#i have to poop and i also want a snack and a coffee perhaps???

[media-offline]

4 Dates and 6 Work Days

Four bad dates and a work week passed. Not terrible bad, yet not a single one worth cooing over either.

Consider is a wash.

DATE 1: Sunday coffee with Mr El Salvador

It's my first day with permission to be in the world since catching covid, and naturally, the first thing I have scheduled is a coffee date/meet-up. It's convenient because I have to pick up dog poop bags on the way home for Bean.

Pouring rain with limited parking at a weird non-place in Cully. I pull up in my car and immediately sigh, seeing the hooded young man, clearly waiting for his tinder date, with god knows what idea of what he thinks I will be. I come from a cross road that was unpaved and riddled with puddles. A 5'8" latino man stands across the street, wearing a thin pull-over blue grey sweater, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to him like a gap sweater you pull out of the closet and wear years past its prime.

Big teeth, a nice voice, glasses, and the way-too-thin-hood pulled up over his head. He barrel-chested hugged me, in a way that felt too tight for a first meeting, or perhaps the covid isolation had me unrehearsed. The coffee was too sweet and he was uninteresting. I left after an hour, and he ordered an Uber back to his apartment he shares with someone in Vancouver. Not quite a turn on.

DATE 2: Taco Tuesday with Korean Gym Rat

The first pick for date night, who had texted for a week, decided that now he's not interested in me before meeting me. So he was deleted, and contender number 2 stepped up. A 6 foot Korean man who was built from the gym and came with kit military sleeve tattoos. Heavily accented, I had not expected him to be born and raise in Korea, as I had assumed he was Korean American. Despite his accent, he was never lost in the conversation, and his humor was endearingly goofy.

He seemed uninteresting outside of working long days at work for a train company and spending likely too much time working out. He lost me as soon as he asked "why are you single?" I hate that question. It implies a variety of unfavorable ideas. That perhaps I'm hiding something nefarious with my looks, or that a woman like myself should be partnered, and by not being so, I have caused disruption. I'm single because no one is good enough yet.

More than 3 times throughout the night he offered me his hand (which was small) and left me confused as to if I was supposed to kiss it, hold it, fist bump it, or shake it....? He insists we go get tacos from a food truck down the way. We take his car which smells clean and he drives politely. He then orders ONLY 1 taco, leaving me to order a full meal to eat while he snacks. He hugs me to keep me warm, but I have no desire to hug back, only to be hugged. I'm selfish, but I also paid for the food.

DATE 3: Jewish Callback at the Dive Bar

A call back from a previous match from August. He wanted to meet for tropical drinks at the bar next to where my ex's brother is a chef. I pull around the corner and see a gawky young man with thick rimmed glasses and an oversized army green jacket. I cringe, hoping it would not be my date, yet I knew it was him already.

I take my time now park as I avoid what I know I am already uninterested in. Am I bad at reading profiles? I feel so surprised by these packages I have been ordering online, they always look different in the pictures.

Compared to him I'm over dressed. We clomp to a dive bar he says is close by but feels far away. I immediately pour down two vodka cranberries in a classic dim, punk, half-empty Portland bar. The conversation is easy, but uninteresting. By the third drink the conversation was more tolerable.

He stops to introduce me to his friends on our way out who appeared unexpectedly. I said hello, knowing I would never meet or see them again. He walks me back to my car, and I know I won't talk to him again, but rather than tell him in the dark rainy street, I peck a kiss goodbye and run off. Always best to avoid rejecting a stranger when there are no witnesses.

He messages later offering his number, an offer I don't take up. DATE 4: Latin Firefighter for Wine & Cheese

I was excited for this one because he was cute from the Facetime call we had the previous week. I had covid and he was out of town, so I figured a call might indicate if he was a decent pair. I had drunk texted him a bit as well, naturally.

I arrive to Stem wine bar on a stormy night, the wind blowing the rain sideways into my thoughtful, yet not warm, and cute outfit. He's 5'10" as promised, but with terrible fashion and form. He felt a little un-groomed. His all-black outfit was cheap, thoughtless, and covered in lint. His hair was messy and too long, slightly tucked under a baseball cap to hide it.

He's a proclaimed dom daddy, yet all of his movements felt like bottom energy. Good conversation again, but a night I was happy to end. His only attempts to touch were a weird moment where he fondled my right bicep while I showed him my work on Instagram. He walks me back to my car and I confidently peck him goodbye. I think I might call upon him again.

On second thought, I don't think I will. He follows up with a text next day saying he's thinking of my "soft little kiss". That somehow felt creepy.

[deermi]

Pink Roses | Part 4 (Final)

Summarry: Chanyeol was coming everyday with his pink hair and a bright smile. You didn’t even bother asking what he wanted because he always bought one type of flowers. And one day he didn’t.

Gnere: Fluff, angst if you squint

Warnings: literally one suggestive comment

AU: Florist

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x Reader

Word count: 4,5k~

Author’s note: I have a love-hate relationship with finishing a series, haha. And I will really miss cute Chanyeol and the lovely flowery vibe this fic has. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for staying and reading the whole series!

My phone started to ring on the other side of the room interrupting me softly humming to myself as I was watering the succulents standing next to the entrance to the florist. I took a quick glance at the counter from where the sound of the ringtone was coming and put the watering can on the floor. I swiped my hands into the apron I was wearing and quickly moved to the back of the store to check who was calling me.

I reached the counter and grabbed my phone in a swift motion. A smile appeared on my face immediately after I saw Chanyeol’s name showing on the screen. I ran my hand through my hair and quickly picked up.

