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#i might come back to finish this on tuesday. hopefully i'm feeling better then
mirrortouchedsea · 8 months
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Day 13
Niki’s alarm went off and he awoke to…nothing. Rinne had gone to sleep with him last night but now he was nowhere to be seen. There was no sound from the bathroom or kitchen to indicate that he was still home either. Not the first time Rinne had gotten up earlier than Niki, but it was still strange. 
Niki shrugged it off. Maybe there was some important unit leader meeting at Cospro or something he had forgotten to mention to Niki the night before, so he just got up and stretched before making his way to the kitchen. 
Sitting on the table was a plate of pancakes, eggs, and sausage, something he definitely should have noticed being cooked. He surely would have woken up to the smell of breakfast cooking. There was a note sitting next to it, which Niki read after putting the food in the microwave to reheat. 
Dear Niki-kyun~ 
Your beloved Rinne-kun has a special surprise for you! Eat up and follow the notes! Kohaku-chan will have the next one. 
Rinne 
Niki sighed. Of course it was another one of Rinne’s antics, but he’d play along since he had the decency to cook something for him, or at least have something delivered. He quickly scarfed it down and sent out a text to Kohaku asking to meet at Cinnamon in twenty minutes. Hopefully the wild goose chase wouldn’t last all day. 
When he got to Cinnamon, Kohaku was already sitting in a booth with two drinks and a card on the table. He waved to Niki and Niki walked over and sat across from the youngest member of Crazy:B. 
“Do you have any idea what Rinne-kun is planning?” Niki asked, taking a sip of the drink Kohaku had gotten for him before tearing open the note. 
“Not a single clue.” Kohaku replied, sipping his own drink. 
Niki read the second note aloud. 
“Dear Niki-kyun, you’ve found the second note! Congratulations~ Feel free to sit and chat with Kohaku-chan for a little while, and Merumeru will have the next one! See you soon~” 
“Can’t he just be a normal boyfriend for once?” Niki asked, laying his head on the table. 
Kohaku awkwardly rubbed Niki’s shoulder to try and comfort him, which Niki accepted. 
“Well, I guess I should ask HiMERU-kun where he is. See ya later, Kohaku-chan.” 
“See ya. Tell Rinne-han he owes me one for this.” 
“Yeah yeah he’ll get an earful from me later.” 
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aroyaltailor · 16 days
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semi-hiatus (vent warning)
Currently failing Spanish 102 and things are not getting better. In a move that I'm sure will surprise none of those who follow this blog, I am going to be taking a hiatus from any writing. Yes, another break! Another hiatus, putting off work on this blog and leaving the replies I owe to rot in my drafts. The words simply do not come out of me, and I'm still struggling with perfectionism that blocks any genuine attempts at getting anything done. I basically have to learn the entirety of Spanish, or at least the relevant information for the class, because if I fail I won't be able to graduate this semester.
It's the same damn thing every time. I've submitted a request for the counseling service provided by my college, but they have a two week waiting period due to the huge influx of students needing mental health help these days. I genuinely believe that I've reached a point where I need professional help with my writing, and that I have somekind of OCD that prevents me from simply writing the first draft without needlessly fussing over every word.
I really didn't want to have to make this post. I was holding on to the hope that things would be alright. I was hoping that everything would be okay. That I'd be able to create legitimate routines, learn how to comprehend Spanish, and that I would be able to have the time to sit back and focus and work on building this blog.
The first exam of the class is next Tuesday, September 10th. I won't lie, I'm basically spiraling at this point. Self-care is at a total minimum, and I haven't really been taking care of my health either. I'm not eating much, both out of lack of hunger and the simple fact that my household doesn't have any food available. Today alone, I've been slouched over the table in the upstairs study rooms of my college, staring at this damned screen all day. Suicidal thoughts, a bit of self-harm with a pen, it feels just as bad as organic chemistry. And the genuine possibility that I might be kicked out the house if I fail Spanish 102 isn't helping matters. I don't really have anyone to talk to either, not in-person at least. Not really even online either, but that's probably too jaded for me to say. Doubt anyone will even read this, but that understandable I guess. Everyone has their own problems, so many people do, and they can't pause and stop when they have their own concerns to deal with, especially for someone that hasn't really produced anything.
