#i know the site isn't super active but this is really disappointing

[mermaidsirennikita]

I rarely talk about books I actively dislike on here--not because I don't critique books (see: my ARC reviews lol) but because I generally prefer to talk about books I want people to read, but I just have to get Jo Segura's Raiders of the Lost Heart off my chest

Despite the cartoony cover that made me think it was possibly closed door (spoiler alert: it's not, I'd rate it around a 3/5 on that level) I was super excited for this because a) despite my issues with... some things and my general ambivalence on museums, I love Indiana Jones b) we need more "adventure romances", imo.

And it does get off to a good start! The hero and heroine hate each other because of some UST and grad school drama, she's super confident, he's in awe of her competence, the book has some interesting deconstructions of the "spicy Latina" stereotype.

BUT LOL.

*spoilers*

The first issue I had was that Ford, our hero, had all of these insecurities re: inadequacies in the bedroom in his last relationship, which were triggered by walking in on his girlfriend, who he often left alone for significant periods of time while he went and did archeologist things... taking care of herself. And rather than try to be like "oh hey, let's make this a fun couples' activity"/"sometimes you just gotta", he was super SHOOKETH by this. Why? He is a grown man? In his thirties at that point?

And Ford is generally shooketh, as it turns out. He's not just like, charmingly soft boy to Corrie's badass girl, which I can totally get behind. He's also so obsessed with comparing himself to her, his own general inadequacies... and he (the whitest bread white guy ever) actively used his position as the boyfriend of an influential boss guy's daughter to take opportunities from Corrie, our heroine, a woman of color who isn't taken seriously by her field despite her many accomplishments. Including the opportunity he got, a major dig she has an emotional connection to (a weird connection, but still)... when she was already essentially chosen as the leader of the dig. And then he keeps this from her for the majority of the book, including after they begin a relationship.

What???? I'm not against secret keeping in romance, I think it can be an interesting device, but when the secret has your white guy hero taking an important opportunity from the woc heroine, I just??? Especially when the heroine is a Latina with indigenous Mexican heritage and the dig is on an AZTEC site????

And then as a sidebar, not as bad but still illogical for a very logical-seeming woman, Corrie's big motivation to go on this dig isn't the glory or the credit (which I would super appreciate, make heroines ambitious and self-motivated) but primarily because she believes, based on a story her grandfather told with "documentation", that she is the direct descendant of this ancient Aztec hero whose gravesite they're trying to find. Mind you, the entire time there's doubt that this could be possible, because stories surrounding the hero are conflicting--one of them involves him being castrated before he could have children. Then, when they apparently find the hero, it turns he did have a wife and child, but the child died young, so it is unlikely (though really not impossible, who's to say this guy didn't have other kids, let's see if a DNA test is possible before we jump to conclusions and if it's not possible which is also entirely possible, YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ANYWAY) that Corrie is descended from him. Again, this descent is based entirely on stories from her dead grandfather. I can understand disappointment, but this ESTEEMED ARCHEOLOGIST who has a lot of common sense is like? Having a mini crisis over it? And she's super mad that her grandfather would "lie" to her? Like, this is equivalent to a "you are descended from Ragnar Lothbrok" or "you are descended from William the Conqueror". Sure, was it possible? Yes. Is it a great dream? Yes. But she is so practical--I can understand some emotional investment, but THIS?

But also, going back to Ford... the author naturally gives Ford the most sympathetic reasons for lying to Corrie and stealing a job that paid $1.5 MILLION. His mom is dying of cancer, he's broke because his dad basically died bankrupt, and he needs the money for an experimental treatment. It's a contrived reason that is meant to make us and Corrie forgive him. But if you take it at face value, who doesn't get doing something incredibly underhanded to save your mom's life. Artistically, this is a dumb choice and of course it doesn't completely justify his actions and absolutely, he still did a horrible thing, but you GET IT. Corrie doesn't have to forgive him, of course. Even though she clearly will based off this information.

However, her initial reaction, aside from the justifiable anger, is to basically brush off the super sick mom she's known was giving him conflict throughout this journey and has been crying over several times in front of her... And go "Ford, you know you could've come up with the money somehow".

