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#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked
carrotpiss
·
3 months
Text
🐰🧡🐻
#in stark contrast to most of my personal posts this is about me being happy and gay
#because i need to just get it out my system bc otherwise i am just going to grab a friend by the shoulders and scream (in joy) in their face
#i am dating someone and its really really nice and sweet and cute and like nothing ive ever experienced before
#and instead its like every tiny little dream about this kind of thing ive managed to hold onto despite every experience otherwise and ahhhh
#the lack of focus on just sex or sex appeal is so nice its like there but as a side thing so its nice and i dont feel like an object
#i feel like a human person with thoughts and feelings and interests outside if that and feel safe in that and feel safe that everything wont
#just be discarded if i dont want to do that like i feel like boundaries and stuff are an option! without jeopardising everything
#and el likes me as much as i like them and wants and sees and communicates that they want something long term and ahhhhhhhh
#i just want to cry like holy shit this is everything ive ever wondered about like i have spent so long wondering what this feeling would
#actually feel like and its so good and so indescribable and ahhhhhhh
#waking up on monday night and seeing them in my bed and cuddling me was just so nice i felt wanted i felt... loved
#this all seems so out of left field still i still feel like i just never saw it coming but its so welxome and nice and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
#my pessimism is still there but its less loud now its more learning to accept this may not be perfect forever but letting me enjoy the now
#crouch speaks
#it feels so nice to not be scared and to feel secure and ahhh
#also it made me laugh El remembered me hitting on then at the Dgoals release show making them blush lol
#i only remember the time i hit on them later at the groles show so its funny i pretty much used the same line twice and it still worked
#i cant wait to see them again i cant wait to hold hands in public again i cant wait to be idiots who keep blushing too hard and accidentally
#kissing eachother on the nose instead of the mouth because we are stupid and gay and pathetic about it hahaha
#just ahhhh i could gush forever how perfect the 2!!! dates weve been on were and the fact they want more and more and ahhhhh
#this is so lame i know i just haven't experienced anything remotely like this before and its just... wild
#like wow holy shit what on earth i have been so increasingly miserablely depressed and insecure from the shea stuff last year and then this
#just absolutely removed all of that i actually feel like a human person again with value
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