#i need people to draw clive like the loser he is

[dizzykitteh]

[lil-minkurs]

Kafka CHARACTER SHEET

Basic Statistics

Name: Kafka Nikolas Ivanovich Nickname:  Kaffy (by Vera), Nikolas (by Clive), Shorty, Stump (Both by Luljeta), Termite infested moron, Bug for brains (Both by Vadim) Meaning of name: It is Czechoslovakian for Bird. Origin of name:  Vera had given him the name, it was at the time when she was obsessed with bird watching and rather liked how it sounded. Kafka often complains about it, as he loathes being named after creatures who do nothing but fly around, scream, eat and shit.

Age: Unknown (Though the organs that Clive had stolen for Vera are those of little boys, ages from 10 to 12, to older adult men. With the way his speech patterns are and how he speaks, you would think he is a 40-year-old man.)

Sex: Male

Nationality: Czechoslovakian (Though technically he has NO nationality, the organs that are inside of him are.)

Species: Ghost. Most specifically A trapped/hungry ghost.

Political Party: Anarchism (More specifically, Anarchist Communism. Anarchist communism is a form of anarchism that advocates the abolition of the State and capitalism in favour of a horizontal network of voluntary associations through which everyone will be free to satisfy his or her needs.)

Birth date:  1894 Birth place: Russia (Though his parts are Czechoslovakian)

Current residence: Vladimirovich Castle Describe their dwelling/house: At the moment, unfortunately, I do not have proper blue prints for the Castle, as I want to fully draw it before I describe it as that kind of detail would take several days maybe even a week or two for full detail as I want to make it as authentic as possible.

Occupation: Henchman (Though he would prefer to be called the boss.)

Hobbies/Pastimes: Playing board-games with Vera (But he is a sore loser), Bowling, Casino gambling, Collecting swords, Collecting Antiques, Collecting Music Albums, Darts, Gun collecting, Hunting, Illusion, Lawn darts, Owning an antique car, Roleplaying (More or less for sexual fantasies). Talents: He can perform magic tricks, Being thorough, Checking for accuracy, Collecting Items, Collaborating ideas.

Powers:  Semi-Immortality, Ectoplasm Manipulation, Fear Inducement, Flight, Intangibility, Possession, Telekinesis, Telepathy, Self-Sustenance, Corpse possession.

Family: (Putting them with the title of 'family' is a bit exaggerated. As Kafka just see's them the same way that Vera does, Business partners.)

Vera-His creator. Though he does not see her as a 'Mother' despite her creating him, he see's her more or less as a Mistress. He fears and respects her, not enough to NOT spat with her once and a while, but enough to back down with a simple death glare from the girl.

Clive-He see's Clive as a Mentor of sorts, though he treats him as a servant like Vera does, Clive does not take his bullshit from him at all, as Kafka is not his Master. Despite seeing Clive as a Mentor, Kafka still disobeys and argue's with him.

Past History

Hometown: Karlovy Vary.

First Memory:  Kafka's very first memory was when he was alive when he had his virginity taken away by the Prostitute. Though it is not one of his fondest memories, it is the one that continues to replay inside his head quite often.

Other memories/events that still affects him/her and why/how: Kafka remembers quite a bit from his time when he was still living. He remembers going on bank robberies, he remembers drinking beer with his buddies until he had gotten shit faced. He remembers picking up girls and beating them if they disobeyed anything he asked of them. He remembers escaping prison with his inmates and killing anyone who tried to stand in his way. He remembers pulling off fantastic schemes in order to get what he wanted or just for his own personal gain, regardless if it hurt or did harm to anyone else. Setting fire to an orphanage because he disliked the annoying laughter of some of the children who were able to play for a bit outside.

Past failures s/he would be embarrassed to have people know about and why: When Clive and Kafka had to run an errand for Vera, as they had to travel to Paris, France, to steal one of the skulls from the catacombs, as Vera love's to collect odd and creepy valuables.  Kafka was the one to remember what to grab it but had forgotten halfway through when trying to pick up French school girls. Leaving Clive to muddle his way through the catacombs, while dragging a desperate as well as horny, Kafka under his arm. Waiting to see if anything would come back to him.

When Kafka was left watching the castle while Vera and Clive were roaming the forest during one of Vera's various walks around the area. Vera usually is always accompanied by Clive in any situation she takes place in or is apart of, or in simple things such as walks or discussing business with her allies/enemies. But, unfortunately, Kafka, having a weakness for pretty faces, and even weaker limbs for pretty, with a sexy voice & vivacious hips, had let in Vera's former enemies, Vadim and Luljeta. Well, mostly Luljeta, as she was sent to distract Kafka while Vadim had let himself in after when Kafka had shut the door, while the surly man was behind it. Vera and Clive had come back to see Kafka being held upside down, by his ankles by Vadim, while Luljeta was trailing her fingertips along the beautifully painted walls. It was then that Vera had made a business deal with them.

There are a ton more that Kafka has screwed up on, it is in an entire list that Vera has written, and pulls out whenever Kafka contradicts himself.

Favorite parent(Let's say 'Business Partner' For this): I would have to say, Luljeta Why? : He has a thing for strong Women. (More described in the Relationship part)

Biggest role model: Himself Why?: Kafka would rather look up to someone who he knows won't be a complete disappointment. One who can count on and expect good expectations from. (Hypocritical, seeing as half the time his temper get's in the way of his work, as he makes brash decisions upon it.)

