#i literally placed an order for one with like a. tighting mechanism thingy

[uraniumglassgirl]

i cut my hair and the bonnet fits again i actually feel nuts

[pepperonitimeline]

There is an interesting emphasis on timelines in Steven Universe

but like. Why?

Hypothesis: Steven Universe is made up of multiple timelines, but shown in an order that makes the events seem linear. read part 2 here!

I'm not the first person to speculate this at all. A lot of this stuff has been pointed out by @dogcopter​ @arrozbrillante​ @stevenutheories and many others on various platforms!

I just gathered the most conspicuous "evidence" into 1 post. If you’re interested in SU theory and analysis you should check out their blogs. :o) This was as short as I could make it..

And a big thank you to @love-takes-work for her podcast summaries!!! 

So, most ostensibly there’s Garnet, who can see multiple futures. In Pool Hopping she begins to call her visions timelines specifically.

Garnet: In this timeline, we do the opposite of that. Hey, you! Have a pizza!

Steven: Hey, Vidalia's house is around here. Let's bring her the last pie.

Garnet: Now, that would be nice. She must be upset that her son was taken into space by those Homeworld Gems. (referring to the events of I Am My Mom)

Steven: You mean Onion? He isn't in space. He's right over there. *points*

Garnet: Sorry, I-I must be thinking of a different timeline.

-

Garnet: My bad. I was sure we were in the pepperoni timeline.

-

Garnet: It's important to keep in mind that all these horrible things did happen to you in alternate timelines. Safety is fun.

In Steven and The Stevens:

Yeah

It was confirmed on the podcast that the Steven we see from that episode on is a different Steven than the one from episodes 1-21. In “The Fantasy of Steven Universe” Sugar explains:

"I think, early on, we knew for sure what we wanted to do was to create episodes that feel self-contained but give you a new piece of information or change the characters fundamentally. So, Steven and the Stevens, is tight but Steven does change fundamentally after having that experience. He's not the same- in THAT case he's LITERALLY not the same character..."

It’s muffled because they're all laughing but right after they say this Matt Burnett goes “He died.” 

Link to the episode

Love-takes-work also has a text summary of the episode

But something I haven't seen discussed very much is the time travel chase scene. Granted it’s very blink-and-you’ll miss it, there are some Stevens who witness the other Steven’s fighting but that don’t end up in the Sea Shrine at the end.

Way back in 2015 @stevenutheories already did the math as to how many alternate timelines may have stemmed from the time shenanigans: 3 to 5. Not counting the original one who is definitively gone. 

Technically quantum mechanics don’t work like that and those Stevens should have been Thanos’d too. I’m not going to pretend I understand physics, that is just what I’ve been told by someone who does. But then again the magic time thingy wasn’t bound by rules of real-life physics in the first place… so ??

Let’s cross-examine SATS’ accompanying KBCW post.

“At any given moment, if you asked me what I was thinking about, the answer would be one of two things: katana swords, or THE POSSIBILITY OF ALTERNATE TIMELINES RUNNING PARALLEL TO OUR OWN!

Proving the existence of these timelines can be pretty tricky, even for a seasoned paranormal investigator such as myself.  An inter-temporal incursion caused by the momentary weakening of the time-space continuum doesn’t really photograph well.  And all the cross dimensional time travelers I know don’t want to go on the record about their experiences.  Frankly, the only thing I can submit as evidence of alternate timelines is the fact that THEY ARE PROBABLY JUST SO COOL AND AWESOME THAT THEY HAVE TO BE REAL.

Think about it!  What about a universe where that asteroid missed Earth and we had DINOSAURS for pets instead of dogs?  Or a universe where someone was like “Hey, zeppelins are way cooler than planes, let’s just do that!”  Or a universe where AN ALTERNATE VERSION OF ME CAN GROW A FULL BEARD?!  What an amazing life that Ronaldo must have… in THIS stupid reality I have a really hard time getting my moustache to connect to the rest of my facial hair and it’s incredibly frustrating.”

KBCW and Ronaldo’s commentary in general are usually half-right. Like the “Polymorphic Sentient Rocks are aliens who want to hollow out the earth… to make it lighter so they can transport it back to their star system” thing.

I can't help but think the "Dinosaurs for pets instead of dogs" is a reference to the live action Super Mario Bros. movie- where the meteor that killed the dinosaurs sent them to a parallel universe instead, causing mammals to go instinct in said universe. (Don’t know about the zeppelins.)

And then, and THEN there’s Keep Beach City Safe, KBCW’s more obscure rival blog run by (most likely) Onion under the pseudonym "The Observer". Apparently he’s planted cameras all over town to record Steven’s adventures. There's also a "Recruiter" and second mystery narrator calling themselves "Marco Díez", it's a whole thing,

Assuming it’s real, here’s one of the posts I think are the most relevant.

