#i need more excuses to speak french y'all better start asking me to say shit

[vulpinesaint]

no actually you see it's a simple misconception. i'm not learning french to be fluent i'm learning it to impress pretty girls

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[the-starless-sky]

BAE x cozmez / “DESIRE” voice drama part 2

Part 1 | Part 2 (here!)

Names K: Yatonokami Kanata N: Yatonokami Nayuta S: Sugasano Allen F: Anne Faulkner Y: Yeon Hajun I: Suiseki Iori Mx: Mobs

Nothing much to say except Allen is an actual angel 🤗💕

S: I'm home.

F: How's it? Did you find your metal?

S: I didn't.

F: Sigh. Geez.

S: Don't tell me Kanata really took it...?

F: That's what I've been telling you! What's up with your trustfulness!?

S: You've seen their stage the other day, right!? Someone who could compose such a song wouldn't ever steal!

F: So you understood Kanata so much you can assert that?

S: No, I don't!

F: What the hell, seriously! Aah, geez! We're going!

S: Where to...!?

F: Of course to cozmez's house!

S: But we don't know their address-

F: I've found their approximates. Don't underestimate my connections.

S: Oh... you're amazing, Anne.

F: Stop your gratitude and start preparing! Who do you think I'm doing this for!?

S: Y-yeah...! What about Hajun?

F: He went out. "It has nothing to do with me", he said.

S: That's so like him...

F: Seriously. He's heartless. If something happens to Hajun, I'll never help him.

S: You think Hajun will ever ask for someone's help?

F: Haha. Don't think so.

S: Right?

***

F: What's with this smell...? This place's more awful than I thought...

S: Well... 'cause it's the slums.

F: It's no use complaining. Anyways, we have to find where they are.

M1: God damn it. So noisy...

F: Ah!

M2: What the hell? This ain't a place for sight-seeing. If you don't wanna get hurt, get out, now.

S: We're only looking for someone. We've no intention to bother you guys.

M1: You wake us up from our sleep - you're already bothering us.

M2: Yeah. Leave the nuisance money. All the cash you have on you, and that pretty big sis there.

F: If we said 'no'... what are you gonna do about it?

M: Of course we'd just steal them then.

S: This is bad...

F: Geez, it's because stupid Allen stupidly got his metal stolen that we're in this stupid situation! What are you gonna do now, stupid!?

S: Stop saying 'stupid'! 'Til when are you gonna be angry!?

F: Of course I'm still angry, stupid!

S: You said it again, huh!? Phantoms are, in the end, just some kind of production, right!? It'll be fine if we put our all in the main dish, the music!

F: Then, what? If the taste is good, you think it's okay to serve high class french food on paper plates!?

S: Y-yeah! The most important part is the good taste of the dish!

F: Stop screwing around! If there's no production, then we can't draw out the good quality of the main dish!

S: No, the main dish is the most important!

F: Production!

S: Main dish!

F: Production!

S: Main dish!

M1: Umm... uh...

S&F: What!?

M2: No... it's nothing...

F: Hey, wait, you all!

M1&M2: Y-yes!

F: What do you guys think?

M1&M2: Well... uhm... uh...

S: Which!?

M1: ...Oh, that's right, weren't you guys looking for someone? How's that going?

M2: That's right, what are you looking for?

F: Oh, come to think of it, yeah, we were doing that. What's up, are you guys gonna help us?

M1: Yeah... if you'd get out of here.

S: Oh... I see. We're looking for these twins... the ones in this picture.

***

K: Hey... Nayuta.

N: Hm?

K: Are you still angry?

N: Huh? No, I'm not angry.

(voices from outside)

S: It's here, right?

F: I don't know. Anyways, just go.

S: But, what if we got the wrong place?

N: Huh? What's up?

F: Geez, you're so irritating!

N: Is something up?

K: Ssh! It's BAE...! How did they locate us?

N: Haah!? What are we gonna do!?

F: I know that you're in there! Return the metal to us, fast!

S: Oi! I told you, we still don't know if they actually stole it!

F: Shut up! Allen, you do something too! It's your metal, isn't it!?

N: Hey, Kanata? Isn't it better to just give it back?

K: There's no way I can give them back obediently just because they told me to!

F: Then what do you think we should do!?

S: We could talk it out!

N: Seriously, Kanata...! Sigh.

K: Anyways, we'll talk after we lose them.

N: 'Kay, got it.

F: Oi! What if you answer us!? Geez!! Do you want us to barge in!?

S: Wai-! Please, come out!

K: You guys are still here? Beat it!

N: If you really want it back, here, we'll return it!

