#i mean i got a snap of the dutch bros cup that's been sitting in an intersection for weeks now but baby that's you grasping for straws

[mamaarachne]

the silence you get from someone who knows they fucked up is hilarious

[corvidae-00]

Love All Mine

A/N: ANOTHER ONE- This was requested! And I'm so excited to be writing it >:) I also got some friendly advice which I thank! i haven't written in a long time so my formats are kinda weird but I appreciate the Anon that reached out so here is some work on that!!!

THIS IS A SMUT- IF UR UNDER 18- DO NOT READ >:^

Joost x Virgin!Insecure!Goth!Plus sized! Reader :D

CW: Sexy time, insecurity while lovemaking, Joost being the man that he is and loving reader no matter what, Joost loves all body types- bro is not picky-, loves reader the most tho, Swearing, slight overstimulation- >:3

word count: 2,480

You and Joost have been together for longer than either one of you can remember. meeting during your teen years and kicking it off. He has watched you grow and develop and become the beautiful woman you are and you have done the same, Watching him grow his music career and become a person you have always found safety in. He had always protected you from the bullies who made you feel down about your weight and was always the person to lift you back up afterward and restore your self-esteem-

That being said- Joost and you have never had sex, you have made out, touched, and gotten so close but never continued. you never questioned that maybe he didn't love you- it seemed like his own worries or anxiety, but that would change.. Getting home you set your bag down and sigh the makeup you always articulately put on in the morning feeling heavy from your long shift at work and you are ready to just lay down with the love of your life, you kick the door shut with the bottom of your foot and set the keys on the counter only then noticing your Boyfriend still had not run up to greet you- which was weird for him and definitely out of character, maybe he was asleep?

"Joost?" you call out carefully if he is asleep and you don't want to wake him up or cause a disruption. kicking off your flats you walk deeper into your shared apartment, pictures of you and Joost hung up everywhere, conventions, concerts, dates- they all had fond memories. Getting closer to your room you quiet your footsteps knowing your boyfriend to snore no matter what position he is in but when you hear soft panting and grumbling. Blinking a few times you step closer unsure if you are hearing correctly "God, je bent zo mooi" a gruff Dutch accent breathes out and you can feel your face flush red realizing it is Joost. Touching himself. You peak into the room seeing your boyfriend's back as he sits on the edge of the bed with his head thrown back and hair messy and disheveled, eyes closed and mouth slightly hanging open. You can feel your eyes dilate and your mouth quickly watering- maybe this is wrong to watch-

Before you can turn around and act like you saw nothing Joost's eyes droopily open and quickly snap open upon seeing you- "schijten!" He yells surprised sitting up and you blink a few times his voice lower than you are used to "Babe- I- uh-" He sputters out "I wasn't expecting you home-" he explains watching you push into the room as Joost grabs the blanket to cover himself up trying to keep any ounce of dignity he may have left his face flushed red and sweat trailing down his brow. You both have a stare off and before you can think you mutter out "Do you want help..?" your mouth goes faster than your head can catch and understand what you just said clicking and you quickly blink "I mean- if you want" You mutter and before you can overthink it Joost nods eagerly "God I want you" he huffs out his grip on the blanket increasing. The goth look had always been a style Joost loved, especially on you- and he wasn't ever scared to think about you in that scene.

You step over cautiously watching Joost as he watches you like fresh meat. Reaching out Joost takes you by the wrist and pulls you towards him sitting up slightly to catch your lips in a heated kiss, quickly using his other hand to cup your cheek and groaning into your mouth. Feeling your whole body heat up you can't help but lean into it, enjoying the quick adrenaline seemingly causing both of you to work faster. Joost drops your wrist and gently grabs your waist pulling you onto his lap surprised when you break the kiss "Wait- I don't want to hurt you-" You mutter trying to stand up only to get tugged down again and forced to look at a genuine and vulnerable Joost "You couldn't hurt me, you are perfect.." He whispers moving your hair and leaning in to kiss you again "So...perfect" He says between kisses trailing down your jawline and neck stopping to suck and nibble at your soft skin "A goddess who graces my life every single day" He hums scooting back onto the bed and flipping you both over so he is on top- "Please let me worship you" He mutters his blue eyes blown wide and his face a bright red "Let me show you how much I love you" he begs kissing on your neck listening to your sweet gasps and murmurs tilting your head to the side to let him kiss on you more. "Please Joost" you hum your eyes closed in bliss "Please" You repeat your brain turning into mush as he trails his hands under your dark blouse and gently pulls it over your head kissing down your neck and peppering your collarbones in hickeys

"So beautiful" He mutters his accent getting thicker and thicker with every passing minute. he kisses down your cleavage and down your stomach his hands rubbing up and down your sides enjoying the soft flesh under them. getting lower until he is between your legs he works at your pants careful when removing them and allowing you to help him he kisses your thighs feverishly enjoying the closeness between you two "God I'm an idiot for not doing this sooner my Mooie meid" he growls getting closer to the area you want him most sending you into a whiny mess "God Joost please" You moan throwing your head back into your comfortable comforter "Please what?" Joost purrs hooking his fingers around your underwear and tugging slightly looking up at you from between your legs "Use your words pretty girl~" He practically growls "Please Joost- please eat me out please take my virginity-" You moan looking down at him in a dazed state "There we go~ Your voice is like heaven~" Joost sighs pulling your underwear down and off your ankles leaning in and pressing his lips to your core his mustache ticking you slightly but the feeling of him actually touching you could be enough to throw you over the edge.

