#i love him as a trans man but like fluid makes sense considering fans call him a princess lmao

[crispipaper]

A polite letter to J.K. Rowling By a transgender fan of Harry Potter (TW. Suicide and trauma)

Dear JKR, 

My name is Alex Hernandez, and I have identified as a Harry Potter fan since I was six years old, and a non-binary/ transgender individual since I was sixteen. I recently read your essay concerning your opinions about transgender individuals, and your claim that by providing information you were ‘protecting natal girls and women.’ I was extremely disappointed when I read your piece, both as a queer person and as a Harry Potter fan. The factual information you provided was ill-informed and often taken out of context. The opinions you shared were harmful to many members of the trans community, and perpetuated stereotypes that we have been trying to dismantle for years. 

What stood out to me most in your essay was the insinuation that the only way a person could truly be considered transgender is if they underwent hormone replacement therapy and/or gender confirmation surgery. This is simply incorrect, as there are many people (myself included) who happily identify as trans that have chosen to or cannot undergo those types of treatments. It also completely leaves out the identity of non-binary, a-gender and gender fluid individuals, who do not subscribe to the binary gender identities that accompany these types of treatment. It is also not as simple to gain access to these procedures as you seem suggest, even within your home country of the United Kingdom.

In your writing, you state that “a man who intends to have no surgery and take no hormones may now secure himself a Gender Recognition Certificate and be a woman in the sight of the law.” According to the official website for the government of the United Kingdom, a person who wishes to obtain a Gender Recognition Certificate must be over the age of 18, have documented proof of a diagnoses of gender dysphoria, have lived as their intended gender for at least two years, and intend to live as this gender for the rest of their life (https://www.gov.uk/apply-gender-recognition-certificate). This clearly shows that a person must provide more than just their word in order to gain legal recognition of their gender by the British government. You are correct that surgery and hormones are not prerequisites for obtaining a GRC, however, medically transitioning is not a prerequisite for being a trans person. 

You also cited a very controversial study performed by Doctor Lisa Littman the supports the theory of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria. According to this study, children and young adults are more likely to come out to their parents as transgender after engaging online with other trans individuals. Dr. Littman claims that according to the survey she conducted (which was directed at parents of children who had recently come out as trans), gender dysphoria can just appears out of nowhere during puberty, and that internet forums and peer pressure is a large contributing factor to this. However, there are several things wrong with her writing. To start, the survey she conducted in order to obtain her data was targeted at parents of children who had recently come out as trans and only posted to websites that were about parents questioning their teen’s recent coming out. She asked irrelevant questions about the child’s mental health, including whether or not they had been diagnosed with a mental illness prior to coming out, or if they had experienced trauma at some past point in their life. Although I understand that the article was taken down and re-reviewed, the author did not rescind her findings, and simply used the republication as a way to clarify what she had previously stated.  

The other aspect of your writing that stood out to me as particularly harmful to the trans community and those questioning their gender identity was the supposition that one could just “choose” to be trans because they have experienced trauma. Your experience as a survivor of domestic and sexual assault are real and valid, and your trauma regarding these situations is real and valid. However, this does not give you the right to suggest that you might have chosen to transition during these times in order to escape abuse. Transitioning (in your case) from an Assigned-Female-At-Birth (AFAB) individual to a male identifying individual does not automatically exempt you from abuse and violence typically experienced by cis-gendered women. It is not a choice people make because they have experienced a trauma. It is a recognition of what has always been true to them, that they were previously unable to freely express. 