Let's just say it isn't getting better. It's not. It's getting worse. I can't be on here as much as I want to, and I'm beginning to think that I've been damaged permanently by what happened to me. My dad had lung cancer, I did everything I could, but that's all I can say about it. Even just typing that sentence has me bawling now.
I'll either pass Spanish 102 this semester or I won't. If I don't, I definitely won't take it well. I'm sorry for everything I've said about how I'd made progress, or that I'd be around to do replies only to post nothing at all. I'm not doing well and haven't been for awhile.
Hopefully things will get better. But then again, I've said that before haven't I? Time will tell. I'm sorry to everyone for the times I've wasted their time with starters or replies I haven't responded to yet. Blog isn't even finished yet, but if I pass I'll try. I promise I'll try.
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senioritis2024 · 5 years
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The Pub
(Y/n)'s POV
"Come on, you have to come with me. I'll be bored without you and you need a break." You begged.
"You know I can't, besides, if I don't get my work done then I won't finish it before my deadline" She argued.
You couldn't believe it, your friend was freaking out about a project that had a deadline... IN 3 WEEKS. She was always super crazy about getting her work done but this was getting a little irritating and out of hand.
"(Y/b/f/n/n), you need to stop. It's not due for 3 weeks and you will get it done. I can bet you $50 that you will get it done before next weekend if you come and do this with me."
"What if I don't want to risk it? You know I will end up only thinking about work and I won't be any fun. Then you won't get to enjoy your night out."
"I don't care if you end up only thinking about work, as long as you go I will have fun. Now, no more arguing, we need to get dressed and you need to do our makeup. I would do it but it won't be nearly as good as if you do it." You said as you stood up from your bed and walked towards your closet.
"(Y/n)...." (Y/b/f/n) said, dragging out your name just to be dramatic.
You ignored her as you continued looking in your closet for something to wear tonight.
"Even if I go, which I haven't decided yet, I have nothing to wear and I am not wearing pajamas."
"No duh," You said as you walked out with a couple options for both you and (Y/b/f/n). "I refuse to let you look like a bum. Plus, I have a couple dresses that you could wear."
"Nuh-uh. I am not going to wear any of your clothes, I wouldn't be comfortable showing that much skin."
You had to bite your tongue to keep from calling your best friend out and saying she dresses like an old lady. You just felt a little more comfortable with your body than she does and so you would wear SLIGHTLY more revealing clothes than she would.
"(Y/b/f/n), I would never make you wear something slutty, but if you feel uncomfortable with what I pick out you can take one of my tank tops and wear it underneath. Okay?"
"Fine, but you seriously owe me big time."
"I'm fine with that. Now please pick something out while I get dressed." You said as you walked to your bathroom that was across the hall.
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(Y/b/f/n)'s POV
Each dress was a little, and by a little I mean A LOT, out of my comfort zone. But I already gave into (Y/n) and I don't feel like being lectured again. I decided to look at the dresses, figuring that I could give them a chance. Each dress was stunning. The silver dress was a little low cut but it had sequins all over it that sparkled brightly in the light. The Navy dress was higher cut but a little shorter, however it was made of breathable fabric and happened to be my favorite color. The red dress was a satin fabric and cut a little lower than the blue but hugged my body in just the right places. I didn't want to admit it, but I loved the way this dress looked on me. I walk over to (Y/n)'s mirror and look at myself. Honestly, I actually look kinda cute and I wouldn't mind being seen in this dress.
"You look absolutely beautiful (Y/b/f/n/n)."
You jumped and turned around at your friend's comment as she walked in, wearing a gold, velvet dress and heels.
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"You need to learn to knock. What if I was naked?"
"Two things; 1) You weren't and 2) This is my room. I have the right to barge in."
"Whatever." You said with a smirk as you turned back around to admire how you looked.
"Is that what you are wearing? Because if not you're going crazy."
"Yeah, I'll wear this. Do you have any shoes I can borrow?"
"Sure," Your friend said as she walked back into her closet, reappearing in seconds with a pair of gold, strappy sandals in her hands. "I know you can't walk in heels let alone be able to dance with me, so here."
"Thanks, how much time do we have until we have to leave?"
"About an hour, I figure it'll give you time to do our makeup and then we can leave. We should have enough time to get drinks before the band starts. Hopefully I can catch the drummer's eye tonight, maybe I can even take-"
"(Y/n), I love you but I don't think I wanna know all that." You say with a giggle.
