#i refuse to believe that it's just devs being lazy

[wentian]

*preaching* it is his sword, yanqing is using yingxing's old sword. it probably was reforged to suit yanqing but they're too similar in design to not be sisters. no i do not accept criticism, i'm right, it's blade's old s...

[poptropi-caw]

i think people seem to be missing the point of prince’s character and by making this post i do not mean to invalidate anyone’s experiences or personal beliefs, i just wanna express my opinion.

content warning for mentions of child abuse

a common fanon interpretation of prince is that hes a sad, scared, abuse victim, and while it is a huge possibility that he has been abused by his parents, i don’t really believe he’s the “umu sad trauma boy” people make him out to be.

the point of fairytale island was to subvert expectations and to put a twist on common fairytale tropes. (ex: what if the big bad wolf was actually nice, what if cinderella realized she didn’t need magic glass slippers, etc.) this directly ties in with snow white and the prince. you would expect white to be waken up by prince’s kiss, but that’s not the case, she’s awaken by her love for animals, and instead of prince being a handsome, charming, and brave man… he’s just a guy who sits on the staircase and cries. it’s clear that the island is trying to subvert your expectations in this way because it literally shows a fountain of prince that looks like this.

and then when you look up he actually looks like this

i think a lot of people also ignore that he’s a bit lazy… he literally refuses to work because he’s a prince. the entire point of his character (at least originally for fairytale island, idk the new devs love rewriting pop lore) is that he’s an incompetent rich coward. (i know it sounds mean but i genuinely believe this is how the pop devs wanted us to see him as on the island)

my point is that i wish people would at least acknowledge that prince has flaws like this. im mostly saying this because i myself have been abused in the same way a lot of people headcanon his abuse as, and i think that bringing up his flaws and explaining how they could’ve been caused from his mistreatment by his parents could be a way to make his character deeper than just “hes a sad boy who has done nothing wrong and his parents are the worst”

i apologize if this was hard to understand or if this was possibly offensive in any way. im open to more discussion about prince if anyone would like to talk about him :) okay thats all bye

[asmolemmeeatyouout]

Clearing out the drafts so

Random hc’s for the boys

That I don’t wanna even try organise

CW: one non graphic mention of gore

Lucifer has misophonia, he hides it well but does frequently bend/break cutlery because of it.

(Catch Satan chewing as loud as he possibly can)

👾Levia👾chan👾🥺😳😩😖😣🍥😓😥🤢🤢🤮🥉🥉🥉 texts 🐒😈📱 📲 like 👍 🤗💃 this 😊 😊 😊 🥵 🥵😣😣😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖😖🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭😏😏🤯

(🙌 Yes 🙌 👍 👏 it’s 👋 🙋‍♀️ every 💫 💫 💫 text 🙈 ☺️ 🙈 . 🚫 No 🚫 you 👨 👩 cannot 👅👀👅 make 👉👈👉👈 👁👄👁him 🛑 stop 🛑😈👿😈 ‼️❕‼️🐠 (<Henry)

Will role play as Henry (the fish, specifically) while texting you when he’s too shy to ask you things, the only hint you get is him ending every text like with ALL the fish emojis. If you refer to him as Levi not Henry during this he will SULK.

Calls your texting dry af if you don’t send at LEAST four emojis with every message

The best subtle magic belphie has is his sheets are always crisp and new

Like every night is shaved leg fresh sheets night smooth

His magic only works on his sheets so he sneaks his other washing in with beels the lazy git

Beel knows he just doesn't care

Beel does the most laundry out of the brothers bc he eats in bed CONSTANTLY

(He also eats everything he spills but that's not gonna stop the spaghetti stains- or the punishment from Lucifer when he accidently swallows the sheet too)

Beel once chewed belphies hair in his sleep

This is the main reason the twins have separate beds

If belphies asleep somewhere and wants a cuddle he will just kidnap the nearest person if no ones around, this includes little d’s and lessor demons, his magic will put them to sleep fast enough it can’t be stopped

Asmo’s body changes with trends (its fucked that body types have trends), but the devildom is slower in its trend rotation which is why he’s currently obsessed with the 2000’s esque stature (give 👏 us 👏 fat 👏 asmo 👏! ! !)

Levi has the FATTEST ass around (and cute little love handles and a soft belly, boy sits on his ass all day no way he’s ripped)

(Still has demon strength tho, but his human glamour is much less intimidating than his true demon self (think @waltnut 's form hc’s)

Satan’s whole feather boa getup is literally a cat toy. He wears it to entice cats he knows it’s ugly.

Asmodeus will take and wear your clothing without asking. This includes underwear, I suggest you get a lock for your closet.

Beel has FRECKLESS HES A FUCKING GINGER GIVE HIM FRECKLES OR GIVE ME DEATH DEVS !,!

In line with this, the first time beel went to the human world he burnt tomato red under the sun. He was not aware sunscreen was a thing due to the whole perma night devildom thing.

Stoner! Mammon supremacy

(he also deals coke bc moneeeeyyyy) (lucifer doesn’t care as long as it’s not in the house, drugs aren’t a. Illegal in the devildom, and b. that harmful to demons, it’s also his most respectable way of getting Grimm considering all his other hijinxs)

Asmo once convinced Satan to wear a sexy cat costume for a Halloween party

Satan had a sexual-identity-furry crisis in the bathroom

Devildom clothing isn’t gendered,

Asmodeus has been banned from wearing skirts in professional settings due to uh *coughcough* “accidental” flashing. (The same with crop tops/bras/see-through shirts)

Mammon and lucifer are scary similar in some respects like:

Lucifers receiving love language is physical touch and BOY is he starved. Touch his head and he will full body shudder black out for a second. Most people assume it’s acts of service bc he’s so overworked but that’s his giving, duh. (Try touch his neck and your wrist will be broken before you get close)

It’s why he wears gloves everywhere (also bc scars from the war, but I don’t remember the @ I heard that from first and I don’t wanna steal :) )

Mammon’s receiving love language is also physical touch, lucifer’s pride stops them from helping each other.

Lucifer will mock you if you get too close to his insecurities as a defence mechanism, it’s why mammon refuses to hug him even though they both need it.

Mammon just flat out denies his needs and emotions (partially due to lucifer’s defence response, partly bc him&co being abs assholes)

Mammon and asmo share the same music taste (which is GAY pop -think rina sawagama comme des garçons, Britney, gaga, montero- (I’m sry I don’t know more pop))

Asmodeus is the ‘tell you things that you think are tmi or too personal but actually mean nothing to me’ kind of honestly dishonest so no one knows his true feelings/can hurt him (me too baby !)

