#i knew 91s first nhl goal was an away game and i almost had a stroke thinking it was in newark

[acheronist]

i was gonna make a tenderheart post but i just got really distracted by chiasson coming in like Haha Nice Play Fellas ! 👍 while steve and sergei are inches away from fuckin raw on top of the faceoff dot in *doublechecks notes* east rutherford new jersey

[hockeygods14]

Tyler Seguin - Its Always Been You

Masterlist

Word count: 2,455

Inspired by: Marry me - Thomas Rhett

Tyler’s POV

She wants to get married, she wants it perfect

She wants her grandaddy preaching the service

Yeah, she wants magnolias out in the country

Not too many people, save her daddy some money

Growing up with two sisters was easy but growing up with Y/N right next door was something else. When we were younger she was always in her backyard with her stuff animals they were all sitting in rows and she would have this white dress on that was a little too big for her. She had a pearl necklace around her neck that was no doubt her mothers and the white heels were most likely her moms too. She would stand next to a bear that was wearing a black suit and I would watch her get married to the bear. I was in aw of her when I watch her the first time but when he saw me she had been dressed in a black suit and stand next to her and pretend we were getting married. Our parents loved it they still talk about it all the time when our families get together. 

Y/N sometimes would sit in my treehouse and tell me how she wanted her wedding. She didn’t want too many people only close family and friends. She wanted magnolias because her grandparents have them at their house. She wanted it to be somewhere in the country. Even at a young age, she didn’t want to spend too much.

Ooh, she got it all planned out

Yeah, I can see it all right now

I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back

I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask

I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees

Yeah, she wanna get married

But she don't wanna marry me

I would be lying right now if I said I didn’t picture marrying Y/N one day.

I would put on a black suit almost like I wore when we were younger and almost like I wear on game day but nicer. I would have a black-tie on with magnolia on the jacket. 

I would be waiting with my groomsmen to walk down the aisle. I would look over my shoulder and Jamie would be right there giving me a big smile. He would hand me a flask for one sip to get me through this and to calm my nerves. My hand would be sweating and I would be shaking a little bit. I would probably look at my mom and she would tell me that she has never seen me this away not even before I won the Stanley Cup.

As I wait for Y/N to come down I would try not to cry because then I would never herd the end of it in the locker room. I would see both my sister walk in first they both say wait till you see her. I would be a goner when I see her and her dad walking down. Her smile is big and bright It would be just her and me against the world.

She’s going to have her perfect wedding one day but she won’t be marrying me.

I messed that up when I went to Boston.

My first season in the NHL I thought I had it all. I was wrong I didn’t tag to Y/N the whole time I was there and when I got traded to Dallas I tried to call Y/N but she would answer. I asked Candice why she wasn’t answering any of my calls, she told me I messed up and I need to fix my mistake and that’s what I didn’t. I went to her house and every day for three weeks until she would talk to me. When she did start to talk to me it took us a while to get back to us being close again and to where she could trust me. I was an idiot for what I did and I don’t blame her for not wanting to see or talk to me. I don’t deserve her as a friend.

I remember the night when I almost kissed her

Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever 

And I always wondered if she felt the same way

When I got the invite, I knew it was too late

There was one night after a game everyone was going over to Jamie’s house to celebrate that we made it to playoffs. Y/N was able to make it to the game it was very last minute but I was happy knowing she was there cheering me on. As I got dressed all I could think about was she was waiting for me outside that locker room.

“When are you going to tell her?” I look over at Jamie.

“What are you talking about?”

“When are you going to tell Y/N that you love her and not just as a friend but that you are in love with her? Because if you wait too long she’s going to find someone and that someone isn’t going to be the guy that plays hockey for the Dallas Stars and wear the number 91.” He grabbed his bag and walked out of the locker room before I could say anything. 

Would she find someone who is better than me? She could find someone that isn’t gone for most of the year playing hockey and training. She should find someone better than me but I would like nothing more than that someone to be me. 

I walked out of the locker room and I see Y/N standing there in my jersey with my name and number on the back and she could look hotter. I wouldn’t want anyone else down here waiting for me in my jersey than her.

“Tyler!” She yelled my name and ran up to me and wrapped her arms roundly neck and I wrapped mine around her waist and lifted her off the floor. “You had two amazing goals tonight!” I laughed and set her back down.

“I told you if you came I would get you a goal.” I put one arm around her shoulders and while she put on roundly waist. I pulled her a little closer and kissed her on the top of her head. “Some of the guys are going to Benn’s place to celebrate us going to playoffs you want to go?” I ask her really hoping she will say yes.

“Jamie actually already asked me to come and I told him I would but not for too long. I was hoping I could get a ride with you there?” I smiled at her she didn’t have to ask she knew she could get a ride. She could ask me for anything I would give it to her.

I was driving us to Jamie’s house, Y/N was sat next to me singing whatever song that came on. She was in such a good mood today. It was nice seeing her joking around with the guys and laugh with the other girls she just fits right in with everyone.

Once we got to Jamie’s house there were a lot more people than I thought there was going to be. I thought it was just going to be the team but I guess word got out and now it's one big house party. Y/N and I were walking up to the house when I felt someone grab my hand and interlace our figures together and I look down and see that the hand it belonged to was Y/N I smiled and lend us through the house to get something to drink. As we turned a corner I was pulled back around the corner and I saw it was Y/N that pulled me back.

“That girl that tried to get with you the other night at the bar is here,” I looked at her confused there are a lot of girls that come up to me at bars. Y/N rolled her eyes “The crazy one that said she went to school with you she wore that ugly green dress.” I thought back and now I remember. 

“Oh great now-“ Before I was able to finish I was pushed into Y/N which made her step back against the wall I had both hands planted on both sides of her head. Our faces were so close all I wanted to do was kiss her and it almost seemed like she wanted the same thing. I slowly started to lean in.

“Seguin!” I felt two hands go on my shoulders I turn and see its Radulov. I sighed and turn fully to him and great him. After he left I turn back to Y/N and see that she was gone.

I looked all over for her. Jamie ended up tell me an hour later thatch got an Uber home and that she didn't feel that well.

The next time I saw her she both acted like nothing happened. 

A week after that she told me she started seeing someone.

