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#i mean ideally i would have the next movie for it
gh0stsp1d3r · 1 year
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hey! can you write ghostface! ethan smut? where the reader knows and they have sex? I know for a fact he whimpers 🤭 thank you!
YESS YES YES
Heaven
Warnings: Smut (obviously), p in v, Ethan’s a lil nervous, super cute, a little plot
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Yeah, ethan was a good guy. But was he that good to where you still liked him even after you knew he was a murderer?
After helping his father and sister on something, he was still wearing the mask. He took it off while walking, just to put it back on when he reached your parents house.
Your parents were gone for a few days, and you were taking a break from studying for just a day, then it was back to your dorm.
He didn’t knock on the door, or go through the back one even. He climbed up to your bedroom window, where he suspected you would be. Which you were.
He opened it silently, hoping to surprise you. Your back was turned to the window while you bent over and rummaged through a drawer. He closed the window and made his way to you, knife still in hand.
“Goddamnit!” You groaned in frustration. You turned around, when someone grabbed you. You screamed and kicked, but the person who grabbed you put their hand on your mouth.
The person took their hand off and let you go for a second. They took off their mask and of course-
“Surprise, (your name).” He said into a modulator.
(Stu and Ethan are my favorites so I had to)
“Ethan! Don’t scare me like that!” You hit his arm.
“You need to lock your windows.” He said, and pointing the knife at you.
“You sound like my parents.” You rolled your eyes, and he smiled widely.
“I missed you.” He said.
“I missed you too.”
He smiled again and sat down on your bed, putting the knife on the floor. You sat down next to him.
“So… why are you here?”
He shrugged “I just- I don’t know.. I just don’t like to be alone, after... I mean I know I haven’t actually killed anybody yet, I’m just helping them, but I mean still…”
“No, no, Ethan it’s fine. I don’t care, you know you can come to me at anytime.”
“Yeah.” He said, with a small smile and he laid his head on your chest. You played with his hair, and you picked out a movie.
After a while, let’s just say the movie got boring. Then, Ethan’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when there was a sex scene.
Ethan had just lost his virginity last week, to you. He made a joke saying how he’ll “die a virgin.” Good thing you were there.
Ever since then, you’d been closer. You didn’t quite understand it, were you guys a thing or not?
It didn’t matter at the moment, because Ethan’s hard on was very obvious through the Ghostface outfit he was still wearing. You paused your movements and stopped messing with his hair.
“Ethan..” you said, he looked up at you.
“Yeah?”
“Can we… talk?”
“Y-yeah. Yeah, sure.” He sat up.
“Ethan, I like you. I really do. But I don’t know if you like me too, I mean like are a we a thing, are we not a thing?”
“Wh- of course I like you! I mean…” he took a deep breath. “Y/n, I’ve wanted to say this forever. Would you wanna be my girlfriend? I know this isn’t like.. ideal but-“
“Ethan. Ethan-“
“I do really like you and-“ he ranted on.
“Ethan!” You said, louder and interrupting him.
“I’d love to be your girlfriend.”
He stared at you, and you stared back. You both slowly leaned in to each other, and kissed. It was slow and passionate.
He slowly led you down to the bed, him on top of you.
You both moved quickly to take off your clothes, then he realized.
“Uh… do you have a… condom?” He said, embarrassed. His cheeks went pink as he finished the sentence.
You smiled “In the drawer.” You said, and pointed to a drawer, he quickly fumbled off of you, almost tripping on his own shoes. He couldn’t believe it was happening, again, and now you guys were actually dating.
He grabbed it and went over to you again, he was thankful that the Ghostface outfit was easy to take off. He took off his boxers and put the condom on.
Then, he realized that you weren’t even completely naked. You were too busy watching him.
He slowly moved his hands to your bra, and unclipped it.
He then took off your underwear, and he tensed up. He was scared that maybe you wouldn’t like it, or you didn’t really like him. Maybe you’d leave him the second he got you.
“Ethan, calm down, it’s okay, it’s me. If you don’t want to do this or your not ready we don’t have to-“
“No, no I want to. Do you want to?”
“I do.” You said with a smile.
“Uh, this is—an embarrassing question, but can you uh… ride me?” He sat up, scratching the back of his neck.
You laughed at him, and he feels like he’s done something wrong.
“Can I? I would love to.” You said with a smirk.
“Okay, because I still dont exactly know what I’m doing and I want this to be good for you-“
“Calm down, it will be. I want it to be good for you.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He said, taking another deep breath as you straddled his lap. You held onto his shoulders, and his hands awkwardly were at his sides.
You guided his hands to your hip. One thing you couldn’t get over was his muscles, his cock wasn’t huge, but it was definitely big. But his muscles? No one would think that a quiet boy like him would have his muscles.
Finally, after what felt like hours for Ethan, you slowly hovered over his cock and then you slowly lowered yourself onto it. He screwed his eyes shut and threw his head back a little.
He couldn’t believe it, he was literally having sec with his GIRLFRIEND. A girl, who he could now call his girlfriend. And even after she knew he was a murderer, she still stayed with him.
If this wasn’t heaven, he would say heaven didn’t exist.
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jiminrings · 1 year
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pink sapphire
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pairing: jungkook x reader
wordcount: 11k
glimpse: having jungkook for a husband is great as far as arranged marriages could go; he's easy to love. your relationship's perhaps become so easy that jungkook doesn't think sometimes — and that's what makes it the easiest for you to hate him.
alternatively, you and jungkook married each other for business, but the both of you stay for love.
[ angst, arranged marriage au, fluff n really wholesome scenes (it cancels out the angst i swear), Jungkook Tries Hard (affectionate), miscommunication, jealousy, self-deprecation, sexual innuendos (no actual smut here!!), did i already say that jungkook tries rlly hard and is remorseful the whole time ]
notes: my year-ender fic for 2022 :) thank u for being here — i'm grateful for all ur love n support!! i'll see u in the next one <3
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!!
Jungkook’s a vocal person.
Your husband does not leave a single thought unspoken, sometimes his thinkpieces too impulsive that when he says them in public, you try to play it off by either distancing yourself with him or from him.
“I think the world would be just fine even if all the bees disappear,” Jungkook once said to you with conviction, midway into chewing his cheeseburger. “There’s articles about it proving otherwise but they’re too long for my attention span, but yeah, I don’t think it would be that bad, y’know?” he giggles, looking up at the ceiling in serious thought. “If anything, the Bee Movie taught us that-…” 
Jungkook yelps automatically when you pinch his thigh, your hand sternly gripping his knee like both your reputations depended on it (they really did). “Jungkook, we’re literally in a climate change gala right now.”
“I don’t think coffee’s ever that serious. Seriously, world barista championships? New techniques in supposedly making the best cup of coffee when you’re all just gonna shit it ten minutes later? It’s not that deep,” Jungkook once whispered to you in urgency, his annoyance through the roof. He’s glued to your side, intent on whispering all about his irritation.
“Jungkook, I’m begging you,” you wince, screwing your eyes shut and slowly moving the two of you to the far end of the room. “We were literally right next to your uncle whose new wife is the organizer for that very championship you’re shitting on.”
“We need to talk about the tote bag epidemic,” Jungkook once whisper-yelled to you in a rush, holding you by the arm because he just can’t contain his inner thoughts any longer. You’re thankful, sure, that you’re your husband’s go-to person for all of his random thoughts; it’s just that he picks the worst settings to tell them to you.“They look kinda tacky, everybody deludes themselves that they’re functional even if they have zero pockets, and-…”
“And you just offended atleast three different age groups and all of them are in this café. We need to leave.”
Jungkook’s endearing this way, raw and a tad bit annoying. He’s expressive as much as he’s vocal, his hand slotted on your waist like second nature to him. Being married to him isn’t bad. Sure, the circumstances of your union in the first place were for business anyway, but the both of you understood and agreed at the end of the day. By all means, he’s ideal — ideal until he opens his mouth when he’s sleeping.
If there’s anything that your two years of marriage (and counting) to Jungkook makes you realize, it’s that you should value your peace and sanity more than anything.
“Are you trying to kill me?”
Jungkook groggily asks you with one eye open, conveniently seeing you in the act of hovering around him with an ominous object in your hand. Maybe it’s the sleep in his eyes or the fog in his brain, but when you look at him like this– bothered and passionately frustrated, it makes him love you even more.
“No,” you mutter, the snoring mouth strip in your hands just begging to be put on already. “I’m trying to make you quiet.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
Perhaps it’s the sleep in your eyes or the fog in your brain, but you swear you just saw your husband crack a smirk despite keeping you up multiple nights a week, especially for the past month. He’s not endearing tonight, not at all.
“Isn’t marriage all about accepting each other’s flaws?” Jungkook frowns, about to turn on his side when you put your knee to block him.
“We’re arranged,” you deadpan. “I can’t accept you snoring with bass and reverb every night, Jungkook. I can barely sleep.”
“But didn’t you tell me you like it when I make noises?” Jungkook glares playfully. Bringing up your sex life with him out of the blue almost always does the trick, but it probably won’t work tonight now that you’re only awake and breathing heavily from sheer annoyance. “That you adore me whenever I tell you how much I love it?”
“Jungkook,” you hiss, tempted to flick him on the forehead in his sleep repeatedly so he’ll wake up with a mark. “Will you let me put the snoring strip on you or do we divorce?”
“Divorce,” he sighs out, a pinch instantly placed on his thigh that makes him jolt and squeak anyway. Jungkook whines, correcting himself when your hand hovers his chest this time. “Divorcing is bad!”
“Mhmm. Good night, Kook.”
You vibrate just by the prospect of sleeping peacefully tonight without the walls in the house being shaken up by your husband’s snores, tucking yourself in with an exhale that could last for minutes.
“Mmh-hmm!”
Jungkook could only pathetically whine through the mouth strip, resigning to his fate as he just spoons you from behind and huffs.
“What’s that? You want to wear snoring strips every night?” you chuckle, going to sleep with a smile. “What a nice husband.”
( ♡ )
Every now and then, you and Jungkook have to take a refresher course on each other’s businesses. The both of you know a lot already, constant conversations about which meetings happened where and reminders for events that the other will clear up their schedule for.
There’s already the concern and the general knowledge — it’s just all in the technicalities (even the simplest ones) that the two of you are lacking on.
“Is this a mock neck or a crewneck?” Jungkook holds up a shirt that’s yet to be released, eyebrows raised as if waiting for you to mess up. Come to think of it, you have to know now because his family’s holding company had acquired yet another brand and there’ll be a televised event for it — and some reporters ask the stupidest questions to date. You can’t be the weakest link.
“I wanna say neither,” you clear your throat, biting your bottom lip in confusion. It’s a shirt with a collar and that’s the only thing that matters. You know there’s a name for it and there’s a possibility that the choices Jungkook gave you were all bluffs.
Your answer definitely seems to pique both Jungkook’s interest and amusement, resisting the urge to laugh.
“Elaborate.”
“It’s neither of the two. It’s uhm, in the middle?” you tilt your head, only praying that you could bullshit your explanation to your husband, the very person that created the garment. “It’s an all-new neckline created by Jeon Jungkook because that’s what his label is all about.”
Flattering, but really wrong.
“Cool,” he snickers, nodding to himself before he tosses it for you to catch. “It’s a crewneck though.”
“What? Then why did you make me elaborate?” you complain, scoffing to yourself because you know you should’ve went with that answer. Crewnecks should be easy enough to answer but for some reason (read: you stayed up last night watching new-money elitist reality shows instead of studying), you couldn’t answer.
“To see how good you can run away with your answer, duh.”
“And did I run away with it?”
“You ran away with it for like, four meters,” Jungkook commends you, the distance not all that bad in hindsight, atleast until he opens his mouth again. “There’s a hundred meters in total.”
Trivial things like quiz night on each other’s professions remind you that Jungkook’s nice to be with. Banter flows easily and he’s just so charming that so far, you haven’t deeply regretted a single day out of the two years you’ve been married.
You may not be able to name all the different fabrics, silhouettes, and techniques behind Jungkook’s very own streetwear brand, but you know that he likes being held when he’s asleep; that when he taps your thigh groggily after waking up in the middle of the night, it’s him very kindly asking you to rub circles on his back until he falls asleep.
“Okay, my turn!”
Your glass table almost shakes in excitement when you retrieve your sketches, making your husband all the more nervous because you look genuinely excited and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. He doesn’t have the room for error — your family’s jewelry brand turns 100 years old since the opening of its first shop and the event will be widely attended by everyone from all industries. Who’s to say that your eccentric grandfather won’t suddenly host a quizbee all about their craft?
You flash the paper quickly and your husband sighs in relief, grinning in confidence.
“Emerald cut, easy!” 
The confidence is quickly washed out from Jungkook because you snort, putting the paper down.
“It’s an octagon cut.”
“No it’s not,” he immediately retorts in disbelief, squinting at the sketch you’ve set down already.
“I sketched these,” you narrow your eyes. You forgot just how quick Jungkook can keep himself in denial. “Emerald cuts have more depth to them.
He succumbs just as quickly as he turned stubborn though, rolling his eyes with the internal reminder to touch up on his jewelry knowledge because your event comes before his.
“Fine, sue me for thinking your drawings have depth and dynamic to them.”
“You’re buttering me up.”
“Is it working?” Jungkook blinks owlishly, proud of himself when he sees the corner of your lips twitching. He holds his arm out to sling across your waist out of instinct, pleased in pink when you lean into him.
“Barely.”
Jungkook frowns, nosing into your hair with a huff. “Look who’s talking. You made up an all-new neckline by yourself.”
“Shh,” you hum. “Let me get away with it.”
These moments of domesticity are what remind you that Jungkook’s never been less than ideal for you. That despite being in the same social circle as kids and only starting off as friends, you weren’t hesitant when both your grandparents suggested the idea of getting the two of you married.
In trivial and domestic moments like these, you think that you would’ve wanted to marry Jungkook even if you weren’t arranged.
“I let you get away with a lot of things,” he playfully huffs, resting his chin on your shoulder intentionally heavy to get you to cave deeper into his embrace.
“Because I barely wrong you!” you reason, rolling your eyes because you know for a fact that although you’re not a perfect wife, you’re beyond ideal.
“I know,” Jungkook rolls his eyes this time, the truth undeniable. You’re right; you’re so perfect for him that sometimes, he thinks he doesn’t deserve you.  “How about me? Will you let me get away with a lot of things?”
“I already have,” you sing-song, narrowing your eyes playfully as if in deep warning. “But I won’t always do.”
( ♡ )
Jungkook first realized that you loved him when he missed a single step on the staircase and tumbled a whole flight.
It was 3 AM then, the reason behind his sudden trip downstairs being the fever you developed overnight when you had just gotten home from a ski trip. He had put a wet towel in the freezer in the afternoon and he was supposed to put it on you before you went to sleep. Jungkook must’ve beat himself up for forgetting because he wakes up with a cold sweat, determined to put that frozen towel on you like his life depended on it.
Jungkook thought he was doing well by the way he could navigate clearly even with the sleep in his system, eyes still half-lidded and brain still half-working that he decides to rip out the largest yawn to man mid-step on the staircase — before he knows it, he’s woken up immediately to the bottom of it.
“Jungkook!” you yelled to him then in a panic, eyes wide and frantic to see him at the bottom of the stairs with a sheepish smile. Jungkook knew then that seeing you with a head-splitting migraine visible on your pale lips and fatigued eyes, scooping him up on your arms with nothing but scolding and fussing on rotation — he knew that you loved him more than you let on.
You know Jungkook loves you. So when the bed dips and your arms grow cold despite swearing up and down that the both of you have a free day today, you doubt for a second.
“What are you doing up so early?” you mutter, stifling a yawn to see Jungkook up without a complaint.
“Breakfast with my parents. My crazy aunt suddenly came over and they need backup,” Jungkook answers with a pained laugh, cussing himself for being such a filial son. “Don’t worry, I know you hate her plus you were up all night yesterday so I just told them you can’t come because you’re under the weather.”
You’re put at ease to hear him, sighing a breath of relief — good, Jungkook still loves you and doesn’t plan to leave you. It’s just an inkling you’ve had the last few weeks, the daunting realization that in a couple months’ time, it’ll be three years of marriage with him.
It’s the impulsive, less rational part of your brain that thinks Jungkook’s growing bored of you, confused of how he’s been perfectly content being your husband for almost three whole years. 
You go with Jungkook all the way through downstairs, your playful teasing towards him about never yawning again on the steps giving him more amusement (and embarrassment) than necessary.
“Kook?” you question with a furrow in your brow, pointing at the dish that’s occupied still. “You forgot the car keys.”
“Oh. I’m not taking the car,” he smiles, shrugging to emphasize the jacket that he intentionally wore. You missed the detail somehow, the surprise in your voice more evident.
“You’re taking your motorbike?”
“Mhmm!” Jungkook hums pleasantly, the background music in his brain going from calm elevator music to rising bass rift. He’s just about to bid you goodbye with a kiss after he wears his gloves but he’s stopped even before he could come near. You’ve already read his mind.
Your husband knows it when you put your arms across your chest, nodding towards the cabinet with a tone that leaves no room for counterarguments.
“Go wear your full gear.”
“But the breakfast place isn’t even that far,” Jungkook whines, head tilting back. His gear was literally hot, protecting him from sunlight yet physically making him boil inside. 
“I want you in one piece.”
“You want me?” Jungkook cheekily grins, eyebrows wagging incessantly with his arms outstretched. That’s it! If he could just act cuter and be a little more-
“Go wear your gear.”
“I look goofy,” he mutters, eyes downcast. The longer he goes without blinking, the faster he knows that he’s going to stick to your words.
“You look safe,” you smile in success when you put his helmet on, securing it extra tightly that draws a whine from him.
Jungkook frowns but he knows that you’re right as always, a relieved sigh coursing throughout his whole body because who knew where he’d end up without you.
“Ride safe, Jungkook. I mean it. Don’t pull any tricks,” you glare pointedly at him, recounting all of the near misses he had from wanting to be adventurous, be it a trip downstairs to the refrigerator or in the middle of a main thoroughfare.
“I promise not to pull a wheelie on the highway, yes,” Jungkook mockingly salutes you, drawing out a faux disappointed sigh from you.
“You’re forgetting something.”
Was he really? Jungkook furrows his brows in confusion, smacking his lips when he seems to get the gist of it. He walks towards you, puckering his lips to the max because he doesn’t want to headbutt you with a solid helmet for just a smooch, landing a gentle kiss on your cheek. 
You appreciate it, but Jungkook’s not quite right.
“No, not that.”
“What?” he seems taken aback, suddenly realizing. “Oh!” he giggles, raising up his right hand in a pledge. “I promise to text you when I get there.”
“Good.”
You have to put more strength to drag Jungkook by the helmet, angling your head to the side to kiss so he doesn’t knock you in the forehead with the extremely safe (and extremely bulky) helmet you got him.
Jungkook smiles in contentment, clearing his throat as he revs his engine. It’s all good then. He had become worried in silence because your three years of marriage were approaching and got scared because what if you grew bored of him already?
Jungkook worries that he’ll mess things up with you one day, but with the way he can see you waving at him frantically on his side mirror when he just left, it’s okay. 
He knows you still love him.
( ♡ )
Hoseok’s your most talented and trusted metalsmith.
His work ethic’s unparalleled, your vision only coming into fruition through his support and skill. He’s indispensable to you, your place in the direction of your family’s business cemented by Hoseok’s aid.
Hoseok as both an artist and your employee is different from Hoseok as your friend. Both are cunning but the latter is more ruthless, the lines being blurred every now and then. He loves his job, don’t get him twisted at all — in fact, he trusts you as a boss and the company beyond comprehension that he doesn’t bear any tact for anyone who threatens either.
Not even for Jungkook.
“A collab, huh?” Hoseok squints, looking through the portfolio you’ve handed him. There’s already projected numbers that your analysts have predicted for you but he pays the papers no mind. He clicks his tongue, looking up at you with an unreadable expression. “A streetwear brand wants a limited-edition collection with us?”
Jungkook clears his throat, timidly raising his hand. He’s always known that Hoseok’s standoffish to literally everyone except you, but what he can’t take is being talked about like he isn’t in the same room.
“Uhm, I’m Y/N’s husband.”
“Well you’re the owner of that streetwear brand, aren’t you?” Hoseok raises a brow at him, tilting his head. He looks drastically bored, his tongue poking his cheek.
Jungkook blinks, not exactly knowing where this was going but he doesn’t like it one bit. “Yes, but I’m also her husband.”
“Okay?” Hoseok tilts his head, eyes already exhausted from the conversation. You know that look on him, the one that tells you he’s bored to death and is itching to shut up the nearest person to him. “What does that have to do with anything?”
Jungkook rarely gets flustered by anyone else besides you and this time, it’s the bad kind. The embarrassment he gets from just conversing with Hoseok makes him feel like he’s an inconvenience, unease settling into his stomach. Jungkook wishes he couldn’t be so perceptive to know that despite Hoseok’s eyes normally being unreadable, his gaze now on his sketches can be read as underwhelmed.
“Well I-I mean, I’m hearing a lot of us and it sounds like you and Y/N, not me and Y/N,” he licks his lips, recognizing the insecurity that sticks to his tone like honey. Not only does he feel insulted as an artist, he also feels insufficient as a husband.
“That is what I’m saying though,” Hoseok trails off, hand vaguely gesturing for Jungkook to fill in the rest of the blanks. When he doesn’t, Hoseok does it for him. “It’s me and Y/N seeing this brand through. Not you and her.”
Jungkook blinks once, twice.
Hoseok isn’t wrong. No matter how much pain it brings Jungkook to admit it, Hoseok isn’t wrong. Your marriage may be for you and him alone, but your company– your artistry is only yours as much as it’s Hoseok’s. He has no place here and he feels it, his initial confidence that the collaboration he proposed was going to pass already dwindling by the millisecond.
“Hoseok’s right,” you cough, breaking their conversation. The tension was already too thick and you’ve barely made it halfway to looking at the entirety of the portfolio. “Reel it in, Jungkook.”
He’s jealous. He’s jealous and he forgot just how pathetic and insufficient one could feel when the green monster of heartburn decides to make an appearance. Jungkook just about doubts everything, from thinking of how your admiration for Hoseok is probably much higher than the admiration you have for him, to thinking if you even benefit from being arranged to him.
Hoseok looks over the designs, noting all the details silently.
“Huh. I see,” he hums, clearing his throat to try and keep all the crass words he has in mind to himself because you’re looking at him intently. “Skulls. Haven’t seen this one before.”
“You sketched this?” Hoseok nods every now and then, holding up the paper that had deep indents of the pencil on the paper to the point that it defeats the concept of a sketch. Your husband nods, and he wishes he hadn’t because Hoseok comments not a second later. “Figures.”
He hums, silently approving here and there of some concepts he could totally get behind. It’s not all rubbish content, but he can’t say that salvageable automatically equates to commendable.
“So? What do you think, Hobi?” you ask when the silence has gone long enough, having noticed that Jungkook already grew too quiet in your corner.
Hoseok calculates in his brain, looking from the portfolio and back to you. He tries not to clench his jaw for the sake of you silently pleading him to mince his words and actions, clasping his hands together.
“Yeah, it’s doable,” he nods, making Jungkook smile despite his ego being a little wounded. He’s bounced back miraculously, profusely thanking Hoseok with an unexplained eagerness to him. Before Jungkook could launch himself to further possibilities though, Hoseok calls for you.
“Y/N? A word, please?”
Jungkook looks back from the door, hesitant doe eyes flitting between the two of you. You don’t know exactly what’s going through his mind but you know better than to project, bidding him goodbye for the timebeing. “It’ll be quick.”
The most commendable trait you can attribute to Hoseok besides being your friend is his passion for your craft. He’s vision-oriented in the sense that he cuts straight to the chase before he could even lose the trail that the sudden burst of fervor leaves him.
“Meridian’s your baby. It’s your grandmother’s grandmother’s baby. It’s coveted. It has meaning,” Hoseok rambles, the sigh leaving him more concerned than it was relieved at being let out. He can’t mince his words now — he can’t put it in any other way besides the truth. “Collaborating with Jungkook cheapens it.”
“Hoseok.”
Your tone edges on a bite, clenching your jaw as you try to take everything in. Hoseok’s been your voice of reason for so long but you don’t know how to accept that voice now, the tinge of guilt slowly staining you because the back of your mind tells you that he isn’t wrong.
Jungkook’s streetwear brand is huge; whether or not you chalk it up to his name being linked to his family’s holding company that’s responsible for other designer brands, your husband’s brand specifically remains larger than life. It’s not a flawless brand, that much you’re sure of, but it’s still of great value.
Just perhaps not of the same degree that Hoseok holds your company to.
“It’s not all bad, but most of his work is dispassionate. It’s typical. Meridian would look cheap if you commit to this fever dream collaboration.”
There’s a rash on your neck, one that’s warm and speaks to your ear of how shitty it must feel to even agree partially to what Hoseok’s saying. Your duties as an artist in the business rarely clash with your courtesies as Jungkook’s wife — today just happens to be one of those days.
“It’s Jungkook’s idea, okay?” you relent, voice low as if in defeat of admission. You don’t mean to belittle him, you just happen to know and listen to reason. “It’s not the best, I know, but it’s honest work. Let’s give him a chance.”
“You’re giving him a chance because he’s your husband, not because you see any potential.”
Hoseok says it without uttering nor a single sense of doubt. He sounds so definite that you don’t even know if he’s still insulting Jungkook or if he’s insulting you at this point, swallowing your words.
There’s truth to your craft but you know there’s an even bigger truth to the unspoken protectiveness you have over Jungkook, the answer sounding seemingly shallow but that’s what it really is — love makes you shallow as much as it makes you deep.
“You’ll know when you’re married.”
“Arranged would be the term for you and Jungkook. Not married,” Hoseok quips. “You’re only holding back your critique. We both know it’s a dead end when it comes to creative direction.”
The both of you leave it at that, the decision being unanimous to collaborate with Jungkook despite your metalsmith’s hesitance. What you say goes, that’s just how hierarchy works. 
Unbeknownst to you and Hoseok though, Jungkook’s been listening the whole time — that’s just how love operates sometimes; hidden and relinquished.
( ♡ )
Jungkook’s hurt.
How crude of Hoseok to think of him that way. How worse of you to agree even.
Jungkook’s irrational when he’s hurt, refusing to see reason. He knows at the back of his head that he’s hit a rut and pitching in a collaboration with your brand is his last-ditch attempt in sparking something. Cheap was a word for tackiness and to have your friend use it on him brings him to a new low.
It’s just jewelry. What you make is just jewelry. Just pieces of metal bended and soldered together with shiny gems that don’t possess any real meaning to them besides superficial.
It’s not that deep.
Not that deep to the point that when Hyejoo, his childhood friend turned actress turned fleeting appearance in his life every now and then (whom you hate for some reason), asks him for a favor — Jungkook barely hesitates.
Hyejoo stands before him in a shirt from his brand’s limited collection, one out of the only hundred ever made. If Jungkook recalls correctly, he didn’t even send any items from the limited collection to any of his friends; he left everyone besides you to go fend for themselves.
Perhaps his childhood friend’s truly a fan of his craft, knowing her for her utmost support towards all his releases. To be honest, the two of them aren’t even that close anymore to the point that they’re each other’s first friend to think of in dire circumstances, except now — now when she needs him for a favor.
“But I need a pink ring for the event, Jungkook!” Hyejoo whines, throwing her head back for dramatic effect. Truth be told, she knew no brand that had pink jewelry that was elegant enough for her taste except yours. She’s turned down sponsorships all for a ring you probably keep in your sock drawer. “Yes I can buy from other brands but you’re there, Kook. You’re available and I can borrow from you because your wife has a shit ton.”
Jungkook knows what Hyejoo’s talking about. It’s the one pink ring that you wore on your engagement party with him and it’s become the talk of everyone from how ethereal you looked, the one tiny piece of jewelry tying it all together.
He knows it’s pink and he knows it’s just hidden away in its jewelry box, one that you keep right next to his collection of watches. There was no fancy vault for it either, just tucked next to his timepieces as if they were of the same value.
“Come on, she won’t even notice,” Hyejoo urges him, making him inwardly cringe. She turned up on his front door unannounced asking for a favor and he feels indebted her for the last time she granted him one, the apartment complex that Hyejoo owned becoming the perfect backdrop to his collection that’s still renowned to this day.
Jungkook’s loyal, he knows he is. His loyalties lie with you and he still honors his debt — whether or not you’re caught in the middle. It’s true that you won’t even notice, you don’t even peek at it anyway! For someone who’s a part of a family of jewelers, you rarely accessorize yourself gaudily.
“Fine. I’ll let you borrow,” Jungkook mutters, finally relenting to Hyejoo’s requests. He opens the door wider, on the way to your shared bedroom but looks back hastily at Hyejoo to point a stern finger. “But give it back, okay?”
It takes a great amount of strength for Jungkook to even hand the ring to Hyejoo, not even including the box with her because a) you would know that it was missing, and b) he wants her to wear it at all times until she gives it back the next day. Jungkook takes it personally to flick her wrist to serve as a reminder that he had given it to her already, even going so far to take a picture of the two of them and make her sign on his notes app.