Beel is the only brother open about his emotions because he’ll just eat you if you dare make fun of him

Mammon offers beel food on really bad days because he’s too afraid of being mad fun of to just ask for a hug and beel showers anyone that gives him food in affection

Asmodeus LIKES violence, he thinks blood and gore is sexy, but he keeps that side of him very private as to not taint his perfect image and lower his chances of getting laid

(there are rumours and myths about what the avatar of lust likes to do to people who truly piss him off, but they’re so far removed from the Asmodeus everyone knows and loves that no one really believes them. Which is just how asmo likes it)

ALL the boys are obsessed with touching/stroking your neck/nape because there’s so much fragility there and it’s a huge sign of trust for a demon

Mammon is always warm

Levi is always cold (blooded)

When Satan gets really angry, objects near him just burst into flames

Okay I’m done now, thank u for reading !! :)

*** think I tagged the wrong creator gonna go find the right url soz guys !! (But also do check out @decaffeinated-demons they’ve got super cool ideas)

[skiller0dani]

S O U R | Chapter 3

Street Racer!Luke AU. ENJOY. Masterlist

WORD/PHRASE FOR THE CHAPTER:

Friends With Benefits  noun | english /two friends who engage in sexual activities with no romantic emotions for each other/ 

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR |

SAYING IT WAS awkward in the apartment was an understatement. Hazel had known Luke since she was a child but for the first time, she didn’t know how to talk to him- or how to even approach him. Does she act like nothing happened? Or should she address it? Unsurprisingly the second idea sounded far worse than the first one. Hazel bounced her knee nervously as she clutched her purse- as far as she knew Luke and her were still going to dinner. Luke hadn’t emerged from his room yet and Hazel waited on the couch, her nerves beginning to build. Her palms kept sweating and she kept wiping them on her jeans, what on Earth was taking him so long? Normally Hazel would go knock on his door, or yell for him to hurry up but right now she was downright terrified of being in the same room as him let alone speaking to him. Hazel honestly felt like she destroyed their entire friendship- all because she let her little sexual fantasy of Luke spiral out of control. She rested her head back against the couch when she heard his door open. Hazel’s head snapped up in a second when Luke entered the living room, and when she saw him her jaw dropped. He had a loose tank top on, revealing most of his chest underneath it- and his black jeans were so tight she saw the entire outline of his cock through them. 

“Ready?” He asked, a small smirk on his face when he saw Hazel’s reaction. Hazel blushed at his heated gaze and nodded nervously before standing on shaky legs. Luke had been pining over Hazel for years and now he knew that she felt the same way- the revelation made him feel almost giddy. Luke held the door open for her and watched her nearly stumble out of the apartment, the anxiety was rolling off her in waves. The walk to his car was silent, and Hazel didn’t know if Luke’s silence was a good or bad thing. Was he angry? He was acting like nothing even happened, did she make him feel uncomfortable now? “Where to?” Luke asked once they were sat in the car and Hazel stole a nervous glance over at him. His hand rested on the top of the steering wheel as he made his way out of the parking lot, and Hazel couldn’t stop looking at his goddamn arms. Did he start working out? She doesn’t remember Luke being this fit. Her eyes dance down his chest, slowly and rising with every breath and she wants nothing more than to press lazy kisses on every inch of his skin. “Um y-you pick.” Hazel stammered, trying to subtly rub her legs together as she feels the throbbing from her core. 

Luke doesn’t respond as he pulls out onto the main road, turning on the radio- thanking the Gods that In The Dark by Dev is on right now. Hazel feels warmth spread through her entire body when she hears the raunchy lyrics, and feeling even more turned on when she notices how calm and collected Luke is. “Uh- how was work?” Hazel asks as casually as she can, cringing at the shakiness in her voice. Luke smiles, “boring.” He says simply, not wanting to go into details of his job seeing as he steals cars for a living. Hazel chews on her bottom lip- a nervous habit she picked up after her mom died. “Hey do you remember when we kissed?” Luke asked and Hazel’s eyes widened in surprise. When have they kissed? Confusion is written on her face as she slowly looks over at Luke, “when we were kids?” He asks, a small teasing smile on his face when her cheeks heat up. Hazel nods, unsure of where he’s going with this. “Was just thinking about if your lips still feel the same.” He says slowly, his voice low. Hazel blushes even harder- if that’s even possible at this point. Without another word, Luke pulls over in the parking lot of some Chinese restaurant. 

“Hey Hemmings,” a gruff snaps from behind Hazel as they exit the car. Hazel looks towards Luke, seeing his shoulders tense. “Hey Levi,” Luke says through clenched teeth, turning and looking the man in the eyes. Hazel feels nervous as Levi approaches her so she moves next to Luke, reaching out to wrap a nervous hand around his arm. “Didn’t realize you had a girlfriend mate,” Levi snaps, his Australian accent thickening. Hazel’s eyes widen as she stays behind Luke, “yeah there’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Luke snaps back and Hazel can feel the tension between the two men. Levi saunters closer to Luke, being a few inches shorter than Luke. “Where’s my car mate?” Levi asks, crossing his arms and Luke’s jaw clenches. He gently pushes Hazel further behind him- trying to shield her from Levi. “Jobs a job man.” Luke says calmly, his eyes hard on Levi. He watches as Levi steps even closer to him, their chests brushing together, “I want my fucking car back.” He snaps, his voice low and dangerous. Luke keeps his eyes on Levi, not even blinking. “I don’t know where it is. Talk to Alex.” Luke hisses, his fists beginning to curl. Levi smiles sarcastically as he steps back, and in an instant Levi is swinging his fist right towards Luke. His fist collides with Luke’s jaw, causing Luke to stumble back a few steps. Hazel gasps, stumbling backwards as Luke spits out blood. Luke turns, with fire in his eyes as he punches Levi in the right cheek. 

Levi turns to storm towards Luke again when Hazel rushes forward without thinking. “Stop!” She squeals, standing in front of Luke, her eyes wide and her heart racing in her chest. “Next time, your girlfriend won’t be there to protect your sorry ass.” Levi snapped before turning and storming off- leaving Luke and Hazel alone together. Hazel turned, seeing Luke’s lip split open again, “who was that?” She asks in a quiet voice. Luke leans against the hood of his car, wiping the blood off his lip with the back of his hand. “Nobody important.” Luke snapped, not looking at Hazel. “Luke, that guy- he punched you. Why is this not a big deal to you?” Hazel snaps, her voice rising. Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it. When the hell did he start smoking? “Luke, seriously tell me what the hell that was about!” Hazel yelled, growing frustrated with all the secrets he’s been keeping from her. Luke stood from his car and stood directly in front of Hazel, “let it go Haze. It’s safer if you don’t know anything. Now can we eat? I’m starving.” Luke said softly and Hazel knew he wasn’t going to tell her. She’s never met anybody more stubborn than Luke. She let out a sigh and followed him into the restaurant, surprised when he kept his cigarette lit and in his mouth. They were sat outside, mostly because Luke refused to put out his cigarette. 

