#i promise you that a trans man dating a lesbian will not cause the downfall of gay rights

[aaronymous999]

Okay imma say it right now because some people do not get it!!

Being queer is not a choice, but you’re not necessarily “born this way”.

I was a gay man up until the age of 12. I loved boys and I was a boy. Now though? I don’t like people. I’m happier than ever. And it wasn’t a choice I made to just stop liking people. My body just decided not to be attracted to anyone anymore. And that’s okay. If in the future I like boys again, that’s okay too. I was born queer, but my queer identity will never be the same my whole life, and that’s okay :)

[vaspider]

So I'm currently single, but let me tell you about all the cool moments I've had in t4t relationships of all stripes.

My first significant relationship was with a trans man. I hadn't figured out my gender yet, and he came out while we were dating. He was the first out trans person I knew, and he helped me figure out my own gender. We've both looked at each other as role models over the years, and we're still friends.

My longest relationship was with a transfem, who is currently a nonbinary lesbian (at the time they were identifying as a pansexual trans woman). We had so much fun together. We went to prom, twice. We played DnD together, and still do. We went on picnics on the golf course, we danced in the rain. They told me about their transition path, and I told them about my dreams for mine. They introduced me to The Adventure Zone, and The Promised Neverland. They're the only trans person my parents liked (I think cause they were on HRT, and so they "passed"). We went to soda shops. We had late night dates. We never fucked, but got close. We only broke up once they figured out they were a lesbian, and now they have a partner (who might also be nonbinary? He's a he/him lesbian, but I don't know the details) and an apartment and 2 cats and they're thriving.

I lost my virginity to a grindr hook up who was a trans man. It was really nice to do that with a guy who "got it", yk? He respected my boundaries about where I want pleasure, and I respected his, and we generally had a good time. We never spoke again, but I'm glad I had the experience with him. It was also really nice to 1) see top surgery results for the first time in real life, and 2) meet more trans poc. I grew up in a very very white place, so I had met maybe one black trans man before him.

I made friends with a guy from the tgcj discord, and he came down from 3 states away to spend a week with me. We weren't dating, but we hung out, we made breakfast together, we fucked. It was really nice, just hanging out with this guy from online. He was real handsome too.

My most recent relationship was with a trans man. We lived together for a good chunk of it too. I think that was one of the downfalls of the relationship, we both had different untreated mental illnesses that clashed with our living styles, and we shared a bedroom, so we didn't ever really have space apart. While the end was pretty rough, the beginning and middle were a good time. He helped me with surgical recovery, and I helped him start his top surgery journey. We dyed our hair together, we called each other loving slurs, we slept in the same bed almost every night. We learned that twin beds do not fit 2 men, but 2 twin beds pushed together make a king. We laughed, we cried. We both learned about what a healthier relationship can look like.

I've dated a lot of trans people over the years. And while it doesn't always work out, it's still beautiful.

That's all really fucking awesome and I thank you for sharing it with me!