Backstory:(I will not go into full detail, but I will write the basics. As most of his past has been explained in the bio.)  Kafka was born in the Czech Republic, in Karlovy Vary, in 1799. Born into a poor family, with his Mother being the town wino as well as the town "bicycle", as well as his Father being a severe drug addict (Heavy with Cocain as well as Paregoric, an excellent pain reliever.) While nothing is known about his family background (As most of the towns humiliations began with the Ivanovitch's and ultimately their end was a blessing.) Kafka grew up without an education but was filled with many street smarts as he was taught about dealing not only other drugs but also how to exchange weapons for money. As he grew up in a household that often kicked him to the curb, Kafka spent most of his time out on the streets with people he barely knew. And stealing his own meals was something he had come accustomed too. When his birthday had begun, he was officially kicked out of his house and swore that he would slaughter his parents. But time and the environment that they were stuck in, had done that for him as his household was a hovel. A complete desolate wasteland of bugs, vermin, and anything that could move its way into the house. His parents had died of many diseases. Such as Malaria, cocain overdose and Chlamydia. After his escapades during his birthday (When he had murderously killed a prostitute) his life had changed. Kafka had taken on a whole new persona and a whole new view of life and how to treat it.  When he died after being bludgeoned to death by one of his "buddies" Kafka's soul was transferred into Vera's dummy, where he serves as a Hungry Ghost.

Physical Characteristics

Height:  3,3 Weight:  10 pounds Posture:  Slouched when pretending to be immobile, but other wise pretty straight, except when pouty, or angry. Build:  (I understand that you mean the actual build like of a person. But let's do the actual build and material for a Dummy.) Since Kafka's organs consist of actual human remains, most of the insides of him as well as his head consists of real organs (What is keeping them together is the spirit that dwells inside of Kaffy.) Sculpt a ventriloquist dummy head out of clay. Create moulds that capture every essence of your sculpture. Cast the ventriloquist dummy’s head and check the quality. Cut out and build a moving mouth. Explain exactly how the mouth pivot point is determined. Take a perfectly preserved brain and slowly cut open the top of the head. Placing the brain in, attach the many of the Brainstems. The Brainstem is the posterior of the brain, adjoining and structurally continuous with the spinal cord. Build self-centring, moving eyes for your ventriloquist figure. Build a wooden ventriloquist figure body. One the body is built, take the perfectly preserved organs and begin to place them in one by one and attach them to the walls of the body, making sure to surgically connect each, so that they work as if in a living human body. Sew and attach arms and legs. Paint the ventriloquist figure to bring it to life. Use a Dark spell to bring Dummy to life, make sure to choose the right spirit to enter your new friend. Skin: Chipped, burlywood coloured skin tone. Hair: Rust red hair Ears: Carved to be small and rounded. Eyes: Sunken slate coloured eye's, with dark taupe underneath of them. Nose:  He has a long hawk shaped nose, with a dramatic curve and prominent bridge. Mouth: Thin and pale Describe their smile: He has an Asymmetrical smile, a rather arrogant one as he makes it quite often. (Not only because of how his mouth was carved but because his amusement is at time's fake.) But mostly his expression is that of a wide toothy grin. Hands: Small, short-fingered Feet: Small, about size three Left/Right handed: Left Handed. Distinguishing features: The screws that hold together all the parts of his hand and on his body, and how real his hair actually looks.

How does s/he dress: Kafka mainly dresses in men's clothing from the 1940's, most specifically Gangster type of clothing that suites his style.  Fishtail trousers and River Waistcoat, Pinstripe, Straw fedora hats, Homburg hats, Gabardine Jacket, Stacy Adams Dayton-Wingtip shoes, Mens black wide leg trousers, Zoot suit, Keds sneakers 1940's, Vintage WWII American red cross HBT bag, Shearling lined Sherpa work vest 1940's, Double breasted Suit-Pinstripe, 1940's Riding pants Salt and Pepper breeches jodhpurs. Other accessories: Bow tie, Mens vintage 1940's narrow necktie, vintage 1940's belt buckle

Weapons: A Beeman/Krico 340SMA "Super Silhouette", KG 9/99 (His favourite), .54 cal pistol, Weatherby Mark V magnum. Are they generally balanced or clumsy? : Kafka is slightly clumsy at times. Due to his short stature and the fact that he is still a bit new to the body he has, it sometimes get's a little much for him to keep his composure when he is trying to complete tasks that Vera has set out for him to do. Sometime's tripping over his feet, or underestimating some depth perception on his part. At time's being unable to catch objects thrown or tossed towards him.

Mannerisms/Poses/Movement:  

Mannerisms: Jiggling leg up and down when he is bored, tapping foot, Making loud burps, Has a foul mouth, Rolls his eye's whenever he hears something he finds idiotic, Rubbing hands together, Points, Shifts in his seat when nervous, Slapping people on the back (Women the ass), Gestures a lot when speaking, Slouches when pouty or just upset or even angry, Puts feet on table and or desks, Toys with objects in front of him due to his curiosity and boredom, Picks at teeth, Gives off a nervous cough.

Poses: Will sit down with legs crossed or spread out. Will stand up straight or at time's slouched depending on mood, either with hands to his sides or in his pockets.

Describe their walk: He will do a type of falter walk whenever he is nervous about a plan, He prowls around whenever he wants to be sneaky, but mostly Kafka walks in strides with confidence.

Habits/OCD/Obsessions:

Habits: Swears like a sailor, Smokes like a chimney, Drinks quite a bit of Alcohol, Speaks with mouth full, Uses old-timey slang from time to time, Picks his teeth in public and often flicks it over to someone, Interrupts other's quite a bit, Watches porn (a TON of it), Lies a lot, Procrastinates, At times forgets the names of people he has met or introduced too (Especially when seeing a woman who catches his eye.)