LOL WHAT. WHAT. NO???? He's an archeologist, they make NO MONEY. Could Ford have perhaps done something to like, share this opportunity with Corrie and beg her for a little chunk of the massive payout because he needs his mom's treatment and she for sure was a good enough person to do that? Yes. Could he have just "come up" with the money? NO. And she initially doesn't have the number for the cancer treatments, but anyone with a working brain knows that the out of pocket cost for cancer treatments in America, especially experimental treatments, can be ASTRONOMICAL. And surprise, he's stuck with a $30K bill that isn't even the whole of it, and is basically for his mom to be in a special rehab center. So Corrie feels shitty. Because yes, it is absolutely ridiculous to think that this guy with a job that is essentially academic, would just be able to come up with high-cost cancer treatment money. And she is smarter than that, just like she is too smart to buy into this story her grandfather told at face value.

I just. Hate this kind of nonsense, especially when it comes from an author who can clearly write and struck a really fun tone initially. Like, I'll try out another book by Jo Segura based on that. But this? Was just so disappointing.

[tenaciouspostfun]

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In watching the Netflix "Lover, Stalker, Killer" it is one of those gems that has a ton of twists and turns. The stories plot is about a mechanic that recently gets divorced and tries to find relationships on a dating site. Just coming out of a marriage he tells the woman up front that he doesn't want a serious commitment.

The many reasons that I liked this "documovie" is that it gives you the nexus from David Kroupa's point of view. He moved to Omaha, Nebraska because his ex-wife had family there and wanted to be close to his children. As a mechanic, he had little trouble finding another job; he did want to meet new people which led to him to the dating site.

Kroupa readily admits that he was kind of a geek when he was younger. He asked out his wife who worked at the same place he did. What led to the couples downfall was that his wife began working at nights. They would eventually grow apart more and more leading to there separating.

David Kroupa for the most part is a likeable person; at other times he comes off as selfish, other times he comes off as uncertain about how his life is changing. What is always apparent during the performance is that he just wants his life to be smooth with little confrontation.

Where the documentary/movie gets real good is when a woman (Farver) he starts dating... it doesn't really work out and he moves on to another woman, Liz Golyer. What seems like reality is fiction, and fiction is reality. The plot twists, and it is based on a true story, are incredible. The realization that it is true what happened to everybody involved makes it better than any Hollywood written screenplay.

As time moves on, Kroupa becomes worried not only about his ex girlfriends well being, but his and his families as well. After all, houses are being burnt down, the culprit isn't even seen, only heard from via texts and emails. She seems to have a beat on David's life, however. She knows when he is eating, knows when his ex wife has their kids (she let's her know through texts that she sees her and can get to her).

Unable for the police to actively move against the woman that they believe is the culprit is when this show gets at its best. As a "sitting duck" Kroupa and everyone in his inner circle are under siege and little can legally be done to protect them. As GPS's are used and observance, everyone starts to become in question. We start to believe that the culprit could be anyone. The police question everybody and they feel everyone is a suspect including David Kroupa.

The music, the cinematography and the direction are all very well done. The camera angels, the tense music and the interaction between people makes it well worth your time to view this documentary. Trying to guess the ending is useless, it can't be done; it is just that incredible of a story. More effective in that if it was done in movie form, people would be disappointed with the ending because they would think that it is not believable. The other thing that adds value to it is that it takes place in the Midwest; the police really struggle to put the pieces together and at many times they are dumbfounded over stranger and stranger things happening.

As breaks begin to happen we start to see what happened and who did it. Up until the last fifteen minutes or so, the fault laid on one main character. As it it unfolds, the viewer can only look on in disbelief.

Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, HBO, Hollywood, Apple, Super Bowl, CBS, Vocal Media, Medium, Broadway Bob Massimi, www.triviscompany.com, www.broadwayworld.com.

Words: 639

[p2ii]

hello again !! okay i am SO glad becayse the majority of ppl on the ex muslim tag are terfs which . no thanks ! which also answers ur other question noo i am not a terf and PROUDLY !!! pro palestine ! im js on anon because i am ridiculously shy ;( anyway how was ur day !! -shaan x (ps just lmk if u want me to not send any asks or back off becuase i might come off as super weird or smth idk .. you should expect the autism tho this is the autism site)

Yess it's just a disappointment constantly having to be vigilant in what should be a safe space because some people decided to jump from one extremist beliefs system to another 😭 it's definitely gotten better over the years tho it was... Really bad around 2019 but the current active exmuslims bloggers that have been vocal about trans right (and more recently anti-zionism) have made things so much better and I'm very greatful!

