#i have my old LoverFest one for Lover era

[longlivetv]

I said I wasn’t going to do costumes this tour but thanks to the eras theme I’ve already planned three and I’m not sure I’m even going to three shows alsjalakfjalasksk

[allylikethecat]

Omg, also a TS fan since debut and I massively took a step back from her personally prior to the reputation era because of her antics and victim complex. The music will always mean so so much to me, her lyrics mean so much to me, but her actions as a person and TS™️ as an entity is just weird and greedy. I think she accrued a lot of fans when she disappeared for a while who've completely constructed a narrative in their heads of who she is and they believe it and are eating up this current era, but those who've been here a long time know how PR and image driven it is. Exhausting.

I apologize in advance I have been having way too many feelings about this whole situation and how it relates to my identity as a 28 year old woman and you are about to get an oversharing novel in response lol

Also, I guess CW: this post is about Taylor Swift and if anyone sends me any kind of hate or whatnot related to my own personal opinions and feelings I will be deleting it because I am NOT playing that game.

My Aunt bought me the Debut album CD at a concert after seeing her open for Rascal Flatts. She was like "I thought that you would like her!" and she was RIGHT Taylor Swift became my entire personality. One of my FAVORITE core memories as a child was the day Fearless came out. For some reason we didn't have school, and my Mom and I watched Taylor on the Ellen show, and then we went to Target and bought the physical CD, we then drove around town so we could listen to it together. My mom hasn't been well and that is one of my favorite memories of us together. It's silly but when you're in middle school that kind of thing is important to you. Then in high school I actually got MADE FUN OF for wearing Taylor merch and being excited about Red. BUT I loved her music and felt like she actually stood for something, so I brushed it off and continued to be a HUGE Swiftie. I had the Taylor Swift dolls, I had the perfumes, I had the LOVE LOVE LOVE bracelet, I had the sundresses from WALMART. I saw her on the Fearless and 1989 tours, I had the fucking 1989 haircut. I was supposed to go to Loverfest.

I was still a HUGE Swiftie during the post 1989-pre Reputation eras, then the Reputation era. I'm a few years younger than her, but I felt like I could relate to the kind of manic panic that she was sharing with us (lol turns out I was just unmedicated and we're doing much better now). It felt (in my probably naive mind) like she was experiencing the same insecurities that I was and reacting accordingly. Was she playing the victim at times? Oh 100% BUT I also fully believe that she thought she was one. (Plus... Kim is my least favorite Kardashian lol)

I LOVED the Lover era even as it was shit on at the for the sunshine rainbow hyper colorful aesthetic. Like, I don't know if new fans realize but when Lover was released? It was NOT as beloved as it is now. Then Folklore and Evermore were absolute genius, it felt like Taylor had grown up, and she got all of these new fans, which was great! She was in an "adult" relationship and her music and publicity choices seemed to reflect that. It was so refreshing to see a celebrity keeping their personal life, personal, and sharing what they wanted to share through music. Midnights broke all kinds of records, again, amazing! Even if it wasn't as strong as say Folklore. I fought for my life and got Eras Tour tickets (opening weekend!!) I had the BEST TIME EVER.

Taylor has always been extremely calculated with her public image. She was over exposed during The 1989 era and the public turned on her, so I truly cannot figure out why she is doing it again 100x in this new era of whatever the fuck this is. I don't know her, maybe she is legitimately happy, or maybe this is a cry for help. But I have been so grossed out by her behavior lately, and how in your face everything is with Kelce. It's no secret that I hate Kelce (and people that know me IRL know that it's not a new Taylor related thing lol) and if she actually loves him, fine, that's great for her, BUT we don't need to see it! Yes she was public when she was dating Calvin but ALSO she was what 25-26? She's a 34 year old woman now with the biggest platform of any celebrity ever. She feels too old (and this is not me age shaming her because I would be grossed out if my friends were doing it, and I would be embarrassed if *I* were to ever do it) to be licking a man's face in public like this. This feels like sorority girl in her first college relationship (I was *in* a sorority for a hot second so this isn't hate on sorority girls either!) and not record breaking Grammy award winning artist. ALSO I feel like she used to come across as so articulate and well spoken? Controversial opinion but I thought she sounded like a fucking idiot in that Time Person of the Year piece.

I think that this whole thing is PR for something, but because it just feels too icky to be real, but I don't know what it's PR for, (trying to bury the Matty situation from May? Because if so that just makes me even more sad for him or trying to get back at Joe? Which if that's the case, I feel bad for him too and she's even more immature than I thought) and now, for the first time, AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS I'm embarrassed to be a fan of her, both because of her own actions and also the actions of her fanbase as a whole.

It feels really weird, and I know I'm being parasocial about it, but when the times got bad I always had her music to fall back on and now I just, I don't know it feels cheapened somehow because the current image that's being crafted doesn't match the one that we originally fell for. And you know what, people change, she's a celebrity, I don't know her, what she does DOES NOT affect me any way, and how I feel does not AFFECT HER in the slightest, and I know it's being parasocial but I feel like a big part of me is in mourning about it. Less because of her changing her image so drastically, and more so because I feel like I'm mourning the loss of childhood and joy that used to be associated with her music for me and I think that's what's making me the most sad.