(Nayuta throws an empty can towards Anne)

F: What the hell's this...? Ain't it just an empty can!?

K: A phantometal's a waste in y'all's hands.

N: Bring that home and just play house~

K&N: See ya!

F: Those guys...!!

***

K: Haa... haa... if we go through this back street, they won't catch up to us.

N: Yeah. There's not even that much people from around here who knows this route.

Y: Heeh...? I'm surprised. Slums' rats are very big, aren't they?

K: W-who are you!?

Y: I wonder who? At the very least, I'm not on your side, that's for sure.

N: You... aren't you 48...!?

K: Shit...! Why are you here!?

Y: Allen and the others barged into your house. Of course, you'd try to lose them by going through complicated routes. If so, then the only places where you both will appear is here... or the other alleyway. There is a tall wall there. If you want to shake them off easily, then... it's a simple deduction.

K: So you ambushed us... you dirty bastard...!

Y: Could you please look at the mirror and say those words once again? In both meanings... no matter how I see it, you guys are the dirty ones.

K: Bastard...!

Y: I thought that our two members are sharper than that, too... Ah, speak of the devil. You guys are late. Was playing tag fun?

F: Hajun...! Why are you here...!?

S: You came to help us...!

Y: Help? Please sleep-talk after you go to sleep. I came here for the sake of the stage battle. Don't misunderstand.

F: Haha... seriously, you're not honest at all.

Y: Well then. I don't want to be in a place with such bad air. Let's finish our business now.

K: What?

Y: Hm? You can't understand if we don't say it?

K: You don't have proof that I stole the metal, do you?

Y: Haha, hahaha!

K: What's so funny!?

Y: I don't even need proof... why would someone who didn't take it feel the need to run away?

K: That's...!

Y: Stop making excuses. For speaking without thinking, you expose your faults way too fast. If you return it now, I won't press further. Even though I do believe I'm being too kind.

S: Don't tell me, you really...

N: Kanata...

K: Say it. What's wrong with that!?

Y: Oh?

K: To begin with, naive kids[1] like you guys have no right to stand on Paradox Live's stage.

N: People who've lived all their lives in lukewarm water, all fulfilled like you guys doing hip hop? Hah, don't make me laugh. Who'll nod to people with that kinda upbringing!?

Y: To steal phantometals from fakes like us... what an admirable way to fight!

K: I have something to protect... something to get hold of. It's a waste of time to duck it out with you guys-

Y: In short, you have no confidence, do you? You can't see an image of yourself winning against us fair and square... that's why you stole! What miserable way of thinking. Did you pile up your past achievements that way, too? Haha. I thought you were at least mediocre... but you're actually lower than rats.

N: You're wrong! There's no way that's true!

Y: I'm wrong? Hoo...

N: Kanata... the songs Kanata made are the best! Your make-believe songs are nothing! We took the metal just to teach that red hair the harshness of society, just as how we were done in by the likes of you...!

Y: That's just an excuse for yourself, isn't it? Kanata stole the metal because he wants an insurance. Why does he need an insurance? that's because he doesn't believe in you! Am I wrong?

K: That's not...!

Y: How pitiful... Kanata who doesn't have crews he could trust... and you, who weren't even trusted by your only sibling...

N: N-no...

K: Don't lecture us about siblings! You don't even know the feelings we held our microphones with up until now...! And you're telling us we don't believe in each other!? Stop messing around!!

F: T-there's no way we know anything about how you guys went by up until now!

K: We don't even know our parents' faces!! We were made a walking wallet by garbage adults, and got screwed over!!

Y: Even so, it doesn't excuse your act of stealing the metal.

K: We have to win...!! We were treated like trash, and the one thing that made people finally recognize us was hip hop...! I don't care about teams or titles! I'll win the Paradox Live, shut all of the people who've made fun of us, and raise up!

S: If so, then!! We're also the same!

K: There's no way you guys are the same...!! Don't talk rubbish!!

S: It might be true that we were brought up on different environment! But, we were also betrayed, thrown away, and finally arrived at hip hop!

K: The weight is different, red hair!!

S: It's no different!! Hip hop is equal! It has nothing to do with who composes it! Put the things that pained you... the things that that you don't want to face into your lyrics and make it your weapon! Express it to mow down the person you were up until now! There's no difference!

K: ...!!

S: That's how I... how we've been expressing ourselves up until now, right? Us... and you both...!

F: Allen...

N: K-Kanata...

K: ...

S: Even without my metal, I intended to fight with my music. But hearing the exchange earlier made me want to do it with phantoms, too. As the same hip hop heads, I want to fight cozmez head on. I want you guys to crash your whack sound[2], your feelings, all of it into us! We also want to do that to you guys.

