#i really convinced myself my dad was at least somewhat trans supportive???

[thecinephale]

I was arguing with my sister about whether Friends was homophobic or not and it led me down a rabbit hole watching a 50 minute supercut of every homophobic/transphobic moment in Friends (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsQ5za-J6I8). Some of it’s really not okay. Some of it actually seems to be commenting on the characters’ homophobia in a way that at least for the time might’ve been progressive. But most of it is just the kind of seemingly innocuous stuff that shapes our culture in a really harmful way. 

Since coming out I’ve had a lot of people ask me why it took until I was 23. Given what I knew about being trans, of course it did. Here is a list of every representation of trans people I saw (that I can remember) in film and tv throughout my childhood and adolescence. 

Friends - Chandler’s parent seems to be a trans woman. It’s somewhat hard to tell because she’s misgendered and dead named by most of the characters. Her attraction to men and wearing of women’s clothing is what Chandler considers to be the root of his emotional problems. She performs at a drag show in Las Vegas, she is very flamboyant, and she’s portrayed as very sexually aggressive (multiple jokes are made out of her coming onto Ross). She is played by Kathleen Turner. I prefer cis women to cis men playing a trans woman but here it just feels like a joke that his “father” could look so “womanly.” Ross and Monica’s dad says, “I didn’t even get to pretend like I’m okay with it” when pulled away at Chandler and Monica’s wedding. Chandler’s “dad” is played as a joke the whole series and any poignancy added when Monica convinces Chandler to invite her to the wedding is lost by the continued jokes at the wedding and throughout the series. Unrelated, Joey says he hooked up with a woman with a big Adam’s Apple. The other five friends comment that women don’t have Adam’s Apples. Joey having hooked up with a trans woman is the joke. I think about this scene all the time.

Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult - Anna Nicole Smith does a silhouetted striptease that ends with the reveal of a penis to Leslie Nielsen’s horror and induced vomiting. It’s funny because her having a penis is SO gross! Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective - Similar but even worse. When Ace Ventura realizes his crush/person he just kissed is a trans woman he has a full Jim Carrey freak out, eating a tube of toothpaste and showering like a cliche sexual assault victim (funny!). Then even worse at the end he reveals that she is trans by forcibly stripping her naked and revealing the outline of her genitalia tucked between her legs. This causes the dozens of cops and detectives witnessing this charade to gag. Because it’s SO gross!!!

Family Guy - There’s probably so much transphobia on this show that I don’t even remember and I certainly haven’t watched this show since high school so who knows with the later seasons. But the most obvious example was the very special episode with Quagmire’s dad coming out. There are a lot of awful jokes I don’t want to dwell on, but the worst is when Brian fills the room with vomit because he slept with her. This vomiting thing seems to be a trend.

Life of Brian - I take issue with Monty Python and lot of British comedy for constantly thinking putting a man in a dress equals comedy. I’m totally fine with sketch shows where men play women characters but the joke can’t be the gender swap. When I first tried wearing dresses outside I couldn’t shake the feeling of being a joke in a Monty Python sketch. Well, here the offense is more direct. Eric Idle’s character “wants to be a woman” and it’s played for laughs with the ultimate conclusion being that he’s detached from reality.

South Park - Similar to Family Guy I’m sure there’s transphobia throughout the series I don’t remember (plus Caitlyn Jenner jokes in recent seasons… yes I still watch for some reason). But the main issue is Mr. Garrison. “He” has gender confirmation surgery and it’s shown very graphically not in cartoon. It’s compared to Kyle wanting to be tall and black and Kyle’s dad wanting to be a dolphin. A lot of attention is given to Garrison’s testicles and ultimately in the show Garrison de-transitions. By the way, he eventually becomes the Trump surrogate and Jenner is the Pence surrogate. So the most anti-LGBTQ administration in decades is represented in the South Park world by two (?) trans people.

The Silence of the Lambs - When the Criterion Blu Ray comes out in a couple months I’m going to rewatch this and finally finish my longer piece on the movie. But we all know this one. Buffalo Bill skins women and dresses in their flesh while tucking her(?) genitals. “Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me” was a commonly repeated phrase thrown around by friends in high school. I think about that scene a lot when I look in the mirror.

Sleepaway Camp - Another in the genre of trans woman killers. The ending of this movie is really horrific. Re-watching it now, I still feel repulsed by Angela. The terrifying music, the slow camera pull back, Angela’s deranged face, the way the shadows make her transgender body look more beast than human. Oh and that she’s just dropped a human head on the ground. Writing up this list I rewatched a lot of terrible shit, but this one really hurts. Maybe because it’s still such an effective horror movie ending. Maybe because it doesn’t even give Angela any agency. It seems to imply she isn’t trans but was given forced surgery/hormones as a child. I guess this should make it better, but it makes it worse, because it implies trans people were just damaged as children. It really makes me want to cry.

Dog Day Afternoon - This is certainly one of the more sympathetic portrayals on this list even if the trans woman is played by a cis man, Chris Sarandon. Al Pacino’s Sonny robs the bank to get money for his lover’s gender confirmation surgery and the scene between them on the phone is rather poignant. Still, “Leon” is not exactly an enviable character and it all ends in tragedy.

Dressed to Kill - This movie is pretty directly a reimagining of Psycho. That movie isn’t on this list because the doctor explicitly says Norman is not a “transvestite” but it’s harmful influence is still clear. This movie does the opposite. The doctor here very clearly explains that Dr. Elliot “wanted to be a woman” and that’s what led her to kill. Lovely.

The 40 Year Old Virgin - Jay hires Andy a sex worker. She turns out to be a trans woman. Andy leaves. He’s upset at Jay. Many transphobic comments and lots of misgendering occurs. It’s a real hoot.

All About My Mother/Bad Education - I love Pedro Almódovar and I appreciate that he has always included trans characters and even cast trans actors sometimes. I don’t take issue with either of these movies. I personally didn’t see myself in them but sex work, HIV, and sexual abuse are all common experiences and totally have a place in stories about trans women. I haven’t seen either of these films since I was in high school and I’d be interested in revisiting them now.

Twin Peaks - David Duchovny plays Denise, a trans woman. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the character, I suppose. But it also feels like including her is just to add further idiosyncrasy to Lynch’s world. Just like having a character called the One Armed Man is ableist. Lynch is gonna Lynch, but this character played by a cis man is certainly not some great representation like the revival seems to want to paint it as.

Dallas Buyers Club - Jared Leto’s Rayon is both comic relief and tragic masturbation all servicing the story of a cis straight man (in the movie… in real life he was bisexual). She never feels like a real person even as she’s meant to represent so many common experiences. Leto overacts and of course won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. It’s so exhausting being Oscar bait. But I guess it’s better than being a serial killer.

Maybe this explains why it took me until I was 23.