#i may have ruined my makeup while crying but 100% worth it sorry

[pepi-nillo]

HI TODAY IS MY BEYOND EVIL ANNIVERSARY and to celebrate i watched the last two episodes, cried, ate a pizza, cried over a "juwon-ah", and cried a bit more. a whole year of BE brainrot!! heck yea!!!

[allforhader]

New Perspective

Bill Hader x (F) Reader

Warnings: Langauge

Y/N has been childhood friends with Bill and she has always been supportive of what he wants to pursue in life. She’s watched him evolve into one of the greatest in her opinion and she’s been there for almost every major moment. Perks of being a fellow actor. You see a lot.

But with personal things. She was at his wedding, was in the chain of messages when it came to his girls coming to the world, and when he had his lowest moments...Y/N dropped everything to be by his side.

“You always have my back Y/N, how can I ever repay you”

“You don’t have to Bill. What are friends for?”

Apart of her never wanted to tell him that she had feelings. It felt and from the looks on how life played out, it was one-sided. Partners never came easy when her mind is obviously tied to something else. She knew that holding on was only going to hurt her, and it did. It did on most days but of course he always made them 100% better.

Y/N was there for him when he went through his divorce and not much was said. All he wanted was her to be there and that’s exactly what she did.

Now the two were given a movie opportunity and it’s been some time since they’ve worked together. This’ll be fun.

For the most part.

“Ms. Y/L/N” Bill smiles knocking on her open trailer door.

“Mr. Hader” Y/N smiles setting her highlighter down as Bill sits across from her in the booth. “Thought you were talking to the other star in this film”

“I was, she’s nice. But shouldn’t I be getting to know the main love interest for my character instead?” Bill smiles resting his head in his hands on the table.

“You’ve known me all your life Bill”

“Okay touché but I prefer hanging with my best friend on set any chance I get”

Y/N smiles hearing that as it also chipped at her for a moment.

“Are you staying at the hotel near by?”

“Yeah, ain’t gonna live in a trailer” Bill laughs a bit. “Have you checked in yet?”

“I just got in, so not yet”

“You can stay with me, my room got another bed”

“Y’know the film company got me a room to myself right?”

“Yeah but come on, it’s better being with someone than alone”

“Okay...” Y/N smiles seeing how excited he got hearing her agree.

Filming scenes out of order is very common and the two are used to it. Neither of them had an opinion of which to do first since their schedules were changed in order to film without interruptions. Only time something may happen is something with Bill’s girls. Other than that, they took things slow and did the easiest scenes to begin with.

“Oregon is a beautiful setting to film at”

“It beats the normal New York setting like a lot of films”

“True, do you want to get drinks next night out?”

“If you’re paying” Y/N smiles making Bill laugh as he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

The director a moment after had Y/N sit with him as they go over scenes with just Bill and the other interest. He wanted her to watch so that she can get a feel for her character but her character felt more real.

The main female lead, who’s love of their life is their best friend and he doesn’t know that she loves him until it’s too late.

At least the ending is happy. Sad to a degree but—yknow. Rooting for the main lead is the way to go for the most part.

“Be prepared to cry Y/N”

“That’s very unsettling director”

“Well you know your scenes”

“I do”

“You’ll do great” He smiles as Y/N continued to watch the two before getting up and leaving to go over her lines with herself.

Bill turns his attention to Y/N as the director stands up.

“BILL YOU RUINED THE TAKE”

“Sorry”

“TAKE THREE PEOPLE!”

A few months went by in filming as Y/N lays in the bed beside Bill’s thinking about the fact that they are doing one of her heartbreaking scenes. She didn’t want to do it but has to at the same time.

Y/N now in the makeup department scrolling through her phone as the crew worked on her makeup.

“Have you worked in a rainy state before?”

“Hm?” Y/N looks up from her phone catching a smile from the lovely woman doing her makeup. “Oh, yeah. But most of the time we are filming inside”

“True true...but it’s beautiful when it rains here in Oregon. Knock on wood that it doesn’t rain when we film but reading a few scenes with you in it. It’ll be beautiful if it did” She smiles touching up on her blush as Y/N was flattered but nervous.

After getting dressed in the causal outfit her character demands for, Y/N walks into set seeing the tents over the equipment just in case it does rain. She bumped into Bill adjusting herself once she caught her balance.

“Sorry Y/N”

“No I am, wasn’t looking”

“Well. It’s nice running into you than a stranger” Bill smiles fixing his blazer as Y/N wanted to say something then and there but

“Places please!” The director states as Y/N retracts herself walking over to her marker as Bill locks arms with the other love interest.

Bill stood at his placement seeing Y/N starting to count with her fingers. A habit from when they were younger, she did it when she got anxious. He never forgot the little things. He wanted to check up on her but the moment he heard action, he couldn’t.