"Okay, suit yourself," She said as she walked over to her vanity. "Just don't ask to be my maid-of-honor at the wedding."
You just ignored her last comment as you began folding your clothes from the day, putting them on (Y/n)'s dresser. While you did that, (Y/n) began putting on foundation and concealer.
"What do you want me to do for your makeup. Are we thinking a cut crease? Smoky? Solid? Glitter?" You asked, even though you knew she wouldn't care.
"I'm thinking maybe a Smoky eye look. But as long as you can do what you do best and make me look good, I don't care."
"Alright, head back," you said as you grabbed one of her makeup brushes and began coating it with a light brown eyeshadow. "Do you plan on telling me anything about this drummer yet or do I have to hear about it after your wedding?"
"Don't be silly. Even if I ever got mad at you, you will always be my maid-of-honor. Now, the real tea. He is the drummer of Smile, tall, blonde, muscular, and a certified player. Don't get me wrong, I know that he doesn't really have a good reputation but-"
You couldn't pay attention after then first few sentences, you got lost in thought about what you were going to do about your assignment from work. But you couldn't play it off too well because in seconds you hear,
"EARTH TO (Y/b/f/n)!!! Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"
"Don't even think about lying to me, woman. I know you inside and out and it's obvious that something is bugging you. What's wrong?" The mother-figure in your friend came out and you couldn't help but sigh at how true her last statement was.
"Fine....I can't stop thinking about work and what's going to happen if I don't get this project done in time. What if I forget about it tonight and get fired for not doing it? What if I-"
"You better stop right there. Back it up. Come back to reality. We just had this conversation honey. You are going to be fine. It's not like I'm asking you to give up on work forever, I am only asking you to hang out with me for tonight. I promise you that you will get it done."
"Okay," You say with a sigh. "You know, I hate when you're right."
"So you hate me all the time?" She asked.
"Obviously"
She gasped dramaticly and commented, "How rude!!"
You couldn't hold your laughter in anymore so you burst out laughing. (Y/n) tries to keep a straight face but she ended up laughing with you after a couple of seconds. As you guys kept talking and gossiping about (Y/n)'s most recent ex, your guys' makeup eventually got finished and you headed out to catch a taxi to the pub where Smile was playing.
~Time Skip To Before Band Starts Playing~
(Y/n)'s POV
"Can I please get a Whiskey Sour?" I asked.
"And may I get a........Cherry Coke?"
The bartender walked away to get your drinks and you turned to (Y/b/f/n).
"What was with the Cherry Coke? You feeling risky tonight?"
"Actually, yeah. Since I'm going to be out and about, I figured, why not step a little out of my comfort zone. Ya know?"
You had to try your hardest not to laugh at her. Instead you settled for a nod and a shake of your head. You and (Y/b/f/n) kept chatting and nursing your drinks until the lights lowered and four men climbed onstage. One guy had big, brown curly hair and an electric guitar in hand. Another had light brown, wavy long hair and carried a bass. The lead singer went up front with shoulder length black hair and big teeth. Then the drummer went on back to his drum set and scanned the crowd as he sat down on his stool. When his eyes met yours, he sent you a wink and a smile that could melt you on the spot. But you weren't going to be that easy. You knew he was going to try and find you after by the look on his face when you sent him a smirk. This is going to be a fun night.
Hello guys! Thank you for reading this and I want you guys to know that the beginning might start off slow but it will get pretty interesting as is goes on. I will be trying to post chapters every Sunday if not they will be posted by every Tuesday. My wattpad account will be linked below and once I start posting my other story, some sneak peeks will be released for you guys. Thank you for reading this and I hope you guys have a nice week. Please reblog so this story gets around. Thank you and see you next Sunday. -M
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ilkkijangege · 5 years
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123
Chad Chronicles is on hold while we work from home.
I'll keep updating this post if anything does happen to us.
Basically, I was telling Jacqui how J*ck told me I should join Tinder, use it during work to find out of he is there and if we would match. But Jacqui was like "what if you don't see him there but his friends see you??" So I was like "Then good na he's not on it 😂 as if he's ever talked about me to his friends 😂"
Then, nearly an hour later, I looked at my "Friends You May Know" on FB (there's a rumor that that is a list of people who's viewed your profile) then I saw that one of his friends are on it!!! I was shook, if the algorithm theory is right, then his friend was stalking me which means he has talked about me to his friends. LOL AYAN NANAMAN OVERTHINKING BES EH 😂
Then Jacqui told me how she asked her bf: if you offer a lift to a girl, does that mean he's interested? Her bf said yes but I shouldn't overthink and wait for another big sign.