K: T-that part of you is what I called naive! Is every rich guy's head filled with flower gardens[3] or something?

S: Kanata... this is my request to you. Please let me fight you as we both go all out, with the hip hop we each think is the best. Exactly because we're all people who can do nothing else but to hold our microphones... that's why, please.

K: ...

N: Sigh. Hey, isn't it time to let go already?

Y: What are you going to do now?

K: Shit!

(Kanata throws Allen's phantometal back to him)

S: Kanata...!

Y: My, my.

K: Bring it on. I'll fight you, SUZAKU. Prepare yourself 'cuz I'm gonna destroy that super irritating face on stage.

N: Well, you won't have any chances of winning against us without that metal, after all.

F: Why are thieves like you guys looking down on us like that!?

K: What? You have a problem?

F: Of course I do!

Y: Anne.

F: What!?

Y: We've finished our business. Let's go home. Unfortunately, I don't have a hobby of staying too long in a dumpster-like place. Oh, sorry! This is your residence, isn't it?

N: Hah. Then go home, now. Because when we see guys like you, we really can't help but to want to send you flyin'.

Y: Aah, scary, scary. Well then, shall we go?

K: We're going home too, Nayuta.

N: Sigh. Yeah.

S: Kanata!

K: Ha?

S: I can't wait to fight you on stage!

K: Shut up, go die.

S: Haha... see you!

F: Hey, we're gonna leave you!

S: Sorry, sorry!

***

F: Aah, seriously. I was worried about what'll happen for a second. To think that Allen's hip hop mania actually had an effect on Kanata...

Y: I really cannot handle Allen's idiocy anymore, though.

F: Seriously. Seems like he'll even die for hip hop.

S: I would - if it's after I take the top!

F: Haha. Ah, Allen. I think you forgot 'cause you're an idiot, but I'm gonna get you to give me your gratitude in full, okay?

Y: That's true. At the very least, we should get Allen to clean up the house for three months.

S: O-Oi, Hajun! Before, you said you came for the sake of the stage battle!

Y: It didn't change the fact that in the end, I helped you. Physical exhaustion, plus mental strain due to having to go to the slum... and...

S: I got it!! I just have to do it, right?

F: Yeah, yeah! You just have to do it. Anyways, I'm glad that we got the metal back~!

Y: That's true.

F: We're gonna go all out to defeat those two, 'kay? With our song, we'll beat them to a pulp.

S: Yeah. Let's fight with our full strength!

***

K: That bastard SUZAKU... he said he can't wait for it? Looking down on me like that...

N: Kanata.

K: What?

N: You look kinda refreshed.

K: Wh... what are you talking about? I'm so irritated I can't take it anymore.

N: Hmm... I see. Haha.

K: Ah, Nayuta, you laughed just now, didn't you!?

N: It's better this way, it's more like us!

K: Shut up. Sigh...

N: You don't have to do something like that. After all, it's us!

K: You're right.

N: Yeah, with our lyrics, our track, and our staging... let's win against them.

K: Nayuta.

N: Hmm?

K: Thank you.

N: Yeah.

K: BAE, wait for us.

N: On top of the stage...

K&N: We'll show you hell.

***

I: It all ended well, huh? Haha, even though I expected an interesting development...

Notes

[1] Ama-chan = naive, spoiled child.

[2] Whack = bad as in 'cool'. I think?

[3] As in, full of good things and optimism.

I-I’m glad that ends well. My love for shounen protagonist Allen keeps growing by day...!! 😚

[headoverhiddles]

Moonlit [Lafayette x Reader]

Pairing: Lafayette/Reader

Genre: Smut 

Words: 4.8 k

Synopsis: You’ve been working at summer camp, Camp Rochambeau, as a counsellor for a while with your closest friends and boyfriend. One night, you and Laf can’t keep your hands off each other... so you’ll have to find a way to sneak something in in the dark of his bunk.  

Warnings: Daddy kink, oral sex, fingering, dirty talk... I think that’s it, lol. Enjoy the sin! 

It's a day like any other at Camp Rochambeau, wilderness overnight summer fun camp. Alexander, John, and Hercules had just come back from the junior camping trip, Thomas and James were supposed to be teaching intermediate swimming, but you were pretty sure James was too sick to even come out of Cabin 6 (and Thomas was too worried to leave his side), Aaron and Charles were on first aid duty, Eliza and Maria were overseeing junior arts and crafts, Angelica and Pegs were doing intermediate archery, which left you and Laf... to the sailing.

"Good day for sailing, at least," you mumble, the breeze blowing your hair, "The lake'll get some good wind power."

