#i hope it's okay that i don't reveal my f/os

[starrylvr]

Hi!! My name is Star; I'm new to the selfship community. I've been lurking around here for a while but never worked up the courage to actually make my own selfship blog until very recently. Below is my intro, DNI, etc.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

I use they/them pronouns (and any celestial neopronouns), I'm aroace but selfship romantically, and I'm a minor. I'm perfectly okay with adults following / interacting as long as they're okay with minors doing the same.

I probably won't be revealing who my F/Os are, because the fandom they're from is very small and I'm close with the majority of people in it. They would definitely know who I am and I don't really want anyone close to me to know I selfship :'^) Regardless, I want to officially become a part of this community and make some friends / mutuals!

DNI:

• Proship / comship / anti-anti / whatever

• Adults who romantically and/or sexually selfship with minors

• Those who selfship with real people

Tagging System:

• Triggers will be tagged #[trigger] tw. I only tag common triggers by default; if you're a mutual of mine and need something less common tagged, shoot me an ask / dm and I'll do my best to accommodate you!

• My original posts will be tagged #op

• Queued posts will be tagged #q

• Reblogs will be tagged #rb

• Posts about my romantic F/Os will be tagged #<3: [their emoji]

• Posts about my platonic F/Os will be tagged #☆: [their emoji]

• Posts about my familial F/Os will be tagged #❀: [their emoji]

While I won't reveal my F/Os, I do have a tagging system for them! My romantic F/Os and I are in a poly relationship — so they're dating each other as well as me.

Romantic F/Os <3: 🌌, 🖤

Platonic F/Os ☆: 👾

Familial F/Os ❀: 💜 (dad)

That's all!! I hope I can make some friends here xx

[making-music-with-you]

Me; I wanna be anonymous abt my blorbos

Also me; I wanna participate in selfship stuff

So anyways f/o reveal time. Two of them are from tiny fandoms so I'm gonna still call them but their emojis here because I don't want tiny fandoms getting overwhelmed by Me Gushing About My F/Os. But also the third and fourth are from fairly popular fandoms and I Dislike Being Perceived. So everyone is getting emojis.

This is 🐈‍⬛, my W I F E.

Their name is Fusataro. I hc them as bigender, so any pronouns for them. I usually use she tho. I've been with them for a hot minute now and they're actually something of a thoughtform. I fully regard us as married in everything but legality and spiritually. Hoping to find someone willing to spiritually marry us, but it's hard to find someone of my faith, much less one okay with fictional character marriage. My self insert for them is literally me, 🦡.

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This is 🔩!

His name is Vise. He's not the brightest bulb in the box but I love him. He's my little rabbit boy with his cute little teefs. I haven't been with him nearly as long as 🐈‍⬛ but he's a poor sopping wet little meow meow and he's mine. My self insert for him and his universe is 🦀 and I'm just an Eldritch Autism Crechur who is obsessed with this little Thing.

-

Next is 💀

Literally the only canon screenshot of him is of him dead and I don't like the picture of him on the book cover. So like. Hi there necro fans. This is Ra//thma. He's the son of a demon and an angel and the progenitor of the entire craft of necromancy in his universe. My self-insert is 🐍 and I am desperately in love with him but he's dead so I'm devoted to trying to get to know him through what texts he's left behind and yet also afraid to try and commune with him even though I regularly commune with the dead. He's very amused watching me do this. I want to know him and love him properly BUT THAT'S KINDA DIFFICULT.

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GODDAMMIT IM ADDING ANOTHER ONE.

Here's 🐕, my ouppy,,,

I'm not normal about him. At all. I'm obsessed and insane about him. Uh. My s.i. is 🦅 and they're very, very toxic. Might add more to this later I'm just. AAA.

[fakeloveaskblog]

['Kay, let's! (Thumbs up) Don't worry, it's easy to forget that kinda stuff.]

A'right. *makes candy cigarette out of thin air and gives it to Remus* Just so we're clear? I don't mind that you were in rehab at any point. Also, you factually cannot start rumours with me; who would even tell? Karen from HR?

As for the thing at the party: It isn't pretty, but if you want to remember that badly, then I can… I don't think saying it is going to cut it actually, Remus, not really. But I can't… yeah, no, won't make you watch that again, so saying it will have to cut it actually.