OCD's:  He hoards quite a bit of stuff that he believes will be useful to him in the future Intrusive sexually explicit or violent thoughts and images (But he doesn't mind those)

Obsessions: Egomania, Megalomania, Plutomania, Nymphomania, Theomania.

Speech Patterns:  Uses heavy profanity, and often is seen talking as a Gangster, using the same idioms and slang. Voice: He has an Adenoidal type of voice. Which means, if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sounds seems to come through their nose. Describe their laugh: While his voice is an Adenoidal type, his laugh is more Grating, than anything. Which is an unpleasant and annoying laugh. It is quite loud and obnoxious.

Style (Elegant, shabby, etc): More so a vintage type of style from the 1940's to even the 1950's.

Intellectual/Mental/Personality Attributes and Attitudes

Intelligence Level:  About 100 on the IQ Classification. Which is about Average intelligence. Known Languages: Slovakian/Russian/English

Character's long-term goals/desires in life:  His long-term goals would be to make a lot of money and have tons of Women under his arm. Kafka is quite arrogant, so his main goals in life would be for himself to gain everything that he desires, which is more women for him to perv over and money to spend whenever he wants. He also craves to be feared and worshipped by all. The character's short-term goals/desires in life:  His short-term goals would be for Vera to get off his back about his poor work efforts, and to finally be able to impress her and Clive. Secret desires: To make Luljeta his Woman.

How self-confident is the character?: Kafka is extremely self-confident. To the point where he is accused by Clive of having Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), as he has many of the aspects of someone who does. No Empathy, Remorse, always self-entitled to things he is not, quite deceptive, showing a Jekyll and Hyde persona, where he will spin 180 degrees into someone else just so he can achieve what he wants.

How do they see him/herself?: Kafka sees himself as a strong and tall King, essentially. Holding himself up high, and beating everyone down to his level so he can gain control over them. How do they believe s/he is perceived by others?: Kafka would like to believe that he is perceived as like a god to other's, or at least admired unconditionally. Since, like Vera in some ways, he has a God complex (God Syndrome). Though it is quite the opposite, as many around him find him increasingly annoying and or irritating.

What is the character most proud of?: Kafka is most proud of his accomplishments and of his past events that he remember's quite fondly. What does the character like least about themselves?: That he can get envious of others.

How do they express themselves?:  Kafka expresses himself through his movement, but mostly through his wording to others. Being very boisterous as well as brusque, can get him into too much trouble.

Is this character generally dominant or submissive?: Although Kafka is a Dom by nature, he doesn't mind being a Sub for a strong Woman. (As mostly seen when Luljeta put's him in his place or when Vera does.) He would rather drop himself into a wood chipper then let another man tell him what to do, or an authority figure.

Patience level: on a level of 1 to 10?: 3. Because of Kafka's low patience, combined with his high temper, he can barely function when it come's to waiting for things that he would rather have now. Which is why he is at time's accompanied by Clive when going to complete tasks for Vera. (Which he loathe's, as he would rather do missions solo, then having someone tailing behind every step of the way like a child.) Does the character seem ruled by emotion or logic or some combination thereof?: Kafka is at time's mostly ruled by emotion, then he is logic. As his anger, lust, pride and jealousy get the better of him quite often. Although the time's when he is ruled by his logic, it is when Vera or Clive straighten him out and Kafka actually starts to think up brilliant schemes, and is a skilled arsonist.

Most at ease when: He is most at ease when dealing with women, when using weapons, when lying to a person, or even after he drinks beer. (Then he is loose and eased enough for everyone...) Ill at ease when: He is most ill at ease when in a situation that he feels threatened in. Otherwise, Kafka can remain calm in many incidences.

Describe their sense of humour: Kafka's type of humour would be a cross between Slapstick comedy/Sarcasm/Joke's at other's expense/Black humour. Though he relies on Slapstick humour the most, as he loves to play tricks on others for his own amusement. But the same can be said for Kafka when he makes Joke's at other's expenses, rather enjoying when other people (It doesn't matter who) are ridiculed, or teased.

If granted one wish, what would it be?:   To be in charge of everything or to have complete control of the Universe. Why?:  He believe's that if he was in command of everything that he will have complete control of anything and if he can do such a feat, he will be able to be happy. Plus, he just likes domination over all.

Character/Personality/Mental/Social Strengths:

Personality: Surly, Biased, Brazen, Brusque, Condescending, Haughty, Hedonist, Impetuous, Pretentious, Provocative, Querulous, Rancorous, Spontaneous, Dominant, Superficial, Tenacious, Vindictive, Spiteful.

Mental: Seeking knowledge, Knows who he is, Passions, Purpose, Has a hobby, Has a sense of style, Critical thinking, Resilient to change, Knows what he likes and does not.

Social: Open to thoughts and feelings (A little TOO much.), Makes good eye contact with someone. Character/Personality/Mental/Social Flaws:

Personality: (All of his Strength personalities ate his weaknesses. )

Mental: Poor relationships, Does not care about other's, Jealousy, Ignorance, Controlled by his emotions, Lies, Uncontrolled, Spends recklessly, Poor acceptance skills, Negativity bias, Doesn't like to share, Poor diet and poor fitness, Holds grudges, Builds up anger, Easily irritated, Tries to hurt other's, Easily offended, Abrasive, See's kindness as weakness, Rude.

Social: His social flaws are his Mental flaws.

If they could be described with one of the seven virtues, which would it be?: Diligence.

If they could be described with one of the seven sins, which would it be?: Wrath. As Kafka really does not have control over his anger, it is difficult for him to control it. Although, he love's the feeling of enraged adrenaline coursing through him.

Biggest Vulnerability (non-physical):  One of his biggest vulnerabilities is the fact that he can't really control his emotions at all. His brash behaviour makes Kafka uncontrollable.

