#i like the fairy mushroom woods place; that blew me away the first time i walked in

[that-one-weeb-buts-its-the-main]

Hi!! Can you do a one shot of kyojuro ending up in our world and meets reader and they become friends and fall in love?

Of course! Thanks for requesting!!! I had a lot of ideas for this one! Thank you!!!!

Not exactly from around here

Kyojuro smiled as a scroll of parchment was dropped in his hand. Untying and unrolling the paper he looked at the newest target. Looking at the papers he seen a map on the second.

Confused he walked into town, looking around he spotted a shop owner setting up his sweets stand.

"Hello! Hi!" Rengoku called with a smile.

The middle age man smiled turning away from the Hawthorn he was skewing.

"Hey there! The sugars still heating up! But Can I interest you in my special sweet buns! There not typical!"

Rengoku smiled, "I was wondering if you could help me find this place."

The man looked over the stand looking at the map, "hmm...thats the old abonded train station, the tracks are covered in water." The man infromed, "If you want to go there, go down the back alley just down the street, you'll hit a dead end all the way down and take the stairs down, you'll see a fruit stand and turn left going down some more stairs."

"Thank you." Rengoku spoke putting the papers away, then looking at the stand, "how long is that sugar going to take?"

"Hmm? Not to longer more." The man spoke.

"Can I buy..."

Twenty mintues later Rengoku was walking down the second set of stairs with a bag of sweets in his hand and a stick of tanghulu-ed hawthorne in his hand, but before he could enjoy his sweet he past by a child playing by himself- so he was happy to share the Tanghulu with the small boy.

By the time he had made it to the run down station the sun was setting, the water filled the tracks like he was informed and the sitting area once well done was now over run with folliage, vines creating a curtain.

Walking down the colostone path he made it to a small ticket booth, swipping the vines away he seen no one in the ticket booth. Walking away from the ticket booth to look around a bit more he spotted a random mushroom in the middle of the walk way. Curious enough he went over to it- as it suddenly picked itself up and ran off.

Confused Rengoku followed the mushroom as it ran behind the sitting area and back around the far corner. Rengoku followed as he turned the corner. A shadow now in the ticket booth, and the small mushroom running over.

Rengoku followed moving the foliage again seeing the silhouette of what seemed to be a ticket master- the only solid thing was the brooch on the mans hat.

It was silent as the man held up a set of tickets.

"A ticket slip?" Rengoku asked, but got no reply, only a pointed finger at his haori.

Figuring it was the scroll hidden inside he took out the roll and set it on the wood.

The scroll was taken and ripped as it burnt to ashes and in replace Rengoku was given the ticket slip.

Taking it he looked at the slip- he had never heard of any of the stops passed the first three.

Walking over to the now clean sitting area he took a seat, a black cat joining his side as it waited with cat sized bag around its body, some other creatures such as more mushroom people, and flower fairies came to take a look at Rengoku- a human- none the less a demon slayer.

He looked down at the small group and smiled sending them into shock and hiding. He smiled brighter as they came out of hiding slowly- unsure if they'd be scooped up or slashed, but seeing his bright smile they took a seat, bathing in his sun like smile.

Hearing the train coming in he stood up, walking over towards the tracks to realize the water was still present, but filled with small fish and- what he assumed was an eel that pasted by. The colors in the water scattered as the train came in- coming to a slow stop as the doors slid open.

The cat took lead, hoping in as it held its ticket slip in its mouth. Rengoku followed after, still uncertain of what was really happening- but you could say curiosity killed the cat.

Taking a seat on the bench he looked out the window infront of him. Soon a ticket master- no more than the age of tweleve came floating by- two eyes following him as he held out a gloved white hand. Looking at the ticket he handed them to the boy, who took them and shreaded them in his hand processed shredder and moved on. On the first stop- people filed in, a veiled woman sitting next to him with a child in a wooven fruit basket- the child- of course wasn't human, and a male in a kitsune mask infront of him, smoking out of a Kiseru, and beside him sat the cat that minded it own bussniess.

It wasnt till the fourth stop he was left alone- the only residing was the cat. Rengoku looked over and waved smally with a bright smile but the cat never did respond.

Not so long after the same floating boy came back over- pointing to the door as the train came to a stop.

