the ‘right’ time, more money, a better plan? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us, and if you don’t go and see the world, that’s on nobody but you.”

On her favorite solo travel spot, she says, “Africa is probably my favorite place to travel, period. I’ve been four times to six countries, Tanzania being my favorite for sure. I’ve gone solo each time, but you never really stay that way. The people I’ve encountered have always been so welcoming that I’ve always felt like I was leaving my family and friends even as I returned to Canada.”

And like the other, she didn’t let negatively or people’s opinions get in the way of what she was doing:

“I had someone in my family once say to me that they were against me traveling to Africa alone, so I kind of turned it around: I profusely apologized, said I completely understood such a position and would definitely not burden that person with any of my planning, promised no Africa talk whatsoever and no news while I was there. It didn’t take long for this person to realize that I was going anyway and what a long six weeks that would be with no info from me. Let’s just say he came around fairly quickly and got on board with my trip. I think that’s what people have to do more of. I say do your thing, and if they come around, great, but if not, that’s on them, not you.”

—-

As I corresponded with these women, I couldn’t help notice some central themes: the desire not to let negativity get in their way, the fear but excitement over traveling alone, and the realization these fears were wrong. It’s something I dealt with when I traveled. There’s a certain universality to these fears that knows no age limit. Maybe our preferences and tastes change over time, but wanderlust never wanes for those of us who are adventurers at heart.

And, I think in this online age with so many young bloggers (myself included), it’s easy to forget that every day women of all ages set out to travel the world and, like Julie did for me, help inspire more women to head out on the road too.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

[fadingfartconnoisseur]

6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. In this column, Kristin shares some insights from solo female travelers who aren’t millennials!

Every now and then I think about Julie, a 77-year-old woman who stayed at the beach bungalow next to me on the island of Gili Air in Indonesia.

She regaled with me stories about being invited by locals to beach barbecues, her adventures, and the fun she had traveling the world. I felt so empowered during our conversations. She was so laid-back and at peace. This was a woman who had lived a long life and bucked the belief that solo female travel was something for the young. The confident role model in front of me showed me that women of any age can enjoy and benefit from travel.

Over the years while writing this column, I have seen a growing number of women asking, “What about those of us who aren’t twenty-something? Where can I read their stories and connect with narratives that are closer to my own?”

The Internet is awash with young, often Western, women traveling the world. They blog and Instagram and get their stories told in big media. There’s that bias toward youth.

But solo female travelers come in all ages, from all kinds of backgrounds, and from all over the world.

Today, I want to share some of the stories of older women travelers and add their voices to the narratives. So I sat down (virtually at least) with seven women and asked them for their travel advice.

Anne

From: United Kingdom Age: 59 Professional background: Civil servant

Anne had a decent job, a comfortable house, a nice car, and lots of friends and family, but for as long as she could remember, she had felt a desire to leave everything behind and travel the world:

“I was feeling rather bored with my life. I had, for as long as I can remember, felt a desire to travel. Several things kinda coincided to bring me to my decision to ‘just go,’ I fit the new criteria for ‘career breaks’ at work, so I applied for a year of unpaid leave.”

For Anne, the reason for going solo was simple: no one was able to travel with her and she had spent too long waiting for the right time or companion, so she just decided to go alone.

“Do it! Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you, if you really want to travel, then find a way and don’t let anyone stop you. I am very fortunate in having taken a partial early retirement so I have a small pension, and I allowed myself a budget from the sale of my house. However, I financed some of my travel by using Workaway. The beauty of this for me was not just the financial side of it but more importantly that you are usually living in your hosts’ home and you become integrated into their family and learn the culture of the country.”

Anita

From: Chicago, IL Age: 53 Professional background: Customer account executive

Anita was resistant to traveling alone at first as her mind raced through all the negatives and what if’s that could happen:

“I thought that traveling solo would be lonely, depressing, and not fun. Those opinions turned out to be totally false. I always end up meeting some of the most interesting people while traveling solo. And I always have the most amazing fun doing my thing, traveling by myself.”

“I would love to say my decision to travel solo was about making a statement to the world, being a brave trendsetter for my generation, all about girl power. But I basically went into solo travel kicking and screaming and resentful. However, my need to travel was stronger than my objection to traveling by myself.”

And, like others, she didn’t want to want any longer for the perfect companion or the perfect time. As she told me, “I didn’t want to put it off until the perfect travel soul mate came along so we could travel together on these life-changing adventures. As I got older I realized that time is of the essence. I might not ever meet my travel soul mate…and that’s OK. I’ve come to love traveling by myself.”

When it comes to naysayers, she says, “I show them my travel photos. But in my head, I’m saying to myself ‘while you’re sitting around getting old and judging me, I’m traveling and having the time of my life.’”

You can find out more about Anita and her adventures on her blog, The Social Tourist.

Helen

From: Toronto, Canada Age: 44 Professional background: Marketing and operations

Helen lived a seminomadic life for a year and a half before returning home to work. She has traveled solo to the Galápagos Islands, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, the West Bank, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, and South Korea.

Of traveling solo, she says she did it “to gain new perspectives on both the world and myself. My travel pursuits have not (and still do not) always match those of my friends and family, but I’m fiercely independent, so I don’t let that deter me from reaching my travel goals.”

Her advice to solo travel hopefuls is to “go for it! You’ll likely discover that you’re stronger and more independent than you thought you were. You’ll learn to be more comfortable with your own company. At the same time, solo travel is a great opportunity to build your social skills, as you’ll find yourself in situations where you’re forced to interact with complete strangers. Don’t be paranoid but trust your instincts — if a location or person seems ‘off,’ steer clear. For a first solo trip, I suggest dipping your toe in the water by choosing a destination that would fit your comfort level, perhaps within your own country or a city where people speak the same language as you do.”

You can read more about Helen’s travels on her blog, Not Without My Passport.

Cate

From: Arizona, USA Age: 72 Professional background: Retired occupational therapist

Cate decided to travel alone since her friends didn’t have the time or the money to do so.

“I went to Hawaii, then pretty much focused on Europe. So far, Rome was way too intimidating. I loved Florence (I have been back several times), and I adore Paris.

She doesn’t worry much about safety as she follows many of the common sense safety rules in the past:

“I avoid trouble by not going out much at night or going to really crowded places. I eat my big meal at noon, have an aperitif in the late afternoon, and a light dinner in my room. I like Airbnb, because someone will know if I don’t come home or will help if I run into trouble.”

She likes to immerse herself, adding, “I try to go for a month at a time, so I don’t feel rushed. I need time to absorb things, to rest, to meditate, etc., so may spend a day doing nothing, and not feel a bit guilty. Using Airbnb makes staying longer an option. Fifty dollars a night for a room is about average, which beats the heck out of $100/night in a hotel. And I try to take tours or classes so I have some contact with people. I spent a week in the Dordogne painting, took a week of French language classes in Tours, then a three-day tour of Andalusia. It was a joy to have someone else deal with the luggage!”

Her advice is “Take your time. Don’t rush. Travel light. Don’t try to cram too much into too little time. Follow your passions. And you can go back to places you really like.”

Julie

From: Manchester, United Kingdom Age: 57 Professional background: Personal and professional development coach

Travel was a dream of Julie’s for more than 30 years. And, when the stars aligned at last, she didn’t dream of waiting for anyone else to join her: she went on a solo backpacking trip.

“It wasn’t daunting, but instead exciting, to be going alone. Doing my own thing, relying solely on myself wasn’t new, and I loved the freedom to find myself again at a point in my life when I was ready to change. I also relished the challenge of finding my own way around. I did have a reputation in the family that I always get lost — and I did! But really, that set me up for this trip — knowing I would get lost and also that I always found my way back home safely!”

When it comes to dealing with naysayers, she says, “You just have to want it enough like I did — I yearned to go ‘one day’ and ached at the thought of missing out on seeing with my own eyes what is ‘out there’ — and that you will find a way somehow, someday.”

Julie also came home with a lot of beautiful new realizations about the world, including “that you can and will overcome problems you meet along the way, that people are there to help too, and you will grow and learn, and develop new skills you would never expect or plan for! Now, for example, I can find my way around and create maps in my head. I just never could do that before.”

Julie currently runs her own business, coaching for personal and professional development, at clearmindco.co.uk. She also maintains a travel blog at Clear Mind Thinking.

Maia

From: Montreal, Canada Age: 40 Professional background: ESL teacher

Maia first went to Europe in her early twenties with a group of girlfriends. She loved the experience and kept planning trips, and when people couldn’t come with her, she went anyway.

“Why wait for someone else, the ‘right’ time, more money, a better plan? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us, and if you don’t go and see the world, that’s on nobody but you.”

On her favorite solo travel spot, she says, “Africa is probably my favorite place to travel, period. I’ve been four times to six countries, Tanzania being my favorite for sure. I’ve gone solo each time, but you never really stay that way. The people I’ve encountered have always been so welcoming that I’ve always felt like I was leaving my family and friends even as I returned to Canada.”

And like the other, she didn’t let negatively or people’s opinions get in the way of what she was doing:

“I had someone in my family once say to me that they were against me traveling to Africa alone, so I kind of turned it around: I profusely apologized, said I completely understood such a position and would definitely not burden that person with any of my planning, promised no Africa talk whatsoever and no news while I was there. It didn’t take long for this person to realize that I was going anyway and what a long six weeks that would be with no info from me. Let’s just say he came around fairly quickly and got on board with my trip. I think that’s what people have to do more of. I say do your thing, and if they come around, great, but if not, that’s on them, not you.”