“Hi.” I greeted him as cheerfully as I usually did 

I got really used to Chanyeol calling me everyday - sometimes he called me once, but usually it was at least twice. This routine of him dialing my phone number whenever he finished his lectures, or just at any other time of the day when he felt like doing so, became in a short notice something we both got used to. From time to time he called me with a bigger issue he wanted to talk about, but our talks were mostly chit-chats and him saying that he’s just ‘checking on me’. Actually almost every time he did that, he’d right away come to visit the florist, and after helping me close the shop he would walk me home. It was some kind of mini habit we shared together.

“Hi.” he answered with his, now so familiar, deep voice “I was wondering whether you’re free this evening? Baekhyun is inviting some of our friends over for his mini birthday meet up.”

“Are you sure that he wouldn’t mind if I came over?” my brows furrowed slightly at his words

It wasn’t like Baekhyun and I didn’t like each other or something like this. Actually, now that Chanyeol and I were spending much more time together, we got really used to the other’s presence and we began to get along well. The thing I was concerned about was that if it had been Baekhyun's party, he should’ve been the one suggesting that I come, and I didn’t want to intrude. What if he just wanted to spend time with his closest friends?

“Of course not.” Chanyeol reassured me “He told me to tell you to come over if you want and have some free time this evening.”

Another small smile appeared on my face.

“Well…” I let out a sigh of fake annoyance to tease him “Since I don’t have anything planned for today, I guess I’ll come.”

“Damn, I didn’t know you were such a busy person, Y/N.” his laugh from the other side of the phone filled my ears “It’s probably easier to schedule a meeting with the president than one with you.”

Him cracking another one of his jokes, to which I got so used to, made me laugh quietly and I could almost picture him smiling proudly in return as if he had been standing right in front of me. I had noticed that he had this habit of grinning after pulling off a good one-liner. It was this sort of satisfactory sign he was sending to himself unconsciously as a reward for cheering the other person up.

“Okay, but now seriously.” I leaned myself on the counter as I spoke “What time can I come?”

“Whenever you feel like it. You know you’re welcome at our place at any time.”

My visits to their apartment also became more frequent. I pooped in every now and then during the weekends when I didn’t have work, but most of the times it was Chanyeol coming to ‘The Twisted Tulip’. Usually he would help me with some chores I had to do at the shop when I was serving the customers, or when there was nobody else but us we would just sit behind the counter and chat. 

“I’m supposed to be closing the florist at five.” I said “But I think that I’ll go home after. You know, just to grab a snack, change and stuff. But I promise I’ll be quick.”

“Yeah, sure.” Chanyeol was never the type to put pressure on me or anybody else “Take your time. I’ll pick you up at six if you want.”

My heart skipped a bit at his proposition. 

“I’d love that.” the smile on my face was growing even wider with each passing second

“Great!” he exclaimed a little too excitedly, but by that time I was used to his unstoppable outbursts of enthusiasm at the smallest matters “See you later than!”

I answered him with a quick ‘bye’ and hung up. With a loud sigh I put my phone in between my palms. The breaths I was taking were so deep that probably if someone walked inside the florist they would’ve thought that I’m having an asthma attack or something of this kind. I remained leaned against the counter andey the scent of freshly cut flowers fill my nostrils.

My doubts about my own feelings towards Chanyeol started to run through my head. He was the kindest person I have ever met and he always made sure that I was smiling. And the fact that he was extremely good looking wasn’t helping at all. Chan was probably the only person in the whole world I could never say no to whenever he asked me for something. The problem was, that he didn’t really act like only a ‘friend’ with me. I had a feeling like the relationship we had was that one type of relationship in which you know that something’s going on between the two of you, but nobody wants to admit anything. Most probably because they’re scared of rejection or having simply misunderstood the other’s friendly actions. And I hated this weird stadium of our even weirder relationship with passion.

But perhaps all of those things were just what my imagination wanted me to see.

“Coming!” I shouted when I heard the sound of the doorbell coming from outside the kitchen. I put the empty mug that was filled with coffee just a few seconds before down on the counter and rushed to open the door.

The next moment Chanyeol was standing in front of me with the usual grin on his face. The colorful, flowery shirt he was wearing  and messed cotton candy hair made me feel like his smile was even brighter as he leaned against the frame and slowly scanned my body. 

“Ready?” he asked me playfully 

“Yeah, just let me grab my bag and we can go.” I turned around and started to walk to the small sofa where I had left my purse, but on my way I snapped my head back at him “I like your shirt by the way.”

“Thanks.” he looked down at the piece of clothing he was wearing “I knew you would like it.”

I grabbed my purse and swiftly hung it over my shoulder before facing Chanyeol again with my eyebrows raised.

“Because it has flowers on it?”

The boy just shrugged at me and moved so I could walk past him “That was supposed to be the main reason.”

We got out of my small apartment and I grabbed the keys out of the bag to close the doors behind us.

“You know that if something has flowers on it doesn’t mean I am going to instantly like it, right?” I teased him, still focused on putting the key in the lock and turning it around in a quick motion

“Yeah, but you own a florist and seem to like plants in general.” now Chanyeol was leaning on the wall right next to me

“A thing doesn’t need to have flowers on it to make me think that it’s at least decent.”

The keys landed back in my bag right next to my phone and my wallet with a muffled jingle.

“And what if I told you that I had put the shirt for you? Because I had thought you’d like it?” he raised his eyebrows at me playfully, but they almost completely disappeared under the fluffy locks falling down on his forehead “What would you say than?” 