Anyways, my Mandalorian plan is still going ahead. 😂
20/3/2020
Well, we didn't really talk online, he welcomed one of the guy on our team because he just got his access sorted today but I did not get the same treatment yesterday 😭
It's G tho 😂 Seems like he really is super smart because I looked into one of his chats and he used the word "futile". I'm just....wow big word 😂
Lol anyways, we're out for the weekend, Disney+ comes out on Tuesday, will try to binge it as soon I can so I can message him by Thursday or something 😂 really hope our conversation can flow naturally. Like I will just say "oh I've finished it and I am now obsessed with Baby Yoda or I can see why you are obsessed with Baby Yoda, he is adorable!" Then hopefully he can be like "What did you think of it?" Etc etc and we live happily ever after. CHOS.
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21/03/2020
Swear everyone is telling me to either text him or to keep my feet on the ground and let the connection grow.
I REALLY DO NOT KNOW. He keeps doing all these things to me and I am always overthinking it. My friends have told me not to but it is sooo hard. They told me to wait for other signs.
I really want to take a risk and tell him but I really do not want to ruin our new found friendship. I mean I really hope he's just waiting to make more signs because he doesn't think it's time yet or something but I just don't want to give give give and not have anything in return. Haaaay Lord, please help me!
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22/03/2020
This morning, I told my mom about the fact that he drove me home. At first, I couldn't tell her immediately, I was just staring at her the whole time and she asked "Anong kailangan mo sakin?" I said "nothing." "Bakit naka tingin ka sakin?" Then finally, I said, "Wala lang, may update lang ako sayo." Then she was like "ano may date ka???" I replied, "No update!!! Hinatid nya ako kila tita nung last time kaming pumasok.." and she was just like "ayie, hinahatid ka na ha." Then she told me, "yan dapat, cool ka lang. Pero tapusin mo muna.." She didn't complete her sentence but I knew she was talking about my FE1s but then she was probably thinking that I am nearly 25 and she should let me be. Hahaha. Then she asks "nag offer ba xa?" Sabi ko oo 😂
Then she asks me if he texts me and I told her no, we only talk in work. Then she replied, "ganun talaga" 😂 hay mother, if she had asked more details, I would have told her how I am getting mixed signals from him kaya di ko tlga sure kung gusto nya din ako 😂 but she didn't, so let's leave that for another time. 😂
Lord, pleaseee I trust you. If he doesn't reach out to me, ako na tlga mag rereach out. Need to binge The Mandalorian asap.
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23/03
He keeps reading my messages on our GC immediately but does not with other people
ANO BA GUSTO MO PARAMDAM KA NAMAN PLS
Happened again at 16;09 ANO BA HUHU
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24/03
STOP SEEN ZONING MY MESSAGES AS SOON AS I POST THEM AND START TALKING TO ME
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25/03
No sign of Chad life anywhere, he was pretty much quiet today, not reading/replying to messages etc
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26/03
I FINISHED THE MANDALORIAN YOU GUYS.
I took a risk and messaged him. It took me a whileeeeee but I just took the plunge.
Basically, I asked him how he was and how working from home has been coming along. It took him like 6 mins to reply, which was fine, we were in work so understandable.
He told me he is relaxed but about to get boring. He asked me ‘how about you?’ So I sent him this quite long response how I’ve been relaxed working in my jammies and binged watch Mandalorian, bummed about 2 eps so illegally streamed the rest. Told him that I am now also obsessed with Baby Yoda (he laughed react to this). Then he said how it was dumb for Disney not to release everything at once. (Was upset he didnt ask me what I thought of the show)
Then I told him if Netflix can do it, so can they. But he said people would just sign up for trial, watch it then cancel. Thennnn he asked if I liked it. I said yes except for Ch.6′s characters. He said he thinks you were not meant to like them.
Then I asked him if he thinks Fennec Shand is still alive. He was like which one was HE again? So I told him correction she* (laugh emoji) then explained her character. He was like ‘Oh yeaaahhh. Then boba fett was supposedly the one who found her” I replied ‘yup that’s the theory but I feel like she was pretty much lifeless already and maybe just a teaser for boba fett then?'
