#i have so much SHAME about posting fic where i feel like the meta isnt. like. sound
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i love giving koschei a stupid made up timeywimey mental illness it’s selfindulgent and dumb and doesnt necessarily make for good fics but look at my blorbo having symtomps i love her so much
#i have so much SHAME about posting fic where i feel like the meta isnt. like. sound#where it's just scenes that make me feel something and not necessarily make a point about the characters#which is so DUMB bc the first year of writing fic i wasnt even aware there was any meta in them#only in retrospect i realised i had analysed characters and drawn conclusions and then used those conclusions to say new stuff in my fic#but i also kinda get it bc ive read posts about how fic in fandom is more about doing meta than it is about creative writing#bc you need to analyse and deconstruct the source to be able to do something new with it#you cant transform without observing#so fic that doesnt do that sorta fails at its purpose then right? so what right does it have to exist#thats what i think about my own fic then#but it's not like there is none of that in them. like you have to have analysed Something to have written Anything at all#it's just i think my meta has got more complex and it's lots of stuff that im not sure about where im still trying to figure out what ithink#so that shows up as stories that explore but dont really have anything to say perhaps#no conclusions#but then im like what does this OFFER#and of course it offers some things. it offers whatever feelings i wrote it to have#which is not unimportant#but still. shame#'whats the point in things that are just to make you feel good' well to make you feel good obvs. but am i allowed to POST it then#is it up to the STANDARDS. am i CONTRIBUTING or just making noise#i dont want to just make noise#i kinda want to say something#also like. if it's not good meta then am i still writing the character? am i still being true to them? am i doing them and the story justice#ugh anyway
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