“You’re different.” Hazel says at last, her voice so soft Luke almost didn’t hear her. He raises a brow at her, “you smoke, you get in fights, you illegally street race- you’re not that sweet boy from the suburbs that I remember.” She says sadly, worried about Luke and the path he’s chosen to walk down. Luke leans forward against the table, putting out his cigarette butt before looking up at her. “Yeah, I grew up Hazel. Needed to make my way in this world.” He says casually, as if that explains all his bizarre behavior and secrets. “That’s bullshit and you know it.” Hazel snaps, feeling both angry and sad. She just can’t believe how different he is, he seems so...lost. “I don’t know what you want me to say Hazel. I moved to the city and toughened up. You can’t be soft, sweet, and innocent- especially in the crowd I run around with.” Luke snaps, his eyes averting away from hers. Hazel rolled her eyes, crossing her arms. “Toughened up? You’re a completely different person Luke!” Hazel choked, tears building in her eyes. Luke’s eyes darkened as he leaned back in his chair, “so if I’m so different and you hate the ‘new’ me so much then why the fuck were you moaning my name?” Luke snapped and Hazel’s eyes widened. She pushed up from the table and stormed through the gate and towards the parking lot, tears sliding down her cheeks. Hazel heard Luke’s chair screech as he stood up and sure enough she heard his footsteps behind her. 

“Hazel!” He called, but she kept walking- clear past his car and towards the sidewalk. Hazel felt so many different emotions she thought she was going to explode. She was angry at Luke for being so mean, angry at herself for caring so much, embarrassed Luke caught her masturbating, and embarrassed that he called her out on it. “Just stop for one fucking second.” He snapped, his voice sounding closer. Finally she felt his hand wrap around her arm, pulling her to stop. She kept her arms crossed as tears continued to fall down her cheeks, “look I know I’m different- but this is just who I am now, nobody stays the same Hazel.” Luke explained softer than before, but there was still an edge to his tone. She trembled as the wind blew, refusing to look at him. “Eventually you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on, I want my best friend back.” Hazel snapped, her voice watery as she finally looked up at him. Luke sighed, and Hazel wasn’t sure if he was still angry or not- she knew she definitely was. Hazel turned to hesitantly walk back to Luke’s car, knowing it was too dangerous to walk back this late at night. Luke leaned in to her surprising her as he whispered, “it’s okay that you moan my name, because I moan yours too.” He brushed past her, leaving her eyes wide open and that annoying and familiar ache between her thighs. 

The drive back to the apartment was awkward to say the least. It was filled with uncomfortable silence, sexual tension, and not much else. When they got back to the building, Hazel was surprised to see Luke exit the car and start heading inside without waiting for her. She locked his car door and jogged to catch up with him but by the time she saw him he was already pushing into their apartment, again not waiting to hold the door for her like he normally would. Hazel squeezed through the closing door, letting it fall shut behind her with a click. She stood nervously as Luke turned to look at her, his eyes dark and his pupils blown wide. With a few long strides Luke was standing in front of her, his hands cupping her cheeks and he pulls her lips to connect with his. Hazel froze for a second before her hands tugged at the shorter strands of his hair, his tongue swiping across her bottom lip. Hazel parted her lips a little allowing Luke access as he pulled her body flush with his. She felt Luke grind his hardening cock against her clothed heat, causing a muffled whine to fall from her lips. Butterflies fluttered to life in her stomach when Luke’s hands slid down her body to roughly grab her ass. Hooking his hands under her ass he lifted her in the air easily, causing Hazel to wrap her legs around his waist. Without pulling his lips away from hers, Luke walked them back to his room and kicked the door open. 

Luke laid her down on the bed, his bedside lamp softly dimming the room. “Is this okay? I know you’ve never...” Luke trailed off, his chest heaving and his hard cock pressed against his jeans. Hazel kept her hands on his shoulders, the aching and throbbing in her core becoming unbearable. “Yes it’s fine just- Luke please do something,” Hazel whined, writhing beneath him as he smirked. Luke feathered his hands down her sides before grabbing at the hem of her shirt, but he paused and raised a brow as if asking permission. Hazel nodded immediately, leaning up so Luke could pull the useless fabric off her heated body. His fingers lightly danced over her skin, causing goosebumps to rise as she groaned in annoyance, “Luke c’mon-” She began before he kissed her again. “Patience baby.” He said softly, the pet name causing another pulse through her core and up her body. Reaching behind her, Luke expertly undid her bra with one hand. “Can I?” He asked before pulling her bra all the way off and Hazel nodded, beginning to feel nervous. They’ve been best friends for a long time but they’ve never seen each other anywhere close to naked. “How many times have you done that before?” Hazel asked, unable to even hide the jealousy in her tone. Luke smiled at her, pressing a gentle kiss to her collarbone, “don’t ruin the moment.” He mumbled against her skin- well I guess that’s her answer. Luke stared down at her breasts, his cock beginning to ache in it’s restraint. Leaning down Luke gently pressed feather light kisses to the swells of her breasts, watching with a small smile as her nipples slowly hardened. 

“Has anyone ever touched you like this baby?” Luke asked huskily, his voice deepening with lust. Hazel shivered at his words, “n-no.” She nervously stammered as Luke’s thumbs brushed over her hardening nipples. Luke leaned down, smiling at he pressed teasing kisses around her right nipple. “Good,” he whispered before latching his mouth to her nipple, gently pulling it between his teeth. Hazel gasped, her fingers twisting into the sheets as Luke reached up to pinch her other nipple. “Oh God Luke,” Hazel moaned, her hand reached up to grab his hair, trying to keep his mouth firmly pressed to her nipple. Hazel felt her legs wet with her slick as Luke switched nipples. “Oh my God Luke, please I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside me.” Hazel begged, causing Luke’s already hard cock to twitch in his pants. Luke smiles again, beginning to press kisses down her body. “Hold on baby, I gotta get you ready first.” He smirked, his fingers reaching for the buttons of her jeans. Luke popped the button open and slid down the zipper, hooking his fingers into the waistband of her jeans he slowly pulled the material off. Luke’s mouth practically watered when he saw the damp spot on her white silk panties, with a cute pink little bow on the waistband. “Wait, um Luke can you- can you take something off?” Hazel asked nervously, feeling stupid at how naive she was when it came to this. Luke smirked as he pulled his shirt over his head and stood to unbutton his jeans. 

