#i know it was the fifties but if i want buddy to be trans i'm going to make him be trans | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spideyxchelle · 7 years

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Hi, I'm a bit shy to ask but would you mind if I'd ask you some spideychelle hc with trans Peter? Sorry I'm new in this I don't know if you take this kind of request but I love this headcanon and since I'm queer and I've lot of trans and nonbinary friends it make me so happy to see people embracing this headcanon like superheros (even if not canonically) can be trans and supercool and it's good because trans people are PEOPLE not aliens and Spider-Man can be a trans boy and still be supercool

OMG DO NOT BE SHY, PLS. I have written an MJ as non binary head canon before which you can find here and there is a slight nod to Peter being trans in that. SO I have no problem filling these kinds of prompts. people deserve to have representation in media, to see themselves in their heroes and if you want to head canon Peter Parker as trans then omg you totally should.

I will say that as a cisgendered straight woman I do want to express that this head canon is not my story or my experience to tell authentically. and I recognize that my privilege may inadvertently effect this head canon (I could never know what it is like to be trans or queer), so I’m sorry to all of the trans and queer people that read this if I misspeak. that was NEVER my intention.

if you’re looking for LOTS OF AMAZING TRANS PETER CONTENT I suggest @transpeter

Peter knows he hates the name Petra. his Aunt May jokes that he’s hated it since he was about four years old (there was an incident with a Barbie doll that Aunt May loves to retell). and he would absolutely agree. Petra is a fucking terrible name.

he used to really blame his parents for naming him PETRA of all things but he’s seven when they die and at the time he couldn’t really remember why he hated the name so much. all of his emotions were muted beyond the pain of losing his parents. and he was their little Petra so how could he hate the name then?? the name they gave him??

but when he’s nine he starts to hate Petra, again. the name (and himself a little bit because he doesn’t quite fit in). the little girls in his class don’t want to play with him. apparently, he’s strange and weird and spends too much time with computers to be normal. but computers don’t tease him or make him feel shitty about himself so he’d rather take the computers over the girls in his class.

and he would rather take the girls in his class over the boys. the boys are horrible. in his head, he assumed that maybe he and the boys would have more in common than him and the girls but that was because he always considered himself one of the guys. the boys in his class do NOT consider him that.

so school is pretty miserable.

that’s when Aunt May and Uncle Ben start looking into alternatives. because Peter doesn’t deserve to spend every day of his school life feeling tortured for not fitting in. at the time he didn’t know why he wasn’t QUOTE UNQUOTE NORMAL. he was just a kid, trying to play with other kids. but kids are cruel. kids are so, so cruel.

its during the hunt for a new school that Peter sees Laverne Cox for the first time. Aunt May is watching some show on Netflix and he remembers thinking that Laverne Cox is beautiful. transfixed, he guided himself down on the seat next to his aunt and asked the question that changed his life, “who is she?” Aunt May paused the show and answered, “Laverne Cox. she’s beautiful, right?” Peter nodded dumbly and Aunt May kept talking, “she’s trans, Petra. do you know what that means?” he shook his head. “it means she was born in the wrong body. she was born as boy but is actually a girl.” Peter blinked, “how can she do that?” “there’s nothing to do, sweetling,” May said gently, “she just is a woman. that’s how she feels on the inside and so that’s who she is.”

Peter had gnawed on his lip, and innocently told his aunt, “I think that happened to me. I think, I’m in the wrong body.” Aunt May had nodded, he would always remember her face, and sat up a little taller, “okay, then. what do you want me to call you, then, buddy?” AND HIS LITTLE MIND HAD EXPLODED BECAUSE THAT WAS IT?! it was THAT simple? he could just be himself??

but of course it was that easy. Aunt May always made things easy.

he remembered throwing his arms around his aunt and whispering, “Peter. my name is Peter.”

three days later Aunt May had Peter in with a pediatric doctor that specialized in trans children and they were discussing their options. Uncle Ben couldn’t come, he was at work (Peter found out after Ben had died that his uncle took every extra shift available to make extra money for Peter’s transition, Ben and May had set up their own fund).

the doctor had asked Peter what felt like a hundred questions and then began to explain to May the way things they could as a family progress from there.

five days before his eleventh birthday he started hormone blockers. two weeks after he starts his blockers, Peter tests into the Midtown school track (a middle school and high school for super geniuses) and that is when Peter feels the most relieved. because he won’t be forced to go back to that terrible school where everyone still called him Petra. he could just be Peter. start fresh.