“I have been on zero gem hunts over the years, and what i have learned over the years is: always be prepared for anything, and everything. Connie’s already knows that and this her first mission. I, wasn’t so fortunate on my first mission. It was a crisp Autumn morning, - with notes of cinnamon in the air. I was the mountains, the air temperature, humidity and level elevation levels, were perfect.

Then, I noticed the creature, it was charging me. I tried to evade the gem monster, but it just kept on coming, and coming! There was no escape! And then- Wait! I just remembered. I never been on a gem hunt! So where did I get that story from?”

This was posted on August 1st alongside Gem Hunt… and the day after the Greg The Babysitter post, which was deleted earlier this year, right after people started interacting with it again.

Being a Babysitter is hard, especially if your Greg Universe. This guy, in the picture above me. Wait did I just become self aware? Hey, I did! Haha, I always knew I was more to me than just a narrator. Actually this is the first time I thought about, Because I'm self aware baby! Woohoo, yeah! Wait, what was I talking about? Ah yes, Gregory. So this Greg guy,Has to Babysit this cool baby, because he owes her for letting him mooch off her. And Greg, is like totally irresponsible, he some how lets the baby climb a Ferris Wheel. How does that even happen? This dude is so not getting payed. And what's up with his hair!?!

So here it is, another story, told by Greg, about his past self. I wonder how many times I started a paragraph with the word so. And when he was telling this story, we got some clues that could finally tell use when all of this started. We know about the gems and what happened  thousands of years ago, but we don't know about the hems and  what happened thousands of years ago. They wee being very vague about the whole thing. Almost intentionally, well it was obsessively intentional.

?

There are subtle inconsistencies in Beach City's layout. ("The Observer" points this out, too.)

Remember Danny’s? In Bubble Buddies and Joking Victim, there’s a shop named Danny’s Salt Water Taffy.

Then in Watermelon Steven it’s gone.

As for a prop: Chaaaaps used to just be Chips

That’s from Monster Buddies, the episode right after Steven and The Stevens.

It's just as likely someone on the show simply thought the background/chips looked a little too busy or whatever. But re-doing stuff costs a lot of time and money, yknow? Neither of which is the animation industry very generous about. Did you know even props have model sheets?

Of course it could just be another brand of chips. Maybe Utz got involved somehow.

Lastly I want to highlight a quote from a Rebecca Sugar interview regarding SU ending.

“The story is continuing off screen and I do know what happens next, at least in certain timelines, for the characters,” Sugar says. “But I would have to decide how and when I’d want to dig into that, or if it’s best to give them their privacy.”

yeah so like what the fuck

[milldawg]

COMPLETE OVERWATCH COSPLAY GUIDE: PART I

Overwatch has some pretty slick character design, so it's no surprise that fans of the game love to cosplay its colorful cast. But newer cosplayers often have trouble figuring out where to start. As an experienced Overwatch cosplayer myself(1), I often get asked a lot of the same questions: What materials do I need? Which tools are the best? Do I need to be a skilled artist? How much will this all cost?

Wonder no more, newbies! I've put together this comprehensive guide to answer all of these questions in one convenient location. If you love playing Overwatch and want to cosplay as one of its amazing characters, look no further! After reading this four-part guide, you'll be able to whip up a convincing and impressive cosplay for any one of Overwatch's 24 unique heroes -- without breaking the bank.

In Part I, I'll teach you how to cosplay Overwatch's seven "Offense" heroes.

SOLDIER: 76

Soldier is a fan favorite(2), and he's quite easy to cosplay. First, get some ski goggles and paint the lenses red. It's OK if you can't see out of them; we'll fix that later(3). Then get one of those surgeon's masks and paint it black. Next, get a jacket. Any jacket will do. Wear a goddamn poncho if you want. Go crazy.

Put on the jacket, then the mask, then the goggles. It's crucial that you put on the items in this exact order(4).

Finally, enlist in the United States Marine Corps and remain on active duty for 28 years. By the time you're done, you'll be a grizzled veteran, jaded and bitter, filled with disgust at the very world you sacrificed so much to protect -- just like "Dad" himself! (Be sure to keep the ski goggles and surgeon's mask on your face at all times during your entire tour of duty.)

REAPER

Reaper is a little more difficult than Soldier: 76. It's an unspoken rule within the Overwatch cosplay community that any good Reaper cosplayer must be able to teleport. If your Reaper cosplay doesn't violate the unwavering laws of physics that govern our natural universe, then you're a pathetic loser and your cosplay is trash. I guess you can do the mask and the hood or whatever, but no one's gonna pay attention to that garbage. It's all about the teleportation.

There are several commonly used techniques for mastering the art of teleportation. If you're on a tight budget, you'll probably want to forge a black compact with vile Satan, the Devil himself, forever consigning your eternal soul to writhe in unimaginable torment in an endless, maddening inferno. But the quicker option (which I personally prefer, even if it's a little more expensive) is to buy a Home Teleportation Kit ($29.95 at Radio Shack). It probably won't be as flashy as whatever dark, twisted design might spew forth from the undulating machinery of Beelzebub's incomprehensible Nightmare Engine, but the kit just takes a few minutes to set up and you're good to go.