"God!" You moan letting your head fall back onto the bed as Joost lets his tongue press flat against your folds dragging a slow line up and kissing the bud of nerves between your legs causing your legs to instinctively close only for Joost to hold them apart "No, No Princess, how can I take care of you? Keep them open for me, hmm?" He purrs massaging the soft flesh in his hands "God it feels so good" You huff out only for Joost to chuckle "Oh Yeah?" he leans down taking the bundle of nerves carefully into his mouth sucking and using his tongue to tease you further. Fighting to keep your legs open you reach down to thread your fingers through his hair and Joost could swear this is the closest to heaven he may ever come. "Holy shit you taste amazing~" Joost groans leaning farther down and presses his tongue against your entrance testing the waters his eyes shining when your eyes roll back into your head. bringing a hand up he uses a finger to gently take his tounges place teasing your entrance before gently pushing inside of you carefully watching your reactions, extra careful not to hurt you "Joost!" you moan out your eyes screwing shut "Oh, I know baby, I know" He purrs pushing a little bit further into you "Just tell me if it gets too much-" He mumbles leaning down and licking your clit kissing and teasing it while he slowly enters his finger into you

once his knuckles meet your heat he glances up at you, meeting your eyes which are watching him intensely, your mouth hung open in pleasure. "Please move-" You mutter watching Joost slowly pull his finger out and enter you again carefully pumping his finger into your heat not wanting to push you too much but eventually speeding up. "Feel good..?" Joost huffs out nibbling on your thigh closest to his face leaving a few more hickeys "Oh god please don't stop" You whimper one of your hands covering your mouth slightly, your makeup running but neither of you care. Joost pulls out and adds another finger slowly pushing inside you. You gasp and arch your back "O-OH-" You yelp and Joost kisses your stomach "I'll be slow, are you okay?" Joost looks over your face in worry and you nod "Please- continue- it feels so good-" You whimper and he nods eventually meeting a pace that he had with his single digit. you are a mess of moaning and whimpering "I'm so close Joost please" You whine out your hands tightly wrapped in his soft hair and Joost smirks connecting his mouth with your clit sucking and licking away at it increasing the speed with his fingers until you feel the knot in your stomach snap and you cum all over his mouth and fingers which causes Joost to let out a loud moan of his own carefully and quickly licking your cum off his lips, slowly pulling his fingers out and licking them clean. You whine at the empty feeling and Joost chuckles leaning up and kissing you softly

You moan the tase of yourself on your own lips and Joost pulls away slightly "Think you can take the real thing?" Joost purrs looking you in your beautiful eyes "Please, Please-" You murmur against his lips and Joost chuckles "You sure beautiful?" he near growls and you nod feverishly "Okay- ill be careful" He mutters kissing you again and reaching down to take hold of his cock in his hands, pumping it a few times before leaning forward and aligning the tip with your core "Just say stop if it gets too much? I don't want to hurt you.." Joost mutters looking down at you with gentle eyes and you nod "Please take me-" You mutter running your fingers over his chest, Joost nods pushing his tip into you slowly and you can't help but quickly cover your mouth to muffle your moans. Joost pulls your hand off your mouth and shakes his head "Let me hear you mooi" he moans pushing in some more almost drooling at the sounds that leave you "Oh my god Joost please" You whine arching your back and pressing your chest against his, quickly Joost reaches under you and unstraps your bra discarding it somewhere in the room and his eyes dilated on the nipple piercings looking back at him "When did you get these done?" he questions through hard panting looking at you and you sheepishly look away "Maybe a few months ago~" You purr and Joost growls under his breath "you sneaky Minx you~" He hmms pushing in further and bottoming out against you causing you both to let out loud moans, Joost hissing at how tight you are "tell me when to move baby" He moans

Joost leans down taking one of your pierced nipples into his mouth. You can't help but buck your hips causing you both to gasp and Joost to groan in pleasure making your nipples more sensitive you huff and puff trying to catch your breath from how overstimulated you are "Please move" You nod and Joost looks up at you from his attack on your breasts " you sure?" Joost looks over your face and the sheer determination behind your eyes is all he needs before he pulls his hips back and thrusts into you slowly and intently.

After a while of going slow you beg him to speed up the pleasure of his dick melting your brain "Oh my god Joost please-" You whimper the snap of his hips echoing off the walls the room filled with lewd sounds and neither of you could care even if you wanted too "You like that baby?" Joost moans out his hair in every direction and your hands latched onto his arms like it might be a life support. speeding up Joost hangs his head low giving more attention to your nipples. You wrap your legs around his waist wanting nothing more but to be even closer to him. "im- I'm gonna-" You whimper and cry out "Cum for me schat" Joost growls covering your breasts in hickeys. You close your eyes tightly feeling Joost speed up making sure you memorize every ridge of his cock "Taking me so well" He moans "Such a beautiful girl on my dick" he growls "How lucky of a man for me to have a woman as beautiful as you" He laughs. Still, it comes out more like an airy breath "Joost I'm cumming!" You moan throwing your head back and Joost closes his eyes letting out his own moans "Cum on this dick baby girl" He snaps and you can feel your second orgasm hitting you like a bus.