He’s not necessarily betraying you — or so he thinks. It was just jewelry that you wouldn’t miss, same as the shirts that he gives away to his friends. Their retail prices may be lightyears away but you would understand; you always do.
Jungkook gaslights himself into thinking that he did no wrong but the guilt is what slowly gnaws on him, the tips of his fingers going numb every time he looks at you. 
Come to think of it, his decision to lend your ring to Hyejoo was out of sheer pettiness even without the assurance that you’ll take notice of it. His hurt over Hoseok’s comment disappeared the moment he handed her your ring, but to his surprise, it’s anxiousness that replaces his irritation.
He kisses you good night still as if today didn’t happen; how his irrationality had gotten the best of him when he got hurt by Hoseok’s remarks over his passion and creativity, and just a few hours later, it’s his impulsiveness and misplaced urge for vindication that lent your unsuspecting ring to his childhood friend.
“Jungkook!” you yell out in panic, urging him awake instantly that his heart beats incessantly despite being pulled out of sleep. You look frantic, the rawness in your eyes not from your lack of sleep, but instead from tears. “Call 911. The Interpol! The CIA! The fucking Blue House!”
“What?! What happened?!”
He’s panicked just as you are, hands shakily clutching his phone. He looks you up and down and inspects you for injuries to which there are none, nothing but overwhelm making your body shake.
Jungkook can’t bear to see you so glum and helpless, your bottom lip trembling as you look at him feeling nothing but pathetic.
“My ring,” you whisper brokenly, the phantom feeling of wearing it making you sob even more. “My ring is gone.”
Jungkook’s mouth dries, the panic in his own body turning against himself, his remorse growing into something larger than life. He could physically see the confusion on your face on the way he paled, his phone dropping out of his hold.
Your husband’s hands reach for you but you don’t take them, recoiling even before he could open his mouth. Jungkook was readable — too readable to the point that you wish he had lied to your face instead.
“I-I can explain.”
Jungkook weakens by the knees when the words drape from the tip of his tongue, your chest sucking in an inhale so sharp that he gets weakened by the force of it. “I lent it to Hyejoo.”
You’re quiet, the type of rage in you simmering ever so slowly that it builds to an immense heat. You don’t know if you can ever muster to look at Jungkook in the eye, your middle finger that knows the grooves of your ring twitching in muscle memory.
“You what?” you croak, tilting your head. You know what you’ve heard but you just wish you’re mistaken this time, cursing your own accuracy. “Who told you that you could do that?” 
Jungkook’s cornered in his mind and he spews the first thing in his mind, no matter how stupid it sounded.
“Yours is mine and mine is-…”
“That doesn’t apply here! You’re so fucking-…” you just about burst in the seams, clenching your jaw so hard to the point that you give yourself a headache. You’re resolute this way, the pitiful look on your husband’s face not getting a single drop of remorse from you. “Get it back.”
You wouldn’t have lent it to anyone regardless if Jungkook asked you, but you would have considered at the very least. For him to take something so special to you and loan it to someone you’re not even fond of ticks a wire in your brain, your anger coming before the sadness fully hits.
“Y/N!” he hisses, angry at both the situation and himself but he now thinks of the courtesy that he didn’t possess when Hyejoo borrowed your ring. “I can’t turn back on my word.”
“What? Your word that favors Hyejoo and shits on mine?” you scoff in disbelief, laughing at the mockery Jungkook makes of you. It’s insulting and saddening and you can’t even begin to think of the extensive cleaning and safekeeping you’ll have to do once you get your ring back. “I said, get it back. You’re my husband and you’re just her friend, you have all the means to take my ring back.”
Jungkook turns somber, a stark contrast to your anger. He pleads with you, finally closing the gap between you to which you roll your eyes.
“The event is tonight. She’ll return it tomorrow. Please, it’ll be embarrassing.”
“For you or for her?” you ask but the rage in your voice is already simmering, the daunting thoughts of how Jungkook thinks of his friend’s sake and himself first than his wife making you clench your fists around nothing.
“Y/N, please.”
His incessant begging does little to influence your decision because you’ve already changed your mind, the rage that dipped in you and the fact that your heart’s already aching despite having just woken up converting you instead.
“Tomorrow morning. I want it back in the case before I wake up.”
The two of you sleep apart for the night and Jungkook can’t even bring himself to contest it knowing that he doesn’t deserve to hold you. He simmers in self-loathing, unable to sleep the night when his phone dings from the notifications it has of your name.
Hyejoo’s look on the carpet trends the whole night, the main focus of everyone being the pink ring that adorns her ring finger. There’s threads of speculations how you and her are either best friends or how she must’ve bought it from you. If only he could, Jungkook would reply to each comment saying that Hyejoo doesn’t hold a candle to your elegance and how the ring has always been yours — that it’s his fault that his friend’s even wearing the same piece.
He’s restless and he can’t even begin to think how much more tired you feel. Of your name being brought up and of him royally fucking up. 
When Jungkook thinks it couldn’t be worse, karma one-ups him from the very mistake he committed when he entertained Hyejoo’s favor in his mind.
“You’re stupid,” you spit to Hyejoo who stands on your porch, head downturned in shame. She had half the decency to face you personally but lacks the rest to honor her end of the bargain; she lacks the intellect to respect you.
She lost the ring. She lost the pink ring you’ve treasured and cared for since you were a teenager, losing it after a careless and drunk decision of skinny dipping. You feel like you’ve been made a fool not only by your husband, but also by his friend that you don’t care for at all.
The tears fall out of your eyes in anger, each one being in a rush to exit because you’re full of resentment at this point.
“You’re a brainless, stupid, careless fucking idiot. I don’t want to see you in my household again,” you point at her, making her step back.
“This is Jungkook’s-…” she squeaks, just about to correct you when you point at her even more menacingly. You’re not even joking around as it seems like, eyes angry to the point that they lack of love, even for Jungkook who tries to hold you back.
“I’ll get a restraining order on you.”
Hyejoo scurries out all with the promise to reimburse you (as if she has the money to do so) that falls on deaf ears, your hand slamming the door too hard that your husband swears the walls shook with your force.
You look unrecognizable with the sheer disappointment you have for him, your anger dripping off of you thickly that he’s rendered speechless.
“You,” you seethe. “I fucking hate you.”
You never told him that before.
You’ve gotten mad at him on several occasions but never to this degree where you tell him that you loathe him. This is the furthest that you’ve took it, the honesty behind your words making his bottom lip tremble.
Jungkook’s eyes have been perpetually moist since last night but it’s only now that his eyes sting with white hot sadness. You’re only reacting out of your state of overwhelm; you must be, right?
“I hate you so, so much, Jungkook.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“No, I really mean that,” you scoff to his face, shaking your head in absoluteness. “What would you do if I sold your car, huh?”
Jungkook wants to apologize to you so bad but he doesn’t have the right words to give you the proper one that you deserve. He gives you an answer off the top of his head, the disappointment for himself growing if he does otherwise.
“It’s just a car.”
“Well this is just not a fucking ring to me! It’s not simple like that!” you burst, your movements jerky.
“I’ll buy you a new ring,” he whispers, wanting to tug at his hair for being so stupid. He should’ve considered the possibility that Hyejoo has a knack for being careless; he failed to account that he went behind your back to lend your ring to someone else in the first place.
“I can buy my own rings!” you exclaim. “What you don’t get is that this means the world to me! If your uncle gave you a car, and I gave it to someone else and now it’s on the bottom of the ocean, what would you feel?”
“It’s just a car from my uncle. I can replace it. I can buy a better one.”
Jungkook knows he’s just making excuses. He’s just being defensive now that he’s cornered and has no excuse for behaving so poorly. He can’t escape the anger and the disappoint he’s flooded with, not when you cry out of sheer distress.
“Not if my aunt isn’t here! Not if this ring is one of the only things I have of her!”
Sure, your aunt was dodgy. She’s the black sheep of your family and had done more than a lot of questionable things, but she cared for you. She had given you her own ring when you were twelve and whilst it was too big for you to wear, she gave you a chain for you to wear it around your neck.
The ring is something you can easily replicate but the thought behind it is what you can’t take back. It’s not the only piece of her that you have but it’s one of the earliest things you obtained; one of the most notable pieces out of the bunch.
“You don’t think. You don’t care. You don’t love.” 
For Jungkook to carelessly seize it from you and loan it to someone else grips your heart like a vice. You’re gonna dwell on it for more than a couple of days and realize that you have more sentimental and elegant things you have of your aunt eventually — but what matters to you is how you feel now. How Jungkook had disappointed you so bad, you feel like throwing up.
“I want to divorce you,” you seethe, meaning your words at the heat of the moment. Jungkook stands frozen, hearing his own heartbeat thrum in his ears. “I can find a new husband. What I can’t find — what neither you nor Hyejoo can’t find is my ring.”
( ♡ )
You do it while he’s sleeping.
You take advantage of Jungkook’s fatigue and disorientation from crying his eyes out, passed out in the couch while he hugs himself with his arms to try and replicate your embrace. It’s already morning and it only looks like he slept just minutes ago, positively dozed off.
You take much care in slipping of the platinum wedding ring from his finger, joining your discarded one in your palm. There’s only carelessness when you scoop them into a tiny drawstring bag, taking it to Hoseok and doing a regular work day as if your head hadn’t pounded with hurt just last night.
It’s only convenient for the both of you; Jungkook’s decision slingshots back to him, and your client would be happy. Hoseok texted you last night asking if he should grant the request of a high-profile client with a titanium pendant, and it just so happens that you have two chunks of it that you no longer need. It could be melted and repurposed — after all, it’s just jewelry according to Jungkook.
The guilt of your impulsiveness doesn’t hit you instantly, it only comes with confusion when you see your husband in shambles.
When you come home, the whole house is upturned. Jungkook’s frantic, waking up to a hand that bears no wedding ring; no proof of you. His eyes glaze with relief briefly when he sees you, urging you to take in the situation fully.
“The police. The CIA! Interpol! MI6 — or is it MI7? Fuck, Mr. Bean’s movie was too good! Get the Blue House on the line!” he blubbers, looking back and forth the cushions of the couch and his hand. “My wedding ring!”
It’s perhaps a ballsy move made on your part, but you can’t guilt yourself into bearing the blame. You made your wedding rings and it only makes sense for you to get rid of them. The bands are symbolic, made and upheld with love for the last two years but in your haste of upset, you’ve given them away.
You perhaps regret it slightly, the fog in your brain lifting but only faintly. You’re still mad and disappointed at Jungkook, and perhaps you don’t mean the bit of divorcing him, but you do mean wholeheartedly the sentimentality you have behind all your jewelry.
The platinum in your ring finger just felt too heavy last night that you grew weary of it, not thinking twice when you removed yours and Jungkook’s. Even if the two of you make up and you don’t end up divorcing Jungkook, you wouldn’t want to wear the same ring that brought you the same pain during its stint.
“I sold them,” you answer, turning your back on him before you could see the anguish in his face. “We have no need for them.”
( ♡ )
Jungkook’s making you a rice bowl as an apology.
Buttered fried rice, egg, bacon, and all with a generous amount of cheese. It’s his hangover food when he needs something greasy and filling but the only difference from his past hangovers and your anger at him is the latter barely feels like it could be rectified.
He says his apologies again through the door and he’ll happily repeat it to your face if you stand longer in front of him for more than a minute, his panic even larger than the oil splashes he’s gotten from making your bacon eagerly.
“I’m so sorry, baby. It was stupid of me to lend your ring to Hyejoo behind your back and I swear I won’t do it again. I know that ring meant a lot to you and I-I was so pathetic by invalidating that,” he mutters through the door, looking at the frying pan every now and then to make sure he wasn’t burning anything. “I have every intention of finding your ring and making it up to you, cross my heart!”
It feels insulting, even. For him to think that he could change the ache of your heart with a simple hot meal. Jungkook realizes that he really is dense when you don’t answer the door for the twenty minutes that he knocks. When you do open up, he feels even more dumb.
Just twenty minutes ago, he wired you twice the amount of the worth you estimated your aunt’s ring to be. Combined with the pitiful amount Hyejoo wires you, it’s then do you realize that you’re not fazed by money. The initiative is there, sure, but the ache in your heart hasn’t subsided completely.
You do miss Jungkook. It does tug at your heartstrings to see and hear him beat himself up over and over again the more you realize that you’re attached to your aunt’s memories rather than the ring itself, but just two nights away from each other won’t absolve everything he’s done and failed to do.
When you open the door, you’re greeted by the sight of your husband who tries far too hard for his own good. Melancholy isn’t a good look on him because he looks the most unkempt he’s ever appeared in two days than the two years you’ve been living with him under the same roof.
Jungkook waits for you to register his attempt, holding up a hot bowl with his bare hands that you resist the urge to take it from him for a second. His ring finger’s occupied by a cheap mood ring, rapidly turning red at the moment from the heat of the bowl.
You look down fully expecting to be swayed even just a little bit, but when you do, you feel the kick to just slam the door right back.
“I hate runny eggs,” you scowl. “Two years married and you don’t even know how I like my eggs cooked.”
Jungkook wants the ground to swallow him whole. 
He wishes that if it was true that chickens are the last true descendants of dinosaurs, there’d be a chicken the same size as them that pecks him into oblivion.
He hurriedly turns on the stove and scoops up the egg back into it, careful not to have any of the runny folk get on your meal. He itches in frustration, his ring finger that’s temporarily adorned with a cheap and clunky mood ring being accurate by turning blue in sadness.
Jungkook’s so out of it, so disappointed in himself that he doesn’t notice he cooks the egg until it’s burnt, the char of it reflecting how poorly he thinks of himself now.
It’s like when you were disappointed in him that time when his outlandish aunt made a rude comment about you and you were speechless the whole night that he stayed silent. He remedied it by later groveling at your feet and marching to his aunt and laying out all of his intentions for her to grow up and apologize to you, the same aunt that’s now blacklisted from all the gatherings.
It’s like when you were upset at him when he left abruptly in the morning and didn’t tell you where he was going because he didn’t know if you would care, partying it up in a different country for his friend’s bachelor’s party and coming home a day later with you hot on his heels. Jungkook made it up to you by once again apologizing profusely and updating you on his whereabouts since then (sometimes he gives too much information), always making it a point to bring two powerbanks with him so he can text you when he’s left and arrived.
This time though, he doesn’t know how exactly to make it up to you. He’s been in contact with professional divers to try and look for the ring for you, but he can’t be of much help until he comes along to know for sure. He’s thinking of all these different ways and approaches but he’s unsure if any of them are sufficient enough to rectify his mistake.
Jungkook feels pathetic because he swears he loves you and knows everything about you, but here he is — crying about how he doesn’t even know how you like your eggs cooked.
You’re upset at him, and he can’t do anything right for you.
( ♡ )
Jungkook tries again at dinner.
It’s the day of Meridian’s 100th anniversary and the two of you play it up for the cameras, your husband’s attention on you so keen and affectionate that you almost forget you were supposed to be mad at him.
He takes advantage of the cameras during the carpet session, tugging you close with his hand on your waist as he seizes the chance to hug you tightly at the end when you enter the hall with no cameras in place. He breathes you in as he always does, hesitant to let you go and exhale because you’re the very scent and existence of love.
Jungkook studied, of course he did. He’s touched up on his jewelry knowledge because he’s more than desperate now to seek your validation, nervously smiling all around as he waits for people to stop approaching you in your table.
His attention’s fixed on your necklace, the stone on it similar to the very ring he lent and lost. He’s brought it up about five times already, animatedly reciting trivia about it as if you’re not the literal face of the jewelry industry. He clears his throat, leaning in for you to whisper intimately, but just loud enough for the other people to hear a tad. 
“Ah, that pink sapphire looks so good on you, babe.”
“Shut up,” you mutter sharply, making Jungkook’s heart skip a beat. You melted against him when he was hugging you, that much he was sure of. He doesn’t know why you’ve become harsh again all of a sudden, forgetting that his lapse this time was opening his mouth. “Stop saying that.”
“Saying what?” his brows furrow, swallowing the lump on his throat. “Pink?” he guesses, eyes wavering as he tests the waters. “Pink sapphire?”
It takes a lot in you not to make an outburst. Truth be told, you’ve started easing up on Jungkook but his attempts at trying hard is just too much and in the wrong direction, hearing pink sapphire over and over again reminding you of the ring you lost.
“Yes, that! Stop talking.”
“But I did my homework! Of course I’m not gonna stop talking,” he defends himself, the nervousness rising to his throat like bile. God, what if he did the wrong homework? What if he’s missed the assignment all along?
“Clearly you didn’t try hard enough because you’re wrong, Jungkook. This isn’t a pink sapphire — this is a pink diamond.”
Jungkook’s brain stops functioning for a solid five seconds, his mouth drying. The only proof that he was still breathing is his big eyes threatening to water.
“And so is my ring that you gave to your friend without asking me,” you add.
“What?!” he sputters in disbelief, recounting to all the other times he named the gem in multiple occasions even before today. “B-but I said it so many times before! You didn’t even correct me!”
“I didn’t correct you because you looked so proud of yourself!” you exclaim, surrendering with a sigh. Pink sapphire was the first gem that Jungkook had managed to name in your trivia night on the first month of your marriage, his avidness on getting it “right” so contagious that you didn’t have the heart to correct him.
“Pink sapphire is dirt cheap compared to pink diamonds, Jungkook! You just keep saying sapphire over and over again because it’s your birthstone,” you mumble, looking around to see if there were any people growing nosy at your conversation. “I let you say it over and over again to the point that I wore them instead of diamonds because you just can’t shut up about them,” you grit. 
This is the only time you reference your sentiment with the jewelry itself in words, your last profession of your disappointment in him being the removal of your wedding bands.
 “That’s the thing with you — you can’t tell. This isn’t just about emerald o-or octagon cuts, Jungkook. This is our marriage and you gave a girl that I don’t like my ring that meant so much to me! Now you can’t get it back.”
Jungkook’s speechless, holding back tears. You fear you’ll cry yourself when you look at his round, pleading eyes so you don’t, squeezing in the last word even if he always lets you have it.
“And now I’m correcting you because you’re embarrassing me. Now please, lay off with the gem terms.”
( ♡ )
Things have been tame between you and Jungkook.
You’ve aired out your grievances and Jungkook’s still trying hard as always, perplexing you because he hasn’t gone restless. It’s progressively warmer between the two of you but it’s nowhere near to what the two of you used to be, the air between the two of you going static that you’ve utilized it for your own.
It’s just a quick getaway for the day, hopping aboard a yacht with the intention of giving yourself a break. You’ve reflected enough but not alone with yourself, the period of space with Jungkook being much-needed.
Until you’re mistaken of course.
You think your mind’s playing tricks on you when the boat rocks more than it would with waves, but the all too familiar figure coming into your vision turns out to be real. It’s Jungkook in the flesh, wearing his scuba suit and gear.
It’s a pure coincidence that is. All Jungkook knew was that you were going on a yacht today and you didn’t specify where; meanwhile, all you knew was that he was going to be scuba diving, but he didn’t specify where either.
It’s purely kismet but your bodyguard Taehyung doesn’t seem to think so, legitimately thinking it was a pirate instead of your husband so he repeatedly smacks him with an oar until you stop him.
“Jungkook!” you call out, getting your bodyguard to stop. Atleast he has the decency to look sheepish, but he was genuinely concerned! He thought you were being hijacked by someone dressed in the most unassuming scuba suit, holding a plastic bag in his hands.
Your husband barely winces from the pain because he’s high from all the adrenaline, chest rising rapidly in succession. “Y/N, baby, I — hold on, I’m gonna, wait-…”
He looks tired still but there’s a light to him, either his radiance has come back or it was just the sun behind him but either way, it was nice to look at Jungkook who isn’t groveling at your feet for once.
He finally catches his breath, standing up to his full height as he tries not to ramble his words.
“I bought all the fish.”
“You did what?” your eyes widen, pathetically looking at the vast ocean around you. Perhaps you’re so startled (and amused) by Jungkook’s sudden and silly appearance that you forgot to apply common sense, just as breathless as he is.
“Okay maybe not all, but I did buy a lot of fish,” he concedes, nodding incessantly. He’s too excited that he can’t contain himself, even more-so when you finally look at him without disdain staining your features.
“For what?” you ask, genuinely curious.
Jungkook smiles, never having been more proud retelling you his previous failure.
“Your favorite seafood restaurant? I bought them their stock, provided that they’ll open up every last fish in there to see if they had your ring,” he shrugs as if it’s a common thought process to abide by, later shaking his head. “They don’t.”
If there’s just one trait that Jungkook had to be known with by everyone, it would be his persistence.
Jeon Jungkook is endearingly, cloyingly, and annoyingly persistent with the things he desires and the things he’s passionate about. You’re his wife — you’re his every last desire and passion. He had wronged you fresh from a week and some days ago but that timeframe has already given him ample time to fully redeem himself.
He can’t undo what he did. He can’t reverse the time he lent his wife’s ring to his friend who loses it not a full day later. Jungkook can’t take back any of the things he did but what he can do is be dedicatedly persistent in correcting himself.
He’s tanner, his muscles are bulged and straining, and his skin’s itchy with all the salt but he takes all of these things in stride — he’s become a better person through persistence.
“I also tried snorkeling for a week and I still couldn’t find it,” he trails, biting his bottom lip while he clasps his hands behind his back. “But I tried again today.”
It’s either relief or endearment that fills your face full, but nonetheless, the light that Jungkook sees from you lulls him to the comfort and warmth he’s been yearning from you for the past week. His eyes are strained and his body feels itself moving in waves as if he was still underwater, but he just closes his eyes to savor the moment.
You bound to him to put him in an embrace, your husband instantly melting in your hold. It’s either all the salt in his eyes or it’s just the realization that you’ve finally forgiven him and it’s all the love he feels for you, but either way, you hold Jungkook tighter.
“I found your ring.”
( ♡ )
You don’t know when Jungkook first loved you.
You can’t pinpoint an exact moment when Jungkook started acting differently towards you because he’s always been the same way from day one, the same qualities that make him both annoying and endearing having been there from the start.
You could always ask but you can’t bring yourself to. It shouldn’t bother you at the end of the day because the important thing is that Jungkook loves you. He loves without reservations, the pinnacle of his love language being his patheticness in trying hard.
Jeon Jungkook may try hard for everyone, but he tries the most for you.
He wakes up early and you only realize his absence when you turn to pat the warm space he’s supposedly left behind, making you rub the sleep out of your eyes. 
You wonder for a second that if Jungkook left the bed early and is quiet at the moment, he’s probably at the bottom of the staircase again because he yawned while going down. There’s no schedule today for either of you and you aren’t sick for him to make any sudden trips downstairs, his absence making you wonder this time.
There’s clanging coming from the garage, piquing your interest largely. There sits Jungkook wearing less safety gear that you’d like, blocks and blocks of wood surrounding him.
Your husband looks up, unassuming as usual while he breaks out into a grin.
“I’m making furniture for you.”
“That’s not necessary,” you snort, recounting all of the pieces you’ve acquired from your friend who’s an expert on woodcarving. Jungkook seems to know this too but he’s insistent, shaking his head eagerly.
His eyeglasses (his prescription ones instead of the actual safety ones) fog up from both his sweat and the few tears he’s shed out of frustration, taking them out so you could see the passion in his eyes. The passion’s definitely there, dampening his eyelashes and even tinting his eyelids pink.
“No, I’ll paint it up real good and it’ll blend it to your aesthetic.”
“Besides that, Jungkook,” you warn, coming down to squat on the space beside him. “You’re not good with tools.”
“Not good at them like Hoseok?” he questions, raising his brow. He’s frustrated and cranky and he just compared his (eager yet improper) use of large power tools compared to Hoseok’s expertise in using much, much smaller tools. Jungkook’s sweaty from all the effort, vaguely gesturing to the item in front of him. “Please, can Hoseok do it like me?” 
Your husband points to the lopsided bench (?) slash coffee table (?) slash abstract piece (?)  in front of you whose message is that they’re tired, only the scoopers for faux blood missing. It’s quite the spectacle. Not necessarily a statement piece because it raises more questions than any resolute takeaways at all.
“No, not really,” you joke around, winking to get the joke across your husband’s skull who sometimes reads between the lines too literally. “He can do it much, much better than you.”
“I’m trying to be romantic!” Jungkook whines with no real harm. “Go ahead, why don’t you divorce me and marry him because he’s so good with using a hammer?” 
The two of you were back; the same playfulness and warmth rekindling, if not stronger. Some things were just too strong to grow out of, such as Jungkook’s double takes when it comes to another name being linked to you.
He’s just making sure, still as desperate to gain your validation even before the ring incident took place.
“That was… a joke if you couldn’t tell,” Jungkook laughs robotically, eyes narrowing and widening at you every two seconds. “I’m just kidding. You knew that. You wouldn’t do that… right?”
You wouldn’t.
He knows that you love him. He had known it during his state of vulnerability and he knows it now even in a state of security. He knows it even without a wedding ring, your promise of making new ones for the both of you remaining in his mind.
The downfall of Jeon Jungkook wouldn’t be his persistence that also bears the ability to be his uprising, it was never that. Jungkook’s downfall would only be the loss of you and it’s the only absence that he can’t risk.
Your husband tries so hard that it brings you secondhand embarrassment at times, his mishap with the pink sapphire cementing in your mind just how much of himself he dedicates to you, even with lapses along the way.
Jungkook tries so hard that he ends the day with splinters on his hand and his sinuses clogged with far too much dust. His effort doesn’t always equate to the best but he gives what he always has when you’re in the equation.
It’s a wooden box for your rings, a shallow heart with your initials carved on the inside. It’s smooth even without the varnish, a stark contrast to his hands that are all rough from doing all the labor.
“I can’t give you jewelry that you already have.”
Jungkook admits to you whole-heartedly, sitting at the end of the bed while he watches you admire the box in your vanity.
“But I can make shirts for you. Stitch up your name real nicely on my chest pocket,” he offers, the smile on his lips growing. “I can make furniture for you,” he shrugs, chuckling at himself. “I can’t guarantee that it’s usable but I can make furniture a little.”
You smile so warmly that Jungkook forgets all of the little pains, melting away his fatigue. If you could put all the love you have for Jungkook in a single space, even the mansion the two of you reside in won’t be enough.
“Cooking too. I can also cook a-and make perfect rice and I promise to remember how you like your eggs in the morning.”
Jungkook knows it to heart by now, even without the reminder he’s written himself pasted on the counter. Your eyes were just so glossy and moist that Jungkook can’t help but to spring to your side, patting them dry with his shirt.
Your husband wipes away your tears even before they could form and it pushes them out further, the voice in your throat dwindling. It’s the cheap and rusting mood ring on his ring finger that gets you to sob, seeing the faint green outline that it leaves.
He takes notice of your observation, understanding that jewelry means much  more to you that he could comprehend which is why he’s quick to remedy your thoughts.
“I can always get tattoos of you if that’s what you want,” he continues, smiling sheepishly. “Actually, that’s what I want.”
Jungkook takes off his ring and it forces you to blink away your tears, lips parting open when it clicks.
It’s your initials on Jungkook’s ring finger, recognizing it as your own handwriting. 
You’re filled with a great amount of gratitude that runs even deeper than the ink on Jungkook’s skin, making you sniffle and it gets him to bury your face against his chest while he shushes you.
“Why would you get that?”
It belatedly hits you that since you took your wedding bands, your husband’s left ring finger had not been vacant since. 
“Because you sold our rings,” Jungkook shrugs, the look of ease on his face evident. “You sold them but we’re still married to each other,” he gently kisses your temple, letting you hold his hand to look at the tattoo closer. “We’re married. I still want people to know that I’m married to you.”
“Well,” you clear your throat, distraught with your emotions. “Your mood ring says you’re sad.”
“Passionate would be the term,” he sniffles, transferring the cheap ring to your finger. He giggles when it changes colors immediately, the timing of the situation being impeccable. “Okay now my ring says you’re happy.”
“Are you?” he asks whilst laughing but the both of you know it bears a weight.
“I am,” you answer just as seriously. “We’re okay, Jungkook. I forgive you.”
If you ask Jungkook what would his greatest joy and his greatest pain be, both answers would be you.
“Is your tattoo artist still around?” you ask while he puts you close to his chest, snapping him out of his trance.
“What for?”
“I think I want to match your permanent ring.”
“Are you real?” he mutters to himself, questioning your existence that he still isn’t sure if he deserves to have and love for the rest of his life. “Are you really real? You exist?”
“Yeah, he’s still around but I’d rather do it on you myself,” Jungkook answers eventually, returning the question. “Is that okay? Let me learn for a few months and I’ll tattoo my initials on you myself?”
You furrow your brows, not a single doubt placed on you if your husband was the one to tattoo you. “Yeah, but is that okay with you? You’re the only one who’s gonna have me on you for a couple more months. I can’t reciprocate because you want to ink me yourself.”
Jungkook only smiles, the warmth enough to outshine the sun.