Here’s where you seem to be missing the point. People who choose to transition from a female to a male are not trying to “escape womanhood.” What they are doing is finding ways to freely express themselves in the most authentic and truest way. For example, say you were born with red hair. But for years and years your family was dying your hair brown because it was more “socially acceptable” to have brown hair. You knew that you had red hair, and that wasn’t something that anyone could take away from you, even if they were trying to cover it up or pretend like it was brown. And one day, you meet a group of people who have naturally red hair, who are flaunting their red hair and making a point of not dying it to fit societal standards. And maybe you don’t agree with what these people are doing, and you continue to dye your hair. Or maybe, you realize that you’ve always preferred having red hair, and now you’ve come across a space where it’s ok to be a red head. These people understand what it’s like to have their hair dyed for years and years, and want to embrace their naturally red hair. That’s how it is for trans people. A trans man was always a man, he was just born into a woman’s body, and socialized as a woman. But once they encounter other trans people, and realize that these people will accept and love him for his true self, then he will “come out” because he realizes that he was always a man and now finally feels comfortable expressing that. 

I also want to take this opportunity to share with you my own personal journey of gender exploration, since the stories of non-binary trans people are often overlooked and rarely heard. I was assigned female at birth. I was given a traditionally female first name, and socialized as a girl for the first sixteen years of my life. However, even as a little kid I had a sense that something wasn’t quite right. When I was younger, I really didn’t like my name, and always wished I could have been called Amber or Ashley. I knew that I was not the person I wanted to be, but I didn’t have the language or understanding to really figure out how I was feeling. As I grew up, I came to embrace my feminine name, and to enjoy traditionally feminine things such as princesses and makeup.

Fast forward to high school, when I was beginning to learn more about the LGBTQ+ community. Before I got to high school, I didn’t know a single queer person my own age. Existing on the internet at the time, I encountered many stories of trans people, but the only ones I ever saw were of binary trans individuals. I knew that I didn’t want to be a man, but I also knew that I didn’t really want to be a woman either. So I cut my hair short and started wearing clothes that showed off less of my figure and that attempted to obscure my female form. When I was fifteen, I was doing a presentation on LGBTQ+ identities for school, and came across the term “non-binary individual.” At the same time, I was taking a class where we were learning about the history of feminism, and how many ancient cultures saw femininity and masculinity less as physical forms and appearances, but rather as energies that a person could embrace. Both of these streams of information collided, and I suddenly realized I had words to describe how I’d been feeling this whole time. I didn’t want to identify as a binary woman, and I didn’t want to identify as a binary male. Instead, I wanted the language that would allow me to feel comfortable traveling between these two energies. 

My personal definition of what it means to be a non-binary individual is a person who embraces both masculine and feminine energies, and can express themselves as one, neither or both. I keep my hair long and have chosen not to go on hormones or have reconstructive surgery partially due to trauma I experienced as a child, but also because I want to keep these aspects of feminine energy close to me. There are days where I feel more masculine, where I wear “mens” clothes and attempt to present as a more masculine individual. There are days where I want to feel more feminine, and I choose to wear skirts and makeup because that is what helps me to embrace my feminine energy. And there are days when I want to combine energies, so I will present myself as some combination of masculine and feminine presentations. 

All of this is just to say that when you, a person who has considerable influence especially on younger children, make these inflammatory statements and harmful claims, you are effectively telling children that this is not a world where they can be as authentic to themselves as possible. You are creating a hostile environment that encourages other people who share your ideas to be more vocal, which honestly does more harm than good. Many of those statistics that you quote about rising rates in teen and transgender suicide are often because people who feel forced to conceal their true identity would rather not exist in a world that won’t allow them to be who they really are. So if you are truly interested in changing public perception of transgender individuals, while continuing to support the education of children and the protection of women, I would suggest reading literature that directly opposes your view points, and having conversations with people (particularly trans people) who have real experiences and are willing to share them with you. 

Sincerely, 

Alex Hernandez (they/them)

[davidthetraveler]

David’s Thoughtful Thursday:  Famders and the Issue of Fandom Toxicity

So, the other day my friend asked me about my Top 5 things I like about the Thomas Sanders/Sanders Sides fandom, and what I put as number one was the community that makes up the fandom.  But I didn’t go into much detail, because I realized it could be the perfect first entry into a new series I’m starting on here called David’s Thoughtful Thursday, where I’ll be discussing a particular topic that I’m passionate about and wish to share my thoughts on.  So here are my thoughts on the Famders as a community.