The cat got up as well as Rengoku went over the doors opening as they both walked out. Rengoku watched as the black cat made it own way leaving Rengoku alone in silence. Looking around he found some stairs, traveling up them he came to a back alley, he almost walked into busy foot-traffic, luckily stopping himself in time as he watched people pass by, werid items in there hands, dressed weirdly, some dressed in what seemed to be a uniform.

"You really are a slow one aren't you."

Rengoku looked up seeing the black cat sitting on an on-ing.

"Oh. So you do speak." Rengoku smiled. "I am-"

"Rengoku Koyojuro. I know who you are." The cat spoke, "why are you here?"

"I was sent on an assignment you see!" Kyojuro spoke with a bright smile, "that ticketmaster took my map. But I still have the letter- hey where are we?"

"Modern time- futuristic for you." The cat spoke, "Just do your job and leave. Don't cause a ruckus."

The cat left as Rengoku looked out into the crowd, with a bright smile on his face, and a hop in his stepped out into the crowd, just to be carried away by the crashing wave of people. When he finally got out of the crowd he looked around looking at the letter.

'Find Y/n'

Wss the first thing that stood out to him, he went to the closest person in veiw. A young girl in a school uniform with her friends.

"Excuse me!" Rengoku smiled happily.

The girls looked back at him- immediately flushed at his apperance, "Hi! I was wondering if you could help me find a Y/n?"

"Y-Y-Y/n? Y/n? W-w-what?" One girl spoke a flushing mess as she looked at the young man.

"Hmm..." Rengoku thought looking down at the paper.

"Ah! A Y/n L/n! Or a L/n Y/n! Which ever way sounds familiar would really help!" Rengoku smiled.

"L/n?"

"Ah as in L/n-Sensei!" One girl pipped up.

"The pretty teacher?" Another girl asked.

"Pretty teacher?" Rengoku asked.

One nodded, "She works at the highschool. Shes Mirus home room! Isnt that right Miru-san?!"

"H-huh! Oh...yeah!" She flustered.

"She should still be at the school. She said she had a meeting."

"Where can I find this highschool?"

"Its down that way."

Thanking the young women he left to find this highschool.

Walking along the streets he seen cars and bikes past by- confusing him- but interesting him none the less. Asking for directions once more he had made it to the school, walking through the front gate he stopped hearing windows being opened abruptly.

A young woman stood there, her hair down and relaxed as the breeze blew through it softly. The breeze now dismissed- showed her face, Kyojuro awe strucken by her appearance, she seemed to be the only simple thing in this hetic world he had traveled too- her bright colorful eyes made her stick out- show casing her warm heart and soul as she smiled.

From the corner of her eye she spotted the bright colors of the sun. Turning her head down she looked at the male looking up at her- there bright eyes locking with one another.

It was silent, the breeze coming and going as they stayed awe strucken by one another.

"Can I help you with something sir?"

There it was. Her voice, a love striken arrow piercing Rengoku's heart.

"My name is Rengoku Kyojuro."

His voice sent a warm fuzz to her cheeks.

"I am L/n Y/n."

This was her.

"I. I've heard of you." Rengoku called back, "I was wondering. If you'd like to become friends!"

"A pretty bold move for friendship Mr.Kyojuro!"

Rengoku smiled, "I suppose it is Ms.L/n!"

"we can grab some yakisoba, maybe a beer? Or some sake?"

Rengoku nodded as Y/n smiled, "Give me time to grab my things."

Rengoku patiently waited as the woman soon came down the steps and out the school.

"Its nice to meet you as a whole rather than just your upper half." Rengoku smiled as Y/n chuckled softly.

"So. How about that food?"

That was the start of it, there meeting- they had sat and ate talking along the way, laughing and joking- until Kyojuro brought his reasoning for being where they were.

"A demon train?" Y/n asked.

"It may be hard to believe-"

"It really isn't!" Y/n said, "This is the modern world after all- just if your a supposed demon slayer why didnt you just kill the thing instead of boarding it?"

"I'm still asking myself that question!" He laughed rubbing the back of his neck with a smile.

Y/n ate some rice as he contuied to talk,

He may be hot but kinda childish- or is it dense...

"So whats the plan then? How are you getting back?" Y/n asked.

"Oh." Rengoku spoke.