“That’s not new to me,” he reassures you. “I loved you even before I married you.”
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craisinsensation1029 · 2 months
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Place Hands Here
Suguru Geto
originally posted on AO3! :) this was sugu's birthday fic :3
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fem reader, established relationship, vaginal sex, some dry humping, choking (geto), riding, referenced cannabis use
3.5k
MDNI
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“Thank you, baby,” Geto says with so much fondness in his voice as he rests his hand on your thigh and gives it an ample squeeze. The size of his hands never fails to amaze you, palms splaying and engulfing the thickness of your thighs with no issue; veins on his hands serving as a roadmap to the most handsome face you’ve ever seen.
It’s been a little over a year since you started dating, but his velvety voice still warms your chest nearly every time he speaks. It provides the same comfort as a blanket knitted with ounces and ounces of love; every stitch curated to provide your brain with a rush of dopamine. Gentle, yet every bit commanding and domineering. He can make a king hand over their throne to him with just a few words without even trying, you’re pretty sure.
“I had a great time,” he adds on, pressing a soft kiss to the temple of your forehead.
“You better have.” Resting your hand over his, your thumb brushes against the skin on the top of his palm. His skin is always smoother than yours, soft and supple like clouds floating through the bluest of skies. Every gentle graze of yours still manages to send a jolt down his spine. “Or else I would have cried.”
“Can’t have that, can we?” His soft chuckle fills the space in the back of the Uber you two are in. 
City lights illuminate the night as a comfortable silence falls over the two of you, soft patter of rain against the window mixed with the crooning of Radiohead filling the space. A sigh of content leaves your lips as your head rests on his shoulders, heavy from all the events of the day.
It’s been a great day—a long, but great day.
Time wanes, only about an hour remaining in the momentous day that is Geto’s birthday.
He’s a simple man, never asking for much and always appreciating what is given to him. It’s one of the things you love about him, but it also drives you up a wall. He knows this, always teasing you that there’s no reason to stress yourself out regarding his general satisfaction with however the day is celebrated. With you, anything is ideal.
Even if that means telling you again and again that there’s no need to worry about things being perfect when you’re already by his side. Still, his heart thumps knowing every little thing you do is with his joy in mind.
Like starting the day with a perfectly rolled joint and taking him to one of his favorite diners for breakfast. Large appetites fueled by cannabis were quelled with what he considered to be the best pancakes he’s ever tasted. Saccharine from the syrup giving him a needed rush as you whooshed him off to the next destination for the day. 
Serenity seeped into his bones as the masseuse worked all of the knots out of his back. Just a few feet away you also laid face down on a massage table, every kink rolled and flattened out. In the space between the table your fingers were intertwined, yours squeezing his just a little bit harder when the masseuse hit a particularly rough spot.
Celebrating another lap around the sun was always an occasion for indulgence. Another joint was shared, both of your consciousnesses melting like wax in your bodies as you whisked him away to the next activity. 
Empty canvases were soon filled with brilliant pastel hues as paintbrushes made calculated strokes. Geto always seemed to excel at most things, a picturesque sunset that looked like—no, probably looked even better than a postcard replacing the previously white surface. Yours looked more like a toddler having way too much fun using paint for the first time, but of course he paid you a compliment anyway. 
A quick lunch stop was followed by a limited rerelease of one of his favorite movies. He’s seen the movie hundreds of times by now, and even in the darkness of the movie theater you can still make out the crinkles by his eyes when he smiles at his favorite parts. It’s the boyish smile that you can never get enough of, the same one that makes your heart race and mind numb.
The day concluded with a free jazz concert in the park, sultry symphonies caressing your ears as you sat on a blanket in the grass cuddled up next to Geto. Yellow fairy lights adorned the tree as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, showering you with his gratitude for making sure he enjoyed every second of the day. 
Even as rain started to fall from the sky and shroud you both in a light layer of mist, he was still soaring high, enamored with every bit of effort you put into the day. Every nervous lip bite as you awaited his reaction to the next destination, the smile on your face when he kissed your lips and assured it was more than what he could have ever asked for made his heart swell. He even let out a laugh when you started pouting and apologizing at the shift in the weather, once again kissing away any of your worries.
As the Uber arrives at your shared apartment, he grabs both of your canvases and helps you out of the car. It’s a short walk to the door that you unlock, throwing your purse down on the kitchen island and leaving your shoes by the door. Feet relieved from the black platform boots you wore with a red, pleated miniskirt and long sleeved black cropped top, you let your body sink into the plush, velvet sofa in the living room. 
Geto follows your lead, taking off his shoes and sinking into the spot next to you. Finding more comfort in his body than the sofa you straddle him, pressing your chest against his. The soft contours of your body are always so malleable when in proximity to the defined ridges of his; warmth from his body always setting every one of your nerve endings ablaze. Just the simple movement of his hand brushing against your lower back is enough to make you writhe, a soft whimper escaping your lips. 
The melding of your bodies is akin to adjacent puzzle pieces, two parts that are meant to be together no matter the circumstances. One hand caresses the side of his face, fingertips dancing across porcelain skin while the other creeps beneath his shirt. His taut muscles ripple beneath your touch, heart starting to beat faster in his chest when you say, “You’re so beautiful, Suguru.”
“I love it when you say that.” It doesn’t matter how many compliments he receives from others when yours are the only ones that makes his cheeks flush. Only your words are capable of making him feel this coveted. “I’m so lucky to be yours.”
“So am I,” you answer, voice barely above a whisper. Chalking up your connection to either luck or fate has always been a debate warring in your mind, but in times like this when you’re staring into his smoldering gaze, you guess it really doesn’t matter. Strong arms encapsulate you tenderly, providing the space to be vulnerable without the fear of judgment. An irreplaceable bond that you know you’ll never share with anyone else.
His palms trace up the back of your thighs, traveling higher and higher until he securely has a grasp on both of your cheeks. He loves it when you wear skirts, eyes and hands always greedy to graze and grope at your thighs. His mind is always shameless, wandering to more sensual planes even in the most docile of moments. Instinctively you rock against him, core grinding against the erection growing in his jeans, a breathy pant leaving your lips.
“Bet that feels good,” he murmurs against your lips, thrusting his hips upward in tandem with your grinding. The rocking of your hips only makes his cock strain more in his jeans, the growing bulge only aiding in stoking the flames of your arousal. He groans when your hips start to move faster than his own, giving your ass a harder squeeze. “Shit, feels so good for me too, baby.”
The only thing you can feel is Geto, a thickness against your clothed cunt that’s already drenched through your panties, aching to be filled. With a whine you press your lips against his, simultaneously removing your hand from beneath his shirt to undo the buckle on his belt. Kissing him is like being served your favorite meal over and over again; the familiar taste of his mouth on your tongue never failing to be the most exquisite flavor. No variation is needed when the consistency he provides sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body that makes your back arch and toes curl. 
Hands move fast and lips move slow as your bodies chant a desperate plea to stay connected to each other. His tongue swipes along your bottom lip lasciviously as he gives your ass a hard squeeze, fingernails making soft crescent indents in your skin. It’s always a tantalizing kind of pain, one that only makes you moan and open your mouth to invite his tongue inside. Adjusting your heads so your lips are perfectly slotting against each other, your tongues collide as you manage to get the button of his jeans undone. 
The hand on his face moves to glide through his silky tresses as his tongue continues to caress yours. It’s give and take, letting your tongue push past his lips, sharing the combined taste of your desire. His eyes close as he revels in the feeling of your fingers on his scalp, scraping and pulling just the way he likes it. All the while your tongues still slide against each other, sinking deeper and deeper into a sea of ecstasy.
As desperate as you are to keep kissing him, to drown in the sea of euphoria that his lips provide, the need to have him stretch you out and fill you up takes precedence. His brow furrows when you abruptly pull your lips away, unsure if he suddenly did something wrong. While he thinks he might have squeezed just a bit too hard, the only problem is your own greed. Without words, you pull your shirt over your head and remove your bra. It’s muscle memory for his hands to reach out and touch your breasts, but your hands are already at the hem of his shirt, motioning for him to take it off. He easily complies, ridding himself of the material while you raise your hips to shimmy off your skirt and push the waistband of his boxer briefs down.
“Fuck,” he hisses when his cock slaps against his stomach, pearls of precome steadily leaking from the angry, red tip. He throws his head back momentarily, but snaps his attention forward when you grip him at the base. He can’t help but throb in your hand, and you swear he grows just a little bit harder when you squeeze his thick length firmly. He sucks in a breath as your hand begins to stroke him, thumb running over the slit and smearing his precome down the length of his shaft. A hot trail of spit drips from your mouth and onto his cock to ease any friction, providing a smooth motion for your hand to continue working him.
“You’re so big, Sugu,” you coo, and he throbs in your hand again. His back sinks further into the sofa as you continue stroking him, only sounds filling the room are his soft pants and the slick of your hand moving up and down his cock. Another part of him that you’ll never get tired of. Every time his cock twitches in your grasp you can feel your own heat pulsing, and you know there’s only one solution. 
Pushing the crotch of your panties aside, you rest one hand on his shoulder for balance as you line your entrance up with his cock. “Easy, baby,” he advises, moving one hand from your ass to hold his cock steady for you as you sink onto his inches. It’s a tearing sensation every time he enters you, a pressure that always makes you whine as you sink your head into the crook of his neck.
“Always so tight for me,” he hisses as his cocks sinks deeper into your heat, stretching out your walls in the most delicious way. Your hands wrap around his neck, breaths become shallow as you adjust to his girth inside of you. His hand returns to your cheek once he’s fully seated inside you, tip of his cock brushing against your sweet spot. “Fuck, your pussy was just made for me, you know that?” he breathes, cock already pulsating inside you. “Perfect fucking pussy, and it’s all mine.”
Despite the trembling of your legs, your breathing returns to normal as your hips roll forward. Your tongue darts out, licking a lewd stripe against his neck, the salty and sweet taste of his skin on your tongue further fueling the motion of your hips. His eyes fall closed as he relishes in your tight warmth hugging his cock, the softness of your skin in the palm of his hands. 
“F-fuck.” No stranger to his cock despite the initial shock of him stretching you out each time, your hips develop a steady rhythm, rolling against his pelvis like lazy tides crashing over the shore. Your clit grazes against his abdomen which he flexes with each forward moment. It makes you whine each time, but he doesn’t do anymore than that, letting you set the pace, using his cock as you please because no matter what you do it’ll always feel so fucking good.
Without ceasing your movements, you remove your head from his neck to plant another kiss on his lips. He returns it, sinking his teeth into your bottom lips to match the pressure of his nails sinking into the flesh on your ass.
“Need you to do something for me,” he murmurs, voice thick with desire against your lips as he flexes his abs again.
“What’s that?” you ask with another roll of your hips.
He grabs one of your wrists, moving it from behind his neck to place your hand around the thick column of his neck. Shock paints your face, and all he does is flash you a crooked smile. This is… new.
“Go on,” he insists. “Squeeze.”
“O–Okay.” Hesitantly you do as he asks, giving his neck a squeeze. He looks entirely unimpressed.
“Baby,” he gently warns. “Stop playing with me.”
Hoping the second time will be the charm, you squeeze again. This still isn’t enough to satisfy him. The third time doesn’t seem to be the charm either, despite what everyone seems to believe. He only tsks and shakes his head.
“What am I supp—”
The rest of your sentence vanishes from existence when a strong hand encircles your throat, squeezing with a practiced pressure that gives you more of a head high than the joint you shared with him earlier. It’s nothing more than a reflex when your cunt clenches around his cock, a muffled mewl leaving your lips with the limited air supply he’s left you with. 
“You see that?” He directs your gaze down to his lap, in the space where the two of you are connected. The view only makes your walls constrict around him as you whine. It’s a lewd sight, your cunt swallowing his cock whole with traces of your arousal slicking his pelvis. He clenches his teeth and lets out a low groan as he takes in the view himself, letting his thumb slowly circle your clit. “Feel how hard your little pussy is squeezing my cock?” He lazily thrusts his hips upward, making you clamp around him again. “Feel how you’re just sucking me in?”
It’s dizzying, the pressure between your thighs and the one on your clit keeping any real words at bay. All you can do is nod pathetically as he continues his ministrations.
“Good girl.” His grip around your throat loosens, but he doesn't let up on your clit, continuing to trace circles on the bundle of nerves. “That’s how hard I need you to choke me, baby. Now do it right this time before I get mad.”
He releases his grip from your throat completely and throws his head back, an open invitation for your hands.
With more conviction in your actions, your hand circles his throat again and gives a much harder squeeze. His Adam’s apple bobs, a twisted smile slowly spreading across his face as you squeeze again, cock throbbing inside you.
“Haa–ngh,” he moans, a delirious head high taking over. “Just like that baby,” he praises as you apply pressure again, heeding his instructions perfectly. “ Fuck , you’re amazing, so amazing.”
His hands find their resting place on your ass again as he continues to contract his abdomen against your clit, eyes rolling to the back of his head while your hands take on their new role of becoming his favorite necklace.
His pulse races rapidly against your hands as they stay tightly wrapped around his throat, and you don’t know if you’ve ever seen his face painted with such bliss. Head thrown back, locks falling behind him as you continue riding him, chasing your orgasm at the same time his is approaching.
He doesn’t know why he hasn’t asked you to do this before, but there isn’t a chance he can go without this feeling now. He plants his feet on the floor, thrusting into your heat with dire need, hitting your sweet spot with each upward movement. “S-Sugu,” you moan, legs becoming more useless each time his perfectly curved cock stimulates that spongy spot inside you. Even with failing legs and his cock seemingly trying to drill into your brain until he's the only thing you can coherently think about, your hands continue squeezing his neck. 
Harsh sounds of skin slapping against skin echo in the room with each wicked surge of his hips. The pace is no longer up to you as he groans, hands gripping your ass tightly with the same ferocity you have on his neck. “S-Shit. ” He can normally hold it, draw out a session for much longer but gosh, he never expected to be in such a frenzy from such a simple request. “Fuck, baby. Keep squeezing, that’s so good,” he babbles. “Fuck, gonna come so hard in your little pussy, gonna fill her right up.”
“Please,” you whine, clamping down around his cock at his words. This is what he wants, right? You layer your free hand over the one currently on his neck, and the added pressure is enough to make his vision blurry.
It’s absolutely a mouth watering sensation. He can’t help the laugh of joy that escapes him with the little bit of breath that he has, continuing to pound into your heat, drilling against that one spot until your legs are shaking and the only thing you’re able to moan out is his name.
“O-Oh my god, Sugu, ” you cry out, grip around his neck loosening, orgasm like a shaken up soda bottle threatening to burst open at any second.
“Keep squeezing for me, baby,” he grits out, his own impending orgasm only seconds away from rising to the surface. “Gonna come together, just keep squeezing, I’m almost there.”
Tears springing from the corner of your eyes, you nod, arms shaking as you use the last bit of strength in them to give a final, hard squeeze.
Geto explodes, a hot load of his cum decorating your insides as your cunt spasms around him, milking him for everything he’s worth. He hisses, rope after rope spurting inside you making you shiver.
“Hah– fuck,” he chuckles after a few moments of comfortable silence, cock still lodged inside you as your forehead presses against his. One of his hands caresses the sides of your face, pressing another kiss to your lips. “I love you, baby.” The words are laced with the utmost care and affection as he presses another chaste kiss to your lips. “Thank you.”
“For what?” you ask, squirming in his lap as his cum begins to leak out of you, pooling around his pelvis.
“For just being you,” he answers, his other hand landing on the opposite side of your face. “And for making this one of the best birthdays ever.”
“Even though I didn’t choke you hard enough the first time?” you joke.
“You have all the time in the world to get it right,” he jokes back, but in reality, he doesn’t care.
There really is no wrong when it comes to you. And as the clock moves into the hour of the new day and you settle against his chest, the soft sounds of your breathing replacing previous pants and moans, he knows with certainty there’s no one else he wants to take another lap around the sun with.
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blushweddinggowns · 5 months
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 “So let me get this straight. You met a hot guy, conned him into a date with you, lied about who you were to get into his pants and still failed. Then kept going, bought a new phone and rented a fake apartment, fell in love him, continued this elaborate ruse for four months, and now you want me to figure out a way for you to get out of it?”
“...yes?”
“Oh my fucking god,” Chrissy nearly screeched into his ear, “That is what you have been doing? Have you lost your damn mind?!”
“Obviously, yes!” Eddie yelled right back, feeling fraught as hell. He was pacing back and forth, a cigarette in hand as he spoke, “I never planned on ending up here!”
“Really? Because this whole shit show seemed to need a lot of planning. Is this really what happens when I leave you unsupervised? I am never letting you out of the house again.”
Eddie was well aware he deserved the ribbing. He deserved much worse, but that didn’t change the fact that he was desperate, “Chris, I’m serious. I need help.”
“Eddie, I love you but come on. You need a plane ticket and an apology muffin basket and to move on. This guy doesn’t even know you.”
“It’s not like that,” Eddie said as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair, “It’s-okay. I’m still me with him. It’s like…I’m acting like who I would have been if I was never famous. I don’t know how else to describe it.”
“Have you tried delusional? Also, can I get a picture of this guy? How hot can one dude be to drive you-”
“I’m serious,” Eddie interupted, irritation coloring his voice, “I told him everything. The shit about my parents, Wayne, the drugs, you, everything.”
“You realize that everything would include your real name right? And again, a picture for the love of god would really help put this in perspective-”
“You know what I mean,” Eddie sighed. She still wasn’t getting it, “I’m in love with him. Like Chris, he was made for me. And if I had just stuck to tattooing instead of doing the music shit then I’m pretty sure he’d think the same of me.”
He could hear a small intake of breath on her end, her voice coming out a bit more concerned than before, “Eds, are you serious?”
“Dead. I… I think he’s the one,” No, that was another lie. Eddie took a deep breathe before admitting the truth, “He is the one. And… I don’t want to lose him. I can’t lose him.”
“Honey, it’s an infatuation. A really, really strong one, but still-”
“Chrissy. Listen to me. I want to marry him. Do you understand me now?”
If that didn’t get through to her nothing else would. Because Chrissy Cunningham had spent hours upon hours of listening to Eddie complain about the institution of marriage since fucking highschool. How it was all a farce, just some bullshit people pulled for tax reasons and patriarchal idealism. And now here he was, fucking day dreaming about the perfect happily ever after with the love of his life. 
“Oh Jesus,” Chrissy groaned, the sineritcy Eddie was looking for finally creeping into her voice, “Sweetie, I’m so sorry… but I think you might have fucked yourself too big on this one.”
“Isn’t there something I can do?” Eddie pleaded into the phone, like Chrissy actually had all the power in the world to fix this, “What if I just lead a double life? Couldn’t that work?” 
He had seen a movie about that once or twice. It was a thing. Or if it wasn’t then he could make it one.
But Chrissy didn’t seem too convinced, “Eddie, honey, you’re describing the plot of Hannah Montana like it can actually be a solution. Do you realize how insane that is? Do you not get how far you’ve fallen?”
from the next chapter of this fic
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Text
He Hung Up (Birthday)
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader
Summary: “Is there anything special you want to do for your birthday?” you quickly took a drink of your shake, peeking over the glass for Tara’s reaction.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 2.8k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
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“So…” you said, twirling the straw of your milkshake, your eyes constantly darting from your milkshake up to Tara who was seated across from you with her own milkshake.
You continued to play with your straw, unsure on how to broach the subject. You had been meaning to bring it up for a while but there was the whole Ghostface attack, then you were injured, and then you were avoiding everyone, there was just never a good time. You knew currently wasn’t the most ideal time, but it was the best time to come up, Tara and you were done with the semester, a whole day earlier than Chad and Mindy since you just didn’t have class the next day, you and Tara were both going to therapy and slowly dealing with the Ghostface stuff, and you were slowly falling back into a normal pattern with everyone. You had taken Tara out for celebratory milkshakes for (literally) surviving the semester.
“What?” Tara asked with a small smile, taking a sip of her milkshake but you could hear the nervousness as she lightly chuckled.
“At the potential risk of you getting mad at me,” you said slowly, watching as she slowly looked up from her shake, slightly narrowing her eyes at you, ready to yell at you for something you must have done. “Is there anything special you want to do for your birthday?” you quickly took a drink of your shake, peeking over the glass for Tara’s reaction.
Tara let out sigh, slumping back in the booth as it was her turn to play with her straw. She didn’t seem mad at your question which you were grateful for, you really didn’t want to say something to set her off. You didn’t know all the gritty details because she didn’t like to talk about them, but you knew Tara wasn’t a fan of her birthday. Tara’s birthday was a little over a week before Christmas and her dad had left during that time. Christmases had never been the same after that and you gathered from Mindy that they only got worse when Sam left a few years later, Christmas becoming almost nonexistent.
Mindy once explained that Tara tolerated her birthday after her dad left, she still had a party and cake but once Sam left it just became another day. You had only heard about her mother, and nothing had been good, you weren’t surprised that she never tried to do anything special with Tara. You wanted to do something special for her, but you didn’t want to push her away or do something that would only bring her more pain. Since Sam was back you weren’t sure if that changed Tara’s mind at all on birthdays or if she just wanted tomorrow to be another day.
“If you don’t want to do anything, it’s cool,” you said softly. You slowly reached across the table, your fingers grazing hers before she made the finale move to intertwine hands. “We can just hangout, watch movies, make out until Sam gets home and she throws me out,” you smirked.
Tara giggled at your joke, and you shyly smiled at yourself for that. Tara’s shoulders relaxed. She took another long sip of her shake, playing with the straw again as you patiently waited for her response.
“I don’t know,” she said, giving you a sad smile. “I haven’t done anything in years, I definitely don’t want anything big, but I don’t know.”
“Hey,” you whispered, tilting your head down to try and meet her eyes. “We don’t have to do anything big, it can just be dinner, it could just be movies and cake,” you chuckled, getting a small smile out of her. “If you want it to be just you and your sister, or you and the twins, or just the core four, then I’ll make myself scarce.”
“No,” Tara shook her head. You titled your head not sure what part she was saying no to or if she was saying no to the whole thing. “I want you there, no matter what we do.”
“Whatever you decide, I support.” You brought your intertwined hands to your lips, placing a kiss on her fingers. “What’s not up for debate though is me getting you a present.”
“No, you don’t have to, I don’t want you to waste-”
You quickly dropped her hands to point at her, making sure to put on your serious face. “It’s not a waste. Spending money on you is never a waste.” Tara smiled at your words but didn’t seem convinced. “Except for that god awful movie, you made me see over the summer.” Tara’s mouth dropped open. “I wish I could pay to have it erased from my brain.”
“It was a good movie!” Tara gestured widely, openly laughing at you.
“It didn’t have any explosions,” you fired back.
“So, the only way for a movie to be good is for it to have explosions?” Tara raised an eyebrow.
You shrugged. “It never hurts,” you mumbled. “It was so boring,” you sighed, dramatically throwing your head back against the booth. “All they did was talk!”
“It was a psychological thriller!” you cut her off by letting out a loud snore. “You’re an ass,” she threw her straw wrapper at you.
“And yet you love me.” You shrugged. “Maybe you need better taste in partners and movies.” She raised both eyebrows at you. “Wait…”
Tara shook her head, chuckling at you. “We can do something,” Tara said slowly. You could see the way she was thinking about the words as she said them, but you couldn’t help the way your eyes lit up.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Tara nodded more to herself than to you. “Just something small.”
“Of course. Do you want to go out to eat or keep it at the apartment.”
“The apartment. If that’s okay?”
“Of course,” you smiled, taking her hand again. “It’s your birthday, we’re going to do whatever you want to do.”
You and Tara finished your shakes, not talking about birthday plans anymore. When you were all done you walked Tara back to her apartment. You would normally stay a little longer, but the sisters agreed to dinner once a week with just each other and tonight was that night.
“See you tomorrow?” she looked at you with wide eyes.
“Bright and early,” you smiled.
“Not to early,” she put a hand on your chest. “I want to sleep in.”
“Yes ma’am,” you saluted her.
She rolled her eyes at your ridiculous, lightly punching you in the shoulder. She leaned in, grabbing you by the back of the head as she gave you a long goodbye kiss. When she finally released you, she smirked at your dumbstruck state. She gave you a light push, gently closing the door on you as you just stared at her smiling.
You shook off the effects of her kiss a few seconds later. You stepped closer, leaning closer to the door to see if you could hear Tara still in the room. You waited another minute before bringing your fist up and lightly knocking. It wasn’t even a moment later before the door was being flung open and the person you were hoping for was standing before you.
“Ugh,” Sam groaned. “Why are you back?” she shrugged. She turned to yell back into her apartment, “Ta-” you quickly put a hand over her mouth, dragging her out into the hall.
“Sorry,” you whispered, looking back into the apartment as the door closed, making sure Tara didn’t hear or see anything. “I didn’t want Tara to hear,” you quickly took your hand away from her mouth and let go of her.
“I-” a hard slap to your face cut you off. Your head whipped to the side so quick, you were to stunned, you didn’t even say ow. You brought a hand to your jaw, as you slowly turned back to Sam, your mouth wide.
“Don’t ever touch me,” she stepped closer, pointing threateningly at you.
“Sorry,” you whimpered. “I-I-I just wanted to talk to you.”
“What?” she stepped back, crossing her arms.
You cleared your throat, shaking your head but still feeling the sting of your cheek. “Tara agreed to celebrate her birthday.” Sam’s arms relaxed, her eyes going wide. “She doesn’t want anything big just a little something here at the apartment. I was hoping maybe you could get the food?” Sam nodded; her mouth open but no words came out. “Great!” you smiled, completely forgetting Sam had slapped you. “Don’t worry, I’ll get the cake. Just make sure Chad and Mindy know?” Sam silently nodded again. “Great! Great, thank you.”
Sam stood there speechless for a moment, just looking at you. You were about to get concerned, you had never seen Sam like this, not even after you got stabbed for her. “Sorry for slapping you,” she finally said.
“I probably deserved it,” you shrugged. “You’ve been wanting to do that for a while, haven’t you?”
“Oh my god yes,” she sighed, making you chuckle.
“It was a good one,” you nodded. “My face still hurts.”
Sam gave a satisfactory nod before turning and opening the door again. “Goodbye.” She didn’t wait for you to respond before closing the door.
You nodded to yourself and then quickly ran home. You considered the whole day a success. Tara was going to get the birthday that she deserved, you would make sure of it, you got her a present you knew she’d love, and you were pretty sure Sam was starting to warm up to you. You just needed to wear her down a bit more, maybe save her life again, and before you know it, she’d be wanting to hangout. Okay, maybe that was farfetched but eventually she wouldn’t roll her eyes every time she saw you.
***********************************
The next day you woke up early, running to the grocery store to pick out a cake for Tara. It was last minute so you couldn’t get something crazy and custom, but you looked at the options they had. You stared at each cake for over a minute, contemplating which one would be best. Ultimately you decided on a basic yellow cake, white icing, and little balloons and flowers decorating the edges. You bought some blue icing and took off to the Carpenters apartment. It was after noon when you knocked on the door. Tara opened it, still rubbing her half-closed eyes.
“Morning,” you said, smiling and giving her a quick kiss on the cheek as you entered the apartment. She groaned in greeting before throwing herself face down on the couch.
You shook your head at her, laughing at your very much not a morning person girlfriend. You didn’t consider yourself a morning person either, but you would get up early if it meant coming to see Tara, even though you would usually pass out on their couch in less than an hour of being there. You got back to work, sitting the cake on the table, flipping open the lid and delicately began using the blue icing to write out ‘Happy Birthday Tara’. When you were satisfied with your work you gently closed the lid and put the cake in the fridge where Sam had cleared space.
You wiggled your way onto the couch with Tara instantly sitting up to cuddle into your side. You flipped on the TV silently watching random shows until Tara decided to join the rest of the world. When Tara woke up, she woke up, she was up and talking, listing off all the movies she intended to make you watch until dinner. And that’s how you spent the rest of the day, curled up watching movies until Sam got home then the twins arrived a couple hours later, letting out sighs of relief at being done with the semester.
It wasn’t much longer before the pizza arrived. The five of you gathered around the table, your arm constantly around Tara as all of you talked and joked. Sam even joined in, telling stories of babysitting all of them and all the trouble they tried to get into. You laughed along but mostly you watched, you watched the way Tara’s eyes crinkled as she laughed, she didn’t stop smiling the entire night. When you brought out the cake Tara’s eyes lit up, giving you a kiss as you sat it in the middle of the table. Sam got the candles, lighting them and they all watched as Tara blew them out. Chad didn’t wait for the candles to be pulled out before he grabbed a knife and began cutting the cake, taking an extra-large piece for himself.
When the night started to die down all of you gathered in the living room, putting Tara in the big chair so she was the center of attention as everyone gave her presents. Chad gave her a couple gift cards, scratching the back of his neck as he looked around, noticing everyone else got her actual gifts. Tara said it was fine though and he knew how much she loved gift cards. Mindy shoved her gift into Tara’s hands next, excitedly watching as Tara unraveled the gift.
“Oh my god!” Tara shouted, jumping up from her seat. She turned showing a framed poster of one of her favorite movies, signed by the whole cast.
