#i know we can be a chatty bunch under the right circumstances but social anxiety and paranoia kinda comes with the territory | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

albatris · 2 years

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sometimes I say things like "I'm always happy to answer questions about schizotypal personality disorder and psychosis to help my fellow writers out!" and sometimes people will say things like "hey logan I'd love it if you'd answer some questions about schizotypal personality disorder and psychosis to help me, a fellow writer, out!" and I am delighted by this and I say things like "absolutely, of course, for sure, I'm delighted by this!" and then I never get around to doing it. because of the schizotypal personality disorder

#avolition! paranoia! social anxiety! mostly avolition! n just in general being so.... not socially motivated...... conversation-wise #i really do wanna help but then sometimes i blink and its been A YEAR and I'm like #whoops! that felt like two months. now i look like an asshole #this has happened. a few times. and i am forever mortified #but also its like #well i recently joined a discord server for trans schizotypals n someone in the general chat was like #its pretty quiet in here how come no ones talking #and its just like. well. we are a discord server full of schizotypals #i know we can be a chatty bunch under the right circumstances but social anxiety and paranoia kinda comes with the territory #anyway my point is #*shrivels up in horror and weeps because I'm so mortified*#i never consider myself NOT going to respond. i always consider myself Going To Respond Eventually #then i psych myself out #anyway this is on the brain bc i recently reached out abt helping someone n now I'm like #hahaha #oh I'll do my best but lmao. my track record is not fantastic #like. SOMETIMES I DO GET AROUND TO IT #and i am genuinely thrilled and excited!!!!!#but oh. oh sometimes i just put it off for weeks and weeks and months and months #oh dear #none of it for any particular reason aside from Brain Simply Will Not #it is my own fault but like. hngh

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