—-

As I corresponded with these women, I couldn’t help notice some central themes: the desire not to let negativity get in their way, the fear but excitement over traveling alone, and the realization these fears were wrong. It’s something I dealt with when I traveled. There’s a certain universality to these fears that knows no age limit. Maybe our preferences and tastes change over time, but wanderlust never wanes for those of us who are adventurers at heart.

And, I think in this online age with so many young bloggers (myself included), it’s easy to forget that every day women of all ages set out to travel the world and, like Julie did for me, help inspire more women to head out on the road too.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

via Travel Blogs http://ift.tt/2zXRLLy

[vidovicart]

6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. In this column, Kristin shares some insights from solo female travelers who aren’t millennials!

Every now and then I think about Julie, a 77-year-old woman who stayed at the beach bungalow next to me on the island of Gili Air in Indonesia.

She regaled with me stories about being invited by locals to beach barbecues, her adventures, and the fun she had traveling the world. I felt so empowered during our conversations. She was so laid-back and at peace. This was a woman who had lived a long life and bucked the belief that solo female travel was something for the young. The confident role model in front of me showed me that women of any age can enjoy and benefit from travel.

Over the years while writing this column, I have seen a growing number of women asking, “What about those of us who aren’t twenty-something? Where can I read their stories and connect with narratives that are closer to my own?”

The Internet is awash with young, often Western, women traveling the world. They blog and Instagram and get their stories told in big media. There’s that bias toward youth.

But solo female travelers come in all ages, from all kinds of backgrounds, and from all over the world.

Today, I want to share some of the stories of older women travelers and add their voices to the narratives. So I sat down (virtually at least) with seven women and asked them for their travel advice.

Anne

From: United Kingdom Age: 59 Professional background: Civil servant

Anne had a decent job, a comfortable house, a nice car, and lots of friends and family, but for as long as she could remember, she had felt a desire to leave everything behind and travel the world:

“I was feeling rather bored with my life. I had, for as long as I can remember, felt a desire to travel. Several things kinda coincided to bring me to my decision to ‘just go,’ I fit the new criteria for ‘career breaks’ at work, so I applied for a year of unpaid leave.”

For Anne, the reason for going solo was simple: no one was able to travel with her and she had spent too long waiting for the right time or companion, so she just decided to go alone.

“Do it! Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you, if you really want to travel, then find a way and don’t let anyone stop you. I am very fortunate in having taken a partial early retirement so I have a small pension, and I allowed myself a budget from the sale of my house. However, I financed some of my travel by using Workaway. The beauty of this for me was not just the financial side of it but more importantly that you are usually living in your hosts’ home and you become integrated into their family and learn the culture of the country.”

Anita

From: Chicago, IL Age: 53 Professional background: Customer account executive

Anita was resistant to traveling alone at first as her mind raced through all the negatives and what if’s that could happen:

“I thought that traveling solo would be lonely, depressing, and not fun. Those opinions turned out to be totally false. I always end up meeting some of the most interesting people while traveling solo. And I always have the most amazing fun doing my thing, traveling by myself.”

“I would love to say my decision to travel solo was about making a statement to the world, being a brave trendsetter for my generation, all about girl power. But I basically went into solo travel kicking and screaming and resentful. However, my need to travel was stronger than my objection to traveling by myself.”

And, like others, she didn’t want to want any longer for the perfect companion or the perfect time. As she told me, “I didn’t want to put it off until the perfect travel soul mate came along so we could travel together on these life-changing adventures. As I got older I realized that time is of the essence. I might not ever meet my travel soul mate…and that’s OK. I’ve come to love traveling by myself.”

When it comes to naysayers, she says, “I show them my travel photos. But in my head, I’m saying to myself ‘while you’re sitting around getting old and judging me, I’m traveling and having the time of my life.’”

You can find out more about Anita and her adventures on her blog, The Social Tourist.

Helen

From: Toronto, Canada Age: 44 Professional background: Marketing and operations

Helen lived a seminomadic life for a year and a half before returning home to work. She has traveled solo to the Galápagos Islands, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, the West Bank, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, and South Korea.

Of traveling solo, she says she did it “to gain new perspectives on both the world and myself. My travel pursuits have not (and still do not) always match those of my friends and family, but I’m fiercely independent, so I don’t let that deter me from reaching my travel goals.”

Her advice to solo travel hopefuls is to “go for it! You’ll likely discover that you’re stronger and more independent than you thought you were. You’ll learn to be more comfortable with your own company. At the same time, solo travel is a great opportunity to build your social skills, as you’ll find yourself in situations where you’re forced to interact with complete strangers. Don’t be paranoid but trust your instincts — if a location or person seems ‘off,’ steer clear. For a first solo trip, I suggest dipping your toe in the water by choosing a destination that would fit your comfort level, perhaps within your own country or a city where people speak the same language as you do.”

You can read more about Helen’s travels on her blog, Not Without My Passport.

Cate

From: Arizona, USA Age: 72 Professional background: Retired occupational therapist

Cate decided to travel alone since her friends didn’t have the time or the money to do so.

“I went to Hawaii, then pretty much focused on Europe. So far, Rome was way too intimidating. I loved Florence (I have been back several times), and I adore Paris.

She doesn’t worry much about safety as she follows many of the common sense safety rules in the past:

“I avoid trouble by not going out much at night or going to really crowded places. I eat my big meal at noon, have an aperitif in the late afternoon, and a light dinner in my room. I like Airbnb, because someone will know if I don’t come home or will help if I run into trouble.”

She likes to immerse herself, adding, “I try to go for a month at a time, so I don’t feel rushed. I need time to absorb things, to rest, to meditate, etc., so may spend a day doing nothing, and not feel a bit guilty. Using Airbnb makes staying longer an option. Fifty dollars a night for a room is about average, which beats the heck out of $100/night in a hotel. And I try to take tours or classes so I have some contact with people. I spent a week in the Dordogne painting, took a week of French language classes in Tours, then a three-day tour of Andalusia. It was a joy to have someone else deal with the luggage!”

Her advice is “Take your time. Don’t rush. Travel light. Don’t try to cram too much into too little time. Follow your passions. And you can go back to places you really like.”

Julie

From: Manchester, United Kingdom Age: 57 Professional background: Personal and professional development coach

Travel was a dream of Julie’s for more than 30 years. And, when the stars aligned at last, she didn’t dream of waiting for anyone else to join her: she went on a solo backpacking trip.

“It wasn’t daunting, but instead exciting, to be going alone. Doing my own thing, relying solely on myself wasn’t new, and I loved the freedom to find myself again at a point in my life when I was ready to change. I also relished the challenge of finding my own way around. I did have a reputation in the family that I always get lost — and I did! But really, that set me up for this trip — knowing I would get lost and also that I always found my way back home safely!”

When it comes to dealing with naysayers, she says, “You just have to want it enough like I did — I yearned to go ‘one day’ and ached at the thought of missing out on seeing with my own eyes what is ‘out there’ — and that you will find a way somehow, someday.”

Julie also came home with a lot of beautiful new realizations about the world, including “that you can and will overcome problems you meet along the way, that people are there to help too, and you will grow and learn, and develop new skills you would never expect or plan for! Now, for example, I can find my way around and create maps in my head. I just never could do that before.”

Julie currently runs her own business, coaching for personal and professional development, at clearmindco.co.uk. She also maintains a travel blog at Clear Mind Thinking.

Maia

From: Montreal, Canada Age: 40 Professional background: ESL teacher

Maia first went to Europe in her early twenties with a group of girlfriends. She loved the experience and kept planning trips, and when people couldn’t come with her, she went anyway.

“Why wait for someone else, the ‘right’ time, more money, a better plan? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us, and if you don’t go and see the world, that’s on nobody but you.”

On her favorite solo travel spot, she says, “Africa is probably my favorite place to travel, period. I’ve been four times to six countries, Tanzania being my favorite for sure. I’ve gone solo each time, but you never really stay that way. The people I’ve encountered have always been so welcoming that I’ve always felt like I was leaving my family and friends even as I returned to Canada.”

And like the other, she didn’t let negatively or people’s opinions get in the way of what she was doing:

“I had someone in my family once say to me that they were against me traveling to Africa alone, so I kind of turned it around: I profusely apologized, said I completely understood such a position and would definitely not burden that person with any of my planning, promised no Africa talk whatsoever and no news while I was there. It didn’t take long for this person to realize that I was going anyway and what a long six weeks that would be with no info from me. Let’s just say he came around fairly quickly and got on board with my trip. I think that’s what people have to do more of. I say do your thing, and if they come around, great, but if not, that’s on them, not you.”

—-

As I corresponded with these women, I couldn’t help notice some central themes: the desire not to let negativity get in their way, the fear but excitement over traveling alone, and the realization these fears were wrong. It’s something I dealt with when I traveled. There’s a certain universality to these fears that knows no age limit. Maybe our preferences and tastes change over time, but wanderlust never wanes for those of us who are adventurers at heart.

And, I think in this online age with so many young bloggers (myself included), it’s easy to forget that every day women of all ages set out to travel the world and, like Julie did for me, help inspire more women to head out on the road too.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

[melissagarcia8]

6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. In this column, Kristin shares some insights from solo female travelers who aren’t millennials!

Every now and then I think about Julie, a 77-year-old woman who stayed at the beach bungalow next to me on the island of Gili Air in Indonesia.

She regaled with me stories about being invited by locals to beach barbecues, her adventures, and the fun she had traveling the world. I felt so empowered during our conversations. She was so laid-back and at peace. This was a woman who had lived a long life and bucked the belief that solo female travel was something for the young. The confident role model in front of me showed me that women of any age can enjoy and benefit from travel.

Over the years while writing this column, I have seen a growing number of women asking, “What about those of us who aren’t twenty-something? Where can I read their stories and connect with narratives that are closer to my own?”