A year and a half after that I got a text from Y/N she sent me a picture. It was a picture of a ring on her finger.

Two months later I got a wedding invite.

And I know her daddy's been dreading this day

Oh, but he don't know he ain't the only one giving her away

I went back home to visit with my family. I had a couple days off. Mom and Dad were outback cooking. Candace and Cassidy were getting the plates and drinks to go outside. 

“Candace I think you got two too many plates there.” I look at the plates that she’s holding.

“Mom and dad didn’t tell you? Mr. and Mrs. Y/L/N is coming over.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of course they are.

I walk outside and see everyone out there sitting around the table. I took a seat in front of Mr. Y/L/N.

“Are you guys ready for Y/N to get married?” My mom asked 

“No.” I looked right across the table. “I’m not ready to give my little girl away.” He’s not the only one that’s not ready to give her away. 

Bet she got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now

I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now

But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best now

So I'm in my black suit, black tie, hiding out in the back

Doing a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask

I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees

Yeah, she wanna get married

Yeah, she gonna get married

But she ain't gonna marry me

Whoa, she ain't gonna marry me, no

She was getting married in our home town. She was having the wedding that she has always dreamed about. 

I looked at the pictures that were placed down the path to our seats I see her smile with her soon to be husband. All I can see is that it isn’t me that she’s marrying. 

All I want to do was to go find her and tell her how I fell but I know that would upset her. I couldn’t do that to her. 

I take out my flask because I wouldn’t be able to make it through this wedding without it. I see both of my sister giving me a look to put it away and I do. I stand up from where I was sitting and start to walk back up the path. I hear my mom and sisters calling out for me but I don’t turn around. I couldn’t sit there and watch the person I love marry some else. I could sit there through all that seeing her happy with someone else.

I pull up to my parent's house and walk around the back. I look up at the treehouse and I climb up and just sit there thinking about the time I would be sitting in here and Y/N would be telling me about her dream wedding that she would have one day. I take a sip from my flask. I look off to Y/N parents backyard and think about the wedding we had when we were younger. I take a sip from my flask. I look back at my parent's house and I see Y/N walking through the gate and looking up at the treehouse. She was in her beautiful white cinderella dress. I could tell she had been crying I hurried down.

“What are you doing?” I ask her leaving space between us.

“What do you mean what am I doing? What are you doing Tyler? I looked for you while was walking down the aisle and you went there.” I put my hand in my pockets and looked down at the ground.

“You came all the way to get me to your wedding?” I could look at her.

“That wasn’t my wedding Tyler,” I looked up confused. “My wedding is supposed to be with the person I love most. It's supposed to be with my best friend. That man that was waiting for me to walking down the aisle was not him. Yes, I love him but I’m in love with someone else.”

“What are you talk about Y/N?” I’m still confused.

“God Tyler when are you going to see it? I mean everyone else sees it. Your whole team knows I don’t know how you don’t. Tyler Paul Seguin you idiot I’m in love with you. I want you to be the one I marry. I want my dream wedding that I would tell you about in the treehouse. I want the wedding that I would set up and have you present to marry me but I don’t want to pretend I want to marry you for real. I want to be there when you come home for a road trip and just cuddle all night till we fall asleep in each other's arms. I want to grow old with you. I want-“ She was talking too much so I went up to her and grabbed her face and kissed her. I have waited years to kiss her and it was worth the wait.

“I love you Y/N. I have been in love with you.”

“What took you so long?” She asked me.

“I didn’t think you felt the same way.”

[trashforhockeyguys]

Need The Sun-3- Tyler Seguin

A/N: warning lots of angst. Again, I apologize. And I had to repost because my tags broke apparently. 

Move Together- James Bay

You felt like shit. Well, you felt worse than that. But the game was the only thing Ella could talk about. If you didn’t take her, she’d cry for days and say she hates you, over and over again. You knew she never meant it, especially when she’d always end up crawling in bed with you at some point during the night, but it was still something you tried to avoid. Not to mention that, even though he would deny it, Tyler always played better when she was there.

But if you didn’t have Ella, you would be in bed, not moving for anything. It would be one of those times where someone would have to take care of you because you didn’t have the energy to do it yourself. But you had Ella. You had to take care of her and push through everything for her.

“Mommy?”

“Yes, baby?”

“When will daddy be out?”

You adjusted where she was sitting on your hip and sighed. They were, for some reason, running a little late and she was already getting impatient. You couldn’t blame her though, hockey was already one of her favorite things. She loved watching the team.

“Soon, baby, I promise.”

She fidgeted in your arms some more. All you could do was wait for the game to start. You’d missed a good part of warm-ups because Ella had to go to the bathroom, and you were so sure she’d have a meltdown over it. But he came right to the glass as soon as you guys came out of the tunnel, he’d been looking for you.

Ella had squealed when he came over and started waving frantically. He poked the glass, right where her nose was, yet another thing he’d been doing since she was a baby, and mouthed a quick hello to you before skating off.

She hadn’t stopped buzzing since. As if a four-year-old needed an adrenaline rush, but that’s exactly what hockey gave her. You knew that, for obvious reasons, she wouldn’t remember her first NHL game, but she’d have so many memories to look back on when she was older. Maybe this would be the one time she’d never remember that her parents weren’t together anymore.

“Look look look!” She chanted, bouncing in your arms as she pointed across the ice, “Daddy! And Uncle Jammieee!”

You smiled as she screamed along with everyone else in the arena. Her little pigtails bounced with her. You wished you could just freeze time for a second just so you could enjoy the pure joy that she was feeling.

She didn’t dare tear her eyes away from the ice during the first puck drop, or any moment when Tyler was on the ice. You were pretty sure she never lost sight of the 91 on the back of his jersey. She always knew exactly where he was.

Once the play would stop, she’d turn to you and start talking about everything they could’ve done better, passes they should’ve made but didn’t, and opportunities that they had but didn’t take. She knew more about the game than you did. She understood the way it worked, all of the mechanics of it. Which blew your mind, she couldn’t read yet, her vocabulary was still small because of how little she was, but she could recite very hockey term with no problem. You knew it was only a matter of time before she started asking if she could play.

“Bad Uncle Rads,” She pouted as he skated to the penalty box, “Mommy! He can’t do that. He has timeout.”