“Have you done this...a lot?” Hazel asked before she could stop herself. Luke rolled his eyes as he pulled the zipper down, “don’t worry about it. Just enjoy the moment.” Luke said as he kicked his jeans off. Hazel’s eyes watered when she saw his hard on pressed against his boxer briefs, he’s huge. Luke leaned back over her, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before he reached for her panties. Luke looked into Hazel’s eyes, “are you absolutely positive you want to do this? This is a big moment, I’m just making sure you’re okay with losing your virginity...to me.” He asked softly, sounding almost insecure at the end. Hazel pulled Luke to her, pressing her lips to his. “There’s no one else I’d rather lose it to. I want it to be you.” She whispered smiling, Luke nodded before slowly peeling her panties down her milky white thighs. He had to hold himself back when he saw her glistening folds, practically dripping wet because of him. Luke smiled at her as he pressed soft kisses to the insides of her thighs, loving how she whimpered every time he got close to her heated core. “Luke,” Hazel moaned, the sound of his name even sexier than when she was pleasuring herself. Finally Luke pushed his tongue into her folds, causing Hazel to cry out in pleasure. He slid his tongue up and down her folds, his hand reached up to toy with her clit sending sparks of pleasure shooting through her body. “Taste so good baby,” Luke mumbled against her- pulling another moan from her lips as she threw her head back into the pillows. 

“Okay Haze, this is probably gonna pinch.” Luke said, teasing the tip of his finger against her entrance. Slowly Luke slid his finger into her dripping core, the burning and pinching pain radiating through her body. Hazel squeezed her eyes shut until Luke slowly slid his finger out- sparks igniting every nerve in her body as she moaned. Luke began slowly pumping his finger while his thumb rolled circles onto her clit. Hazel began to writhe beneath Luke, now panting. “Luke please please can you get inside me? I need you...” She begged again, unable to wait another second without feeling his cock fill her up and stretch her out. Luke pressed kisses into her neck as he groaned at her begging, “you have to wait just a little longer princess. I have to stretch you open first. Trust me I want to be inside you just as badly baby.” Luke explained, his voice strained as his cock began to ache in his boxers. He continued to pump his finger, slowly pushing another one inside her as his thumb continued to rub slow circles on her clit. “Luke! Oh my God, I- I feel like I’m going to cum,” Hazel whined, her body covered in a thin layer of sweat as she nearly thrashed in pleasure underneath Luke. “Okay baby okay, you can cum.” Luke said, and for some reason Hazel felt like she had to hold it back until Luke gave her his permission. Throwing her head back, Hazel jerked as Luke began scissoring her open. Her orgasm crashed over her, wave after wave as she came down her legs and all over Luke’s hands. 

“Alright Hazel, I think you’re ready for me.” Luke said, feeling so turned on that it literally hurts. Hazel didn’t feel nervous anymore, and she smiled- relieved that she finally gets to feel Luke inside her. Reaching over to his nightstand drawer, Luke grabbed a condom and handed it to Hazel. “Hold that real quick babe,” He says, the pet name making her heart flutter as she came down from her orgasm. Hazel took the condom and held her breath when Luke began pushing his boxers down, his hardened cock springing up and slapping his stomach. Hazel’s mouth dropped open, the head of his cock stopped just a few inches below his belly button. He was 8 1/2 inches easily, “are you...gonna fit?” Hazel asked, her cheeks burning at how stupid the question sounded. Luke smiled at how innocent she was and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “yeah that’s why I stretched you open. Don’t worry Haze- I’ll fit.” Luke explained gently, reaching forward to take the condom from her. Ripping open the condom packet, Luke began rolling it down his cock. He then leaned over her, pressing the head of his cock at her still wet entrance. “Hazel are you sure you-” “Luke shut up and fuck me.” Hazel moaned, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. Reaching up Luke laces one of his hands with Hazel’s, using the other hand to grab at his base as he began to push in. The pinching pain turned to a searing burning pain as Luke continued to slide inside her. Hazel squeezed her eyes shut, the pain becoming unbearable as Luke continued to work himself inside her. 

“Don’t worry, I promise it’ll feel good soon.” Luke promised, pressing a kiss to her temple. Hazel wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her forehead pressing against his shoulder as he continued to push inside her. She could feel every ridge and every ripple on his cock as he stretched her open, and Hazel would be lying if she said she didn’t like feeling this connected to Luke. Pressing a kiss to her neck Luke pushed his hips a little harder, so that he was fully seated inside her. He didn’t move, waiting for her body to adjust to him- listening to her soft breathing as she works through the pain. “God Haze you feel so good around my cock,” Luke groaned, using every ounce of self control to hold himself back- to not hurt her. Slowly the pain began fading away, “you can move, s-slowly though.” Hazel whispered, feeling him gently and slowly slide out of her only to push right back inside her. She moaned loudly, feeling the electricity running through her entire body. Luke set a slow and deep pace, his arms wrapped around her as he thrusted into her, his cock hitting deeper and deeper every time. He kept thrusting, causing Hazel to start panting as she dug her nails into his back. Hazel felt fear creep into the back of her mind, what if this doesn’t mean as much to Luke as it means to her? For Hazel, it feels almost like they’re making love. Hazel bites back a scream as she feels the coil in her stomach winding tighter and tighter as Luke keeps gently thrusting. “I-I’m gonna cum Luke,” Hazel panted, holding it back when Luke didn’t answer. “L-Luke can I please cum?” Hazel all but begged, causing Luke to nearly come. She’s acting like she needs his permission and that is so sexy. “Y-yeah baby, you can come.” He said and as soon as he gave her his permission she was moaning and whining as she squeezed his cock. As soon as he feels her coming around him, Luke comes into the condom. 

Luke slowly pulls out of her and rolls the rubber off his cock before getting up to dispose of it in the trash can. By the time he returns to bed he sees Hazel curled up underneath his sheets, her hair a mess and her cheeks flushed. Luke smiled at the girl lying naked in his bed and leaned down to press a kiss to her temple. Luke lays next her, pulling the blankets over him as he listening to the sounds of her steady breathing- she’s asleep. Luke rubs a hand over his face and he knows now, looking over at that beautiful girl lying next to him he knows- he’s falling in love with her. 

[premayogan]

Engineers' take-home

Engineering take-home tests are a controversial thing. While some employers swear by them, just as many engineers believe they are disrespectful, lazy, and flat out refuse to proceed with interviews that include them.