Script Characters - Bill is Ethan, Y/N is Amelia, other love interest is Evelyn

“Love, you know how to make a girl’s night” The interest steals a kiss as Y/N’s chest started hurting.

“Evelyn, you are worth every moment. Which...is why I want to make it worth it” Bill smiles glancing around them and back to his interest. “The love of my life stands in front of me and it always feels like I’ve known you for all the years I’ve been on this earth. You...make it worth living every day in this chaotic world and I want to fight every day with you right beside me”

“Ethan...are you saying what I think your saying?”

“Every word”

Every word, stated for the wrong person. But Y/N didn’t know that. The director gestures for Y/N to start approaching and the scene and she drops her phone to her side.

“Hey Et—-“ Y/N steps forward before turning her body toward the camera retracting herself back when she saw Bill get down on one knee.

It’s a movie. Y/N, remember it’s a movie...

“Will you marry me Evelyn?”

“Yes! A thousand times yes!” She laughs as Bill picks the interest up spinning her in his arms before stealing a kiss.

The director looks at the shot on Y/N making them zoom in the moment the tears formed and rolled down her cheeks. He didn’t expect that, but it made it ten times better. He was about to yell cut to take another shot when the rain started.

Knock on wood my ass...

Y/N steps back not having anymore words from the scene as her body shifted quickly going behind the prop building but she slipped on her way. Bill quickly looked over after setting his interest down. A great shot. The director had them follow Y/N for the rest of the shot as the rain poured on them. She held her head down letting everything hit her.

This is fake

It’s a movie

These aren’t real characters

But this story feels too familiar...

Fuck.

Y/N brought her head up wiping away her tears as they came down but the rain made it difficult to differentiate. Perfect.

“Cut! THAT WAS FLAWLESS Y/N, SAME GOES TO YOU TWO! Flawless! Now get the hell out of the rain, we don’t want our stars getting sick” The director states helping his crew get the cameras and personnel out.

Bill took his blazer off as the interest’s assistant ran over with an umbrella for her, helping her off set as he makes his way to Y/N who hasn’t move from her spot. He covered her with the jacket not giving a damn if it was for his character. He didn’t want Y/N to get sick.

“Come on...” He held his hand out as Y/N took it carefully being brought up from the wet ground. “It’ll be hell if you got sick” he wrapped his arm around her hurrying her out of there.

After a while the two were in their hotel room, and as Bill got dressed in the bathroom, Y/N sat on her bed already out of the wet clothes and into something comfy as she dries her hair with a towel while the feelings lingered.

“That was an intense scene, one of the electrical people said the director wanted to get another shot until he saw how you were performing. Kept the scene going” Bill walks in sitting across from her on her bed. “You’re amazing you know that?”

“Haven’t heard it enough honestly” Y/N laughs a bit hugging herself as she rubs her arms to warm her.

“You sat in the rain for a while, why don’t take a hot bath. Maybe that’ll warm you up” Bill suggest watching her shake her head before trapping the pillow she wasn’t leaning against hugging it close.

“I’m okay Bill, I’ll be fine” Y/N smiles watching Bill move himself to be beside her. Keeping close brings warmth in ways.

“Come on. I don’t bite” Bill laughs as Y/N rolls her eyes before leaning against him feeling his arm wrap around her shoulders brining her close.

Warmth huh...

A few more months, a couple hundred shots, and more intense emotions that Y/N thought she could handle for the most part. Filming the wedding was killer when her character was best man and now was the money maker scene.

Confessing.

“Looking beautiful like always Y/N” The director smiles helping Y/N step down from the box after getting her dressed hemmed.

“I know it’s for the scene and the movie, I really hate pink” Y/N fixes her dress sighing.

“Well, it suits you. Don’t have to wear it long. One more scene where Amelia grows fed up over the reality and storms out of the reception catching Ethan’s attention. Then the confession” He smiles going to his crew and talking about the trolly shots as Y/N sighs going to her marker.

“Wow”

Y/N turns around catching Bill’s attention making her smile with a tint of pink growing.

“You look beautiful”

“You saw me in this dress yesterday”

“Well, I’m simply stating facts and I like complimenting you” Bill says with a hint of nervousness in his voice. “I uh. Well! Time to get in position. Right?”

“Right...”

Once the cameras were in place with the wall separating the scene in two shots. The trolly camera being set on the one outside and the other having two cameras set on both main characters. Y/N stood in her spot hearing action as she leans against the wall watching Bill enjoy himself in his own little world. She took a deep breath resting her hand on her chest before stepping out.

“Why did I do this? Why did I sign onto this...I shouldn’t have. Shouldn’t have stayed. I should’ve left a long time ago...”

“Amelia—“

Y/N froze along with the camera as it planned to Bill but he didn’t care for that.

“Where...where are you going? The reception barely even started”

“I know...I just...”