Joost pulls out and cums all over your stomach and pelvic bone letting out his own sounds of pleasure including a string of Dutch moans. "You were amazing baby" Joost pants out leaning forward and kissing you softly pulling away and kissing you again, covering your face in love "So perfect for me" He hmms standing up a bit wobbly on his feet, his orgasm knocking the wind of out of. "Stay here baby.." he mumbles and enters your shared bathroom bringing back a warm wash rag and the bag of your makeup removers and skin care products "Here let me help," Joost says softly cleaning his cum off your body and kissing your stomach every chance he gets "Have I told you how wonderful you are?" He mutters with hooded lids. You smile and nod "But I don't think I could ever get enough" You hum sitting up the best you can only to be gently laid back down by Joost "Nope! I'm taking care of my princess" He demands and you just smile letting him clean your face off and your skin. Once done Joost crawls into bed with you making sure you both are comfy and pulls you into his chest

"I love you sweetheart" He mumbles kissing your face and You can't help but wrap your arms around him wanting to be as close as possible letting Joost pull the blankets over the two of you. "I love you too Joost, I love you so much" You mutter hiding your face in his chest and letting Joost play with your hair and mutter praises and sweet things in your ear rubbing your back with his free hand

Dutch translation: God, You are so beautiful-God, je bent zo mooi

Beautiful- Mooi Sweetheart- Schat Beautiful girl-Mooie meid

A/N: THANK YOU FOR READING >:3 First time writing smut in a HOT MINUTE HOLY CRAP- Thank you for ALL THE LOVE?!?!?! Keep the requests coming >:))) I love you all!!!

[seconds-not-decades]

Step {Back} In Time

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my season two fic (and sequel to Time and Chase). I will be posting daily. *Please note that I am well aware that Elliot Page portrays Viktor, but due to season one being before his transition, that is why his character is still Vanya. I am not deadnaming him and I sincerely hope I don't come across as such. I will transition when I write season three.*

Warnings: cursing and violence.

Previous | Next

Valhalla

~ * ~

On April the 1st, 2019, the Earth was destroyed in a cataclysmic event.

Billions of people were wiped out in a matter of minutes.

Ironically, the seven survivors of the apocalypse were the very family members who brought it on.

~ * ~

Diego, Five, Karina, and Lila watched Sir Reginald's car disappear into the night.

"You know, I'm starting to get the feeling Dad's avoiding us," Five commented rather bitterly.

Lila sighed as she looked around. "Hate to be the boring one, guys, but, uh, it's time we get the hell out of here."

"When you say "we," who exactly are you referring to?" Five questioned in her wake.

"Not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence," Lila looked at him.

"Listen, I don't know who you are or where you came from, but whatever it is, I'd advise you return posthaste," Five snapped.

"She's right, Five. We gotta get outta here," Diego agreed.

"I just saved your life and your precious wife's life, you kinder-shit!" Lila was in disbelief. "If I hadn't stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks and your wife would have been beaten to a bloody pulp with her pretty head split in two!" she was glaring him down.

"And that's the problem," Five bit out, grasping Karina protectively and supportively. "You're too good. You ask too many questions. You know too much."

"And you fight like you know what you're doing," Karina weakly added, coughing some.

"They've got a point," Diego admitted.

Lila scoffed in disbelief. "So I know how to handle myself, and that makes me the bad guy? Come on. Though she may have gotten bested a bit, Karina was holding her own pretty well."

"Leave Rina out of this," Five seethed. "Whoever you are, you're in our way. If I see you again, I will kill you."

Lila watched them walk past her and then once they were in the clear, Five blinked out with Karina back to Elliot's place to get her healed.

~ * ~

Luther was cooking eggs the next morning and the sun was shining. Five, Diego, and Karina looked as rested as could be.

"No, no, no, I don't understand. They keep following me," Diego was pacing.

"Wait, who?" Luther wanted to know.

"Those Dutch sociopaths."

"They're Swedish, you idiot," Five corrected him in exasperation. "Hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do any more damage to this timeline." He waved his cup of coffee around.

"Yeah, but why now? I mean, I'm-" he snapped his fingers aggressively as he continued, "Fine for three months until you two showed up!"

"Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me," Luther added nonchalantly.

"Even if it was my fault-which it isn't- we only have six days before the end of the world, and the closest anyone's gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate," Five defended himself.

"Well…" Luther trailed off with a sigh. "That's not exactly true."

Everyone slowly turned to look at him.

"What do you mean?" Five questioned, stalking over to Diego's side.

"I saw him," Luther answered.

Luther recounted his story, starting with after he landed in the alley. He explained that he saw Sir Reginald once and took a bus to his home to see him, but Sir Reginald didn't recognize him and kicked him out. Then he came back to Dallas after that failed mission.

"That's pathetic," Diego commented, sitting across from Luther who was busily eating his eggs.

Luther scoffed, his mouth full. "Yeah, well, at least he didn't shank my ass."

Diego leaned forward. "No, bro, he shanked your heart."

Five and Karina looked at him in confusion and exasperation.

"Mm," Luther shoved another spoonful of eggs into his mouth.

"Is that my bathrobe?" Elliot pointed to him.

"No."

"Look, who cares what he shanked?" Five got everyone back on track. "He knows something about time travel."

Elliot raised his arm. "Um…wait, why don't you just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?"

"Anyone care to explain?" Five scoffed, getting to his feet.

"First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse," Karina began.

"Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls," Diego continued.

"Last time I tried, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday," Five poured himself another cup of coffee and refilled Karina's cup of tea. "Any more questions, Elliott?"

"Uh, no," Elliot shook his head quickly.

"Sorry, you'll have to excuse him. He's the personification of an angry chihuahua," Karina told him casually, taking the cup of tea from Five.

"You're missing the big picture. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that's planning to kill the president," Diego told Luther.

"A cabal?" Luther had his mouth full again.

"Ignore him," Five cut in. "Look, the way I see it, we only have one option."

"Oh, yeah? And what's that?" Luther wanted to know.

"It's time to get the Umbrella Academy back together," Five answered.

"Hell, yeah. Family meeting," Diego grinned.

"Okay then, can one of you get Allison, please?" Luther requested.

Diego glanced at him. "You two still a thing?"

Luther motioned with his head.

Diego leaned forward and whispered, "Do we need to talk?"

"No, she's married," Luther replied.

"Whoa. Dude, that's rough," Diego said.

"I can handle it," Luther sarcastically chuckled.