Then nearly 3 hours later, I go check our workplace chat and he seenzoned me. Okur. He read the message at 20.27. He better reply tomorrow or I’ll take it a sign that he really just isn’t interested in me.
On a side note, he went on lunch at 6pm, came back at around 7ish but didn't change his Status xD it's either he forgot or na distract na sya sakin CHOS sige laaaangg.
I swear I hope we can talk more tho. Since he seenzoned me, I will not message him again cos I don't want to look eager/desperate so yeah. Byeeeeee.
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30/03
STOP READING MY MESSAGES, dear heart and head, STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM.
I know you get notifications that "Bianca messaged..." Does your heart flutter when my name appears? STOP OVERTHINKING BIANCA.
Ayan nnmn tayo sa seenzone eh 14:55. Ano ba?
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1/04/20
I had a dream that he messaged me. He asked me how I was and for some reason, he told me to go to Google Music because they were having a sale and that I should make a track for him. (Like what?)
Also dreamt that he took me home again. When we got to our house, he told me we needed to talk. I think he confessed.
Ay ayoko na.
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5/4/20
Why do I keep dreaming about him? I dreamt that he messaged me on FB, really long paragraphs of him confessing his feelings.
Urgh.
Oh and I also paid for a tarot reading of how he really sees me. I mean idk if it's real but there are feelings there but there may be a third party but the reader could not 100% confirm it. It is highly probable, he's a single man who could totally date around. The reading also mention how he finds me attractive and sees a long term energy with me. It also says how he may not be ready for a serious romantic relationship but he can see it progressing down the line. But honestly, I do not see him as someone who longs for sex, yknow? I am nearly sure that he could still be a virgin but the fact that he frequented Krystle in college, makes me question it. I mean, he is a white male, it is something I am not super pressed about.
I've just been thinking, if I were to get with a Filipino guy, is there anyone out there who has never had a girlfriend or who has even dated anyone?
Chad really gives me the vibe of never having a girlfriend before but I really see him as not looking for anything at the moment to focus on his dream job.
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6/4/20
Okay, why did I have a dream that he proposed to me??
I think we argued over something and then a few days later, he proposed. Wtf.
From what I remember, he only proposed in his car. lol
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8/4/20
So we had a team call today. He has not been working since like Thursday last week because he could not get his VPN to work.
But dang. I heard his voice after 3 weeks. He sounds the same as in real life but his American accent is more prominent 😂
Then our TL said we might still be working from home for the next 3-4 months and I'm just like. HUHUHU.
Will I be over you by then?
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10/04/20
Had a dream we were back in the office and we were having banters again like nothing has changed.
I think he also messaged me on Facebook one of these isolation days...
I swear I know it was probably unintentional for him to ghost me like that.
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11/04/20
So I've been searching his Gamer tag on Google, even before I decided to let go of him and there is this one file I keep noticing, it is League of Legends and it seems his password is Yugioh246 😂 it is actually hilarious 😂 I didn't know he is that big of a nerd. I don't see it as a bad thing because I like nerds and I am drawn to them but I hope he is not an incel because that is a major turn off.
Yes, I am not wishing for us to be together anymore but I really hope he finds the woman of his dreams. He deserves to have someone who will understand him for who he is.
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13/04/20
Another thing, how do I listen to songs without thinking of him?? It is getting frustrating. I used to listen to these songs without thinking of him and now all I do is associate these songs to him. Nakakainis.
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14/04/20
Why do you keep reading my messages then stop reading others' after mine??
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18/04/20
Argh why did I dream of him again?
We were back in the office daw and I sat in a different computer because I was avoiding him as in. For some reason, the coat rack was behind him so when it was home time, I grabbed my coat as fast as I could so he would not talk to me. He was slouched in his seat and looked really tired. His hair was long like mid length sufer dude hair, he was not wearing his hat. But then he saw me and called me and said "Bianca, I'll give you a ride home." I replied, gaga naman ate nyo, "If it's not raining, I can walk but if it is, I'll take the bus." He replied, "What time is your bus?" I replied, "In an hour." He replied, "Okay, if it's raining, I'll wait for you here, let me know." Then I grabbed my stuff from my locker, I went out the office and it was raining. I went back into the office and told him that it was raining. So he got up from his seat and we walked to his car. On the way, I noticed he looked really tired and his eyes were red so I asked him, "Did you not sleep?" His reply was: "Yeah I came to work with no sleep." So we just walked to his car and he opened the door for me. He even adjusted my seat.