"Mmm... I'm sorry, did you say something, ma chou?" Laf whispered, leaning in, "I was distracted by the little juncture of your jaw and your neck, where I always make you squeal." You let out a laugh.

"Lafayette Motier, you frisky fuck!"

He grins, and picks you up while showering a billion kisses over your face. You soon get to thinking about last night, when you two had sneaked out of your cabin once you were sure everyone was asleep to stargaze on the docks. The water bugs were out, as were the fireflies, and it was all so romantic... you half expected Hercules, John and Alex to pop out from the reeds to sing 'Kiss The Girl'. Laf, of course, needed no prompting in that department- he certainly delivered with his lips, as per usual. But, as Washington had a zero tolerance policy on horny teenage antics at his camp ("I've seen Friday the 13th and Sleepaway Camp, I know what y'all are up to behind my back!")  you hadn't gone anywhere with it last night. After an hour or so of simply cuddling beneath the stars, you had somehow gravitated to his lap with your back to his chest, his sweet voice whispering the most beautiful things you had ever heard in french in your ear... and, Laf being Laf, had two fingers up your skirt. You had come so close to the touch, almost tugging your panties down, when you two heard a splash across the lake. Fearing a total slasher flick moment, you had kept yourself huddled behind Laf, who had since put on the macho act and vowed to protect you. The two of you made your way through the forest (which was actually quite creepy at night), and over to the site of the splash... only to find three twelve year olds, peer-pressuring each other into skinny dipping.

Well.

"Off to bed with you!" Laf had barked, scaring the children senseless. You tried to appear angry, but just ended up laughing your head off. The disturbance of what has since been christened the Great Pre-Pubescent Foley Of Cabin 8 (John and Alex's cabin; figures) prevented you from finishing anything with Laf that night. Needless to say, you're looking to fix that.

"A little lost, cherie?" Laf smirks, and you direct your attention back to him as he sets you down. You had finally made it to the docks through the forest path, the warm mid-day sun shining over both of you pleasantly. There were three shores on the small lake, that were each used for different purposes; this one, had a beaten up sign that read "Delaware Beach."

"Hm? No, I was just thinking, babe," you reply swiftly with a smile and a quick peck to his lips. You remove your shirt to reveal the camp uniform over your red bikini, the beach shorts purposely loose so Laf could catch a glimpse of the string of your tiny bottoms pulled tight over your hipbones. His eyes roam your body, and stall at your breasts that are quite visible under the white shirt... that's when you know you'll have to formulate a real good excuse as to why you can't walk tomorrow.

"(y/n), (y/n)! Are we going to learn how to steer boats?" Theo, a cute junior kid who'd been coming here forever, asks you. You nod.

"You betcha, hun."

"Like Moana?!" Philip asks excitedly, bouncing around and almost falling off the dock. Lafayette steadies him.

"More like Hai-hai in your case, mon ami," he deadpans, and you quickly string up the sails.

"All aboard, lifejackets on and secured!"

The children get on the sailboat, and you make sure to bend over in full view of Lafayette's line of sight- he'd get the same view tonight, of course. You hear his breath hitch, but when you turn away, he reluctantly starts the lesson.

As you're sailing past the east shore of the lake, Vernon Point, you find Thomas and James making out in the water, their kids laying belly up and tanning on the dock.  

"I see you're taking the swimming lesson seriously," you smirk, and Thomas breaks away from his boyfriend's lips temporarily to snark back at you.

"A little sun'll do 'em all good... pasty little fuckers."

"I'm telling Director Washington you called us a bad word!" someone shrieks.

"Do it and die, Susanne," the southern counsellor shoots back to the little girl, which seems to promptly shut her up.

"And I see you're feeling better, James," you remark, and James turns around, lips swollen.

"Significantly," he croaks, and Thomas growls ferally, going back in for another kiss. You laugh and shake your head, floating past on the boat. Laf is still up there, giving the rope lesson... what you wouldn't give to have him tie you up with those same ropes, the harsh tug of the material against your raw, sensitive wrists-

"Would you like to take over, (y/n)?" Laf asks with a wiggle of his eyebrows, and you rip your eyes from his crotch. How did they get there in the first place? Shit.

"Oh! Y-yeah! Okay, so the knot is absolutely key, um... George Eacker, stop trying to knock Philip off the bow, you know he can't swim!"

The rest of the day is agony. Torture. Nothing you had ever asked for. Lafayette's rippling muscles are getting in the way of everything you try to formulate speech-wise, and you can see the outline of his dick beneath his uniform swim trunks... he's so fucking hung that even soft he's prevalent.

The warmth pooling between your legs is even more intense by the time the evening campfire comes around.