And DW about not wishing to DM! I get the want for animosity just letting you know the option is open if you ever do, no pressure :>!!

My days have been pretty repetitive lately cause of school tbh XD. If I'm not trying to catch up on work it's manga and fanfic to cope but I have been having a blast with my current series of interest (one piece) so it's not all bad! Currently on ḥaiḍ so prayer/quran isn't a worry for me this week which is also pretty sweet >:)

How are things going with you? (Share as much or as little as you wish I won't be offended if you choose not to)

[rata-novus]

Does anyone actively moderate gw2style anymore? There’s a nasty “look” that’s been around since March 20 which contains homophobic slurs, and the sole image has nothing to do with GW2. I’ve sent in two reports via ‘Contact Us’ as well as flagging the image as inappropriate, and nothing. :/

[realmeisstuff]

The Craziest Thing I Did For Seventeen

I like planning things.

Ever since Ideal Cut and missing the chance to see them in 2018, I've been thinking of ways to fulfill my fangirl dreams without sacrificing my responsibility as a daughter and sister, and also my goals as a nurse.

Working in a private hospital doesn't give you lots of extra money for fangirling. My regular salary could only cover my daily expenses plus contributions for my family needs, so I could only save for my most awaited unannounced Seventeen concert by doing overtime, not using my holiday pay and saving my night differentials, plus super tight budgeting.

It took two years for them to finally announce "Ode to You" world tour. And this time, I'm planning on turning my plans into action.

But before that, I had to find ways to ensure that everything would go smoothly: first, is to arrange my schedule, second is to prove my parents that Seventeen is my drive towards success and not a distraction (because it it necessary for me to get their approval and I don't want them to think that I'm choosing Seventeen over practicality), and three, take my sister with me, because she's the reason why I saw them in the first place, now it's my turn to bring her to them. It's about time that I return the favor by chasing our happiness together.

Maktub.

The first one was resolved probably due to luck that I never knew I had.

Since I've already become a regular employee, I was entitled for an annual vacation, but my schedule was December 2019, while the concert was set on February 2020. I went to my nursing manager and asked if my vacation could be moved to February, but she said that it wouldn't be possible, since the date is fixed. But when she tried to check the schedule in the HR, conflict arised since 4 of us in the ICU department, have the same schedule, and due to under staffing, they needed to arrange it. I volunteered for my schedule to be moved to a later date and so February 1-15 was given to me as my vacation leave.

Lucky, right?

In my excitement, I already booked for the flight and hotel, a crazy impulsive decision that could only be paired with prayers, in hope that it would go the way I plan it to. (But in my defense I had to do it, because it's much cheaper if you booked it earlier than later)

-------------------------------------------------------

The second one was a challenge. How could I convince my parents that I know what to prioritize and that choosing Seventeen isn't impractical? The only answer I could find was to take the english proficiency exam that I was supposed to take 2 years ago, but doesn't have the guts to do it. I've already saved for the exam, but I always come up with excuses (or actually somewhat true) that I don't have time to study due to my work schedule.

But this time for Seventeen (and my nursing career), I'm willing to take a chance (although my non-risk taker self is shaking with anxiety).

It was late in November when I decided to book my exam, I was hoping to take it by December, but maybe God knows I'm still not prepared since I haven't studied intensively yet, that there was a conflict of schedule. My coworker already booked December, and since we're on the same shift, we must not be on leave at the same time. So, I booked the next available schedule, which is January, at least I still have a month to study for the test.

During night shifts, if I don't have anyhing to do, I would practice my writing, then on weekends I would practice my reading and listening. Everyday after duty, I would only sleep for about 6-7 hours, so that I could wake up then practice my speaking for 1-2 hours before my next shift.

Four days before my exam, I had to ask permission to be on leave, so that I could camp out at the site and buy my desired ticket. I had to study while waiting in line. Despite the long hours of waiting, I am determined and excited to finally buy my concert tickets. It also helped that Carats surrounded me, and I felt that I've really found my place. We met our mutuals, and chatted with our co-fans. It was a very memorable moment for me.