“Just what?” Bill rests a hand on her shoulder getting pushed off but it felt personal. “Amelia...”

“Sorry. I can’t stay”

“What do you mean?!”

“I CANT STAY” Y/N shot back snapping as Bill took a step back. “I can’t stay and watch this go on”

“What does that mean? You’re not...You’re not acting like yourself Amelia”

“Ethan...I-...” Y/N felt her face heat up staring at Bill as she suddenly started crying. “I love you...I have always loved you...a-and I can’t stand there and watch you move onto the next chapter of your life...without me”

“Amelia...why didn’t—-“

“BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID”

The director read the script knowing this isn’t what he written and Bill knew instantly.

“I was afraid to ever say anything because you...you were all I cared about. I cared about every single thing you did and everything that happened to you. Because...it either hurt you or put you in a state of mind that i couldn’t always help you out of” Y/N felt her body shake as she clenched her fists. “Every chance I got...you were always with someone. Always in love with somebody and I knew it was never going to be me. Because I’m not...I’m not the love of your life. I never was...”

“A-Amelia please don’t go—“ Bill grabbed her wrist the moment she stepped away and Y/N ripped her hand away not looking at him.

“I love you...I always will....and the only thing that’ll help me get over you...is never being around you ever again” Y/N states as that last part was scripted but the first two lines were all her in the voice of her character.

Y/N stormed off as Bill stood there feeling his anxiety course through his body watching her go.

“Ethan?” The interest interrupts as the scene was continuing. But he didn’t want to continue filming.

Bill looks at the director hearing him say cut as he instantly ran after Y/N.

Y/N had no more scenes that day and Bill searched for her all over set and even went to her trailer before being called back. The director told him to give her space since he didn’t know what went on there and as stupid as some directors are. He’s going to use that shot but of course he himself was going to check up on her actress when they got Bill back in makeup.

“Y/N” He knocked on her hotel room door, this time in hers and not in the one she shared.

“Please. Give me a minute”

“I’m not asking you back to set. The shot was fine. If you don’t mind me using it of course”

“God I don’t care if you use it or not. I just...I full on confessed how I felt all of these years of being friends with Bill and...it just. Blew up in my face”

“Bill left set looking for you. He’s back because it’s your guys job not to leave unless it was an emergency. But you have no more filming and...he was upset that he didn’t find you before we brought him back to set”

“Sir, you don’t know the personal stuff about this”

“I know you two have been friends for years, and you have chemistry. Chemistry that would work amazingly playing as friends or lovers. I also know this is your first film as a major love interest and what you told me, it would’ve gone differently if the partner wasn’t Hader”

“God...”

“Get dressed out of that dress and come back on set. If I can guess how he’s feeling. He won’t work like this”

“Isn’t that the point of Ethan’s character? To be emotionally bombarded by what Amelia said?”

“I love that you know every minor detail in my story, but Y/N. His character’s reality. Became his. Knowing that you’re not okay...he won’t work properly even for the character” the director left going back to continue hoping Y/N would come onto set.

A few shots went by and they were re-taken two or three times do to Bill not being in the right headspace. He looks over to the crew watching them discuss what they just shot and before the director asked for places again, Bill saw Y/N stand beside him looking at him for a moment then to the screens.

“Bill, are you okay?” His other co star asks as Bill was in his own world.

“I’m going through it...”

When the work day was over, Y/N knocked on Bill’s trailer watching it instantly open as Bill steps out looking at her. The silence was killer and Y/N didn’t really know what to say since she has already said it.

“I’m so—“

“Don’t.”

“Bill—“

“Don’t apologize for something you kept to yourself for years...I wish you didn’t keep it to yourself for years”

“Your life moves faster than mine Bill. I’m...just. Behind”

“You’re not. You just...why did you put me before you always? You would’ve said something sooner if—“

“Bill just shut up” Y/N frowns. “You’re my best friends. That’s why I did it. But the confessing? I didn’t tell you how I felt because...because life got in the way. You fell in love on a few occasions and I watched. I couldn’t butt in every time! You wouldn’t have the life you have if I did!”

“Y/N, I do love the life I have. I can’t lie about that even if I tried. But...you can’t just stand there and assume I never felt the same way” Bill frowns as Y/N felt her face heat up when he said that.

“I-....For fuck sake Hader”

“Y/L/N. You assume a lot. But for my sake. Can you tell me how you feel without having to do it in a scene to do so?”

“Well. Spit it out then”

“I love you too, and I’m sorry it took you this long to say anything. But I’m also sorry...that I didn’t do it first” Bill instantly presses his lips against hers maneuvering his arm around her waist bringing her close to his chest.

Y/N grabbed his shirt keeping him close to her and taking in the moment as she continues to kiss him. The moment air was needed, Bill didn’t wait long to kiss her again.

They both had enough of waiting, for this new perspective.