#i need msp ep 10 to heal me

[jaehwany]

Which uni are you choosing? Bangkok or here? I… haven’t decided yet.

Fourth Nattawat as Li Ming MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (2023) dir. Backaof Noppharnach

[mommyzhilla]

Bad Buddy and its aftereffects

Disclaimer: this is just going to be a word vomit. Something I had been meaning to do since ages but being down with flu finally gave me the time and mindspace to do it.

My first tryst with Thai BLs started with Love By Chance and I tried.. I really tried.. but the script.. the acting were just not clicking with me.

Then came the wave of 2gether the series and that was much better.. I was at least able to complete watching the first season even though I didnt get the hype around it.. It was my second time giving up..

My third effort was ITSAY and gosh what a show that was.. I was recommending it to anyone who would listen to me gush about Billkin and PP and the director. The show was heavy on my heart.. I needed to brace myself every time I wanted to rewatch it.. I guess I have rewatched it 3 or 4 times in all these years.. It just is that emotionally heavy show for me.

But the music.. Gosh the music.. the songs.. Billkin's voice.. When I tell u Skyline and untold answer were on repeat.. Specially untold answer.. I still listen to it..

Despite my love for ITSAY and my tolerance for IPYTM.. I again took a break from Thai BLs.. and BLs in general..

Throwback to exactly 1 year back.. When I rediscovered thai BLs... let me be specific.. I discovered Bad Buddy..

My first watch.. awesome.. loved it.. listened to the songs a bit..

my bestie then suggested me Not me.. kinnporsche.. eclipse.. liked them all.. and I thought thats it..

But then I rewatched Bad Buddy.. and rewatched it the next time.. and the next.. I was literally rewatching those 12 episodes almost till April and May of this year.. for almost 6 months.. I didnt consume bad buddy.. bad buddy consumed me..

I was watching MSP and never let me go and other BLs too.. but an episode of bad buddy everyday became a need.. and this perplexed me.. I kept on having conversations with my bestie about my obsession with Bad Buddy. This level of obsession.. where I was crying listening to the BGM.. crying over a 3 min trailer.. after watching the show multiple times.. had never happened to me ever..

And apart from all this.. bad buddy was responsible for a couple of firsts for me.. first time joined tumblr.. for bad buddy.. explored ao3 and read way too many pat pran fanfics.. and also made me explore Thai music.. and my spotify wrapped is the proof.. its full of thai songs.. Bad buddy instrumental BGM.. is in my top songs..

I guess the obsession was a consequence of my failed past relationship.. which finally ended right around the time I discovered Bad buddy.. where things were very similar.. I used to call him soulmate.. but family issues made us break up after 10 yrs.. Every time I rewatch ep 11.. where Pat says to Pran that you dont leave me and fight alongside me.. I cry buckets over this one scene.. coz I didnt have anyone to fight alongside me.. may be its that.. may be it was the characters.. may be it was the magic created by p'aof.. but somewhere.. something struck such a cord that the show still has the ability to bring out emotions that I didn't know existed.. I always describe it as emotions bubbling and trying hard to break the wall and spill all over.. thats what I feel.. and sometimes they spill over.. and m left a crying mess.. No other show has made me feel this way.. No other form of media has made me feel this way.

Is the obsession still there? Not as much.. I still love a good patpran fanfic.. My top song is Just friends by Nanon which I listen to this day.. I still cry over the instrumental BGM.. But I no longer have to watch bad buddy every single day..

I dont know how much bad buddy has helped me overcome my past.. but I know its still a safe space I can visit when things get tough.. Funny how a random piece of media can have such an important share in your life.. A random show on the internet can heal you more than the living people around you.

Now that I have talked about it so much.. I may as well watch ep 6 (3/4).. fyi.. that beach scene is my fav..

P.S.. I know there would be typos and errors but I am not going to read it all back else I will not have the courage to post this.

