Tumgik
#i refuse to put myself through the emotional trauma that nicole put me through again. i REFUSE. so if i suddenly deactivate this is why.
jimines · 2 years
Text
.
#this is just a little vent/update on some stupid shit going on on here regarding someone i won’t name#but i need to talk about it and vent bc im so frustrated at this whole thing#so i cut a friend off recently.. told them in a *very* heated message how i felt about all the terrible shit they'd said and done recently#and demanded they do not try to contact me anymore and blocked them immediately after#no surprise 5mins later i got two anons from them in my inbox trying to start a fight however i blocked the IP after those two#i even went so far as to disable my webpage for a few days to try and deter them both from sending anons and from stalking my page#and i shouldnt have had to unblock them to tell them for the second time to leave me alone and to stop trying to start things with me#because the last time we argued it was six weeks of emotional damage that i am still really messed up from#after all this it was radio silence - or so i thought#because i've received word now twice that this person has been saying untrue things to friends of friends#trying to start drama and rumours all because i cut them off and they didn't get that fight and that last word they so desperately need ?#i just…why? why why why? why does everything have to become a drama? this is why narcissists scare me..#it took me over a year to realize thats what they are and that id been manipulated so fucking bad.. which is nothing short of embarassing#the way this anxiety has been weighing on my chest lately and dulling my time here is something that shouldnt be happening#im so so tired of all of it.. the drama and the fights and the rumours.. i physically cannot go through this kind of thing again#idk if anyone is reading this but im sorry for being so absent and unresponsive and (often times) really negative on my blog#its just so hard to be happy and positive and excited when this potential drama is looming over me day after day ya know?#im trying to push through and be here because i genuinely WANT to be here but its so fucking exhausting sometimes im constantly paranoid#i pray things will come to a rest and nothing will explode bc mentally i cannot take it anymore and i wont be sticking around in that case#i refuse to put myself through the emotional trauma that nicole put me through again. i REFUSE. so if i suddenly deactivate this is why.#but i wont be going down alone thats for sure#c.text
9 notes · View notes