The Internet is awash with young, often Western, women traveling the world. They blog and Instagram and get their stories told in big media. There’s that bias toward youth.

But solo female travelers come in all ages, from all kinds of backgrounds, and from all over the world.

Today, I want to share some of the stories of older women travelers and add their voices to the narratives. So I sat down (virtually at least) with seven women and asked them for their travel advice.

Anne

From: United Kingdom Age: 59 Professional background: Civil servant

Anne had a decent job, a comfortable house, a nice car, and lots of friends and family, but for as long as she could remember, she had felt a desire to leave everything behind and travel the world:

“I was feeling rather bored with my life. I had, for as long as I can remember, felt a desire to travel. Several things kinda coincided to bring me to my decision to ‘just go,’ I fit the new criteria for ‘career breaks’ at work, so I applied for a year of unpaid leave.”

For Anne, the reason for going solo was simple: no one was able to travel with her and she had spent too long waiting for the right time or companion, so she just decided to go alone.

“Do it! Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you, if you really want to travel, then find a way and don’t let anyone stop you. I am very fortunate in having taken a partial early retirement so I have a small pension, and I allowed myself a budget from the sale of my house. However, I financed some of my travel by using Workaway. The beauty of this for me was not just the financial side of it but more importantly that you are usually living in your hosts’ home and you become integrated into their family and learn the culture of the country.”

Anita

From: Chicago, IL Age: 53 Professional background: Customer account executive

Anita was resistant to traveling alone at first as her mind raced through all the negatives and what if’s that could happen:

“I thought that traveling solo would be lonely, depressing, and not fun. Those opinions turned out to be totally false. I always end up meeting some of the most interesting people while traveling solo. And I always have the most amazing fun doing my thing, traveling by myself.”

“I would love to say my decision to travel solo was about making a statement to the world, being a brave trendsetter for my generation, all about girl power. But I basically went into solo travel kicking and screaming and resentful. However, my need to travel was stronger than my objection to traveling by myself.”

And, like others, she didn’t want to want any longer for the perfect companion or the perfect time. As she told me, “I didn’t want to put it off until the perfect travel soul mate came along so we could travel together on these life-changing adventures. As I got older I realized that time is of the essence. I might not ever meet my travel soul mate…and that’s OK. I’ve come to love traveling by myself.”

When it comes to naysayers, she says, “I show them my travel photos. But in my head, I’m saying to myself ‘while you’re sitting around getting old and judging me, I’m traveling and having the time of my life.’”

You can find out more about Anita and her adventures on her blog, The Social Tourist.

Helen

From: Toronto, Canada Age: 44 Professional background: Marketing and operations

Helen lived a seminomadic life for a year and a half before returning home to work. She has traveled solo to the Galápagos Islands, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, the West Bank, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, and South Korea.

Of traveling solo, she says she did it “to gain new perspectives on both the world and myself. My travel pursuits have not (and still do not) always match those of my friends and family, but I’m fiercely independent, so I don’t let that deter me from reaching my travel goals.”

Her advice to solo travel hopefuls is to “go for it! You’ll likely discover that you’re stronger and more independent than you thought you were. You’ll learn to be more comfortable with your own company. At the same time, solo travel is a great opportunity to build your social skills, as you’ll find yourself in situations where you’re forced to interact with complete strangers. Don’t be paranoid but trust your instincts — if a location or person seems ‘off,’ steer clear. For a first solo trip, I suggest dipping your toe in the water by choosing a destination that would fit your comfort level, perhaps within your own country or a city where people speak the same language as you do.”

You can read more about Helen’s travels on her blog, Not Without My Passport.

Cate

From: Arizona, USA Age: 72 Professional background: Retired occupational therapist

Cate decided to travel alone since her friends didn’t have the time or the money to do so.

“I went to Hawaii, then pretty much focused on Europe. So far, Rome was way too intimidating. I loved Florence (I have been back several times), and I adore Paris.

She doesn’t worry much about safety as she follows many of the common sense safety rules in the past:

“I avoid trouble by not going out much at night or going to really crowded places. I eat my big meal at noon, have an aperitif in the late afternoon, and a light dinner in my room. I like Airbnb, because someone will know if I don’t come home or will help if I run into trouble.”

She likes to immerse herself, adding, “I try to go for a month at a time, so I don’t feel rushed. I need time to absorb things, to rest, to meditate, etc., so may spend a day doing nothing, and not feel a bit guilty. Using Airbnb makes staying longer an option. Fifty dollars a night for a room is about average, which beats the heck out of $100/night in a hotel. And I try to take tours or classes so I have some contact with people. I spent a week in the Dordogne painting, took a week of French language classes in Tours, then a three-day tour of Andalusia. It was a joy to have someone else deal with the luggage!”

Her advice is “Take your time. Don’t rush. Travel light. Don’t try to cram too much into too little time. Follow your passions. And you can go back to places you really like.”

Julie

From: Manchester, United Kingdom Age: 57 Professional background: Personal and professional development coach

Travel was a dream of Julie’s for more than 30 years. And, when the stars aligned at last, she didn’t dream of waiting for anyone else to join her: she went on a solo backpacking trip.

“It wasn’t daunting, but instead exciting, to be going alone. Doing my own thing, relying solely on myself wasn’t new, and I loved the freedom to find myself again at a point in my life when I was ready to change. I also relished the challenge of finding my own way around. I did have a reputation in the family that I always get lost — and I did! But really, that set me up for this trip — knowing I would get lost and also that I always found my way back home safely!”

When it comes to dealing with naysayers, she says, “You just have to want it enough like I did — I yearned to go ‘one day’ and ached at the thought of missing out on seeing with my own eyes what is ‘out there’ — and that you will find a way somehow, someday.”

Julie also came home with a lot of beautiful new realizations about the world, including “that you can and will overcome problems you meet along the way, that people are there to help too, and you will grow and learn, and develop new skills you would never expect or plan for! Now, for example, I can find my way around and create maps in my head. I just never could do that before.”

Julie currently runs her own business, coaching for personal and professional development, at clearmindco.co.uk. She also maintains a travel blog at Clear Mind Thinking.

Maia

From: Montreal, Canada Age: 40 Professional background: ESL teacher

Maia first went to Europe in her early twenties with a group of girlfriends. She loved the experience and kept planning trips, and when people couldn’t come with her, she went anyway.

“Why wait for someone else, the ‘right’ time, more money, a better plan? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us, and if you don’t go and see the world, that’s on nobody but you.”

On her favorite solo travel spot, she says, “Africa is probably my favorite place to travel, period. I’ve been four times to six countries, Tanzania being my favorite for sure. I’ve gone solo each time, but you never really stay that way. The people I’ve encountered have always been so welcoming that I’ve always felt like I was leaving my family and friends even as I returned to Canada.”

And like the other, she didn’t let negatively or people’s opinions get in the way of what she was doing:

“I had someone in my family once say to me that they were against me traveling to Africa alone, so I kind of turned it around: I profusely apologized, said I completely understood such a position and would definitely not burden that person with any of my planning, promised no Africa talk whatsoever and no news while I was there. It didn’t take long for this person to realize that I was going anyway and what a long six weeks that would be with no info from me. Let’s just say he came around fairly quickly and got on board with my trip. I think that’s what people have to do more of. I say do your thing, and if they come around, great, but if not, that’s on them, not you.”

—-

As I corresponded with these women, I couldn’t help notice some central themes: the desire not to let negativity get in their way, the fear but excitement over traveling alone, and the realization these fears were wrong. It’s something I dealt with when I traveled. There’s a certain universality to these fears that knows no age limit. Maybe our preferences and tastes change over time, but wanderlust never wanes for those of us who are adventurers at heart.

And, I think in this online age with so many young bloggers (myself included), it’s easy to forget that every day women of all ages set out to travel the world and, like Julie did for me, help inspire more women to head out on the road too.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Traveling News https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/non-millennial-solo-female-travelers/

[tamboradventure]

6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom

Kristin Addis from Be My Travel Muse writes our regular column on solo female travel. It’s an important topic I can’t adequately cover, so I brought in an expert to share her advice for other women travelers to help cover the topics important and specific to them! She’s amazing and knowledgable. In this column, Kristin shares some insights from solo female travelers who aren’t millennials!

Every now and then I think about Julie, a 77-year-old woman who stayed at the beach bungalow next to me on the island of Gili Air in Indonesia.

She regaled with me stories about being invited by locals to beach barbecues, her adventures, and the fun she had traveling the world. I felt so empowered during our conversations. She was so laid-back and at peace. This was a woman who had lived a long life and bucked the belief that solo female travel was something for the young. The confident role model in front of me showed me that women of any age can enjoy and benefit from travel.

Over the years while writing this column, I have seen a growing number of women asking, “What about those of us who aren’t twenty-something? Where can I read their stories and connect with narratives that are closer to my own?”

The Internet is awash with young, often Western, women traveling the world. They blog and Instagram and get their stories told in big media. There’s that bias toward youth.

But solo female travelers come in all ages, from all kinds of backgrounds, and from all over the world.

Today, I want to share some of the stories of older women travelers and add their voices to the narratives. So I sat down (virtually at least) with seven women and asked them for their travel advice.

Anne

From: United Kingdom Age: 59 Professional background: Civil servant

Anne had a decent job, a comfortable house, a nice car, and lots of friends and family, but for as long as she could remember, she had felt a desire to leave everything behind and travel the world:

“I was feeling rather bored with my life. I had, for as long as I can remember, felt a desire to travel. Several things kinda coincided to bring me to my decision to ‘just go,’ I fit the new criteria for ‘career breaks’ at work, so I applied for a year of unpaid leave.”