and so when he starts Midtown middle school at 12, everybody does call him Peter. that’s how he introduces himself and so that is who is he. he’s a little smaller than the other boys in his class but he IS one of the boys. and if kids know (and he prays they don’t), they never say. he’s just Peter Parker.

the one constant between his old public school and midtown, though, is Doctor Nedal. Doctor Nedal is his therapist, a woman who specializes in queer children related issues. and they meet once a week to talk, check-in and work together. he’s not sure why he still goes to her when he hits thirteen (he’s been living as PETER for almost four years now) but when he asks Aunt May, she reminds him that having Nedal on their side will make it easier for Peter to start his hormones when he’s ready.

he hits fourteen and he’s ready. they talk to Nedal about starting testosterone and he’s warned about everything that may happen. the increased irritability, the options (pills, injections, gels), the potential aggressiveness, the fact that it may stint his growth slightly. but Peter knows what he wants.

so he starts T. and while his body isn’t everything he wants, the hormone blockers helped keep some things under slightly more control. besides, his aunt May always assures him whenever he’s having an off-day, he can always get surgery when he’s older. it’s going to be okay.

and then everything is not OKAY because Flash Thompson starts Midtown when he starts his freshman year. he’s barely started testosterone when Flash comes barreling into his life.

he takes one look at Peter, sneers meanly at him, and calls him Pretty Parker. and its devastating. some other kids snicker. kids he’s known since he was 12. kids he trusted. and Peter starts to panic that Midtown is going to be JUST like public school. and he can’t do that again. he was so miserable.

but before he can have a full-on breakdown another new student, Michelle Jones, call Flash an idiot. he sputters like he’s afraid of her (and he does find out a few years later that MJ and Flash grew up together because they both had wealthy parents in the suburbs) and tries to shoot back, “I’m not an idiot.” she crosses her arms, “uh, yeah you are.” and that comeback is the ninth grade equivalent of cursing someone out. Flash is humiliated and flees.

peter mumbles a thank you and MJ rolls her eyes and storms off. (over the next few years he’ll grow very accustomed to MJ storming away from him).

but the day drastically improves when he meets Ned Leeds. and they’re instantly tight. Peter even considers disclosing the fact that he’s trans to Ned. he’s not sure how much kids gossip or if Ned even knows, but he still wants to tell him. he wants to have that moment.

he tells Ned when they’re sitting on his living room floor watching Empire Strikes Back, the best Star Wars movie. and Ned grins and knocks his shoulder against Peter, “cool. thanks for telling me, man.” and that’s it. Ned doesn’t push or ask a hundred questions. he’s still just Peter to Ned. and they’re nerdy and best bros and everything is awesome.

and it gets even MORE awesome around Christmas time when he goes on a field trip to Oscorb with his chemistry class to look at some of their tech advancements. personally, Peter is more interested in Stark tech than Oscorb tech but beggars can’t be choosers. especially since Tony Stark is a FREAKIN’ superhero now. he doesn’t have time to invite genius kids to look at his work.

its on this field trip that Peter gets bit. and his whole life goes CRAZY TOWN. he gets sick for a few days after, like insanely sick and Aunt May worries that maybe something went wrong with his testosterone injection, but when he comes out of his sick haze he has FUCKING super powers. insane, something out of a comic book superpowers.

Tony later tells him that the testosterone he was taking mixed with the spider bite made his whole body freak out. see here: eight pack and arms for daaaaays. if he hadn’t been trans, if he hadn’t been taking T, he never would have become Spider-man. it was the mix of both ingredients that made him extraordinary.

and, like any other reckless teenage boy, Peter uses this new found powers to fight crime. he has a television. he’s obsessed with Tony Stark. he sees the Avengers. and he starts to dream that maybe he could be one.

he has his powers for thirty-three days, nine hours and fifty-four minutes when Ben dies. he’s on his way back from the therapy with Peter in the front seat when someone tries to hijack his car. Peter is so frozen the whole time, shocked by the exchange, that he misses when the gun comes out. but he doesn’t miss the sound of the gun shot as it hits Ben. the killer freaks out that he actually killed a guy and runs off. but Peter does nothing. he cries for help, PLEASE SOMEONE HELP, and he holds his uncle as he passes. before he goes, Ben calls him Peter one last time. then, he’s gone.