So, one of the things I’ve noticed about us famders is that, compared to so many other fandoms, we are a surprisingly stable and nondiscordant group.  We have our disagreements, of course, and we don’t always remember the lessons we’ve learned from our dear Thomas about how to treat each other.  But when you set us next to other fandoms and communities, we seem like an island of calm in the midst of a raging hurricane.  I’ve thought about it for a while, and I think there’s a number of reasons that we look like such a beacon of hope amongst the fan communities, and it all starts with

Our Dear Thomas

Let’s face it, Thomas is a living ball of sunshine and rainbows (in more ways that one).  He goes out of his way to try and make people smile and loves with his whole heart.  He’s not mean, he’s not snobby, he’s not even aloof (though he should probably be a tad more discreet about some things).  He shares himself with us, and never asks for anything more than what we’re willing to give in return.

But he’s not without his flaws.  He worries about his place in the world.  He has issues with his bodily appearance.  He deals with anxiety and stress and bad sleep schedules.  He has an ongoing issue with not feeling worthy of the praise he receives for the work he does.  And all of this makes him more relatable to the common people, and helps us to see him not as a celebrity (though he is one for sure), but as someone just like.  A young man doing his best to live his dream in a world that doesn’t always act the way we want it to.

He does his best to stand as an example for us, and I can think of no better way that has become so ingrained in our community than in our

Consensual Compromise

Let’s face it, with as large a group as the famders have become, it’s no surprise that a number of issues have divided us.  The fact of the matter is that statistically speaking we were long overdue for a fandom split.  So it should come as no shock that something as simple as a new character would divide us so completely.

Yes, we’re talking about Deceit.

Deceit’s introduction left our entire community in a state of shock before the inevitable clash of ideas began.  As soon as we recovered, different camps began to form based on individual character interpretation.  Some saw Deceit as the new villain, taking the old role Anxiety had.  Those individuals focused on his manipulative tendencies and the lies he surrounded himself in.  Others saw him as a neutral party, neither bad nor good, simply an ambiguous part of Thomas’ psyche, focusing more on his task of self-preservation.  And then there were those who immediately adopted him, calling him misunderstood, and saying he was just doing his job, not being a villain.

Suffice it to say that there was a fair deal of conflict involved in trying to reconcile these different views into a single fanon narrative.  And in the end, we were unable to.  But while there was some discourse in the beginning, eventually we all mutually agreed that, despite some people’s interpretations, Deceit’s portrayal within the video represented something that negatively affected members of our community and could be considered a trigger for them.  So a compromised was mutually agreed upon.

We all agreed to tag content with Deceit in it so that those who wished to avoid him could do so.  We also ensured that what version of Deceit was being portrayed was made known, ensuring that those who wished to see one version but not others could filter out the content they didn’t want to deal with.  Thus the matter was reconciled and we were able to move forward together.  And other than the occasional private debate, I’ve seen little to no further discourse on the matter.

This of course demonstrates how well we as a unit can deal with discourse within our own ranks.  But it also reminds us that

Stable Does Not Mean Perfect

Yes, we are a very stable and welcoming community, and we do our best to be accepting of others and their opinions.  But that doesn’t mean we don’t have our squabbles.  It’s a simple fact that the more people you put together, the more differing ideas and opinions become present in the group.  Eventually one idea or opinion will clash with another, and disagreement will begin to settle in.  While our experiences with Deceit show we can deal with discourse in a healthy manner, there’s still the fact that we are all human.

None of us is perfect, not even our dear Thomas.  We all have flaws and issues.  And each of us has at some point made a bad choice or decision or said something wrong.  We can’t expect each other to not make mistakes.  But we can expect each other to recognize this fact.  Yet sometimes we don’t.

I myself have said things in this community that I’m not proud of, things I regret saying and doing.  But with the help of others to point it out to me and to set me straight, I apologized and worked to do better in future.  And the people I hurt with my words forgave me, and we were all able to move on from the incident.