We began walking towards the exit of the building and I felt his fingers gently brushing against mine with each move. For people watching from afar it would’ve looked like something accidental, but it wasn’t the first time Chanyeol did that. And despite the fact that I should’ve been at least somehow used to this kind of affection, there was no way I could’ve hidden the pink blush slowly spreading on my face from him. So I just looked down at myself pretending to be very occupied with the non existent folds on my dress.

“I would say that I really appreciate the fact that you consider my opinion important when it comes to your outfit choices.” my tone was steady, but it was extremely hard to keep it that way with the beating of my heart and the feeling of blood running to my cheeks “And I probably would also say ‘thank you’.”

He chuckled and opened the door for me The first thing I saw after exiting the block of flats was a black car parked in such a messy way, that there was not even a small chance somebody else but Chanyeol could’ve been sitting behind the steering wheel before.

“So the limousine has arrived.” the boy just hopped in front of me and presented the vehicle proudly

I shifted my weight and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I thought we would be taking the bus or a taxi. I didn’t know you had a car.” I said with a gentle shake of my head “And especially such an expensive car. Or just one looking like an expensive.”

Chanyeol walked up to it and held the passenger’s door open for me so I could take a seat inside.

“It is expensive, I can’t lie. But it’s not mine.” he declared as I sat down putting the bag on my knees “It’s Junmyeon’s. He told me I could use it to pick you up. So, no, I don’t have a car. The only thing I have is a driving license, but my parents told me they are not going to get me my own car after I bumped their into a fire hydrant the other day.”

I laughed trying to picture the scene he had just described in my head, when he closed the door and walked around to the other side to sit behind the steering wheel.

“Is Junmyeon that one friend you told me about?” I asked when he jumped into the seat next to me “The one who’s parents are growing money on trees in their garden?”

“Exactly.” he sent me a nod and started the engine while we both fastened our seatbelts “And putting the jokes aside, I’m almost sure that they really do own money trees.”

I sunk into the leather seat at his words.

“God, now I’m scared of meeting him.”

“I swear to you Junmyeon is normal.” Chanyeol’s eyes were focused on the road as he spoke “He’s not like one of those rich, spoiled kids you read about in books. And he’s definitely not the type to show off.”

I put my elbow next to the window and looked out of the it, watching the city passing us as we strolled down the streets.

“You’re lucky I trust you.” the sigh I let out was loud and deep 

For the next ten minutes of our ride we just chatted about random stuff that came up to our minds just like we usually did. Talking with Chanyeol came so easily for me - for some reason I felt like I’ve known him for much longer than I actually did. It was like I could tell him everything and I perfectly knew that he wouldn’t judge me regardless of what my word would be. Maybe it was his personality, his general attitude towards everything, and how effortlessly he was making other people smile, but it also might’ve been because of the feelings slowly boiling inside me. Every single day I had spent with Chan made them grow stronger and harder to get rid of.

I wasn’t exactly scared of them. Yes, having a crush can be overwhelming eventually, but it wasn’t quite my main concern at that time. The thing that worried me the most was how Chanyeol’s previous relationship had ended and how he had almost broken down in front of me after it had happened. Also I really didn’t want to ruin what we already had. I was torn apart between enjoying and getting slowly fed up with it.

“Y/N?” 

His voice made me snap out of my thoughts so I turned my head abruptly to face him.

“You keep spacing out more often these days.” he chuckled at the surprised expression on my face

“Sorry…” I mumbled, looking away “What did you say?”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s kinda cute when you do that.” his eyes were looking at everything but at me “Anyways, I said ‘let’s go’.

Only then I noticed that the car had stopped and I couldn’t hear the engine working anymore. Chanyeol parked the vehicle in the same messy way as he had done it before in front of the building I was living it and unbuckled his seatbelt. I quickly did the same thing and and we synchronically got out.

After walking inside the building and taking the elevator, we stood in front of the door I had become so familiar with in the past weeks.

Without any warning Chanyeol opened them and loudly announced startling both me and the rest of the people inside “We’re here!”

The soft, chill beat coming from a small speaker reached my ears and the smell of something sweet mixed with a hint of alcohol filled my nostrils. Baekhyun had been previously sitting on the couch, his arm lazily thrown over the shoulders of a black haired girl next to him, but swiftly got up to greet us. I looked around the apartment and noticed two more guys and one more girl. 

I felt a knot of anxiety tightening in my stomach as I realized that the only person I only knew one more person expect Chanyeol inside here.

“I hope my car is still working and it won’t require taking it to the mechanic.” another boy walked out of the kitchen and handed both of us glasses filled with black liquid

“Yeah, yeah, nothing happened as I promised.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes “So, Y/N, this is Junmyeon the owner of the cool car.”

I smiled at him and shook his hand gently. Junmyeon was exactly like Chan had told me - completely normal without even a small touch of unnecessary fancy vibe coming from him.

“Okay, guys, this is Y/N.” my friend placed his free hand on the small of my back, pushed me smoothly further into the living room and started pointing at his friends, one after another, with his glass almost spilling the drink inside “This is Kyungsoo, Jongdae, Yoojin and Nayoung.”

My eyes darted from one of the guests to the other with the speed of light  as I tried to remember all the names and match them to the faces.

“Hi.” I sent them a small wave and awkwardly shifted my weight, unconsciously moving closer to Chanyeol whose hand didn’t leave my lower back for a second

We moved to take a seat on the couch, next to Baekhyun and the girl Chanyeol had introduced as Yoojin. My friend rested his arm on the usual spot, on top of the couch right behind my back, and I automatically leaned into him to the point our knees were touching. I took a sip of the drink Junmyeon had given us before and immediately felt the familiar sweet frizz of coke on my tongue along with the bitterness of whiskey. 