Then for some weird reason, we ended up in Dolphins Barn, like the flats and around Tesco. Then there were billboards for Book of Mormons and he saw it he said or read "What about the Mormons?" Then I was confused at first so he pointed at the ads for the Book of Mormons. Then I told him: "Oh I really wanna see that! I heard it's meant to be one of the best Broadway shows." He then tells me he is not a big play fan but there is something he likes. I asked him but he saw another Book of Mormons billboard and pointed to it. Then we reached Reilly's Ave and idk why but my whole family and our old neighbors were all outside. Bsta ang weird talaga na he dropped me off in our old house. Dreams are weird.
So I just thanked him and watched him leave.
Aish why did I dream of you again???
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20/4/20
Had another dream about him. Just why oh why? What are these dreams trying to tell me? I haven't been thinking about him seriously so idk.
Basically in this dream, we were all back in the office. So we got a few newbies who joined our team. And management/TL thought it was a good idea to blend the newbies with the senior agents so there was a complete seat change again. Chad and the guy beside him moved to my old area, as in Chad moved to my old seat. While I was stayed in my current seat. Of course I felt sad that I won't be able to see him face to face as often anymore and that I felt like our friendship will drift apart again.
Basta ano baaa I don't understand this. Do I still have feelings for him deep down?
Oh and he read my message on the group chat again. 10:18am. I mean ok he's been active on the UKI chat today so here's me overthinking again.
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23/04/20
Another day, another Chad dream.
So in this dream, I was in Tesco with my mom or Aldi, anyways a supermarket.
I wanted to make Tacos so I was at the spice aisle, looking for a taco spice mix. Then out of nowhere, he pops up and sees me. Says hello and asked how I was etc, while I was grabbing the taco spice mix.
Then I told him goodbye but I still kept seeing him everywhere in the store even though I purposely was avoiding him.
WHY DO I KEEP DREAMING OF HIM.
It is honestly annoying. 😭
I just wanna move on.
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27/04/20
Been a while since my last dream but I dreamt that he drove me home, yet again, but I only remember the part where we entered Cherrywood and then I just got out of the car and don't even remember saying thanks. I stood at the front door, until he left.
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28/04/20
Arghhh he read my messages again on the office chat almost instantly at 2.37pm 😩😩😩😩 Whereas our own team's chat has been active all day, yet he has not read the messages on there since yesterday morning!!
Were you expecting that I messaged you or something??? CMON IF YOU WANNA TALK TO ME JUST MESSAGE ME. I already messaged you first, it's your turn.
Ugh I hate overthinking this!!
Also, 26th of April marked the 1st month since we last talked. Hmmmm have I fully moved on? I really don't think I have but I am just trying to live my life. Why must you be an introvert Chad, we'll be waiting for each other forever.
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6/05/20
Hmmmm... Beginning to think he actually has 3 siblings contrary to the fact that I thought he said there are 3 of them in the family, him being the eldest, followed by his sister then his younger brother.
If it is his brother that I saw on FB then it makes sense now because remember when he gave out chocolates for Christmas? I heard him say "my brother's work had them on sale" or something along the lines. And the other brother I was aware of was only a kid. This person I saw matches the bill, from Chicago and went to the same secondary school as him. (AND LOOKS LIKE HIM!!! We may be the same age or a year younger because he graduated secondary school in 2014) [yup he is older than me by 6 months and just like his older brother, he is also very much into Star Wars and video games. But he seems more social than his bro. Haha xa na lang date ko 😂 Chad 2.0 chosss Chad introduce me to your bro para di tayo awkward sa work 😂 They are actually only 10 months apart, I wonder if they are close.]
Hmmmmm why am I such a stalker 😂
(7.6 update: nah saw his bro's IG and he seems like a fckboi, his DP is a mirror selfie of him shirtless, showing off his v line abs 😂)
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13/05/20
It's been a while. As of yesterday, he is fully back to work. We had a team meeting on Monday and he was on it. He said they gave him a laptop to work on. I had myself on mute so I was just listening to him. Yes I wanted to join in on the convo but I needed to stop myself. I need to distance myself until I fully move on from him.