You smiled and kissed the top of her head, “He knows that baby, but sometimes they can’t help it.”

“Daddy needs to score,” She stated, “They’re losing.”

“They’ll make it happen, just wait,” You encouraged, “You know he’ll score for you.”

He’d do his best at least. That was always his promise. He’d score for her. Once upon a time he always said he’d score for you, he’d do his best for you, but you’d lost that right and you knew it.

There came a time during the game when you couldn’t watch them anymore, you just watched Ella. The way her eyes got wider when they came close to scoring. Or how she’d clench onto her bear when someone got hit. Her big smile that would quickly turn into a frown when they did something she didn’t like.

She’d yell at the refs, just like everyone else. She’d yell at the players, never anything bad because she ‘never wanted to hurt their feelings’. But she wouldn’t miss an opportunity to call them out when she saw them later. However, her criticism was always met with a hug and sometimes a little kiss on the cheek.

That was one reason you continued to follow Tyler from Canada to Dallas every year. She loved the team, and you couldn’t deny her the time she needed with her father and the rest of the guys. They’d been her family from the day she was born and half of them crowded into the hospital room to see her. Just like Tyler, they’d do almost anything for her, and that was evident throughout the whole process of the divorce. They’d stepped up in a way you hadn’t expected. None of them understood why you and Tyler were separating, but they supported you, all three of you, in ways you couldn’t have imagined they would.

“Can we go see them after the game?” She asked you, already knowing you’d say yes.

“They’ll come find us if we don’t,” You joked, “Although, they’ll be in a better mood if they’d score another goal.”

She frowned and looked back at the ice, “Bear Bear is good luck. They’ll score.”

You wanted to tell her that you were glad she was so sure. Your gut was telling you that overtime was coming, and that scared you. Overtime was the worst part of the game, you barely made it through every time. You’d told Tyler once that one more round of OT and you’d probably have a heart attack, that was nearly six years ago.

You gripped the extra fabric of Ella’s much too baggy jersey. You hoped she wouldn’t be able to feel your nerves, but at this point, it was better than the exhaustion that was also threatening to take you down.

You almost didn’t see when Jamie got the puck and started racing down the ice, with Tyler right behind him. One fake, a drop pass, and a gorgeous shot by Tyler, and the buzzer was going off. Ella jumped up, standing on your legs as she screamed. They’d won, and true to his word Tyler scored for her.

Tyler searched the crowds and landed on us, his smile was big as he pointed at us, more specifically Ella. She squealed again and waved at him, blowing him a kiss. She spun around and wrapped her arms around you, hugging you as tight as she could. Tyler was still looking at the two of you, he smiled again and gave you a thumbs up.

Eventually, you picked Ella up and started to make your way down to the locker room. You’d wait with the rest of the families, just far enough away that you wouldn’t have to talk to any of the other wives or girlfriends. Some of them still weren’t happy with you because of the divorce.

You understood, they were protective over all of the guys, and you disrupted the peace. You’d hurt him, and the team stumbled for a little bit because of it. You’d thrown off his game and put a lot of them in an awkward position for a while. You knew that. But it’d been years, and some of them were still cold. You did what you could, but you knew nothing would change now.

“There’s my baby girl,” Tyler grinned as Ella jumped on him.

“Daddy! You scored! You won!” She cheered.

“All because you were here,” he kissed her forehead.

“AND Bear Bear!” She added, “And mommy. Mommy’s here too!”

“Can’t forget Bear Bear and Mommy,” he agreed, “I’m sorry Y/N, I know it’s late.”

“Daddy? Can I sleep at your house tonight? I promised the puppies I’d cuddle with them this week.”

He looked over at you. You knew if you said no he’d take the blame and make up some reason why she had to stay with you. He always did that, because she couldn’t stay mad at him. He’d started doing that when you two first separated and she’d yelled at you because you’d taken her from him for the first time. You’d cried for hours that night, and after that, he started to take the heat, even when you tried to take the fall yourself.

“Baby girl, why don’t you go see Uncle Jamie while I talk to Mom for a minute?”

He let her down and watched as she ran off. After making sure that she was safe with Jamie, he turned back to you. You knew he was giving you the once over, making sure everything seemed okay. But he stopped the second his eyes met yours, you could see the worry creeping back in. He knew with one real look.

“How tired are you?” He questioned carefully.

“I’m exhausted. I’d probably be asleep by now if it wasn’t a game night,” You admitted.

“How long have they been off? Your levels?”

You sighed and leaned against the wall, no longer feeling like you could properly keep yourself upright. He’d known that you were going back to the doctors again, mostly because Jamie told him. But you hadn’t told anyone how bad it was this time, or how no combination of meds seemed to make it right.

“A while.”

“Y/N…”

“I know, I promised I’d tell you. But it’s the middle of the season, and I thought I could handle it,” You swore, “I figured it wouldn’t be any worse than it has been before. But they can’t seem to get it to level back out and stabilize.”

He quickly moved forward to pull you into his chest. How many times in the last few years had he hugged you? How many times had you been this close? Aside from accidentally brushing against each other while taking care of Ella, or the family pictures you took every year on her birthday and Christmas, you rarely touched.

Yet here he was, holding you tightly in the middle of the hallway for all of the families to see. All of the teams and the reporters could take pictures of this if they wanted. But he didn’t seem to care, it was like all of his focus was on you now, making sure that you were okay.

“Y/N, you know you can always come to me, right?”

“I didn’t want you to think I was a bad mother. I’m trying so hard Ty, but I’m so tired. I don’t know how much I have left to give.”

You could feel your eyes starting to burn. You’d been taken out of work by your doctors because everything was just too unpredictable now. You barely knew how you’d feel day to day, let alone hour to hour. You were slowly starting to lose it, and you knew that. Part of you knew that Tyler now knew it too.

“Come back with us,” He mumbled into your hair, quiet enough that only you could hear, “Let me take care of both of you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

“Tyler, I can’t. We’re-”

“Yes, you can. Y/N, you can’t keep trying to push through this. You’re burning yourself out. Let me help, please. Ella will love it, and it won’t be forever. Just until you’re back on your feet again.”

You wanted to say no, you knew you needed to. The two of you being back in that house again wasn’t smart. You needed the distance before you did something you’d regret. Something that would ruin everything you had with him now.