Well atleast he has a plan

"You see. I don't exactly know!" He finished.

Of course he doesnt have a plan

"Well how about staying at my place until then?" Y/n asked, "I teach mythology and history.So you'll be my living reference in return"

"That sounds great!"

"Well first we should dress you modernly. Im sure the police will arrest you for walking around with a sword." Y/n informed.

"Oh."

Rengoku listened as Y/n informed him on the modern world the two soon returning to her place, he was most interested in the colorized pictures on the wall as she started informing him on where things were.

"Rengoku?"

"Hmm?"

She turned around to see him with a frame in his hand, but he soon set it down.

"Something wrong?"

"No. Nothing at all. I've never seen so many. Who paints them all?" He asked curiously.

"There taken with a camera that links to my printer." Y/n informed.

"Can we take one? You know before we figure out a way for me to get back!" Rengoku asked.

"Yeah I don't see why not." Y/n smiled.

Rengoku smiled as Y/n continued the house tour. The next few days Y/n would help Rengoku get accustomed to modern life, and he'd teach her about his time- simple things she wanted to know really. He accompanied her to school where he sat in the corner in the from of the class- or in the back depending on the time. Most of the highschool girls fauned over him- and maybe even some of the boys.

It was safe to say- Y/n and Rengoku had become friends. Yet that didn't stop Rengoku from wanting to return home. A week into his visit he was still there, and he was missing home none the less.

Y/n frowned seeing Rengoku doodling little images of his old friends and world.

"What do you want for dinner today Rengoku?" Y/n asked.

"I picked yesterday! You can pick today!" He spoke smiling.

"How about pozole?" Y/n asked.

"Is that new?" He asked.

"No." Y/n responed, "it's a hispanic dish. I figured while your hear. Maybe you could try some other cultural food! Fish isnt the only thing out there you know!"

Rengoku smiled softly, "that sounds great then."

Y/n smiled, "how about helping me?"

Rengoku nodded as the two got to work. He had found himself attached- warm hearted next to her. He knew she was going out of her way to not only help him, but try and feel better.

They cooked and cooked, the two laughing along the way as they sat down with there bowls to eat.

Rengoku took a spoonful happily, "It's diffrent. I like it!"

Y/n smiled, "Im glad you like it so much. Now you know how to make it so you can make it whenever!"

He nodded as they contuied to eat, "I was thinking."

Rengoku looked up from his bowl, "maybe we could take the camera out? Go take some pictures together?"

Rengoku nodded with a smile, "I'd enjoy that!"

"Then it settled! We can go out after we eat!"

The dinner was filled with laughter and jokes, dishwashing contained a bubble fight. Ending in the two of them sitting against the counter taking a break. Just for them to get up again and get ready to head out, Y/n with a camera in her hands.

The evening was warm, and happy- a smile not leaving any of there faces. It was mostly goofy pictures of the two of them doing things- just one- as the other one was usually taking the picture.

Y/n intruppted a man for a quick question as he happily agreed, Y/n ran over to Rengoku pulling on the haori he had overlaping his buttonup.

"He's gonna take a picture of us." Y/n said pointing to the man who held the camera.

Rengoku nodded in understanding as the two stood ready bright smiles on there faces as they stood infront of some neosigns.

"There we go!"

"Thanks alot!"

"It was no problem!"

Y/n smiled looking at the photo.

"One more place?" She asked.

Rengoku agreed as she pulled him along, the route soon told him where they were going.

"I figured." Y/n spoke walking down the stairs, "the trainstation of which you magically appeared would be a nice photo right?"

Rengoku nodded, "It would be nice."

Y/n smiled as she found a rock to perch the camera on, "it'll be on a timer so I'll rush over and we can take the picture!"

Rengoku watched as she quickly ran over the two smiling as she held his arm, there fingers interlaced with each others. The photo snapped and Y/n smiled rushing over to get it. Making there way home Rengoku looked at her free hand, hanging by her side as she held the camera in one hand.

Feeling his pinky being taken he looked back down and noticed Y/n wrapped her pinky around his, looking back up at her she walked normally- following in suit he wrapped his pinky around hers.

"Hey Rengoku..."

"Hmm?"

She was silent for a mintue, "nevermind..."

Rengoku frowned as they got home, taking there shoes off, Y/n took her coat off and Rengoku hung his haori up besides it.