Anyways, today, a case was assigned to me at around 8.30 in the morning. I didn't action it because the office was going mad with chats so I said I was gonna action it when I had a chance later on.
Then I noticed that it disappeared from my queue. I went to my closed cases and I saw that he had actioned it. I mean, I am not saying that he did it on his own free will, our TL may have asked him to go through our team's response received internal queue. Which is aight but this case was not originally mine, but one of his office broskis, na mean? So it's either he did not read the email thread at all or he just decided to close it in MY name. I mean he had to type my name and I wonder if he felt something. CHOSSSSSS 😂
But I'm telling you guys, ever since he got access again, my heart started fluttering again just like when I was still crushing on him, before I moved in front of him and he started giving me all these attention that made me fall in love with him.
I have been trying to move on. I even wrote a 7 page journal entry about my feelings. I've been super distracting myself by watching Kim Possible and staying away from sappy romantic shows 😂
I need more time to heal but it will be okay!
Update 14/5:
I got another case from the same broski, which he actioned yesterday and closed it under his broski's name but he closed the other one on mine.
Ugh why am I overthinking this again!!!
Chad please go away from my feelings 😩
15/5
Today, I helped him out with one of his cases.
He said 'thanks!' whereas the past few days, he's only been replying to people on our team with 'ty!'.
Made me overthink again but I was just being ridiculous 😂 'ty' tapos today sakin 'thanks', special ako chos 😂 honestly wasn't that bothered but okay! Stop giving me special treatment please 😂 don't treat me differently from others if you don't feel the same way because it's unhealthy for me 😂
Helped him again with another one and he said 'thanks!' again urgh. Swear tho, I was hesitating a bit when I was helping him. My heart was thumping again like it did before we started getting comfortable with each other 😭😭😭
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17/5/20
Exactly 2 months since I saw him and when he dropped me home.
Oh Chad. Will I ever be over you.
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18/5/20
Helped him with another case because no one was helping him so I was just being nice.
Bianca don't be marupok pls. You've been making progress. Don't relapse now.
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20/5/20
Another day of helping him out....
Basically he asked our group chat for help, no one replied for like 5 minutes so I said I'll help him.
Then he private messaged me about the case. He told me there were a lot and said "ahah". I should have joked around but I didn't or even asked him how he was 😭
But after I helped him, this was his reply:
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Huhuhu parang ang happy nya na may tumulong sa kanya. Chad naman, don't do this to me! I am trying to move on 😭
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21/05/20
Haaaayy... Reading my messages again as soon as I post them. Chad Chad Chad ....
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26/05/20
He legit have not read messages on our office GC since 10.30 this morning. I messaged a few times around 3pm and he kept reading them. Ano ba kasi Chad.
Don't be scared of rejection, I know I may not be showing real signs but I am an awkward turtle, just talk to me.
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27/05/20
As usual no one was helping him again so I private messaged him and asked if anyone was helping yet.
His response:
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Hahaha cute 😂 so I told him 'give me the deets, I'll send it up'.
He said 'ty!!', gave me the deets.
Then when I completed it, this was his reply:
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Hahaha naloka na xa, double a. Choss. I replied with "anytime 😊" 😂 para konti landi to let him know na I am here to help anytime HAHAHAHAHAHAHA chos
BAKIT HIRAP MAG MOVE ON MGA BESH
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5/6/20
So I've been hesitating about posting this but about 2 days ago? I had a dream about him again. It wasn't just him in it but the dream mostly centered about him and I.
Basically, we there was a party in the office and for some reason, I was getting ready at my desk as in curling my hair (so weird 😂😂😂).
Then Chad decided to go out of the computer area, probs was on a break or something. Then my team decided it was a good idea to hide his baby yoda plushie so I hid it in my locker and when he came back, he kept looking for it and we were just laughing at him. 😂
That was it haha.
But you guys, I've been diligently praying for my vocation and I've been getting signs about marriage etc. What if he's the one? God, please give me more signs.
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15/06/20
So it's been a while. I've been helping him here and there over the last few weeks.
Today's response was "awesome, thanks!"
And that made me kilig inside. 😂
I am awesome, chos! 😂
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16/06/20
Just saw the July Schedule and he is taking 2 weeks holidays 😂
Lol fam watchu gonna do? 😂
Tara let's go on a date chos 😂
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24/06/20
I miss him ☹️ But I've been good with not thinking about him a lot but I just really can't wait to be able to ask him out in person hahaayyyy
Hmmmm I also suddenly wondered if he still has the card I gave him for Christmas. That was a cute card, €4 din un ha hahaha
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3/07/20
Yo wassup.