Optimist or Pessimist: Pessimist. (He does not see the light in various situations, and rather would want the world to burn, or ascend into chaos then see things shine through.)

Introvert or extrovert: Extrovert (While he is a Pessimist. He love's to Socialize. Well, more so when he drinks.)

Greatest Fear: Being burned alive. (Make's sense, since Kafka is mostly made of wood. But it stems from being burned nearly fully alive by the first fire that Clive had caused when being summoned by Vera. Kinda the reason why he has a grudge against Clive and why he always refuses to partner with him.) Other Fears/Insecurities/Phobias:

Other Fears: Being thrown off a bridge or cliff and into a lake or river of water. (As Kafka can not swim at all. It is something he would rather not happen to him.) Being used as a scratching post or kindle for fire.

Insecurities: (I don't think someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder has any Insecurities. )

Phobias: Trypophobia, Theophobia (Fear of God or Religion), Gatophobia (Fear of cats. Mainly because he has a fear of being used as a scratching post), Pyrophobia. Emotional/psychological/social peculiarities:

Emotional: Extraversion-excitability, sociability, talkativeness, assertiveness and high amounts of emotional expressiveness. Neuroticism-Tendency to experience emotional instability, anxiety, moodiness, irritability, and sadness, as well as having a low tolerance for stress.

Active, Adventurous, Challenging, Competitive, Confident, Dominating, Deceptive, Determined, Experimental, Freewheeling, Iconoclastic, Impressionable, Intense, Noncommittal, Outspoken, Unpredictable, Preoccupied, Proud, Sarcastic, Stubborn, Tough, Abrasive, Abrupt, Aggressive, Amoral, Apathetic, Arrogant, Arbitrary, Argumentative, Blunt, Boisterous, Brutal, Callous, Cantankerous, Childish, Coarse, Cold.

Psychological: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Biggest regret:  Not being able to pick up any of those French girls when he was with Clive. Other regrets: Not being able to take over properly or in a situation whenever it is him with Lice or with Vera. Not being able to prove to Vera that he can be an affordable foe or leader. And not being able to get any women to go out with him.

Biggest accomplishment:  Kafka's biggest accomplish was being able to convince Vera that he can go on missions with Clive. Being able to use any kind of Weapon or Artillery without skipping a beat. That, even though he doesn't really get anywhere with Women, the fact that he keeps going after one after the other still amazes him and counts to him as a big accomplishment. Having extremely high stamina despite not knowing how to fully use it. Being of use to Vera and Clive in some ways, whether it is dealing with other's, being the distraction, or using his skills in weaponry. Minor accomplishments: To be perfectly honest, any type of accomplishing to Kafka is big.

Musical talents/instruments: None. Musical Talents: If playing the tambourine is one. Then technically yes.

Instruments:  Tambourine. Character's darkest/deepest secret: He has none. Kafka is an open book to all his pervy needs and doings. Minor Secrets: None.

Likes/Dislikes

Likes:  Sweets, Massages (Just from women.), Women, Violence, Fighting, Drama (He lives for it), Men's clothing, Any kind of liquor, Archery, Weapons, Models, Sports (Mainly underground sports), Wrestling, Sun tanning (He mostly likes to watch women sun bathing.), Singing (As long as it is not Opera), Bowling, Brewing Beer, Car racing, Casino Gambling (Any type of gambling), Cigar smoking, Collecting anything he can get his hands on, Dancing, Darts, Eating out, Movies (Anything that's rated R or 18A. With a lot of violence, explosions and sex.) Dislikes:  Being told what to do, being yelled at, being treated like a child, not being heard, being placed in time out, being embarassed or humiliated, fishing, floral arrangements, being slapped, punched or hit in any way, gardening, wearing goofy looking clothing, gnomes, golf, skating, horses, birds, cats, dogs (Any animal that makes him annoyed), puzzles, juggling, people who are loud (Even though he can be) someone who talkes too much, squealing on him.

Favorite

Color:  Maroon Clothing:  Wool Tweed suit Place: Italy/Romania Room in the house and why:  His bedchambers. After complaining that he had no room for himself but Clive did, Vera had given Kafka is own room to have, once he was full possessed by the spirit and gained more ground for himself, being able to walk and talk properly. There was no reason to keep him in her room by her bed anymore. Kafla appreciated the privacy, as he expected to bring more, as he called them "Dame's" to the room. Music genre:  Rock, Jazz, Alternate rock, Heavy metal, Drum and bass Songs and Singers/Bands:  (While Kafka is mainly 1940's style and his spirit lived during that time, he has adapted to different type's of tastes that he has been introduced to in the 21st century) He does not have a favourite Singer or band, but he has songs that he enjoys. Undead-Hollywood Undead Dead Bite-Hollywood Undead Kill Everyone-Hollywood Undead Medicine-Hollywood Undead Usual Suspects-Hollywood Undead Eat you Alive-Limp Bizkit Obsession-Innerpartysystem Pony-Ginuwine Blood on the Floor-Call me Master Welcome to the Show-Britt Nicole Gospel of Dismay-DAGames Build our Machine-DAGames Talk Dirty-Jason Derulo Enjoy the Show-NateWantsToBattle Left behind-DAGames Movies/Tv Shows/Performances:  When it's not any form of Porn from Kafka, there are a few Movies he does indulge in, as well as TV shows. As for Performances, he does not have a favourite. He just believe's that as long as the acting doesn't suck, he can get into it.