"Alright," Hercules says, resting his elbows on his knees as the glow of the fire illuminates his features, "What I'm about to tell you is so scary... so terrifying... so utterly shocking that you'll have to sleep with the lights on tonight! This is the story... of-"

"Jefferson's hair!" Alexander cuts in, wiggling his fingers around and making ghost noises. The campers seem to find this hilarious, but James and Thomas are not amused where they sit with their group.

"The story of the Woodsman," Hercules finishes properly.

"Isn't that the guy from the Wizard of Oz?" Philip whispers to Theo, who shook her head.

"No, that's the Tin Man."

"Are you sure we should really be telling them this story?" Aaron asks, knitting his brows, "It's a little... adult, don't you think?"

"Shut up, Burr," Laf calls, "You are the worst!" John joins in, heckling their friend as Alex laughs into his sugary mug of coffee. Aaron just sighs, throwing up his hands. He was probably the only good counsellor here, who took his job seriously. The children all huddle up and lean closer as Herc begins the story.

"It all started back in '84, when a dude named Jimbo Jones got into a wood-chopping accident..."

As you listen to one of your best friends tell the story in grave, (unnecessarily gory, as only Herc would) detail, you feel Lafayette shift on the log beside you. As Hercules continues to describe the deranged psychopath that stalks the woods of Camp Rochambeau for revenge, you suddenly feel Laf's hand brush the skin of your bare thigh, and wander a little higher. Thankfully, there's a giant blanket over you and a few other counsellors, so nobody can see... Judging by his ministrations, he's getting restless.

"And they say he can jump out of the woods at any time..." Herc looks around ominously, squinting at all the quivering kids, "Yelling his chilling last words-"

"SHOWTIME!" John yells with a maniacal laugh, jumping out from behind a tree swinging a prop axe right into Charles Lee’s head. Charles lets out a bloodcurdling scream, whipping around to glare at his fellow counsellor and mortal enemy. Philip faints into a shaking Theo's arms. Herc has his head in his hands, tears of laughter rolling down his cheeks- even Maria looks a little startled. Alexander high fives his boyfriend, and Laurens sits back down with a dumb grin on his face. Lafayette gives an appreciate chuckle and you both high five Herc. The group settles down.

"Alright- GWash wants y'all in bed in ten minutes!" Hercules calls, then pauses, looking around at everyone. "But we won't tell if you won't." The kids cheer, and you watch Aaron facepalm.

No wonder parents complained about this god damn camp.

"No more marshmallows though, everyone," you say, "That goes for everyone." Thomas stops dead from across the fire, three stuffed in his mouth. You roll your eyes, and Herc speaks up again.

"You know who tells great ghost stories?" he grins. "'Liza does."

Eliza flips her long hair over her shoulder, smiling. "Well... I do know one. But..." she sighs dramatically, peering off, "I don't think you kids can handle it."

"Awwww-!"

"No, no, it's just too scary."

"Nooo, please-!"

"Well..." she laughs, "If you insist. But Peggy'll have to help me, cause she knows this one- the Blue Baby Bonnet."

As two of the Schuyler sisters begin to act out the legend, you feel Laf's hand move even higher, barely grazing the sensitive spot on your inner thigh that gets you tingling. You let out a tiny moan, shifting ever so slightly. At this, he leans in, turning his face away to whisper in your ear, "Hmm, does ma princess need her daddy?"

You suck in a breath, maintaining your smile for appearances and the children around. You clap every time Eliza needs thunder in her story, but you're also invested in what the salacious frenchman beside you has to say.

"I assume you do... why else would ma cherie be so dripping wet?"

"Laf," you breathe quietly, and you feel his long fingers graze dangerously close to your panties, under your shorts. He evades the hem of the shorts, and goes straight for your clit, rubbing small circles through the fabric.

"Ahhh," you moan softly, and Eliza turns to you.

"Well... I mean, that's not exactly the noise her mother made when she came back to find what had happened, but close enough!" She goes on with her story as Lafayette leans in again.

"I wonder how hard I can make you beg for my thick, long cock... how badly do you want it?"

"I want it so badly," you mumble, his beard scratching your cheek as he hums again.

"What do you want, cherie?" His lips ghost over your ear, down to your jaw. You seriously hope no one's watching- it's dark, with lots of shadows cast from the fire, so you're probably good.

"I..." you bite your lip, "I wanna ride your thigh, then ride your dick. I want you to make me cum so hard the whole camp knows it's you who fucked me," you whisper back with a blush, and Lafayette casts his gaze down, chuckling at what might appear to others as a joke you told him.

