#transmisogny

[crescentalice]

If you're afab and find yourself thinking stuff like "I wish I had a body like a trans woman," I'm gonna need you to stop and ask yourself what you mean by that. Like reeeeally deeply, introspectively ask yourself. Because your answer probably reveals a lot about your hidden biases towards trans women. Do you want a penis? Great, but not all trans women have those, and it's really weird to try and define a whole group of people by their genitals. Do you want to look more masculine? Because, and I really hope I don't need to say this, viewing/defining trans women as "more masculine women" is super transphobic and fucked up and you need to stop viewing us like that immediately. There are no meaningful universal differences between cis and trans bodies you can define that do not in some way reduce us to our anatomy and/or stereotypes about us. So, instead of comparing yourself to whatever imaginary idea of trans women you have in your head, just be yourself. Explore your body and gender on your own terms, but please, leave us out of it.

[anarcho-catboyism]

A lot of discourse could stop if y'all stopped approaching every situation with this idea that your experience is the default one

[textk4kira]

No group of trans people has inherent power/privilege over another group of trans people.

Trans men are not your oppressors.

Trans women are not your oppressors.

Nonbinary people, regardless of AGAB, are not your oppressors.

It is important to interrogate your own biases towards your fellow trans people.

Oftentimes, a decent place to start would be to make friends with Other trans people. You'll probably find that you have much more in common with them then you realize.

I'm a transmasc demigirl, if you'd like to know more about our community and my experiences, please feel free to leave a comment, send a dm or send an ask.

Edit: June 8th, 2024 addition

Please do not cite classism or any other form of discrimination some kind of 'gotcha moment'.

I am well aware of how intersecting identities can compound to form unique forms of oppression.

Thank you for reading.

[verygoodestboy]

the way white queers ascribe sainthood to Black trans women and completely ignore Black trans men and Black nonbinary people has convinced me more than anything else that they really truly don’t care about any Black trans people beyond wearing us as a little badge they can show off to prove they’re The Good Ones

[mlmshark]

Idk why people are constantly trying to put transmascs and transfems at odds because sometimes I just scroll through both of our tags and genuinely tear up at how beautiful it is to be part of this community and the hope we have. Seriously fuck people who keep trying to take that away from us

[ventbloglite]

I think we need to sit down and talk about malgendering.

Not misgendering, malgendering.

We all know what misgendering means. Misgendering is when a trans person (or to be honest, even a cis person) has their gender denied to them in some fashion by implying, suggesting or outright stating that their gender is actually Something Else and not the one they identify as.

e.g. A trans woman being told she cannot attend a certain class because it's 'just for women'.

Malgendering is when the trans persons gender is not questioned or denied and may even be affirmed - but only in a context in which it can be used against them in some fashion (to make judgements on them as a person, to exclude them from something, to incite bigotry towards them etc).

e.g. That same trans woman taking her shirt off on a hot day and being arrested for indecent exposure.

This is misgendering;- "You're not a woman, you're a man." This is malgendering;- "Trans women are women, so obviously they exist to serve men."* *obvs it is also transmisogyny and all malgendering is transphobia.

But what you don't want to hear is that malgendering is a form of transphobia mainly used against trans masculine people and nonbinary people.

Most people recognise malgendering when it's;

Using the term 'theyfab' to ridicule an agender person or making jokes about how an agender they/them user looks (to you) to be a completely cis woman.

But you need to look out for how;

Malgendering is treating trans men like their transition has turned them into women-hating predators because of your own predjudices towards men/trans man were always inherently women-hating predators because maleness is what makes you those things not your actual thoughts, words and actions.

Malgendering is not listening to how trans masc people are marginalised 'because men aren't oppressed though' as if that's not ignoring a huge part of their identity (the being trans part) and how that works.

Malgendering is telling trans men 'this is just what it's like to be a man, people treat you like shit and you have to take it or not transition'.

Malgendering is insisting that any trans man who calls any attention to the fact that he is indeed, trans, and has/had female anatomy and faces misogyny due to being raised and still perceived (by transphobes) as a woman is misgendering himself, all other trans men and 'weaponising his AFABness'

All of this is transphobia. All of this is bigotry. This kind of predjudice and bullying doesn't magically become 'OK' once you find the 'right' group to do it to. You either want to end bigotry and transphobia and identity-specific targetted hate or you want to perpetuate it. But you can't call yourself a trans ally, or escape the bigotry allegations whilst malgendering people. And no you're not being sneaky by slipping in your hateful predjudice comments and actions whilst validating their gender.

Malgendering is transphobia.

[sirbun]

one day misogyny will die out and, in turn, radfeminism and terfism will die out too and men and women will be best friends forever and never have to fight again

[growing-past-me]

Op turned off reblogs but I think everyone should see it

[dreadfulman]

Love that there's a contingency of people reacting to the UK ruling as if it's crazy and laughable that it could effect anyone other than trans woman. And by love I mean "grimly amused by people's aversion to think beyond a surface level even when it's against their best interests." Because I've been seeing other trans people talk about how it only affects trans women and I want to put my head through a wall because no dipshit this has your ass in the line of fire too.

It does not take a huge amount of brain power to ask "would it possibly be terrible for some trans people to be forcibly legally trapped in womanhood? The same way it is terrible for others to be forcibly legally denied it?" And the answer is yes it is violently stripping people's self determination from them in order to force them into humiliating, unsafe, and outright dangerous situations. This is very bad. This goes double for intersex people who are already constantly under threat from a rigid sex binary being violently enforced on them, and drawing sharp lines in the sand around a specific gender does not bode anything well for folks with atypical or varied chromosomes/sex characteristics.