But you couldn’t say no. You were too tired to say no. You didn’t have the energy to fight with him. You barely felt like you had the energy to hold up your own head. His hand was running over your back, trying to soothe you as best as he could.

You could hear Ella’s laugh just down the hall, followed by Jamie’s voice. She was telling him about the jersey she’d gotten for Bear Bear. They matched now, thanks to Tyler. He was telling her how Bear Bear was undoubtedly their good luck charm, just like she’d been saying.

“Please Y/N, I won’t be able to sleep if you don’t. I’ll just worry about you.”

You finally looked up at him. You could see the love stirring in his eyes, but you weren’t sure who it was directed at, you or Ella? But it didn’t seem to matter. You knew he cared. You knew he’d do anything for you, even still.

You couldn’t keep doing this alone, not right now. You sighed, feeling the weight pressing down on your chest. You just needed sleep, maybe things would be different in the morning.

“Just until I feel better.”

He nodded slowly, but somehow, he looked disappointed. He took a deep breath and stepped away from you. You wanted to reach out and wrap his arms back around you. You felt more alive in the few minutes that he held you than you had in months. You wanted to hate yourself for it, but you couldn’t. You’d spent a good majority of your life loving him. You’d had a child with him. And given the chance, you’d go back without a second thought. But had you not pushed him away, you wouldn’t have to go back.

Because the three of you would be going home, you wouldn’t be staying at his house, the house the two of you once shared. The house you’d lived in, brought your daughter to for the first time. The house you celebrated her first Christmas and birthday in.

You hadn’t been back to the house since the divorce. Birthdays were held on common ground now, normally at Jamie’s because he pulled godfather rank and said it was his job. For Christmas, if everything worked like it should, you all went back to Canada and found time for both sides of the family. For some reason, you both went to each, even though you no longer had to attend any in-law events. You’d both agreed that you were still family, and it was best for Ella.

You looked up at him, he was still watching you, but his eyes looked different now. They were closed off again, he was trying to shut you out. His eyes drifted over your shoulder towards the group of women. You felt your heart sink again, you knew they were glaring at you. You could feel them, practically boring holes in the back of your head, but you were too drained to fight back tonight.

“C’mon, if we stay any longer she will fall asleep either in Jamie’s arms or in the locker room.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time she’s done that,” You tried to joke.

“I’ll be right back.”

You moved so you could lean against the wall again. Tyler slowly made his way down the hall, where Ella was no surrounded by the team. She was taking care to show all of them Bear Bear’s new jersey, and scold a few of them for bad decisions they made during the game.

She was being pretty brutal with a few of the guys, but she’d quickly turn back and give them something positive. You wondered where she’d learned to do things like that. The guys seemed to love it though, even though they were being called out by a four-year-old, they all had big smiles on their faces. They apologized to her and promised to do better next time.

“I think you’ve got a future coach on your hands Seggy.”

“You’re telling me. She asked to watch game film with me last week.”

“I like watching you play, Daddy.”

He smiled and brushed some stray curls out of her face before kissing the top of her head. You could feel your heart stop for just a second. The one good thing that would come from you staying with Tyler was that they’d get more time together.

“I know you do princess,” His voice sounded so soft, “C’mon, it’s time to go home.”

“Home?”

“Well, the dogs are waiting for you, aren’t they?”

She nodded excitedly. She knew it wasn’t his week. Although, she saw him every week unless he was on a road trip. One thing you’d promised yourself was that you’d never keep them from each other. He had just as much say as you did. She wouldn’t be here without him. You’d never deny Tyler his daughter.

You waited for her to say goodbye and goodnight to the rest of the team. It took five minutes for the three of you to finally start making your way out of the arena. Ella was starting to doze off a bit, but you knew she’d be wide awake the second she got to the dogs.

Your legs started to feel like lead as you walked beside him. You just had to make it to his house, and then you could sleep.  Maybe you’d be able to sleep at least eight hours, but that would require Ella not running and jumping on you at the crack of dawn. All you wanted was to sleep for a week.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” Tyler’s voice pulled you from your trance.

You looked down at your hands, your keys were in one, your other one was on your door handle, “Getting in my car so I can drive?”

“No,” his hand gently pulled yours away.

You hadn’t realized that he’d already put Ella in her car seat. But sure enough, you could see her, half asleep and barely able to keep her eyes open, through the open door. He pulled the keys out of your hand and started to gently push you towards his car.

“I’m not letting you drive like this,” He said softly, “You look like you’re ready to crash already. I can grab your car tomorrow.”

“Tyler.”

“Just get into the car, please?”

You looked up at him and opened your mouth to say something to try and get him to let you drive. But he cut you off before you could even try, “Y/N, please.”

You hadn’t heard the fear in his voice many times before. You couldn’t force yourself to look up at him, because you knew his eyes would be full of fear. The type of fear he only got when you were losing it. He’d given you that look before you got diagnosed, the day you’d told him you were pregnant, and the day you’d first mentioned the divorce. You couldn’t see it again.

Instead, you forced yourself to turn around and open his passenger door. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see his shoulders sag. Regret started to flood through you, you should’ve done a better job of hiding it this time. You shouldn’t have told him. He shouldn’t have to worry about you anymore, you weren’t his problem.

He didn’t say anything else as he shut Ella’s door and get in the car. You leaned your head against the cool window and closed your eyes. All of this was your fault. All of this could’ve been prevented.

“Hey,” His voice was low and soft as he gently shook you, “We’re hom- We’re here.”

Your chest tightened. Home. This was once your home, and now you were coming back to it. Almost like a walk of shame two years in the making. You looked up at the house. Part of you was scared to know how much he’d changed. But an even bigger part was absolutely terrified that this would still feel like home.

“I’ll get Ella,” You mumbled.

“Too late! I did it myself,” She stated, wiggling out of her car seat and reaching to open the door, “Puppies!”

You smiled without even realizing it. You’d almost forgotten how excited she got around the dogs. She’d tried to convince Tyler to let her take one when she came back after a longer stay, but there was no way you would’ve been able to take care of her and one of the pups. It didn’t matter how much you missed them, they weren’t part of the agreement. You had Ella most of the time, which was a mutual decision due to his schedule, but you couldn’t take the dogs from him. He needed them.