"In due time," he promises, letting up on his rubbing, and you groan in disappointment. John looks over to you, and sees your face... he knows what it's like to have lots of semi-public sex, courtesy of his kinky shithead of a boyfriend, so he can immediately tell what's going on. He stifles a laugh, and James speaks up now.

"Bedtime, everyone."

"But-!"

Thomas interjects. "Nah, y'all little shhh...oelaces gotta get into bed, so we can too," he corrects himself quickly. James sighs.

"Yes. Remember- wakeup call is seven AM sharp, and Washington makes no exceptions."

"Takes no prisoners, more like," Angelica yawns.

"He sure as hell doesn't," Alexander mutters, "Not even for us big people."

"Oui oui, off to bed," Laf says, clapping his hands, almost a little too eagerly, and you join in with a little send-off.

"Sleep tight- we'll all be in to check on our cabins once we get the fire doused and the pit cleaned up, so brush your teeth and get going." The kids get up sluggishly, moaning and groaning about having to go to bed, so you cross your arms. "Do you really want the real Jimbo Jones to get you?!"

The kids quickly disperse, chatting nervously amongst themselves about the plausibility of the legends they had just been told. Lafayette smirks your way, and you literally cannot even wait until you're off your feet, in his arms, and in his bed. Heading back to the cabin you're supposed to share with Peggy (you switch with Herc whenever she wants to sleep with her boyfriend and you want to sleep with yours), you grab your night stuff, and oversee the bedtime preparations for the kids.

"What's Laffy Taffy doing here?" one of your cabin kids asks you. It's kind of cute how they call him that.

"He's just saying good night to me," you smile, tucking her in.

"Ohhh," she looks over to her friend knowingly, "Does this mean Hercules is coming over to be our monitor again?"

"Uhhh..." you murmur, unsure of how much she knows.

"My mommy says when people like each other a whole lot, they like to hug all night when they go to bed. Is that what you're doing with Laffy Taffy?"

"That is exactly what we are doing, ma petite fleur," Laf comes in behind you with a little boy hanging off his leg, "I love to hug (y/n), more than the world. Do you have anybody you like to hug a whole lot?" You can't contain the smile- your boyfriend is adorable.

"Well, I like to hug my mommy, my mama, my grandpa, my granny, my friend Jessica, my uncle, my dog, my cat, my hamster..." she trailed off, yawning and falling asleep. You look back at Laf.

"Thank god you know how to do that." He flashes you a kiss.

"I have many tiny cousins back in France." He then turns out the light once everyone's in bed. As you're leaving Cabin 10, Herc shows up at the porch, fist bumping you and Laf with a wink.

"Don't be too loud, though," he warns, "Wash's got eyes and ears everywhere."

"Merci. We will keep that in mind, mon ami."

Herc nods. "Got you, fam."

Glancing around conspiratorially and fixing his coat, Herc slips into your cabin to find Peggy in the dark. You giggle, and Laf leads you down the beaten path, illuminated by a plastic battery-run torch kept outside every cabin in case of emergency. Your favourite part of summertime at Rochambeau, while you love being around the kids and the fun outdoor activities, is the shenanigans you get up to after hours. There's nothing more thrilling than sneaking through the brush in the middle of the wilderness to go get down.

When you finally make it to Cabin 4, you sneak in quietly with Laf, making sure not to step on a board or anything that would wake the kids. Thankfully, the bunk for the counsellors in every cabin is placed in the main entrance, so the three rooms that house the rest of the inhabitants aren't immediately near.

Laf takes your hand, easing you on top of him on the bottom bunk.

"Shouldn't we do this on the top?" you breathe, his hands already hurriedly undoing your bra, "In case someone walks in on us?"

"Ma cherie, if we fucked up there, we would break it," he whispers back with a low chuckle, and you laugh, beginning to massage him through his shorts. He responds with wandering hands, feeling down your shoulders and to your hips. Your bra slips out from under your shirt, but before you take your top off, you think of something.

"I'll keep it on, just in case," you murmur, and though Laf looks a little disappointed, he nods. You smirk. "Don't fret, baby... you can still touch me all you want." Lafayette eyes you hungrily, as if he wants to devour you, and you lean down into him, letting his lips latch onto your neck. He groans, admiring the deep purple mark he left on your collarbone.

"How are you going to cover that up tomorrow, mmm?"

"Lots of concealer and an out of season scarf," you grin, and push him down, taking his bottom lip between your teeth. After making out for a few minutes, you start feeling so hot you can barely breathe. Lafayette is dry humping you from beneath, his cock, which has filled out nicely by now, slotted between your legs and providing some stunning friction to bounce back against. But you don't just want to grind against him- you need him inside you.