“Don’t act so shocked.” Chanyeol whispered into my ear with a small grin on his face when he noticed my furrowed eyebrows “Jun always provides that the drinks are the highest quality.”

“To be honest, after what you had told me, I should’ve been expecting it.” I murmured quietly so only the two of us could’ve heard it while looking at the liquid inside glass 

As time passed by and all of us sat in the living room together laughing and chatting casually, I learned that Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s friends were almost exactly like them - they were absolutely hilarious and treated me like we had known each other before. My previous doubts vanished as quickly as they had previously appeared.

“Y/N, you own a florist, right? Baek told me that.” Yoojin, who was sitting right next to me, turned her head in my direction 

“Yeah.” I nodded and put the now empty glass on the table next to Chanyeol’s “It’s the one near Chan and Baekhyun’s uni.”

“You mean ‘The Twisted Tulip’?” she asked me and when I sent her another nod, she broke into smile “I know exactly where it is. Baekhyun got me flowers from you for our third anniversary and they were all so pretty. I kept the for as long as it was possible.”

“I’m glad you liked them that much.” I mirrored her grin

“And how long the two of you have been together?” Jongdae pointed at me and Chanyeol with his chin putting me completely off “Since we’re talking about anniversaries and stuff.”

I felt Chanyeol stiffen in his place and remove his hand that he had previously placed on my thigh, as I shifted nervously next to him. His eyes landed on my figure for a brief second before he turned his head away from me, but I didn’t have enough courage to face him as well.

“Um…” he started and cleared his throat before continuing “It’s not-”

“We’re not dating.” I interrupted him suddenly, surprising everybody in the room including myself

My whole face was burning and I curled my fingers on the fabric of my dress nervously. For a moment I had a feeling like the beating of my heart along with my heavy breathing were the only sounds inside the apartament.

“Really?” Nayoung’s said with a shocked tone “You two seem extremely close. I actually also thought that you’re a thing.”

My body reacted on it’s own as I stood up and took a deep breath. With my shaky hand I grabbed the empty glass I had previously put on the coffee table in front of me “I’ll refill it and be right back.”

All eyes followed me as I stormed into the kitchen, leaving everybody in the living room dumbfounded. I took the half empty bottle of coke and poured the drink inside the glass, but I didn’t even bother taking a sip.

With everything almost boiling inside of me I placed both of my hands on the kitchen counter. I hated how freely Chanyeol had been acting with me on the couch. And I hadn’t even bothered stopping him. No, I had even responded to that and done almost the same thing. Perhaps I just wanted it to become something more than just friendly actions? Maybe I wanted us to stop beating around the bush and clear everything between us up? But what if he hadn’t felt the same need?

“Hey.” 

I jumped in my spot, almost spilling the drink in front of me, when I heard Chanyeol’s voice as he entered the kitchen.

“You looked like there was something bothering you when you stormed out like that.” he said and took a few steps closer to me “You okay?”

I wanted to shout at him. Scream that I wasn’t okay at all because I didn’t know if he wanted the same things I did. Because I hated the fact that I wasn’t sure who we were for each other. But I couldn’t do that. Not to Chanyeol. He was just too precious for me.

“Yeah.” my voice was barely a whisper 

I sent him a sad smile, perfectly knowing that he could’ve seen in my eyes that I wasn’t exactly fine. But he didn’t dig deeper into the topic. Instead he grabbed my palms and pulled me into his chest, his familiar scent hitting me. My arms instinctively wrapped around his waist, as his circled around my frame, and my hands began rubbing his back soothingly.

A few seconds ago, I had just wanted to scold him and scream at him for all of his actions. But now all I wanted was just to stay forever in his embrace, listen to his steady heartbeat, and forget about my feelings. Maybe we were just meant to stay the way we already were?

“Can I ask you something?” he asked me quietly 

I hummed in response, giving him a signal to continue.

“Does the thought of dating me scare you that much?”

I moved away from him just enough to look at him. My brows were furrowed because I wasn’t sure if I had heard his question correctly. But the pink blush dusting his cheeks and his eyes that were piercing into mine were enough evidence for me to know that I couldn’t have misheard it. I didn’t know wether it was my heartbeat that had sped up or his.

“No…” I murmured “Actually, it doesn’t scare me at all.”

“So why did you run away when they asked us about dating?”

I hid my face in his chest once more feeling the embarrassment and anxiety grow inside of me.

“I don’t know… I was just afraid it would turn out weirdly awkward if any of us had answered it.”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be ‘weirdly awkward’ next time.” he suggested still holding me close, but I leaned back in his embrace connecting our eyes again “Maybe we could have an answer next time somebody asks us a question like that?”

For a few seconds I didn't respond because I wasn't sure if I was reading well enough between the lines to know what he meant.

“Maybe we could give it a chance? Give us a chance, I mean?” his voice was getting quieter with each word “Only if you want to though.”

“I…” I breathed out softly and smiling at him genuinely “I’d love that.”

Chanyeol stared at me in disbelief for a bit and let out a sigh of relief right after. I felt his chest slowly fall down. We just looking at each other for a moment with grins on both of our faces before breaking out into fits of laughter. Chanyeol placed his forehead on mine, holding me even closer to his frame and stared deeply into my eyes.

“I wanted to say that I really like you, but I guess it’s not the case.” his warm breath fanned my cheeks “Because I actually love you.”

I giggled at his words and said “I actually love you too.”