“Daddy hurry!” She exclaimed as she ran to the door.

“Are they crying?” You asked, hearing the dogs whining from behind the door.

“Yeah, they do that every time they hear her. Sometimes they mope for a while after she leaves.”

“Oh.”

Another shot to your chest. You knew he wasn’t saying any of this to try and hurt you. But all you could feel was the knife driving further and further into your heart. You could just hear the voice in your head saying that it was all your fault over and over again.

The second Tyler unlocked the door Ella bolted inside and jumped on the floor. You almost expected the dogs to go wild, but instead, aside from still whining, they all calmly crowded around her and started to lick her. After they all said hello they seemed to notice you were there.

“Hi boys,” You crouched down to be closer to them, a second later you were on the floor with all three dogs on top of you, “I know I missed you guys too.”

They were practically giving you a bath from the sheer number of kisses. You laughed, genuinely laughed, and tried to give each of them attention. You could feel yourself getting closer to bursting into tears. You hadn’t thought much about how much you missed the dogs, it was another thing you tried to distract yourself from.

“Boys, c’mon remember your manners,” Tyler scolded.

“Daddy I think they missed mommy.”

“Yeah baby, I think they did too,” He replied, “C’mon, time for your bath and then bed.”

“But daddy.”

You didn’t have to look over to know she was trying to get her way by giving him the look. Another year or two and she’d figure out that fake tears would get her everywhere with him. He looked over at you for a brief second, like he was asking for help.

“He’s right, baby, you need to go to bed.”

“Fine.”

Twenty minutes later, you were leaning against the door, watching as Tyler tucked her into bed. Her room hadn’t changed much, other than her having a few more toys and a big girl bed. There were a few more pictures of all of you on the dresser, and a little Stars jersey hanging on the wall with E. Seguin on the back.

Tyler was reading one of her favorite bedtime stories, but you both knew she’d be asleep before he even finished. She was already having a hard time staying awake during the bath. Just like you, game nights wiped her out.

“Goodnight baby girl,” he whispered once she was asleep.

You suddenly realized that you didn’t know what came next now. Ella was asleep. She was the only thing the two of you seemed to have in common now. You couldn’t even try to claim that you knew Tyler anymore, two years was a long time and both of you had changed a lot in those years.

“You should get some sleep,” He told you once you were back in the living room.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay,” you agreed.

“There are some old close in the spare room, they should be close to fitting you.”

You found yourself wandering down the hall. You’d never thought you’d sleep in the guest room. But then again, you hadn’t planned your life turning out this way when you and Tyler bought this house together. You never planned on leaving it…or leaving him.

You wanted to kick yourself. Why couldn’t he just act mad, for once? He never got mad throughout the entire divorce. He didn’t act mad, he didn’t say anything out of anger. But you could see that he was hurt. The entire time all you saw was hurt. You’d broken his heart, and in doing so you broke yours too.

You pulled out the old sweatpants and shirt that he’d stashed in the drawer. You stumbled back and landed on the bed, they were the ones you used to wear almost every night. You’d stolen them from him years ago. The shirt was worn enough to have little holes everywhere, but it was soft and somehow still smelt like him.

Your eyes burned. It was almost like it was all hitting you now. Being back in this house and being around him like this made it worse. You knew you’d fucked up just a month after everything was finalized, in truth you knew even before then, but it’d been too late to turn back. The damage was done, even if he gave you the option.

It took you four hours to realize that it didn’t matter how tired you were, you wouldn’t be able to sleep. You dragged your tired body out of the bed and headed back to the kitchen. You weren’t sure if he’d still have the small stash of tea that he’d always kept for you, but you hoped he did. If anything was going to help you fall asleep, it would be a nice hot cup of tea.

You rummaged around in the cabinets for a while, trying to be quiet. The last thing you wanted to do was wake anyone up. Something about this felt oddly familiar. How many nights had you snuck out of bed and come out here, waiting for your mind to finally calm down so you could sleep? Or wait for your heart rate to finally slow down or the jitters to stop. You almost wanted to laugh. You’d thought the long nights of doing this in this house were over. Seemed life had a way of always bringing you back.

You could fight it all you wanted, but there was no doubt you and Tyler were destined to stay in each other’s lives. And it wasn’t completely because of that little girl sleeping just down the hall.

You’d tried to break up once long before you’d had her, long before you’d even married each other. But somehow you kept finding your way back to one other, and eventually, you both gave up fighting it. The two of you swore you wouldn’t do it again. You swore it would be forever this time. You didn’t think you’d be the one to break that promise, but you were.

“Can’t sleep?” You weren’t even surprised to hear his voice, softly echoing through the quiet house.

“I tried. Eventually, I gave up and decided to come make some tea but-”

“I forgot that it doesn’t matter how tired you are, you can never really sleep when your levels are off like this,” he carefully moved past you and pulled out a box from the cabinet, “Here.”

“You still have it?”

He shrugged and grabbed two mugs, not seeming to mind that he was working in partial darkness, the light from the stove being the only light in the room, “I actually like it, so I grab a cup from time to time.”

You sat down at the bar, watching as he moved around, grabbing sugar and milk. You tried not to pay attention to the fact that he was shirtless. Or that you hadn’t seen him like this in person in years. But if you closed your eyes you were sure it would feel like it did when you were still married. You could convince yourself that everything was still the same.

You felt the tears starting to roll down your cheeks. You didn’t have a chance to stop them before a full sob escaped. You tried to quiet yourself for fear of possibly waking up Ella. But your whole body started to shake, the weight of the last months finally starting to crush you.

“Shit,” He was by your side in what felt like less than a second, “Shh, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” was all you could manage.

He cradled your head to his chest, slowly running his fingers through your hair. He kept telling you that you were okay, that you were safe and he’d take care of you until you got back on your feet, which only made you cry harder.

You didn’t deserve this. You’d asked for the divorce. You’d broken up your family. You’d been the one to push him away, not the other way around like so many thought. It was your fault, all of the pain and the heartbreak, it was all on you.

“Y/N, look at me,” He begged, trying to get your eyes to meet his, “C’mon, it’s just me.”

“I’m so tired Ty.”