"Rina and I will get her," Five spoke up. "Can you get Vanya without, uh, squeezing her to death?" he eyed him.

"I'll try."

Five nodded and blinked out with Karina.

~ * ~

Five, Karina, Allison, and Klaus entered the building from below.

"Hello?" Allison called out.

"Le petit mort, le petit mort," Klaus repeated himself.

Allison eyed him. "What? You don't speak French."

"It's "the little death"."

They both chatted indistinctly and Allison laughed as Diego, Luther, and Vanya came out from above.

"Oh, wow. Look at this old stuff," Klaus looked around at the TVs and radios. Everyone looked at one another in astonishment. "Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but…did we all get sexier?" he asked.

Diego, Luther, and Vanya came down.

"Vanya," Allison went over to her with Karina.

Vanya smiled. "I can't believe I have another sister."

"I missed you."

"Thank God someone did," Vanya chuckled softly and they both chuckled before hugging it out. Allison grinned and pulled Karina into the hug.

Klaus grunted while he hugged Diego.

"Oh, you are drunk," Diego pulled back.

"Yeah. No, just a little. Just a few-oh, that's so sweet," Klaus saw Allison, Vanya, and Karina hugging.

He went over and flung his arms around the trio.

"No. Jesus!" Allison grunted and Vanya giggled.

"Hi," Vanya greeted.

"Hey, Vanny," Klaus returned.

"Klaus," Five spoke up as Karina rejoined his side. He softly smiled and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Is Ben here?"

"Oh, uh…no. No, unfortunately, ghosts can't time travel," Klaus lied airily.

"Are you kidding me?" Ben was sitting behind them.

"All right, then. Let's get down to business," Five went upstairs with Karina.

Klaus looked at Vanya. "So, Vanny, what's new?"

"Hey, Diego," Allison peered over at him, but he was going up the stairs. "Can't say hi to nobody?"

"Hi, Allison," he grumbled.

"What was that?" she prodded from her side of the staircase.

"Hi, Allison!" he yelled.

"Thank you!"

Everyone settled down, looking at Five, who was standing.

"All right. First off, I wanna say I'm sorry," he began. "I know I really screwed the pooch on this whole going-back-in-time-and-getting-stuck thing. But the real kick in the pants here is we brought the end of the world back here with us."

"Oh, my God, again?" Klaus complained, causing everyone to stare at him. "All of you knew? Why am I always the last one to find out about the end of the-oh, my God." He gasped dramatically. "My cult is gonna be so pissed. Five! Karina! I told them we had until 2019!"

"We have until Monday," Five sighed.

"We have six days," Karina added solemnly.

"Is it Vanya?" Klaus took a sip of his drink.

"Klaus!" Allison scolded him.

"What? It's usually Vanya."

"Do you have any leads, Five?" Vanya looked at him.

Diego handed him a file.

"Yeah, we have one," Five passed the file to Allison.

"Holy shit, is that Dad?" she asked, shocked.

"Yeah," Five nodded.

Vanya peered over. "That's him?"

"Standing on the grassy knoll," Diego put in.

"Diego and I have been trying to talk to Dad about what exactly this means," Five continued. "So far, we've got nothing."

"Not nothing," Diego disagreed. "He's planning to kill Kennedy."

"Maybe," Five remarked. "But we don't know who or what sets doomsday in motion. Could be Kennedy, could be something entirely independent."

"But if we know something changes the timeline, we have to make it right," Luther spoke up.

"Yeah, but how, if we don't know what's broken?" Allison pointed out.

Diego scoffed. "Come on. Do the math. We know Dad's having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he's on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president. So I think we all know what we have to do."

"Find Dad," Five said at the same time as Diego said, "Kill Dad."

Everyone shot Diego a look.

"None of us are supposed to be here, right?" Vanya asked. "I mean, what if it's us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone exchanged a look.

"Diego's been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald," Luther shot.

"And you're working for Jack Ruby!" Diego shot back.

"Allison has been very involved in local politics," Klaus casually stated.

Allison whipped to glare at him. "Okay, you started a cult."

"Thank you!" Ben agreed.

"I'm…I'm just a…a nanny on a farm," Vanya admitted while Klaus growled and hissed at Allison like a cat.

"I don't have anything to do with all of that," Vanya said.

"Well, maybe you do, we just don't know it yet," Karina gently returned.

Diego whistled sharply. "Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can't be a coincidence," he began listing off, "Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is…doing something weird and pervy but probably related. See, clearly, we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy."

Here came the overlapping arguments. Five just stared at his family in regret and exasperation. Karina rolled her eyes at the bickering siblings, going over to Five's side. He wordlessly wrapped his arm around her, looking down as he lightly rapped his fingers against her ribcage. She watched the arguments continue as Five thought over the memories of the war he and Karina saw when they first landed here.

"Five? Five, are you there?" Karina's voice echoed and snapped him back to the present.

"This is bigger than all of us!" Diego exclaimed.

"Guys, you all die," Five interrupted the family, his grasp tightening around Karina's waist.

Everyone ceased their fighting and looked at him.

"Rina and I were there. We saw it," he continued solemnly, feeling his voice catch. "And I wanna forget it, but I can't. We saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it…in a war that never happened until we brought it here."

"And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you may need to shut up and just listen to him," Karina spoke.

"I don't know if the things we've experienced here are all connected," Five sighed. "I don't know if there's a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead."

"Okay, I'm out," Luther immediately shot to his feet with a sigh.

"Did you even hear us, Luther?" Five stared at him.

"Yeah. Yeah, I did. I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything," Luther remarked. "Well, you can count me out. It's time we all grew the hell up."

"Luther!" Karina followed Luther out.

"Come back," Diego chased after him.

"Where you going?" Klaus asked.