It is darkly funny that some people are incapable of seeing this as anything other than a dangerous blow against trans women specifically, because while I'm sure a lot of people just refuse to think about it for longer than ten seconds, I can't help but wonder how many of them see it this way because they've internalised the fight for trans rights as being inextricably linked with the right to be a woman. I do not think some people can entirely process that many people don't want to be women.

[poison-doll]

okay yes we are all affected by transmisogyny under patriarchy but do u think that maybe there is a particular gender demographic that is distinctly affected in ways that other demographics are not. do u think that it would be useful to have language to discuss that difference

[mschelle]

Well hot damn if it wasn't enough for this loser to throw a public tantrum now he's going out of his way to follow predestrogen on other platforms and start harassing her there!!! You can't hide these Matt I got the screenshots lol!!!!!!

HE'S BLATANTLY LYING OUT OF HIS ASS!! SPREAD IT AROUND!! And also since she seems to be from Ireland even though I don't even know shit about eu laws from what little I do know this is a big violation of GDPR and should be reported as such!! https://commission.europa.eu/law/law-topic/data-protection/reform/rights-citizens/redress/what-should-i-do-if-i-think-my-personal-data-protection-rights-havent-been-respected_en

[kalamity-jayne]

One of the revelations from CEO Matt's public meltdown over trans women that isn't really being talked about much but is nevertheless mindblowing to me:

WHAT IN THE CRISPY KENTUCKY FRIED FUCK!?!?!

Like, did everyone else already know that there was apparently someone on moderation who was effectively bounty hunting trans women and I'm just the last to know or what?

[verygoodestboy]

watching people complain about the transmisogynistic culture on this website and try to pin it on “terminally online transgender men” instead of cisgender people who would love for all of us to get banned from the site forever and maybe fucking die about it is so fucking insane

Like do you genuinely think we’re not all on the same side here??? What the fuck are you talking about!!!!! Explain it!!!!!!

[scienceandfandoms]

I know this has been said before, more eloquently and by larger and more popular people than I, but it NEEDS to be stressed that Matt's actions aren't just "haha thin skinned CEO felt threatened by hammer car" he is a transmisogynist attempting to justify (and enable other transmisogynists to justify) the repeated harassment of a trans woman, as part of this site and the world's increasing violence against trans women.

I understand the jokes and the memes. I've reblogged a few myself. But if that isn't paired with actually discussing and shining a light on the ACTUAL transmisogyny issue, and supporting trans women both on this site and in your life, you are missing the point and failing trans women.

[jellyfemmedyke]

is it just me or is the "trans guys are just some boring guys and they make lame music and trans women are cool and interesting and make loud music" jokes almost like. an excuse for why theres not that many trans guys who are popular content creators or musicians or actors or authors or what have you. like blaming the invisibility of trans men on being "boring" and therefore not doing anything rather than oppression.

not to mention the example of music being that people have heard of one singular trans guy who works in a genre they dont like [people really love to act like cavetown is like specifically bad or cringe but thats just what most indie pop/rock/folk sounds like] and theyve heard of a handful of trans women who make hyperpop that they already like [and laura jane grace of course] and its really telling on themselves. theres trans guys making hyperpop and trans women making ""lame ukulele music"" and both of them and nonbinary people making music of tons of other genres. like. cmon. it reminds me of xkcd 385.

also i dont think these jokes are intentionally malicious or anything [most of the time] but it also feels sort of weird to be joking about how boring a group of marginalized people are. im not going to act like its the biggest deal in the world but its sort of low level bullying, innit? and i imagine having this weird expectation to be "cool and interesting" isnt fun for trans women either. its nice to get to be lame sometimes.

Yeah it's super weird, especially because it's repeated over and over, that part is the suspicious part. I even saw it on reddit a few days ago in one of the ftm subs. I do think it's like blaming the lack of trans men artists on trans men being "boring" instead of, you know the bigotry, the erasure, the inequality I think it's also a weird expectation that we all HAVE to live up to what other people think of as "cool" like if we're all not making hardcore metal and being as "SICK" as humanly possible, we are failing at transgender music and therefore are the reason trans men aren't represented as artists enough, which is ummm. okay.

why can't we make soft love songs about being bugs, or whatever. What happens to trans women who don't live up to the metal hardcore aesthetic? Look at Dylan Mulvaney. She made a dumb cutsie girlypop song and everyone acted like she is the founder of misogyny herself. So not only are we ridiculed for the music we make, we're trapped in transphobic expectations of what music we can or should make.

If you expect all trans women to make metal, you'll only see trans women who make metal, if you expect all trans men to make soft music, that's all you'll find! because that's all you looked for! Another thing is like, Oh all trans women music is cool and hardcore rock and roll, but trans men music is dumb and cutsie ukulele music? I wonder what gender those genres are normally associate with? Uhoh we're doing a sexism maybe the person making the joke doesn't have malicious intent, but the joke itself sure does.

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

I’m so fucking tired of this stupid fucking resurgence of people arguing that misandry is real or a coherent form of oppression at all so I wanna address this more directly. Most of the arguments I’ve seen rely on the fact that men are harmed and constrained by the patriarchy, and you know what, that’s true!

But cis people are harmed and constrained by the existence of the gender binary. That doesn’t mean that cisphobia is real. Straight people are harmed and constrained by heteronormativity, but that doesn’t make heterophobia real.

I really thought this stuff was obvious but I guess it isn’t. I need all of you who are complaining about “misandry” to understand that you sound like the down with cis bus post