“Can I claim best gift yet?” Mindy asked, leaning close to your ear.
“You wish,” you said, playfully shoving her back.
Sam shook her head, rolling her eyes as she watched you and Mindy as she handed Tara her gift. Tara had just gotten seated again but as soon as she tore through the paper, she was on her feet again. She turned the box around showing tickets to something. When you got a closer look, you noticed it was for a museum tour that was in town. It opened in a few weeks, but tickets had quickly sold out, Mindy and Tara had both tried to get tickets but were unsuccessful. It was a moving exhibit of a horror props and costumes from a bunch of different movies. The exhibit was making its way across the country and Mindy and Tara had both squealed when it was announced to coming to the city.
“Dammit,” Mindy whispered. “You may have won this one,” she pointed at Sam. “But I’m not even mad!” she broke out into a smile as Tara handed her one of the tickets.
“So, can your oh so amazing gift top this?” Tara teased, staring down at you.
You looked up at her, smirking as you shrugged. She was about to sit back down but you grabbed her hand, keeping her on her feet. You slowly pulled out a little velvet box as you got down on one knee. Everyone went silent, Tara bringing a hand to her mouth as tears pricked the edge of her eyes.
“No!” Sam shouted, jumping up from her chair, making everyone turn to her. Sam froze, her arm midair as if she were reaching out to stop you.
“I’m not proposing,” you sighed, rolling your eyes. Flipping open the box to reveal a gorgeous silver ring, with a singular blue stone in the center.
“Are you sure?” Mindy whispered.
You ignored Mindy as you stood up, gently taking Tara’s hand as you slipped the ring onto her right ring finger. “It’s just a ring, with your birthstone,” you smiled down at the ring, looking at the glimmering blue stone.
“It’s nice to know that’s how you’ll react if I ever propose though,” you said, shooting Sam a glare before laughing it off. You saw the ring and instantly knew it was Tara’s style, you only thought of getting down on one knee when you realized it would make Sam freakout and then you just couldn’t pass the opportunity up.
“If?” Tara questioned, starting to pull her hand away from you.
“When,” you corrected, tugging her hand back. “But I would rather graduate first unless you want me to propose? I can redo this whole thing,” you gestured around. You were joking but if Tara had said yes, you knew you would totally do it in a heartbeat, she was the love of your life and if she wanted you to propose while you were freshman in college then you would.
“I think after graduation sounds wonderful,” she smiled, pulling you in for a kiss.
She broke the kiss but kept you close, your heads nearly brushing together. She looked down, holding up her hand to get a good look at the ring. “I love it,” she whispered, pulling you in for another kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you whispered back.
“Thank you, for the best birthday ever,” she flung her arms around your neck, pulling you into a hug. You quickly wrapped your arms around her waist, hugging her back just as fiercely.
Taglist: @screechcat
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pileofmush · 21 days
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you don't know what i deserve .·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·..·:*¨ ¨*:·.
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ft. okkotsu yuuta
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it’s 1 a.m. on the fifteenth of February and there’s a corpse on your kitchen floor. still fresh: odorless and warm to the touch. you're on your own—just you and the dead body.
info : ̗̀➛ tags: gn!reader, neighbor au, strangers to lovers, yuuta & reader are a little strange, happy ending // cw: death, light angst, vulgar language, canon-typical violence...but pretty mild imo
thoughts : ̗̀➛ helllooo. back on my bullshit. let's call this a very belated birthday present to my beloved <3 // read this on ao3
wc : ̗̀➛ 5.1k
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The human body contains a shit ton of blood. 
Which is not something you think about often, but now you are forced to confront this fact in real-time. People… have a lot of blood.
And it stains. No matter how many times you wash your hands. There are still flakes of blood wedged underneath your fingernails. Part of you thinks it'll never go away.
...And then there's Sailor Moon.
“I am the pretty guardian who fights for love and justice! I am Sailor Moon! And now, in the name of the moon, I’ll punish you!”  
Cue trumpets and flashy poses; the makings of a battle. Your comfort anime blares in the background of a morbid scene, the flickering TV casting a soft glow on a sight that will inevitably haunt your nightmares. 
Because it's 1 a.m. on the fifteenth of February and there’s a corpse on your kitchen floor. Still fresh: odorless and warm to the touch. You pace in your tiny living room, unsure of what to do, of how to proceed. The pretty Sailor Guardians won’t save you now. You’re on your own. Just you and the dead body.
How romantic.
The chill from outside has swept into your apartment thanks to that annoying fucking prick who left your window open. Honestly, people these days have no decency. The least he could’ve done was close your shutters after tumbling through your bedroom window like a deranged acrobat. Now you’re, like, moderately cold. 
“What a fucking mess,” you sigh.
Blood seeps into the earthy Persian rug that you got for half-price at a flea market a few months ago. It’s dark; puddling, like... like a knocked-over glass of chocolate milk, spilled all over the kitchen table. Or, maybe chocolate syrup would be more apt. It doesn’t matter, though. You can always get a new rug. You know, if you make it out of this situation of yours intact and not in a dingy prison cell for homicide.
Hmm. You might be sorta kinda screwed. 
The police, of course, are out of the question. No matter your side of the story, it wouldn’t hold up in trial. No, no, no. A foreigner murdering a Japanese citizen? Even if it was in self-defense, it wouldn’t matter. Forget prison—you’ll probably be hanged.
So, you could run… But you probably wouldn’t get far. Or, you could do what every naive murderer in the movie about karmic retribution does and try your darnedest to get away with it.
“Option two it is!” you quit pacing and announce to the room. Thankfully, the body doesn’t respond.
A weak knock at the door sounds off—a gunshot. Your heart stalls, your head snapping to the entrance of the apartment. Who the hell is at your door? The person at the door knocks a second time, a little bit more insistently, and you start to sweat. “Hello, is everything alright? I—I heard a scream.”
You step up to the peephole and squint. A mild-looking man shuffles his feet outside your door. It’s your next-door neighbor, bathed in the ugly yellow lighting of your apartment complex. He smiles like he knows that you can see him. 
This… isn’t ideal. You could choose to not answer him, but that probably wouldn’t work. What if he called the police? You take a breath. “Everything’s fine,” you call out.
The man’s smile freezes in place, somehow more eerie than a frown; his hands burrow deeper into his pockets. “Oh!” he says. “Are… Are you sure?”
You turn away from the peephole, a little unnerved. “Yeah, why?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to intrude, but I heard a lot more than a single scream.”
A slow, dreadful feeling starts to seep into your gut. “Pardon?” 
There’s a pause. You swallow.
“These walls are thin.” 
Fuck. He knows. Oh God, he knows. 
No—that’s impossible. You were the only one to scream. Yasuhiro… He didn’t get the chance to. So this is just a concerned neighbor checking in on you. Nothing more, nothing less. You can prove it, prove that you’re okay.
You open the door a smidge so that you can peek through, then step outside and shut the door behind you. Your neighbor, what’s his name again? Okkotsu, right? Okkotsu’s brows lift at the sight of you, then relax. He’s wearing a plain white tee and a pair of grey sweats that should probably be criminal in Japan. His eyes flicker up and down your frame. You suppress a shiver.
“Just a horror movie,” you broach, offering him a polite smile. “I’m an easy fright.”
Okkotsu pulls a hand out of his pocket to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. His gentle smile has dimmed. “I’m not sure I believe you,” he says in an apologetic tone.
You both notice the tremor that runs through your body. Nosy fucking neighbors and their lack of sense when it comes to minding their own business. You stare mulishly at the floor. His shoes are simple. Black; scuffed. His left foot taps once against the floor. Whatever. You don't have to answer to him. Gathering up your resolve, you start to speak. “Listen, Okkotsu-san,” you say but are cut off quickly.
“Is that blood?” 
That makes you freeze, eyes glued to the floor. A cold set of fingers dips under your chin and gently lifts it. Your gaze meets his: two pools of an endless, starless night. It flickers to a spot beside your ear knowingly and you reach for it. 
He’s right. Blood sticks to your fingers, not yet dry. Lurking in the crevice behind your ear. You missed a spot.
“Well spotted.” It’s fruitless to lie now. You know it, he knows it. Now it’s a matter of who’ll crack first. 
“Are you… Are you injured?”
Physically? No. Psychiatrically? Well, you just murdered a man, so.
“I’m unharmed.” 
Okkotsu blinks owlishly. “Is that so?” He murmurs curiously, tilting your head to the side to observe the blood staining your skin. 
You readjust your head and mimic him, blinking slowly. “Okkotsu—”
“Yuuta,” he interrupts. 
You blink again. For such a mild, polite-seeming boy, he really is quite rude. And confusing. And terrifying. And you kinda sort of want him to die. “Okkotsu-san” you repeat. “I think it’s best if you leave.”
Okkotsu Yuuta’s smile returns, and it’s dangerously innocuous. He breathes your name out like a question. Starless eyes wander to your front door, then go back to studying your own. “Can I come inside?” he asks, quietly. 
Everything stills, even your heart. You’re not quite certain you’re alive, when you ask, dubiously, “The apartment?” 
Okkotsu just smiles.
You let Okkotsu come inside.
Which is absolutely fucking insane, but you have a feeling that your neighbor’s worse off than you are, and that’s truly saying something. 
You hear him lock the door behind you before you start. Silently, you lead him past your living room, past Tsukino Usagi flying down the sidewalk on the way to school—the start of another episode, then—past your browning house plant hanging from the ceiling, into your quaint kitchen. 
It’s nothing special. A small green stove with two bunsen burners on top. A sink; limited counter space. A couple of peeling cabinets. Tied in together with a white backsplash, shifting colors with each flicker of the TV. To the side, a small table sits, with two mismatched chairs tucked into it. 
Oh, and there’s the dead body, too. Practically dribbling blood, painting your discounted rug muddy red and the surrounding blue tile purple. 
Okkotsu lets out a soft sigh. “What a mess.”
You consider him from the corner of your eye. “That’s what I said,” you frown.
He shrugs, still looking at poor, dead, Yasuhiro. “Well, it’s true, isn’t it?” 
Yeaaaah. It’s true.  
A giggle escapes you, the reality of the situation finally hitting you. “Fuck,” you whisper in between the giggles. “I’m fucked.” It’s true. Utterly and thoroughly—no condom used. 
“Not yet,” you barely hear him say over the fracturing of your composure. This is impossible. You killed a man tonight, then showed a stranger the corpse. You’re an idiot. You’re a freak. You can’t hide a dead body. You really might as well bend over and get it over with. Fuck.
Hands gripping your knees, you struggle to catch your breath. When did you lose it? Ah, who cares? Dead. You’re dead. The noose is looped around your hollowed throat, tightening by the second. Perhaps there’ll be two corpses on your kitchen floor by the time the sun is up. Perhaps you should’ve just let him kill—
“Breathe with me,” Okkotsu mutters, right in front of you, long hands gingerly clutching your shoulders. Which is strange. You had no idea he got so close. His thumbs swipe up and down, around and around, and you are flummoxed. But Okkotsu is patient, his chest compressing and expanding with each measured breath, and you are compelled to follow him. Slowly, you come down from your panicked high. You let out a shaky breath, eyes sliding back to the imposing guest in your apartment. The other imposing guest in your apartment.
The body in front of you lays eerily still, impervious to your mini breakdown. It’s not purple, or rotting, or excreting out the last remaining fluids left in its underwhelming husk. It’s just—laying there. Laying, not lying, because it is no longer a breathing thing that rests; now an object to be placed. Dehumanized, in every way. Then again, what is dehumanization if not just another word for murder? What is murder, if not just the taking away of a person’s autonomy? Dead bodies can’t rest. It will never lie again. 
The dead body lays.
And you wonder for how much longer you’ll keep your own autonomy.
When do the dead start to attract flies? Realistically, you know it can range from a day to a few days for a decomposing body to become…obscene, depending on the environmental conditions. It hasn’t even been a few hours. You doubt flies will start buzzing around any time soon. If you move to crouch down and touch it, it’ll probably still be warm.  
The swipe of a thumb over your shoulder brings your awareness back to your neighbor. 
“Why are you helping me?” You ask, wiping the tears that have beaded up in the corners of your eyes. Your breathing is steadier now, but you’re still trembling. That damn window is still open. 
The hands on your shoulders release, and you look up to gauge his thoughts. He’s frowning. His eyes cloud, then sharpen: lightning against a black sky. “You need to get rid of the body, don’t you?” It’s a rhetorical question, but you nod anyway. 
“Then we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry. I bet we’ll be done before dawn.”
He makes to walk away but you stay rooted to your spot, trying to figure out why this strange, strange neighbor of yours who makes friends with stray cats and tends to the apartment garden is willing to become an accomplice of murder for you. 
“Okkotsu, are… Are you in love with me or something?” 
Your neighbor stops, then snorts, and it sends a shiver down your spine. He turns back to face you. A soft pout lies on his lips as he skillfully evades your question with a request of his own. “Hey, if you’re gonna ask me something like that, why don’t you use my name next time?”  
You don’t ask again.
You have far bigger problems than interrogating Okkotsu Yuuta, so you push it aside and stalk toward the body. Okkotsu joins you, and the two of you peer at the deceased man before you. It’s… Still. The blood has stopped its puddling; a thin line stretches the column of its throat. His throat was slit neatly, gracefully, like an act of love. It wasn’t one, but, maybe you gave Yasuhiro what he wanted, in a terrible, twisted way. How magnanimous of you. 
Yasuhiro wasn’t an attractive man. Limp brown hair framing a slightly uglier-than-average face. At least he had the decency to close his eyes before his last, dying breath. They were blood-shot and wiry, the last time you saw them open. Bouncing haphazardly in its sockets like they couldn’t discern which corner of the room you stood in.  
Okkotsu perks up at the sound of your harrumph. “What?” he questions you, and you slide your eyes over to him. Okkotsu Yuuta is distinctly pale, a trait that you’ve always noticed and have always sort of admired on him. It suits the subdued, yet haunted look he’s got going on. Black lashes feather the whites of his eyes, as well as the endless void of his irises. Yeah, he’s almost doll-like, in that gentle, haunting way of his. 
“You’re creepier than the corpse,” you tell him instead and turn away, just barely hiding your smile. The laugh that rings out from him sounds like nails grating on a chalkboard. 
Just kidding. It actually sounds kind of sweet.
Okkotsu follows you to the bathroom, where you’ve grabbed pretty much all of your cleaning supplies. You stuff them in a bucket and he hauls it out of your arms, the two of you shuffling back to the kitchen. 
“So how should we go about this?” You muse, staring at the body. The movies you’ve seen are the only reference you have for the disposal of dead bodies, but those usually end with the killer getting caught, so you’re not so sure about mimicking their methods. 
“I’m not sure,” Okkotsu says, tilting his head in thought. “Severing his limbs without the proper tools would be difficult. I guess we could carry him and bury him somewhere unassuming—unless you have a car that we could use?” A quick glance at you confirms that you don’t. He rubs his chin, nodding to himself. “Right. A garden cart will do, then. We should check to see if he has any identifiers on him, first, though. Oh, and we can’t forget about the teeth. Do you have any pliers?” He turns to you casually, eyes widening at the sight of your awe. 
Thin black brows furrow in confusion. “What?” He asks.
You blink. “Have you…ever…?” Your voice dies in your throat.
Thankfully, he gets it. “Oh. No! No, I’ve never murdered a person,” he denies, dipping his head and tugging the neckline of his plain white tee. A curious look crosses his face. “But I could,” he tacks on cautiously.
You hug your arms and give a half-assed shrug. You can almost feel the weight of a kitchen knife in your dominant hand; the quick, fluid motion of ending a life. 
“Anyone could,” you acquiesce, dismissing the conversation. Okkotsu hums mournfully in return. 
According to his ID, Yasuhiro Souta is a twenty-seven-year-old male who lives in Chiba. What he was doing tumbling through your window in the middle of the night is anyone’s guess. Well, he did tell you, sort of shakily before he made to lunge at you, that you were supposedly his Valentine for the night. How sweet!
Snip. You met him for the first time a little over two months ago. He dropped his wallet on the train, so you picked it up and handed it to him in a silly attempt to be a decent person. It resulted in the man refusing to let go of your hand for a solid five minutes. Yes, yes, what an adorable meet-cute! Snip. When you managed to pry your clammy hands out of his vice-like grip, it was your stop, and, oh, how fortuitous, it was Yasuhiro’s as well! He followed you off the train into a random coffee shop, and it was only when you got the help of the employees that he backed off, the doorbell chiming as the glass door swung behind his back. Snip.
You thought that was the end of it, and proceeded about your day, running errands for a few hours until you retreated home. It shook you up for a little, yes, but it was nothing too crazy. You doubted you’d ever see him again. 
Snip.
You slice Yasuhiro’s ID with your scissors until it’s a pile of ashes. 
Okkotsu’s on his knees, holding a pair of pliers to the light. Wedged between the metal lies a crooked tooth. He hums to himself, plopping the tooth in a ziplock bag. He wears a pair of green garden gloves he grabbed from his apartment; you’re wearing a matching set. The rubber’s a little too big for you, but you’re making it work.
It's as Okkotsu calmly adjusts the head in his lap, preparing to yank another tooth that you stare at your strange partner, wondering how in the hell you got yourself into this situation. It’s been happening every so often: your acceptance of reality swinging in the opposite direction like the pendulum on a grandfather clock. 
You shouldn’t have killed him.
You don’t care for Yasuhiro Souta’s life. You don’t care for the man who intended to assault you. But there’s not a chance in hell that this won’t get traced back to you. 
You're fucked.
Why did it have to be like this? Why do bad things happen to good people?
That’s the way the cookie crumbles, darling.
And you crumble—crumbled—are crumbling when you turn to your neighbor. “Okkotsu-san,” you say, picking at your dirty nails.
“Yuuta,” the man insists. What a freak. He's a freak, and he's good, and you don't deserve it.
You take a deep breath, mulling over your doomed fate. It doesn’t have to be his, too. “You should get out of here. While you still can.”
There's an awkward pause. The strange man pulls out another tooth and plops it in the baggy. “There,” he says warmly, then draws to his full height. “Do you have a coffee maker?” You ball your fists around the plastic handle in your hands. Calm, calm, stay calm. “Did you hear what I just said?” You ask. 
“Oh, I did,” Okkotsu hums. “I chose to ignore it.”
Your hands begin to shake as you repeat his words. “Ch—Chose to—” 
Okkotsu says your name pityingly. “I thought we already had this conversation," he questions with pinched brows. “Why are we—”
“We?!” You interrupt, incensed. We. It's as if the curtains have been drawn open, allowing the rays of the illuminating, scorching sun to trickle through. It blinds you, and you have the urge to pull your eyes out and shove them down his throat. “You thought we? Who are you? You don’t know a damn thing about me!”
“I think I know a few things about you,” Okkotsu smiles sweetly, gesturing to the dead body in your apartment.
“Do you, now?” You laugh and toss your hands up to the ceiling. “Great! I have an idea!" You glare, the metal edge of your scissors catching the light. "If you know what I’m capable of, then you should get the hell out." 
A pause. You pant, more worked up than have been all night and it's fucking ridiculous and you hate it. You want to choke—you want him to choke. On your blood-soaked fingers, preferably. He'd probably lick them clean. 
Unaware of your depraved thoughts, Okkotsu’s lips pull into a frown. He sighs, running a ghostly hand through his hair.
“I’m not scared of you,” he tells you, quietly.
You hold your breath. “Maybe you should be.”
Your insufferable neighbor takes a step forward, that stupid frown still on his stupid doll face. “What’s your plan?” He prompts. “Do you intend to confess? To go to prison?” You shake your head slowly and he softens. “You don’t deserve that,” he says, like he really means it.
Why did you let this man into your house? Why is he offering you hope? It’s too much. The scissors slide out of all your fingers save for one; your limbs sag with a weariness that’s settled deep in your bones. 
“You don’t know what I deserve.”
Okkotsu stops and considers you. Your chest heaves, your heart pounds, and you want out. You want out, and he can get out, and you don’t know… You don’t know why…
“If you want me to judge you, I won’t,” says Okkotsu. 
You shake your head at his dismissal, your eyes squeezed shut. “I can’t judge you,” he continues, and there goes his cold, calloused hand again, gingerly tilting your chin upwards. The pair of scissors in your clutches drops fruitlessly to the floor. When you look up, there’s something like pleading in his endless, starless eyes. “Trust me,” he begs. 
You shouldn’t. You know it with every fiber of your being that you should not trust Okkotsu Yuuta. The man who blinks like an owl and stares at you like you’re a mouse he can’t wait to swallow whole. Who blushes pink whenever you hold the elevator door for him. Who has cold fingers that cradle you so gingerly—who touches you like he knows you—who doesn’t cringe at the sight of dead bodies but gives a damn about a bit of blood staining the outside of your ear. 
You shouldn’t. Trust him. But you—you feel as if he’s reached inside your chest and plucked out your pulsing, blackened heart. 
“Do you love me?” You ask Okkotsu Yuuta again, heart throbbing in his hand.
His eyes don’t stray from yours. “Ask me again with my name,” he says quietly. 
…You don’t know if you want to. 
Releasing a breath, you push past him, snatch the ziplock bag from the floor, and stride towards the stove. “I’ll make coffee,” you say, already fiddling with the grinder.
Okkotsu lets you depart with a sigh.
“So what do you like to do when you’re not helping random people bury bodies?” You ask Okkotsu a couple of hours later. You stumble over a root in the dark, and Okkotsu’s quick to grab you by the waist and steady you. You continue, a bag full of your keys, water, pepper spray, freshly-bleached gloves, a burner phone that Okkotsu already had, for some reason, and two sets of clean clothes swinging against your back. You fidget with the shovel in your hands mindlessly, trying to get it to spin. A garden cart with a tarp draped over it creaks along the grass floor. The two of you have walked for who knows how long, but, according to him, you’re getting close. 
The man beside you hums, surprisingly chipper for the nefarious activities afoot. “When I’m not busy, I like to garden and crochet. I also like making food for my friends from time to time,” he says in a simple, humble manner. The last part doesn’t surprise you. He’s brought you helpings of food on the most random occasions, showing up at your doorstep with self-proclaimed “leftovers” and shoving full plates into your arms with a velvety smile. That does beg the question, though…
“Have you considered us friends this whole time?” You squint at him in the dark, only the moonlight carving out the contours of his subtle, delicate features. You’re kind of surprised. You two made decent neighbors but only ever talked in short bursts outside your rooms. Your conversations rarely ever broke past polite mumblings about the weather.  
Okkotsu pouts. “You mean, we’re not friends yet?” He asks, before breaking into a twinkling laugh. 
“Shut up,” you bite, but you laugh too, lightly shoving at his arm. Okkotsu, bless him, pretends to stumble. It takes you a moment to suppress the heat burning the tips of your ears, but you do get it under control, eventually. “I meant… Before?”
His expression smoothens out before he gives a soft shake of his head. “No, not quite. But, I wanted us to be."  
It’s quiet for a moment, nothing but the rustling under your feet and the ever-present, cacophonous sounds of nature. You spot a nest of sleeping birds tucked in between the branches of a tree and smile.
“Well,” you try to keep your cool, eyes sweeping over the forest's shadows, “Better late than never.”
It strikes you halfway to the burial grounds that Yasuhiro didn’t bring his phone with him to your apartment in his depraved, intoxicated state. He crawled up a tree, through your cracked-open bedroom window—conveniently avoiding cameras. So, once you’re done with this, you very may well be free.
It’s a terrifying notion, freedom.
“What about you?” Okkotsu asks you, something like ten minutes later. “What do you like to do for fun? Besides watch Sailor Moon, I mean.”
You bite your lip to keep from grinning. “Well,” you wonder aloud. “This is pretty fun, wouldn’t you say?” 
Okkotsu lets out a little breath before he softly admits his agreement. 
It rained earlier today, you forgot. The ground crumbles like clay when you swing the shovel into the ground. You and Okkotsu take turns making a grave, taking water breaks in between. There is hope alive in you, you realize, as the two of you work in tandem.
Yasuhiro Souta is lowered into the ground with all the dignity a dead man could possess. He lays atop a tarp and your old Persian rug. A stream rushes somewhere nearby, bubbling like blood, and you pray that the body will make good fertilizer. When your hand shakes, Yuuta grabs it. 
You bury your clothes on the way back, a mile out. The sun peaks over the horizon.
When you return to your room with Yuuta in tow, your emotions overwhelm you: you are terrified and gleeful and sorry for all you’ve done. 
It is mournfully quiet as you mop the purple tiles blue, bleach burning your nostrils and freshly scrubbed gloves. Yuuta’s left to clean the garden cart in the gardens. He returns shortly, though, offers you a small smile, and helps you scrub every inch of your apartment. 
You scrub, and scrub. 
And scrub.
“You’re beautiful,” Yuuta says to you when you’re in the middle of wiping your brow. You’re sitting cross-legged on your rugless kitchen floor, where a dead body once lay. Sweat clings to your skin in uncomfortable places and you reek of bleach. “Shut the fuck up and scrub, Yuuta,” you command. 
Yuuta’s serene smile is unparalleled to anything you’ve ever seen before.
You could probably fall in love with him, you contemplate as you watch your neighbor make fluffy pancakes in the comforts of his own kitchen. If you haven’t fallen in love with him, already, that is. You doubt you’ll ever have a connection with someone as profound as the bond you share with the soft-spoken man who helped you bury a dead body. 
Love, you marvel, in the span of a few hours.
It’s disquieting. 
After multiple showers, and after Yuuta’s stuffed you with more pancakes than you can chew, the pair of you are lounging on his tatami mat, a much-needed change in scenery. You have like, three hours before you need to go to work, which, Yuuta agrees, is crucial to maintaining a veneer of normalcy. Which means this impromptu nightmare date will have to come to an end—as all good things do.
“I should probably get to bed,” you say after a lull in conversation.
Yuuta nods, reasonably. “That makes sense, yeah.” 
“Got work in the morning and all that,” you continue in a nonchalant tone.
“Make sure your window’s locked.”
Fine. “Walk me out, will you?” You request. Okkotsu Yuuta, ever the gentleman, agrees, even though the front door is only a handful of feet away. He pushes himself off his knees and stands at full height, though his starless eyes are, as always, trained on you. You would probably find Yuuta’s full attention a little unsettling if you had not just slit a man’s throat that night. 
You avoid his gaze all the same—stopping at his doorstep with your hands twisting at your sides. Yuuta stops beside you and waits patiently for you to string your words together. 
You clear your throat. “Hey, um—”
“Hi,” Yuuta interrupts, and you smile, filled with the courage to go on. 
“So, the thing is… Well, I probably wouldn’t have made it anywhere far without you. I acted quite amateur back there, you’d think this was my first dead body I was trying to hide, or something, ha. Um, so yeah, thank you—from the most sincere and vulnerable depths of my heart. I guess I’ll see you around? Okay, bye.”
A hand wraps around your wrist before you can run home with your tail tucked between your legs. Yuuta murmurs your name in a soft, dulcet tone, and you’re not certain you’re prepared to hear whatever he has to say. You turn to face him anyway, because, well, you owe him that much.
“Yes?” 
“Don’t you have something to ask me?” He chides.
The pit in your stomach swoops. “Not that I recall,” you lie with a straight face.
“Try again,” Yuuta smiles sweetly, like a haunted little doll.
“It’s been a long day, you know—” 
“Cold, I’m afraid.”
“My brain isn’t functioning at its peak—” 
“Hmm, getting colder!”
“I don’t think I can.”
A pause. You avert your gaze and allow yourself to get analyzed by Yuuta’s doleful, starless eyes. “Hey,” he calls your name, asks you to look at him. 
You look at him.  
“Good," he hums.
You roll your eyes, loop an arm around his long neck, and drag him to you. 
Okkotsu Yuuta tastes like the earth. From dust to dust, you are at the end and beginning when you capture his lips between yours. He responds quickly, hands digging firmly into your waist as he knocks you into his door frame, and you quickly learn what it means to be savored. You intended the kiss to be a quick, rash, thing, but he slows you down, melds into you languidly like you have all the time in the world. When he sucks on your bottom lip, you both moan, breaking apart for air. Yuuta slips his hands underneath your shirt, and for once, his cold hands burn, lighting the fire for something you’re not certain you’ll be able to finish. 
“Go ahead and ask me already, love,” Yuuta murmurs into your ear. And, well, fuck. You melt. “Yuuta,” you whisper as he nips at your neck. “You love me, yes?” 
At that, he bites down at the hollow of your neck. You gasp, then sigh when he instantly cools the wound with his tongue. “Obviously,” he replies, quite simply, thumb swiping delicately at your stomach. 
“Great,” you gasp, and Yuuta looks at you and beams. 
And, there goes your heart again, pulsing in his cold, calloused hands. Cradle it gently, Yuuta, won’t you?
