#i love you so fucking much himani

[levis-hazelnut]

This is a vent.

You can do what you want with this post but please do read the part from where your name starts in bold and pink.

I have decided it's okay for me to type my thoughts out here In tumblr. Safer than my journal at least lol

So I'm doing okay but I also feel like shit for the past few days lol. To the point where I cried myself to sleep. Ever felt like crying badly but the tears won't come out but you can't even act frustrated? Yeah that too.

I'll be honest. I changed schools so now I have about 3 supportive friends but we haven't interacted much.

My friends from my previous school are really very cool and supportive and it is because of them, I had a thought of exploring me and thinking about my sexuality and everything.

I have a lot of friendship problems. Im kinda losing touch with My friends from the previous school and i saw it coming almost 1 years ago. But I still talk to them bc I like them. I have been betrayed and neglected and taken for granted by loads of people who were my friends. We're still in touch but there is a disconnection.

I really considered them my friends. I trusted them. I was looking for a special bond with them. But it never happened. Half of them betrayed and verbally bullied me. Some of them strayed away. Some were Influenced by other bullies. Some took me for granted.

I'm awkward at voicing out my true feelings. I wanted them to know through my actions how much they meant to me, how I bragged about how nice they were, how I loved it when we went on little adventures and screamed and laughed. But they just had to go away.

My one and only lovely best friend moved away and now we live about 2000 kms apart but we still talk and she supports me (and simple for me lol) and she is kinda like one of the top reasons I'm sane rn. I'm very grateful to have her.She sometimes visits my blog through Google and reads my fics.

I've been having depressive episodes since last year. It's definitely better than last year bc back then, I used to cry in secret like- every single day. Including my birthday. I've actually kinda mastered the art of masking my feelings.

On top of that I have family problems. My dad is not really emotionally present. I hate to say this but my mom kinda victimizes herself. Evertime they have fights, I hear and notice this. It pisses me off but the points they make about themselves make sense. Eventually they make up and they sat down and made me under stand that nothing is gonna happen but it mentally affects me a lot.

Believe me when I say that I love my parents. But I'm growing distant. On top of that there is some toxic advice and they are homophobic oof.

I know there are millions of people with more worse conditions than mine and when I think about this, I get sad and start to invalidate my feelings but with the help of some motivational people, I understand that my problems are valid and I'm allowed to feel sad. At this point I'm like my own supporter. I'm proud of it.

Every time I see jean, I relate to him a lot. Putting a strong front for others but your terrified inside. (Also thighs mm)

So Hazel. Listen to me

When I found out of tumblr and fanfics, I was overjoyed. I spend weeks reading comfort fics by many different authors including yours and it made me feel safe.

I finally decided to make an account and follow people. I mostly interacted with you. There are so many blogs and moots that I follow now, and now I'm not shy or scared to interact with them.

You know why? Because of you.

It is from your blog I first felt like I could feel safe. I never felt weird about going in your inbox more than once. Everytime you responded I felt butterflies. After that when you followed me back, I actually almost cried. Every single time I saw you in my dash, inbox or responding to me, or just interacting with your fellow moots, I felt happy.

And after that I met amber, izzy, and so many cool moots. If we ever met In real love I wouldn't hesitate to give you a big hug and thank you.

Hazel baby when I say I love you, I fucking mean it.

I love you. I love you so much

I love all of my moots, and people who I interact with every day. I found so many supportive people and people from the lgbtq and people who share the same thoughts here.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you never forget how much I admire you. I'm almost tearing up as I write this. All of you guys give me so much motivation to move forward in my life.

himani please the way you had me crying because of this i love you so so so much i cant stress it enough

(imma put a read more cos this got kinda long lol)

im so happy that you found a safe space and you feel comfortable enough to tell me all of this too. you have me on discord as well and i'd always be happy to listen to you if you need to talk or just to simply simp over 2d people lmao

and im so sorry that you've been feeling terrible, it honestly breaks my heart and i wish there was something i could do. i'd hold you and be there to fight everyone for you if i could. if those friends dont keep in touch with you, they'll be missing out and they'd be losing such a precious and amazing person. but once you lose something you always gain something - thats something i've realised so you will find the right people that will stick by you for a very long time ❤❤ i'm so glad you have your best friend there to support you and sticking by you because even when you feel like everything's just going to shit i know they'd be there for you and im happy about that

your feelings are completely valid and im glad you realised that. just know that im always going to be here too to support you and to just be there for you whenever you need it

bye the way you have my heart himani, it makes me so happy that you feel safe here and that you never felt weird about interacting with me. please you give me butterflies all the time, how could i not follow a beautiful person like you. honestly the same goes to you - i love seeing you on my dash and i love seeing you have a great time and interacting with people especially with my moots it makes me so happy i cant describe it 😭

if we ever meet im not letting you leave my side, you're gonna permanently be in my arms

i love you so much more i wish there was a way i could show just how much... im glad you found people you love and those that support you and that give you motivation. and im always going to be here to support you and for anything else you need

thank you for being comfortable enough to talk to me and to share this. you're an amazing person never doubt that 🥺🥰💖

[lichamonae]

TokyoGhoul Live Action Movie : Alize thoughts

ALERT: A LOT OF SPOILERS ‘CAUSE I'M GONNA BE VERY SPECIFIC

Ok guys, so I´m gonna chat with you about this movie, first I´m going to say I was very happy with the final product in general, more becuase I saw Death Note movie of Netflix and it was horrible, so beside that movie TG live action looks awesome. But I´mgonna be very critic with the movie.