Reaper's signature gravelly voice is also a key component to a good cosplay. It takes a little practice to replicate, but you can train your vocal cords by doing these three simple exercises every day:

1. Swallow an entire colony of deadly Australian Bull Ants (Myrmecia pyriformis). 2. Wire, glue, or staple your jaw shut. 3. Listen to the complete discography of KoRn six times, doubling the volume each time.

Nature will take care of the rest.

GENJI

A lot of would-be cosplayers assume that cosplaying Genji is difficult, since he's a cyborg with lots of mechanical parts, but it's actually quite easy. Just follow these three simple steps:

1. Go to Japan. 2. Be a robot man. 3. Remain in Japan forever.

SOMBRA

To really get into the character of Sombra, you need to become Sombra -- literally. By gradually introducing new behaviors and lifestyle adjustments into your daily routine, you will eventually become Sombra herself, eliminating the very need for cosplay in the first place.

First, you'll need to immerse yourself in the kind of environment that Sombra would call home. What I've done in the past, and what I'd recommend for first-time Sombra cosplayers, is to purchase eight hundred copies of William Gibson's Neuromancer and construct a fort out of them in your living room. Another common method I've seen cosplayers use is to sell their house and move into an abandoned electronics manufacturing plant. Yet a third option is to start a personal diary, but just write "i am t3h h4xx0rz" on every page until you are t3h h4xx0rz.

Once you've created a sufficiently cyberpunk environment for yourself, the next thing you'll need to do is to become Hispanic. I leave this step as an exercise to the reader.

Finally, you'll need to become invisible. Unfortunately, invisibility can't be taught; if you weren't born with the gift of invisibility (and you don't have access to an arcane reliquary(5)), you'll have to just pretend to be invisible by stripping down to your underwear and screaming "INVISIBLE INVISIBLE INVISIBLE" at anyone who comes near you until they stop looking at you. When no one is looking at you, you are functionally invisible, which for cosplay purposes is close enough (at least, if you subscribe to Berkeley's doctrine of subjective idealism(6)).

PHARAH

Everyone's favorite rocketeer, Pharah is one of the most popular characters to cosplay(7). Pharah cosplayers have experimented with lots of different materials and machining techniques in their quest to make that perfect flight suit, and some of their creations have been really innovative and impressive. But if you're just starting out, don't bother with the suit at all; just buy an actual rocket launcher. No one will notice that you aren't wearing a suit because you'll be detained by security well before you get anywhere near the convention center.

TRACER

You can put together a pretty good Tracer cosplay by mixing and matching parts from other costumes. If you've cosplayed as Reaper, you already know how to teleport, so the hardest part is already out of the way. (See the Reaper section above.) You can reuse the goggles and jacket from your Soldier: 76 cosplay as well. For the last few pieces of Tracer's outfit, you'll just need to repurpose the reactor heart thingy from an Iron Man cosplay, some orange pants from a cosplay of a carrot, and the DNA of an actual British woman. (Be sure to get permission before extracting someone's genetic material.)

If you don't have any of those things, then you can just sprint around the convention center floor shouting "I AM TRACER" in a halting, robotic monotone (just like Tracer does in the game). Stare straight ahead and do not make eye contact with anyone. From time to time, skid to a halt and dart furtive glances around the room like a startled squirrel. Look down at your trembling hands with an expression of increasing dismay, as if it's just beginning to dawn on you that you've murdered your own father. As soon as anyone approaches you or says anything to you, immediately resume sprinting and shouting.

MCCREE

Unfortunately, it's impossible to cosplay McCree. He's simply too manly for anyone who plays a nerdy video game like Overwatch to convincingly pull off. If you want a good McCree cosplay, your best bet is to hire Clint Eastwood to do it, as he is functionally indistinguishable from McCree. Mr. Eastwood's contact information can be found below:

Clint Eastwood Malpaso Productions 4000 Warner Blvd. Building 81 Suite 101 Burbank, CA 91522

That's all for Part I. Thanks for checking out my guide! Stay tuned for Part II, coming soon(8)!

FOOTNOTES

(1) This is a lie. (2) This is a lie. (3) This is also a lie. (4) This, too, is a lie. (5) This isn't a thing. (6) [dense, protracted commentary on 18th century metaphysics] [numerous scholarly citations] [irrelevant but adorable photo of a puppy licking a rabbit's head] (7) Yet another bald-faced lie. I suppose it could be true incidentally, but I'd still consider it a lie, seeing as how I'm intentionally attempting to mislead you.  (8) Probably, like, two months. So, not very soon. That's right, I lied again. You should have caught on by now.