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fin. if u made it this far, ily
271 notes · View notes
txtaetertots · 9 months
Text
perfect man | huening kai
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pairing idol!hueningkai x non-idol!gn!reader
wc 4.0k
genre friends to lovers, FLUFF
summary kai has a huge crush on you and he’s determined to win you over by any means necessary, but he’s worried maybe he went too far.
warnings i made kai cry a little sawry 😔, reader is implied 99-01 liner, you’re also shorter/smaller than kai.. so, reader also uses nail polish so if you don’t normally use/play with nail polish.. now you do friend <3
notes it’s my sweet boy’s birthdayyyy !! this was kinda self indulgent of me considering i’m a ‘00 liner ningdungie saurrrr.. sue me !! soobin and i have a lot in common in that sense don’t u think
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“i’m not really interested in dating younger guys.”
those words spoken by you kept repeating in kai’s head, tormenting him.
kai has had a crush on you ever since you first started working at hybe in the café. the way you so warmly smiled at him and greeted him good morning, taking his juice order and serving him his morning pastry. he swore he'd never seen a more beautiful person, almost angelic with the way the morning sunshine hit you just right to give you that heavenly glow. his heart nearly leaped out of his chest every morning, seeing you behind the counter wearing your lovely smile with enthusiasm.
every time you made deliveries to the dance studio for them, kai was always one of the first to greet you at the door and help you set up their snacks and refreshments. he loved the few extra minutes it gave him to talk to you and get to know you. it got to the point where he would make mundane orders for juice boxes or napkins just so he could see you during lessons. you thought it was odd, but everyone else could tell kai was a lovesick puppy.
after a while, you became close with him and the rest of the boys. they decided to keep you around more often since it made kai so happy to spend time with you. they loved the way you made kai’s face light up just by walking into the room. and you loved hanging out with them. it was nice being able to have friends your own age in the company you could spend your break hours with. it got to the point where you would occasionally join them to hang out outside of company hours. you would have dinner, play games, watch movies, or go shopping.
the boys enjoyed your company, and always made sure kai had his chance to spend some extra time with you. you just never noticed the advances. you never saw kai’s closeness and playfulness as flirting because you didn’t see kai in a romantic light. he was younger than you and you didn’t have any interest in dating anyone younger. so when the devastating revelation was made during a dinner with the boys, kai’s heart shattered into dust. beomgyu felt bad, all he wanted to do was drop subtle hints that your “ideal type” was sitting right next to you. he didn’t expect you to list age as a preference.
kai was silent after dinner. he lay on his bedroom floor, staring up at the ceiling, thinking. does he just try to move on? would it hurt to try and change your mind? does he even have a chance to make you see him as boyfriend material? would you only ever see him as your cute best friend? he was heartbroken. but, that didn’t mean he lost all hope.
“so, what are you going to do now?” beomgyu asks, leaning against kai’s door frame.
kai sits up, letting out a deep sigh before looking up to the man who unintentionally caused his heartache.
“i’ve never felt so strongly about anyone in my life,” kai confesses. “but, what if i really have no chance?”
he paused, pondering whether his efforts to win you over would be pointless. as he was deep in his thoughts, his phone went off. a single text notification. kai picked it up from his bed, seeing your name flash on his lockscreen:
ynie 💕: there’s a new bakery by the company! we have to go together, hyukai!
with a smile on his face, kai looked up at beomgyu, who was patiently waiting to hear his verdict.
“hyung, i don’t want to give up.”
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
it started with changing the way he acted around you. he tried acting more forward and flirty. he thought maybe then you would start to see him as a man rather than a friend. and to start, he flaunted his biggest asset: his height. you were small in comparison to his physique, so it wasn’t too hard to find ways to fluster you. if you needed something from a higher shelf, he would come up behind you, placing a hand ever so gently on your back, and leaned over to grab whatever it was for you. you were caught off guard every time. the feeling of his hand on your back, the smell of his cologne intoxicating your senses. has your heart always skipped this fast?
you usually greeted each other with a hug, and kai began using this to his advantage. once he sees you running towards them waving your arm, he bends his legs ready to pick you up off the ground and spin you around. his arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing tightly, holding your body close to his. you’d both erupt into laughter every time, loving this new greeting. kai loved the feeling of holding you, taking in your scent as your arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders, burying his face in your neck. it felt like you were all his.
when it was movie night at their dorm, kai would make sure to sit next to you and bring a blanket for the two of you to share. he’d put his arm around you, his hand resting on the top of your head gently caressing your hair as you slowly began melting into his touch. his chest was broad, making him a perfect pillow. he was warm and smelled so nice, making him so inviting. his steady breath soothed you to sleep every time. has he always been this comforting?
you visited the boys during one of their fittings, bringing them snacks to replenish their energy. soobin, yeonjun, taehyun, and beomgyu welcomed you with warm smiles and head pats, thanking you for the snacks and refreshments. you looked around for kai, wondering where your favorite boy was. and as if on cue, the curtains to one of the changing rooms swiped open revealing kai in one of his prospective tour outfits. he walked out, tugging the sleeves and smoothing down his chest. he almost didn’t notice you, as you were too busy gawking at the sight of the fabric hugging his body. you were so used to seeing him in his hoodies and sweatpants. this new look wasn’t bad at all, but it was definitely not helping your flushed face calm down.
“yn!” he exclaimed, walking over to you to give you a quick hug before making his way to his stylist, leaving you dazed.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
your mind felt frazzled as you paced around your apartment, trying to make sense of these feelings you’ve been experiencing. kai has been acting differently lately, and you didn’t pay much attention to it at first. but, it started becoming strange when your usually shy, cute hyukai was suddenly acting more bold and charming towards you. almost.. flirtatious. whenever he puts his arms around you, or whenever his voice gets deeper speaking to you. the loving way he calls you by your nickname and holds you close to his chest when he hugs you. just thinking about it over again made your face flush and your chest feel heavy. what is going on? did you… like huening kai?
no. that can’t be it. he was your best friend in the company. your favorite boy. the boy who always came to see you in the morning with the sweetest smile. the boy who would always send you links to videos he knew you’d find funny. the boy who always held your hand and swung your arms when you walked together through the long hallways. the boy who made you smile when you were sad. the boy who made you feel cared for and wanted.. the boy who made your heart race with a single glance in your direction. the boy who made your heart flutter when he playfully blew you a kiss. the boy who had you daydreaming about when you’ll see him again…
oh.
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
a week had passed since you last hung out with the boys since their schedule began picking up. this was going to be the last time you could spend time with them before their tour started, so you made sure you could fit as much time together as possible today. you arrived at their dorm, excited to see your favorite boys again.
soobin opened the door for you, smiling as he greeted you and let you in. you removed your shoes and walked further into their dorm, greeting everyone as you saw them. every step you took made your head feel lighter and lighter. every step you took to see him. kai was in the kitchen, getting snacks prepared for everyone while they waited for their takeout dinner to arrive. you felt a skip in your step, almost as if you were hesitant to approach him, but you quickly caught yourself on the counter. kai turned quickly upon hearing your hitched squeal after almost tripping. his face concerned as he dropped what he was doing to approach you. he placed his hands on your shoulders, trying to get a good look at you to make sure you weren’t hurt.
“i’m okay, kai! i caught myself,” you said sheepishly, trying your best to avoid eye contact because you knew you were one glance away from turning into a tomato.
kai sighed, smiling as he ruffled your hair. “it’s good to see you again, yn-ie. i’ve missed you.”
there it was again. his deep voice. the way it sent shivers down your spine, making your heart pound in your ears. oh he’s so charming.
both of you joined the others in the living room, laying out the snacks on the coffee table. you arranged the plates neatly, making sure everyone had access to everything. once you were satisfied, you smiled to yourself and grabbed a few cookies for yourself before finding a place to sit. kai eagerly patted the empty seat on the couch next to him, lifting his blanket so you could settle yourself with him like always.
you shyly sat down, nervously tugging at your sleeves before draping the blanket over your legs. kai’s arm found its way around you again and he let out a relaxed breath, content with the proximity between you two. whereas you were feeling like you were about to suffocate from trying to hold your breath.
“hey, are you okay?” kai asks gently, rubbing your shoulder and pulling you closer. you were so stiff and rigid, it made his own breath hitch. he slowly let you go and began to worry. maybe he was overstepping your boundaries and you were too nice to tell him directly. fuck. he mentally cursed himself, trying to give you more space. you felt him let go and slowly move away. you quickly shook your head, words stuck in your throat, trying to reassure him you were alright.
it was no use. kai kept his distance, slowly inching further away from you as the movie went on. when your takeout arrived, he moved to the floor with yeonjun and beomgyu and stayed there for the remainder of the film. you were finally relaxed, but part of you was a little disappointed. you missed having his warmth next to you…
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
you began helping clean up after the final installment of the movie series was over. kai avoided you, trying his best to give you back your space. he walked briskly past you with dishes and trash to the kitchen. he was acting like you weren’t there anymore. you stood idly in the middle of the living room, confused and hurt. you were quickly brought out of your thoughts, however, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. you perked up, a smile on your face as you looked up to see… yeonjun. your smile faded, much to yeonjun’s offense. but he laughed it off.
“were you expecting someone else?” he laughed. “i just wanted to ask if you were okay? you look bummed.”
“sorry, jjunie,” you sighed. “but i’ll be fine. it’s nothing.”
your eyes diverted, locking their sights on kai who was wiping down the table. yeonjun followed your gaze, smiling to himself. he nudged you forward, “go talk to him.”
you spared a glance at yeonjun. he cocked his head, urging you to make a move. you took a deep breath and sighed. you had to talk to kai. you thought for a moment before approaching him. a lightbulb flashed over your head as you looked over at your bag by the foyer. you remembered you still had some new nail polishes you bought the other day in your bag. whenever you bought new polishes or stickers you always had kai test them out with you, since he always did the same with his sisters growing up.
you ran to grab your bag before making your way up to your best friend. the nerves were gone and a bright smile back across your lips as you excitedly tapped the taller boy’s shoulder. he looked back at you surprised, but immediately overcome with joy when he saw that beautiful smile beaming up at him. his favorite smile.
“i have new polishes to test! do you want to try them out with me?” you asked hopefully, waving your bag up to your chest. his worries immediately melted away. he nodded, holding his hand out for you to take to guide you back to his room.
you ran up to his desk, taking out all the polishes and stickers you had bought and laying them across the surface. kai brought a chair from the dining table for you to sit on while you played around with your new goodies. he set it down behind you, taking a seat on his own desk chair and examining the bottles and sheets in front of him. you had bought new shades of pink and yellow as well as flower and heart stickers. he smiled to himself, thinking about how cute you were when it came to nail art. you always get so excited to try new designs and color palettes.
“hands are washed?” you asked before taking your seat. he nodded, showing you his clean, pretty hands.
you sat down, adjusting your seat as necessary to get a good angle on kai’s hands. they were so pretty. his fingers were long and slender. his nail beds were perfect, not a chip or dent in sight. he had the most beautiful hands. the most perfect hands for you to hold. you took his right hand and began carefully applying a single coat of the pink polish on each finger. your breath was steady as you focused on staying within his nails. you almost didn’t notice him cautiously scooting closer.
“i, uhm,” kai began, clearing his throat. “i got you tickets for our shows here in seoul. if you wanna come, that is. you don’t have to though. no pressure or anything.”
you giggled, focus still on completing the second coat. “of course i’d love to come! are you kidding?”
kai bit his lip trying to stop himself from grinning too hard. he had always wanted you to come to one of their shows. his goal was always to have you there as his lover someday, but he was okay with having you there as his best friend first. maybe he could use this as an opportunity to charm you even further with how cool he can be on stage.
you held his hand, careful not to touch the fresh art, blowing gently at the wet polish trying to dry them faster before moving on to the next hand. kai stared at your soft features, obsessed with the way your eyelashes fluttered with every blink and how your nose scrunched lightly when you felt yourself getting lightheaded. you were so pretty. if he was being honest, he only let you test your nail products on him because it allowed him to stare at you all he wanted. you were too focused on doing his nails to notice the way his eyes practically twinkled with hearts as he admired you. sure, he loved having your experimental designs on him to show off. but, he loved being able to dote on you up close even more.
“done!” you said happily, letting him take a look at his pink nails with hearts.
he giggled. “how cute! makes me feel pretty,” he posed with his hand by his face, blowing you one of his infamous kisses. you could feel the tips of your ears getting hot and you just prayed your hair hid them well.
you reached for his other hand, trying to move on and distract your racing mind. kai closed his eyes, regret sprawling over his face. he did it again.
“i’m sorry, yn,” he said softly, looking down at his desk. you stopped painting, immediately looking up with widened eyes. why was he apologizing so suddenly?
“why are you sorry?” you asked, concern laced in your voice. you put down the polish, pushing everything aside to focus on your sulking best friend. “you didn’t do anything wrong?”
“yes i did,” he began. his eyes refused to meet yours. “i keep making you uncomfortable.”
“what? no, no! you’re not making me uncomfortable! what makes you think that?” you took his hands in yours trying to reassure him. you were far from feeling uncomfortable with kai. he made you shy, but never uncomfortable.
“i’m sorry,” he repeated, shutting his eyes tightly. “i keep trying to flirt with you and all i’m doing is making you uncomfortable to be around me. you get so tense and you barely look at me anymore. i’m so sorry, yn! it’s okay if you don’t like me, i should’ve just asked before going ahead and pushing your boundaries.”
his voice cracked, tears threatening to fall through his tightly shut eyes. he felt awful. his grand plan was backfiring and in the worst way possible. he was okay with you not liking him back now, he just didn’t want you to hate him and think he’s a creep. losing you all together would be so much worse than you not reciprocating his feelings.
you were stunned. you didn’t know what to say. his words just barely process through your mind. did you hear him correctly?
“kai, what are you talking about?” you managed to spit out. you felt breathless. your heart was pounding so fast it felt like it stopped, and all that was left was a humming sound in your ears.
kai opened his eyes, slowly turning his head to look at you. his eyes were glassy, tears pooling at the brim. you’ve never seen him cry and the sight made you feel like your whole world was collapsing. kai took a deep breath, blinking once to collect himself. the pooled tears began to fall across his pink cheeks. you reached out slowly, cupping his face in your palms and wiping his tears away with a stroke of your thumbs.
it was in that moment you realized how he felt. the way his eyes were so sad, yet full of absolute adoration as he looked at you. his lips turned down into a pout, trying their best to keep him from crying out loud. he sniffled as he searched your eyes for any hint of how you felt. but all he saw was confusion and concern. he had to lay it all out now.
his lips parted, but he stayed silent for a moment. kai took your hands from his face and held them between his own, eyes never looking away from yours.
“yn, i like you,” he began. his voice was unsteady. “i’ve like you for a while. and when you said you didn’t like younger guys, i had the stupid idea to try and change your mind. i’ve been trying to be more manly and flirt more directly, hoping i could win your heart. i wanted to prove i could be a man for you too. but instead i’ve been making you tense and uncomfortable and i’m so sorry. it’s okay if you don’t like me back. i’ll stop my advances and everything, just please don’t leave me. i didn’t mean to act like a creep.”
he was so sincere. it made your heart hurt just knowing he was so afraid of you not wanting to be around him anymore. you didn’t mean to come across as uncomfortable. but, you just got so flustered and shy all you could do was retreat from his attention. and in reality it was quite the opposite. you loved his attention. it made your heart flutter and filled your tummy with butterflies. you liked him. you really liked him.
“oh, my baby,” you cooed, lunging yourself forward from your seat and wrapping your arms around kai’s shoulders. he was stunned. he hesitantly wrapped his arms around your waist, his grip tightening as he relaxed in your embrace. he closed his eyes and burried his face in your neck, more tears threatening to escape.
“you never made me uncomfortable,” you said softly by his ear. “and i’m sorry i made you think that.”
you pulled away, smiling sweetly as you took his face back in your hands and wiped his tears away. he sniffled, trying to keep his composure, waiting for what you had to say about his confession. his eyes widened as your face inched closer to his, pulling him close and finally closing the gap between you. your lips felt so soft and plush, just as he always dreamed they would. his eyes fluttered closed as he melted into your touch, hands resting at the curve of your waist. this was it. this was the moment he had been dreaming of for months. he could taste the hint of strawberry from your lip balm as you moved your lips against his, fogging his mind. it was so sweet. so intoxicating. you pulled away gently. cheeks blushed as you watched him slowly come out of his dazed expression.
“i really like you, too,” you finally confessed. “there’s no other man for me, but you.”
kai’s face lit up, joy overcoming him as he wrapped his arms around you and stood up to spin you around. he squeezed you tightly, not wanting to let you go. you weren’t so eager to let him go either. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and tangled your hands in his fluffy, black hair. you pushed yourself up just enough to look at him, smiling before leaving a quick peck on the bump of his nose. kai let you down, grabbing a hold of your hands in his and held them against his chest so you could feel his heart.
“what changed your mind? not that i’m complaining or anything,” he laughed, his eyes staring down at you with the most intense admiration. his pupils dilated and glossed over. he has never felt happier.
“nothing,” you giggled. “i think i’ve always liked you. but since you started being more bold with your advances, i’ve been getting so nervous around you. i felt like i was going to explode every time you were around. but, i loved every minute i spent surrounded by your warmth. i was just shy, kai. not uncomfortable. you stole my heart.”
a smug smile made its way to kai’s face.
“you’re all mine,” he said lovingly, bringing your hands up to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss on your knuckles. “finally.”
you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your ear against his chest hearing how fast his heart was racing. hearing him call you ‘his’ filled your stomach with those same butterflies. both of you stood there for a moment, just taking in each other’s presence and embrace. neither of you wanting to let go.
“you know,” you said, propping your chin on his chest to look up at him. “i still like you when you’re your usual sweet, cute self right?”
he let out a soft giggle. “yeah, but i like how shy you get when i use my manly charms,” kai said proudly, earning a giggle from you. “and i’ll be sure to use them when i take you out on a proper first date when i come back.”
you knew you fell for the right guy. you’re just shocked it took you this long to realize it, but you’re willing to wait however long you need just to be with him. afterall, kai was the perfect man for you.
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© txtaetertots
628 notes · View notes
thelightsandtheroses · 10 months
Text
sing fever to the form | frankie morales x female reader
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Summary: Fake dating Frankie Morales seemed the obvious solution to both of your problems, until you caught feelings and now everything is a mess. Pairing: Frankie Morales x female reader Warnings: language and explicit content, 18+ blog - minors do not interact, a little angst with a happy ending romcom style,no physical descriptors, no use of Y/N or specific age mentions for the reader. Word Count: 6.3k Notes: the fic title is from one of my absolute favourite songs which features on every single playlist i ever compile (fever to the form by nick mulvey). I also owe a huge thank you to the lovely @mvtthewmurdvck for her support on this one 💕 i think without her, this would have probably languished in my drafts.
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In the cold light of Benny Miller’s bathroom, you come to the conclusion that you’ve made several mistakes. The worst one of these, the one that set the rest in motion like dominoes, had honestly seemed like such a good idea at the time. It appeared such an obvious solution to the numerous questions, interrogations and unspoken pity that you were encountering. You could never have expected this.
You’d moved to Florida for work some time ago and while you had friends and a great career, your love life was definitely lacking. People picked up on it and while no one directly said it, you felt you were continually judged.  Sure, it was all well and good that you had a nice job, but if no one’s dating you -  well, what’s your red flag?
Between that and the fact your parents kept asking about whether or not you were dating, or if you’d met anyone nice at work, it started to weigh on you. Was there a problem with the way you were living - was it you? Your loved ones seemed so disappointed that you weren’t dating and putting yourself ‘out there in the world’. You tried to tell them the dating pool was not great, that the apps were awful and the only guys you ever seemed to attract came with so many of their own red flags that they could have lined the whole of your street. You’d dated enough bad guys already, you didn’t want to date any more.
You just needed some space.
Frankie was your friend and he was experiencing similar pressures. His friends were asking him when he’d start dating again and he was grappling with a new status as a single father. So, he also needed a break, needed to remove some of the noise from those around him.
Fake dating might belong in the movies, but it seemed an obvious solution to both of your predicaments. For a while, it was perfect. 
Frankie is the ideal fake boyfriend, he’s better than any you could have ever imagined. In fact, he is probably the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, which is part of the problem. Most of your previous boyfriends hadn’t been the best, and suddenly here’s Frankie, acting like the perfect man for you?
Of course, you ended up falling for him.
It might have seemed a good idea back then, only now you’re hiding in a bathroom, fighting back tears and berating yourself as the BBQ you’d been looking forward to carries on outside. You’re so stupid. This is a dumb game. It isn’t real.
You’re not supposed to catch feelings.
But you have.
“So, how did we get together?” Frankie asks, leaning his head back against the sofa so you can see all the freckles on his neck above his hoodie.
“Um…” you chew your lip, take a gulp of your drink, “I have no idea.”
Frankie’s house is the sort of home that has comforting chaos and mess to it. His daughter’s things are strewn around the living room, an aviation manual rests on open pages on the coffee table next to you and a pile of battered paperbacks are stacked next to the sofa. The walls are a warm yellow; surprisingly comforting and bright. It’s a stark contrast to how Frankie presents himself outside of his home - cool, collected, a little quiet.
His home feels lived in. You always feel comfortable here.
“We could say that we just realised one day, hanging out, I mean crazier things have happened. A big story would stand out. KISS principles an’ all.”
“What did you just say?’” you ask. “Did you just say kissing principles?”
“Kiss?” He shakes his head. “Keep it simple, stupid! The way I see it, the only way for us to get away with this is to keep it realistic, boring almost so people don’t ask more,” Frankie says thoughtfully. 
“Ah, so hooking up with you would be boring? That’s good to know.”
“Oh, carinô, if I kissed you for real that is not the word you’d use …”Frankie trails off, mischievously raises an eyebrow.
“Ergh, you can be so arrogant,” you tease, “Okay, fine. We had a sudden movie like realisation and what - we just got together and then what did we do?”
“Well then, y’know, by that point, you couldn’t exactly walk away.” Frankie smirks salaciously.
You throw a sofa cushion at him.“I think I hate you, Frankie Morales..”
“No, no that’s definitely not what you said.” 
“So,” Frankie pauses, runs a hand through his hair. “We should agree what the boundaries are, when we’re with others.”
“Others?”
“Yes, when we’re with our friends. It needs to be believable, right? And I’m sorry, but if we stay like we are now, around my friends, then they’ll know it’s fake in five minutes.”
“Why?”
“I did an online quiz with my ex and um, physical touch is my love language,” Frankie says sheepishly. 
“You do know that whole love language thing is bullshit, right?”
“No, it’s not. Jessie said -”
“She’s wrong.”
“Regardless, the quiz said that - ergh, fine, whatever. So, what’s the plan there? I don’t want either us to feel uncomfortable though, okay.”
“We’ve been friends a long time,” you say lightly, “This won’t change that. We can figure this out.” It’s not like you’ve never hugged Frankie or he hasn’t put an arm around you before. How hard can it be - you need people to believe you?
“Also, I am not lying to my kid, or getting her to lie for me. We need to keep her out of it, tell everyone else we’re taking it slow with her until we know it’s serious, okay?” Frankie looks at you with a suddenly serious expression. Oh god, he’s a dad and this is stupid and complicated and you can’t involve her in this and you’ve just been discussing the physical boundaries in this stupid game and this is ridiculous. 
It was a pathetic idea of yours.
“Maybe we shouldn’t -”
“It’s fine. We just keep her out of this.”
“Okay, that sounds sensible.”
“So we’re really doing this then?” he asks with a shy smile.
“Yeah, I think we are.”
It’s Frankie. What other choice was there when it came down to it? It’s Frankie with his deep brown eyes that have mastered the puppy dog expression and his shy smiles. You care about him and all of his insecurities, doubts and vulnerabilities you’ve learned over the years. They make him tangible, real, and truer. Perhaps you always liked him and you didn’t know. Maybe you did and subconsciously thought this was the only way you’d have him which is why you’d pursued such a ridiculous idea. Perhaps you had thought this would be like the movies, that he’d confess his love for you and you’d drive off into the sunset.
You’re now accustomed to the way his hands skim your back or waist when you’re with friends, the way he leans closer to you and you can feel his breath against your ear when he whispers sweet nothings in his low voice, smell the laundry detergent on his clothes.
He’s so convincing.
No one has ever questioned whether it’s real with the two of you. You don’t think it would ever cross their mind that the two of you are fake dating. 
Your body and mind certainly doesn’t think it’s fake anymore.
You sit on the edge of the bath and try and try and pinpoint when you realised you felt this way. You’ve both been flirting with danger for weeks; the way you’ve let him trace shapes on your side when he pulls you close, how you lean into the crook of his neck, play with the ends of his curls when you’re out with friends. You tell yourself it’s just to make it look real, to make this situation look authentic.
You’ve certainly fooled yourself.
You’re not even sure when you realised this. One moment everything was like normal and then it wasn’t. Perhaps it’s your fault, you have always been a dreamer. You’ve always walked through life fantasising that this will be the moment when everything changes, when you suddenly fit in and someone will like you or fall in love with you. Given the way your mind works, it was inevitably a stupid idea to even try this with Frankie.
It’s been overwhelming at the BBQ today; the gentle touches, the way he looks at you and you almost believe it’s genuine.  It wouldn’t normally bother you so much, but now you’re aching for it to be something it can’t be and it’s all too much.
You couldn’t help looking at Frankie throughout the BBQ; wanting to count the freckles on his neck, to run your hands through the curls hidden by his hat as you notice the ends peeking out at the nape of his neck. You’re always taken with the broadness of his shoulders too, his hands. 
You’re completely doomed. 
You can’t do this anymore. It’s not fair, it’s a betrayal of your friendship with him. It’s a betrayal of his trust because agreeing to do this fake dating was an exercise in trust, one you are failing.
You’ve been thinking about it for days. The reason you feel so safe with Frankie is because it’s not real, because you weren’t supposed to have to give your heart away. It was just meant to distract people so you could breathe again. You’ve seen too many romcoms and movies, you’re too much of a dreamer to have ever let this work without getting messy. You thought you could be detached and objective, but you can’t.
It’s you, you’re the one who has screwed up.
So you go downstairs, make your excuses and leave.
You’ve been fake dating for two weeks and this just might be your best relationship ever.  You can’t decide if that’s sweet or perhaps the most depressing thing you’ve ever admitted.
You’re in Frankie’s car on the way to Tom’s birthday, playing with the handle of the gift bag you’re holding. The sun is out, Frankie’s playlist is setting the scene and you feel so happy in this moment.
“Don’t be surprised if they say something about us,” Frankie says casually as he changes gear, “The guys have been giving me grief since I told them about us. Well, since I told them about what we’re saying about us, anyway.”
“I thought the idea was it would stop them giving you grief?”
“Oh, this is much better than it was, trust me,” he says, laughing as he looks at the road ahead. With his sunglasses on, no hat and a loose t-shirt he looks more relaxed than you’ve ever seen him. Frankie strikes you as a tightly wound coil, he’s just got that energy. He’s calm, not something or someone you are afraid of, but you recognise the way he thinks, see the nervous anticipation in his eyes before he smiles at one of his friends on a night out.
You see the same thing in yourself.
“You know, I can’t believe this is working,” you say cheerfully to Frankie, “My mom has even stopped sending me those news articles about people who meet their soulmates later in your life.”
“Your mom was sending you those?” Frankie asks, raising an eyebrow. 
“She means well,” you say placidly. “My parents have always had a lot of expectations for me.”
“Shit.” He reaches over and squeezes your hand. “Well, I can promise you that you’re the best fake girlfriend I’ve ever had.”
“Likewise, Frankie, likewise.”
You don’t mean to ghost Frankie after the BBQ. It’s just you’re not sure what to say to him. I’m sorry, but I think this fake dating is getting a little too authentic because I might be falling for you?
You can’t do that to him, can’t embarrass yourself with your stupid crush either. It’s better to just ignore the messages, pretend it’s not happening and bury your head in the sand.
Of course, Frankie knows where you live, so you shouldn’t be as surprised as you are when he turns up at your home.
“So what’s going on? I texted you,” he says with a forced casual voice as he leans against your kitchen counter. He’s wearing a loose t-shirt and jeans, his usual hat discarded next to him. He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at you.
You don’t want to look at him properly, so you focus your attention on your kitchen tiles instead . You really need to mop the kitchen floor later. 
“I think, I think this thing has run its course.”
“Oh, really?” Frankie looks surprised, almost sad, when you dare to look at him, “I thought this was working well for us both.”
“A little too well,” you mumble under your breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
You sigh.
“Hey, cariño, talk to me.”
“It’s just us, Frankie, you don’t have to call me that right now.”
“Why, do you not like it?”
You exhale again with exasperation and shake your head. Just make this easier on me, you think, stop muddying the water. When you meet Frankie’s eyes he looks perplexed though, concerned and his brow is furrowed.
“What’s going on?” he asks, arms folded as he looks over at you. “Talk to me.”
“I think we should stop with this fake dating arrangement. I mean, the idea was just to do it until my friends and my parents were off my back and until your friends were off yours, and they are. So, let’s call it a win and move on.”
“Did something happen?” Frankie asks. “You meet someone?” There’s a strange tone to his voice, almost wistful.