Catching me off guard, he dipped his head and captured his lips with mine. I quickly collected myself and responded to the kiss with my eyes closed as I let the feelings take control. His kisses were gentle as a feather and I could feel the taste of the drink we had before in them. Chanyeol’s lips moulded into mine perfectly as both of our bodies worked in synch. My hands moved up to his shoulders and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My fingers tangled in his pink locks and I felt him tilt his head slightly to deepen the kiss.

“Okay, it’s the second time I’m walking inside the kitchen when you two are here alone and next time I’ll just scream before I do it.”

Baekhyun’s annoyed tone made us quickly pull away from each other and immediately look at the floor with our cheeks flushed.

“I wanted to check what was taking you so long, but I guess I should’ve known better than to casually walk in.” he crossed his arms over his chest “Hand holding in the kitchen - fine, kissing in the kitchen - I can live with that. Just don’t go any further.”

My face started to burn even deeper shade of red at Baekhyun’s words, but the boy didn’t comment on anything else and just turned away to go back to the living room, leaving me alone with Chanyeol again.

Breaking the moment of silence I let out a short laugh and threw my head back. Chanyeol wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into him again, both of us completely forgetting about Baekhyun and his comments.

“You know, I think I figured out what flower is my favourite now.” he said, his thumb rubbing small circles on my waistline

“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrows at him “What is it than?”

“Roses.” he announced “Especially pink.”

I hit his chest playfully.

“Hey, but that’s my favourite flower!”

“And you’re my favourite person in the world so it’s only natural that it’s my favourite flower too.”

His cheesy comment made me giggle in the spot as I leaned in to peck him on the lips once more. And one more time. And another one, letting the third kiss last for a little longer. Chanyeol’s hand cupped my cheek and he caressed the skin of my face with my thumb.

“I can accept that explanation.” I teased him after we pulled away reluctantly

The moment I had met him, I knew that he was somehow different from anybody else I had known throughout my whole life. Because actually Chanyeol and I were like pink roses - full of sweetness, joy and pure happiness. And I knew that we would stay like that for longer than forever.

[otomebois-bb]

Day 1 of Kiro Month: Pranks

Title: Prank War

Pairing: Kiro & MC (Emci)

Notes: A bit generic perhaps, and maybe slightly on the shorter side, but I had fun writing this, and I hope you have fun reading it, too!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What began as an innocent prank turned into a full-fledged war.

One prank, in "honor" of April Fool's Day. Just one prank was all I wanted.

Kiro didn't appreciate that I tried to pass off caramel onions as caramel apples, so he retaliated by putting a fake spider taped inside the lampshade and laughing his ass off while I freaked out.

Of course, I couldn't let him get away with that, so I pulled another prank, sparking him to also prank me again, and it became a seemingly never-ending cycle of pranking back and forth...

It didn't matter where we went or who else was around; our prank war stopped for no one.

Savin was not very happy with the fake poop Kiro left on the couch, or the invisible saran wrap I had rigged in front of the door to the bathroom not long after bringing Kiro multiple glasses of water after his dance rehearsal.

"April Fool's or not, do not bring your pranks here!" he eventually yelled at us.

We promptly left to go home immediately after, only further irritating Savin, but we ignored his texts as our prank war continued.

The pranks became increasingly intense as the day progressed...

"Hey, Kiro," I said, skipping up to him. Holding my hand out, I asked, "Chocolate egg?"

Suspicion set in on his face, evident in his furrowed eyebrows and deep pout. "What did you do to it?" he accused, slowly reaching for it anyway.

I frowned, keeping my poker face. "Nothing, it's just chocolate. Consider it a peace offering."

His face began to brighten... until he unwrapped what was actually hidden in the chocolate wrapper. "A grape?! Seriously?!"

I ran away, cackling as I reveled in my victory while Kiro vowed he'd get me back.

"Get me back" he did — I later returned to the kitchen in search of a snack for a break from pranking and found a can of potato chips sitting on the counter, not looking too out of place. I thought it was strange for the chips to come in a can, but was hungry nonetheless...

Only to shriek and fall on my butt when a snake came flying at me after opening it!

When I heard Kiro laughing in the living room, my blood practically boiled from anger, and I immediately plotted my revenge prank.

Just as I had set my prank bowl of treats on the coffee table, Kiro hesitantly approached me, waving a white flag.

"Please," he said, "as fun as this is, I don't want to be afraid of standing next to you. I just want my girlfriend back."

I frowned. "You're serious?"

"Yes. Pinky swear?" He held his pinky out, still waving his flag with his other hand.

I inspected his finger before locking my pinky around his. "Fine."

He released a breath I hadn't realized he'd been holding, then pulled me in close. "Thank you," he muttered into my hair.

He let go of me and almost instantly noticed the bowl I'd forgotten I'd set out. "Cool, Skittles!"

"Kiro, wait!" I exclaimed.

But it was too late; Kiro had already shoved a handful of mixed together Skittles, M&Ms, and Reese's Pieces into his mouth. Immediately after, he made a distasteful face, but managed to chew and swallow everything. "I hate you."

"Sorry." I giggled.

END.

[soontobedvm]

A Day in the Life of An Emergency Veterinarian

4:40 AM: Alarm screaming. I’m screaming. We are all screaming for coffee. 

4:45 AM: Stealthily grabbing clothes and dodging cats on our bed without waking up the hubby. 

4:46 AM: Forgot a sock. UGH

5:15 AM: Coffee gulped, dog let out to potty, clothes on, stethoscope in hand. 

5:30 AM: Arrive at work.  Sigh, because wouldn’t it be nice to arrive in the sunlight once? 