I have Eras tour tickets for one of the London dates this summer. I'm probably going to still go, because I paid for them, and I also have tickets to see Noah Kahan that same week in London (... and also the Longines tour has ALSO decided that the London stop is that week...) But I don't consider myself a "big fan" anymore. Maybe I will be one day again, but this current image that she's putting out just isn't it for me.

Sorry for the longest Taylor related novel in existence, I have had a lot of bottled up feelings about this that feel ridiculous typing out and sharing out loud BUT I know I will feel better sending them into the interwebs and your ask was the perfect catalyst.

Thank you so much for sending this in and for your continued support! I hope you continue to enjoy my fics and my secret sports hot takes 😂

❤️Ally

[9w1ft]

i am writing this fully aware that things can boomerang at the drop of a hat but i haven’t blown a gasket in awhile so allow me this one gratis ☺️

over the past -*looks at watch*- counting on two years, i feel like i’ve aged twenty. and the aging process has truly come from all sides. all facets. i feel like i’ve seen it all! but the simplicity of today set me on fire lol.

and this is coming off of 2019 of all years!

2019: the year that brought forth accounts and shells that corralled newbie gaylors on discord and showered them with saccharine nicknames and had them push debunkable “intel” , and accounts with galaxybrained-only-in-aesthetics assertions that taylor and karlie are just both fucked in the head, clingy and jealous, showing up to one another’s tropical vacations with entourages of hot chicks like this is all some sort of twisted disney channel original movie, and suddenly i’ve got multiple kids in my inbox sending me pictures of flight patterns (yikes) with the wrong filters on them insisting they’re proof that taylor is having some affair with a fan of hers because taylor can never support a young lady musician without a slice of this internet assuming it’s proof she’s horny and lonely, a year where it was *insisted* in between gingham jackets that a performance now two years old was the start of tides imminently turning, a year where people refused to stay in their lanes, reblogged and added and repurposed so many things in *my* lane to their liking, called upon magical realism, likened taylor to a literally reincarnation of nikola tesla, pushed reinterpretations of core symbols that even i - the @9w1ft - the delusional one - would call reaches, a year that people somehow got the notion, thanks to scorched earth tactics, that taylor would dedicate a whole album to her lover only as a hail mary to get her back, that every time she sang the titular song it was surely sung sadly, some last gasp of air, some cry out for help, as opposed to her gunning for a grammy, a year when anything sad taylor expressed in the back half and first months of 2020 was surely a reflection of her heartbreak, that loverfest being canceled was her giving up on her lover, ****when scooter f*ing braun purchasing her masters and the novel coronavirus pandemic are **right there** staring you right in the eye****, but should be overlooked because surely taylor and karlie were a thing but broke up in… 2017. mid 2018. late 2018. early 2019. mid 2019. early 2020. just the other day. enough! enough 😂😂😂

no, somehow, against all odds, this all managed to pale in comparison to this past year. ohhhh nilly, this past years’ time really has taken the damn cake. because for all the distressing behavior that lover era brought, nothing can compare to the true hurt and distraught i felt this year with, upon given the opportunity to practice kindness and grace, temperance and patience, especially towards one another - because it’s literally all we can control - i found myself waking up in the middle of the night queasy as all hell and unable to discern if it was because of my pregnancy or because of the truly gross things people were saying. tired games of gotcha, @‘s in callout posts that people would screenshot and send to me worried, people coming into my inbox and my friends inboxes with copypasted obtuse threats all when i was basically checked out and trying to keep the zen until the pregnancy stuck (which these people surely knew about because they follow me closely enough to know where they could send me threats, but i digress, weird how they didn’t practice what they preach, sorry i was saying but i digress), and then for the pinnacle of that to be the… commodification of taylor’s queerness? the casualness of it all, the paywall of it all! so many people changing usernames and timelines it was tough for even me —resident kaylor that’s on this hell site 24/7– to keep track of. and the stuff i saw others getting sent! it’s been ridiculous! some of you anons best wash your mouths with a bar of soap… not once! two times! ya hear me!

but i’m not done! because the thing that broke my heart more than anything that broke my heart was seeing all y’all turn on karlie and positively revel in the hate. just steep in it. especially while she was pregnant (and quite frankly now that she’s a new mom too but whatever). don’t send me your justifications, i’ve read them all. the horse is high. she brought this upon herself. uhuh, sure, but my beef is not about karlie. it’s about here. it’s about us! look at this place! one cannot justify holding this much contempt, at a level where it consumes ones life and the lives of those surrounding it. i don’t know why i’m even writing this because i know the pushback and talking points as if they were seared on the back of my eyelids. but when did making a lark of the misery become toxic positivity? why’s the high crime of being hopeful deserve a subtweet? i get that everyone’s sense of wonder is tired and everyone has their opinions of which i am not under the impression i could ever change. but for the love of god please, find the joy somewhere or find other things that bring the joy because sometimes i come on here and by god, this is no way to live!