January 16,2020. Boo Seungkwan's Birthday and also the day of the exam. I was so nervous, and to calm my nerves, I silently prayed to God for guidance, I joked that "God if only the examiner would ask me about my favorite music, I would be sure that I could pass this exam, because I could talk about Seventeen all day". In my surprise, it was the first question for the first part of the exam. And that's when I knew that where God guides, he provides.

I believe that the universe is conspiring to help me achieve what I truly wanted the most. I passed the test with flying colors, and it helped me gain the approval of my mom to go to the concert.

But then 2020 strikes, and it seems that the pandora box was opened. Health threats due to the covid virus was rising, and everyone was worried that it would reach the country.

I knew the gravity of the situation, but I couldn't stop myself from wanting to go to the concert despite the fear. I started becoming desperate when most of the events were cancelled due to the pandemic.

I held onto that hope that God didn't let me achieve everything I did so far, just to break my heart. I already have the concert and plane tickets, and the hotel was already paid, but on top of all that, I didn't want to disappoint my sister, who wanted this so badly like I do, because after long years of waiting, she could finally have a chance to go home to Manila. Also, my friend, who has never been in any concerts (despite wanting to go), finally took the courage to do this for herself.

When Running Man announced the cancellation of their concert, which is one day after OTY. I couldn't help but cry. I feel like my world is falling apart. Without the fangirl side of me, I would just be my pessimistic, melancholic self who doesn't know how to have fun.

As if that's not bad news enough, due to the massive resignation in the Icu department, they had to rotate the ward staffs and place them in our department, and when they announced the name of the "new" Icu staffs, it feels like I've been struck by a lightning.

In my two years of working, I only had a conflict with two nurses from different departments: The girl who spread rumors about me and the senior nurse from my previous area who traumatized me during my junior days. So, how shocking was it that the newbies would be the both of them? I almost resigned right there and then.

But it only made my desire to go to the concert much stronger, because the only thing that could push me to work even in the most stressful environment with the most difficult co-workers would be Seventeen.

I felt so down as the days went nearer to the concert date. I felt that anytime they would announce the cancellation of the event, and I had to cancel everything I booked as well.

I wanted to tell myself that safety first, but the other side of me wanted to see them so badly...desperate even to risk and live presently without fear. I debated in my head that I would die faster working in the hospital rather than to a one-day concert.

I prayed to the Gods, even done some bargaining, so that we would all be safe to go to the concert. I would rather have toxic shifts with my toxic co-workers than to miss this concert. I was that desperate.

But Inang announced that the concert would push through.

*Insert happy tears and fangirl squeals*

I made the necessary preparations, so that I would ensure our safety. We brought n95 and surgical mask with us plus we take 1000 mg vitamin c everyday.

We encountered problems along the way such as the hotel canceling our reservation, even though I've already paid the downpayment, and heavy rains while searching for the hotel, but we made it.

We were able to sort out the problems, and enjoyed the day before the concert. We did some pilgrimage and went to Saem store where they did their fansigning event. We also stopped by their hotel, but just to look at the place.

On the day of the concert, we went inside the arena early, and was able to join the Carat activities. It was exhilarating to be on the same area as Seventeen, and I felt so ecstatic like I'm in cloud nine.

Although me and my friends were separated by barricade while we're looking for coffee, we still had a great time chatting with others.

Finally, we we're allowed to go inside and find our VIP seats. I was so overwhelmed, because of how close it was to the stage as compared to my previous lower box experience, that I couldn't stop from shedding happy tears. My sister was in awe, and I held onto her as I calm myself.

This is the moment I've been waiting for. Not only these past 2 years, but I think that I needed this for my whole life.

I cried once again after the concert. I was so happy. I've never been this happy in my life. Everything was worth it and I don't regret anything.

SepAnx was real, as me, my sister and my friend, cried during our flight back to the province. But despite the longing, we knew that February 8, 2020 will forever go down in the history as the perfect day when we were able to reached goals, and became the happiest fangirl in the universe.

Hopefully, we would be able to do this again when the world heals. And when that time comes, I hope we'll see them, all thirteen of them.