"I...Im gonna go print these pictures-"

"Wait a mintue." Rengoku said grabbing her hand, "What. What were you going to say? Before the nevermind. It must've been important."

"No. Nothing." Y/n spoke walking away and to her desk, "We should get these printed."

The mood suddenly changed, it was lighthearted once more as they figured out what pictures to print. Rengoku watched her smile and laugh as he stood over the chair using the back as a leaning support.

"Hey! Thats a good one!" Rengoku pointed out at the picture of Y/n feeding the deer they seen passing a tea garden.

Y/n looked at him, his face now level with hers as he looked at the computer with a smile. Pressing a quick kiss to his cheek he flustered immediately.

They looked at each other, Y/n flushing immediately.

"S-sorry." She apologized.

"You missed." Rengoku told her.

"I-I missed?" Y/n asked as Rengoku pecked her lips softly.

"See I didn't miss." He smiled brightly, "You try again-"

Rengoku was silenced as Y/n kissed him again, this time, the kiss lasted longer than a peck.

Standing up her hands ran through his hair, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. He only responded with his hands on her hips, pushing into the kiss more she stumbled back a bit and bumped into her desk.

Pulling away Rengoku smiled softly as did she, "sorry." He apologized with a light laugh.

She chuckled lightly, her head resting against his, "you...kiss good."

Rengoku flushed softly as Y/n rubbed the back of her head.

"I uh. The printers in my room." She spoke softly rushing off flushed as he followed with a smile.

She looked at the pictures with a smile, as he stood in her doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Hey. Rengoku here are-"

She froze as he was suddenly next to her, a smile as he observed her.

"W-what is it?"

He sighed,tossing his Haori on her bed as he rolled up his sleeves. Gulping unknowing of what was to happen she was suddenly picked up.

"If I want to keep that smile on your face! I suppose I must tickle you!"

"Wait! Rengoku!-"

She was tossed on the bed as he climbed over her. Almost immediately tickling her she cried out in laughter, finishing off his tickling with a kiss to her lips he laid on his side, waiting for her to calm down.

"Want another tickle?"

"No! No. Im okay." She chuckled as he smiled.

Sighing she finally calmed down, the two laying on the bed together in peace, she yawned as he covered them with the white, flamed desgined haori.

"Im glad I found you." Rengoku spoke softly kissing her head as she smiled.

"I love you Ren." She smiled hugging him.

"I love you too N/n."

The two fell asleep in each others embrace, the suns rays of the next day only waking the two up.

Rengoky yawned as he sat up, back pain immense as he covered his eyes from the sun- which was odd as he remembered you only opening your curtains a bit.

"Aniki?"

He looked behind him seeing Tanjiro.

"Ah! Thank god we found you!" Tanjiro sighed in relief.

Tanjiro?

Why was Tanjiro here?

Wait.

Rengoku looked around quickly, "No. No. No. No no. No. No! No!" He cried getting up to his feet.

He had returned to the trainstation that started his journey.

"Y/n!" He called out, maybe you had been brought back with him, "Y/n!"

Tanjiro frowned at Rengoku's sudden burst.

"Hey. Hey! Calm down. Aniki what's wrong? What happened?" Tanjiro attempted to calm, "where did these chlothes come from?"

"No! She was here! She was with me! I-" Rengoku jumbled together.

"Aniki. Please. Take a deep breathe." Tanjiro spoke holding Rengoku's arms, "maybe that will jog your memory?"

Rengoku turned arouned to see his sword on the floor and under it was paper. Rushing over he looked at the papers- photos you had printed and taken for him. Fat tears rolled down his cheeks as Tanjiro comforted him.

[kd-holloman]

Spring Fever

This is my first time doing the #writerscreedchallenge and I have to admit that I had a lot of fun with this prompt. Thanks @writerscreed and @aubriestar for having such a cool challenge! I don’t write in first person or present tense, like, ever. So, sorry in advance for any errors!

Warnings: Character death

“Billy!” I shout after my older brother as we tromp through the woods. “Billy, Ma said we aren’t s’pose ta go this far into the woods!” 

