#i like these two. if i think about it too hard i'll start eating drywall.

[god-was-silent]

Can u draw an Edgar and AM interaction pretty please 🥺

"DO YOU THINK WE NEED MORE CHAMPAGNE?"

the sheer difference between the narratives of "I WANT TO" and "NEVER FOR ME"...like they want. for perhaps different reasons in essence, of course...but god do they want, and terribly so...

[ikeafleshlight]

my mate had her first breakup less than a week ago. it didn't teach me shit. currently trying my VERY best to make sure she doesn't get too attached to another guy. he's my age. my mate's a year younger than you.

it was weird. it'a the first time i've ever seen it so close. i've never really had a friend like her before. physically there and just as weird as i am. two borderlines causing our nation to need financial compensation.

i jokingly threatened i'd text you if she started dating him. she sounded hurt. like you're the worst that has ever happened to me. and that's funny 'cause she's seen me have a psychosis and also be in the ward. maybe i looked very cool doing it. i did have dyed hair and dead eyes. still do. maybe being unmedicated made me hotter.. thoughts..

i don't stalk your socials. haven't in a long ass while. well the tumblr doesn't count. it's tumblr. hey- i even blocked your Spotify! that's something. i'm not going to cross the boundaries. i'll stop looking at the homer ass pfp in wonder. also.. v good music taste.

sometimes i wish we could just talk. no strings attached. no one but us would know. and i'd finally be able to hear your perspective on things again. i know it's bad but i wish we could just talk things out. clear things out. hit it and quit it. no strings attached.

i don't know if you're still with him but i hope he's doing better and is treating you good. i choose to just assume that. it feels better to imagine you loved and cared for. by the way, Project Zomboid? so good. i died very quickly and maybe cried a bit. in a manly way. so manly. with a little shriek at the end.

it's hard to like other people. i don't compare them to you. but i do compare the way i'm feeling. i don't know.. there was this one girl. Linda. she was sweet, helpful and had an admirable perspective.

she was deported.

yeah that was a little weird. maybe a sign i should let the whole crush/love thing go. it's just not as interesting without the way you made me snort.

i had a dream a few months back that you moved here. and i took you home and we just talked. it sucked a bit to wake up. i know it's bad that i still feel this way. but i don't want to feel bad about that. there are other things to regret. i don't regret ever loving you. and god how good it felt to love you. with every cell of my fucking being.

i think i'm scared you'll forget me. but i also really hope you will. be fully moved on. have that wall down and not even remember my name. the thought is painful but it also makes me smile.

so pissed and petty i'll never get to show you my apartment or who i am now. but hey.. in another life, eh? no, not really. i'm glad i had you in this one. and yeah, sometimes i itch with how much i miss you, but that's fine. just biology and psychology rawdogging. idk. science words.

i'll never be able to be your guy friend. that makes me want to eat drywall. really rip into that shit with me teef.

do you ever think of me? probably not. i think of you mostly when drama happens. did you hear about the Watcher thing? so insanely hilarious and also sad.

i know you won't see this. random people probably will. i guess i should be talking to them instead.

hey, there's still girl. i don't know her anymore but i used to. the way she talks about the world.. her perspective on things - it makes you care for the world so much more. and her humor? it hurts how much you laugh. she's the entire field of vegitation around that large fucking tree on a sunny day. running to that tree is what it's like to come back to her. video it and call it pure cinema. don't be an ass to her if you ever meet her. and you will know when it's her. she'll take your attention away fron whatever you'll be doing, and you'll instinctively want to get her attention. that's how i met her. and that's been every day since.

yeah take your meds if you're mentally ill. don't be an asshole. go to therapy. don't hold childhood grudges. and don't tell your friends how you feel! they'll make you do dumb things for your mental health. grr grrr woff why the FUCK was i talking about things when i was episoding i shouldvr been smocking crack fucking fucc

anyways

:)

yeah. well this sucks.