For Anne, the reason for going solo was simple: no one was able to travel with her and she had spent too long waiting for the right time or companion, so she just decided to go alone.

“Do it! Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you, if you really want to travel, then find a way and don’t let anyone stop you. I am very fortunate in having taken a partial early retirement so I have a small pension, and I allowed myself a budget from the sale of my house. However, I financed some of my travel by using Workaway. The beauty of this for me was not just the financial side of it but more importantly that you are usually living in your hosts’ home and you become integrated into their family and learn the culture of the country.”

Anita

From: Chicago, IL Age: 53 Professional background: Customer account executive

Anita was resistant to traveling alone at first as her mind raced through all the negatives and what if’s that could happen:

“I thought that traveling solo would be lonely, depressing, and not fun. Those opinions turned out to be totally false. I always end up meeting some of the most interesting people while traveling solo. And I always have the most amazing fun doing my thing, traveling by myself.”

“I would love to say my decision to travel solo was about making a statement to the world, being a brave trendsetter for my generation, all about girl power. But I basically went into solo travel kicking and screaming and resentful. However, my need to travel was stronger than my objection to traveling by myself.”

And, like others, she didn’t want to want any longer for the perfect companion or the perfect time. As she told me, “I didn’t want to put it off until the perfect travel soul mate came along so we could travel together on these life-changing adventures. As I got older I realized that time is of the essence. I might not ever meet my travel soul mate…and that’s OK. I’ve come to love traveling by myself.”

When it comes to naysayers, she says, “I show them my travel photos. But in my head, I’m saying to myself ‘while you’re sitting around getting old and judging me, I’m traveling and having the time of my life.’”

You can find out more about Anita and her adventures on her blog, The Social Tourist.

Helen

From: Toronto, Canada Age: 44 Professional background: Marketing and operations

Helen lived a seminomadic life for a year and a half before returning home to work. She has traveled solo to the Galápagos Islands, Kenya, Tanzania, India, Turkey, Jordan, Israel, the West Bank, Malaysia, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos, Indonesia, and South Korea.

Of traveling solo, she says she did it “to gain new perspectives on both the world and myself. My travel pursuits have not (and still do not) always match those of my friends and family, but I’m fiercely independent, so I don’t let that deter me from reaching my travel goals.”

Her advice to solo travel hopefuls is to “go for it! You’ll likely discover that you’re stronger and more independent than you thought you were. You’ll learn to be more comfortable with your own company. At the same time, solo travel is a great opportunity to build your social skills, as you’ll find yourself in situations where you’re forced to interact with complete strangers. Don’t be paranoid but trust your instincts — if a location or person seems ‘off,’ steer clear. For a first solo trip, I suggest dipping your toe in the water by choosing a destination that would fit your comfort level, perhaps within your own country or a city where people speak the same language as you do.”

You can read more about Helen’s travels on her blog, Not Without My Passport.

Cate

From: Arizona, USA Age: 72 Professional background: Retired occupational therapist

Cate decided to travel alone since her friends didn’t have the time or the money to do so.

“I went to Hawaii, then pretty much focused on Europe. So far, Rome was way too intimidating. I loved Florence (I have been back several times), and I adore Paris.

She doesn’t worry much about safety as she follows many of the common sense safety rules in the past:

“I avoid trouble by not going out much at night or going to really crowded places. I eat my big meal at noon, have an aperitif in the late afternoon, and a light dinner in my room. I like Airbnb, because someone will know if I don’t come home or will help if I run into trouble.”

She likes to immerse herself, adding, “I try to go for a month at a time, so I don’t feel rushed. I need time to absorb things, to rest, to meditate, etc., so may spend a day doing nothing, and not feel a bit guilty. Using Airbnb makes staying longer an option. Fifty dollars a night for a room is about average, which beats the heck out of $100/night in a hotel. And I try to take tours or classes so I have some contact with people. I spent a week in the Dordogne painting, took a week of French language classes in Tours, then a three-day tour of Andalusia. It was a joy to have someone else deal with the luggage!”

Her advice is “Take your time. Don’t rush. Travel light. Don’t try to cram too much into too little time. Follow your passions. And you can go back to places you really like.”

Julie

From: Manchester, United Kingdom Age: 57 Professional background: Personal and professional development coach

Travel was a dream of Julie’s for more than 30 years. And, when the stars aligned at last, she didn’t dream of waiting for anyone else to join her: she went on a solo backpacking trip.

“It wasn’t daunting, but instead exciting, to be going alone. Doing my own thing, relying solely on myself wasn’t new, and I loved the freedom to find myself again at a point in my life when I was ready to change. I also relished the challenge of finding my own way around. I did have a reputation in the family that I always get lost — and I did! But really, that set me up for this trip — knowing I would get lost and also that I always found my way back home safely!”

When it comes to dealing with naysayers, she says, “You just have to want it enough like I did — I yearned to go ‘one day’ and ached at the thought of missing out on seeing with my own eyes what is ‘out there’ — and that you will find a way somehow, someday.”

Julie also came home with a lot of beautiful new realizations about the world, including “that you can and will overcome problems you meet along the way, that people are there to help too, and you will grow and learn, and develop new skills you would never expect or plan for! Now, for example, I can find my way around and create maps in my head. I just never could do that before.”

Julie currently runs her own business, coaching for personal and professional development, at clearmindco.co.uk. She also maintains a travel blog at Clear Mind Thinking.

Maia

From: Montreal, Canada Age: 40 Professional background: ESL teacher

Maia first went to Europe in her early twenties with a group of girlfriends. She loved the experience and kept planning trips, and when people couldn’t come with her, she went anyway.

“Why wait for someone else, the ‘right’ time, more money, a better plan? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us, and if you don’t go and see the world, that’s on nobody but you.”

On her favorite solo travel spot, she says, “Africa is probably my favorite place to travel, period. I’ve been four times to six countries, Tanzania being my favorite for sure. I’ve gone solo each time, but you never really stay that way. The people I’ve encountered have always been so welcoming that I’ve always felt like I was leaving my family and friends even as I returned to Canada.”

And like the other, she didn’t let negatively or people’s opinions get in the way of what she was doing:

“I had someone in my family once say to me that they were against me traveling to Africa alone, so I kind of turned it around: I profusely apologized, said I completely understood such a position and would definitely not burden that person with any of my planning, promised no Africa talk whatsoever and no news while I was there. It didn’t take long for this person to realize that I was going anyway and what a long six weeks that would be with no info from me. Let’s just say he came around fairly quickly and got on board with my trip. I think that’s what people have to do more of. I say do your thing, and if they come around, great, but if not, that’s on them, not you.”

—-

As I corresponded with these women, I couldn’t help notice some central themes: the desire not to let negativity get in their way, the fear but excitement over traveling alone, and the realization these fears were wrong. It’s something I dealt with when I traveled. There’s a certain universality to these fears that knows no age limit. Maybe our preferences and tastes change over time, but wanderlust never wanes for those of us who are adventurers at heart.

And, I think in this online age with so many young bloggers (myself included), it’s easy to forget that every day women of all ages set out to travel the world and, like Julie did for me, help inspire more women to head out on the road too.

Kristin Addis is a solo female travel expert who inspires women to travel the world in an authentic and adventurous way. A former investment banker who sold all of her belongings and left California in 2012, Kristin has solo traveled the world for over four years, covering every continent (except for Antarctica, but it’s on her list). You can find more of her musings at Be My Travel Muse or on Instagram and Facebook.

Conquering Mountains: The ultimate Guide to Solo Female Travel

For a complete A-to-Z guide on solo female travel, check out Kristin’s new book, Conquering Mountains. Besides discussing many of the practical tips of preparing and planning your trip, the book addresses the fears, safety, and emotional concerns women have about traveling alone. It features over 20 interviews with other female travel writers and travelers. Click here to learn more about the book and start reading it today!

The post 6 (Non-Millennial) Solo Female Travelers Share Their Travel Wisdom appeared first on Nomadic Matt's Travel Site.

from Travel Blog – Nomadic Matt's Travel Site http://ift.tt/2zXRLLy via IFTTT

[gaiatheorist]

Universal Support?

https://quinonostantemuses.wordpress.com/2017/11/30/iapt-the-governments-magic-cure-for-mental-health/

I read that yesterday, shaking my head didn’t do much in the way of keeping me warm. I can’t remember when I applied for one of the CBT-monkey vacancies the NHS was advertising, early summer, probably. I’d thought that, with my background in mentoring, and complex case planning, I’d have a solid foundation for the one-year placement and university course. I didn’t want to think too much about the skills that a previous sales-related job would add to my application, the way I can listen to what is said, as well as what is not said, and use subtle linguistic twists to influence. I hate doing that without purpose, so I tried to convince myself that I’d be able to use that dubious ‘power’ for good, and not for selling snake-oil, and telling people to ‘look on the bright side.’ 

Cynical? Very. I think there were 30+ vacancies in my area alone, and I did see through the superficial ‘more mental health staff’ headlines, to the link with the UK’s overhauled benefits systems. My application was declined, no feedback, just ‘unsuccessful on this occasion.’

My issue with CBT being offered to people with disabilities and complex mental health conditions, in an attempt to equip them for the world of work is that health conditions are not behaviours. I am fully cognisant of my limitations, recognising that the coils of metal sealing up my brain aneurysms have impacted on me physically, emotionally, and cognitively isn’t a silver bullet that can undo the fact that they exist. Understanding that my damaged brain has to work harder than an undamaged one to achieve basic functionality does not empower me to change it, I’m only lucky in that my previous history makes working-around issues come naturally to me. If I hadn’t been ‘me’ before the catastrophic brain haemorrhage, and subsequent surgeries, I might be dead already. Hyperbole? I don’t think so, I won’t bore you with the mundane details of having to do pretty much everything differently with a re-modelled brain, just to maintain a basic level of personal safety, but that half-day of training on Risk Assessments in 2008 has really paid off. 