I'll give you the barebones of what went down—like ripping off a bandaid.

Remy was at the party, you remember that part, right? They went there with their… awful boyfriend, Virgil, who was the one who blocked them from contacting you.

A very much drunk Janus decided to talk to them, accidentally revealed he knew their name (and thus knew them) and said awful boyfriend proceeded to… *deep breath* freak out and abuse them in front of everyone in the room, and also hit Janus when they tried to stop him. Last Janus saw he was drunk driving but, while I can't say they got there safely or… unscathed, Remy did make it "home" I guess. They're still in need of help though, which I hope they get. Do you remember now? (It's okay if you don't, trauma can be like that.)

The candy cigarette landed in Remus' palm. He held it up and pretended it was a person's head as he bit into it.

"Oooh snazzy taste" He sent you a bright smile "See? I'm eating it, with my mouth! Me and Rowan are going to the doctor to get the ng tube removed next week!"

He let up into a toothy laugh at your joke. At the same time his shoulders relaxed.

"I dunno dude. I'd just thought demons kinda had giant gossip orgies or something" He scratched at the back of his head, a small smile was on his lips "Thanks for uh not thinking anything of my uhm rehab stay. That....Those months of my life were just a whole mess so I sometimes get nervous about people judging me for them"

Remus sat down on the hood of the car and crossed his legs in anticipation of hearing you retell what had happened at the party. He continued to chew on the candy cigarette. The chewing slowly stopped and the small smile slowly disappeared from his lips as you spoke, and as he remembered.

There was a vacant look in his eyes as he stared at you. You finished your message. Remus moved his hand up to his cheek and realized he was crying.

"I- I'm sorry-" He looked at the tears that had fallen onto his fingertips "I- I have no idea why I'm crying. I've never- it's not like I've ever been yelled at in a club-"

He buried his face in his hands and didn't speak for a while.

"....so....janus...was bleeding because of virgil..." He mumbled "and....and remy has me blocked because of...him"

He wiped away the tears but his arms stilled in the air after that. For about a minute he was still, only staring forward. His eyes went a bit hazy. Even when he moved again the motions were sudden and jerky, like a malfunctioning animatronic.

"sorry. might be. might be dissociating. its. its very. its okay"

It was silent for a bit longer before he continued.

"....yelling was...very rude...it was very rude of virgil...very....i dont...i dunno if it was abusive...yelling is very....though..its just that..."

Os had never been the type to yell. It was always the looks, the muttered (or worse, whispered) words or bitter laughs that had made Remus feel small.

But he did recognize getting grabbed by the wrist, nails piercing the skin, and getting dragged away against his will. He did recognize every one of his words being ignored or cut off when he'd tried to talk back (sometimes he’d been too high to speak. Too high to realize what was going on). He did recognize the insults, even if they had been hushed, that he was stupid, that he- everything about him- was messed up, that he was a-

He did recognize getting isolated from- from everyone really. But it had never been forced. Never blocking numbers or insulting people. Just low murmurs into his ears whenever he talked to someone else. About how they probably found him annoying, grating, disturbing, gross, a waste of time. Until he willingly turned the person away.

"...but that wasn't abu- it wasnt..." He mumbled.

Was it the yelling? Was that the thing that drove it over the edge. Every time he tried to think about Virgil as being abusive the fuzziness in his head got worse. The implications of it hurt. His brain wouldn't allow it.

"....sorry...sorry....just having a headache......i hope remy is okay...even if it wasnt..or it was...or...ow....i can go with janus to the therapy doctor sorry i mean words are so scrambled. to the therapist...on...on uhm...the wednesday i think.....hopefully i can ask if remy is okay then...but it couldnt have been...That....couldnt have..."

Remus shook his head and moved his hands around in kind of choppy flaps to stim some of the fuzziness away. He quickly checked his phone before standing up.

"It hehe it seems...like....like..rowan has forgotten about me. she usually texts when i can come up into the into the apartment....no message....so...so i will go on walk and buy some breakfast and then i will be fine. hopefully i find bottles to destroy or i bang my head so hard to music my brain explodes"

He chewed on the candy cigarette while pulling on his jacket. He gave you a quick glance.

"dont worry. i know how to handle the dissociation....walking helps......i...i hope remy is okay"