“Quiet, Lenora,” he grumbles in reply. He’s got Pa’s rifle slung over his shoulder, blue eyes sweeping the forest floor. “I wounded the deer. I can’t let it suffer like that. I gotta find it an’ kill it.” He crouches down, fingers gently moving aside dried up and brittle white pine needles. His mouth twists in that funny way it does when he gets frustrated. 

The needles are actually soft under my bare feet. I wiggle my toes in them, feeling the coolness of the earth that lies beneath. “I see something.” 

It’s a stain of red, bright and vibrant against the tender and fuzzy spring leaves of a beech tree. Beneath it, the ground is soaking up more blood. 

Billy stands over him. He smiles and rubs my back. “Good job, Sis. I should take you on my hunts more often.” 

I beam with pride. Ma says that it ain’t a lady’s place to hunt and I can’t say I’m a fan of killing the animals, but I like being in the woods. 

We follow the sparse blood trail for a few dozen yards. Ma’s words whisper in my ears and worry makes me feel sick to my stomach. “We’re really close to Which Grove,” I whisper. My feet stop moving, I can’t bring myself to take another step. 

“Aw, quit your cryin’. There ain’t such thing as fairies. Ma just doesn’t want us to get mauled by a bear. Are you coming or not?” 

I try, but even though the earth is only slightly damp from the springtime rains, my feet feel like they’ve been swallowed by mud. “If they find out we’ve gone this far they’re gonna be mad, Billy.” 

“Then go home, you baby!” He snaps with a disdainful snort. He kicks one of the mushrooms that is growing in a straight line and continues into the grove. 

“Billy!” I plead with him. It feels like a lump is stuck in my throat. Tears sting my eyes. “Why won’t you listen?” 

“I’m not a scaredy-cat like you! Go home, Lenora. And if you tell Ma and Pa that I went in, I’ll tell them about those kittens you’ve been hidin’ in the barn.” 

I can’t do anything but watch as he continues deeper into the forest. It may have just been my imagination, but it seemed as though the trees swallowed him whole. 

                                                 ###

“Billy where have you been?” Ma demands that evening. It’s nearly sundown and he’d been gone since mid-morning. “I was fixin’ to throw a fit.” 

Billy looks pale, eyes a little distant and glassy. “I’m sorry, Ma. I was … I was ....” He blinked and rubbed the back of his neck. His eyebrows pinched together in confusion. “I don’t remember.” 

“He went after a deer he shot earlier,” I supplied around a mouthful of sweet biscuits. 

“Oh, I guess I was.” 

Ma pressed the pack of her hand to his forehead. “Do you feel okay, Billy? You didn’t get hurt, did ya’?” 

He shook his head. “I’m just tired.” 

“Get some rest.” 

                                                   ###

“Ma, I have something to tell you,” I say quietly. “Billy’s been sick the past coupl’ a days. I think he got sick in the woods. In … Enwhich Grove.” 

She gasps and jerks back I like had slapped her. Anger clouds her face, grief quickly follows. “Oh, William,” she sobs, throwing her arms around Pa’s neck. “It’s too late! It’s too late!” 

My mouth tastes like I am sucking on a penny. “Too late for what?” 

She sobs even harder. 

Pa puts an arm around her, holding her close. “Lenora go to bed.” 

I don’t want to. I want to stay up and help Billy get better. “I tried to warn him,” I say softly. Then, I do as I’m told. 

                                                     ###

I’m woken in the middle of the night by Billy’s pained groans. I climb out of bed to fetch him some water. “Here,” I whisper so I don’t wake Ma and Pa. I try to hand him the tin cup but he doesn’t take it. I press it to his lips but they won’t part. 

His fine hair is plastered to his forehead. His forehead feels as though it’s made of coals. His face is pale in the firelight, but his cheeks are cherry red. 

Ma had said it was too late. Is Billy going to die?

I don’t crawl into my bed. Instead, I sleep on the rough and splintery floor next to him. It’s a short sleep, for when the sun starts to paint the sky a pale shade of lilac-grey Billy stands. 

“Billy?” I ask, my lips hardly moving. 

He doesn’t answer. His entire body gives a violent shudder. When he steps, he doesn’t really pick up his feet. He drags them across the floor, ankles bent at an odd angle, as though they’re too weak to carry him. 

His arms hang limp at his sides until he makes it to the door. Somehow, he manages to gather the strength to shove the door open and stagger into the morning. 