"You've been such a good girl for me, hm?" Lafayette mumbles affectionately, playing with your hair, "Such a good kitten for daddy."

"Yeah, I've been good," you repeat, letting out a little whine. You want to taste his dick so bad that you begin to mouth kisses down his chest, to his stomach, down to where his penis is restricted tightly against his abdomen in boxers.

"Ahhh, tres jolie," he whispers, watching you slide down, and his eyebrows shoot up when he sees you going down on him.

"I want to taste you for hours," you grin back up, "I wanna watch your face when I take you in my mouth and put these lips to good use." Laf groans.

"(y/n), what you do to me..."

"Try not to moan too loud," you smile, and throw the covers over your head as you settle between your boyfriend's legs. You then take him out of his boxers, feeling the heavy weight of his erection in your hand before giving a tiny lick to his tip. His head falls back into the pillow, a sharp puff of air escaping his lips, and he lets his thigh slide between your legs, so you can ride it. Slowly dragging yourself against him and humming, you continue to take him in your mouth, this time all the way down to the base where a few dark curls tickle your nose. Laf's own nose scrunches up as he pants your name softly.

"So thick," you comment, "You've got such a nice cock, Laf... mmmm...." Closing your mouth back around him, you hollow out your cheeks, taking time to trace your tongue along every vein and unique dip on the underside. A few more minutes of this, the quiet slurping noises under the sheets and bounce of your wet panties against his knee arousing you both, Laf grimaces, rubbing a soothing hand down your head.

"Ma chou, I... ahhh am so close... I do not want to leave you unsatisfied."

Suddenly, you both hear a very small voice emerge from one of the rooms, and see a little kid come over.

"Laf? Herc?" they ask meekly. You stall your movements, hoping the kid can't see the lump under the sheets in the dark. Lafayette swallows, closes his eyes, fakes rousing awake, and smiles warmly.

"Andrew," he says, yawning, "Hercules has gone to get some tea from the mess hall. Are you alright?"

You listen in as the kid explains that he misses his family, and that he is homesick. As Laf is formulating an answer and relaying it to the child, you take him all the way in again, feeling him hit the back of your throat.

"Yesss, I completely understand," Laf tries, biting his lip hard, "H-Have you tried thinking of what they are doing now? Perhaps your mere or pere are sleeping... perhaps they are watching a film?"

Andrew smiles, and from where you are, you hope he doesn't want to go home. That would require Laf getting up and taking him all the way to the nurse's office at the other side of the camp, which poor Martha ran 24/7, to call home.

"Are you alright then, petit ami?" Laf asks, and he has to suppress a moan as you lick him obscenely. After a minute, Andrew answers.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go back to bed. Thanks."

You both exhale a sigh of relief, then Laf waves to the kid as he toddles back to bed.

"That was close," you hiss as Laf pulls the blanket up. He gives you a stern look, and you giggle a little, letting him pull you back up to him.

"I was going to come all over your face without warning," Lafayette whispers to you with a growl, "What a surprise that would have been, non?"

You grin wickedly. "Not an unwelcome one." You continue to giggle, surging forward to capture his lips in a kiss. Laf's head falls back to the pillow so that your body is completely resting on his. His hands find the back of your head, threading through your hair and whispering his intentions to you.

"I am going to fuck you until you cannot move," he growls, soft, innocent personality momentarily broken, "I am going to make you come so hard you will scream my name and wake the whole camp."

"Get down to doing," you whisper back, and roll your hips down against him.

"You are wearing too much, ma cherie," he hisses, and flips you over, making you squeal. He kisses your neck again, pulling your panties down. Tossing them completely off, he brings his fingers to rest on your inner thigh, teasing the soft skin there with little tickling circles. Shivers run up to your core, and you groan quietly, wiggling your hips to try and get him to touch you properly. He smiles, and patters his fingers even closer.

"Is... this what you want, ma fleur?" he asks, eyes wide and innocent. You nod feverishly, and he barely grazes your clit with his thumb. "Oh, this? Are you quite certain?" You glare down at him, and he laughs. "Excuse moi... I think I do, in fact, know what you need." With little warning, he slides two fingers into your pussy, curving them up and eliciting a soft, breathy sigh from you.

"Laf..." you gasp, "Lafayette..."

"Could you come on two of my fingers alone, ma cherie? I bet you could if we tried very hard..."

"Laf, please," you encourage, and he chuckles again, adding a third. You let out a string of not-so-hushed moans, light and airy, and though Lafayette is adjusting himself so that his boner gets a little friction, you marvel at his self control. He was always a gentleman in the bedroom, though- almost disregarding his own strong sex drive for your pleasure first. When you're sure you're going to come, he pulls out his fingers, leaving your chest heaving and fists clenching in the blanket. You look down in disappointment, and all you can see in the dark is his frizzy bun by your stomach.