Movies: Citizen Kane, Laura, Dead of Night, Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein, Suspiria, Halloween, The Exorcist, Psycho, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Shinning, The Evil Dead, Saw, The Thing, Rosemary's baby, The Fly, The Omen, Carrie, Aliens, Close encounters of the Third kind, Donnie Darko, Groundhog Day, Ghostbusters, Dr.Strangelove, Some like it Hot, Young Frankenstein, All Monty Python movies, Caddyshack.

Tv Shows:  The Ed Sullivan Show, The Jack Benny program, The Twilight Zone, American Horror Story, Bates Motel, Tales from the Crypt Keeper, Penny Dreadful, The X-Files, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Night Gallery. Books:  Be prepared for some names of Porn mags. But some are of different nature that Kafka likes to read. Mainly Weapons and of Spells (Which are all Vera's own collection. As she believe's that to be prepared for any type of battle against anyone and anything. These are just a list of a small few.) But his favourite is of the dirty nature.

Weapons:  The Longbow, Firearms: An Illustrated History, Standard catalogue of military firearms, Winchester Level Action Riffles, The Gladius: The Roman short Sword, The illustrated world of Encyclopedia of Guns, 101 Knife Designs: Practical Knifes for daily use, Hatcher's notebook.

Spells:  Book of Shadows, The Element Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells, Petit Albert, Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells, Candlelight Spells, Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft, The everything Wicca and witchcraft book, Grand Grimoire.

Dirty Shit: Adam Film World, Asian Fever, Barley Legal-Hustler, Celebrity Skin, Chic, Club, Gallery, Genisis, Gent, Gourmet, High Society, Hustler, Juggs, Leg Show, Modern Man, Oui, Penthouse Forum, Perfect 10, Playboy, Score, SCREW,Swank, Asian Babes, Club International, Escort, Fiesta, Mayfair, Men Only, Men's World, Knave, Penthouse, Razzle, Lolita, Aktuell Rapport, Cats, Lui, Colour Climax, Private, Beppin, Lemon People, Manga Burikko, Urecco, Video Boy, Debonair, Nuts, Zoo Weekly.

Historical figure: Alphonse Gabriel Capone. Animal:  Hyaeninae

Least Favorite:

Clothing:  He doesn't really like "Monkey suits" any type of black tie affairs or clothing that makes him look prim and proper. Sandals, he HATES sandals. Place:  Hospitals, Schools, Old folks homes. He doesn't like hospitals because he thinks they smell like piss and vinegar. He doesn't like old folks homes because he can't stand old people and thinks they smell like death and shit. He hates schools because he dislikes Children. A lot. Loathes them. Music genre:  Classical music, Opera, Pop, Hip-hop, Rap, he is not fond of classic rock, Whiney crap. (He hates all of that stuff.) Simple Pleasures:  Sprinklers, Holding hands, Receiving big projects, Watching Squirrels or Birds (He hates both), Any kind of Tea sipping (He hates Tea), Playing any kind of game with children. Where does this character like to hang out?:  Wherever Women are, Kafka is bound to be there. Bars, High Schools, College's, even Parks.  Or even outside of their own house (He is a Voyeur.) Where is this character's dream place to live?:  He hopes to one day have a bigger home then Vera's, with as many women as he can have inside of it. (Basically the Play boy Mansion.)

Motto/Personal quote:  "The Devil whispered in my ear "Your not strong enough to withstand the storm" Today I whispered in the Devil's ear "I am the storm."

Mode of transportation:  Usually he walks or he takes the Mahogany and Crimson Brougham Carriage with Clive.

Most prized possession: It would be his weapons that he owns. Why?: Kafka enjoys weapon collecting, often finding it hard to try them out at all. Owning something that he can have his hands on and use, is an immense rush to him. He likes being in control.

Relationships with others

Relationship Skills: Loves:  Kafka does not have any "loves" but he has a series of Lustful infatuations. He is not skillful in this emotion at all. He doesn't ever "fall" in love. Lusts: He can lust with the best of 'em. Mainly after women who he finds incredibly attractive. Basically, anything in a skirt will get Kafka's attention. Crushes:  He has a crush on Luljeta. Girlfriend/Boyfriend(s): None Another lover (s): None Marital status:  Single (But at times mentally believe's he is dating Lulu.)

First crush:  Luljeta (If I were to describe their relationship it would be the song Eat you Alive by Limp Bizkit.) Did it last?: The feeling has lasted for several decades. Why or why not?: While he does not "love" her, or have any "Infatuation" for her, he believe's that she is the perfect kind of woman for him and wants to possess her.

Best Friends: While Kafka does not have "Friends" he has people in a category which he plainly puts as "Those who I will piss on" and "Those who I won't" The very top of the won't is Vera. So, in some strange way he see's her as a "Best friend". Friends:  "Those who I won't" are Vera, Clive, Luljeta. Hates:  "Those who I will piss on"  is a rather long list, so I won't list all of them. But just a few. Vadim Tyler Luna Nowta Lily Angel Anyone who tries to cock blocks him, and so much more. Rivals:  Vadim, Crowley

What kind of person would s/he considers to be the perfect partner?: Kafka considers the perfect partner to be, Foreign, doesn't matter what skin tone they are, with a sexy accent, vivacious, curvacious, who doesn't mind getting themselves of their hands dirty, who has a wicked mind, who is wicked in bed, full lips, bedroom eyes, who is feisty, limber. (It doesn't matter to him much about the mind...he is just that sexist.)

Is the character judgmental of others and how so? :  Kafka is not only sexist, but he is extremely judgmental. A snob, if you will. Though he has poor manners and is quite rude and crude. Like he believe's that any man who has an affinity for style is Gay to him. Or any woman who dresses a tad bit too "Manly" is obviously butch to him.

How is s/he perceived by...

