#i just really adore the gender reversed fairy tale aspect of their love story

[princesssarisa]

What are your favorite romantic tropes in love stories?

Good question. This requires some thought...

I generally like slow-burn and friends-to-lovers, including childhood friends-to-lovers. Dislike-to-friendship-to love is fine, as are characters who like each other but feign dislike because they're too proud or afraid to admit it (e.g. Beatrice and Benedick), but full-blown enemies-to-lovers (i.e. people who are dangerous to each other) I don't care for. What matters is that there be warmth, tenderness, joy, preferably humor, and understanding between them.

That said, I enjoy classic fairy tale Love At First Sight in the right context, as well as grand, sweeping Romantic passion, just as long as it's handled in a way that feels sincere, not shallow or caricatured.

I like couples whose personalities contrast with each other in complimentary ways, but also couples who have qualities in common that most other people around them don't share. For the best couples, both of these things are true.

I also insist (for the most part) on egalitarian pairings with mutual respect, mutual feelings, and mutual power in the relationship. If one partner has more power in terms of status, wealth, or other external factors, then the other has to equal it with the emotional power she wields (or sometimes he, but usually she). Equal character development on both sides is good too, and a good balance between that development and acceptance of each other, flaws and all. While I love Disney's Beauty and the Beast, I do slightly dislike the fact that the character development is so one-sided, with the Beast changing so much more than Belle does, and he changes so much that I have asked myself sometimes if Belle really loves him or if she just loves a role she's taught him to play. And part of what makes Pride and Prejudice so good a love story (at least to me) is the balance it strikes: despite pop culture misremembering it as a "woman changes man" story, Elizabeth and Darcy are both flawed and both change, yet both keep the same core personalities they always had, and both stay imperfect (improved, but imperfect), yet come together anyway.

I like "jaded and innocent" pairings too. Not necessarily "grumpy and ray of sunshine," but someone who's had a hard life that's left them cynical about the world and about their own place in it, paired with a younger and more idealistic person who unexpectedly helps them rediscover their own inner idealism, and who sees the goodness in them that they had lost sight of in themselves. I especially like these parings when the jaded partner is a woman, though the more common pairing of "innocent girl, jaded guy" is fine too.

For that matter, I always like couples that subvert gender stereotypes; I adore strong women and emotional men. One trope that's sometimes especially therapeutic for me is when a woman adores her male love interest, but values other things (her responsibilities, her morals, her loyalty to other women, etc.) just as much, if not slightly more, while to him, personal relationships are everything, particularly the love he shares with her. They have to somehow resolve this difference, which preferably they do without teaching her to prioritize her man above everything. I enjoy this because more often, we see it in reverse: to the woman, love is everything, but to her man, love is just one aspect of life, and other duties matter more to him than she does. I think my desire to invert this trope is part of why I've written a gender-bent version of The Magic Flute. Let the girl be the one who sets out to find romantic love, but then finds a bigger community and calling, and let the boy be the one who temporarily gets pushed aside (until they finally unite as one in the end) for a change!

An element of rock-solid loyalty is also a plus. I don't care much for on-and-off romance arcs. Which isn't to say that I only ship couples who are perfectly functional. Far from it! But I like a sense of "even if we fight, even if we say terrible things to each other, even if you hurt me or we hurt each other, I'm not giving up on you; or even if I do leave, I still care about you and I don't want you to suffer." This is one thing I like about Heathcliff and Cathy from Wuthering Heights, that lets me see a sublime beauty in their love amidst the toxicity: neither one would ever dream of permanently ending their relationship (though tragically, neither fully realizes this about the other until it's too late), and while they sometimes say terrible things to and about each other, they don't do terrible things to each other. I'll die on the hill that in the book, Heathcliff marries Isabella for her inheritance to spite Edgar, not to hurt Cathy, because Cathy knows he doesn't love Isabella and he knows she knows. They care more about each other's wellbeing than pop culture thinks they do.

To me, nothing is sexier than when a couple cares about each other's wellbeing; that's what love should be. I loathe seeing selfish, possessive love glorified just because it's "passionate." Support, generosity, empathy, sacrifices... those are things I like.

I hope this wasn't too much of a novel.