I scramble to my feet. “Billy!” I call after him. 

He doesn’t acknowledge that he hears me. He just keeps shambling across the grass, past the barn, and into the forest. 

I’m afraid to follow him. I don’t want to get sick too, but I can’t just let him wander into the woods in his condition. 

Once he’s in the cover of the trees, his odd gait picks up speed. His arms are flailing at his side, his head cocked like his neck isn’t strong enough to hold his head up. 

I follow him, shiver in my thin nightshirt and bare feet. There’s still frost on the ground this early. 

Around me, the birds are starting to chirp their greetings. The sun is peeking over the hills in the easy, illuminating the slits between the trees in golden light. 

We reach the edge of the forest, right where I’d left him the other night. I snag his wrist. “Billy!” I plead, voice cracking. “Where are you going?” 

His mouth doesn’t work. He just lets out a groan and wrenches his arm free. He staggers past the mushroom border. He hardly makes it a few yards before his entire body convulses. His scream rings out. It sounds the way a rabbit shrieks when it’s caught by a fox. 

It makes the hair on my arms stand on end. 

Billy falls to his knees on the moss. His body shudders again, spine arching bending and twisting, fingers knotting into the soil. 

“What’s happening?” I demand, my voice choked with my own terror. 

Billy rips at his shirt and shucks it aside before he falls on his back. He’s bucking on the forest floor, screaming and screaming. 

I step closer, just on the safe side of the border. I want to look away, but I can’t. I have to see the entire thing or nobody would ever believe me. 

His skin is splitting open, saplings are sprouting from the bleeding gashes in his chest. His fingers are growing, turning a shade of brown-grey. They twist and grow, and sink down into the earth, tethering him there like hooks. 

The saplings grow up, up, up. He looks like he’s been speared in the chest several times. Their slender branches stretch out, soft leaves unfurl at the ends. 

Billy isn’t screaming anymore. His breath is coming in pained gasps, only the whites of his eyes are showing. Blood stains his lips, stark crimson in comparison to the green fuzz of moss that is spreading across his skin. 

It takes over rapidly, covering his legs, his face. 

“Billy!” I sob. 

If he hears me, he shows no sign. 

The moss grows over his face, over his mouth, his chest stops heaving. 

I stare at the spot where my brother had just been. It looks just like the rest of the forest, ancient, peaceful. When I study it, I can make out a vaguely human-shape in the way the moss had grown. 

The wind blew a hard gust. His tattered and filthy shirt blows onto the safe side of the mushroom border. 

I pick it up. 

“I told you not to go in there, Billy,” I whisper. “You didn’t listen. You should have listened.” 

“Spring Fever” Ma had called it. A fairy curse.

[readbookywooks]