Strangers?: When complete strangers see Kafka, their first thought about him would be his size, first of all, why he looks the way he does would be the second thought, and the third thought when he finally does speak is how freaky he actually is. Otherwise, the first two would be the most question worthy of them. Friends?: By Kafka's "Friends" (Not exactly the right word for them as they are more, again, business partners) he is thought of as perverted, arrogant, boisterous, crude, annoying. Family?:  He has no family. What happens to change this perception if at all?:  His life choices are basically what made him change his perception of everything that is happening to him now. Before his soul had been placed into a Ventriloquist Dummy, Kafka was rather joyous, until that day when he did have to kill that prostitute. The trauma lasted with him for quite some time, and when he found out how alive he felt after it was all done, he realized something dark and brooding beneath. What type of people does s/he like or associate with?:  Kafka likes to be with people like him, essentially. He loves Gangster and those who are extremely powerful, mainly because he can reap the rewards or have them for shields if need be. Plus the whole appeal of those type of people around him, really up his game. As he believes. He also loves to be around pretty women. Anyone who has a Royal ranking, or someone who is extremely rich. What type of people doesn't s/he like or associate with?:  He loves Children (Though Vera is the only exception.), Teenagers (Though if they are pretty, he makes an exception. He'll chase anything in a skirt.) Old people, anyone who he finds to be a lower rank then he is. Overly cheerful people. Homeless people. How do they treat members of the opposite sex?:  Depending on how he is treated, when Kafka takes an interest in a woman, he will try everything in his power to get her to go on a date with him, or even sleep with him. It doesn't matter what. When he is faced with a Woman who is a bitch to him, it also depends on the situation. Because Kafka is a bit of a Masochist, he likes the roughness, but, it depends on how badly he wants what he is chasing after.

What do family/friends like most about character?: His ambition, and how he is able to handle weapons. Other than that, Kafka can get a little too under someone's skin. What do family/friends like least about character?: How annoying he can be, how he basically chases after any woman he finds attractive, completely blowing off his chance to help in the situation. How brash he can be, how his crude behavior can get him into trouble. Forgetfulness. The list goes on and on.

Sex/Romantic Life

What do they consider to be a romantic setting/activity/date?:  A romantic setting for Kafka would be on a huge king or queen sized bed, under a huge mirror on the ceiling, shag carpeting for the room, wine, and a please do not disturb sign. In like, the cheapest motel room possible. To be honest, Kafka wouldn't care how or where he gets it from.

How does a normal date go for this character?: A "normal" date for Kafka would be trying to hit on anything in a skirt, hoping they will go out with them, constantly trying to fake either falling or feigning injury to look up a girls skirt, or to get them to hold him close (Preferably to their chest...) or trick them into feeling some pity for him. (Not exactly a "Date" but it might as well be for Kafka)

How did/would they propose, or like to be proposed to?: No. Kafka doesn't see the point in Marriage at all. He finds it pointless as well as humorous. He doesn't understand why anyone would want to tie themselves down to one person when they can have so many others.

Virgin?: Oh no, Kafka is far from being a Virgin. Before he was a spirit possessing a doll, he was a very "Active" perverted,  misogynistic pig. Describe his/her sex life: At this point?. Considering he has no reproductive organs, his sex life is not going too well, to not having one at all. (Well, you could argue that he could technically have one. He may be a doll, but, he does have means to. But I won't go into detail, then this bio would turn into R rated.) How often does this character have sex?: He wishes it was far more or at least SOME. How long can he/she go without sex?: He's already wanting to pay a call girl, so, not long. Kafka can like, for 2 minutes without sex until he get's the itch again. How does this character feel emotionally, after sex?: Satisfied, exhausted, but energized as all hell. Does this character have self-control around the opposite sex?:  Nope. The sight of a pretty girl (Especially those in skirts) make Kafka extremely aroused and when Kafka get's that way, nothing can stop him from trying to get into their pants. NOTHING. Does sex play an important role in their relationships, if so, how?: If plays a huge part in any relationships he has. If he is not getting anything in the relationship like sex, he will break it off in a heart beat.

Turn-ons: (His Fetishes/Fantasies are his Turn-Ons.) Turn-offs:  A woman who talks too much, Horrible hygiene or any type of hair on a girl, Flirting of any kind with other guys or even TALKING to other guys, Crying, Annoying laughter, Clumsiness, being too Intelligent or showing off intellect, sticking up for themselves too MUCH. Fetishes/Fantasies:  

Fetishes: Masochism, Sadism, Voyeurism, Telephone Scatalogia, Algolagnia (Depends on who is causing the pain. Kafka is all for women doing it though.), Amaurophilia, Asphyxiophilia, Biastophilia, Breast fetishism, Lipstick fetishism, Panty fetishism, Haematophilia, Hybristophilia, Katoptronophilia, Lust murder, Pictophilia.

Fantasies:  Being dominated sexually, Being filmed during sex, Being tied up by someone in order to obtain sexual pleasure, Dominating someone sexually, Ejaculating on sexual partner, Forcing someone to have sex, Giving cunnilingus, Having interracial sex, Having sex in an unusual place, Having sex with a prostitute or Stripper, Having sex with a woman with very large breasts, Having sex with an unknown person, Having sex with more than three people (All women.), Masturbating an unknown person, Masturbating an Acquaintance, Petting with a stranger in public. Sexual perks: He has high stimulation. Sexual flaws: That can also be his flaw because he can go for so long, and won't hesitate to continue going for longer.