“I know you are. You’ll be okay, we just have to get you through this.”

But he didn’t understand. You weren’t just tired of your health always being in a state of ruin. You were tired of having to go through this without him. You thought you’d be okay, you thought you could get through it because you were the one who asked for it. You thought it would be better this way. The plan wasn’t for you to slowly fall apart.

You didn’t want to be alone anymore. But being here with him scared you more than anything because you couldn’t get used to him again. If you got used to being around him, you’d miss him, even more, when you left, and it would complicate things for Ella.

Ella was the priority. You could, and you would, suffer for her. You’d do anything if it meant she was happy.

“Does she know? How bad it is?” You knew who he was asking about.

“No, she doesn’t know I’m sick,” You sniffled, “I don’t want her having to worry about me. I’m here mom Tyler, I’m supposed to protect her from these things.”

He held you even tighter, “You’re a good mom, Y/N. I don’t think you get told that enough. You’re a damn good mom.”

“No I’m not. I’m the reason she doesn’t have two parents living under the same roof. It’s my fault. She’ll hate me for it when she gets older.”

He pulled back and held your face, forcing you to finally look at him, “Y/N, don’t- don’t do that. Ella won’t hate you. Jesus, she loves you. She talks about you all the time when she’s here. She’ll sit for hours and look at the old photo album under the bed, because of all of the pictures of you. She could never hate you.”

“I fucked up, Ty.”

“We both did.”

You tried to think of what it was like, when you first got together, or right after Ella was born. The pure joy and happiness that was involved. You’d become a far cry from those people. Yet, somehow you felt there might be hope. In a strange way, you felt like maybe, somehow, the two of you could make it right.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking brought on by the pure exhaustion. Or the fact that he still had your tea, and your favorite mug. Or maybe just the fact that he was holding you in his kitchen, after asking you to stay with him because was worried about you.

“We made a real mess of things, but I know that we did at least one thing right,” he whispered, “She’s so beautiful. She looks so much like you too, some days it’s enough to almost knock me on my ass.”

“She’s a lot like you too. She has your smile, and we all know she has your love of hockey.”

“She’s the best thing we did. Planned, unplanned, who gives a fuck. We made her.”

“Yeah, we did.”

You looked up at him. Even in the dark of the kitchen, you could see the soft smile that tugged on his lips. A smile powerful enough to make your knees weak. His arms tightened around you, holding you steady. Your heart started to speed up, even more, you could feel his hammering too. A boundary was about to be crossed if one of you didn’t step back, but you felt glued to him. You couldn’t step away even if you wanted to. He had you, all of you if he wanted.

You inched closer to each other until barely an inch separated you. Your hands found their way to his hair, gently threading your figures through his curls. Your breath heaved. Would you really do this? Could you do this?

You felt his lips ghost over yours and you started to panic. You wanted this, you wanted him more than anything. But you found yourself pulling away before you could really process. You wanted to kiss him, you wanted to touch him and hold him. You wanted to turn back the clock, but you couldn’t.

“Y/N,” he sounded desperate, maybe even as desperate as you felt.

“We can’t Ty,” you forced out, you felt more tears falling, but for a different reason this time, “We can’t do this.”

“Says who?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that, but do you mean it? After everything, do you really mean it?”

“Tyler, I-”

“I never once asked you why, because I knew you’d lie to me. So, I never asked. But I’m asking now because I deserve to know why I agreed to split up my family,” Even still he didn’t sound angry, “Why did you want it? What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything Tyler. You did nothing wrong.”

“Then help me understand,” he begged, “Neither one of us is happy. Just please, help me understand how we ended up here. Because I have no fucking idea anymore.”

But you couldn’t give him the answer you wanted. You couldn’t tell him that you did it because you were scared. You were scared from the test results you’d gotten. Of everything the doctors told you after Ella was born. You didn’t want him to feel like your caretaker. You didn’t want him to hate you because of it.

You thought you were doing what was best for him. You thought you were saving him from a life with you. He didn’t sign up for all of this all of those years ago. You thought for sure he’d end up wanting a way out anyway, what was the point of dragging it out.

“I thought-” You took a deep breath, “I didn’t.”

You couldn’t tell him the truth, he wouldn’t understand. Hell, you didn’t even understand anymore. Your reasoning felt so good at the time, but now it was shambles, nothing about it was good enough.

“We wouldn’t have made it,” You forced out, “How many times would you have had to take care of me like this before you decided you were done anyway?”

“You make it sound like you’re so certain. Y/N, I promised to love you for the rest of my life and I planned on keeping that promise. You’re the one who decided to end it. But I would’ve spent every day fighting for us.”

“You agreed to the divorce Tyler! Sounds like giving in to me!”

“Because you said you didn’t love me anymore!” He spat.

He cursed and turned around, tugging on his hair, “You looked me in the eye that day and told me that you didn’t love me anymore, and nothing I could do would change that.”

“I-”

“Do you know what that felt like? Everything was fine, we were happy, and don’t you dare say we weren’t. You’re the one who quit. I agreed to the fucking divorce because you, my wife, the love of my life, said you didn’t love me. I was crushed, and I wouldn’t keep you in a loveless marriage, even if it was a one-sided decision. I did that because I loved you.”

You were unable to move, unable to think. He’d never said any of that before. You never knew how he felt, and now you were wishing that you didn’t know. It made the pain even worse. Whoever said time made things better was wrong. Time just means it hurts more when old wounds are ripped open again.

“I’m going to bed,” He turned and left before you could try and explain yourself.

But what could you say anyway? You knew now how much you’d hurt him. You felt numb now. You thought you’d fucked up before, but now you knew that you had. There would be no fixing it now. The damage was done and it was permanent, no reversing it now.

Now, all you could do was try and keep the peace. And hope that both of you could find a way out of this.

[tyzerman91]

How You Get The Girl

Request: Could you do a Tyler Seguin imagine where he meets you at the All Star game where you're performing at? Maybe Jamie or another player introduces you?

A/N: So I got a little carried away with this one. And honestly, I don’t know how I feel about the ending. I could probably write forever about this man. He’s just such a fine specimen. 

I hope I was able to capture the idea you had. I had some writer's block today and had some trouble coming up with the story line. 

I’m very much down to write more about this man. Seriously. 