5:32 AM: Print out hospital list, time for cage side rounds to discuss each patient. 

6:14 AM: My head is spinning from the whirlwind of 20 + inpatient histories, diagnostics, and treatments being shoved rudely into my brain. 

6:30 AM: Do morning physicals. Avoid being pooped on. AWWWW YEAH!

7:03 AM: Organize, look at, and write on patient charts. 

7:30 AM: Wake up some owners with important patient update phone calls. 

8:20 AM: First outpatient of the day is here. Unable to pee cat. Here. We. Go!

8:40 AM: Place a urinary catheter in this cat while an actively seizing dog comes straight back to the treatment room. Start listing off drug doses for the seizure dog while I suture in this catheter. Oh, there’s an owner in room 7 that wants to talk to me too. 

9:10 AM: Come out of seizure dog room, there’s two dogs that ate chocolate in room 5, and a cat who has blue string coming out of his butt in room 3. 

10:00 AM: Try not to sigh as I’m asked “How old are you exactly? Can’t we ask for another vet, perhaps a male one?” in an exam room. 

10:25 AM: Hit by car rushed into the back. Check vitals, do diagnostics, stabilize. Looks like leg is broken, too. Surgery transfer tomorrow for this little one. 

11:00 AM: Go through treatment options of kidney failure from cancer in a cat with the sweetest people. They cry, and ask me what I would do if it was my cat. They cry again. Tissues and a soft, compassionate voice is all I can offer them, but I wish I could offer them more. 

12:05 PM: “Room 4 is ready.” I know that line. I grab the solution, I walk into a room with sobbing owners, and I guide them through one of the hardest decisions they will ever have to make. 

12:08 PM: I exit room 4, a little shaken. I get a hug from my tech, and then eat a granola bar as I look through the 16 pages of history for my next case that is having difficulty breathing. Has had a liver mass removed, and has chronic allergies, and has seizures, and the list goes on....

2:01 PM: Attack by dog brought to the back for bleeding excessively. Work on a sedation protocol and then go see a possible Parvo in room 11.

2:10 PM: Get screamed at for “being in it just for the money” even though I severely discounted the exam fee even though I wasn’t supposed to and gave them donated medications and fluids completely free of charge. 

3:00 PM: Finish up the laceration repair, work on some discharges and other medical notes. 

3:30 PM: Talk to owner regarding her heat stroke dog, not realizing until afterward that I still had blood on my shirt from the laceration repair. 

3:50 PM: DOA (dead on arrival) hit by car. I am pulled from a room into this one, which is full of disbelief, anger, and sadness. Their screaming follows me into the hallway.  

4:00 PM: I try to eat a little snack as I have time to stew over a mistake I made a few days ago. The nightmares at night are telling me that I’m not over it. I put down my snack.

4:10 PM: See an “emergency” rash on a dog. Owner also lifts shirt to show me her “emergency” rash as well. 

4:20 PM: Paperwork. 

5:30 PM: Become a little giddy. Only 30 minutes left until freedom!

5:55 PM: A dystocia (trouble giving birth) walks into the door. And there goes my chance to leave at a decent time. 

6:30 PM: The puppies aren’t coming, and ultrasound shows fetal distress. Time to kick it into high gear and get our butts into surgery. 

7:00 PM: It doesn’t matter that I’ve done it before. My palms are still sweaty, and I feel like I might puke. “Don’t mess this up, you bumbling idiot,” says the voice in my head.

7:20 PM: With shaking hands, I have the puppies out.  I try not to hope too much, but I hope they are okay as I suture up the Momma. 

8:00 PM: I walk out of surgery with bated breath. I hear squeaks as I round the corner, and I’m handed two pink and happy puppies. And I smile, perhaps for the first time in a while.  

9:00 PM: Leave work. 

9:20 PM: Kiss hubby, shove some fast food in my mouth while we chat about our cases from the day (he’s a vet too!)

9:45 PM: SLEEP. 

[piilokarsastus]

Hey look, actual "unique" questions

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? closed? or sometimes open, I don’t really care 

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel? no

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out? tucked in

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before? no

5: Do you like to use post-it notes? no

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them? I don’t cut out coupons

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? bear

8: Do you have freckles? no

9: Do you always smile for pictures? no

10: What is your biggest pet peeve? when I have to spend 6 hours on a train and there are noisy kids in the same car as me

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk? sometimes

12: Have you ever peed in the woods? yes (If you haven’t, you’re not a true Finn)

13: What about pooped in the woods? also yes (optional, but makes you a hardcore Finn)

14: Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing? no

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils? no

16: How many people have you slept with this week? none

17: What size is your bed? fits one person (two if you’re snuggly)

18: What is your Song of the week? literally haven’t listened to music all week, which is weird by my standards

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink? yes (why is this a question)

20: Do you still watch cartoons? no

21: Whats your least favorite movie? Pirates of the Caribbean 5, sadly

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some? in the YARRRRRD

23: If you're a girl, bra size? If you're a guy, pants size? 27/30 (pants, that is)

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in? ma mouth

25: What is your favorite food? pizza

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love? The King’s Speech, too lazy to think of others because there would be many

27: Last person you kissed/kissed you? my gf

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout? no

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? depends on what I get

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper? August 2016

31: Can you change the oil on a car? no

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket? no

33: Ever ran out of gas? okay I don’t drive a car can we move on

34: Favorite kind of sandwich? literally any if it doesn’t have ingredients I don’t like

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast? bread

36: What is your usual bedtime? when I have school, 11pm-1am, and when I don’t, around 4am

37: Are you lazy? yeeah

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween? Harry Potter

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign? Rabbit

40: Are you horny? at the moment, not particularly, although that may be subject to change

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions? no

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs? wtf why is this even a question? legos goddammit wtf even are lincoln logs

43: Are you stubborn? no

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman? no idea who you’re talking about

45: Ever watch soap operas? well I’ve watched a few series that count as soap operas 

46: Are you afraid of heights? not particularly

47: Do you sing in the car? no

48: Do you sing in the shower? occasionally

49: Do you dance in the car? ...no?