May is devastated. Peter is horrified. and their whole life is falling apart around them until Tony Stark shows up in his living room with the promise of greatness. he tells him that he likes to save the little guy because “when you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

then he’s BASICALLY an Avenger and then he’s into Liz and then he’s screwing everything up and then homecoming happens and FINALLY his life starts to finally even out.

he lays off of patrol, somewhat, and being a superhero starts to feel like only a part of his life. not entirely who he is.

he hangs out with Ned and he trains upstate and life is great. Flash upgrades Pretty Parker to Penis Parker (which is crazy hurtful) but he’s not so upset about that anymore because Flash is irrelevant to his life. and he’s awesome.

and then, MJ happens. she’s his sort-of friend, then the captain of his team and then one day he realizes he’s been looking at her too long and it hits him that he likes her. he likes all the good and the bad parts of her. he likes her dry sense of humor, her passion for human rights and the way she smiles at him when she thinks no one is noticing. fyi, he always notices.

but he’s not sure how to do this. not really. he’s never really dated. sure, he took Liz to homecoming but that was a dance. dating someone for real is a lot more complicated than just ditching someone as soon as they arrive at a dance.

and he’s also terrified that MJ won’t be interested in a trans guy. which is dumb because lols of course trans guys are amazing. but he can’t beat away that evil voice in the back of his head. that voice is really mean.

so he procrastinates. he keeps putting off asking MJ out even though the more and more time he spends with her at school and at practice and on the occasional outing with him and Ned convinces him that he really does properly like her.

and THEN, she finds out he’s spider-man. more like she tells him that she’s always known. they’re walking through downtown and he’s munching on a churro when she asks, “are you ever gonna tell me you’re spider-man or…?” and he chokes on his food. MJ stands there expectantly while he works his shit out before he finally can speak, “um, excuse me?” “spider-man. you’re him. wanna tell me I’m wrong?” he shakes his head, “no, just, um, how did you know?” “i’m observant. duh.” and his face heats up read because damn, she is observant. how observant, tho? like, does she know other things about him, too? again, he’s never 1000% certain what the gossip mill says about him.

they walk in silence for three more blocks before he blurts out, “i’m trans!” and that is so not how he wanted to tell her. he wanted to gently prod at her about her feelings toward queer people, feel out if she would be open to dating a trans person and THEN tell her. but his dumb mouth says it before he can execute his master plan. that he’s been procrastinating on. really, um, he was gonna tell her. eventually.

or now. now apparently is the answer.

her lips turn up just slightly, “is that the last confession you wanna tell me today, Parker? or do you have one more?” he flushes and turns back to his churro, “dunno what you mean.” “yea, you do.” and he does. he can tell from the way she’s looking at him that she knows about his big, FAT crush on her.

he eat another bite of his churro, sends a prayer up to whoever is listening and takes the leap, “I like you.”

when MJ leans down and kisses his cheek Peter’s her ACTUALLY stops. not really, but that’s how it feels. it feels like he can’t breathe and his life is over and he wants to call Aunt May. he has so many questions about all of the feelings a simple kiss on the cheek could bring about.

“I like you, too,” MJ says, stealing what is left of his churro. Peter grins real big, “you do?” “I do,” she rolls her eyes. “even though I’m…” “you’re Peter,” MJ cuts him off. and yea, he is. he’s Peter FUCKING Parker.

and the fact that Peter FUCKING Parker is dating Michelle Jones seems to interest nobody at Midtown is even better. because it feels normal. because it is normal. because Peter is trans but that is not all he is. he’s a superhero and a best friend and a nephew and a boyfriend.

he likes being someone’s boyfriend a lot.

he likes going to pride with MJ and having her on headset with Ned during his patrols and making out with her. making out with her is great. and she’s super aware of his dysphoria which helps. she never pushes him to do anything he doesn’t want to do and, frankly, there is a lot of other things they can do. AHEM. they’re teenagers. they make it work while being respectful of Peter’s boundaries.

but his favorite thing about dating MJ is the way she always seems to catch his eye across the room. no matter where they are or what they’re doing, MJ finds him. and its nice to feel like someone is looking out for him. because that’s all he ever does as Spider-man, look out for the little guy.

now, though, he has an MJ. and sharing Spider-man with someone he loves is way better than doing it alone.

#headcanon ask #trans peter

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