"Save it, Diego," Luther snipped.

Five blinked out and reappeared in front of Luther. He sighed.

"No one leaves until we figure this out," Five told him.

Luther stared down at him for a second before he grabbed a fistful of Five's shirt and tossed him over the railing. He yelled and blinked out before he fell onto the floor.

"FIVE!" Karina shouted and shoved her way past the two. She whipped around to Luther angrily. "God, you are such an asshole! You try watching your family die twice and see how easy it is to try figuring out to save them and the world with a limited amount of days!"

Before Luther could react, she ran out of the building and rushed into the alleyway where Five was.

"Five, are you okay?" she asked him, checking him over briefly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine, love," he reassured her. "Jeez…when did the monkey learn to fight dirty?" he wrinkled his nose.

Suddenly a rock fell down near them and they looked up to see Lila on the roof, racing off and then appeared on the street.

"Son of a bitch," Five breathed out.

The two exchanged a look, glancing back at the building. Then the two raced off to track Lila down.

~ * ~

The two followed Lila to a seemingly old abandoned building.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Karina whispered to Five.

He sighed. "Well, we'll see how this goes first."

He blinked them inside to where Lila was. She turned around to face them.

"What's your game, crazy lady?" Five shot.

"Who cares? You said if you saw me again, you'd kill me," Lila sarcastically shot back. "I see you brought your back-up. How sweet."

"Oh, I remember," Five sarcastically said.

"Well, come on, big talker. Let's get this done."

"All right."

Five blinked to her other side and she punched him, knocking him to the ground with a grunt. Lila swung to kick Karina, but she ducked beneath her and slid past, watching her run off. Karina helped Five up as they ran after her.

Five blinked them out and in front of Lila before flipping around and kicking her across the face. Lila dodged punches and gave punches, alternating between the two. She kicked Five back and shoved Karina into a crate, taking off again.

The two scrambled to their feet and looked around.

Lila chuckled from behind them. "I'm waiting."

Five blinked them to her but, Lila was nowhere to be found.

She laughed when they whipped around to face her. He blinked to her again but she was gone. She was casually standing behind them again.

"Fed up yet, Five? Karina?" she arrogantly shot.

Five grabbed a nearby pole and blinked to where she was, smashing the pole against an electrical box.

Five turned as Lila kicked him down. Karina punched her and blocked her arm, uppercutting her in the stomach. Lila tried to kick Five, but Karina swung from below and knocked her leg out, making her fall on her back. Lila grunted when she landed and Five immediately stepped on her throat, making her  cry out. She grabbed his foot, fighting against him.

"You two are better than I thought," she wheezed out.

"And you are entirely average," Five shot back coldly. He clenched his jaw as Lila softly choked. "You can come out now," he called.

The one and only Handler appeared, her heels clacking menacingly on the floor. "Well done. You two figured it out."

"Well, it wasn't very hard," Karina coolly stated.

"She fights like every one of you Commission drones," Five added.

"Hmm," the Handler mused. "No matter, here we are. Together again. And you brought your darling wife, too, how sweet. I've gotta ask…did you miss me, you little shits?"

Lila coughed, laughing as Five and Karina death glared at The Handler.

~ * ~

[falcor-thee-luck-dragon]

What a Time to be Alive - Diego Hargreeves x reader

Chapter 5- Valhalla

Summary: The gala was fun and all, a mild exception being when you almost got choked out by one of the Swedes. For the time being, you and Diego get a surprise visit by the rest of the Hargreeves.

If you want tagged just hit me up. Tagged: @white-wolf-buckaroo @fandomoverlord221 @la-vie-en-amour1 @2cuteforyourlies @thatfandombitcch

“You know, I’m starting to get the feeling Dads avoiding us.” Five says frustrated, looking on as the cars continue to hastily leave the ruined party.

“Yeah, no shit.” You mumble back at him, fixing your dress, as you happen to notice how it now has a nice clean rip where the shoulder seam should be together. In the face of danger all accessories are temporarily forgotten, oh well, you didn’t even like the dress anyways, to constricting.

“Hate to be the boring one, guys, but, uh, it’s time to get the hell out of here.” Says Lila as she walks into view from behind some bushes and a brick wall, continuing to walk past all of you until she reaches the pavement, stopping to turn around and usher you three to follow.

“When you say “we,” who exactly are you referring to?” Challenges Five.

“Not a lot of ambiguity in that sentence.” Replies Lila, shrugging him off.

“Listen, I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but whatever it is, I’d advise you return posthaste.” Five says, using that pushy tone of his again, done with Lila’s falsities.

“She’s right Five we gotta get outta here.” Mutters Diego, looking around slightly nervously.

“I just saved your life, you kinder-shit. If I hadn’t stepped in, all that would be left of you is a blazer and some bloody socks.” She snaps back.

“That’s the problem. You’re too good. You ask too many questions. You know too much. And you fight like you know what you’re doing.” Five says making a compelling point. You eye her up suspiciously.

“He’s not wrong.” You tell her, equally as conflicted as to who or what she truly is.

“So I know how to handle myself. And that makes me the bad guy?” She questions calmly like what we’re saying is absolutely ridiculous.

“Whoever you are, you’re in my way. If I see you again, I will kill you.” States Five seriously, with restrained anger flashing in his eyes as he gives her a last dirty look before walking away back to Elliot’s house.

Looking to you and Diego in disbelief, she turns to go walking a couple of feet before turning back to the both of you. “Guys come on we have to go.” She urges.

“I was getting my ass handed to me back there. You helped Five, not me.” He questions walking in closer to here accusingly.

“Because he’s a kid and you’re a man. Bloody act like one for god sakes, Y/N didn’t appear to need any help. If I remember correctly.” She says in defense, trying to get her point across without giving herself away.