Word Count: 2392

Warnings: Cursing...probably.

Song Credits: How You Get The Girl; Taylor Swift

You had been in your kitchen, in your pajamas eating cookie dough from the container when you got the call.  This year you would be performing at the NHL All Star Game. You spent the next fifteen minutes was spent dancing around your kitchen with your cat.

“Puck Mumma is going to perform at the All Star Game!” You say kissing his nose. “Do you wanna call Uncle Jamie with me?”

You open your mac and bring up Skype. Within a couple rings, Jamie’s face appears on the screen. “Puck!” He exclaims. ���And (Y/N)! To what do I- Hold on.”

“Who are you talking to?” You hear in the background. “Uh no one Seggy.” Jamie replies. “Who’s Puck? Who’s (Y/N)?” “A cat. Leave me alone. I’m busy.” You hear Jamie yell. Then some shuffling before Jamie’s face returns to the screen.

“Sorry about that. Seggy’s over.” He explains. “Seggy?” You laugh. “I will never, ever understand you hockey boys and your nicknames.” “So you must have some exciting news. Puck looks like he’s been subjected to a little too much affection for his taste.” Jamie raises an eyebrow. “So are you going to tell me or do I have to beg? You wouldn’t make Jordie beg.”

“Because Jordie is my second favourite, next to Juice.” You let out a laugh at his face. “But no, you don’t have to beg…this time.” “Well?” He prompts after a few seconds of silence. “I’m performing at the All Star Game the year!” You exclaim. Puck sees his opportunity and jumps down, running away. “What?” Jamie jumps up knocking his computer over. “Oh sorry. But that’s amazing. Then I’ll be seeing you sooner than I thought.” “You will. Are you ready to represent the Central Division?” You ask. “Yeah, it’s going to be Seggy and from the Stars.” He rubs his neck. “You’re going to do great.”

…

Jamie’s POV

“Why are you so secretive all of a sudden?” Tyler asked. “I’m not. What are you talking about?” Jamie evaded. “That.” Tyler pointed at Jamie. “That is what I’m talking about. Dude, you got a secret girlfriend we don’t know about or something?” “What? No.” Jamie denies shaking his head. “See that makes me really think you do. Is she pretty?” Tyler made eyes at Jamie. “Yes, she’s pretty. No, she’s not my girlfriend.” Jamie says monotone. “Can we just go to the rink?”

Tyler was pissed. He didn’t understand why Jamie would keep something like this from him. Jamie felt bad. Really bad, but his friendship with (Y/N) wasn’t ever something either of them were too public with. Mostly because every guy (Y/N) even looked at she was suddenly dating. Jamie agreed it was better if they didn’t go around screaming their friendship to the world.

Jamie almost let it slip a few times. The first was when Tyler threatened to hack his computer. But Jamie knew wouldn’t be able to hack it so he relaxed.

The second time was when Tyler played (Y/N)’s new song on repeat for three days. But it was a catchy song, so the secret was safe.

The most recent time was earlier today actually. And it was on the tip of his tongue. But, (Y/N) let the cat out of the bag first…and on Livestream too.


“Jamie, come watch.” Tyler was giddy. “(Y/N) is live and is announcing something.” “Yeah, she’s-“ Jamie stopped himself. “I mean, sure OK.” “Shhh,” Tyler quiets Jamie. “She’s starting.”

“Hi, there!” (Y/N) waves. “So as you all know, we’ve been super busy getting ready for tour.”

“Well, that’s not all that’s been in the works. The first thing I want to say is thank you. Thank you all for being so wonderful and nice to me. ‘How You Get the Girl’ is number one in over twenty countries. So thank you!

“So I guess you guys have earned it. My next album, min älskade titled in Swedish as a tribute to my mothers family, will be released on February 14.”

“No freaking way!” Tyler jumps up throwing his hand in the air. “New album.” “You are way too excited for this.” Jamie pulls out his phone recording Tyler doing his happy dance. “Wonder what it means?” Tyler questioned out loud. “It looks like you can comment, ask her.” Jamie points out. Tyler quickly types this question and hits send.

“Seggy91, seriously?” (Y/N) laughs. “My best friend calls his friend Seggy. How weird. Anyways, Seggy91 wants to know what the name of the album means. Well, it translates to My Beloved.” “This album is a bunch of songs that have been written, over time, and just haven’t fit on an album yet. As you can probably guess, it’s a bunch of love songs, break up songs, and a couple older songs you guys know but haven’t been released. Like ‘Showtime’.”

“MissBekaBoo wants to know when my next concert is. Well, my next concert will be opening night of tour. But, my next performance will be soon. Really soon. And the brings me to the next announcement.  On January 28, I will be performing at the NHL All Star Game.”

…

“Well, that’s all the time I have today. Don’t forget to tune in to watch.” (Y/N) waved to the camera and then the screen went black.

“So is there anything you want to tell me?” Tyler turned and faced Jamie. “Because that’s a pretty unique nickname for two people to have.” “Uh, I know (Y/N)?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement. “We’ve been friends since, well since forever.” “And you never thought, oh I don’t know, that maybe you should tell me?” Tyler asks sarcastically.

That was two weeks ago. Tyler was pissed. Jamie understood. He would be too if Tyler had a secret best friend, who happened to also be his celebrity crush. Jamie knew how to fix it though.

(Y/N)’s POV

“Are you ready Puck?” You ask your feline friend. “Mumma is excited. Are you excited? Are you the Prince of Meows?” “(Y/N), you’re on in 5.” Someone with a headset says. “Alright. Thanks.” You hand Puck off to your head of security and start the walk to where you are set to enter the ice.

“And now, with the very first live performance of her most recent single, (Y/N)!”

The music starts and you walk out.

“Stand there like a ghost Shaking come the rain, rain She'll open up the door And say, are you insane, -ane?

Say it's been a long six months (Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh) And you were too afraid to tell her what you want, want (Oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh, oh oh) And that's how it works It's how you get the girl

And then you say I want you for worse or for better I would wait for ever and ever Broke your heart, I'll put it back together I would wait for ever and ever

And that's how it works It's how you get the girl, girl, oh And that's how it works It's how you get the girl, girl…”

…

The performance went off without a hitch.  You take out your in ear’s and hand your mic off to your sound guy. You see Jamie walking towards you with Puck in his hands. “Jamie!” You yell. “And Puck,” Jamie adds. “You can’t forget Puck.” “Who could forget Puck.” You say taking him from Jamie. “Because he’s the best kitty in the whole world. Aren’t you Puck? Who’s the best kitty?”