"Laf!"

"Shhh... we don't want to wake the Woodsman, do we?" he teases, and you swat him as he finally tosses one leg over you. Spreading your legs for him and wrapping them around, you reach under the mattress and feel around for the stash of condoms... pulling one out, you pass it to Laf, and he rolls it on, the crinkle of the foil plus the crickets outside the only sound you can hear for miles. Laf tries to prop your leg up higher and spread himself out a little, but ends up half-slipping off the bed... you have to stifle a laugh at his disconcerted little frown; you always have problems with this- the beds were cramped, mostly because they weren't made for two. George's horny teenage proof cots strike again.

"There, I have figured it out," Laf whispers triumphantly, "If you put your right leg over my shoulder, and I keep my left leg down at the foot of the bed, we can do this." You do as he says, and he slowly eases himself inside of you, the slide easy with how wet you already are. His girth increases as he buries himself further, stretching your walls, and it feels so fucking good you feel you could come on his cock right there.

"Move, ahh, daddy, please," you murmur, taking in a sharp breath, and he draws out, pushing back in even deeper. Lafayette continues to thrust in and out of you, carefully and masterfully rubbing circles around your clit, and you trace patterns down his naked, muscular back.

"Dig them in," Laf whispers in your ear, "Go ahead and mark your daddy, (y/n), ma chou, for I am yours." You cry out softly, scraping your nails up his back, and Laf groans at the stimulation, quickening his thrusts. After a few seconds of moaning, he begins to really pound into you, babbling in french as you squeeze around him and arch your back into his arms. Adding to the already amazing mix of sensations, his hard chest is pressed tightly against yours, massaging your breasts between the two of you and sending sparks of pleasure down to your core.

Suddenly, his foot slips, and it lands on the floor off the bed, but that only spurs him on faster, using his footing for more power and leverage. Driving into you like you need it more than air, Laf whispers all the things he's feeling to you as your breath comes out in short, gasped out puffs.

"Je veux te donner tout mon sperme... tu es à moi, mon amour, tu es la plus belle créature vivante que j'ai jamais vue, j'ai besoin de t'entendre gémir pour moi..." (I want to give you all of my cum... you are mine, my love, you are the most beautiful living creature I have ever seen, I need to hear you moan for me...)

"Laf," you shudder, and he bites down into your shoulder as you come hard around him. He makes sure you have hit your climax before releasing himself, his warm seed shooting into the condom. His body shivers with oversensitivity and exhaustion, the muscles in his arms keeping him up threatening to give out. You ease him down over you so that his head is buried in your neck, and your breath steadies as he makes little noises that resemble a cat. You turn over in preparation for some rest- you had to sleep, as you had to wake up fifteen minutes earlier than the others to switch back beds. You smile, patting his head, and he kisses your earlobe.

"Je t’aime," he murmurs sleepily, tugging off the condom and tying it off blindly. You breathe in the scent of french lavender in his curls as his big arms wrap back around you.

"Je t’aime plus que le monde," you mumble in reply, kissing him on the lips one last time.

-------

The next morning at 7:30 AM in the Mess, Washington looks utterly fatigued.

"What's wrong, sir?" Alex asks, walking by with a monstrous coffee mug, "You look like somebody just ran you over with a double decker tank."

George blinks at him, sighing. "I appreciate that, Alexander."

"Nah, but you do look a little loopy," John tilts his head, throwing one leg over the bench seat, "You good, sir?"

"I was up very late last night, John- some animal near the lower cabins was making a racket. I tried to go out and search for it in the forest, so I could shoo it away, but..." He rubs his temples. "It just kept going."

Lafayette plops down beside you, peeling the lids off the six tapioca pudding cups he had nabbed from the kitchen. "Mon general," he nods, because that's a name that just kind of stuck for George since you had been coming here.

"Lafayette," he nods, "Did you happen to hear the strange creature lurking around your cabin last night?" You pause, and Laf's eyes widen earnestly, reply not skipping a beat.  

"Oh, monsieur, I'm afraid I did not... but I think I did hear an awful disturbance around Cabin 6. Thomas?" he smirks at his close friend, and Thomas and James blush furiously.

"We didn't-"

"There wasn't-"

"I didn't hear any-"

"Well," George nods, "I'll sure have to keep my attention on that cabin. Don't want any of those raccoons."

"No we don't," Thomas grits out at you two, and you and your boyfriend collapse into giggles as George gives you a knowing look- nothing gets past that man.