Nodding Diego walks past her. You look up at her pleading eyes and look down for a second thinking of what to do. Making up your mind, you purse your lips together, walking past her as well.

“Y/N, really?” She pleads, knowing she’s losing the battle. You turn to her.

“I liked you Lila, you were fun to hang around with for awhile, I’ll admit. But we know nothing about you, and shits gotten weirder then ever. And right now I can sense that your lying to us, I wouldn’t even have to look at you to know that, I can practically smell it.” You explain to her without much remorse, you knew something was up after all, and nothing is getting in the way of your family’s safety. If she happens to be with the wrong people, that is.

You stare at her for a second more before turning around and following Diego. Tired of all the crazy shit you’d endured at the party.

“Oh, come on. Y/N? Diego? Really? You’re just gonna walk away?” She yells, as Diego starts to make a beeline for the woods. You ignore her calls as you jump over the thigh high stone wall and into the woods you go.

——

The next morning you and Diego get a surprise visit from Luther, someone whom you haven’t seen in a year and a half. After greetings are said, he walks in hungry as ever. So now here you are in Elliot’s kitchen as Luther makes himself a ridiculously large amount of scrambled eggs. You, Diego, Five, and Luther in the midst of a discussion on everything that’s happened up until now.

Smelling the delicious scent of scrambled eggs you sit on the kitchen table with your boots on the chair, looking between Diego and Luther who’s currently cooking said eggs at the moment. Watching as Diego paces back and forth heated about the ass kicking you, Five, and himself received last night.

“No, no, no, I don’t understand. They keep following me and Y/N. Those Dutch fuckers.” Diego points out, attempting to explain his thoughts to Five.

Wait, who?” Wonders Luther, trying to keep up with what’s going on.

“Some Swedish sociopaths.” You answer bluntly.

“Precisely Y/N, atleast one of you is paying attention.” Turning to Diego he continues, “They’re hired guns paid to eradicate us before we do anymore damage to the timeline.”

“Yeah, but why now? I mean I’m fine for three months until you showed up.” Diego growls, snapping his fingers angrily at Five’s unflinching form.

“Yeah, I was here for a year and no one messed with me.” Luther adds, focusing on the eggs he’s still cooking.

Pointing to Five you reply, “Luther’s got a point. I was here for almost two years and I haven’t been randomly hunted down by anyone. Then you show up and I get put in a choke-hold.” You say raising an eyebrow at him.

“Even if it was my fault, which it isn’t, we only have six days before the end of the world, and the closest anyone’s gotten to Dad was that driveway at the consulate.” Comments Five, glancing between the three of you.

Quietly Luther speaks up, “Well that’s not exactly true.” He says with a sigh, looking at the wall before turning to your guys’ confused faces.

“What do you mean?” Asks Five, stepping in closer.

“You didn’t?” He looks away from your prying gaze, he did.

“I saw him.” Luther says, looking nervously at you three, like a child getting caught with a frog in his pocket. He then proceeded to go on a long and boring story about how he traveled back to the Umbrella Academy, talked with Sir Reginald Hargreeves himself, only to get shot down and sternly told to leave. Of course that’s what was going to happen, idiot, he doesn’t even know who you are.

Sitting to Luther’s right and Diego to his left with Five in a chair to your back left. You slouch leaning your arms against the table, propping your head up with your right arm, as you lean against the wall. Listening to the two converse about his misfortunes.

“That’s pathetic.” Diego tells Luther bluntly.

“Yeah, well at least he didn’t shank my ass.” He mumbles, mouth full of scrambled eggs.

“No, bro, he shanked your heart.” Diego says in the most sincere voice you’ve heard in awhile.

Snorting with amusement from your side of the table, you add bluntly, “Well it wouldn’t be the first time.” Gaining a chuckle from Diego and an eye roll from Five.

“Mhm, hilarious.” Luther replies sarcastically, continuing to scarf down more eggs.

Walking into the doorway to the kitchen, Elliot stops, looking confused at Luther. “Is that my bathrobe?” Staring up at him like a deer in the headlights he says innocently, “No”

“Look, who cares what he shanked? He knows something about time travel.” Interrupts Five, talking to the three of you.

“Uh, wait, why don’t we just do your thing and, uh, time travel us out?” Wonders Elliot.

Standing up visibly frustrated, not really caring enough to explain himself anymore, Five asks the three of you sitting down. “Anyone care to explain?”

Luther looks up at Elliot ready to clarify why, “First time he tried, he got lost in the apocalypse.” Diego adding, “Second time, he ended up without hair on his balls.”

“Last time I tried it, I scattered my family across three years in Dallas, Texas, possibly triggering a doomsday.” Five says, while making himself a cup of coffee. “Anymore questions, Elliot?”

“Uh, no.” Studders Elliot, finally getting the point.

“You’re all missing the big picture. Dad is the ringleader of a sinister cabal that’s planning to kill the president.” Diego says sternly.

“A cabal?” Luther asks, confused again.

“Ignore him” You tell Luther, earning a glare from Diego, you smile at him innocently.

“Look, the way I see it, we only have one option.” States Five.

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Questions Luther, half sarcastically.

“It’s time to get the Umbrella Academy back together.” Five says in all seriousness.

“Hell yeah, family meeting.” Diego grins, looking at you, you lift an arm up in reply.

“Why not?”

——

Sitting in the upstairs area near the balcony are Diego, Luther, Vanya, and Elliot, who’s trying to explain the workings and history of jello to everyone. No one really caring enough to listen to his rambling about how it’s made. Meanwhile, you stand looking down at the doors in excited anticipation for your long lost friends.