“No, no. I just - I don’t think we should keep doing this. I mean that girl asked you out last week at the bar and because Will and I were with you, you said no.” 
“She wasn’t my type anyway and that’s what this is about? Come on!”
“I’m - I’m clearly holding you back and that’s not what this was supposed to be.”
“Is this what you really want?”
“Absolutely,” you lie brightly, smiling as widely as you can. “We’re friends and we’ve helped each other out so let’s bow out of this gracefully. We can say to the others - we can tell them we realised that we’re better off as friends.”
“Right. Okay.”
“Okay?” you repeat, disappointed that he’s just giving up, that this really is it. 
A small part of you was holding out hope for Frankie fighting back, for him to declare his love for you, take you into his arms and then for the two of you to have the most passionate, intense sex of your life right there in the kitchen. That’s what happens in the movies and books. It’s all meant to end with a kiss.
Only he doesn’t do that.
He just quietly acquiesces to your demand that this ends now and when he smiles, as though his acceptance will make you happy, he shatters your heart into a million pieces.
You have no idea how your friendship will recover from this. You have no idea how to watch someone else love Frankie in the future, to watch him put his hands on someone else or look at them like he looked at you and know it’s real for them but wasn’t for you.
“I should probably go,” Frankie says, his gaze fixated on the floor.
“Oh, right. Well, I’ll see you around.”
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The story of your breakup spreads quickly. Your friends are disappointed, they tell you it’s obvious you both liked each other, they ask if you’re sure you can’t work it out? Your parents are clearly disappointed, but at the same time you catch a glance of relief on your mother’s face when you tell her.
“He’s complicated,” she says, taking a sip from her cup of tea.  It’s your mom’s first visit in months, a visit you had originally planned during the fake dating misadventure.  
“Complicated?”
“He’s a single father and the job he has? Being a pilot isn’t like a regular 9-5.” 
“He makes his hours work for his kid, and none of those things were the reason we broke up”you say defensively. “And at my age, most people have previous relationships and baggage so I don’t think that makes him any more complicated than anyone else I could meet.”
“You don’t, darling, you don’t have any baggage.”
“That in itself is clearly a complication,” you say, rolling your eyes like a petulant teenager. “I mean, you and Dad hated it when I was single. You were always asking if I’d met someone, or if I was looking and -“ you trail off and stare at your hands on the table. Your nail varnish is chipped. Rouge Noir, the classic vampy red you always put on when you’re feeling blue, when you need a confidence boost. It’s not working for you right now though.
“We just want you to be happy,” your mom says, gently taking her hands in yours. “Whatever that looks like.”
“I am happy.” It’s meant to sound assertive but it comes out more like a question as you speak. You’re happy, dammit. Or you were before everything went wrong.
“No, honey, you’re in the middle of a break up and it’s obvious you still feel something for him. Are you sure - are you sure it’s over? You told me you were the one who ended things.”
“Yeah, I did. I don’t think - I don’t think it’s a good idea, mom. I’ll get over it. I have this big work project and then that trip and the apartment move soon, so I’ll be fine.”
You’re not sure of anything now. You thought stopping the arrangement with Frankie would save your friendship, but it didn’t. Now you don’t have him at all and it fucking hurts.
You are so angry and sad and confused. This is all your fault for getting feelings that you’d laughed at the possibility of months ago. You’ve lost him anyway and it’s caused a great  chasm in your heart.
 How can you be mourning something that wasn’t even real in the first place?
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When you became friends with Frankie, he introduced you to some of his friends from his military days. While you didn’t exactly get on with all of them, Tom is aloof at best, Benny and you had become friends over time. In the wake of your fictionalised break-up, you’ve lost those people too. You’ve avoided Benny’s fights, wanted Frankie to have his friends without the bother of you. Besides, you’ve been focused on work. You had a trip away for a few days and then you had a big project, presentations. Work has been something to throw yourself into.
It’s a good plan, but Benny keeps texting you and personally invites you to his next fight.
You and Frankie have both said you’re still friends so what’s the problem?
I don’t know if it’s a good idea.
Just come to the damn fight, would you? Liv keeps asking after you.
You decide you should go at least once to show your face. You can do this, you can handle one night. You like Liv, Benny’s girlfriend, and you can say hello and then vanish quickly after the fight ends. If you’re careful with the seating set up, you might not even see Frankie or have to talk to him at all.
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The bar is crowded and while Will, Santiago, Tom and Frankie all greeted you when you arrive, it feels different. Stilted somehow.
 It’s almost how it would feel if this was a genuine break up, if this was real. You suppose it is to Santiago, Tom and Will.
You sat with Benny’s girlfriend, Liv, for the fight. She squeezed your hand sympathetically when she catches you looking over at Frankie.
Frankie still looks the same as ever, you think as you cast your eyes over to where he is in the crowd. He’s wearing his usual hat, the one you’ve teased him about for years but can’t picture him ever giving up, with well fitting jeans and a jacket. He looks infuriatingly good.
Before the fight Frankie had moved so he was next to you and he looked like he wanted to say something to you before the fight began. Panicked, you quickly moved next to Liv instead and so you were sitting on the other side of the group to him as you took your seats.
Crisis averted, you thought. Only now, you can’t stop wondering what he might have said to you.
“I can’t see why you can’t get it together,” Benny says, taking a sip from his bottle of beer. The two of you are standing together by the bar, waiting for the rest of the group’s drinks. Benny’s mostly fixed up from his fight, with just a small red stain on his forehead between the steri-strips and bruises. You think the other guy must look a lot worse. 
“Wait, what did you say?” you ask.
“I don’t see why you and Frankie can’t work it out. I mean, look at him,” Benny points his bottle towards your friends, to where your attention had just been. Frankie’s standing on the edge of the group, arms folded, hat rigid. He looks uncomfortable.
You shouldn’t have come here tonight.
“We tried and it wasn’t a good fit. It wasn’t going to work out,,” you say flatly, repeating the line you and Frankie had agreed on.
“Look, you might have fooled the others, but you can’t fool me.”
Your stomach sinks. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I know you guys were fake dating at first.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You could barely keep your stories straight about how you got together when I asked,” Benny says softly. “You kept adding details and I noticed Frankie shake his head whenever you did that.”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Does Frankie know?” You’re mortified for him, you know how embarrassed he would feel if he found out that Benny had guessed all along it was fake.
This really can’t get any worse.
“‘Cause you two obviously liked each other. I assumed that you’d figure it out along the way. I thought you had, but then -” Benny trails off.
“You know when you assume, you make an ass -”
‘Oh sweetheart, don’t even finish that sentence.“ Benny exhales. “How are you holding up?”
“It’s what you said, it was fake and we ended it and it’s all fine now.”
“Bullshit,” Benny exclaims, his southern drawl even more pronounced.
“It’s not.”
“It is.”
The bartender interrupts by finally handing you the rest of your drinks and between you and Benny, you take them and rejoin your friends.
‘Cause you two obviously liked each other.
Benny’s words echo in your mind. He didn’t say because you liked Frankie, but because you both did.
Frankie doesn’t like you like that though, you know this. He’s clearly just a very good actor.
You end up the one handing Frankie his drink, no doubt due to Benny’s meddling. Your hands brush against his as he takes the bottle and you can’t help looking up at him, noticing the unreadable expression on his face.
Will coughs loudly and you quickly take a step back.
“It was a good fight, Benny,” you say awkwardly, hoping he’ll take the change of subject.
“I need a smoke,” Frankie says, hunching his shoulders as he walks away from the group.
The room instantly turns cold. 
You awkwardly pull the edge of your jacket down, wishing the ground would swallow you up. Santi, Tom and Will are staring at you and you can’t be here. They hate you, they’re judging you.
This is so fucked up.
“I’m uh, going to go.”
Liv makes a motion as if to stop you, but she doesn’t, and Benny’s looking at you with real disappointment but that doesn’t stop you either. You’re getting good at running away now.
You’re too afraid to look behind you and see whether they’re looking at you as you walk away.
Frankie’s standing by the parking lot when you finally weave your way past the crowds and bloody fighters to reach the exit.
He looks surprised to see you. Just seeing his face makes your heart ache because you’ve lost him, you’ve lost him and you didn’t want to.
“I’m leaving now, so you can go back in” you say flatly.
“I was just having a smoke,” he says defensively. It’s an obvious lie, you both know it.
“Sure, Frankie. Look, you can’t just stomp off like that. You can’t leave me in that position with everyone. It’s not fair.”
“Yeah, well, there’s a lot of things we don’t discuss, lot of things that aren’t fair,” Frankie says bitterly, tossing his cigarette to the floor and stamping on it a little too vigorously.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What’s going on with you? This wasn’t meant to affect our friendship. I never, ever would have agreed if I’d known,” Frankie says firmly. “You were my friend and I still wanted you to be but you ghosted me and ended our deal. That’s fine, but we didn’t go back to normal after. We just - it’s like you hate me now.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Just would you tell me what I did wrong?”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then why -”
“It was too real,” you whisper, folding your arms around yourself and leaning against the brick wall.
“What? What did you say?” Frankie asks, moving closer.
“You know, the faking it thing. It was too real, it was confusing me. And I - I didn’t want to ruin everything but I still ruined it all. Story of my life.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” You think, somehow he’s going to break your heart even more tonight and you didn’t think that was possible..
“I just - I got confused.”
“How did you get confused?” he asks in a low voice, taking another step closer to you.
“Don’t, Frankie, don’t make me say it.”
“Say what?” he asks, dramatically throwing his hands in the air, “I can’t understand you. I mean, this was your idea and then you ended it and now you don’t even want to be friends? I don’t know what I did but -”
“You did nothing, Frankie. It’s me, not you.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Clearly something happened. Can’t you just talk to me? I’m fucking miserable here. You were supposed to be my friend and I miss you.” You hadn’t thought that your actions could have hurt Frankie, you thought you were protecting him by doing what you did.
You feel even worse, a sick feeling rising in your stomach. 
“It got muddled in my head, okay, it felt like it was real and I couldn’t do that to you, so that’s why - that’s why.” You falter at the end of your sentence as all of the adrenaline and energy from your body fades away..
“It got too real for you? What are you saying?”
“That I like you. That I ended up liking you more than I should, you obtuse jerk!”
Frankie pauses then takes another step closer. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, a slight smile on his face that you can’t make any sense of.
“It’s embarrassing, Frankie. We made an arrangement and I caught feelings like an idiotic teenager. I’m just daydreaming my life away again.”
Frankie is so close to you right now, he braces his hands against the wall as he stands right in front of you.
“You caught feelings, huh?”
You notice a familiar smirk on his face and then he’s kissing you.
Frankie’s kissed you before; it’s been part of the facade after all, but not like this.
This kiss is everything. It sends molten heat down your core, renders your mind completely blank. All the anxiety, all the internal dialogue is gone for once. The silence is blissful as you can feel your heart pounding, take in the soft texture of Frankie’s shirt as you fist it to pull him closer because now he’s with you like this, you can’t let him go.
It’s not an aggressive kiss, it’s not teeth clashing or fury. It’s not exactly gentle either.  Frankie kisses you with care; like he’s trying to take you apart right here and now with just a kiss.
In just one minute, he’s ruined you for other people. No one else could kiss you like Frankie does.
“I told you, if I kissed you for real it wouldn’t be boring,” Frankie mumbles, moving his attention down your jaw and neck to your collarbone. You can feel the velvet softness of his lips, the heat of his breath.
“Oh fuck you,” you joke.
”Well, baby, I think I’m trying. Not here though, we can do better than that.”
You both laugh. The tension breaks for just a second as you wrap your arms around his shoulders, laugh into his neck, breathe him in.
“C’mon, you had to know I liked you. I just, I  just thought you deserved someone better than me -” Frankie starts.
“That’s bullshit,” you argue. Frankie is kind, thoughtful and funny. He’s also so competent, multi-skilled and as you’ve just learned, an excellent kisser. Frankie has that quiet and collected energy you’ve noticed in a lot of ex-military people too. He flies planes and helicopters for a living. He’s your friend. How could you deserve any better than him?
“Can we get out of here?” Frankie asks, “Talk, not talk, I don’t mind. I just - I want to be with you right now. God, I missed you.”
“Okay. I really fucking missed you too,” you say, kissing his shoulder lightly before leaning back against the wall.
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He doesn’t stop touching you the whole way to your apartment. He’s either holding your hand or touching your leg. If he has to temporarily remove himself to make a turn or change gear, he’s immediately back with you as soon as possible. You wonder if he’s worried you’ll leave or vanish if he’s not actually touching you, if he’s also wondering if this is really happening..
His car stereo blares uncharacteristically cheerful music by the latest pop sensation and you raise your eyebrows when he looks over at you.
“It’s her favourite album by her favourite singer and school’s been rough for her the last few weeks so this cheers her up,” he says defensively, flexing his fingers on the steering wheel, “I think I can probably hear it even when it’s not playing now.”
“Sure, but your daughter’s not in the car with us. Is she, Frankie? You could have switched it over.”
“I keep forgetting to change the CD,” he whines unconvincingly. “This car’s old.”
You make your way to your apartment, his arm around you, fingers entwined with yours the whole time.
As soon as you close the front door, he’s pushing your back against the wall, cupping his hands around your face to kiss you deeply.
You move your hands up to meet his and then move one of your hands down his chest.
“Your heart’s racing like crazy,” you mumble as he kisses a particular spot on your neck.
There’s always a moment of fear at a junction like this. What if the sex is bad - what if you’re just not compatible this way? But you need him, you need him with you, in you and the two of you are both too far gone to focus on that now.
Your friendship is changed anyway. There’s nothing more to lose.
He places his hands on your hips, pulls you away towards your bedroom.
“I want you so much,” he says.
“I want you too,” you reply, dazed between kisses as he navigates you to the edge of your bed.
He ghosts his hands down to the edge of your top and you move to desperately pull it off you.
You watch him take in the sight of you in your bra, take in the smile on his face. He looks at you with something like reverence; as if he can’t quite take it in that you’re real and you’re with him. Part of you wants to glow under his gaze and the rest of you fights panic, because this feels different, it feels real. You’ve never been looked at like this before.
You’ll do anything to keep this moment.
He gently unhooks your bra, moves his kisses down from your lips to your neck to your collarbone to the curve of your breasts and then down again.
His hands fumble with the button of your jeans and you’re desperate for him.
“What do you want, baby?”
You, you think, I just want you.
”C’mon, tell me,” he coaxes.
“I just need you. I want you to - ”
“I’ve got you,” he says, calmly lifting your hips to remove your jeans, to touch the hem of your underwear - and could you have not put better underwear on this morning?
You open your mouth to say something but then he comes back to meet your lips as he moves his hand inside your underwear. You’re already slick with wanting him, he slides a finger inside before tracing circles over your bundle of nerves to make you gasp.
 “You’re so fucking pretty,” he whispers as he continues taking you apart.
“Frankie -”
“I’ve liked you for so long, I just thought you didn’t want me that way. I’d take anything you give me - friendship, I mean fake dating. I thought it was as close as I’d get.”
“Frankie, how could I not want you that way? You’re - you’re Frankie.”
“Exactly.”
“I’m going to show you.”
You feel your orgasm building and clasp your hands over his shoulders, into his hair. You shut your eyes and then it’s gone.
“Frankie?”
You open your eyes to see him take his finger into his mouth then mischievously smiles as he moves back and off the bed. He moves you so your legs are over the edge of the bed and then. He gets on his knees.
You take a deep breath He kisses the inside of your knee, traces kiss up your thigh until he meets you. You sit up slightly on your elbows as he looks up to meet your gaze with a dazed smile before he turns his attention to you.
Frankie Morales knows exactly what he’s doing between your legs but in case, you tell him how good he is anyway. He takes you apart with expert precision, gets you back to the precipice of pleasure all too quickly and guides you over the line.
“Do you want to -” he asks breathlessly as he comes back to you afterwards and kisses you. You can taste yourself on his lips, can feel his hardness pressing into you.
“Yeah, I do. I have uh - condoms in the bathroom cabinet.”
“Give me a second.” He kisses you briefly and you shut your eyes again as he goes to the bathroom. You try and catch your breath back and get your legs to stop trembling.
Why are the condoms so fucking far away? You still desperately need him, still need to feel him.
When Frankie comes back, he kisses you hungrily before he slides the condom over his length.
“Fuck, to think we could have been doing this the whole time,” he says before he’s sliding inside you.
There’s nothing else at this moment. It’s just you and him and the way you dig your fingers into his back with your free hand and the way your other hands is entwined in his as he moves inside you, the two of you desperately exchanging  sweet nothings to each other, groaning each other’s names.
Your heart is racing and the blood is pumping in your ears. You watch the expression on his face just before he buries his face in your neck, sure he can feel the way you’re tightening around him, can surely feel how close you are too and then just as he takes you to that place one more time, you hear the way he moans as he joins you.
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The next morning you watch Frankie pacing your balcony as speaks on the phone to his daughter. His hair is still damp from the shower, curling at the ends, and he has a mug of coffee in his other hand. He turns and smiles at you.
Just twenty four hours ago, you never thought Frankie could feel that way about you. You were resigned to your mistakes and your losses.
You were wrong.
He hangs up the phone and you walk over to join him on the balcony, your mug of coffee tightly clasped between your hands.
“Hi.”
“Hey,” he says, putting his phone in his pocket and wrapping his now free arm around you as he takes a gulp of coffee.
You take a sip of your own coffee.
“I was just thinking,” Frankie says, “so, I guess the story we came up with before was true, right? We just realised how we felt about each other one day - and okay, it might have taken some fake dating to get us both there - but no one else needs to know that.”
“No one else needs to know that.”
You definitely need to tell Frankie at some point that Benny has figured everything out, that Benny clearly pushed you two together last night. You probably owe him a thank you, but you’ll never tell Benny that.
“So, what do we do now?” There’s a lot you need to discuss, figure out, but you just want to be with him. Surely that’s enough for now.
Frankie grins. “Well, I don’t need to be home until the afternoon so I’ve got some time right now.”
“I’m sure we can think of some things to fill that time.”
Frankie laughs. “Definitely.”
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Tag List
All Pedro characters: @harriedandharassed @pedrostories @hiroikegawa @pedrosaidsheispunk
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loveemagicpeace · 1 year
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👑Astrology Notes👑
🥤This is just my opinion but I think that signs that you have in your 2nd , 3rd , 6th house you will feel the least. Because these are houses that are not so much connected to you, but more to everyday life, material things, etc. They are more houses that indicate what you need. And you won't have as much romantic contact with these people. The same goes for the 7th house -this house represents your ideal, which would be the most suitable for you. But it doesn't mean that this is the sign you feel the most or want. A lot of people actually don't like a 7th house sign because it's a sign that is the opposite of who you are.
🍒Aries travel alone at least once in their lives. They are a very independent sign and easily do things on their own. They don't look at other people that much. That's why they do things on their own and can have fun on their own.
💡Venus in Taurus- Many times I notice that they are in love with money haha, and many times I also notice how they wear a lot of jewelry, it's usually bigger. In particular, I often notice thick necklaces on men. They can be very stubborn in love. They almost never make the first move.
🌿A lot of times, Geminis seem like people with multiple personalities and appearances. I swear they always have at least two looks that make them seem like two different people. And it's actually kind of fun because it looks like you have someone next to you who has two different looks and it makes them seem like they have a completely different personality.
🍃Mercury in Gemini- I like how you can talk to them about things even if they are not always that deep. They know how to communicate and their words come across beautifully.
🫧Uranus in 1st house - you make an impression on people everywhere you go. People remember you even when you least expect it. You always leave an impression on people. People always remember you for something.
🧸Taurus moon- I have never delved so deeply into this moon. But I noticed that many times they want things to stay the same. They do not like to change the environment. Even their feelings can be the same for a long time. Because this is a stable moon and they like things from the past to stay the same. And I also notice that their emotions are not so visible and are quite stable. They hide a lot of emotions inside themselves, but they don't share them with others.
Leo venus & mars people are devoted only when they have mature energy. If they have childlike energy, they have a hard time bonding or staying serious. I feel that they like to have fun and have a good time. And they can't imagine life without it. But it seems to me that when they really love someone, then they will do everything for that person. This can be quite selfish and tricky placement.
💕Cancer moon- this moon is very emotional, caring, compassionate and often makes a positive impression on people. Many times you can bring out other people's emotions or their warmer side. With you, people can feel at home and like you really care about them. People don't even know how much you can impress them because you have an understanding inside you that others don't have.
🧚🏼‍♀️When you share the 12th house with a person or both have planets in the 12th house you may feel like you have a different understanding than you do with others. You can create your own magical world in which you live. It's all based on imagination. A connection out of this world. They do things that are unusual like (they have a wizarding school or they play games that are more related to imagination and fantasy).
🌊Water signs feel so many things that they cannot be described. They feel everything magnified like other signs (anger, emotions, sadness, joy, happiness). They put all or nothing into something. They cannot feel something or give something that is half-hearted. If you hurt them then you will see their other side. I really like the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind because it reminds me of how strong emotions can be. This is water energy and water signs can only stop feeling when they erase something from their mind.
🌁Of all the earthly signs, it seems to me that Capricorn is the sign that knows what a hard life is and sees the cruelty of it. I think they will understand you best when it comes to such things. But I would say that cap and taurus are similar in that they both want to be strong. Neither of them wants to appear weak. Taurus are quite emotionally stubborn - sometimes it's hard to know what they feel because they don't show it outwardly.
🎆Pluto in 6th house- You may feel as if someone is always on top of you or controlling you. You have to achieve your strength through your work, routine and things that bring you happiness. Pluto in 7th house- many people can betray you. You may feel that the relationships you have are never completely honest. In this life, you are looking for someone you can trust without holding back.
🏡Having placements in 4th house can make you a person who worries too much about what others think. Especially when it comes to your home or family. You always want everything to be tidy and beautiful. You don't like to talk to others about family or anything.
👄8th house synastry can make you a person who has a lot of reservations about a person. You feel like you doubt a lot or have trouble trusting this person. But you can have a very intense relationship with this person, you feel as if the emotions are coming but you don't know where. A person can have feelings for you and hide them. This is actually very tricky synastry because both people can hide their true feelings, desires, needs and jealousy. And then they can have a wrong idea about each other.
-Rebekah🧸💕🦋
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you were never mine
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summary: you absolutely hated your coostar. a fake relationship was something you never expected. now that it's begun you have no idea where it will take you.
a/n: a very quick intro to a new story!! had to write it while i was motivated lol
you hated jack champion.
and not in a teasing friendship way. there was such a burning hatred for everything he did. of course, you couldn't explain it, it was just a feeling. a feeling you couldn't set aside and ignore.
ever since filming began you had made it a point to stay out of his line. unfortunately for you, your characters were slow developing love interests. you just had to remind yourself that this was nothing more than your job, a task you had to complete.
so while your character was in love with ethan landry, you hated jack champion.
as filming was coming to a slow end, the whole crew was preparing goodbyes. of course you still had the press tour left, but it was bittersweet to be leaving the set that had become home.
packing up your things from your trailer, your set assistant called you in to talk to some PR people. you thought nothing of it, half expecting to go over interview schedules and premieres. that thought was hurled out the window when you saw an all too familiar curly headed boy sitting in the next open seat. saying a silent prayer you plop down onto the seat next to him.
"y/l/n"
"champion"
no gaze exchanged, the usual uncomfortable tension arose.
"so we called you guys in today to go over some marketing moves we have planned." says the PR manager.
"as we all know, your characters are love interests which we think the fans are absolutely going to love. what we think they'll love even more is if their onscreen favorites were offscreen lovers." they explain.
you and jack sit there, no words, no glances, no expressions.
"what this means is that you two will make a couple public experiences. y'know the usual pda, hand holding, hugging, longing stares. which let me tell you, you two look absolutely ecstatic to do!" they laugh, trying to somewhat cut the tension.
as their words finally hit you, you and jack turn to each other.
"there's no way i'm doing that with him!"
"there's no way i'm doing that with her!"
"look i know this isn't an ideal situation for either of you. but we all believe this would really help sell your characters and create a buzz for this movie. just put it this way, complete this one last task, and you never have to see each other again. ever." they finish.
silently muttering agreements, the two of you exit the office ready to part ways. you can already feel anger boiling over so you try to leave as fast as possible.
"$20 bucks says you'll fall in love with me" jack teases leaning against the wall.
"in your dreams champion." you reply feeling pure annoyance.
"don't be too sure of yourself" he replies, just inches from your face.
pulling away, he walks away laughing.
your left to huff in annoyance and go back to packing up your trailer.
-
finishing up for the day you begin gathering your things. closing the door behind you, you shriek slamming into something. pulling away, its non other than your least favorite person. ever.
"jesus, champion what's your deal" you ask, catching your breath.
"the PR manager said i have to start getting to know you." he huffs.
"oh my god" you reply, tilting your head back.
"look i don't want to do any of this just as much as you do but god can you please make this process slightly more bearable." he asks.
you stand there pondering for a moment.
"no thank you!" you reply, cheerfully walking away.
"y/n!! cmon lets just get this over with." he pleads, pulling you towards his car.
"fine fine!! jeez"
getting into the seat of his car, jack starts the engine.
"hello?? its locked!!" you slightly yell.
"oh. is it really??" he questions.
"this was your idea please just open the door"
"just cause it was my idea doesn't mean i don't get to have a little fun" he smirks.
finally opening the door, you buckle yourself in. finding a pack of cds on the floor you start flipping through it.
"who even still uses cds" you question.
"i do. be careful with those." his mood instantly turning annoyed again.
"you have shitty music taste" you comment.
"and you're just shitty" he replies.
simply rolling your eyes at the comment you finally find a cd you like. popping it into the car you immediately skip to your favorite song on the album. head over heels by tears for fears slowly starts playing.
"i hate this song"
"yeah well it's your cd"
turning to the window, you start mouthing the lyrics to the song. jack starts tapping the beat against the steering wheel. a slight smile spreading on both your faces.
in an environment of pure hatred, something else was growing.
a/n: quick blurb of a beginning of a story :) requests are open!
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some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!
thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, I’ll be more than happy to share my thoughts~
status: unedited
word count: 1.4k (damn that’s the most I’ve written in a hot minute)
warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man I’m sleepy
wrote this instead of studying for my physics final exam😋
🩵Aged Up Kenma Headcannons🩵~
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Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but he’s also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, I’d say that he really doesn’t change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean that’s kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. That’s not to say he isn’t introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.
This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.
But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldn’t be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But that’s way later on in the relationship.
Once he’s comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year “reacting to fucked up shit with my girl” type beat.
And since we’re on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<
Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.
”shit baby you good?” he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, “c’mere baby,” and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, “gimme ten more minutes to finish this and we’ll order some takeout k?”. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)
I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of y’all doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man 😭)
ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, it’s the hill I’m willing to die on.)
If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like he’d be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like I’d be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.
Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and I’m to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, it’s hot af)
aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a “he’s an ass but I love him.” Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, “I have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, you’re not taken them off now~” or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, he’d be like, “ damn someone’s neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?” Like bro stfu I’m just tryna cuddle. Either that or he’d call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.
Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. He’s the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? “Yes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~” *gags while writing this* You’re yelling at him for some stupid thing, “I sorry my sugar booger~.”
Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)
Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, he’s a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? C’mere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything it’s that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?🙏 )
The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, “I forgot my umbrella at work… yeah I’m soaked,” and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting “that’s what she said,” not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. It’s always so easy to talk with him, unless it’s about his problems, but we ain’t gon talk about that rn, I’m feeling too fluffy.
There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5’4. And Kenma is only 5’6. Chances are, he’s not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry 😋
Tbh I don’t see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while y’all smoking pot or something, being like “yo wanna get married?” He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So y’all just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.
in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope y’all enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love y’all bastards, Thots and Enby Hots🩵
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stevesoli · 1 year
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Okay okay I like how we all agree that Steve would like the Indians Jones movies and it’s widely accepted that he has a crush on Harrison Ford. And I agree, I love that troupe and I think it’s accurate.
But hear me out. Harrison Ford is, aesthetic wise at least, wayyy more like Steve than Eddie. And even though Steve would find him objectively attractive I don’t think it would be to the point that he would have a CRISIS over that and have Harrison Ford be his #1 celeb crush. He’s not Steve’s type, anyways.
But Eddie is a different story. Harrison Ford is EXACTLY his type. Preppy jock type who has a tendency to be bad at keeping his shirt on. And have you guys seen The Temple of Doom? All the pet names Ford uses??? Eddie would die.
And Steve would pick up on this when they watched the movie. He would see Eddie’s reaction when Ford dropped a “sweetheart” or a “princess.” Even though those are names Eddie typically reserves for Steve (especially princess. Also, now Steve knows where he gets his petnames from. He would make fun of him if they didn’t get Steve so hot under the collar).
But give me Steve dropping some of them randomly in conversation. Give me Steve going,
“Hey, sweetheart, where did you put my shirt?”
And Eddie just. Completely losing his mind. Bright red, overheating, can’t speak, hiding his face in his hands. All because of a celebrity crush.