The truth is: Take-home interviews are awesome, but they're really easy for startups to get disastrously wrong. A good take-home offers several advantages over other testing methods:

It provides a more accurate work sample than whiteboard interviews or timed challenges. It removes the stress that unrealistically high-pressure tests—like timed challenges—induced. It creates easy benchmarks because every engineer should receive the same test. Unfortunately, hiring managers often give out take-home projects that take days to complete, have no relation to the work an engineer will be doing at the company, and stress a potential engineer more than an algorithmic interview would.

To create a take-home that engineers will actually complete, while still giving you a good measure of their abilities, there are three key principles to follow.

The Problem

Several weeks ago, we interviewed a recent college grad. He'd done well on our quiz, had great personal projects, and I was excited to talk to him. As soon as the interview started, however, I could tell that something was wrong. I gave him a programming problem, but he could not get started. He'd start to write one thing, mutter that it was a bad place to start and go back to something else. He switched languages. His breathing accelerated. He started to shake.

Pros:

Can work on it in your pajamas Usually given upwards of a week to work on an assignment Get to use your own editor and dev environment Can be a new addition to the portfolio Usually more fun than whiteboarding

Cons:

Level of difficulty can range drastically Much more effort and time-consuming than coding challenges Can be domain dependent Can lead to feature creep due to competition Doesn’t represent day to day work A lot of engineers prefer to take-home assignments. The timelines for turning them in are usually flexible, and candidates get to actually code. It’s no shock programmers prefer this to stand in front of a whiteboard while being silently judged. However, take-home tests have some major drawbacks. Firstly, they’re easy to manipulate. Many companies host their tests on GitHub. Type in “Challenge” or “Test” into GitHub search and you’ll find plenty. This will give the savvy candidate plenty of time to preemptively research the challenge. That’s not really a complaint. Just more of a pro-tip.

The issue is that it’s easy enough to find other people’s answers to these challenges and copy them? Plenty of engineers keep the answers to take home challenges on their GitHub profiles. You can even test it yourself. Type “ Challenge” into GitHub search and see what you find. I live next to the Etsy headquarters in Brooklyn and was curious if I could find the answers to some of their tests. “Etsy Challenge” revealed four. There were even more under “Etsy Test”. Read the full article

[blackmaileview]

Blackmail movie review: Irrfan Khan, Divya Dutta's dark satire is reviving

Blackmail movie review: Fun filled and reasonable narrating made fascinating with drawing in and entertaining exhibitions of Irrfan Khan and Divya Dutta.

Intriguingly worded as that statement is, it neglects to inform us these Hawaiian fish were clearly meant also to be the movie's audience.  This is a tough movie for anybody who has ever observed a movie before to love, though I will stick out my neck and bet that plastic dummy fish might even be somewhat amused by this movie.

Except for some, many twists in the storyline of Blackmail are sudden and keep up with the disposition of suspense as the personalities tickle our funny bone with their situational humor.

"The next World War will be fought for water and the one thing which will save it's toilet paper"  

When there's something which provides roadblocks inside this otherwise enjoyable ride, it's the slow pace by which Abhinav sets his characters and plot.  The one hour appears extended as this age is barely moved within by the narrative.  It's only towards the second half which rate is picked up by Blackmail.

A life resides also, 1 day, finds his wife in bed with a different guy.  He does not understand what determines to blackmail the guy, and to do, being a person.  This opens a can of worms with characters climbing a setup which should result in unpredictable twists, aboard the bandwagon.  It is excellent material to get a humor, but it needs in least, persuasive style, or, finesse, speed.  

Khan breathes life to the cuckold hero, giving him that the flailing streak of a guy who does not understand how to conduct, and making his own voyeuristic habits seem real, even adoring - although Deo, who directed the uproarious Delhi Belly, attempts ill-advisedly to jolt us with a few absurd scenes between Khan as a pathological masturbator, groan-worthy scenes which don't push the envelope just as much as they create it grubby.  The movie involves Khan picture killing figures - a device the movie leans on exasperatingly - a feeling along with the characters.  

"Jet spray, average middle course invention... it is disgusting!  

Two men within their workplace washroom Making sense is a lot to request.  All that a movie with a complex plot must do is add up.   Blackmail - that starts off with a laundry list of this hero's various money demands, and comes with a cut-rate Fight Club shooter where various household possessions have price tags on them - forgets its math shortly.  Suddenly everyone is being blackmailed by everybody and this is occurring far too with some blackmailers getting paid away while policemen who walk off telling the offenders they will return to detain them and possessing zero proof. Abhinav ensures that the sensible and correct levels of workplace lives and class.  Rather than a increase, the boss of Dev gives work to him -- that the class. If Irrfan's Dev realises his spouse is unfaithful, he believes of different scenario - murdering her, then killing the boy but then settles down to get a more sensible revenge.  The boy is married into the daughter of a corporator, therefore he is blackmailed by Dev .  How much?  Well, that's a calculation of the EMIs and family expenditures of Dev ! He's also the guy who enjoys images of people's wives out of their work desks and masturbates to them at the workplace washroom when everybody has left for the afternoon.   Even though Arunoday and Kirti are apt because of their personalities, it's Divya's Adita - that performs with Arunoday's spouse - that becomes a pillar of functionality to the Dev of Irrfan.

The Blackmail of abhinav Deo delivers moments to cherish and celebrate.  

A couple personalities are, such as a detective played with the Gajraj Rao, or a dominating played with Divya Dutta, however, those celebrities are scuppered by people around them.  The remainder are excruciating.  Omi Vaidya shows up needing to market three-ply bathroom paper with"Russian blondes."  The movie asks a lot of him, and cluelessness is a great color for him personally, although arunoday Singh looks throw as a galoot.   He plays with an obnoxious friend to the protagonist, the type who's up to speed on which Bhabhi is your Whatsapp flavour of this week, a man who says the term"Bhaisaab" as if it had been a paragraph in itself.  It is a component that is scenestealing, but the functionality - like this movie - is forced and horizontal.    

A negative track is created by abhinav in the movie using the boss of Dev.   But then I realised that it is around the signature... of palms.  So we've made our merchandise super soft," Omi says shortly before asking his workers to rub the newspaper onto their lips to sense ! It's refreshing to find a Bollywood film where misogyny and lack of approval are known, even within an zone.

By heading home with a whole lot of roses for his wife, that he passionless marriage and decides to spice up his lifestyle.   This revelation contributes to a succession of events that are outrageous and amusing.