You listen as they bicker from behind you, Diego still salty about getting the life sucked out of him by Vanya’s energy tentacles, finally they make their peace and you smile to yourself. Proud that he’s matured a bit since then, knowing old Diego probably wouldn’t even be talking to her right now. Hearing the sound of a bell ring, you look up to the doors and spot Five, Allison, and Klaus making their way inside. Shouting their own greetings not catching sight of the rest of you just yet. Now finally looking up, they spot the four of you and shock instantly arrives on their faces, everyone looking at each other with dumbfounded smiles.

“Oh, wow. I know this is impossible, but, did we all get sexier?” Klaus wonders his eyes landing on each of you. You smile at him, missing his stupid humor.

The four of you walk quickly down the steps, grateful to have the whole family back together again. You rush up to Klaus, engulfing him a bear huge. “I missed my partner in crime.” You tell him smiling like an idiot. Breaking away, still holding onto your arms he adds, “Ah my dear, how I’ve missed our Friday night margarita parties.” Smiling at you, Diego then comes in for a brotherly greeting himself. “Oh, you are drunk.”

“Yeah. No, just a little...just a few.” He says glancing at you for a second. You grin shaking your head at him, typical Klaus. He then turns to participate in a group hug with Vanya and Allison. You speed walk over, stretching your arms along with him, engaging in the friendly hug as well. Collecting yourselves together again, you stand back grateful for everyone still being alive and well.

“Klaus. Is Ben here?” Five questions, gathering the attention of everyone.

Putting a hand on his hip he casually says, “Oh, uh...no. No, unfortunately, ghosts can’t time travel.” He says, as he looks around to all of you, avoiding your gaze. You then hear an oddly aggravated whisper as the air pricks with static. Only you notice it, turning to the empty chairs you smirk. You know Ben’s here. Even though you can’t see the dead like Klaus can, whenever he’s around you and as long as he’s not to intoxicated, are you able feel the presence of the ghosts that follow him.

“Y/N is this true?” Five asks you, not completely believing him.

Winking at the chair you turn back to Five, glancing at Klaus for a second. As he rolls his eyes at you. “Everyone’s accounted for. Alive. And dead.” You state.

“All right, then. Let’s get down to business.” Five ends with, starting to walk up the stairs. Never one to mess around for too long, huh.

——

Everyone stares at Five as he begins to apologize for stranding us all here in the 60′s. Then he goes on to confirm about this new apocalypse and whatnot. Surprising Klaus, evidently leading to the discovery of his cult that he apparently somehow started, not that you’re that stunned, if we’re being honest.

Five then shows the picture of Sir Reginald standing on the grassy knoll, Diego fully believing him to be the cause of Kennedy’s death, and Five saying it could be something else entirely. You agreeing with the the more probable explanation of Fives. He does express the fact that no one really knows shit about anything quit yet either, so how could we know it’s actually Reginald on the grassy knoll.

Diego then starts rambling about how the assassination and the apocalypse have to do with their dad, yet again. Five cutting in with his own calculated approach.

“But we know something changes the timeline, we have to make this right.”

“Yeah, but how, if we don’t know what’s broken?” Adds Allison, who’s sitting next to Vanya on the couches large plushy armrest. Klaus sipping a glass of beer or something of the like behind them.

“Come on, do the math. We know Dad’s having shady-ass meetings with some shady-ass people. We know he’s on the grassy knoll in three days to kill the president.” He says looking at everyone, trying to convince them. “So I think we know what we have to do.” He says, walking over to Five after delivering that dramatic line.

Both of them speak at the same time.

“Find Dad.” Says Five.

“Kill Dad.” Says Diego, with slight aggression, your eyebrows raise in surprise.

Everyone looks up at him, confusion clearly written on every single one of your faces. You honestly weren’t expecting Diego to throw the whole ship out to sea. He wants to kill the old fart huh, yeah that’s not gonna fuck up the timeline or anything.

“None of us are supposed to be here, right? I mean, what if it’s us? Has anyone here done anything to screw up the timeline?” Questions Vanya who gets nothing but  nervous glances from mostly everyone. You included.

“Diego and Y/N, have been stalking Lee Harvey Oswald.” Blurts out Luther.

“I was an unwilling accomplice.” You retort, sneering at him.

“And you’re working for Jack Ruby.” Diego cuts in defensively.

Klaus speaks up adding, “Allison has been very involved in local politics.” He says, while laying comfortably on the couch.

“Okay, you started a cult.” She snaps back.

“And I’m a nanny on a farm. I don’t have anything to do with all of that.” Vanya says calmly.

“Well, maybe you do, we just don’t know yet.” Allison adds.

Diego whistles bringing the attention of everyone back to him. “Listen to yourselves. Everything in our new lives is connected to Kennedy. That can’t be a coincidence. Luther works for Ruby, Allison is protesting the government, Dad is on the grassy knoll, Klaus is...” he pauses for a second. “Doing something weird and pervy but probably related. See, clearly we were all sent back here for one special reason: saving John Fitzgerald Kennedy.” Diego rambles completely serious about his mindset on Kennedy and the real reason why you are all here. I’m in love with an idiot, you think. Opening your mouth to state your opinion, the rest of them doing the same. Five sits back in thought, sick of all his siblings and yours nonsense.

Sitting up quickly, Five interrupts sadly, “Guys, you all die. Even Y/N. I was there. I saw it. And I wanna forget it, but I can’t.” Everyone shuts up listening to him talk about the end of the world. “I saw Russian nukes vaporize the world with all of you in it...in a war that never happened until we brought it here. And Hazel gave his life to save us, so you may need to shut up and just listen to me.” Everyone looks on concerned and nervous, letting the hard truth about the future set in. “I don’t know if things we’ve experienced here are all connected. I don’t know if there’s a reason for everything. But Dad will. We need to talk to him before everyone and everything we know is dead.”

