#i never get diagnosed with Sexy Mental Illness even when i so impulsive shit because my impulses are like

[chicago-geniza]

the blogger who forgot they entered a fugue state & ordered a passel of secondhand dictionaries online last weekend:

the first crop of impulse-purchase dictionaries, care of today's post:

[quietmonde-blog]

5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, and 45 for jack :thinking:

lmfao I didn’t even realize this was an ask meme that’s how far into my own head I am recently also you’re a hell demon 

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?  A little screwdriver, a knife, her thin ( :( ) wallet, a hair tie, house key, and her phone. She doesn’t keep much in there, but she does have a little backpack she carries around a lot that might have some more things (it has a complete set of mini screwdrviers, for example, lol). 10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?  This is hard. Jack isn’t self conscious of her body (except for her lack of an ass), and she doesn’t really care what clothes she wears as long as they’re not ridiculously absurd or uncomfortable. It’s weather dependent if anything. Since she gets cold easier than most people, I’d say more clothing. Put Jack in an air conditioned building without a sweatshirt and she’ll freeze her ass off. She impulse steals beanies all the time for her cold lil’ head.   Thinking more on it Jack does not like to feel out of control, and while she’d take any stares received from wearing revealing clothing in stride, she wouldn’t enjoy it on a daily basis. She has to be in the mood. When she goes clubbing she dresses very sexy. 15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?  Jack has never had much of either. She is possessive over her money, favorite clothing items, electronics, and tools. This sounds like a lot but it’s really just a few items that could easily fit into a small backpack. She is not preoccupied with obtaining more possessions, and does not care about name brands and getting the latest of anything. She lives paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford to.  If Jack won the lottery she would spend a shit load of money very freely, treating people she likes to all kinds of lavish things. But she has very little, and the idea of that little amount being taken from her puts her on edge. She’s already had to leave all her possessions behind once in life before and it didn’t fuck with her too much (she had a lot of other bs to worry about at the time). I’d say she isn’t preoccupied with materialistic things but has been without key items like a winter coat and money for food so until she is living more comfortably will continue to be very hesitant to share the few things that give her a sense of normalcy.  She is preoccupied with making money cause she needs money. Lol. 20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?   Jack is very skilled in social manipulation, and a a lot of this skill was honed via observing others and comparing herself to them. She grew up very isolated from others and had to learn how to seem normal (or at least close enough to it to avoid questions). She knows she got the short end of the stick compared to most people, but she almost takes pride in it at this point in life. I guess that counts as self-validation? But in the same vein it’s criticism, because she uses what she learns via comparing herself to others to become better at manipulating situations in her favor.   Right now Jack is just turning 18 and so things are changing some. She’s getting frustrated more and more when comparing herself to people, because she’s an adult now and doesn’t have the basic opportunities most people have due to her lack of documentation and education. She doesn’t even know if her birth was registered and is scared of what might happen if she’s found out. She wants to be able to apply to higher paying jobs and not fear for her safety all the time. This is less self-critical and more critical of her circumstances, but it’s definitely making her less and less optimistic for her future, which is sad in someone who is usually a happy person. On the other hand, she’s studying for her GED in order to help her pass the test if and when she figures the documentation thing out. So some good came from the frustration.  Jack doesn’t criticize herself much regardless of circumstances. She’s still a cocky little shit. 25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?  Jack does not trust easily. While she doesn’t necessarily think everyone is out to get her, she is always prepared. After being abducted at 13 she vowed she would never be that vulnerable again. She doesn’t consider it paranoia since she’s literally had almost all the things she takes precautions against happen to her.30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?  Weakness, even in herself. Jack has PTSD from events in her childhood, but she doesn’t know that/hasn’t been diagnosed and so she hides all the panic attacks and tells nobody of the intrusive thoughts and how much of a dark place her mind can become. Instead she abuses various substances and pretends she just does it for fun rather than as an unhealthy coping mechanism. She acts like the anger she can exhibit when fucked up is just a result of the drugs and not all the pent up emotion inside of her.   Jack does not deal with people she perceives as mentally weak.  In this way she can be a bit ableist, but usually if she understands that a mental illness is present she will be considerably less harsh. Tears do not earn sympathy with Jack; they repulse her. She demands a level of toughness in her friends and will consciously or subconsciously take advantage of weaknesses she finds. 35. How does your character behave around people they like?    She is gregarious, witty, and at a certain point (once great trust is earned) a little bit possessive. She feels comfortable debating literally everything and pushes people’s buttons a little more, curious to see what makes them tick. She feels the need to establish that she can function just fine without them and is only around because she wants to be, but also becomes protective and even caring. The protective bit stems from the fact that despite being an underweight 18 year old girl Jack sees herself as practically invincible, especially compared to other people. She doesn’t think anything can take her down.   She will not communicate her affection for people with words, because she sees this as something weak people do. But if Jack cooks for you, builds things for you, or goes out of her way to see you on the regular, you’re probably important to her.   She is much more relaxed around those she likes, but she pretends to be relaxed around those she hates, so.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ How does your character treat people in service jobs?   She doesn’t kiss their ass but isn’t rude. She doesn’t go to places that require tipping, because they’re usually out of her price zone, but she’d tip 15% - kind of bad, but she doesn’t know. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?  Jack is 90% sure she’s going to hell so tries not to think about that.