It’s workers vs shirkers on a whole new level, the myth of the ‘bad back’, and ‘bit of depression’ is being re-circulated as people are moved from Disability Living Allowance, and Employment Support Allowance onto Personal Independence Payment. Or not, in many cases, I’ve read reports of people offering their assessors cups of tea, and being marked fully able to prepare meals on the basis of that. I read a report of an applicant being asked who did their make-up for them. My reports are littered with assumptions and speculation, as well as the hilarious ‘hair was clean and neatly styled.’, if you’ve ever seen me, you know there’s nothing ‘styled’ about me, I wonder if being able to yank the hair that hasn’t fallen out yet into a pony-tail makes me qualified for a hairdressing apprenticeship on £3.50 per hour?

We’re not faking it, and these systems are designed to infer that we are. “Would be reasonable to assume that, as she can ‘y’, she could also ‘x’.”, well, no, it wouldn’t, because many of us have fluctuating conditions, mine fluctuates daily, I’m very functional for the early part of most days, and beyond-useless by mid-afternoon. I’m managing to continue existing because I utilise that window of productivity, knowing that I’ll be barely functional by the evening. That’s a behaviour. I choose to do anything that needs doing in the morning, because I know I won’t be capable in the evening. Flipping that out, to the way some therapists would re-frame it, what would happen if I didn’t? What would happen if I chose to change that behaviour? Things wouldn’t be done. I can live with there being two days worth of dishes still in the sink, there’s only me here, and the dinner-set is a standard 4-person one. (Yes, the fact that I’m generally only eating once a day helps with that.) I can live on one meal a day, because I’m barely expending any energy. I can just about manage enough screen-time to complete the 10 hours a week of work-search on my Claimant Commitment ‘due to health reasons’. I need to find time over the next couple of days to contact a couple of utility providers, and tell them I’m cancelling my direct debits to ensure I can feed my son over his Christmas break from university. They’ll suggest food banks, I’ll politely but assertively state that they make millions of pounds in profit every year, and are going to have to let me go into arrears.  

IAPT and CBT aren’t enough for some of us. I’ve been seeing an IAPT counsellor since April. My condition won’t be shaken off by months of “That wasn’t your fault.” “You didn’t choose that.” and “Be assertive, think positive.” He is really quite sweet, but his training is for lower-level mental health conditions, which is not what I’m presenting him with, I’m more of a ‘complex neurological’ case, and, with it looking like the neuro-psychology department of the hospital has recently re-structured, it might be a fair while before my appointment comes through. 

My concern with the CBT sticking-plaster isn’t for me. I can evidence that I’m doing what I can to alleviate the impacts of my physical health on my mental health, and vice-versa. I am ticking the right boxes, and self-sourcing the right referrals, I’m highly unlikely to be allocated a CBT-monkey, and fairly certain I’d have them on sick leave themselves if it comes to that. My concern is that the powers-that-be think that a six-week course of “Don’t do that, do this.” is going to cure people with massively complex conditions. My concern is that there will be assumptive “Well, it worked for me!” statements from people with lower-level mental health conditions that were viable for CBT. My concern is the potential for people with complex conditions being ‘did not attend’ dropped from their IAPT practitioner’s caseload, and potentially sanctioned for failing to attend an appointment that wasn’t in any way suitable or beneficial.

It might work for some people, but it won’t work for all. For those of us with more complex issues, there’s likely to be a backlash of “You’re not even TRYING to get better!” if, and when the low-level interventions roll out. Sorry, I’ll just not-have brain injuries, and bits of metal holding two aneurysms sealed, with a third ‘risky, inoperable’ aneurysm lurking on my brain stem, there you go, all better! It might work to build confidence in some people, the same people I’ll be in competition with for the ‘NHS open day for people with disabilities’ next week. 

[davidchill]

The Last Day

I’ve always been told that moving home is more stressful than divorce, but having never experienced the latter then I couldn’t possibly draw parallels. Although I suspect a lot would depend on the circumstances, and who you were divorcing…

As for moving, up until quite recently I would have never described moving as stressful. My move to Stanstead Abbotts was child’s play, simply because I was moving from my parents home and having all my new furniture delivered. So it can’t be classed as a real move as there was no faffing around with a removal company, or trying to find burly friends who were willing to sacrifice their Saturday afternoon.

However, my final days in Stanstead Abbotts were possibly the most stressful I’ve ever experienced (and I’ve had some belters over the last few years). The sale of my flat had now been dragging on for longer than an ill-conceived soap opera storyline, and the prospect of it falling through at any moment was all too real. Well, maybe that was never going to happen, but my anxiety was now at unprecedented levels, and anxiety thrives on worst case scenarios, like a dog rolling around in fox poo. So with that in mind I did everything in my power to wrap things up, post haste.

After eleven weeks of what should have been a “straightforward, chain free sale”, I still had no idea of when we were exchanging contracts, and with another mortgage payment looming (that I simply couldn’t afford to pay) I didn’t have the luxury of exchanging contracts and then waiting another week or two to complete. I couldn’t even think about looking for anywhere to live until I had money for a deposit, so I needed the money from the sale as soon as humanly possible.

“I’ve not known anything like it” said the estate agent, when asked if it was normal for such a sale to be so excruciatingly painful.

I don’t have the words to describe my conveyancers. They’d ask me for documents that I’d send immediately, and two weeks later they’re asking me for the same documents. There was question after question from the buyer’s solicitor, and the freeholders of my flat were taking a dog’s age to respond. “Is there anything I can do to expedite things?” I asked. Yes, I used the word “expedite” because I thought solicitors used words like that, and I needed to be speaking their language. “No, there’s nothing you can do to help” said a member of the conveyancing team with a great degree of certainty.

I glanced at Luna, and I think all the hope had left my eyes, because she looked back at me, as if to say; “You need to get it together, because if this goes tits up I’m going back to the animal shelter”

They say that if you want a job done properly then you need to do it yourself, so I rummaged through all my paperwork and unearthed invoices sent to me from the freeholders, dating back three years. This was conclusive proof that I’d paid all my ground rent right up until February 2017, and didn’t have any arrears. I knew they’d question my most recent invoice, and in the absence of a receipt I just sent a copy of my bank statement and hoped for the best.

So would this information satisfy the buyer’s solicitor?

Yes. Yes it did. In fact it “expedited” proceedings quite dramatically.

In fact my “meddling” (like one of those pesky kids in Scooby-Doo) meant that we no longer needed to wait countless more days/weeks for this information to come from the freeholders, and before I knew it my estate agent was “hollering” me into the office as I was en route home from the co-op with my beans and bread. “We’re looking at exchange and completion on the same day, so get ready to move on Friday!” He  said, gleefully… on Tuesday afternoon. I now had a couple of days to pack everything and book a removal van. Yet, the seed of doubt in my head remained… “What exactly would happen if this all fell through on Friday, right before we exchanged? On a scale of 1 to 10 how screwed would I be?”

That scale should have really gone up to 11.

As I arrived home, Luna gave me a look, as if she knew something had hit the fan, or something was en route to the fan at very high speed.

A phone call to the removal company assured me that they could help me at short notice, but the move needed to happen on Thursday, one day earlier than exchange and completion, which gave me even less time to pack and make arrangements for Luna to be elsewhere…

I’ve tried to imagine what moving day would have been like with Luna running around, and the images in my head get really, really ugly. I can’t actually process this scenario, but needless to say it would have been absolute bedlam.

I probably managed to get around 70% of my stuff prepared for the removal men in a very short space of time. The rest would have to go into another storage unit on Friday, and I’d need to rope my dad into helping me.

That’s when everything went pear shaped.

On Friday July 21st, prior to exchanging contracts, the buyer sent in two professional “end of tenancy” cleaners at 9:30am. Now I understand that she was a first time buyer, and probably didn’t know how the process worked, but bearing in mind this was still my property I thought that was a rather bold, and somewhat cheeky, move. She’d already sent people round to measure up for a sofa without letting me know, and on that occasion I told them to come back another time. “Just let them get on with it” said the estate agent. “If it doesn’t complete on Friday then you’ll just have a really clean flat!” He chuckled.

Well, I’m not sure if he actually chuckled, but I imagine he cracked a smirk when he sent that e-mail.

In a nutshell; it was absolute chaos.

As I was trying to pack the cleaners were trying to clean around me. I was getting in their way, and they were most certainly getting in my way.

My “happy” veil slipped slightly, when I got a bit irate with one of them and asked who thought this would be a good idea. I was incredibly peeved to return from dumping my mattress to find that things had been removed from my wall, and my landline had been unplugged.

Yes, I was well within my right to tell them to go away and come back another day, but if there was even a 0.5% chance that the buyer would get offended and pull out of the sale then that was a risk I wasn’t prepared to take. In the end I just got a bin liner and chucked the contents of the kitchen in there, before dumping everything out in the garden. There was cutlery mixed with rubbish, laundry, and all sorts of junk that I’d not had time to organise.

At around 3pm I made my way to the office of the estate agent to let off some steam, where I was reliably informed that the sale had now completed, and I needed to get everything out of there pretty sharpish as it was no longer my property. I’m not entirely sure when my conveyancers were going to tell me this bit of news, but a phone call merely “expedited” my rage.

Quite simply, yes, the sale had completed a couple of hours previously, and I wasn’t going to see any of my money that day.

That’s usually how it works, right? You sell a property and on completion you get your money. If not immediately then certainly a few hours later?