An average middle class guy reaches house to obtain the spouse.  He decides to blackmail them, triggering a series of blackmailing hilarious conditions and situations.  While Kirti is Arunoday Singh essays her boyfriend role and his spouse, irrfan and Dev Kaushal play with the protagonist. Inspection: The middle-class guy is a victim of their own conditions.  He lives a life of entry, so much sothat when presented with a situation of conflict he struggles to perpetrate a crime of passion.  He resigns so it would look.  Blackmail provides an good spin to it and takes this notion.  It takes the daily issues of the man and puts an interesting twist on matters like EMIs, loans and relationships.   Once figures out of Dev's life have to learn of their plans that are blackmailing play unfolds.  It arouses a collection of types, where everybody begins blackmailing somebody for rationale.  Is hilarious.   The speed of this first half is somewhat slow.  The humor remains enjoyable and crisp, although it takes some time to set up the plots.   The scenarios get funny as every plot evolves.  The management of abhinay Deo is on the cash.  Together with Blackmail, he's cracked a different one in this genre Following his humor Delhi Belly.    The rap containing Divine and Trivedi, badla has been utilized and it provides the story and energy.   .  Add to this, there is a song named Sataasat with lyrics to literally shaking off it!  The quirky humor and demonstration of blackmail makes it a joy ride.  Irrfan provides a good performance as the ordinary office man who can not endure to his boss, nor to his adulterous wife.  He keeps a straight face when he is plotting and planning that the blackmail and brings a feeling of helplessness.  There and that is what adds to the hilarity of it all.  Arunoday Singh, as the sporting boy that is poor is a rage.  It is among the greatest performances of his career.  Divya Dutta as dominating spouse and Ranjit's drunken increases the entertainment.  Her landscapes with Arunoday are currently all engaging.  Additionally Kriti Kulhari, is adequate in her role as the wife.  The storyline of Blackmail is its own protagonist and it manages to hit a great balance between funny and dark.  Characters are bumped off, occasionally in events and many detail unfold, but the movie never loses its own vein of simple humour.  This is among the movies that we have seen in quite a while.  

On the other hand, fun filled and realistic storytelling, the performances keep you entertained and engaged.

Blackmail is a movie so insipid I overlooked the Vishesh Films emblem, for all those men would have had appropriate B-movie pleasure with something that meaty and elaborate.  Emraan Hashmi would create a meal of the friend part.  Additionally, the soundtrack could have been a sight better than the raps songs with rhymes Baba Sehgal, in the movie would have refused because of their laziness.  

Sample any stone Blackmail does not look like an actual picture, to start out with.  The cinematography is cluttered, the light poor, the colors miserable.  The tackiness is so pronounced that it seems intentional, like the filmmakers tried to show us life during the bleary eyes of the protagonist, however, things remain shoddy if he is not on screen.  Because of the hero is Irrfan Khan, they make worse.  Only the fish stay when he is not around.  

