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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 11 months ago

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Yesterday I got the chance to go on the zip line, and I'm desperately afraid of heights but I still want to do things at heights, like the climbing wall or a high ropes course. And I've tried both of those things but quit very soon or before even starting, because I can't fucking do heights. But last night I got the chance to do zip line and I really wanted to, but was incredibly terrified.

So one of my dearest friends, a woman I deeply like and love, first reassured me (I was afraid I was too heavy for the zip line) and then said "Would it help if I went with you?" And yeah, she's one of the sweetest people I've ever met and she's an incredibly comforting presence, of course I said yes.

So we walked up to the zip line platform, and this is her job so she's very good at reassuring people (usually little children, but it worked for me too) who are scared to go on the climbing wall or zip line. So as I was trying to comfort myself, she told me how it would work, and that I could just sit and the harness would hold me, so I tried that and it helped, and she told me I could just lift my legs and I'd go. So I did, and she went at the same time as me, and

My god, the anxiety and the thrill, flying through the air with her next to me, seeing her wave at me as we went, getting off at the end and her asking, "So do you want to do it again?" And wanting to do it again with her, it was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever felt. I truly felt like I could've done anything I wanted with her by my side.

#if it wasnt clear i have a massive fucking crush on her and last night solidified it so much #i volunteered to work at the wall and zip line because she works there and i wanted to spend more time with her #so shes been training me a little and also just been staying near me #like today there was open zip line and her favoeite job is sending #today she had the option to send but instead stayed doing helmets and harnesses with me and one other person #she has so much experience and certifications that she did not need to be at helmets and harnesses #i think she just wanted to be near me but maybe im crazy. but it was so nice to spend time around her #i think she knows i like her. i just havent said anything yet #today i said 'i need to tell you something but i cant' andshe said 'its okay. take your time' very clearly me needing to confess my feelings #im just bad at shit like this #but last night on the zip line with her... her reassuring me...#she said if i got up there and decided i couldn't then we would just walk back down and it would be alright #it was sincerely life changing. something out of a movie based on a ya book #on the zip line. trees around me. gorgeous scenery. looking and seeing her smiling at me. she waved. we were both laughing #fucking life changing. one of the coolest experiences ive ever had. definitely helped me get over my fear a bit #after the first time on the zip line she told me experiences like that are why she loves cope and climbing #helping someone overcome their fear and develop a love for something they were scared of #it made me feel very close to her and altogether very fulfilled #and today ive spent most of the day with her. just constantly chatting and playing card games #shes been jokingly antagonizing me today with various games (how many horses and mao) but i love her playfulness #i love her humor and creativity and laugh and mind. shes horribly snart and makes it a problem /lh #shes amazing and has changed my life as long as weve been friends and i desperately wish i could tell her my feelings #but last night was. the most amazing time ive had in quite awhile #goodnight

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