Give me Steve seeing how far he can go with it. Like one night they’re making out, and it’s getting heated, and Steve goes to unbutton Eddie’s jeans and says,
“Just relax, princess. Let me do the work tonight.”
Eddie creams his pants right then and there and he’s so embarrassed that he curls into Steve’s chest and doesn’t speak to him for the next twenty minutes. Steve is just delighted that he’s exactly Eddie’s ideal type. I mean, the proof is in the pudding.
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seiya-starsniper · 6 months
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hello hello i see you're open to prompts 👀
how about #20"I'm just going to lie right here" for dreamling (or any ship you prefer 👀)
happy writing, my dear 💜✨️
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HEY SO REMEMBER THIS PROMPT YOU SENT ME FIVE MONTHS AGO??? Apparently it took me getting another prompt to finally come up with an idea for it, so I've gone and combined the two 😄💖 Gentle Prompts Here and Soft Prompts Here (I'll still accept prompts from both because I am a fluff machine)
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Hob knows something is wrong as soon as his roommate enters their shared apartment and slams the door behind him.
“Morph? You all right?” Hob calls out, pausing his movie and turning to the entryway where Morpheus is angrily pulling off his shoes and shoving his coat onto the hooks. He also practically slams his keys down into the tray on the side table by the door, and Hob winces at the loud clang that echoes through the apartment. He considers asking Morpheus again if he’s all right, but decides to let his moody roommate come to him instead. 
Something is definitely very wrong if his roommate is making this much noise. Morpheus Endless is normally so quiet of a roommate that Hob doesn’t always notice when the other man is even in the apartment at the same time as him. Morpheus was so silent and unassuming that Hob had felt like he was being haunted by a ghost rather than living with a real person the first few months they started living together. Hob would be jump-scared in his own kitchen simply by turning around and finding Morpheus there right behind him. He had no idea another person could walk so quietly. The worst time had been in the bathroom, when Hob had accidentally squirted half a tube of toothpaste all over the other man’s black shirt. From that point forward, Morpheus had started knocking along the walls wherever he walked, so that Hob would know where he was at any given moment.
Still, the pale man was an ideal roommate otherwise, if not a little socially awkward at times. On top of his eerily quiet nature, it had taken months for Hob to get Morpheus to even say more than five words to him whenever they were in the same room together. Hob had first thought Morpheus was just disinterested in being friendly all together, but then one night, like a cat, his roommate peeked his head out of his room to the smell of Hob cooking dinner. Hob has since learned to let Morpheus come to him, instead of trying to impress on the man himself.
Hob’s efforts seem to now be paying off, for instead of stomping off to his bedroom to sulk about whatever it is, Morpheus instead makes his way over to the couch and plants himself directly in front of Hob’s line of vision. Hob tries to give his best reassuring smile as he stares up at the pale man.
“Bad day?” Hob asks gently. “I’m happy to listen, if you’d like. Looks like you could use a hug too.”
Morpheus doesn’t answer, he simply sways somewhat unsteadily for a few moments, before he practically collapses onto the couch. The only problem is, Hob is still very much sitting on said couch, and instead of aiming for the empty spot next to him, Hob instead finds himself with an armful of gangly limbs and untamed hair. 
“Oof,” Hob grunts as he takes on the unexpected weight. Hug it is, then. Morpheus isn’t heavy by any means, but it still takes a moment for Hob to adjust to having what is effectively an oversized cat suddenly in his lap. Hob eventually manages to wiggle his arms out from under Morpheus, before wrapping them around the pale man and pulling him against his chest. Morpheus immediately takes the cue and buries his face in Hob’s shoulder, shaking like a leaf and failing to keep his breathing even.
“Hey, hey, you’re okay, it’s all right,” Hob soothes, rubbing at Morpheus’s back. His roommate is freezing from the cold weather outside, but he’s quickly warming up the longer Hob holds him.
Hob doesn’t know what it is that’s upset Morpheus so much, but whatever it is, he’s glad that his roommate isn’t trying to deal with it alone, that they’ve come far enough in their friendship (though Morpheus has yet to call him a friend at this point) for him to show Hob this vulnerable side of him. 
The only downside to this is that this newfound vulnerability is doing absolutely nothing to help Hob’s teeny tiny, absolutely miniscule crush on his roommate. But that’s neither here nor there. Hob tucks the yearning feelings that arise from their newfound intimacy quietly behind his ribs and focuses all his energy into comforting Morpheus instead. 
“Do you…want to talk about it?” Hob asks Morpheus. 
A soft inhale. Then a shake of the head against his shoulder. The motion alerts Hob to the fact that his shoulder is damp, and the realization makes his heart lurch up into his throat. He wants to go out and find whoever or whatever it is that’s upset Morpheus so much and give them an introduction to his fists.
“Okay…” Hob continues, taking a deep breath and trying to calm himself down. He’s here for comfort, not to be a white knight. “That’s fine, we don’t need to get into it. Uhm…can I readjust though? This position’s a bit uncomfortable.”
There’s a short pause, and then eventually, Hob feels Morpheus nod against his shoulder.  
Moving Morpheus is a fairly easy task. If Hob didn’t know any better, he’d think his roommate had been replaced by some sort of mannequin from the way he lets Hob manhandle him so easily. He seems to be mostly aware of what’s happening, which is good, but it’s clear he’s no in any sort of headspace for conversation just yet.
Eventually, Hob is able to rearrange them so that he’s lying with his back resting on the arm of the couch, and Morpheus is sprawled on top of him. Their legs are tangled together and Hob’s also thrown the large throw blanket over them for good measure. Morpheus, of course, reburies his head in Hob’s shoulder, and Hob takes the opportunity to wrap his arms around his roommate’s shoulders once more, rubbing soothing circle’s into the other man’s back.
“See, that’s better now, isn’t it?” Hob asks gently. “Nothing beats a good hug and a cuddle on the couch when you’ve had a bad day.”
Morpheus hums, but otherwise doesn’t offer any other sort of verbal reply. It’s a start.
“You can stay as long as you like,” Hob adds. “I’m just going to lay right here until you decide you want to move.”
“Then you’ll be here until tomorrow,” Morpheus croaks, his voice clearly cracked from crying.
Hob laughs and moves his hand up from Morpheus’s back to ruffle the man’s messy black hair. Morpheus groans in annoyance and bats his hand away, but otherwise does not move from his chin perch on Hob’s shoulder. Somehow, Morpheus's hair looks exactly the same.
“There you are,” Hob says, his voice fond. “Was starting to worry you’d gone mute on me.”
“No,” Morpheus says. “...I still don’t want to talk about it.”
“That’s fine,” Hob replies, then adds, “and we can stay here until tomorrow, really, if you like. But I will need to pee at some point.”
Morpheus huffs. “I suppose that is acceptable.”
“Can I tempt you with some food too?” Hob asks. “I’ll even feed it to you if you’d like.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Morpheus replies. “I can feed myself.”
“All right,” Hob says, shrugging and shifting himself into a more comfortable lying position. “Need anything else? Want to take a nap?”
Morpheus doesn’t answer for some time, and Hob almost thinks the man fell asleep on him already, but then his roommate readjusts his limbs as well and moves his body downwards until his head is resting on Hob’s chest. Hob wants to cry at how adorable he looks, at how right it feels that their bodies fit together so perfectly, like they were made for each other. 
“A nap sounds nice,” Morpheus finally replies, mumbling quietly into Hob’s chest. “And perhaps food when we wake up.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Hob agrees. He already knows he’s going to be ordering take-out for tonight, but come tomorrow, he’s going to make all of Morpheus’s favorite foods for the rest of his week. For the rest of his life, if he’d let him.
It doesn’t take terribly long for Morpheus to fall asleep on him, and Hob resists the urge to plant a kiss in the man’s hair, settling instead for gently rubbing at Morpheus’s back. Hob falls asleep not too long after his roommate, and when he dreams, he dreams of a home filled with warmth and joy and love.
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julien baker fluff abcs
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hey everyone!!! here is the fluff abcs i promised!!! i hope you all enjoy it!! <333
A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)
Everything about you, I think she would worship the ground you walk on. But I think she especially adores your personality.
B = Beauty (what do they find most beautiful about you?)
I think Julien would find your eyes and voice the most beautiful. No matter what color your eyes are I could see her staring in and just getting lost in your irises. When I say voice, I don’t mean singing, I mean your everyday speaking voice, the quirk in your accent (no matter where you’re from) and especially your laugh, she loves your laugh.
C = Call (how often does she call/text?)
I feel like Julien doesn’t go on her phone much, except when she is communicating with you. I could see her sending you videos of what she’s working on in the studio, or if she is away she would definitely call you at night, do that thing where you fall asleep on facetime with one another. I think she’d like to check up on you a lot so lots of updates and check-ins.
D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)
Honestly I could see Julien liking just staying in and ordering takeout and watching some movie, or going out to a fancy restaurant. Omg!!! Picnic dates too!!! 
E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)
I think it might take Julien a while to be super open and express her emotions around you, but once she feels safe she expresses all types of emotion around you. 
F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)
I think she would want one, but not for a while. She’s good with sticking to a couple dogs and maybe a cat.
G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)
I think she definitely will get you gifts if she's on tour and sees something she knows you’d love. I think she’d be the type to hand make you gifts or buy you flowers “just ‘cause”. 
H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)
I imagine Julien loves to hold your hand. Whenever you two are standing next to each other she’ll have your hand in hers or she has an arm around your waist. 
I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)
I think she would panic no matter how you got hurt, like if you got a papercut she’d drop everything to see if you were okay.
J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)
I think Julien would joke sometimes, but I don’t really think she would prank you. 
K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)
She would kiss you gently, both hands holding your face, or you’d be hand in hand. I think that she would make each kiss special, but also while making you want more.
L = Love (how do they show you they love you/love languages?)
Physical touch and quality time for sure!!! Like I said earlier she’d hold your hand whenever she could. Love just spending time together, even if the focus isn’t on eachother, maybe like sitting on the couch each of you reading a separate book, but you’re both there and close and that's what matters!!!
M = Memory (favorite memory together?)
I imagine y’all did one of those 5 minute painting swaps and you both had a lot of fun creating art to hang up in your shared homes!! I can kinda see that date ending up with paint everywhere and a lot of giggles.
N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)
I think Julien’s worst fear would be losing you. To her you’re the light of her life and she wouldn’t know what to do if she lost you.
O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)
I feel like she would sleep with socks on… 
P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)
OMGGG!!! Definitely the basic ones like baby, love, honey, but maybe more specific ones based on your personality or certain attributes, like if you have a lot of piercings she’d call you punk. I can also for some reason see her calling her lover like berry. I could see her calling you her “heart” as well.
Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)
Anytime spent with you if time spent well. I think she loves having late night conversations while the TV plays a movie y’all have seen a bunch of times, or reading to each other!!! Like you’d have a little book club just between yourselves where you read together and then talk about the book!!! That would be so cute!!!
R = Rhythm (has she written any songs about you?)
FOR SURE!!!! OMG!!! Every since she met you she finds it hard to write a song about anything other than you… (the album she's currently working on is def a bunch of love songs all dedicated to you)
S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)
Completely, she tells you everything, and you listen to every word she says (and vice versa)!!!
T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)
In true lesbian fashion, not very long. I’m thinking y’all were friends for a while before you started to date. But it was only like 2 dates before she asked you to be her girlfriend.
U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)
I think she does whatever you need at the moment. Need time to yourself to cool off? Done, she’ll take the dogs out for a quick walk. Need a hug because of a bad day? You’re already in her arms.
V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)
I think Julien takes any chance to show you off. “Oh this is my girlfriend… aren’t they stunning?” Or if you’re a musician or artist I think she'll post about your art/music. 
W = Wild Card (random!!)
I think that she wouldn't post much about you, and only because she wants to keep her relationship private. But I do think she would have a private instagram account with only her friends on it and she would post a lot more about you there. 
X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)
I think Julien would be able to read you really well, especially once you have been together a while. I think she might even know how you're feeling before you even know how you're feeling!!
Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)
Either very romantic and extravagant, like she’d take you on a little trip, nice dinner. Or it would be like, a lazy Sunday morning where you two sleep in and your in the kitchen making breakfast and talking about going to a farmers market for some fruit and all the sudden she just blurts out “marry me”. She's just so in love with you she can’t wait any longer.
Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)
I think she would feel the most calm in your presence, just by being in the same room as you!!
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daceydeath · 1 year
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The Next Step
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Pairing: Seungmin x Reader Word Count: 1.3k Genre: Fluff, Smut 🔞, slice of life Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, swearing, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, unprotected sex (don't try this at home) Requested
You and your wonderful boyfriend Seungmin had been together for a while but what was the next step in your relationship?
It had started out as a cute little "family" dinner with his members all sitting around the lounge area eating pizza, drinking and talking about recording the new album, what dramas and movies they had been watching and in jokes that just never seemed to die. It was nice to see them all so comfortable and relaxed they had been away from each other for the past week visiting their own family and enjoying there time off so it was enjoyable to you.
"Alright before this gets too messy" Seungmin announced putting his drink down on the table and searching his pockets "I have something I want to share". You looked at him curiously wondering what on earth he was talking about and why Chan and Lee Know who looked suspiciously starry eyed.
"So you all know how shit sneaking the girls in here is and how annoying it is to figure out who needs to be out when so I have partially solved the problem" He announced to applause from Chan and continued quizzical glances from the others as he pulled a key ring with a Pompompurin handing from it out and held his hand out to you. Slowly reaching out you opened your palm and let him drop the 'gift' into your hand, it was a shiny key that did nothing to dissipate your confusion.
"It's a key babe" you blinked still trying to figure out what that mean.
"Holy shit you're moving in with us?" Jeongin squeaked
"No dumbass" Seungmin rolled his eyes.
"I don't get it" Hyunjin whisper shouted looking to Han and Changbin who just shrugged
"Bunny, move in with me? I got an apartment for us on the next floor" Seungmin smiled widely his eyes bright with hope and love as you threw your arms around him nodding.
"Aww cute" Chan giggled.
"You're leaving us?" Felix gasped.
"When are you getting married?" Changbin hollered.
"I am totally the maid of honor" Han demanded.
"Love you bunny" Seungmin whispered into your hair.
"I love you more" you murmured back kissing him sweetly despite the yelling that would inevitably follow.
That had been a week ago and now you were sitting on the floor of the apartment, the new apartment, no Seungmin and your new apartment. Surrounded by boxes you sat exhausted from moving everything up from the garage even with the help of his 3 gym bro hyungs it had been a lot of work for you. Seungmin had offered to put the bed together while you started sorting out the basics for the kitchen, plates, cups, cutlery and the most important part of the kitchen the coffee machine.
"Bun? Do you know where we packed the sheets?" Seungmin called interrupting you laying on the lounge room floor trying to figure out exactly how you both had so much stuff.
"Box named linen babe" You called back looking up at the ceiling.
"Oh right" he chuckled and you could hear him making up the bed as your eyes drifted closed the whole ideal of having Seungmin to yourself even if it was just for a few hours in his busy periods everyday was a dream for you "You ok my sleepy little bunny?" you heard him smiled as his fingers brushed through your hair.
"I'm fine" you sighed happily "I'm tired but this seems to good to be true".
"What does? us living here together?" he murmured his hand grasping yours to help you up.
"Yeah, I knew one day you would want to move in together, maybe talk about serious things like marriage or babies, but I didn't think you would want this while you were still touring and performing" you admitted your eyes meeting his beautiful deep umber eyes.
"Come here bunny, let me show you how serious I am about sharing my life with you" he led you from the box filled lounge into the doorway of your sparsely furnished shared bedroom. "I'm going to wake up beside you in that bed right there from now on, I want you beside me always bunny" he whispered his voice coming out huskier than normal while his breath on your neck made you shiver in his hold.
"Seung" you breathed closing your eyes again as his lips descended onto you neck kissing your feather lightly while his arms wrapped around you pressing you against his chest.
"Hmm?" he teased humming into your skin "Should I keep showing you how serious I am?".
"Yes please" you gasped as he playfully nipped your neck his fingers creeping under your shirt to caress your bare skin making a small puff of air fall from your lips. Continuing his teasing one of his hands moved to cup your breast softly squeezing your flesh his fingers pulling the cup down to roll your already hard nipple between his fingers. His other hand traveled down your body sliding into your sweatpants to cup your core with his large hand, the warmth of it making you bite your lips as he slowly continued his teasing of your tits.
"More?" he smirked making you nod rapidly and feeling you lean heavier on his chest "anything for you bun" he smiled against your ear pulling his hands from your body to pull your shirt over your hear and unclasp your bra. Scooping you up he lowered your body to sit on the edge of the bed, easily kneeling between your legs and hell pulled both your sweatpants and underwear away with one strong tug. Now bare and exposed with his body keeping your legs spread he lazily rang one finger through your slit collecting your dripping essence while you whimpered at his touch.
"You are so wet for me already bun" he groaned before crashing his lips into yours for a passionate but messy kiss "You going to let me eat your perfect pussy bun?"
"Please Seung touch me" you whimpered again while he hooked your legs over this shoulders and licked the first fat stripe up your slit making you fall back against the mattress as his tongue circled around your clit and then back to your entrance lapping up every drop of arousal from between your thighs. His fast kitten licks to your clit and his long fingers circling your entrance before sliding one inside you to stretch your walls was making you dizzy groans and gasps of pleasure falling from your lips.
"You taste so sweet and all for me" he mumbled against your wet skin as you arched off the bed panting sucking on your clit harshly he moved his fingers you brush against the spot that makes your eyes roll back in your head until you came hard on his fingers and tongue. Not giving you time to come down from your high he pushed you further onto the bed pulling the sweatpants he was wearing enough to let his throbbing length spring free and sheathing himself into you cursing as he bottomed out inside your still convulsing walls.
"Let me hear you bun, there is no one else here" he grunted thrusting into you deeply and making you whine, his hips smacked against your spread thighs as he loomed over you his hooded eyes blown out with lust as you finally started making the noises he wanted.
"Seung, oh shit, right there" you mewled as he hit that spot deep inside you again and again "Fuck Seungmin"
"God you make the prettiest noises bun" he groaned as he felt you tightening around him as you reached your next climax.
"Seungmin" you wailed as your vision went white momentarily as intense pleasure flooded your body, your walls squeezing him and making him spill his seed inside you and he fucked you through your high.
"You are fucking perfect bun" he panted slipping himself from your sensitive core and pulling you into his arms.
"I love you Seung" you murmured against his chest wrapped tightly in his arms.
"I love you too, thank you for letting us start this part of our lives" he sighed happily pulling the blankets around you and placing a soft kiss to your nose.
a/n: Thank you for reading you guys are just the greatest, all comments, reblogs and likes just blow my mind because you are all far too kind to me xx
Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @bakedlilgoonie, @krishastumblernow,
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“Your sister found me because she was ready.”
Kara frowns. “Ready for what?”
“For the truth.” Lena replies simply. “To wake up and leave the lie behind.”
“The lie?” Lena’s words bring back echoes of Alex’s message. The Matrix still has you… You’ll find me, if you’re ready to wake up. “You mean… the Matrix?”
“Yes.”
Kara leans forward, her attention caught. “What is the Matrix?”
Lena sighs, her eyes clouding over. “I’m afraid no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. Right now, all I can tell you is that the Matrix is everywhere. It’s all around us. It’s in the air we breathe, in everything we touch…”
Lena ventures a hand between them to touch Kara’s, their hands connecting in the slightest. And even though she knows that she’s not really touching Kara’s hand, her mind feeds her the sensations of it — the softness of Kara’s skin, the gentle press of her flesh under Lena’s fingers.
Lena draws her hand away, and Kara follows it avidly with her eyes. “For you to know what the Matrix is, I have to go back to the beginning. Or at least, to where it begins for us.”
Or, the Supercorp Matrix AU
[So I found an old Matrix AU from a different fandom while I was rooting through my drive, and I thought it could be retooled into a Supercorp AU. Little did I know what I was inviting into my brain, but here we are suffering the consequences. (And now I have 2 different supercorp Matrix AUs. Great.) Spoilers ahead for the OG trilogy.]
In the movies, Neo is the One, but there are other Potentials. Each Potential displays extraordinary abilities beyond the standards of normal. Kara and Lena are both Potentials. Either one of them could be the One.
It begins in the Matrix, when Lena gets adopted by the Luthors as a little girl.
The Luthors are a picture-perfect family. Powerful, affluent, and respected. The father, the mother and the golden son. And Lena - smart, angelic and pretty, the perfect daughter - is the ideal addition to make their picturesque family complete.
Except when she's about 4 or so, it becomes apparent that Lena is not like other children.
It's immediately clear that her intellect far surpasses people four, five times her age. Lena is sharp and brilliant, able to grasp complex concepts most adults cannot. She seems to see the world around her in a different way.
The Luthors are no strangers to gifted children, their son Lex was deemed a prodigy at around the same age. At first, Lionel and Lillian take this as yet another proof of how exceptional Luthors are, and Lena is proudly displayed as their indigo child.
But Lena's talent develops as fast as she does.
Soon, she begins to exhibit strange, unexplained abilities. An expensive Waterford crystal goblet in Lionel's hand explodes when Lena has a tantrum. Once, Lillian walks into her playroom to find Lena having tea with her dolls, and when Lillian enters, all heads turn to her. Lena's and all four of her Madame Alexander dolls.
Her intellect begins to surpass what defines “normal” intelligence. She predicts and successfully foils an assassination attempt against Lionel. She prevents Lex from getting hit by a driver in a car chase five blocks away.
The last straw comes when Lena finds out that the cleaning lady's five year old son has cancer.
Lena convinces Alma to take her to see him. Five hours later, a tearful Alma brings the little girl back with something akin to wonder in her eyes. "Your little girl is an angel, Mr. Luthor. Bendecida por la Virgen. She cured my Carlos! She took away his sickness! Ella es un milagro de Dios!”
However, far from seeing it as a miracle, the Luthors circle the wagons. The next day, Lena finds out Alma has been dismissed, and a shift occurs in the Luthor household.
When Lena's abilities were within the parameters of "normal", they were good, something to be proud of. But now that her gifts have proven to be beyond that, they become alien, freakish. Something to be hidden. People would be asking too many questions, and Luthors do not permit those.
Suddenly, instead of being lauded for what she is able to do, Lena is now scrutinized and examined to find out what's "wrong" with her. It begins to strain the family that is obsessed with order and perfection.
They take Lena to various doctors and put her through all sorts of tests, but none of them seem able to find an explanation for Lena’s strange abilities.
Until they meet Rhea, an educator who runs an exclusive facility for “gifted” children.
An elegant and well-spoken woman, Rhea seems fascinated by Lena. Her teaching “methods” seem vague, but out of all the specialists Lena has seen so far, she is the only one who seems to understand and make a connection with her. At the very least, they seem to speak the same language. Rhea knows about this Matrix Lena has been talking about.
Rhea asks Lena if she wants to find out what the Matrix truly is. And when Lena agrees, Rhea takes the little girl to the Oracle to confirm her suspicions that she is a Potential.
Lena is taken to a tall building, riding all the way to the top floor with her little hand in Rhea’s. On the 64th floor, they enter a glass office in which an imperious looking blond woman sits, watching her with a piercing eye.
“Leave us.”
The woman orders sharply, slanting a glare at Rhea. She is at least 6 inches shorter than Rhea, even in heels, but her tone and her face brook no argument. Rhea retreats with a seething sneer, but she complies.
“Now, you,” the woman turns to Lena with a dark look and a raised brow. It fails to intimidate Lena, who has lived with Lillian Luthor’s pointed glares for the past three years of her life. “Do you know why you’re here?”
Lena merely blinks at her. “Because I know things.”
The woman scoffs. “So do I. Doesn’t make you special.” She gestures around her at her office with a spectacular view. “I know things too.”
Lena’s eyebrows rise as well. “Not everything.”
The woman’s glare intensifies, but Lena stares her down. After a moment, a corner of the woman’s mouth lifts, and she barks out a laugh. “You’re a smart one, aren’t you?”
Lena clasps her hands behind her back. “So I’ve been told.”
“Do you know who I am?”
Lena nods. “You’re the Oracle.”
The woman snorts delicately. “Did Rhea tell you that?”
Lena regards her solemnly. “She didn’t have to.”
The woman’s eyes narrow at her, but Lena says nothing more. She is scrutinized for another moment before the woman smirks. “Alright. Since you’re so smart, why don’t you tell me what you already know.”
Lena blinks at her, responding to the woman’s scrutinizing gaze in kind. “I know that you’re not human.”
Another laugh, this time louder. Piercing blue eyes gain a twinkle of mirth. “Very good. What else?”
“I know that you’re not real.”
The woman scoffs disdainfully. “Real is an abstract concept.”
“I know that I’m dreaming, and none of this is real.”
The mirth suddenly vanishes from the woman’s gaze, and her blue eyes stare at Lena intently. “What do you mean?”
Lena sweeps her little arms across the room. “This. All of this. Everything. It’s not real. It’s just a dream.”
The woman is leaning forward now. It looks to Lena as if she is holding her breath. “And what makes you think that?”
Lena chews thoughtfully on her lower lip. “Have you ever read Plato’s allegory of the cave?”
The woman’s eyebrows rise and an amused smile dances over her lips. “Of course.”
“It feels like that. Like the people chained to the walls of the cave, watching just shadows and reflections. Other people — even my parents, even Lex — they look around them and think that this is the real thing. But all we’re seeing are just shadows. Sometimes it makes me feel confused and blurry, like I’m dreaming, but I can’t wake up.”
The woman hums and her hands form a steeple under her chin as she continues to observe Lena.
"In the story, the prisoner who is freed into the sunlight was angry and in great pain after being in the dark for so long. Why would they go through that? Why not stay in the comfort of the darkness that they’ve known all their lives?”
Lena’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Because they would finally know the truth. They wouldn’t be living in a lie anymore. They would be free.”
A smile spreads across the woman’s face, and the nod she gives is almost approving. “Is that what you want?”
“Only if you tell me the truth.” Lena nods solemnly. “Will you tell me the truth, Oracle?”
“I’ll tell you everything you need to know.” The woman chuckles. “And one more thing. Call me Cat.”
Despite their animosity toward each other, both Cat and Rhea decide that Lena is more than ready for extraction.
The only problem is that Lena, at 6 years old, is one of the youngest children to be extracted so far. Because she’s so young, it’s decided that her family should be brought with her too. Lex, by then a teenager, is given a choice: to stay in the Matrix, or go down the rabbit hole, as it were.
Lex chooses to follow his family, and the Luthors are extracted by Rhea. They are brought on-board her ship, the Daxam. All four Luthors are taken to Zion, and told the truth about everything — the lie of the Matrix, the human harvest fields, and the fact that there is no going back.
That’s when it all goes to hell.
Lionel barely lasts three months.
Unable to accept the truth that his life of power and control was all a lie, and unwilling to believe that he now exists in a world where his name holds no weight, he somehow escapes Zion and finds his way to a human pod to try to inject himself back into the Matrix.
They search for him for weeks, and eventually they find him in the pod, impaled on the metal breathing hose stuffed into his mouth with the end sticking out the back of his head.
Lillian lasts longer, but this is no comfort.
Torn from her privileged life, her resentment begins to build and build, as she’s forced to accept her new reality.
Her perfect life was stolen from her. The high-paying job, the distinguished career, the unlimited influence, the beautiful house, the comfortable lifestyle — all gone. All apparently just a dream.
And now, Lillian has woken up to the dirt and drab and heat and toil of Zion’s underground, with nothing to show for her former life but the daughter she didn’t even ask for. The same daughter who is the very reason she’s trapped here now with no chance of going back.
She refuses to reconcile with her new reality, but she is no weakling like her husband. Instead, she lets the ugly, bitter ire fester inside her over the years, until it finally comes out.
One night, Lillian enters the rough, tiny cave that has become her unwilling home, creeps into the alcove carved into rock where her teenaged daughter sleeps and pours acid over her.
Lena’s screams wake others in the neighboring dwelling, and healers are immediately dispatched to tend to her wounds. Thankfully, Lena was turned away in her sleep, and the burns were limited to her back.
By the time her condition is pronounced stable, Lillian is gone.
Without her parents, Lena is taken in by Rhea to live with her, her husband Lar Gand and their infant son, Mon-El.
Rhea keeps Lena very close, almost jealously so. She prizes the young girl above all else in their household. Most of her time is devoted to teaching Lena, training her using the fight simulations and programs on the Daxam, instructing her on how to pilot the ship.
For Lena — who had grown up under Lillian’s growing resentment and bitterness, who had just survived a horrific attack on her by her own mother — Rhea is a godsend. Under Rhea’s maternal affection, Lena thrives. She pushes her own limits during her training, masters techniques with unparalleled speed and unerring accuracy, devours knowledge programs downloaded into her mind every time she’s plugged in. She blooms under Rhea’s freely-given praise, and works harder, starved as she was for acknowledgment and affection over the years.
As Rhea’s son, young Mon-El, grows up without displaying any unique abilities, he is often shunted to the side. Despite their age-difference, Lena makes a conscious effort to spend time with him, to give him the same nurturing Rhea is giving her.