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This whole thing started about 5 years ago and I was inspired to rehash the journey when I happened upon a post I’d made back in Dec. 2012 on the Fires of Heaven gaming forums. tl;dr - So, after nearly 5 years of failing at SASS, within two months we did $147,000 in sales and if nothing changes (even if we don’t add a single customer) we’ll do a little over $350,000 in sales next year. Given, our current sales are more like cash advances, but it’s still cash-in-hand. Also, we’re currently in talks with another company that wants to test our product with one of their crews, and if they buy in, it would push our sales to over $1,000,000 next year. In my business plan, I’d assumed we’d need at least 50 companies in our system to hit that number in sales, but we could potentially do with 3 and within the first year of actual sales. PART 1To give some context, LL is a SASS product in the timber industry and at this point we’ve spent over 4 years pursuing it. We spent the first 3 years with one guy and pushed out a web app and two android apps, which eventually sputtered, and 1.5 more years going back to the drawing board, raising startup capital, and doing things “the right way”. In other posts on Fires of Heaven I’d mentioned that our developer for LL had overcommitted himself and was moving slowly. This trend continued and really never remedied itself. I think this occurred because of two major issues that I’m sure most startups make: We hired poorlyOur developer already had an app on the market that was bringing him cashflow, so he didn’t need our app to be successful. He was already content and that’s bad.We traded him equity up front in exchange for his time, which created a huge issue six months into development, where he was less-and-less motivated to work. He was already vested and wasn’t getting paid, so it’s understandable. Giving up leverage up front is bad. Don’t reward people for doing nothing, reward them for doing good somethings.He was a back-end-only guy, who tried to wear the designer hat, didn’t ask for help when he needed it, and made way too many executive decisions. He was sort of a loner who didn’t work/communicate well with others. He was a nice guy, but lacked process and the ability to communicate.He didn’t develop on a framework, which bit us on the ass over-and-over again. Spaghetti code is bad. We didn’t spend enough time planningI took our developers word on a lot of stuff and chose to be lazy instead of being diligent and checking up on the software’s progress. This was exacerbated by his lack of willingness to communicate and propensity to get red-faced if he was questioned.We didn’t integrate the design/development process until later in the dev process, which should’ve been done up front. It also tangled up in our hire, where our developer refused any changes and took any suggestions as a direct insult.Which, ultimately left us with an interface of Frankenstein proportions.Scope creep. When you don’t have a design and someone’s building software based on assumptions and what you tell him, you’re going to have scope creep. You’re going to have some much mf’ing scope creep you’ll think it’ll never end. It won’t. The first mistake lended itself to the second mistake. I still remember the day we met with our developer for the first time, presented our site-map and a simple user-flow, asked if he had any questions, and he responded, “Nope. I got it! I’ll get started right away.” I still remember being shocked and confused by the response. “Really? You don’t have a single question? This is pretty extensive software…” I do, however, remember my Dad being impressed and excited by the response, which I think was due to his lack of knowledge around software design/dev more than anything. This sort of shoot-from-the-hip attitude quickly became the norm and about a year later we were trying and failing to onboard our first customer. I think it was around the Summer of 2014. My Dad and our developer went to meet the customer in person and get him started. Everyone was excited and I was waiting to get a phone call talking about a successful launch. To make a long story short, our developer couldn’t even get him signed up. To this day I cannot comprehend how this even happens, but I’ll point again to #2 on the “major issues” docket. About 6 months prior to this we’d totally redesigned the site and hired a front-end guy to come in a put the UI together. Before this, the software was a total clusterf*$ and nearly impossible to navigate, so it was a necessity. I spent a lot of time with a designer getting everything right and then again with the front end guy to get it translated. Once we got it into the hands of our developer, he totally half-assed the integration. I was pissed. When I called him on it he was legitimately shocked. I couldn’t believe it. He insisted that he’d done his best, wasn’t a designer, wasn’t a front end guy, and had been left holding the bag to get everything done and out the door while my Dad and I twiddled our thumbs. Mind you he never asked for help or direction during the integration, did it all in one foul swoop, and then cried foul when I got pissed. It was at this moment that I knew we were fucked. I guess what I felt in that moment was the same feeling people get when they realize they’re in a shitty relationship for the first time. And I was most certainly in a shitty relationship. If I questioned his design choices, he’d get mad and say he wasn’t a designer. When I presented him with designs, he’d half-bake them into the software no-questions-asked and then get mad when I questioned them. The weirdest one was the whole design thing, because he would consistently emphasize the fact that he wasn’t a designer or a front end guy and then lose his mind if I was critical of design choices or front end dev choices he’d unilaterally made. Anyways, I realized that this was a bad cycle that was only going to repeat itself. After the failed launch, I upped my cries for parting ways with the developer, which had only been subtle asides in conversation up until this point. It probably took 3-4 months for my Dad to get onboard with the idea. You see he’d been the one going to the developers house everyday to motivate him to work, make sure things were getting done and hold him accountable. I’m not shitting you. My Dad went to his house everyday, because if he didn’t, nothing would get done. Work only got done when my Dad was there. So, he went nearly everyday when there were a million other things he could’ve/should’ve been doing. My Dad didn’t want to split with the developer, because he felt like we’d come so far and actually had something going. FOMO is very real. I mean we had an MVP of sorts and people wanted to use it. It drove him (and me) crazy that it was always so close to being finished, yet so far due to design flaws in the system (like the fact that we couldn’t sign up our first customer). I told my Dad, as many times as it took, and it took several, “Look, I get it. We’ve come a long way and we kind of have a system here, but we tried to launch it with someone and he couldn’t even get them signed up! What’s going to happen the next time? Why would we expect things to go differently in the future? He’s not even developing on a platform and every time we scale the software gets worse. If we don’t do something different we’re going to hurt our reputation and never recover.” My Dad’s fear was valid. The longer you take to release something, the more opportunity you have to lose that opportunity. But, the risk to move forward with our developer was too great. So, we split ways and started looking for funding. Our last conversation with the developer was pretty brutal. He sent an email to me and my Dad because he hadn’t heard from us in a few weeks and that was unusual. The irony that he was reaching out to us, for the first time, at the end of everything, isn’t lost on me. And my Dad being the honorable and incredibly nice guy he is, thought we should at least talk to him and tell him where we were. It didn’t go well and got pretty heated with me being pissed at the progress of the software and the failed onboarding of our first customer, and him playing the blame game and pointing fingers. Ultimately, he refused to give us the software, the domain, or anything that we’d worked on over the past 3 years. For what it’s worth, on top of the total shitshow that our dev cycle was, our developer was going through a divorce, so I’m sure that added to his woes and created issues that wouldn’t have otherwise existed. When it was all-said-and-done I think we were out $15k-$20k over a couple of years, which isn’t all that bad considering. And we also had a really good idea of what we needed to build, since we'd iterated like 3 times. We’d built a couple of mobile apps based on user feedback and they were really good prototypes. We’d also attended a couple of big industry meetings in 2013/2014 to get a feel for demand and there was definitely a growing need for what we wanted to build. PART 2.1In December 2015 we raised $70,000 from friends and family. We got $50,000 from one of my Dad’s friends in the industry and $20,000 from my uncle. I realize that a lot of this stuff, like fundraising for instance, I just kind of blow over like it isn’t a big deal, which I guess it kind of is. So, feel free to ask questions in the comments and I’ll try to get to them. For some background on how we got funded, it's pretty simple. My Dad was talking to his buddy about the app, who’d previously seen the prototype and mentioned we needed money. He made an offer for $50k right there. I recently asked him why he did it and he said, "Ya know. I've been in this industry for a long time and I know something special when I see it. I'm not getting any younger and my son's gonna need something to work on and I think this could be it." Not a standard response, I know. For the other $20k we set up a meeting with my uncle and told him we probably needed another $50k. He ended up giving us the twenty, so we made it work. Having learned a few lessons from our previous experience, I went ahead and redesigned the software up front, so that we’d have something to give our new developer when we found him. I spent about 3 months working with a buddy on our previous software to turn it into something better. The biggest challenge was that I didn’t have anything to use as a base, because our previous developer refused to hand over the software, kept the domain, and was obviously super uncooperative. So, we had to use our previous designs and make assumptions about how the minute details worked. I own a small software design/dev company as my main gig and have a lot of relationships with folks in the industry, some who are pretty well known (which was my main context for knowing our original developer was a baddy) and started reaching out to them to see if they knew any Ruby developers that they’d recommend (I liked Ruby because of