#i need bernard to escalate until he wakes up aching one day and it's like he's gone back in time to the beginning of his cult days.
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well now that we know the cult is back, imma need some heavy bernard angst from the comic. the panic attacks, relapses into unhealthy behavior, pushing people away, imma need all of it.
#'but you're okay now?'#'some days.'#make that no days now bear#i need it to start off innocuously too. like he puts off a date or two claiming that he has homework. he's clumsier now. like he doesn't#care what's in front of him. he walks into a pole once and ends up with a huge bruise on his shoulder. bernard presses on it for weeks.#and then comes the 'it's just once. I'm not gonna do it again.' behavior. the purposeful pain. the dig his nails into his wrists until#it stings. the bandages on the inside of his thighs kinda pain.#the 'tim can never find out about this' type of unhealthy behavior.#i need bernard to escalate until he wakes up aching one day and it's like he's gone back in time to the beginning of his cult days.#i need him to look himself in the mirror one morning and realize that even if could stop hurting himself he's not going to.#i need him to start loitering around the old cult building knowing that it's wrong to wish they were still active but wanting it anyway.#i need him to go on several benders. so sorry but i think he has a fake id and definitely buys alcohol.#oh my god... wait wait wait!#i need him to go out one night after assuring tim that he's gonna go straight home and get kidnapped by the cult again.#oh my god he wakes up on the altar again. mouth filled filled with wine and his hands tied down and he-#he relaxes. because he was chosen the first time and now he been chosen again. he's still good. thank god thank god he's still good.#and the first time they chose him he was bad. struggled too much begged too hard to be let go. but he's better now.#they chose him. again. he won't fight it this time. he'll be good this time.#this is just your friendly reminder that#cult conditioning takes at /least/ 5 years to wear off. usually more.#my man bernard is gonna be having a Lot of bad days#anyway#bernard dowd#dc#td:r#timbern#ig
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