That I think is one of our greatest strengths.  Yes, we’re not perfect, but that’s okay.  We understand people make mistakes, and we try to help them correct those mistakes so they can grow as a person.  We do our best to make each other better.

Even with all of these good qualities, there are still issues in our community.  They may not be as apparently big or as numerous as in other fandoms, but the fact remains that some individuals have felt the need to leave this fandom, for one reason or another.  We don’t hold it against them for having to remove themselves for a time.  We try to understand, and we accept that, for them, leaving our group is the best choice they can make for their own sake.

But the fact remains that very few people have actually had to take this step.  And I think it’s because of the sense of community we’ve garnered in this fandom.  Because in many ways what we’re doing here is not just enjoying a creator’s content, but rather

Standing Together

The vast majority of the famders identify in some way as deviating from the prescribed norm that society presents.  Society seems to suggest that the majority of people in the world are straight, cisgender, neurotypical individuals.  And we can see how much that comes across in modern culture.  But our fandom doesn’t prescribe to this view, simply because of who we are.

Most of us identify as being LBGTQ+ in some way.  I myself am Asexual Biromantic, though it took being a part of this fandom to figure it out and come to terms with it.  And I’ve made friends with people in this fandom who are gay, bi, pan, trans, nonbinary, and even fluid.  Many of us deal with ongoing mental health issues, from depression and anxiety to more serious concerns such as depersonalization, PTSD and even Dissociative Identity Disorder.  We even have members who are on the autistic spectrum.

I’ve wondered myself how such an enormous collection of identities and personalities could possibly mix together without more discourse.  But the answer is the same every time I ponder it out.

It all comes back to Thomas.

Thomas presents in his video content something we don’t always see in the world around us:  acceptance.  He gets in front of that camera and tells us that he loves us, just the way we are.  He doesn’t care how we identify.  He just loves us, flaws and all.

He and his friends show us a world where people of all creeds and identities can live together in mutual respect and understanding.  Compared to many of the issues plaguing modern society, it’s a shining example of what the world could be.  And we marvel at that concept.

We stand together because Thomas tells us we can, and we should.  He leads by example that a great community is built, not by power or control or fear or hate, but by mutual understanding, cooperation, and love.  We love each other, and we’ve become like an extended family for each other.

There’s a reason we’ve changed our name from Fanders to Famders.

Because we are family.

And family means no one gets left behind, or forgotten.

And that’s why I love my famders family.  Because no matter my pain, no matter my sorrow, no matter my fear or anger or frustration, I know who I can turn to to make it better.

And I wouldn’t trade this family for the world.

Well, that got a bit longer than I intended.  But in any case, I think I’ve worked this out rather well.  Let me know what you think.

And since I’m going to be making this a semi-permanent feature, I’m also starting up a tag list for it.  If you’d like to be added to said list, or if you’re on it and would like to be removed, just let me now.  In any case, thank you for reading.

General Tag List:

@ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2

Thoughtful Thursday Tag List:

@wolfishhel

[dankpaladin]

Heyo!! OMG MY OWN TAG! I feel very honored! Well I do have Google with all its extras and Skype(all these to talk to people directly) but ive been debating whether to get tumblr or Twitter. I don't which to get both have their merits and downsides so... Idek any more :// I saw the content you've been posting, IT IS AWESOME! You go tell em! I found ur blog on a Voltron Directory Blog they had u listed and said it's ship free so here I am! ~Z

Part 2 (bc I talk too much): I LOVED THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT! It was beautiful (Lance lacked in that department tho but I feel like they’re building him up for S3) I wish they would regard Coran as more of a caring character than a comic relief one (so much potential flashbacks w/Altean past!). The Keith arc tho. My soul cannot take it anymore. Hunk and Keith bonding! (It’s precious)! ~Z