its ability to scale). I eventually got connected to a guy I’ll refer to as The Unicorn and he was interested in working with us, since he’d just finished a project. There’s generally three things that come into play when a project works out: - Timing - Is it the right time for the market? Is it the right time for the people involved? Am I busy with too much other stuff? - Belief - Does the industry believe in my product? Do I believe in my product? Do the people working on the product believe in the product (generally because the industry believe in it)? - Budget - Do I have the money to do this? Can I get the money to do this? Is there money out there to do this? He committed to work for a couple days a week at $150/hr and figured he’d have our app up and running in about 6 months, which he did and it was. So, by June of 2016, we finally had a functional MVP with an infinitely better UI/UX (I’d made the decision not to hire a front end dev to save money, but since then we’ve released a new version of the site that has a front ender's touch on it, which I will always do in the future). It was a pretty cool feeling to see it working and to have it be a relatively painless process to get it there. I kind of felt like what I’d imagine a victim of domestic violence feels like when they find Prince Charming. Can things really go this easily? Is this real life? WTF? Considering how hard the past couple of years had been, it was a welcome surprise. The Unicorn did a bangup job and there was really only one occasion where scope-creep became an issue and we had to have a come-to-Jesus moment about communicating scope and work. In July of 2016 we got a booth at an industry trade show for our sale’s maiden voyage. We got a ton of looks and probably left with about 10-15 good leads. I was pumped! And as we were walking out the door at the end of the two-day conference, a congressman came up to my Dad and said that his company might be interested in taking a look at what we had and wanted to setup a meeting. After weeks of post-trade show back-and-forth, we set a meeting for December 2016. Nothing really got done between July 2016 and the meeting date, because at that point we were out of money and none of the leads from the conference had panned out. And with no money in the bank and no customers to get feedback from, we just sat and waited. It sucked. PART 2.2Actually, I take that back, we didn’t work on the software, but other stuff did happen. After seeing the feedback and buzz the software generated at the conference, The Unicorn got interested in getting vested with the company. He’d obviously proven his ability to get shit done, so my Dad wanted to have a conversation with him regarding vestment and what it would take to get him on board. We eventually reached the agreement that he would work at half his hourly rate ($75/hr) and use the other half to generate equity and become vested after 2 years, so 5% equity at a $2,225,000 valuation. Around this same time that company I mentioned earlier in the prologue, who actually had plans to test our software with 15 of their crews, got acquired for like $9b, which ruined a great opportunity for us. They had a great culture and would’ve launched us into orbit, but it wasn’t meant to be. Womp womp! PART 2.3By the time December finally rolled around I was beside myself with anticipation. One full year had passed since we’d raised money to get this thing going and it was moving at an agonizingly slow pace (we hadn’t raised all that much capital after all, so we couldn’t just throw money at it). Money really does speed up the process. Without getting too deep into the weeds the meeting went really well. The company we met with is probably the most reputable in my state and is to our industry what Jordan’s are to sneakerheads. They loved what we had and it was a super encouraging meeting. They wanted us to come back again in February and present our software to their whole organization. They’re owned by some of their employees and wanted to get the nod from everyone involved. So, again nothing happens for another two months and we revisit the situation in February. This time the meeting went even better and their employees were even more pumped about the software than we’d thought they would be. We had a post-meeting-meeting with the owner to talk shop and the details. I told him it’d take us about six months and $107,000 (will probably end up taking $60k) to customize the software for their company, which didn’t seem to phase him. So, I wrote up a contract on the spot, which we both signed, shook hands, and walked out the door with a $17,000 check; payment 1 of 6. I had The Unicorn snap a pic of the two of us shaking hands. I’ll probably frame it and bottle the tears I’m going to shed every time I look at it. I actually could’ve walked out of there with nothing. After we shook on the deal he said, “Alright, well I guess we’ll just mail you the check.” And I asked, “Could we just get a check right now?” He smiled, shrugged, and then nodded in agreement and told his accounting to go print out a check. Leaving with that check made it feel 10x more real for me and The Unicorn. Asking that simple question taught me a huge lesson--You don’t get what you don’t ask for! As a side note, after The Unicorn came on board we attended most meetings together. This was less of a proactive decision and more the result of me making myself more involved in the design/dev stuff, because I was not going to repeat the past. My Dad spent more time getting us the leads to make the sales, and less time in the day-to-day, since he’s got 25 years in the biz. He’s our “gray hair” and if you’re young you need a gray hair. Otherwise, people don’t trust you as much or something? With renewed hope and excitement we immediately roared back into gear and got an iOS app designed (for data entry in the field) and developed, and started working on the MVP again. However, more bumps in the road presented themselves. After such positive meetings in December and February it kind of threw me off when the owner of the company completely stopped being responsive. We didn’t receive our next check in March and it took me being super pushy to get a second check by April. In May, after another no-show check, we pretty much stopped working again, because we weren’t sure where we stood or if we still had a deal. I even asked another business owner for advice on how to approach the matter. To make a long and drawn out story short. The owner of the company had been super preoccupied with other businesses he owns and had told the other employee-owners to take the reigns, but they didn’t, which left him on the hook and out of touch. It was an incredibly stressful time for me, since I wasn’t sure if his lack of response indicated some deeper discontent on his part. Ultimately, he was still excited about the software and in June of this year we secured the rest of the money, a $67,000 check, and plan to launch with 30 of their crews in January 2018. By this time a year had passed since our last state tradeshow and it was time to attend again. This time, with a real customer in our books, I had way more confidence and the conference felt a lot more fun than it had the year before. Another side note concerning sales. During the 2016 tradeshow I was super stressed out and hated it. I think it was partly due to the pressure of having unproven software and partly due to the fact that I don’t really like the idea of convincing people to buy something they know nothing about and might not even want. However, when you get your first customer, selling starts to feel a lot less like “selling” and a lot more like you’re providing people with something they need. It really comes down to your belief in what you’re doing. You should never try to convince a customer to buy if they don’t want to, because if you’re a genuine believer in your product, others will become believers too. After the first day of the conference, I ended up at the bar of our hotel with a couple other vendors who I’d befriended from previous events (one of the clients from my other company is in this industry, so I’d run into people here-and-there). The bar closed around 10:30PM and we were pretty much the last people in there and decided to call it a night to get ready for another early morning. The only other people in there were two dudes sitting at the bar and as soon as we got up to leave one of the bar-guys yelled, “You guys want a water moccasin shot?” We replied, “No, it’s getting late and I think we’re gonna go to bed.” Bar guys yells, “What are yall? A bunch of pussies”? We all look at each other half-laughing, and shrug, and walk over to the bar. We take the water moccasin shots and then some other kind of fruity pink shots. Apparently this dude has been tipping well, because the bartender was happy to keep the bar open. Somehow, because things started to blur, it comes up that I have some software for tracking stuff in the industry, so he starts describing an app he wants. And I’m shocked. No, I’m floored. He’s literally describing one of the first smartphone apps we built that got rejected by the industry, because it was too future forward (basically everyone we showed it to said it wouldn’t work because reasons). I laughed and said, “Dude! I built that two years ago and no one wanted it, so we had to build something different.” He slapped his knee and said, “Well I want it! How much can I get it for?” I pitched him my starting price and he immediately countered at half, which is what I actually wanted, and responded, “Deal!” We shook hands and he proceeded to tell us the most ridiculous and hilarious stories I’ve ever heard in my life. It was actually a really fun night. I walked back into the hotel room around 1AM and woke my Dad up carrying on about the deal we’d just struck up. He had been asleep, but woke up laughing because I was being ridiculous, due to the excitement (shots). He was happy to be woken up too, considering the context, and excited about another potential customer. The sales cycle on this deal was exponentially shorter than the first and we launched with them on September 15th, two months after we first met. They fronted us $40,000 to get additional iOS functionality developed, and will use/pay for our standard system until March/April 2018 when I think we can get the app done. So, after nearly 5 years of failing at this, within two months we did $147,000 in sales and if nothing changes (even if we don’t add a single customer) we’ll do a little over $350,000 in sales next year. Given, these sales are more like cash advances, but it’s still cash-in-hand. Also, we’re currently in talks with another company that wants to test it with one of their crews, and if they buy in, it would push our sales to over $1,000,000 next year. In my business plan, I’d assumed we’d need at least 50 companies in our system to hit that number in sales, but we could potentially do with 3 and within the first year of actual sales.