No, these guys were going to hold my money over the weekend and then transfer it into my account on Monday.

I had no words.

Apparently because I was only a co-owner I had to write a note saying that I was happy for 50% of the money to be paid to the other owner… and I then had to take a photo of that note and send it to them. That’s all fair enough, but I asked why I wasn’t given this handy bit of information weeks previously, when I specifically asked if there was anything they needed from me to avoid such delays.

They had no answers.

So after a really messy/hasty exit, I was happy to see the back of that flat. My home that I loved, that I had so many plans for, had become my prison. When you reach a point when you can no longer afford to feed or clothe yourself, then you know something has to give. Sadly, I just didn’t have enough breathing space to get my finances in order and reboot. The demon of debt had just done too much irreversible damage and, barring a miracle, there was just no other way out.

Thankfully, I finally received my money on the Monday morning, as I’d demanded it reached my account by noon. I’m not sure why I chose noon as the deadline, but I watched a lot of westerns as a child and that always seemed to be the best time for a showdown.

After spending that weekend at my parents, it was now time to look for a new home… but not before a very long-awaited (and much needed) holiday to Southwold.

I’d just had two pretty miserable years battling poverty, depression, and anxiety, which seemed to be going on forever… but then, suddenly, it was all over.

Finally, I was free.

[topsolarpanels]

Is humour the best weapon against Europe’s new wave of far-right nationalism? | Holly Case and John Palattella

The long read: Armed with mocking billboards, spoof newspapers and viral gags, a gang of pranksters is taunting Hungarys authoritarian leader

Gergely Kovács never wanted to get involved in politics. I prefer to mess around, he told a news magazine in his native Hungary last year, not stand up for something. Since 2000, Kovács has been leader of a group of prankster artists now known as the Two-Tailed Dog party. One of the groups stunts a few years ago involved spray-painting a wall with a graffiti image of someone writing in graffiti the longest Hungarian word (megszentségteleníthetetlenségeskedéseitekért) and running out of room after spelling just 32 of its 44 characters. Not long after, the group built a spaceship station on the banks of the Tisza river advertising daily departures to four destinations: Sirius, the moon, the Ganymede galaxy and Pluto.

But last summer, when the Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbáns rightwing government introduced a series of xenophobic measures to repel the tens of thousands of migrants and refugees passing through Hungary on their way to Germany, Denmark and Sweden, Kovács and the Two-Tailed Dog got serious. It really made us angry that the government uses the peoples money for a campaign that tells them who to hate, Kovács fumed. Here in Hungary we already hate each other enough.

A quarter of a century ago, as an idealistic young politician, Orbán wanted to break down walls and open up possibilities. But lately, he has focused his energies on shutting down alternatives. Since winning the 2010 parliamentary election, his governing party, Fidesz, have carried out a well-orchestrated constitutional coup that has centralised political authority, tamed the judiciary and denied opposition parties control of state institutions. Orbán has even built new walls along Hungarys borders, in order to keep migrants out.

In late April, Fidesz introduced a so-called national consultation on immigration and terrorism. Questionnaires were mailed to millions of Hungarians in May, accompanied by a letter in which the prime minister asserted that migrants crossing into Europe through Hungary claimed to be refugees, but their real aim was to siphon off welfare and jobs from Hungarians. The survey contained 12 leading questions, such as: Do you agree with the Hungarian government that instead of immigrants, it is rather Hungarian families and soon-to-be-born children who need support?

The Two-Tailed Dog parried with a mock questionnaire of its own. I was sitting at home alone and it came to me, Kovács recalled. He posted the survey with a customary, if unintentional, sprinkling of typos on the partys Facebook page on the afternoon of 2 May, and it quickly went viral. Sample question: There are those who blame the freemasons, others who blame the Jews or the space aliens. In your view who is responsible for the fact that the national debt remains high? Possible answers: The Jews, The space aliens, The fucking Jewish space aliens!

The estimated cost of the governments national consultation was 1bn forints (£2.4m), approximately double the amount the government had spent on processing refugees. (Most of the funding for refugees in Hungary came from the European Union.) Two days after Kovács posted his questionnaire, the bombastic president of the European Commission, Luxembourgs Jean-Claude Juncker, greeted Orbán at an EU summit with a raised hand as Dictator! and slapped him playfully on the face.

The Orbán governments next move was to plaster Hungarian cities and towns with hundreds of anti-immigrant billboards. If you come to Hungary, you may not take jobs away from Hungarians, one insisted. Another read, If you come to Hungary, you must respect our culture. Then came the announcement that, in order to deter migrants and refugees, the government would build a fence to seal off the border with Serbia, which is not a member of the EU.

Some of the governments billboards were painted over in protest within hours. Soon, the Two-Tailed Dog and affiliated malcontents launched a two-pronged counterattack. The party lampooned Orbáns plan for a border fence: Of course, we Hungarians loved that Iron Curtain, we miss it very much, people have been expressing their strong demand for building a similar curtain for years now. As opposed to the 175km-long, 4m-wide wall planned by the government, however, why not one 175km tall and 4m wide? The tourists would love it!

At the same time, the Two-Tailed Dog, together with an alternative news blog called Vastagbr (Thick Skin), launched a campaign to raise 3m forints (roughly £7,000) to buy space on 50 billboards for one month. The idea was to blanket the country with slogans satirising the governments xenophobic billboards. We know its a lot of money, read the call for donations, but the Fidesz hate campaign has become so degenerate that we must do something extraordinary to counter it.

<img class="gu-image" itemprop="contentUrl" alt="The" two-tailed dog partys graffiti image of someone spray-painting the longest hungarian word() and running out of space.” src=”http://ift.tt/2nDijho;

One of the groups stunts involved spray-painting a wall with a graffiti image of someone writing the longest Hungarian word.

The campaign struck a chord, raising the 3m forints in seven hours. Two weeks later, the coalition had received more than 33m forints (£76,000) in donations. It was enough for 900 billboards as many as the government had posted with 1.5m forints (around £3,500) to spare. In a press statement, a pro-government NGO suggested that there was no way that a pseudo-NGO with two tails could legitimately take in so much money for its pseudo-solidarity stunts, and implied that the funds were lackey money from foreign sources. Kovács admits there is something to these allegations, given that, of the 7,000 people who sent donations for the campaign, at least a thousand were sent from abroad. However, he points out that these were from Hungarians abroad, which is not that surprising given that half the country now lives in western Europe.

The counter-billboards started to appear in July. If you are Hungarys prime minister, you have to obey our laws, one declared, while another, erected in Orbáns hometown of Felcsút, cited the Hungarian law that forbids hateful agitation against members of any national, ethnic, racial, or religious group. The campaign also played on the fact that it is not just foreigners who go abroad to work, but Hungarians as well. Come to Hungary by all means, one billboard read, were already working in London!

I hate spending other peoples money, Kovács said in August, referring to the unexpected and overwhelming success of the fundraising campaign. I have no trouble spending my own money, but this is different. Along with the slew of donations, the party had been relying on the goodwill of hundreds of volunteers, young and old. We have lots of people who want to do something. And we should figure out how they could help us and Hungary.

The Two-Tailed Dog may not be a real political alternative to Fidesz, but by offering a view of the world that diverges sharply from the governments, it has thrust a defiant paw in the closing door of possibility and dared the powers that be to kick it aside. So far the governments strategy has broadly been to ignore the group. When asked in early September what he thought of the Two-Tailed Dog party, György Schöpflin, Fideszs representative in the EU parliament, hesitated before saying, I never really looked at what they do or what they stand for. I dont think its a serious political party. Hes right. It isnt. And thats precisely the point.

The Two-Tailed Dog, says the Hungarian historian István Rév, is a refreshing group in a rightly depressed country that has lost its sense of humour. A well-placed observer of Hungarian politics who wishes to remain anonymous says that since 2010, protests against Orbán have been either too small or too homogeneous. But a joke party could raise 33m forints for joke billboards. I have mixed emotions. I keep my fingers crossed for them. For us all.

* * *

Late one night in mid-September, Kovács convened a brainstorming session at his sparsely furnished house in a leafy suburb of Budapest to discuss the Two-Tailed Dogs next action. Kovács, who is 35, has an infectiously mischievous smile and dresses like a college student, in faded blue jeans, loose-fitting T-shirts, and scruffy white sneakers. He sat at a table on the terrace, which looked out onto the starlit city, and opened a beer. With him were three others: Ferenc Seb, a creator of anarchist theatricals, and two longstanding associates from the partys early days, Tibor Árki, a graphic designer, and Zsolt Viktora, an art dealer.

They were gathered around a copy of the Magyar Hírlap, or the Hungarian Gazette, a populist broadsheet owned by a conservative oligarch. The paper is one of two dailies close to the government: government offices subscribe to the paper, and it receives outsized advertising revenue from the state. Not surprisingly, the Magyar Hírlap faithfully backed Orbáns vilification of refugees and migrants. Since last summer, it has offered a daily dose of siege mentality with headlines such as The migrants have become more aggressive, All of Europe is threatened with an explosion, and The immigrants have initiated a coup against our homelands legal order. If you read the Magyar Hírlap, explained Árki from beneath a Rasta-style knit cap pulled down over his ears, youll see that good humour is gone, and what we have now is terror-media.

Kovács and Seb studied the broadsheet as Árki spoke and gazed into the night. Seb jabbed at several pages with a pen, dissecting articles and bursting into belly laughs. Kovács sat with his legs crossed and listened intently, occasionally flashing a grin. After a while Seb began taking photos of the front page with his phone and darted inside; a few minutes later he returned clutching a handful of printouts that he arranged on the table. He and Kovács began writing alternative headlines and illustrations on them. Árki peered from beneath his cap and floated wry advice from across the table. A plan was taking shape: to publish and distribute a fake edition of the Magyar Hírlap, one that would swap its vitriol for hilarity, and bad news for good.