[wolfwhiteflowers]

Carol’s s10 360′

So I try to see the full picture of Carol’s arc and what the writers are thinking of her in s10. Something I think or what I hope for s10 and Carol.... 

*TWD Spoilers on ep 9 and 10, filming spoilers.

From the spoilers for ep 9. Yeah it’s once again angst and Carol in tough spot again. She’s always in a dark place or gets in a rough time ..since s4. 

The thing is I think s10 is .. Carol’s season. There’s a lot of focus on her than usual. It’s about Carol. Grieving mother vs Alpha. There’s a lot of Caryl moments too. I always think Carol is like comic-Michonne or have a lot of plots adapted to her. Comic Michonne was also in the “misery arc” for a long looooong time.  And Comic Michonne around Whisper War or after, she found peace by finding her long lost daughter. So I think Carol will find peace or happiness soon. I think that’s what the writers are gonna do. 

Carol is on this revenge path/ angsty arc (which always have the fans be upset, quit, and worry etc.). And what I’ve seen in this angsty arc - 360 degree arc..is that a character goes extreme: angry, and a bit OOC (180 degree)..BUT comes around in the end (360 degree/full circle) of the arc, redeemed, finding peace, or stronger than before. Still in-character. (If it’s still OOC, don’t understand character’s voice, and u don’t trust writers then it’s something else..character turn evil/for plot. I would quit there.), Carol is on the revenge path because she lost her son, Henry. Carol is still not over it and is grieving a lot. She also feels revengeful ..wanting to kill Alpha. She’s very reckless and just doesn’t think of the future or her life. 

What I noticed in ep 3, Carol was in the school building and found the book and saw/imagine all the dead kids she lost on the book cover. It wasn’t just Henry. I’m hoping that means the writers are bringing it all this “misery arc” together and to end it. I wonder if Carol is also feeling sad about how she can’t raise a kid to live and thinks she’s a bad mother. I hope writers really dig deeper on this and have resolution for Carol.

So in 10A Carol is being reckless and so focused on killing Alpha and not focusing on protecting/caring her TF. Then msf and msp/middle of the season, I believe the arc/writing changed. It’s showing Carol’s breaking point. (overdone too..like two episodes telling us, and group/C&M trapped in the cave and dynamite twice. Like ok we get it.) And that Carol is not being trashed out and being robotic. Carol is hearing them, worries, cries, feels guilty. She’s slowly breaking. That to me is still in character. Blame her, ok ...so what. Carol was still in character and it’s was accidental/plots leading to something else. Carol didn’t purposely try to kill her TF.

 So, in ep 9 when Daryl doesn’t comfort her because he’s busy or he’s furious at her(-I’m not sure exactly how his scene goes.) This is, I think, Carol is at that point, breaking down because I think she realizes what she had been doing isn’t good or not working. She’s losing Daryl/TF. It’s either killing Alpha or losing TF. She needs to choose Future instead of Revenge. And all this is in the middle of the season which means there’s all the rest of 10B for Carol to turn around. I speculate that in the end, Carol doesn’t kill Alpha and might not even care about it when Alpha’s dead then. Or like Carol learns that killing Alpha doesn’t heal Carol’s pain. 

I think the scene of Carol and Zeke in the promo is them talking about Zeke’s cancer and Henry. I don’t think it would be about getting back together because there’s no plots leading up to it and no spoilers of them being together. So no romance. But what was leading up to was them needing to talk. I think that would be one of good things Carol needs to do to “redeem” and let go of the revenge on Alpha. Carol hearing about Zeke’s cancer would probably make Carol realize like there’s more life and danger out there than Alpha. I also really hope they talk about Henry. It would reference back to ep 3 and her losing kids. She may finally grieve the right way of losing Henry & kids.

So, with what I think about Carol and Zeke’s conversation will go, it makes me think Carol will come around in the end of the season. And others spoilers we found is that Carol will be around Daryl and Lydia. It’ll be okay. I think and hope Carol will be done with that losing kids/misery arc since s4.