#i know we arent getting long haired five in s4 but whatever this is part of my au

[in-a-slanted-outhouse]

For the THIRD time (without read more because I feel like that’s what’s messing me up) because tumblr is being annoying

May I present to youuuu

Diego secretly asking Five to teach him how to braid hair so he can braid his kid’s hair after they’re born

It’s not much nor is it perfect and I literally wrote it in fifteen minutes but if people are interested I may write more

Enjoy!

—

“Pick a side, grab a bit near the front and divide it into three sections.”

Five tensed as Diego took his hair into his hands, pulling apart the strands and swallowing. Five could see his clueless face in the bathroom mirror, fumbling uselessly with the ends and sighed, pulling his head away.

“That’s the back, Diego,” he muttered, shifting on the stool as Diego’s hands dropped into his lap, “pick a side and stick to it.”

It was a Tuesday- the day which Lila would leave to go to her new mother support group and so Diego, being Diego, had decided that since he was off work early and they didn’t spend much time together, that he wanted to get in some brotherly bonding before she came back. Five would admit that he was more prepared to be having some kind of therapy with the man, whether it be him calming Diego’s fears about being a father or Diego attempting to get him to open up, he didn’t know, but he hadn’t been expecting this.

“Yeah, but Five…” Diego replied, picking up a couple strands from his head and dropping them as Five squirmed. He hated people touching is head. It was a miracle that Diego even managed to persuade him to agree to let Diego go this. “your hair’s… kinda short at the back.”

It was shoulder length.

Five rolled his eyes, reaching up to his left side and separating his hair, “well, asshole, you didn’t think that ten minutes when you asked me to do this,” he took a handful from the front, pulling his bangs out and holding up to Diego, “take this from the front- it’ll be easier to braid.”

Diego glanced between the hair clutched between Five’s fingers and his face in the mirror before reaching out and taking it from him, rubbing the strands between his fingers.

“Aight,” he muttered, looking slightly constipated, “now what?”

Five sighed, eye lashes fluttering, “separate it into three equal sections.”

Diego nodded sliding his fingers between Five’s hair and pulling it apart into three roughly separated sections and holding them loosely.

“Do you know how braid, at all?” Five asked, tilting his head back to glance at the man, immediately met by a blank expression.

“Uh, no?” Diego muttered back, “that’s… why I’m asking you.”

Five sighed, dragging a hand down his face. This was gonna take fucking forever.

“You know this would be a lot easier if Lila was here, right?” he explained, pressing his hands together, “because she actually knows how to braid.”

Diego shifted behind him, “yeah, dipshit but I want it to be a surprise,” and then a little quieter, “and I wanna be able to braid my own kid’s hair.”

Five grumbled. This kid was going to be the death of him and they weren’t even born yet.

“Y’know what? Fuck it,” he muttered, reaching up to grab the right side of his hair and pulling out a section roughly the same size as he had done so for Diego, “copy me. I’ll do this side, you do that side,” he explained, pulling the section into three, “watch closely, or you’ll fuck it up.”

Diego rolled his eyes in the mirror.

“Alright, boomer show us how it’s done.”