50: Ever used a gun? no

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? last autumn

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy? yes, as they should

53: Is Christmas stressful? no

54: Ever eat a pierogi? yes

55: Favorite type of fruit pie? only had apple, unless blueberry counts as fruit

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? actor, prince (shut up it’s an occupation now), president, designer

57: Do you believe in ghosts? no

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yes

59: Take a vitamin daily? no

60: Wear slippers? no

61: Wear a bath robe? no

62: What do you wear to bed? underwear

63: First concert? Igudesman & Joo

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? never been to any of them

65: Nike or Adidas? couldn’t care less

66: Cheetos Or Fritos? Fritos (I haven’t tasted either but I generally don’t care for cheese snacks)

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? peanuts

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? no

69: Ever take dance lessons? no

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? I guess at the moment that would be... a Finnish teacher or perhaps a costume designer, it’s up to her

71: Can you curl your tongue? yes

72: Ever won a spelling bee? no (Finnish spelling bee would be really interesting to watch as everything’s pretty much pronounced as written)

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes

74: Own any record albums? no

75: Own a record player? no

76: Regularly burn incense? never do

77: Ever been in love? yes

78: Who would you like to see in concert? Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin or Liszt, although as they’re all dead, I’m going to have to go with Robert D. Levin or Marc-André Hamelin

79: What was the last concert you saw? two local amateur wind orchestras

80: Hot tea or cold tea? hot

81: Tea or coffee? tea

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles? sugar or WHAT

83: Can you swim well? yeah I guess

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yes

85: Are you patient? yeah

86: DJ or band, at a wedding? band, definitely (chamber ensembles are also nice)

87: Ever won a contest? yes

88: Ever have plastic surgery? no

89: Which are better black or green olives? trick question, olives suck

90: Can you knit or crochet? no

91: Best room for a fireplace? the fireplace room™

92: Do you want to get married? It doesn’t really matter but I would be nice

93: If married, how long have you been married? not married

94: Who was your HS crush? I’m just graduating high school so that would be my gf

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way? nope

96: Do you have kids? no

97: Do you want kids? no

98: Whats your favorite color? blue (and green and purple and black and white)

99: Do you miss anyone right now? my gf :(

[drunkenvigors]

These are kinda therapeutic for me (I’m going to skip some of them cause there’s a lot though!) sorry if you somehow know me irl and see this

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I would love to be at least 5’6

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) I already have my dream pets and I love them with my entire being

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? No I switch between so many I never look the same lmao

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Don’t make me answer this it’s too hard to think of, nextttt.

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: 8:30pm (my fave time of day), mashed potatoes, and the rest of my brain goes into oblivion idk

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? I care too much or not at all there’s no inbetween beware I could scare u off or piss u off take ur pick

9: Are you ticklish? Everywhere on me is ticklish unfortunately but you can get a free pass to tickle me for 1min if I think you’re cute, otherwise take ya hands off the merchandise stupid bitch.

10: Are you allergic to anything? Being social

11: What’s your sexuality? I am pansexual but due to being bullied about it I tell everyone I’m Bi.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? This is a choice nobody should have to make.

13: Are you a cat or dog person? I am a regular person that loves them both

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Short enough to pass as an elf so why not 🧝‍♀️

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? David Dobrik, hes entertainment for when I’m eating snacks

16: How tall are you? Mind ya business.. 5feet...

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Tee, that’s what I go by anyways so considered it changed

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? Yes and no.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? How about neither because they’re big cluster fucks of the unknown and that in itself is terrifying

22: Pet peeves? Letting me get attached and talking to me then leaving me hanging without any fucking explanation like um lmao you suck

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? I’m nocturnal for sure

24: Favorite constellation? Dis pussy

25: Favorite star? Ur moms pussy

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? This sounds sexual

27: Any phobias or fears? Too many dots/holes in the same area, I’ll actually vomit.

28: Do you think global warming is real? OBVIOUSLY

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? Eeeehhhh I guess. I believe in a lot of different theories that I’ve thought of myself, I don’t care what other people think about these things because I’d like to stay true to my own thoughts.

30: Favorite movie? Spirited Away

31: Do you get scared easily? Not really

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Too much math brb

34: What is a color that calms you? Red yay

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? ... don’t make me say it because I won’t

36: Where were you born? In a Jesus piece praise

37: What is your eye color? Poop

38: Introvert or extrovert? Both depending on the day

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? Yea & if you don’t we probably won’t get along very well

40: Hugs or kisses? I’m definitely a hugger

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? There’s a very kind soul I’m dying to meet

42: Who is someone you love deeply? Tiger (my cat)

43: Any piercings you want? My bridge

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? This is hilarious if you’ve never seen me before

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? No smh are u kidding me that shits for the birds ya’heard weed will kill ya ;’(

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Godddd fucking DAMN he is so nice to me. Better than the stupid fuck people I tried to take care of around my area. These circumstances really suck.