Usually on the top or bottom?:  He likes to be on top but doesn't mind if a dominant woman takes control of him. Dominant or Submissive?: Dominant. But, he can be the Submissive one to a powerful, strong woman (Preferably a Dominatrix.) Describe their first sexual experience:  His first sexual experience when he was living, was a Stripper/Prostitute when he was just a boy, age 12. His "friends" at the time wanted to do something fun on his 12th birthday, so, keeping everything hush and working the streets to find a girl, one who would do the job for cheap, and let him do anything he wanted in a shitty motel. After they found a woman who would, who was twice his age, 27, they had set everything up for him to meet her at the motel. It was a night that Kafka had never forgotten, it was also his first murderous encounter. After Kafka had lost his virginity to the woman, and what seemed to be an amazing first-time experience (At least for him.) He had soon learned that it came with a price (Literally). Wanting the money up front, about 200 (As she was promised in the first place by his "buds") when Kafka could not produce such a large amount of cash.  Being enraged by the boy, she grabbed a pistol from inside of her purse and pointed it at him, directly aiming it between Kafka's eyes. Backing up and off of the bed, naked, Kafka protested but couldn't get the woman to put down the weapon. Not being able to calm her down, he took drastic measures into his own hands and, grabbing the nearest object that he could, which was a lamp on the night stand to the left of him, ramming it straight to the side of her head and knocking her to the ground. Not completely unconscious, but having blurry vision, she tried to raise up her head but having difficulty. Seeing his opportunity, Kafka grabbed the gun and shot her point blank, four times. Seeing how mangled he had left her, he became physically sick and ran out of the room, and vomited in front of the other's outside of the room. How did they feel emotionally, afterwards?: Terrified, Shocked, sick to his stomach, but also, thrilled. How has this affected the character, if substantially at all?:  It has incredibly changed how Kafka feels about Sex in general now.  He feels a certain amount of rush from such thoughts and wants that type of chance again, just so he can go through the adrenaline feeling.

Possible psychological reasons for their sexual fantasies or behavior:  Well, one is because of what he had gone through with that woman. As she had made him realize what a rush it was, even after he practically vomited everything out from him.  He had never gained such a rush before, and he loved every bit of it.

Emotional Characteristics

Describe character's sense of morals: Kafka does not have any good morals about him. He can be deplorable, dishonest, disloyal, despicable and twisted. Kafka would rather kick someone into on-going traffic then let help an old lady coss the street.

Describe character's etiquette: His manners lack quite horribly. No matter if Vera tries to teach him at all, Kafka will continue to be late, Invade someone's personal space, will always show up empty handed to social events, always gossips, etc.

Describe character's sense of self-control:  Kafka does not even know the definition of the word, never mind actually doing it.

How does this character act in public?:  Kafka acts calm, cool and collected whenever he is out in public, but it really depends on his mood. If someone makes him angry, it won't matter to him if he is out and around people, he will make a scene. And if he sees a pretty girl, he will run off and try to flirt with her. How does this character act around strangers vs how they act around friends?: Kafka acts the same around strangers as he does with friends, Arrogant, Self Assured, and Insulting. How does this character act at home?: Kafka acts the same anywhere he goes.

How does this character deal with or react to:

Anger:  Not...not well, not well at all. Conflict/Danger:  It depends on what the danger or Conflict is. If the danger is enough for Kafka to handle he will go in guns blazing, but if it is a conflict that he stands no choice in, he will either head off running, pushing someone in front or become so arrogant about the situation itself and go in any way with a cocky attitude. Rejection:  Kafka does not deal with rejection well at all. He will either spit in the woman's face or call them foul names.

Fear:  He will either run or go in fists swinging.

Change:  Depends on the type of change. Otherwise, Kafka is actually quite chill, just as long as the change benefits him.

Loss:  When it comes to Money or any of his things, he goes go batshit insane, but when it comes to loss of a person, not really, though he will feel a slight tinge if anything should happen to Vera and that is only because he will lose the mansion and everything he has now.

Sex/Flirting: With Sex, Kafka is all for it, the same with flirting, especially if the girl starts to flirt with him.

Pain: Looooooooathes it entirely. Now, when he is causing it himself, he loves it.

Stress:  Kafka does not handle stress well if it becomes too much for him he starts to become a bit more insane then he already is. Letting the stress consume him.

Peer pressure:  Kafka does not do well under pressure. He would like to handle everything his way without anyone breathing down his neck.

Guilt: He has none.

Being wrong: When being wronged, Kafka is a big believer in an eye for an eye.

Being criticized: He throws troll like criticisms right back at the person.

Praise: Oh he devours every last drop of praise that he can get. Like milk for a cat, he will lick those compliments from the floor itself.

Love:  Kafka is not a fan of love, but to a pretty little thing in a skirt, he will swear up and down that he is in "love" with her until she sleeps with him.

Being hated: Could care less.

Humiliation: With humiliation, Kafka will try his damndest to get back at the person who caused it and when it is his own fault, he will try and place blame on someone else for his short comings.

What does this character think/feel about:

Sex: He absolutely adores it. Kafka can't really see life without it or even a single day. Love: He doesn't see the point of it, other than to manipulate someone with it. The opposite sex Loves them. He wants as many women to himself as possible. Politics: He doesn't really understand them, nor does he like them, despite Vera being so active in them herself and being part of her business plans. Religion Finds religion tedious, but likes his own belief's more then other's. Science/Technology: He loves when it is useful, but when he doesn't understand a lick of what he has to do with it, he has a tendency to smash things. With Science alone, he knuckles under and falls asleep at the thought of learning it. Drugs and alcohol Love any kind that he can get his hands on. Killing/Murder: He finds it a rush.

How does the character view life?: He believe's that life owe's him everything for what he has suffered for. As long as he get's what he wants, the ends justify the means. How does the character view death?: He does not like the concept of death, nor does he welcome it. At times it does seem like a huge adrenaline rush for him. How does the character view society?: He views society as something he can bend and shape to his will. How does the character imagine his/her own death?: He would LIKE for it to be under a pile of naked women from so much sex, but, he knows that at some point it will be in a blaze of burning embers.