The group built a spaceship station on the banks of the Tisza river advertising daily departures to Sirius, the moon, the Ganymede galaxy and Pluto.

In its tone and message, the Two-Tailed Dog trots along the path of great central European satirists such as the Czech writer Jaroslav Haek, author of the comic novel The Good Soldier vejk (1923). In 1911, Haek founded the PFGFIDSDG, The Party of Incremental Progress within the Limits of the Law, which promised to reintroduce slavery and the Inquisition. Will the Two-Tailed Dog prove to be more transformative than its absurdist predecessors? They clearly want to be, but a lot depends on whether levity can fuel meaningful action.

Kovács and his colleagues will have to overcome the sharp antagonisms between Hungarians that they see as Orbáns handiwork. Fidesz tries to gain popularity from low social solidarity, Kovács says. The governments anti-immigrant billboards were all in Hungarian, making it extremely unlikely that any migrant or asylum seeker could understand them, and suggesting that Orbán is more concerned with attacking his political opponents within Hungary than blocking a perceived threat from the outside. The problem of internal division cuts very close to home for the groups members. Kovácss father is a Fidesz supporter, so discussion of politics is off-limits at family gatherings. On Facebook, leaders of the Two-Tailed Dog have seen many acquaintances fall victim to the intensifying factionalisation. Seb says that during the peak of the governments national consultation and the migrant crisis last summer, Everyones bundle of friends was reduced by half.

The Two-Tailed Dog wants to offer an alternative to perpetual antagonism. For Seb, the group is a gate through which anyone can enter. Suzi Dada, a longstanding member of the group, agrees, saying that the partys message should be one of neither hatred nor despair, towards which people are all too inclined here. Instead we should know how to laugh at something together. Then a solution becomes possible.

As the conversation about the Magyar Hírlap wound down, Kovács returned to the kitchen for another round of beers. Viktora walked to the garden, where dinner was cooking on a grill. He set down paper plates stacked high with meat on a table covered in plates of sliced tomatoes and onions, bread, and ashtrays overflowing with the butt-ends of hand-rolled cigarettes and spent ash from a marijuana bowl. Two dogs, one tail each, scrambled between the legs of the table and the party members.

As they ate, the group discussed tactics. They calculated that the owners of the Magyar Hírlap would waste no time in suing them, so they planned to set aside most of the remaining funds from the counter-billboard campaign for a lawsuit, leaving the rest for printing costs. With the finances settled, they began hashing out the papers editorial vision: Orbán had used attacks on migrants and refugees to orchestrate a clash with the European Union and Hungarians who rejected his illiberal politics. The Two-Tailed Dogs edition of the Magyar Hírlap should not only make a mockery of its politics, Árki insisted, but also imagine a better world. Wouldnt it be great if things were this way. Why arent they?

* * *

In another district not far from Kovácss house is a student dormitory shaded by trees. Unlike at the headquarters of the Two-Tailed Dog, the bell on the gate works. The rooms and public areas are airy and bright. In one of them, a young Viktor Orbán, together with a roommate and a few other friends, founded a political party in 1988. They called themselves Fidesz the Young Democrats and they, too, were trying to imagine a better world. Back then Fidesz was broadly liberal, a fuzzy term in a country where the political spectrum was basically confined to a single socialist party. To be liberal in Hungary meant being against communism and in favour of democratic pluralism and the rule of law.

Though no one knew it at the time, the end of socialist Hungary was near. János Kádár, the leader of Hungary and its Communist party since 1956, was growing old, and the reputation of the man whose legacy Kádár had long sought to bury Imre Nagy, the leader of the countrys short-lived 1956 revolution was rising up again. On 16 June 1989, the 31st anniversary of Nagys execution by the Soviet Union, over 100,000 people attended the ceremonial reburial of his remains in Budapest. After some debate, a conciliatory socialist party seeking to distance itself from Kádár granted Fidesz a role in the ceremony.

Orbán, barely 26 at the time, was given the microphone. With his perpetual three-day beard, near-mullet, ramrod posture, and aura of seriousness, he cut a striking figure. He also came across as a natural leader. If we believe in our own strength, then we are capable of bringing an end to the communist dictatorship, he told the crowd, who were astonished to hear such blunt oppositional language uttered in public. Three weeks later, the foreign ministers of Austria and Hungary oversaw the dismantling of a section of the razor wire fence between the two states.

The bombastic president of the European Commission, Jean-Claude Juncker, greeted Viktor Orbán with a raised hand as Dictator!. Photograph: Virginia Mayo/AP

In the free elections of 1990, Fidesz won 9% of the vote and Orbán became an MP. Within a few years he was pulling the party harder to the centre-right, driving many early enthusiasts from its ranks. In March 1994, he told a Hungarian magazine, Id rather use free-thinking in place of the word liberal, because in the countryside they dont have a clue what Im talking about if I say liberal. After Fidesz lost ground to the socialists in that years parliamentary elections, Orbán was able to make the case that the party should lean still harder the right. He thus became the sole face of Fidesz as the last of the partys left-leaning membership quit its ranks.

The young leader bid them good riddance. In 1998, Orbáns anger and resentment towards an out-of-touch political and social elite won Hungarians over at the polls. Fidesz formed a coalition with two small parties, and Orbán became prime minister. For the duration of his four-year term he used his position to strengthen the office of the prime minister and centralise the state apparatus. (He also promised that his government would replace the separation of church and state with an emphasis on the cooperation of church and state.)

But it was not until his second spell in office, in 2010, that Orbán managed to initiate the total transformation he had presaged more than two decades earlier. The 2008 financial crisis hit many Hungarians hard, leaving many struggling and disillusioned. Within a few years, thousands of young Hungarians were leaving the country to seek work and opportunities elsewhere. Meanwhile, the governing socialist partys legitimacy sunk to an all-time low following a leaked recording of prime minister Ferenc Gyurcsány recounting how the party had lied repeatedly about the countrys fiscal status and potential. His goal as prime minister, Gyurcsány continued, had been to give the left back its dignity, so that it wouldnt have to shit its pants at the sight of Viktor Orbán and the right wing. After the leak the socialist party all but collapsed.

Running without any meaningful opposition from the left, Fidesz won an absolute majority in the 2010 elections and proceeded to rewrite the Hungarian constitution. The new document consolidated Orbáns hold over the state, from the highest to the very lowest levels of its administration and courts. And many stood behind him. One of Orbáns first acts as prime minister was to pass a law offering relief to Hungarians with bad mortgages held in Swiss francs; another was to stack the judiciary with Fidesz supporters and effectively block opposition to his partys policies. His alteration of a labour law enabled the government to purge opposition supporters from the state sector. But he wasnt finished. Orbán declared that Hungary would join China, India, Turkey and Russia in the race to invent a state that is most capable of making a nation successful. If European unification had made liberal democracy the expected norm, Hungary would enter a new realm of possibility by pioneering illiberal democracy as its creed and closing the door on alternatives.

* * *

As Orbán was serving his first term as prime minister, a small beast with two tails was born in a provincial university town in southern Hungary called Szeged. Around the turn of the millennium Szeged was a hub for students with edgy talents and aspirations in extreme sports, graffiti, street art, skateboarding who were looking for creative outlets. Among them was a young student who called herself Suzi Dada. It was at university in Szeged, she says, that she first met others who thought like her. My family situation was something of a mess, so I couldnt count on the support of my parents and had a lot of independence and responsibility, she said.

Dada met Kovács by chance shortly after arriving in Szeged in 2001, when both were looking for flatmates. Their shared apartment became a gathering place for students planning street art interventions and other stunts. Ideas came from all different directions, and we had such fun, Dada recalled. Meanwhile she studied history, and Kovács started degree programmes in a variety of disciplines (mainly sociology and computer programming), never to complete any of them. There were brushes with the authorities, such as when the group created a series of mock ads for the Hungarian railways (Our trains are deliberately delayed and We go out of our way not to clean the trains) that failed to amuse their target. On another occasion, the police caught Kovács spray-painting For Sale on a public rubbish bin. The officers agreed not to report him so long as he allowed them to spray-paint For Sale on his stomach. It seemed like a good deal to me, Kovács said.

During the fateful 2010 elections, the Two-Tailed Dog logo appeared on a series of unconventional campaign posters. Photograph: Twitter

Like all scrappy mongrels, the Two-Tailed Dog has no verifiable birthdate and no precisely defined identity. One day an economics student in Kovács and Dadas circle of friends drew a dog with two tails and that became the groups logo. The oldest members who are still active in the group are Dada, Árki, Viktora and Kovács. All have faded in and out of active participation over the years, but Kovács has always been the undisputed leader. Kovács will happily sound out the other members, but he has the last word on what goes public with the partys logo. Theres no democracy, Dada laughed when asked about the groups inner workings. Without him there would be no Two-Tailed Dog.

Initially, the true identity of the Two-Tailed Dog was shrouded in mystery. After a while everyone started to ask around the university, Who is the guy? recalled Csaba Tibor Tóth, a former student. When an undergraduate group at the university invited Kovács to speak in 2009, he agreed, but never showed up. Meanwhile, the city watched as words and images of distress and anomie began to adorn Szegeds pavements, drainpipes, billboards, walls, house fronts and trees, courtesy of the Two-Tailed Dog: graffiti factories belching smoke; tear-off ads saying Ill be over at your place in a bit to hit you up for a cigarette; a graffiti animal with a jackhammer chipping away at a buildings scarred façade; a sign for a lost dog in which the dog is seen from a great distance and identifiable only as a small black dot.