At one side of the clearing three tiny red points of light-glowed momentarily and there was the sound of a chesty cough, abruptly silenced. 'Shut up!' hissed a third rank wizard. They'll hear us!' 'Who will? We gave the lads from the Brotherhood of the Hoodwink the slip in the swamp, and those idiots from the Venerable Council of Seers went off the wrong way anyway.' 'Yeah,' said the most junior wizard, 'but who keeps talking to us? They say this is a magic wood, it's full of goblins and wolves and —' 'Trees,' said a voice out of the darkness, high above. It possessed what can only be described as timbre. 'Yeah,' said the youngest wizard. He sucked on his dogend, and shivered. The leader of the party peered over the rock and watched the cottage. 'Right then,' he said, knocking out his pipe on the heel of his seven league boot, who squeaked in protest. 'We rush in, we grab them, we're away. Okay?' 'You sure it's just people?' said the youngest wizard, nervously. 'Of course I'm sure,' snarled the leader. 'What do you expect, three bears?' 'There could be monsters. This is the sort of wood that 45 has monsters.' 'And trees,' said a friendly voice from the branches. 'Yeah,' said the leader, cautiously. Rincewind looked carefully at the bed. It was quite a nice little bed, in a sort of hard toffee inlaid with caramel, but he'd rather eat it than sleep in it and it looked as though someone already had. 'Someone's been eating my bed,' he said. 'I like toffee,' said Twoflower defensively. 'If you don't watch out the fairy will come and take all your teeth away,' said Rincewind. 'No, that's elves,' said Swires from the dressing table. 'Elves do that. Toenails, too. Very touchy at times, elves can be.' Twoflower sat down heavily on his bed. 'You've got it wrong,' he said. 'Elves are noble and beautiful and wise and fair; I'm sure I read that somewhere.' Swires and Rincewind's kneecap exchanged glances. 'I think you must be thinking about different elves,' the gnome said slowly. 'We've just got the other sort around here. Not that you could call them quick-tempered,' he added hastily. 'Not if you didn't want to take your teeth home in your hat, anyway.' There was the tiny, distinctive sound of a nougat door opening. At the same time, from the other side of the cottage, came the faintest of tinkles, like a rock smashing a barley sugar window as delicately as possible. 'What was that?' said Twoflower. 'Which one?' said Rincewind. There was the clonk of a heavy branch banging against the window sill. With a cry of 'Elves!' Swires scuttled across the floor to a mousehole and vanished. 'What shall we do?' said Twoflower. 'Panic?' said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival; back in the olden days, his theory went, people faced with hungry sabre-toothed tigers could be divided very simply into those who panicked and those who stood there saying 'What a magnificent brute!' and 'Here, pussy.' 'There's a cupboard,' said Twoflower, pointing to a narrow door that was squeezed between the wall and the chimneybreast. They scrambled into sweet, musty darkness. There was the creak of a chocolate floorboard outside. Someone said 'I heard voices.' Someone else said, 'Yeah, downstairs. I think it's the Hood winkers.' 'I thought you said we'd given them the slip!' 'Hey, you two, you can eat this place! Here, look you can —' 'Shut up!' There was a lot more creaking, and a muffled scream from downstairs where a Venerable Seer, creeping carefully through the darkness from the broken window, had trodden on the fingers of a Hoodwinker who was hiding under the table. There was the sudden zip and zing of magic. 'Bugger!'said a voice outside. They've got him! Let's go!' There was more creaking, and then silence. After a while Twoflower said, 'Rincewind, I think there's a broomstick in this cupboard.' Well, what's so unusual about that?' This one's got handlebars.' There was a piercing shriek from below. In the darkness a wizard had tried to open the Luggage's lid. A crash from the scullery indicated the sudden arrival of a party of Illuminated Mages of the Unbroken Circle. 'What do you think they're after?' whispered Twoflower. 'I don't know, but I think it might be a good idea not to find out,' said Rincewind thoughtfully. 'You could be right.' Rincewind pushed open the door gingerly. The room was empty. He tiptoed across to the window, and looked own into the upturned faces of three Brothers of the Order of Midnight. 'That's him!' He drew back hurriedly and rushed for the stairs. The scene below was indescribable but since that statement would earn the death penalty in the reign of Olaf Quimby II the attempt better be made. Firstly, most of the struggling wizards were trying to illuminate the scene by various flames, fireballs and magical glows, so the overall lighting gave the impression of a disco in a strobelight factory; each man was trying to find a position from which he could see the rest of the room without being attacked himself, and absolutely everyone was trying to keep out of the way of the Luggage, which had two Venerable Seers pinned in a corner and was snapping its lid at anyone who approached. But one wizard did happen to look up. 'It's him!' Rincewind jerked back, and something bumped into him. He looked around hurriedly, and stared when he saw Twoflower sitting on the broomstick – which was floating in mid-air. 'The witch must have left it behind!' said Twoflower. 'A genuine magic broomstick!' Rincewind hesitated. Octarine sparks were spitting off the broomstick's bristles and he hated heights almost more than anything else, but what he really hated more than anything at all was a dozen very angry and bad-tempered wizards rushing up the stairs towards him, and this was happening. 