She teaches Mon-El how to make repairs to the ship, explains how the thrusters work, how the pads keep the ship in balance. He’s most fascinated by the robotic armed exoskeletons that are kept at the dock for the city’s defense. He often asks Lena to take him to the bridge to watch them, and the two of them watch the exoskeletons being loaded, Lena leaning on the top rail, and Mon-El perched on the middle one, his skinny legs swinging in the air. As Lena smiles, the young boy boldly tells her that one day, he’ll pilot one of those.
It feels… nice. Almost like having a brother again. It feels like a second chance
After all, her own brother — well, that bridge was burned a long time ago, and Lena tries not to think about it.
But it’s hard to forget when she sees him all time, a nightmare come to life, whenever she’s plugged into the Matrix.
Lena will never forget the first time she saw her brother there.
Lex had abandoned them, had left his mother and sister in Zion years ago, as soon as he was of age. She’d tried to find him, had spent weeks, months, looking for him, to no avail.
Finally, Lena had been forced to accept that Lex had met their father’s fate. He could’ve been attacked by sentinels, gotten lost in the mechanical sewers, or worse, attempted the same thing Lionel had.
Either way, the result was the same, and the guilt and pain of it had been agony, but Lena had accepted it.
Until the day she met the Agent.
Most agents were already nigh indestructible, with their speed and brute strength, not to mention the internal communication they kept with each other through the program.
But this one… this one stayed on Lena’s tail with a dogged, malicious ferocity that she couldn’t shake off. It had been dangerously close several times already as he chased her throughout the dark, rain-soaked city streets. She couldn’t get a good lock on him, and it was all she could do to follow Jack’s instructions to the nearest extraction point.
Lena’s almost there, sliding into the booth, hand outstretched to grab the phone — when she sees it.
The Agent wearing her brother’s face, a feral smile stretching his lips as his fingertips brush the corner of her dark coat. The grin turns into a snarl as Lena lifts the phone to her ear, and he misses her by a millimeter.
It had been only a second, but… it was Lex.
Lena was sure of it. So sure that she had spent months hacking into the system with Brainy’s help, trying to find out what the hell was going on.
It takes six months of hacking into the mainframe to discover the truth. Lex had succeeded where their father had not. The son had surpassed the father.
Not only had Lex somehow managed to get himself reinserted into the Matrix, the anomaly of his presence in the code had also caused a glitch in the system itself.
It takes another encounter with Lex — in his new regalia of a generic black suit, bland tie and FBI-issued sunglasses — sneering at her as he points a gun at her head, to realize yet another knife-wound truth.
Her brother has become a virus in the Matrix.
________
Kara’s experience in the Matrix could not have been more different from Lena’s.
More than a decade before Lena was born, Kara Zorel was like any normal thirteen year old girl. She went to school, hung out with her friends, had a crush on the boy living next door. She got straight A’s, and volunteered at the local senior home.
Her quicksilver mind that could spot things others couldn’t was easily considered as part of her intelligence. She was a very smart girl, after all. Her obsession with puzzles and codes was easily filed away as a quirk or a phase she was going through until she found a new hobby.
Everything about her life seemed to be on track to become ordinary, until the day of the accident.
At least, they told her it was an accident. Kara doesn’t remember any of it. All she really remembers is waiting for a train at a subway station. She remembers her father mentioning a Trainmaster who would take them away, somewhere new. To a new home, her mother had said. [This is from the 3rd movie]
And then nothing.
Kara thinks she must have been dreaming, because she can remember being left alone in that subway station — the walls were blank and a sterile white, with nothing to indicate the presence of life except Kara herself sitting on the otherwise empty bench. She can remember the feeling of waiting, waiting endlessly for the nothing that would come — no trains, no other passengers, no one else at the station with her. She can remember running along the platform tirelessly, only to end up in the same place she’d started from. She remembers the feeling of being left behind and trapped and scared. Mostly scared.
And then the next thing she knows, she’s awake on a hospital bed with Eliza Danvers sleeping on the chair next to her.
The Danvers had found her on the train platform, curled up, unconscious, on the same bench she’d dreamed of. They’d thought she was a runaway, or a missing child, but the FBI agents who had come to Kara’s hospital room had told her that her parents were dead.
An accident, they’d said. A subway malfunction that had taken out a whole car. Under investigation, the man in sunglasses and a dark suit had reassured Jeremiah and Eliza in a monotonous voice.
With no one to claim her, no other family to speak of, Kara is taken in by the Danvers. They’re good people, kind and understanding when Kara wakes up in the middle of the night with nightmares of being trapped in a white sea of nothingness.
When Kara wakes up crying and sweating, Eliza is there to soothe her and rock her in her arms until she fell asleep again. When she tells Jeremiah that everything is too loud and bright, he sits her down and teaches her to calm her thoughts and meditate.
Alex, who had gone from being an only child to having an anxious, high-maintenance little intruder in her room, is less than happy about the situation. She keeps her distance, and gives Kara cold glares from across the bedroom or ignores her completely.
Until one night when Alex sneaks back into their room from the concert she’d snuck out to earlier, and finds Kara sitting on one corner of her bed with her knees curled up. With Alex gone for most of the night, Kara had been alone and had refused to fall asleep, terrified of having nightmares again.
With only a little bit of grumbling, Alex tosses all their pillows and blankets onto the floor, and drapes one of her sheets over both their beds to make their first blanket fort. The first of many.
Curled up on the floor next to Alex, Kara sleeps soundly through the night for the first time since waking up without her parents.
Still, despite slowly settling in with the Danvers, Kara can’t shake the feeling that something is off.
It feels as if everything around her is just a little bit off-kilter. As if the world had somehow changed in the time she’d been unconscious. Or maybe she had. Either way, it feels as if both Kara and the world around her know on some level that she’s not supposed to be here. Perhaps it’s because she was meant to die along with her parents. But by some unknown anomaly, here she is, half of her present, half of her straining to join her mother and father wherever they are.
It’s not a reflection on the Danvers. Kara couldn’t have asked for a better family to care for her. And she cares for them too. Over time, Kara gains a sister she would die for in a heartbeat, instead of a roommate who barely tolerated her presence when she first arrived. Her definition of ‘mother’ slowly expands and makes room for Eliza in her heart. She finds a man to respect and admire in Jeremiah.
Still, the feeling of being out of place persists throughout the years, always in the back of Kara’s mind.
Tragedy strikes when Jeremiah disappears.
It happens quickly, too quickly. One day her foster father is there, the next he’s gone. The only clue the police get is the last voicemail on Jeremiah’s phone.
The message starts with Jeremiah’s voice, reminding Alex that he’ll be picking her up from softball practice later, then it cuts off abruptly without warning.
Ten seconds later, another voice is heard through the other end, this time a smooth monotone. It sounds nothing at all like Jeremiah, and it sends a chill down Kara’s spine.
“The Luthor girl escaped again. She has eluded us one too many times for a human. She cannot avoid the inevitable…. Send the Brother. Next time, she dies.”
Nothing is found at the scene but Jeremiah’s phone. No evidence, no ransom note, no explanation for the strange message, nothing to trace, nothing to at all to suggest that Jeremiah Danvers was there. The blank-faced FBI agents offer no sympathy when they inform Eliza of the news in a smooth, apathetic monotone.
[[In case it’s not clear, Jeremiah got turned into an agent by the other agents who were chasing Lena during one of the times she was plugged into the Matrix]]
Their little family is shocked and reeling, but they cling to one another in their grief. Kara remembers something her mother always used to say. Stronger together, Kara. Life is hard, and we cannot face it alone. We must be each other’s strengths. We are always stronger together.
Still, life goes on. Keeps moving on, even after tragedy and loss. Sometimes, Kara feels as if the world is in constant motion, its inertia having no time to waste on a young girl who feels as if she has been left behind.
The sense of alienation increases, and Kara is diagnosed with depression. Which only serves to increase her family’s concern, and puts a near-permanent look of worry in Eliza’s eyes.
So Kara puts on her brightest smile and hugs her foster mother. She talks more, smiles wider, laughs louder, and makes more friends to go out with so she’s not at home alone in her room which no longer has Alex in it.
Alex goes to college, then med school, the chip on her shoulder large enough to be seen from space. She’s determined to find out what really happened to her father, and Kara knows how stubborn she is.
But she only really finds out how serious Alex is when her older sister declares that she’s joining the FBI, and no amount of talking from either Kara or Eliza can dissuade her.
And it’s not as if Kara has a leg to stand on. At least Alex has a purpose, a direction. Meanwhile, Kara has no idea what she wants to do with her life. She meanders around after college, a little bit lost and floundering. She’s intelligent, her professors said, but she lacks focus.
Eventually, she gets hired at Catco as an assistant to the big boss herself, Cat Grant.
All of 5’4” in heels, the woman herself strikes fear into the heart of every intern roaming the halls. It’s impossible not to snap to attention when her private elevator dings and she steps out. Each click of her heels is a reminder of the power she wields, and honestly, Kara is a little terrified of her.
But she straightens her spine and her glasses, tucks her hair behind her ear, and refuses to be cowed.
And it’s as if Miss Grant takes it as a challenge to break her, because her demands become more and more unrealistic, more and more impossible. But something inside Kara tells her not to back down, to stare her right back, and wait her out. Cat Grant is a puzzle, and Kara has always been good at puzzles.
The key comes in the form of Carter Grant.
Cat tasks Kara to pick her son up from school one afternoon, and Kara finds the young boy waiting for her right outside the school gates. He’s a very sweet boy, a little shy, but he eventually tells Kara about this comic he’s been reading about a young superhero named Supergirl.
As he begins to brighten up talking about his new favorite character, Carter doesn’t notice the car coming from the other side of the street. Neither does Kara at first. But something inside her tells her to turn around.
Maybe it was a sound, an instinct, and unconscious observation too quick for her mind to consciously process. Whatever it was, it had her turning just in time to see the car heading straight for Carter.
She barely has time to pull the boy back to the sidewalk, and the car almost clips him. Almost.
“Are you okay??” Kara hurriedly checks Carter for any injuries or signs that he’s shaken up. Other than the boy’s wide eyes, he seems to be fine.
“That- that was amazing! You were so fast, Kara! You were like Supergirl! How did you do that?”
As they walk back home, Cart gushes about how awesome Kara’s save was, how she was as fast and strong as Supergirl. Kara laughs it off, but the relief that the boy is okay lingers.
The second the front door closes behind Kara, Carter pulls out a phone and scrolls through the contact list until he finds ‘Mom’.
When Cat answers, he whispers excitedly into the phone. “She did it! She was even faster than Lena by 0.02 seconds!”
“Good. Did she say anything else?”
“She mentioned her sister. Are you going to tell the Manhunter? Is J’onn going to pull them out? Or maybe Lena can come? I like it when she comes to visit.”
A rustle of paper in the background, and Cat drawls in an almost bored voice. “Not yet. She’s not ready.”
[[In this AU, Carter is a computer program designed to assist the Oracle. Kinda like Seraph in the movies. He and Cat have a very unusual relationship. He was just supposed to be a simple program to help ward her, but he was designed to be charming in an innocent and disarming way to help distract from his real purpose. Cat developed a fondness for him, so when he tries to protect her when she’s in danger, she ends up shoving him behind her and protecting him.]]
On the anniversary of Jeremiah’s disappearance, another tragedy rocks the Danvers family.
Alex Danvers disappears.
Eliza is inconsolable, but Kara… Kara is numb, at first. Denial is always the first instinct of the human mind when a shock is delivered to its system. There’s talk of a search, trying to find out where she might have gone, her usual routine, any places Alex frequents — it all rolls over Kara’s head. They’re looking for a body, but that’s not how Alex is gonna be found.
Unlike Jeremiah’s disappearance, Alex’s is not without a trail. She is an FBI agent after all. There will always be a trail, and like in most FBI cases, it can be found in the absence of one.
In this case, it’s Alex’s computer. It’s missing.
The more Kara thinks about it, the more it galvanizes her. Kara knows Alex, knows her quirks and her habits. She didn’t have many friends outside of work, mostly people from med school she’s since lost touch with. No, anything that happened to Alex would be connected to her work, and Alex kept all her work files in that computer.
She throws herself into finding it. Find it, and she finds Alex.
For months, Kara follows every lead, every loose thread she can find, all in the hope of finding the computer. Every time she comes across a dead end, she doggedly retraces her steps until she can find another lead. The chalkboard in the kitchen that used to house her grocery list desk becomes a list of all possible locations. Her desk at Catco is a disaster of papers and post-it notes — a receipt from Cat’s dry cleaners here, the number for Annie Leibovitz’s assistant there, and Alex’s bank statements piled on top.
All the while, Cat watches her. Observes her tenacity, her ability to find patterns that no one else would’ve noticed, her keen attention that allows her to find details that other people would’ve ignored.
Finally, after nearly a year of looking, Kara finds Alex’s computer in a security deposit box under the alias Alice Liddell.
It takes her all night, but Kara manages to gain access to Alex’s documents. She finds file after file on Alex’s investigation into Jeremiah’s disappearance. Articles on similar disappearances all over the world. Some incidents are identical to Jeremiah’s, some with more of a trail. The victimology is all over the place, but in certain cases, there is a disturbing pattern.
A number of the disappearances occur in National City, and nearly all of them have one thing in common. They’ve all been patients or relatives of patients at the Luthor Family Hospital — a stroke patient and his fiancee, a woman in a car accident, a man with a gunshot wound, an old lady with Alzheimer's and her widow, even three children from the cancer ward and one of their mothers. Most of these people were deceased, but there must have been some reason Alex thought otherwise. And if she was right, then there is something very disturbing going on in the Luthor Family Hospital.
Kara keeps searching the files, and finds a certain devolution in Alex’s notes. Towards the end, she seemed more and more disorganized, her thoughts more and more disjointed. And Kara feels a terrible sense of guilt at not noticing what her sister was going through.
Throughout the files, she finds multiple references Alex made to something called the Matrix. She stumbles upon a mess of a pdf that she’d originally thought was gibberish, but upon closer inspection actually more closely resembles computer code. And in the middle of the unintelligible tangle of letters and symbols, she finds a question.
What is the Matrix?
Just as Kara is trying to make sense of the question, a new message alert appears in Alex’s inbox. Kara stares at the screen. It originated from Alex’s own email. Frowning, she clicks on the message, and her eyes widen as she reads.
I’m alive.
Kara springs forward so fast, she almost dislodges the laptop from her kitchen counter. She tries multiple times to reply to the message, but nothing happens. Kara growls, and almost as if the computer can sense her frustration, another message appears.
I’m alive and I’m out.
Kara’s brows furrow. What? What the hell?
The Matrix still has you, Kara.
Kara’s frown deepens and she looks around her, checks the computer. Is this some kind of prank?
I’m sorry I had to leave, but you can’t follow. Not until you’re ready.
Ready for what, Kara thinks.
Ready to give it all up. Ready to wake up. You told me once that you felt like everything since you woke up in the subway station has felt strange, like a dream. You were right, it is. And you’ll find me, if you’re ready to wake up.
Kara’s jaw drops in shock.
Follow the white rabbit.
The message flashes across the screen for a moment, then the monitor goes black. Kara snaps it shut and pushes it as far away from her as she can.
That — what was that? A-a trick? A hallucination brought on by the lack of sleep and her hyperfixation?
She could check it again, turn the laptop back on and click on the messages again — but suddenly Kara is gripped by fear, and denial feels more like a comfort.
She packs away the computer, stowing it under the desk where she can’t see it, and goes to bed. She doesn’t sleep until 3 AM.
But of course, Kara is no coward. She’s never been one to back down to her fears. In the morning, armed with a cup of Noonan’s coffee and a clearer mind, she opens the laptop again.
She doesn’t quite have the courage to check the messages yet, but she finds another article. This time, about the [head] of the Luthor Family Hospital, a woman named Lena Luthor.
It takes no time at all for her quick mind to make a connection, but it takes a while for the rest of her conscious brain to catch up.
Luthor. She’d heard that name before. In a voicemail, the only thing left of Jeremiah Danvers. “The Luthor girl got away again.”
Lena Luthor.
That can’t be a coincidence. Alex had been looking into their dad’s disappearance, and the Luthor name has already come up more than once, and now a female Luthor.
All the research she does on Lena Luthor comes up with next to nothing. Other than business articles and some papers in several scientific journals, there’s very little mention of the woman. So far, all Kara knows is that Lena Luthor is the CEO of one of the leading tech companies in the world, dedicated to providing accessible technology and communication devices to billions of people all over the globe — their new L-Phones are popping up everywhere. She’s also apparently a brilliant scientist and researcher, invested in scientific research to help prevent and cure diseases. She also owns and is directly involved in the running of the Luthor Family Hospital, a facility known for innovative and experimental medicine.
And for all of her work and accolades, there has never been a single photograph of this woman past the age of 6. Nothing. This woman’s image has never been recorded in any way, in any kind of media, in any event, in all the years that she has been running L-Corp. How is that even possible?
Now, Kara’s definitely suspicious.
Three days after the computer is found — plenty of time for thinking, but not too much time to do something stupid, she thinks — Cat makes her move.
She summons Kara to her office and delivers her ultimatum, in the form of an offer.
“Y- You think I have what it takes to be a reporter?”
“You’re an intelligent woman, Keira. But more than that, you can see things others can’t. You observe far more than people give you credit for. You could have a bright future here at Catco.”
Cat surveys her intently over her glasses. “It’s your choice. You can take the job, or you can keep wasting your life going down this rabbit hole.”
Cat gestures toward Kara’s messy desk, but again Kara’s quick mind gives her a nudge. That’s the third reference she’s heard in as many days. Rabbit hole. Alice. White rabbit.
Kara asks Cat for time to think about it, but really, she’s already made her decision. She uses her connect as Cat’s assistant to set up an appointment, introducing herself as Kara Danvers from Catco, writing an article about the Luthor Family Hospital.
The assistant confirms that Miss Luthor would be delighted to give Catco a glimpse into the facility to bring awareness of the work they do, and confirms the time.
When Kara arrives, she is directed to the children’s cancer center. When she sees the whimsical mural of a white rabbit hopping along a trail on the walls, she knows she’s at the right place.
Kara follows the mural until she reaches a room at the end of the hall. A soft feminine voice floats down the hallway and reaches Kara’s ears.
“To begin with, tell me, do you think that these men would have seen anything of themselves or of one another except the shadows cast from the fire on the wall of the cave that fronted them?
How could they, he said, if they were compelled to hold their heads unmoved through life?”
Kara walks closer, drawn to the sound. She stops just outside the door to what is clearly a child’s hospital room. A little girl in white pajamas and a colorful bonnet sits cross-legged in the middle of the bed, listening to the dark-haired woman sitting on the chair by her side. The woman’s back is turned to Kara, but she can see the book she’s reading from. Plato.
“By Zeus, I do not, said he.
Then in every way such prisoners would deem reality to be nothing else than the shadows of the artificial objects.”
“Quite inevitably.” The little girl on the bed quotes with a smile. Kara hears a soft, amused hum from the woman.
“Consider, then, what would be the manner of the release and healing from these bonds… When one was freed from his fetters and compelled to stand up suddenly and turn his head around… and lift up his eyes to the light, and in doing all this, felt pain…”
Kara sees the moment the reader realizes that she’s there. The woman’s head turns just the slightest, and Kara can see her sharp, elegant profile silhouetted in the light. She keeps reading, but at this point, they both know she’s aware of Kara’s presence. Kara continues to listen silently.
“What do you suppose would be his answer if someone told him that what he had seen before was all a cheat and an illusion… But that now, being nearer to reality and turned toward more real things, he saw more truly?”
Just then, the little girl’s eyes snap up to meet Kara’s, and big black eyes blink owlishly at her. “Miss Lena, we have a visitor.”
The woman finally turns, and Kara gets her first glimpse of Lena Luthor. Cut-glass green eyes are perceptive as they take Kara in, and a small smile plays on the corner of red lips.
“So we do, Zuri.”
She sets the book down on the bed beside the child and rises from her seat, a pale hand extended. "Kara Danvers, I presume?"
It takes Kara a second to reply, unable to take her eyes off the woman. There’s something arresting about her, something that could probably stop anyone in their tracks. Even the way she tips her head to survey Kara is fluid and mesmerizing.
Clearing her throat, Kara takes Lena Luthor’s proffered hand. “Yeah – uh, yes.”
The woman's smile grows. "I've been expecting you."
For a moment, the words make Kara's stomach flutter, then the 'duh' moment hits her. Of course she'd been expecting her, they had an appointment. Kara's face flushes red. "I've been looking forward to meeting you, Miss Luthor."
Green eyes gain a look of amusement and crinkle at the corners. Lena Luthor looks as if she has a secret, or like she’s in on a joke Kara doesn't know. "Not as much as I have, I'm sure."
Kara's brows furrow in confusion, but before she can ask the woman what she means, the Luthor bends down and kisses the top of the child's head, before heading out the door and gesturing for Kara to follow.
[[I just love the idea of Lena reading the Allegory of the Cave to the children like she did when she was a kid, as her way of preparing them, a way of telling them that yes, extraction will hurt, it won't be easy to accept the truth, but they will be free].
[Also in this AU, the extraction points used to be the pay phones like in the movie, except those got phased out once the machines figured out that’s what the resistance was using. So Lena developed the L-phones, and made it so one would always be easily accessible. That’s the work she does at L-Corp]]
After their tour of the hospital concludes, Lena watches Kara walk out through the double doors, throwing a friendly wave behind her. As soon as she's out of sight, she pulls out an L-phone.
"Well, she’s persistent, I'll give you that."
"Told you. Who do you think she got it from?”
“I see stubbornness runs in the family.” Lena hums in amusement.
A chuckle from the other end of the line. “You have no idea.”
"How close is she?"
Alex’s voice turns business-like. "Well, she’s made the connection to you, and Kelly’s seeing some sizeable fluctuations in the code, so I'd say she’s getting there. J’onn thinks she might be ready soon. He says she’s responding quickly for someone who hasn’t had as long to adjust. Sooner if you prepare her, probably.”
“That won’t be a problem.”
“Rhea,” Lena can hear the seething disdain Alex’s voice, and thinks her mentor is probably standing over Alex’s shoulder as they speak. “Would like me to remind you that the sooner we pull out my sister —“ Lena can almost see her glare at Rhea. “The sooner you can get back to the Daxam, and this can ‘all be over with’.”
Lena shakes her head. “I’m not pulling her out before she’s ready. The consequences could be disastrous.”
“Yeah? Try telling that to your Captain.”
They’re interrupted by an excited young voice. “Hi, Lena!”
“Mon-El?”
Alex snorts over the line. “Yeah, can you believe her? She brought the kid over just to get you to ‘speed things up’.”
“When are you coming back, Lena? I miss you! I snuck into the dock last week, but M’gann caught me. She said she’d teach me how to make shells if I promised not to go past the bridge again. And Imra asked if she could come with us the next time we go to the bridge to see the loaders, I told her yeah. That’s okay, right?”
Despite the seriousness of their situation, Lena can’t help but smile a bit at the young boy’s enthusiasm. “Of course she can. I’ll be back soon, Mon-El. Stay out of trouble, and do what your ranking officer says.”
“Okay, kid, you heard the lady. Go bother Brainy and Kelly at operations. It's about time you learn to read code anyway."
Lena can hear the boy grumbling in the background, but he obeys. As soon as he's out of earshot, Lena goes back to business.
“Start a trace for Kara's pod location, and standby. Be ready to plug in when I tell you to.”
"Copy. J’onn’s gonna try to get us as close as he can, but it's the fields. We can never be too careful. And Lena…? Try to make it easy for her."
Alex’s voice softens at her request, her concern for her sister evident in every word, and Lena understands. Just as Alex understands that there is nothing easy about the truth Kara will have to see.
"I'll do what I can."
This is not the last time Kara pays her a visit.
Under the guise of her article, Kara returns to Lena again. And again.
The first time she comes over under the guise of an interview, she stays until lunch. And then takes Lena to lunch, partly to make up for ruining her schedule, and partly because the CEO confesses that she often forgets to eat throughout the day.
They eat at Kara’s favorite lunch spot, Noonan’s, where Kara is aghast to learn that Lena has never tried any of their desserts despite the café being less than a block away from L-Corp. They end up trying nearly every dessert on the menu. Or at least Lena samples a little bit of everything, and Kara finishes it all off.
They part, with some reluctance on Kara’s end, three hours past Kara’s allotted time, but Lena assures her that it was worth clearing her schedule, considering how much she enjoyed Kara’s company.
It’s only after she’s no longer in Lena’s presence that Kara realizes she’d all but forgotten about her purpose for coming, which was to interrogate her about the suspicious disappearances at the Luthor Family Hospital, and about Lena’s possible involvement in Alex’s own disappearance.
She returns, this time with the flimsy excuse of bringing Lena lunch now that she knows the CEO won’t remember it herself. Lena suggests they go out to the nearby city park to enjoy her break there.
Lena leads her to a bench on a hill and they sit there quietly, enjoying their view of the park. Lena gives Kara a shy smile. “I like to come out here sometimes. When everything becomes… too much. Sometimes, everything around me just feels so wrong and… fake. Especially with what I do. It feels like none of it, none of this is real.”
Kara turns to look at her fully, a crinkle in her forehead, and Lena wonders if she's pushing it. “What do you mean?”
“Have you ever had that feeling where… you’re not sure if you’re dreaming or awake? And you’re not quite sure if anything around you is real or not?”
Lena chances a look at the other woman. Kara is looking back at her, eyes wide and intent. It takes a moment, one long moment where Kara is just staring at her, as if trying to puzzle her out. Then she nods.
“Yeah. All time.”
“That’s how I used to feel.” Lena holds her gaze, steady green meeting wondering blue. Kara is so close right now, so close that Lena could tell her. How easy it would be if Lena could convey the truth just by looking into Kara’s eyes. But she’s not ready yet. Lena drops her gaze with a soft laugh.
“I guess I was just thinking, if none of this is real, then none of my problems there would be real, either.” She gestures back at L-Corp with a wry smile.
Kara takes the bit, and her smile softens, blue gaze losing some of its intensity.
Kara fails her mission again that time. And the next. And the next. It feels as if she forgets her problems when she’s with Lena. For the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel like she’s out of place. The world doesn’t feel so wrong when she’s with Lena, or at least, it doesn’t bother Kara as much. She feels like… herself.
As for Lena, she knows they’re running out of time, and that the agents will catch wind of them soon. Especially since Kara is on the precipice of the truth.
But for the first time, Lena finds herself delaying the inevitable. It’s unlike her — the Potential who has spent her whole life freeing as many minds from the Matrix as she can; the second-highest ranking officer and chief engineer of the Daxam, who seizes every situation with a level head and a calm command.
“What are you doing, Lena?”
Rhea’s voice is an imperious snap, even over the line. “You have never spent this long in the Matrix since I pulled you out. You’re putting yourself in danger for a simple extraction. It shouldn’t be taking this long.”
“No extraction is ever simple. I told you, she’s not ready.”
“I know you and that Oracle—” the word is practically a hiss in her mentor’s mouth. “—think that this woman is a Potential, but if she really were that special, she would’ve been ready a long time ago. You were ready long before I found you.”
“This is different—“
“Why? Because you’re sweet on her?”
Lena’s eyes narrow. “You know that’s not why.”
As soon as Lena’s tone gains an authoritative edge, Rhea softens. “I know, my dear. But you know how I worry about you being plugged in for so long with… Lex out there. Besides, you have been neglecting your duties on the ship. Your crew needs you, Mon-El needs you. Come back home, Lena.”
Lena relents. “I will. Soon.”
But ending her time with Kara is easier said than done.
It may be selfish, but around Kara, Lena feels lighter. Her responsibilities don’t weigh as much, and the bleakness of war vanishes in the company of someone so earnest and warm and hopeful. Kara is… resilient. In spite of all that she’s been through, she remains strong, determined, and most incredible of all, kind.
Lena watches Kara with the children — the youngest Potentials, who see the wrongness of the world around them, but aren’t ready yet to be pulled out — and watches her pull gap-toothed smiles and belly laughs out of even the most solemn ones.
She extends this kindness, even to Lena — over daily reminders to eat and take care of herself, to lunch dates she tags Lena along to because she thinks Lena will forget to eat otherwise.
Once, after a successful extraction of one of Lena’s children, a somber Kara brings a small bouquet of plumerias to the little girl’s empty room. She finds Lena sitting next to the child’s empty bed.
“I’m so sorry.” Kara plucks a single plumeria from the bouquet, before setting the flowers on the girl’s pillow.
Lena shakes her head, a serene smile on her face. “Don’t be. She’s free. She’s in a better place now.”
Kara, not understanding her words, gives her a sad smile. She takes Lena’s hand and presses the single plumeria into her fingers. “I’m sure she is.”
Every day, Lena fails to tell Kara the truth, wanting to prolong their time together. And most of all, wanting to spare Kara for just a little longer. Lena can’t bear the thought of being another person who adds to everything Kara’s gone through, of being the reason why that smile dims a little more, or worse, never appears again at all.
Her hesitation nearly costs them everything.
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