#i literally ghosted y’all and i feel so bad 🥲 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

myrequestblog · 6 months

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👻 x y/n plzzz

No energy for anything but incorrect quotes

enjoy 🥲

Y/N: Just think about this! I’m your hottest friend. Y/N: No, that’s Ash… I’m your nicest friend. Y/N: No, Sal... I’m your friend!

Ash: Larry is not allowed to decide which one of us is the chosen one.

Todd, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Y/N: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Ash: I personally was created in a lab. Sal: I just straight up spawned lol.

Larry: Did you know spiders can hold 8 guns at once? Todd: How does it WALK?? Larry: Larry: Did you know spiders can hold 7 guns at once?

Y/N: Get in the Halloween spirit and make a ghost! Sal: Already done. Todd: That’s called murder and I heard somewhere that it was illega- WHAT-

Y/N: Okay, two person huddle. Sal: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug. -

Ash: Why do I always try to tell people we're cool? We are so very uncool.

Larry, to the Squad: If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! *silence* Larry: Damn, y’all depressed as fuck! Sal: You didn’t clap either- Larry: SHUT UP!

Y/N: So, what's for dinner? Ash, staring at the food she burnt: Regret.

Larry: Todd! This soup is flaccid! Todd: LITERALLY WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS MEAN?!

Larry: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn’t see their reflection? Ash: I’ve never considered it but you’re really shining light on what’s probably a very serious issue.

Ash: Y/N... Y/N: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

Todd: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. Y/N: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Larry: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? Todd, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

Ash, about Y/N: They're covered in blood again. Why is it they're always covered in blood? Larry: Well, it looks like it's their own blood this time.

Y/N: Hey Todd. Todd: *punches Y/N in the stomach* Y/N: What the fuck? Todd: You are one of my very best friends. And I cannot stand by and watch you throw away your life like this. You're too young....YOU'RE TOO BEAUTIFUL! Y/N: What the fuck are you talking about? Todd: I'm talking about the baby that's growing inside of your belly right now. Sal: See ya! *leaves* Y/N: I'm not pregnant! Todd: Well, not after that punch you're not. I've been taking muay thai classes. Y/N: I was never pregnant, Todd! Todd: Are... you sure? Y/N: Yes I'm fucking sure! Larry: I'm sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here? Todd: Oh, I found this positive pregnancy test and— Larry: *punches Y/N in the stomach* Y/N: AW, MOTHERFU--

Ash: What do we say when making bread? Y/N, glumly: That's the dough rising. Ash: And what do we NOT say? Larry, sadly: That's the yeast fucking.

Larry: I literally cannot believe I let you talk me into this. Y/N: I literally said “I have an idea,” and you just went along with it without question.

Y/N, making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce. Todd: Hey, do you take constructive criticism? Y/N: I absolutely fucking do not.

Larry: If you kill me, my teeth only have a 2% drop rate. Todd: What? Larry: Good luck.

Larry and Y/N are fighting* Todd, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! *Larry and Y/N start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

Todd: I've been expecting you, Sal. Sal: How did you do that without turning around? Todd: Let's just say the first few people I did that to were not you.

Y/N: What type of dog is this? Todd: That’s a tortoise.

Y/N: You know what your problem is? Ash: I only have one?

Y/N:

Ash:

Y/N: I was going to do the “you’re cute nobody ever tells you to shut your pie hole” thing but now I have an urge to comfort you.

Sal: Damn, the power went out. Y/N: Don’t worry, I got this. Y/N: *stomps foot* Sal: What-? Y/N: *Sketchers light up*

Larry: COOOOL!

Larry: Todd, we're hungry! Y/N: Todd! What's for dinner? Sal: We're hungry, Todd! Todd, frying a bottle of ketchup over the stove: *screams*

Ash: I haven't seen Y/N and Larry for fifteen minutes now. *Outside a nearby window, a car without a driver inside is seen rolling down a driveway, with Y/N and Larry running after it in a panic. Ash doesn't look outside at all.* Ash: That probably means they're getting into trouble.

Ash: Where are my fucking keys? Larry: Ash, Y/N is around, can you say it a little nicer? Ash: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!

Ash: I just ended a five year relationship. Y/N: Oh no, are you okay? Ash: It's okay, it wasn't mine.

Larry, admiring a sleeping Y/N:You’re so cute. Y/N, sleepily: I could beat your ass. Larry, lovingly: I know.

Ash: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! Larry: You should say something else.

Larry: Why is Y/N crying? Ash: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and- Y/N: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY! Larry: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say- Y/N: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH! Larry: NOOOOOOOOO!

Y/N, looking at their reflection:Now, that's rubbish. Who's that supposed to be? Sal: Well, that's you. Y/N: Me?! Is that what I look like? Sal: You don't know? Y/N: Busy day.

Larry: Do I sound smart, or am I smart? Todd: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest.

Larry: Adulting is hard. Larry: How do I quit? Todd: Time travel. Sal: Die.

Ash: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed. Ash: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it. Ash: But who's to say. Larry: I think France isn't real. Y/N: Larry, you've been to France. Larry: And???

Larry: Here you go, Y/N, a nice hot cup of coffee! Y/N: It's cold. Larry: A nice cup of coffee. Y/N: It's horrible! Larry: Cup of coffee. Y/N: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Larry: C U P.

Y/N: Dom or sub? Sal: I guess Domino's, since I don't go to Subway that much. Don't see why you'd put them in the same category though.

Y/N (brainstorming ideas for pranking Larry): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost? Todd: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful. Y/N: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that? Todd: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Y/N.

Sal, skipping rocks on a lake with Y/N: It’s such a beautiful evening. Y/N: Yeah, it is. Y/N: *whispering* Take that you fucking lake.

Y/N: I have issues. Larry: Finally, you admit it! The first step to redemption is accept- Y/N: With you.

Ash: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween? Larry: Y/N is the scariest thing I could think of! Y/N: Larry told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

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