What does the character want out of life?: What Kafka wants out of life at the moment, is for everyone to recognize his greatness, to knuckle under him and to become the all-powerful being that he believes himself to be. What does this character consider "success" to be?:  Power over everyone, commanding everyone to do your bidding, lot's of women as well as money. What would the character like to change in his/her life?:  At the moment, his position. He would like to rank higher above Clive.

What motivates this character?: Promises of huge things to come for him, anything that Kafka likes is what motivates him to do what he does best. Why?: If it is something Kafka likes, high chances are that he will start to work far harder for what he wants.

What discourages this character?: When he get's turned down by a woman, When he loses a poker game or when Clive or Vera scold him. Why?: Kafka may be an egotist, but he loathes when someone turns him down or makes him feel like a piece fo trash.

What makes this character angry?: -People who talk over him. -People who constantly keep talking -People who interrupt him -People who are in his personal space (Hypocritical since he does the same to other's. But, only women he flirts with or sexually harasses.) -People who sneeze in his direction -Anyone who chews with their mouth open -Someone who drives too slow -Morons -Children who whine and scream -Obliviousness -Anyone who steals his cigars or Booze. -Touching his things -Being lied too (Another hypocritical one. Because he does more lying than anyone.) -When Vera doesn't let him in on Political matters. -When Luljeta won't go out or bang him -Being slapped across the face or punched

What most describes this character's personality?: Depraved, Immoral, Degenerate.

Psycho analysis (Describe why they act the way they do): The reason that Kafka is the way that he is, is basically because of who his soul belongs too. His soul belonged to a rather deplorable human being, one who was rather loathed himself, a man who spent his life hounding over women and selfishly manipulating people.

Spiritual Characteristics

Religion:  LaVeyan Satanism

Does the character believe in a god or goddess?: Kafka does not believe in God at all, but he does believe that Goddess's do exist (Mainly because he met Luna, who is a Moon Goddess and Velouria, who is a Fertility Goddess)

What are the character's spiritual beliefs?: Kafka believe's that God is a myth. His belief includes following your own desires, individualism, hedonism, materialism, ego, personal initiative, self-worth, and self-determinism.

Is religion or spirituality an important part of this character's life?: Not really. Though he does express it when it comes into play or mentioned.

If this character were an animal, what would they be?: A Hyena. In this case, a striped Hyena. As Kafka is more of a Scavenger. He likes to drive away larger and more powerful villains away from certain jobs, weapons, or even their henchwomen, away, so he can run in and take what he can get for himself.

IF this character were the opposite sex what would they: Do?: Look at himself naked Say?:  How good he looks naked Feel?: His breasts.

If this character were to be characterized by an object, what would it be?: A Sledgehammer. Why you may ask?. Kafka is very much like this object, because when he strikes, it's swift, brutal, and guarantee if he gets you by the head, you WILL, be dead.

What song best fits this character?: Medicine-Hollywood Undead / The usual suspects-Hollywood Undead.

If you could compare this character to an existing character, who would s/he be and why?: One of them would be Impmon. I choose this character, because, I have always liked Impmon, his personality was a bit firey, stubborn, Scheming, also a bit flirty as well (Well, when it came to Renamon, in the English dubbed version from 4Kids.) Then he did get a little more angsty near the series ending. But also, a lot more understanding (His character will do a 180 in the series.) With Impmon though, I would choose how he was near the start of Digimon Tamers, where he was more of an egotist then anything. always sure of himself, playing pranks at other's expense and making things difficult for everyone.

Another would be Prison Pee Dee (Pee Dee) from Superjail (Actually more or less Gary from SJ.) As Pee Dee was just the puppet that Warden had for the talent show. But, I digress. He is a combination of this character as well, because Pee Dee was behind everything through out the episode, "Uh oh, it's magic!" When Warden becomes jealous of Jared over his impressive magic act and becomes popular with the inmates, Warden decides to try and find an easier way to learn how to throw his voice, so he can become more popular then Jared's act. As Warden goes off into the library to search for a book on ventriloquism, it is Gary, who points out where to find the book. But the book Warden finds is of the Satanic kind. To cut things short, it was Gary and Bird who had cooked up a plan to escape the prison with the inmates with them, after building a huge Pee Dee robot for them to escape in. It did not work, as Jared and Warden work together to thrawt the plan and end up cutting out Gary's vocal cords (His old Warden had cut out his tongue after Gary had caused several horrible things to happen, upon him being such a smooth talker.) The reason Pee Dee (Or Gary) is one of the influences, is because of how he acts, he is essentially a con artist, making people do what he wants because of his charisma. (Like Charlie with his Family.) Making you choose his way or the highway.

If you could choose an actor for this character, who would it be?:  For someone like Kafka, I don't know at all. I always have a certain type to play my Characters. I suppose in some way, Brad Dourif would fit that profile.

If you could choose a voice actor for this character, who would it be?:  Oh, gosh, that is difficult. It would have to be Derek Stephen Prince (The voice of Impmon in the English dub of Digimon Tamers). I can see Kafka having a type of Impmon voice, which is why I chose him, and it seems to fit Kafka's looks in the first place when it comes to his voice.

Who/what was your character inspired by?: He was inspired by the movie Dead Silence and Pee Dee from Superjail. My main inspiration was the movie Dead Silence, but upon kinda, resurfacing this character again and working on him, I am leaning more into Pee Dee now. Though the aspects in the movie serve as a high inspiration for me when it comes's to this character and how they were created.