47: What is a sound you really hate? There’s a couple people in mind that when they talk I would love to just shove a sock down their throat

48: A sound you really love? A skateboard on the pavement

49: Can you do a backflip? Fuk off maybe I’ll try to after doing this post

50: Can you do the splits? Used to

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Myself when I need to get out of certain situations due to excessive anxiety but not wanting to show my real emotions, you feel?

53: How are you feeling right now? Would be better if I wasn’t here rn

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? Exactly how it is

55: When did you feel happiest? When I get attention from the person I want it from, stupid romantic bullshit that doesn’t even matter

56: Something that calms you down? Probably my sister because we can laugh anything off together and I mean ANYTHING

57: Have any mental disorders? I can’t count them all on one hand

58: What does your URL mean? It’s from a hopsin song and Bioshock infinite. Good luck figuring it out

59: What three words describe you the most? Confusing, loud, quiet, and I’ll add one more, contradiction

60: Do you believe in evolution? Well.. how do you think we’re humans rn, we came from monkeys or whatever

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? If they post stupid ads or things that’ll try to pursue you into doing something

62: What makes you follow a blog? If it fits my aesthetic

63: Favorite kind of person: funny

64: Favorite animal(s): 🐨

66: Favorite emoticon: 🖤

67: Favorite meme: disgusteng

69: What is your star sign? TAURUS BAAAABYYYY 😍

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No but I can so wassup dâddÿ

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? I have too many to pick

72: Post a selfie or two? How about no because I’m ugly lmao tf

73: Do you have platform shoes? NO I SHOULD GET SOME TBH

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I’ve pissed myself while drunk too many times to count, do as you wish with this information because I find it hilarious & I’m glad I don’t have an alcohol problem anymore lol

75: Can you do a front flip? Actually, yes, yes I can

76: Do you like birds? Don’t hate me for this but no I really don’t

77: Do you like to swim? Yessss

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Ice skating

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: trump

80: Some thing you wish did exist: a green sky and a purple moon

81: Piercings you have? Lip, nose, ears, nipple (yes only one of them lmao)

82: Something you really enjoy doing: sucking my own dick for attention

83: Favorite person to talk to: myself in the mirror

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Idk I was so young when I made this blog I can’t recall

85: How many followers do you have? Idk does it even matter

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? I smoke far too many cigarettes for that

87: Do your socks always match? Never

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? No wtf you thought I was fit? Nexxxttt

89: What are your birthstones? Emerald

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Koala

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Lillies, sunflowers, or buttercup flowers

92: A store you hate? Aerocrombie or however you fuckin spell it

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? 6 or 7

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Read minds but I would probably end up killing myself knowing all the bad things people think of me

95: Do you like to wear camo? Sometimes

96: Winter or summer? Summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for? 326183621

98: Least favorite person? Andrew lol fuck you.

99: Someone you look up to: my homies that have passed away, I look up to them every day

100: A store you love? I like to order things

101: Favorite type of shoes? VANS

102: Where do you live? Doesn’t matter smh

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nnnooo

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Shiet

105: Do you drink milk? Milk drinks me glug glug bitch

106: Do you like bugs? NAH

107: Do you like spiders? NEGATIVE

108: Something you get paranoid about? Crack

109: Can you draw: if I try

110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? Mannnnn idk

111: A question you hate being asked? Anything about my dead homies makes me at least a little uncomfortable

112: Ever been bitten by a spider? No

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Obviously

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Sunny but not burning hot sunny u feel me

115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: who told u this information

THIS IS LONG

120: Fruits or vegetables? Fruit salad perhaps

121: Something you want to do right now: Get tf out of here

122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky for sure

123: Sweet or sour foods? I eat sweets to confuse the demons inhabiting this body

124: Bright or dim lights? Dimmadomedim

125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Bitch u really thought dragons aren’t real

126: Something you hate about Tumblr: everyone is so sensitive bro then y’all gang up and bully someone for something so small & meaningless as if you have nothing better to do with yourselves

127: Something you love about Tumblr: nobody really knows me here & if you do then hey hi wassup I trust you 🖤

128: What do you think about the least? Sheesh I have adhd next question please

129: What would you want written on your tombstone? She was a bitch but she was a lit bitch

130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Fuck violence

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? My mind

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Ehhhhh on occasion

133: Computer or TV? Tv

134: Do you like roller coasters? Naaah son

135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No

136: Are your ears lobed or attached? Lobed thank god

137: Do you believe in karma? HAH YES, she been slacking though💀👀

138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? 3 tbh

139: What nicknames do you have/have had? People used to call me gauges and I am so glad that stage is over

140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Oh, you mean schizophrenia because yes

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? For years, then I dipped out because I know I can’t be cured from mental instability

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Bad bad baaaad yikes

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving

144: What makes you angry? When people play with me or attention seeking people, I really hate some of y’all cry baby asses fr

145: How many languages do you speak fluently? one sadly

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? All of the above

147: Are you androgynous? Have you seen me because lmao

148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: I can’t even pick one because I genuinely hate myself and how I look

149: Favorite thing about your personality: my what now 💀

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person: Jeremy McKinnon I want to tell him thank you. That’s it I guess

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? Um probably none

152: Do you like BuzzFeed? Oooooofff I used to years ago but shit I’m over it now

153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] my what

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? NO I AM NOT THE MOM FRIEND

155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Not unless you’re my actual partner and even then I don’t really like to

156: What embarrasses you? Being outside

157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: speaking/existing

158: Biggest lie you have ever told: I love you

159: How many people are you following? Idk prob a lot

160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? I’ve had this since I was 12 or something I really don’t know

161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? IDFKKK

162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? WHAT