but today i just, i dunno, i see these faces from times past in my feed coming to coyly collect on the chuckles and while i’m glad they’ve found a balance that’s worked for them, i guess i just… wished more of them had been sticking around to water the flowerbeds because it’s become a goddamned dried arrangements boutique around here with a fault line in the floor splitting clear through the earth. there’s no middle ground. we used to have a garden variety! and you all know i’m not just turning it up to 11 on the daily for my own sake, right? i’m throwing boxes of baking soda at these negative PH hydrangeas but day in day out these blooms are coming up bright red. and today it feels like people came to pick them and peace out as if nothings happened here in the past two years

😮‍💨 okay. i’ve said my piece. … but one more thing.

and all the while the latest album is titled, of all things, evermore. a word meaning? what’s that? forever. forever! come on!! not to get all steve on ya but sit down in your thinking chair. i was gonna make a list of the most eye catching things just to go over them but today i don’t feel like doing the work.

things i know:

karlie had a baby

karlie is a mom

i like babies, and motherhood, and karlie, and i support karlie and her journey.

taylor and karlie are clearly still hamming it up

ipso facto, while i know nothing, i remain unbothered.

i also know that i love the people i’ve met along the way. and i always will, and as november comes close i miss that feeling of going to rep tour. what a time it was. what a feeling. and i know one day we’ll get it back. but this year, damn, this year ain’t it.

[death-by-a-thousand-swifts]

Message to @taylornation @taylorswift

HI mY name is Ali Madhi and I am a Huge Diehard Taylor Swift Fan And I love The album Lover So much i cant even explain it  I cant believe Lover was Released over 1 Year ago It was so inspiring and reminded me of 1989 my favorite music Era ever.!989 helped me get through so much when i was an insecure 11 year old who would be bullied constantly.But i remember It was Style and to me its one of her best songs ever written but in my school liking Taylor Swift would mean u were either gay or U were weird which is sad but I tried to stop liking what i love and reshape myself.I did.then I hear Style all the time i try to Not Like it But i cant Not sing “You got that day dream James dean look in your eyes” And Then This process would happen a lot. But then Blank Space and Shake it off were released and I Felt so happy cuz these songs were my Favorite for That year and This helped me so Much And I cant ever repay you Taylor for Making such a beautiful song .Shake it off made everything feel awesome and I shake off all of those insults i got 1989 is what i think of when i think of my life in the year 2014-15.I still do to this day. And No artist has made so many songs i can relate to as much as Taylor has I remember Writing A love note to a girl i Liked who was Also Named Taylor and It had Taylors Lyrics in it.It was amazing But sadly rejection.I also kept going though listening to ready for it And delicate which is . my entire life when it comes to relationships. Then The first single of Lover ME! Came Out i was crying It was such an amazing Song and i loved it,It is one of my favorite songs ever it was what i needed whenever someone would bully me and Also it made me feel happy with my Body my looks which i’m not confident about.But seeing that Taylor is happy with her body now made me embrace what people hate or tease me about.Then lover Came around lets just Say That Lover was so Incredibly written it makes me Want to have a lover and i Feel upset that I don’t have one.I am Still looking for my lover And it inspires me.So for that thank you>Sorry this is So long but Taylor Means so much to me and I just wanted to say if i ever got to meet her at like a secret session that would be The greatest day ever and i would tell her all of this SO she knows how much i love her. I live in Virginia but i am going to Sneak out to Boston and hopefully see Loverfest It was my dream And i hope if Taylor nation sees this or if Taylor saw this that she was happy to hear my reaction. Thank you @taylorswift is much for your impact on my life i love u so much.I hope i can someday meet you 

Sincerely Ali To Taylor(if you ever see this)To Taylor Nation

[deana-perfectlygooodheart]

My twin sister sent me this. I don’t remember it, it was October 2016 and seeing this just made me feel so grateful to be here. I have hard days but I look at this and remember how hard this day was and I’m just so grateful.

If @taylorswift ever sees my page, or any post of mine, I just want her to know how she helped me through this. I was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor and 1 month later I was having a craniotomy. I came out of this deaf in one ear (SSD) and adjusting to losing your hearing on one side when you’re 46 years old is a MAJOR life change. My balance nerve was also cut so adjusting to that was, well, not easy. I was so depressed. I didn’t want to watch TV, I wouldn’t talk on the phone, and I didn’t want to hear music. I didn’t want to walk. Taylor put out Reputation and that is what LITERALLY made me start listening again. I had to hear her story (cause every album is a story) so I put my one headphone on (I don’t even have a hole in my other ear) and listened for days (I haven’t stopped)! I have since been to 3 rep shows, Wango Tango, and We Will Survive benefit concert. It takes a lot out of me, I suffer for several days after but, it’s what I look forward to and I’m not going to let this stop me from seeing my favorite person perform. Update: we are now in the Lover era and this is one of the BEST Love stories Of all times! I can’t wait for LoverFest West!! @taylorswift

Thank you for helping me “Listen” again. I love you! 💕