P3(shut youp Z!): I want a direct opinion on how to call Pidge? My siblings, my bestie (i brainwashed them in joining the fandom *cackles*)and I regard her as a she but the fandom say that we are against gender fluid characters and I got scared cause I didn’t mean that!? But Pidge was awesome! (Leads on her bro!!) WHERE IS SHIRO HE BETTER BE ALIVE DREAMWORKS OR THIS GIRL WILL BE MAD! All in all I love Voltron more. Ur opinion? ~Z

Yes! you have your own tag! :-) a good way to file our discussions in one place! and oh ok that makes a lot of sense. my sister doesn’t have social media either but she has a fair idea of what’s going on in fandom thanks to me & bcos of her own lurking as well. and thats totally fine! there’s no need to force yourself to make either! OH lmao I completely forgot abt the directory. the description is sorta inaccurate now since Im not Lnce biased anymore so. though I will still be ship free! Thank u for your support and kind words! 💓

I agree abt Coran. tbh he is the True Space Mom, like I really enjoyed his moments with Lance in S1 like when he consoled him on his homesickness & then when they were both cleaning the cryo-pods. and like.. how he cares about Allura so much!?! ok and also, Im sure you’ve heard this already bc i dont think anybody was impressed lmao but I wasn’t a big fan of how they shoehorned Hunk into a comic relief role either, like the food jokes were just.. poor taste. I don’t think the creators meant to demean him in any way, but with the more serious & weighty tone of the main arc focusing on Keith and his heritage, they needed to have that comic relief to balance it out. Not justifying Hunk’s treatment he rly did deserve better but I can see why they did that. I dont like it though.

Lmao the fandom is SO harsh Im sorry you were made 2 feel that way. I think both she & they pronouns are fair game. though its canon that Pidge identifies as a girl—whether trans or cis is all headcanon territory—thanks to that one scene where she was told to ‘man up’. To add though, I see her as sort of on the spectrum... like a demigirl. i don’t think she feels strongly about gender.. as in.. she doesnt seem to hinge a lot of her identity on it? not saying that gender unimportant to her, but compared to the grand scheme of things: the whereabouts of her brother, being a paladin of voltron etc, I doubt she puts a lot of weight into it. but when she is confronted with it lmao like that little scene in the space mall and how confused she was.. Pidge is still young and like, gender is fluid, like you said. she’s probably trying to get a grip on her own gender identity herself .. and thats very much an ongoing process. I think its really open to interpretation, so either one is all right. I think he/him pronouns would be misgendering though since she did express discomfort*

Pidge was really endearing throughout the season THOUGH! I have a little. bit of criticism. but its not about her, but how her intelligence was framed? it was poor taste how the show needed to make Lance & Hunk look dumb to make Pidge look smart. considering race and all, it’s really REALLY! poor taste having to discredit two brown boys’ intelligence in order to elevate a white person’s? Like i know the creators probably didn’t mean to do that, but thats what happened when they made both Hunk & Lance the comic reliefs! I’m sure there is a way to frame Pidge as her genius self without degrading H&L, like u could have them nodding along & extending upon her ideas. HUNK at the very least who’s supposed to be the engineer of the team should have been 😕. I read somewhere on a twitter that they could both be like translators lmao, and like explain Pidge’s rambles in layman’s terms to Shiro and Keith (who prob know nothing abt engineering and all that, being solely pilots and all) and Allura and whoever else is lost lmao. Like i don’t think making them look dumb was necessary at all 😔

Im super concerned about Shiro as well 😭 Other fans are guessing he’s stuck on that astral plane which makes sense of his really really abrupt disappearance. im really curious abt whether his stay in the astral plane will involve more black lion flashbacks + more fleshing out on the history of Voltron? That would be really interesting.

And no! dont shut up! Ever!! I’m eager to read & discuss as u can see w my own long response lol! This was really enjoyable to reply to!! 

*note: I’m not an expert on gender identity.. like I do relate to Pidge abt this a lot lol so if I said anything offensive/incorrect, please let me know so I can improve upon myself!