I had a dream, so we were back in the office. We were on the weekend shift and for some reason, I decided I was staying back for a bit more so he left before me.
Basically, from this dream, it seems that we were on minimal speaking terms. So like as he was leaving, at the computer area door, he said bye to me and idk why, I asked him to have dessert with me on Monday 😂 it was weird 😂
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12/07/20
Okur, I had a dream that he dropped me off again in Cherrywood, like just out of nowhere. Like all I remember was that we were walking to his car together.
He even opened my door and carried my bag and walked me to the front door. Haaayyy....
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14/07/20
So today, I was overthinking again.
Basically there was a post in work where an SME asked him to tag his team. He tagged me first over his broskis and that made me quite overthink again. Like the way he tagged our team was not as if it was alphabetical order. So why did he tag me first?
Hahah ako ung unang pumasok sa isip nya
Huhuhu ayoko naaaaa
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19/07/2020
So he is on his 2 weeks PTO from tomorrow.
Haaaaayyyyy miss ko na xa, bakit ba kasi ako ganito. Pero as long as he has not said that he is not interested in me, may chance pa rin tlga kami eh.
Wag lang tlaga xang umalis ng company and it will be grand.
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08/08/20
Been a while since this was updated, nothing's been happening between us so there is nothing to report. But anyways, lately I've been having (r-rated) fantasies about him 😂 argh I just want to be with him 😂
He's also started playing Fall Guys on the PS4, we have something in common na chos 😂
Also, there's an SME position in work and I have a feeling he might apply huhu if he gets it, he'll be level 12 and I won't be able to date him 😭😂
Honestly still think may something sila ng QA namin huhuhu
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16/08/20
So I told MF on the 14th of August about everything that has happened, like how I was getting mixed signals that made me overthink alot to me messaging him twice and being left on read, also how I plan on asking him out when we get to the office. (Also how he dropped me home.)
I told her how it's been very hard for me in the last 5 months, trying to move on from someone I don't even talk to. She was very understanding and told me that she also has not talked to Chad since WFH, as she was also left on read. She said he may not be the texty type because he's quite shy.
I was honestly shook. I thought they talk, even on our workplace chat because they are close in work. Cause I asked her if it was even a good idea for me to ask him out or if she knows if he's seeing someone because I don't want to intrude. I told her I want to take a risk with him but a part of me fears rejection.
She asked me if I ever thought about asking him out for coffee since things are opening up. I told her, yes but I don't think we are in that level where I could just ask him randomly.
So her plan is to build up a rapport with him again and find out the goss. I really hope she can build something up with him and that if ever, this time, there will be progress.
Until I know I have a chance with him, I can't move on. If he's seeing someone, then okay at least I'll know where I stand.
I'll let you know if there's progress.
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19/08/2020
So today, I helped him out with a case.
One of the internal tools was not working for him so he asked for help. I was the first to reply so I told him to send me the details and I'll do it.
When I did it for him, he said 'Perfect thank you!' and I just replied, "No worries 😊" landi landi with that emoji 😂 Wish we kinda had a conversation going though 😭 Wish I asked him how he was but it wasn't appropriate okay 😂
Haaayy can't wait to find out if he's dating anyone or when I'll see him again so I can ask him out. HAAAAAYYYYSSSS.
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9/9/20
So yesterday, I asked our group chat for help on a case. I didn't really expect that he would be the one to respond but he did and that was cute. Awww. ❤️
Looool I wish I could've thanked him personally but other people started helping me out so yeah. But for a brief moment, I was kilig haha
Really wanna ask him out already! But cases are rising again and I don't want him to use Covid as an excuse so I'll wait again until cases have slowed down.
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13/09/20
So today, I had a video call with MF. She told me that she got a new job 😭 meaning, she won't be able to be my wingwoman now 😭
I am happy for her but this cuts down all my chances with Chad 😭
But she did talk to Chad and he applied to the SME role apparently, I think he may have already been interviewed but he didn't hear back from them yet.
MF also said that we should meet up for a coffee date "with Bianca" and he said we should hahaha cmon MF make this a reality please so I can talk to him 😭
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