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#i listened to wolf 359 pod a ton while studying for the math 31 final so having that association again obvioisly pulled up memories
silverandebony
·
1 year
Text
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#today i started thr math 31 course again (i did it previously in high school but now i'm upgrading to hopefully get a better mark)
#and while doing the preview/review questions i was like ah! i will listen to music! so i pulled up the wolf 359 soundtrack because that's
#what i have on my phone! and that was a mistake
#i listened to wolf 359 pod a ton while studying for the math 31 final so having that association again obvioisly pulled up memories
#and i fucking miss my friend so much
#we were in math 31 together (it was literally our Only class together the whole time we were in high school) amd so we hung out while
#studying! and i listened to wolf 359 while studying! and now starting it again and listening to wolf 359 music is like
#friend where are you you are supposed to be here with me
#between not seeing each other in school every day anymore and the pandemic and them moving to bc with their partner and
#both of us being adhd we fell out of touch even though we were each other's best friend
#the last time i saw them in person was christmas a year or too ago when we were able to sit and talk for a bit and exchange presents
#we couldn't even hug because we were both concerned about covid. my family doesn't really do touch so thr last time i got to hug someone
#was when i went to visit my friend thr february before the pandemic hit
#and i mean we kept in touch for a little ehile but thrn we both fell off and were slow to respond to each other when we Did message
#the last time we did more than one consecutive message to each other it was so... weird. they spoke like i was any regular person
#not... me; in a way if that makes sense. like there was a sense of distence that'd never been there before
#this christmas and their birthday i've wished them happy holidays and birthday and those they responded to but neither of us took
#it farther; i messaged them today asking if they would be interested in us setting up a time to talk and catch up again and i haven't
#heard back from them yet
#i just miss them so fucking much
#and i'm terrified i've lost them
#i hope they're as healthy and happy as they can be wherever they are and whoever they're with
#but i just want to talk normally with them and catch up and be friends like we were
#i want that so fucking badly
#a you're not going to see this because you're not on tumblr or at least you weren't before and you don't follow me
#but i love you so much and i miss you and i hope you're well
#i want things to be normal again. i want to be able to go visit you and not have to worry about covid. i want to have never fallen out
#of touch with you. i want to tell you about all the new things in my life and hear you tell me the new things in yours
#i want you to take the time in the middle.of your anniversary dinner to call me to ask about thr long term effects of cannibalism just like
#you did before. i want to be able to spend time just existing in thr same room as you. i love you. i love you. i love you.
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