The group called itself a party long before it successfully registered as one. In 2006 it ran a slate of candidates, all two-tailed dogs wearing neckties and all bearing the name István Nagy (the Hungarian version of John Smith). The party programme promised eternal life, free beer, lower taxes and the construction of a mountain in pancake-flat Szeged. During the fateful 2010 elections, in which Orbán finally won his supermajority, the Two-Tailed Dog logo appeared with a necktie on a series of unconventional campaign posters: Well introduce the Euro in 2005! More everything, less nothing! Are you tired of people? Give another species a chance. Vote for the Two-Tailed Dog. In Budapest, the party promised to introduce new express metro lines that dont stop anywhere.

Although the Two-Tailed Dog ridiculed Orbáns government, the two parties converge on some issues. Like Orbán, the Two-Tailed Dog is critical of multinational corporations Orbán because they arent Hungarian, the Two-Tailed Dog because they serve a culture of consumption. Like Orbán, the Two-Tailed Dog has drawn attention to the souring of the atmosphere of possibility that existed in the years just after the collapse of state socialism, and has disparaged Hungarys inferiority complex towards western Europe and the creep of market ideology into every endeavour. An early billboard by the Two-Tailed Dog showed the prows of three sculls marked Oxford, Cambridge and, trailing noticeably behind, Hungarian Universities. How can we catch up in higher education? asked the billboard. Answer: Oooh, lets charge [higher] tuition!

The punchlines air of cynical desperation was very much of its time. In the early 2000s, young Hungarians saw their prospects at home vanishing, and many including Kovács and Dada extended their university studies for up to a decade, while others sought opportunities elsewhere in Europe, a trend that has continued unabated. Now around 5% of Hungarian citizens live and work abroad. György Schöpflin, who has spent most of his life and career in Britain, recently described a good Hungarian as someone who stays in the country and works. (The government has turned this admonition into policy. Sebs girlfriend is a second-year student at university, and in order to receive tuition relief for her studies, she was recently required to sign a contract stipulating that she may not leave Hungary for a set number of years after she graduates.)

If a good Hungarian is someone who stays at home and works, then the leadership of the Two-Tailed Dog party is comprised of excellent Hungarians. Though most of them have left Szeged for Budapest, all of the core party members plus Seb, who is not a party member as he doesnt join parties on principle, but is very active in the groups activities live and work in Hungary, even as many of their friends and siblings have moved to Austria, Germany and the UK. I stayed because of my friends, says Kovács. I have 10 or 15 really good friends and thats what Id miss if I went abroad. I dont necessarily like just anyone.

* * *

Although the Two-Tailed Dog started life far from mainstream Hungarian politics, with the counter-billboard campaign the party became much more politically active. In July, after an initial rejection from a municipal court on the grounds that it was frivolous, the Two-Tailed Dog party was finally cleared for registration as an official Hungarian political party. We joke around much more seriously now, said Dada. Kovács concedes that the time has come to get serious, but not to become serious: I am convinced that we are much more effective as pranksters.

After the success of the counter-billboard campaign, the Two-Tailed Dog contemplated organising a fence-tival on either side of Orbáns new border fence with Serbia. There would be a DJ, and volleyball matches using the fence as a net. An opposition party was on board, but Kovács grew skittish when the government created a 60m no-mans-land on either side of the fence: If the volleyball falls in that zone, well never be able to get it out. More important, having a party while thousands of migrants and refugees were scrambling for their lives across the border didnt seem right: I dont want to joke about that, said Kovács. Its dreadful. The plan was cancelled. (The fence was completed in September, and a second fence on the Croatian border was finished in October.)

One evening in late October, the Two-Tailed Dog held a meeting in Budapest to enlist volunteer activists to help it organise a new secret action. The meeting took place on the third floor of a building on the Blaha Lujza square, historically a rough area of the city. The building was one of Budapests first department stores. Today its first and second floors are filled with dingy shops stocking poor-quality clothing and household goods. The third floor is one of the last free spaces in Hungary, according to Seb. It is home to a bar and some open areas with tables and chairs.

About 50 people had gathered for the 7pm meeting. When Kovács arrived, about 10 minutes late, he announced that the proceedings would begin at 7.30pm since no real follower of the Two-Tailed Dog would show up before then. He then took up a seat off to one side. Seb, Árki, Dada (with her hair done up in two tails) and other members of the party were in attendance, but scattered among the crowd. After a back-and-forth over whether people should introduce themselves, introductions began, but in a characteristically satirical vein: Im Lajos, and I came because I have time. Im Géza, and Im here because I dont have time.

Kovács explained that the secret action was the distribution of the spoof edition of the Magyar Hírlap, 10,000 copies of which were sitting in his house. Several months earlier, Orbán had insisted that Hungary should be a country where not anything can happen. Blending comedy and idealism, the spoof edition went in the opposite direction. The front-page headlines set the tone for the entire issue. One announced that the planned construction of a controversial nuclear plant had been halted and that solar energy will be the new priority; the accompanying article cited Orbán as saying, Our childrens future is the most important thing.

The paper divulged the winning lottery numbers for the following week, gave a weather forecast based on readers suggestions, and reported that the banks of the Danube would be converted back into a pedestrian zone and car traffic rerouted underground. A dispatch on the refugee crisis reported that Orbán had spent the night in a camp on the Croatian border along with his wife and three children. Quoting the prime minister: It was an eye-opening night, and I was forced to acknowledge that these people are in no way different from us, except that they were forced to flee a country that had been torn apart by religious conflict and senseless terror.

In regional coverage, readers learned that Turkey had agreed to pay reparations for its 150-year occupation of Hungary during the Ottoman era, that the European Union was financing the construction of a black hole in Orbáns hometown of Felcsút, and that more than four people had repatriated their jobs from western Europe as part of the successful Bring home your jobs! campaign. On the world stage, anonymous donors had paid off Greeces national debt and Mark Zuckerberg purchased Hungarian citizenship. A luxury watch ad on page 5 showed a horse wearing a gold watch on each leg: Gold watches. For horses. From Belgium.

On 30 October, the paper was distributed in Budapest, Szeged, and a few other cities where party activists live. Dada and Seb were up at an uncharacteristically early hour. It was supposed to be at 7am, but I was a little late, said Seb, so it was more like 8am, but I was there. The papers were handed out on the street and outside subway stops. One person approached Dada and said, This is great! If only it were true Another man took a copy, went away and returned with a sparkle in his eyes. He nearly threw himself around my neck for joy, Dada said.

The Two-Tailed Dogs edition of the Magyar Hírlap should not only make a mockery of its politics, Árki insisted, but also imagine a better world.

Gábor Széles, the owner of the genuine Magyar Hírlap, was less amused. Within hours of the appearance of the spoof edition the publisher of the paper vowed to take legal action against the Two-Tailed Dog. The publishers statement read: It is the view of the Magyar Hírlap Publishers Inc that this behaviour is illegal, and damaging not only to the publisher and the editorial staff, but also to the trusting readers. The statement then raised the spectre, quite common in Hungarian politics, of foreign financial support, suggesting that there was no way a tiny, recently founded party with no real public support could have the resources required to produce a paper of 10,000 copies. (When asked about the legal action, the publisher claimed it was the editor-in-chiefs responsibility, and the editor, Péter Petán, through his secretary passed us to the domestic news desk, which passed us back to the editor-in-chief, who would not speak to us. Our request to speak to Széles was denied.)

So far Kovács has not been contacted in connection with any legal action. Dada had her doubts about the publishers threat. She explained that in the past a car manufacturer had considered pressing charges against the party for satirising one of its adverts, but in the end thought better of it because the companys prestige would be harmed if it attacked a tiny group of pranksters. Its like kicking a small, cute dog, said Seb. But the dog is bracing for a fight, if it comes to that. We have good lawyers, said Kovács.

Two days after the spoof of the Magyar Hírlap was circulated, a post on the Two-Tailed Dogs Government Organisation Facebook page suggested the party had returned to politics as usual: Finally were doing nothing again and can post senseless sillinesser [sic!] at night drunkenly. Hungarian politics, too, continued as normal. In the wake of the 13 November terror attacks in Paris, the Magyar Hírlap took to gloating, and praised Orbáns efforts to keep refugees out of Hungary. A mandatory quota would merely spread terrorism, screamed the front-page headline, quoting a remark the prime minister made on 17 November.

At a time when Hungarian anxieties about migration and Islam remain high, and other EU politicians have come around to Orbáns views on migrants, the Two-Tailed Dogs members are trying to survive without losing their levity, or their nerve. Theyre planning to put out their own monthly newspaper soon. Well have to start building up our regional bases in the larger cities if we want to win in 2018, Kovács joked, referring to the next Hungarian parliamentary elections.

As for Seb, following the successful execution of the secret action, he was staying up late, getting high and agonising over a musical he was working on with another playwright. Although the piece was not yet fully written, the rehearsals had already begun. One shouldnt work like this, he said, leafing through the pages of dialogue. The play is about a man named Ignác, AKA Uncle Nácy (pronounced Nazi) who builds a submarine in order to plant a Hungarian flag on the north pole. Ignác has a little dog named Dolfi who is supposed to plant the flag.

Nácy the musical is scheduled to open on 8 January in Budapest. When we last spoke with Seb, he and his co-author had not yet decided how the piece should end. The details of the dogs fate have yet to be determined, Seb confided nervously. They had a couple of ideas. One was that Dolfi is roasted and eaten by the crew, all of whom grow increasingly hungry as the journey becomes ever more desperate and conflict-ridden. Another ending is that the dog takes control of the ship. Its so hard to know what will happen, said Seb. Right now anything is possible.

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