“So, I actually have a favor to ask.” Jamie says taking a seat on the chair in your dressing room. “OK? Why are you being weird Jamie?” You say taking your shoes off. “I might have kept the fact that we’re friends from Seggy…” Jamie trails off. “And well, he's a little upset with me. But I’m sure if you-“ “You kept me a secret from Seggy? Oh, the horror.” You say dramatically and put your hand on your head. “Let’s go. Introduce me to this Seggy.”

…

“Tyler, can you come here for a second.” Jamie calls into the dressing room. “I guess.” He stands up, half dressed. “Uh, maybe throw a shirt on or something.” Jamie says walking out.

You stand with Jamie.

“You need me for something Captain?” Tyler says pulling a shirt on. “Yeah, I’d like you to meet my other best friend. (Y/N).” “Holy shit.” “(Y/N) actually.” You laugh. “But hey, I’ve been called worse.” “Tyler.” He says. A blush appearing on his face. “Big fan.”

“Well, I’m not needed here. So I’ll just take Puck and go.” Jamie says. Tyler gives him a noncommittal ‘yeah, sure.’.

…

From Dallas Stars, Hot One: So are you coming to tonight's game?

To Dallas Stars, Hot One: The answer hasn’t changed since the last time you asked. Yes.

From Dallas Stars, Hot One: OK. And you’re going to wear my jersey, right?

To Dallas Stars, Hot One: Yes, Tyler. Are you OK? Did you hit your head? 

From Dallas Stars, Hot One: I’m fine. No I didn’t hit my head.

From Dallas Stars, Hot One: But if I did, would you kiss it better?

From Dallas Stars, Hot One: Because if the answer is yes, then yes I hit my head.

To Dallas Stars, Hot One: You’re being weird again.

It wasn’t unusual for Tyler to flirt. He’d been doing it since the All Star Game. He got your number from Jamie and kept in touch.

Tonight was the last home game of the season. Tyler had been asking you since February to come to a game. This marks your tenth game since the All Star Games. Normally you’d just wear a Dallas shirt. But two weeks ago, Tyler sent you a jersey. His jersey. And since then he’d been asking you to wear it to a game instead of your normal shirt.

Obviously, you haven’t. Not yet. Because it would only start rumors. But tonight you said to hell with it and pulled the green #91 jersey on.

Tyler was one goal away from a hat trick. One goal. You were on the edge of your seat. He skated past you on his way to touch gloves with the guys on the Stars bench and gave you a wink.

Tyler was getting ready to face off in front of you. There were only 25 seconds left on the clock. The score was tied 2-2.  He caught your eye and pointed to you then to the net.

“This one is for you.” He mouthed.

He did it. He actually did it. You jumped out of your seat and cheered with the rest of the crowd. Hats flooded the ice. The camera panned to you and you were on the jumbotron, You didn’t even care about the shit storm that you would wake up to tomorrow. The Stars had won. Tyler got a hat trick.

…

“You did it!” You exclaimed running to hug Jamie. “You guys won! I’m so proud of you.” “Thanks (Y/N).” Jamie let you go. Tyler came up behind you, his arms wrapping around you. “What no hug for me?” His brown eye shined. “I mean, I guess you can have a hug too.” You say as though it’s a difficult task. ‘Good job out there tonight.” “Are you impressed with my amazing hockey skills? Much better the Chubbs over there right?” He asks, still holding on to you. “Yes, much better.” You agree with him. He’s still holding you. “What’s gotten into you, Ty?”

“Let’s give them some space. You've all me (Y/N) before, the novelty should have worn off by now.” Jamie says ushering everyone away from you and Tyler. “Good luck Seggy.”

“Ty, what’s going on?” You ask. “Nothing. Why do you ask?” “Well for starters, you're still hugging me.” You laugh. He blushes and let's go. “And Jamie just made everyone leave.” “I have something to tell you.” He says rubbing his neck. “Jamie’s just giving us some space. If I’m going to be embarrassing myself, the fewer people who witness it the better.” “What are you talking about?” “I like you.” He says quickly. “Well, I’d hope so. Otherwise, I need to find new friends.” “You’re not understanding me (Y/N). I like you. Like before I met you, you were hands down my celebrity crush. Ask anyone. God, it’s so embarrassing now. And then I found out that Jamie not only knew you but was friends with you.” He pauses to catch his breath. “Then Jamie introduced us. And I am so lucky I didn’t fall on my face. Because really, I wouldn’t have been surprised.”

“Ty…” This might be the best day of your life. And you have multiple Grammys.

“Please say yes.” His eyes pleading. “Please?” “Ty, you haven’t asked a question.” You laugh. “Seriously, Seggy, you’re fucking this up?” You hear Jamie yell from outside the door. “Go away Chubbs!” Tyler yells back. “Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I think I can arrange that.” You smile.

“It’s official! Guys Seggy has a girlfriend!” You hear Jamie announce. You and Tyler walk out only to be greeted by Jamie and the rest of the All Star Players.

“And that’s how you get the girl, boys.” Tyler tells the younger players. You laugh at him. He’ such a goof.

...

“You know what this means right?” You ask. “You can write lots and lots of love songs and make your army happy?” He says with a smile.  “Well, yeah that, but you know what else?” “I might have to get security?” “What?” You laugh. “Have you met your fans of the male variety? They’re going to want me dead.” “Alright, you’ve clearly thought about this.” “You have no idea.” He says pulling you close and kissing you. “You have no idea.”

“Are you guys done with the PDA? Because I want food and (Y/N) is the only one with a car.” Jamie says walking in covering his eyes.

“It’s all clear, Jam-Jam.” You say.

The three of you walk out. There are still a good number of people hanging around the arena. There are lots of signs both for you and for the various players. Tyler gets a panicked look on his face.

“It’s going to be alright.” You kiss him. Lights flash and you can hear the fans screaming. He smiles at you taking your hand. “So about that security?”