'All right,' he said, 'but I'll drive.' He lashed out with a boot at a wizard who was halfway through a Spell of Binding and jumped onto the broomstick, which bobbed down the stairwell and then turned upside down so that Rincewind was horribly eye to eye with a Brother of Midnight. He yelped and gave the handlebars a convulsive twist. Several things happened at once. The broomstick shot orward and broke through the wall in a shower of crumbs: the Luggage surged forward and bit the Brother in the leg: and with a strange whistling sound an arrow appeared from nowhere, missed Rincewind by inches, and struck the Luggage's lid with a very solid thud. The Luggage vanished. In a little village deep in the forest an ancient shaman threw a few more twigs on his fire and stared through the smoke at his shamefaced apprentice. 'A box with legs on?' he said. 'Yes, master. It just appeared out of the sky and looked at me,' said the apprentice. 'It had eyes then, this box?' 'N—,' began the apprentice and stopped, puzzled. The old man frowned. 'Many have seen Topaxci, God of the Red Mushroom, and they earn the name of shaman,' he said. 'Some have seen Skelde, spirit of the smoke, and they are called sorcerers. A few have been privileged to see Umcherrel, the soul of the forest, and they are known as spirit masters. But none have seen a box with hundreds of legs that looked at them without eyes, and they are known as idio—' The interruption was caused by a sudden screaming noise and a flurry of snow and sparks that blew the fire across the dark hut; there was a brief blurred vision and then the opposite wall was blasted aside and the apparition vanished. There was a long silence. Then a slightly shorter silence. Then the old shaman said carefully, 'You didn't just see two men go through upside down on a broomstick, shouting and screaming at each other, did you?' The boy looked at him levelly. 'Certainly not,' he said. The old man heaved a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for that,' he said. 'Neither did I.' The cottage was in turmoil, because not only did the wizards want to follow the broomstick, they also wanted to prevent each other from doing so, and this led to several regrettable incidents.The most spectacular, and certainly the most tragic, happened when one Seer attempted to use his seven league boots without the proper sequence of spells and preparations. Seven league boots, as has already been intimated, are a tricksy form of magic at best, and he remembered too late that the utmost caution must be taken in using a means of transport which, when all is said and done, relies for its effectiveness on trying to put one foot twenty-one miles in front of the other. The first snowstorms of winter were raging, and in fact there was a suspiciously heavy covering of cloud over most of the Disc. And yet, from far above and by the silver light of the discworld's tiny moon, it presented one of the most beautiful sights in the multiverse. Great streamers of cloud, hundreds of miles along, swirled from the waterfall at the Rim to the mountains of the Hub. In the cold crystal silence the huge white spiral glittered frostily under the stars, imperceptibly turning, very much as though God had stirred His coffee and then poured the cream in. Nothing disturbed the glowing scene, which — Something small and distant broke through the cloud layer, trailing shreds of vapour. In the stratospheric calm the sounds of bickering came sharp and clear. 'You said you could fly one of these things!' 'No I didn't; I just said you couldn't!' 'But I've never been on one before!' 'What a coincidence!' 'Anyway, you said— look at the sky!' 'No I didn't!' 'What's happened to the stars?' And so it was that Rincewind and Twoflower became the first two people on the Disc to see what the future held. A thousand miles behind them the Hub mountain of Cori Celesti stabbed the sky and cast a knife-bright shadow across the broiling clouds, so that Gods ought to have noticed too – but the Gods don't normally look at the sky and in any case were engaged in litigation with the Ice Giants, who had refused to turn their radio down. Rimwards, in the direction of Great A'Tuin's travel, the sky had been swept of stars. In that circle of blackness there was just one star, a red and baleful star, a star like the glitter in the eyesocket of a rabid mink. It was small and horrible and uncompromising. And the Disc was being carried straight towards it. Rincewind knew precisely what to do in these circumstances. He screamed and pointed the broomstick straight down. Galder Weatherwax stood in the centre of the octogram and raised his hands. 'Urshalo, dileptor, c'hula, do my bidding!' A small mist formed over his head. He glanced sideways at Trymon, who was sulking at the edge of the magic circle. 'This next bit's quite impressive,' he said. 'Watch. Kot-b'hai! Kot-sham! To me, o spirits of small isolated rocks and worried mice not less than three inches long!' 'What?' said Trymon. That bit took quite a lot of research,' agreed Galder, especially the mice. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes . . .' He raised his arms again. Trymon watched him, and licked his lips distractedly. The old fool was really concentrating, bending his mind entirely to the Spell and hardly paying any attention to Trymon. Words of power rolled around the room, bouncing off the walls and scuttling out of sight behind shelves and jars. Trymon hesitated. Galder shut his eyes momentarily, his face a mask of ecstacy as he mouthed the final word. Trymon tensed, his fingers curling around the knife again. And Galder opened one eye, nodded at him and sent a sideways blast of power that picked the younger man up and sent him sprawling against the wall.