Pondering the words Five just said to everyone, Luther suddenly gets up. “Okay, I’m out.”

Frustrated Five raises his voice, “Did you even hear me, Luther?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I did. I heard a 58-year-old man who still wants his daddy to come and fix everything. Well you can count me out. It’s time we all grew the hell up.” Grumbles Luther, frustrated with everyone and the idiotic idea of going to Sir Reginald for help.

Standing behind the opposite couch of Allison and Vanya, you turn to Five vexed by what he just told you, raising your voice slightly. “Did you get knocked on your head as a child, I mean all of you, seriously? When has Sir Reginald-stick-up-his-ass-Hargreeves ever legitimately helped us do anything?” You pushed, trying to make a point. “Even though I thought I’d never say this actual sentence in my entire life, I’m with Luther. Fuck that old monocle wearing dipshit. I’m out.” You huff pissed off. How could they all actually agree to meeting up with him, like he’s gonna talk it out and everyone’s gonna be A-Okay again, no way. You lived in the Umbrella Academy for seven years. It wasn’t what one would call, a walk in the park.

Everyone’s eyes are on you by the time you’ve finished your passionate rant, all looking very perplexed by your outburst. Your opinionated eruptions aren’t anything new, as you’ve always stood up for yourself and what you believe in, but. You sadly understood that even as grown up as they all are, they still seek guidance in the old man. Luther’s right, it’s time they’ve all gotten their shit together.

“Alright then.” Luther adds turning to walk towards the stairs, you hot on his tail. Hearing the calls from everyone else for you two to come back, you ignore them. Even when Diego gets up, questioning the both of you.

“Don’t.” You glare at him darkly, not wanting to hear any more bullshit about JFK or Reginald.

In a flash, Five teleports directly in front of Luther, blocking your exit down the steps.

“No one leaves until we figure this out.” Five says, a stern expression on his determined face.

Sighing, Luther grabs his uniform, picking him up and throwing him off the staircase. Where Five teleports somewhere before he can hit the hard, tiled floor below.

——

Walking down the side street, next to Luther you keep your eyes forward not wanting to hear anything Diego tries to tell you. Taking the hint, Diego decides to talk to Luther instead. “What’s going on with you, big boy?”

“Ugh, leave me alone, Diego.” Grunts Luther, keeping his eyes forward and locked onto the street ahead of him.

“Huh? So, what, you’re just gonna sucker punch Five and haul ass, huh.” Looking to you, he continues not being able to stop himself. “And don’t even get me started on you, I mean really, you follow me around and then decide to throw in the towel.” He questions dangerously, honestly a bit annoyed that this whole time you were never really on board for saving the president.

You roll your eyes, about to let him have it. “I’m not stepping anywhere near that old fuck. We could handle ourselves, if the rest of you weren’t complete fucking idiots.” You snap.

Grumbling something incomprehensible, he turns to Luther. “You got a legitimate reason for walking out on us?”

“Look, maybe trying to stop doomsday is exactly what starts it. Did you ever think of that?” 

“Oh, so we do nothing? Since when are you a quitter?” Challenges Diego.

“Since the last time I destroyed the world by overestimating my own importance.” Luther exclaims, defensively.

“So this is about you never living up to the old man’s expectations bullshit, huh?” Says Diego, trying to keep up with the two of you who are walking quit briskly down the side street.

Luther scoffs, “Maybe. I don’t know, I mean we’re all crazy where Dad’s concerned.”

“Oh, I’m not.” Adds Diego smiling. Yeah okay hot stuff keep telling yourself that, you think, forcing yourself to hold it in. “He’s an asshole. I’m awesome, and Y/N would agree with me too, if she wasn’t so moody. It’s all very simple. You have to understand that, okay?” Diego says smartly, so damn sure of himself.

Stopping at the sidewalk you cross your arms turning to Diego. “So why can’t you leave JFK alone then, hmm?” You look up expectantly, raising an eyebrow as wait for the truth.

He pauses for a moment, “I’m a hero. Heroes stop crime.” He tells you earnestly, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

Shaking your head at him you take a deep breath, Luther coming to your aid. “No, no, no. No, Dad told you you’re a hero. Right? He told all of us. But what if he lied? What if we’re just a bunch of freaks who have no business changing the world.” Shouts Luther.

“No, everyone changes the world, Luther. Everyone. And it’s scary, but that’s kinda the deal. You know, your so goddamn big, sometimes I forget what a sensitive bastard you are.” Making eye contact with you he continues, “It’s all gonna work out. We’re on the right path.”

“You sound like a religious cat poster.”

“Oh, yeah? How do you know?” Asks Luther confused and frustrated.

Deciding to draw their attentions to something more important, you state an unseen but obvious fact, one that you’ve been silently tracking since the three of you left Elliot’s place. “Hey dipshit’s, there’s a long black car that’s been following us since we left Elliot’s.” They look at you confused for a second. “Six o’clock.”

Luther turns around as a mysterious black vehicle rolls up to you three. The driver getting out and pulling a piece of paper from his inner suite pocket. Handing it to Diego, who takes it cautiously.

Cutting it open with one of his knifes, he begins to read it aloud, “To my pursuers: I, Reginald Hargreeves...request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the 20th of November, 1963, half past seven o’clock, 1624 Magnolia Street.” He finishes, looking up at the two of you.

“A light supper?” Luther wonders.

Luther and Diego then turn to you, Diego with a dumb smirk plastered across his face, you roll your eyes and hang your head back in defeat. “Goddammit.” You deadpan.

“Anyone hungry?” Luther randomly asks, you guessing it’s his attempt at lighting up the mood.