#valentine notes

[vulpinesaint]

never gonna be over the vampires showing up and going “hi we are regular normal people!! let us sing you a regular normal people song about eating somebody :)” guys come on now. we could at least try and be subtle

[vulpinesaint]

the thing about writing about religious themes and experiences is that you will write about that feeling of inescapable wrongness and people in workshops will ask you well what does this speaker think they've done wrong. what is the sin that the narrator's so caught up on. what does it mean to them when they say they're bad. what have they done that makes them feel so irredeemable. and it feels kind of like running face-first into a brick wall over and over trying to communicate without outright saying it that sometimes there is nothing specific to be guilty over. sometimes it's not an act. sometimes it's existence. sometimes it's not a fact about you. sometimes it's the way that the world around you constantly presses the idea into your head that you are a creature made up of something unclean so that when you consider what about you is sinful the answer is just everything. like i don't have time to explain that in every poem man

[vulpinesaint]

oh no gender for me thanks i just wanted to be in this convoluted social construction with you

[vulpinesaint]

hey so when does a poem start feeling like an art piece and not a raw wound

[vulpinesaint]

working on a new quiz. btw :)

[vulpinesaint]

life isn’t about being popular or having tons of friends. life is about finding those people who you can wordlessly show an image of someone covered in blood and have them go “yeah awesome”

[vulpinesaint]

genuinely i do think aromanticism gives me shrimp emotions. i don't experience love in a way that is fundamentally the same as most people but i am effortlessly recognizing and experiencing the secret third thing and all the hundreds of secret things after that

[vulpinesaint]

they hate me for being a gorgeous man with naturally long eyelashes and delicate features. transgender is just a word they use to keep beautiful boys down

[vulpinesaint]

i really want to make a uquiz so i am freeing myself to make a uquiz where the answers don't have to mean anything at all. and then accidentally making half the answers mean something anyway

[vulpinesaint]

skipped the catholic guilt around sex by being ace and skipped the catholic guilt around being gay by being aro so instead i have to invent new and oblique things to feel guilty about all the time. nobody talks about how much effort it takes to feel properly condemned in this situation

[vulpinesaint]

spike btvs is truly a success story. anyone can be a loser poet and then grow up to bleach their hair platinum blonde and wear leather jackets and be cool. and still be a loser

[vulpinesaint]

at least i have the poem freaks on tumblr dot com

[vulpinesaint]

"are you aromantic" quiz but no matter what you choose the answer is always yes

[vulpinesaint]

i bring a sort of "i'm not trapped in here with you, you're trapped in here with me" vibe to the uquiz that people actually tend to like but in an emotionally devastated kind of way

[vulpinesaint]

y’know for a cis person you’re actually pretty hot. yeah like almost trans-passing. almost. don’t worry though i’m sure you’ll get there eventually :D

[vulpinesaint]

not putting my whole face on here rn i am being so strong about it. but. tattoo!!! :)