FIRST : SOUNTRACK

For my taste of sountrack it was ok. Some times the scenes were left withut sountrack to emphazice the moment, and it as pleacent to follow, but it wasn´t like the greatest sountrack ever. Like I was imagining something like the anime (sountrack in the anime is great, the only thing great), but it was just me hoping for some unravel in some scenes. but like I said it was ok.

CHARACTERS:

In general, the actors played very good their characters, you can see how all of they took a time to understand the motives, flaws and personality in their own acting.

Irimi: was just there to decorate anteiku (did nothing but she was beautiful)

Koma: that guy was so good in that one scene

Mado: Great af, very into the character, replulsion of ghouls, treating them like less than rats, calling them rats. love him <3

Amon: That guy was a little bit strange for me. His face was with no espression at all. His acting was ok but I think he could do it better. He was very handsome and there was a scene about him training that was really good 100% Amon there.

Yoshimura: Really good !!! he was just there, giving life lessons to Kaneki, giving key information and not force wisdom at all. tumps up for this beautifull old man.

Mr. Feuguchi: This woman was so sweet and cute, just like the manga, she looked so pure. And her last scene (you know what scene) was soooooooo intense, right in my feels </3.

Nikishi: The only thing I gonna say is 100% Nikishi I wish we could get more of him, but his story in the movie is just as the manga give us in the first 3 volumes.

Kimi: Just there hooking up with nikishi. did nothing else.

Rize: that was the most beautiful Rize, really it was amaizing, playing around with her meal it was cruel af. I miss Rize.

Hide: What can I say??? cute af, Hide af, his scenes where great. His face is what I always imagine about Hide.

Yomo: He was just standing here and there been Yomo. That scene of him praying to food was great (Kaneki was like wtf). He didn´t had a more big impact like I would like to, but it was fine.

Uta: I hope he had more lines, cause some parts where missing and like a fan I would love that but looked like they bring Uta to the real world so great job!.

Hinami: A great actress btw, she was shy, and then she was asking for onnichan <3. The Mado's dead scene, her speech just as the manga, it was beautiful.

Touka (my love). I really thought I was not going to like me, but daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. That voice of her, like really harsh when she was talking, and cute with Hinami and Yoriko. My god, the cake scene it was perfect. Something I notice is that Touka movie was not so angry like Touka manga. She wasn´t so rude with him like I was expecting to be, but still it was 100% Touka, believe me.

Yoriko: One important scene, she cute, she awesome she made Touka throw up :D

Kaneki: OMG Kubota wtf XD. Let me tell you something this kid screams like a girl so much that made me laugh a lot ( I laughed hard almost the whole movie). he was extremely awkward, extremely clumsy, and when he was in a battle with Amon he became extremely insane. Like he really push himself to act as crazy and broken as posible. It was scary and unpleasent... and I liked it.

Also beautiful scene of kaneki “tasting Hide´s face like a lollipop

STORY:

Ok, I´m going a bit harsh on this one ´cause I´m 100% manga fan and I wanted to be every single panel on that movie, but that can´t be done so I will say that is 100% manga faithfull.

Like every movie they have to cut some thing, but some things that was important ( at least for me) like the scene of Kaneki screaming “I´m a human not a moster”, “Uta delivering at bad time the mask”, Yamori? where is yamori?, Touka in her school life, the important “shine shine shine shine” scene, and some others that didn´t make the movie really make me a little sad, but..

In the other hand we had:

-Some Little Kaneki

-Oishi!!!!!

-If you die, I will be sad

-This world is wrong (beautiful parallel with Kaneki and Amon)

-this taste like horse´s shit

-Touka beats the hell out of his bestie aka Nikishi

-Beautiful Himani eating, and Kaneki been a little girl

-Those scenes of touka and yomo training <3

Also they didn´t make Touka and Kaneki a “thing” like most live action movies like to do to the main charactes, that (even they are canon now) I love it. It was 0 love interest between them.

finally I woudl like to that in some scenes character had more lines to express what they where feeling or thinking. I knew everything because I know everything about them, but some new watchers could be like “huh?, wtf?, what happening?” in some points.

But in general it was easy to follow, not boring at all, and the finale gives a perfect end to the story (surprisingly a happy one) but withhe chance for a continuation, so I could give them a slowly clap for that

SPECIAL EFFECTS

uhhhh, well: live action anime movie, low budget....I could tell you that the kagunes in some scenes looked great and for a moment they look awesome and scary af. but in every scene they were a lot of flaws with the effects, they look vry funny actually. even tho it look that they worked with what the have, and if is there a continuation and sony gives them more money it could improve a lot.

DIRECTION:

Another flaw in this movie. In some scenes the camera was moving a lot, sometime the scenes where cut in a very strange way to go to another situation and you didn´t knew whatwas happening becuase it wasn´t explained, so you had to have your own conclusions. The direction could improve a lot, so work in that directors!!!

SCENES:

The places where they film where beautifull and they really worked to find them. Anteiku and Uta´s crib were on point. The Mado´s dead scene was like they built the place just like the manga. the lighting it was ok.

FINAL THOUGHS:

For me, I could give this movie an 85%. It really surpassed my expectations a lot, but it could be better. The movie as a whole can be enjoyed by fans like me and like people who like anime but is not TG fan ( my boyfriend said so). So if you have the oportunity t watch it, do it.

´Cause after all, and most important they DIDN´T FUCKING RUIN TOKYO GHOUL !!!!!!!