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#i refuse to put myself through the emotional trauma that nicole put me through again. i REFUSE. so if i suddenly deactivate this is why.
jimines
·
2 years
Text
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#this is just a little vent/update on some stupid shit going on on here regarding someone i won’t name
#but i need to talk about it and vent bc im so frustrated at this whole thing
#so i cut a friend off recently.. told them in a *very* heated message how i felt about all the terrible shit they'd said and done recently
#and demanded they do not try to contact me anymore and blocked them immediately after
#no surprise 5mins later i got two anons from them in my inbox trying to start a fight however i blocked the IP after those two
#i even went so far as to disable my webpage for a few days to try and deter them both from sending anons and from stalking my page
#and i shouldnt have had to unblock them to tell them for the second time to leave me alone and to stop trying to start things with me
#because the last time we argued it was six weeks of emotional damage that i am still really messed up from
#after all this it was radio silence - or so i thought
#because i've received word now twice that this person has been saying untrue things to friends of friends
#trying to start drama and rumours all because i cut them off and they didn't get that fight and that last word they so desperately need ?
#i just…why? why why why? why does everything have to become a drama? this is why narcissists scare me..
#it took me over a year to realize thats what they are and that id been manipulated so fucking bad.. which is nothing short of embarassing
#the way this anxiety has been weighing on my chest lately and dulling my time here is something that shouldnt be happening
#im so so tired of all of it.. the drama and the fights and the rumours.. i physically cannot go through this kind of thing again
#idk if anyone is reading this but im sorry for being so absent and unresponsive and (often times) really negative on my blog
#its just so hard to be happy and positive and excited when this potential drama is looming over me day after day ya know?
#im trying to push through and be here because i genuinely WANT to be here but its so fucking exhausting sometimes im constantly paranoid
#i pray things will come to a rest and nothing will explode bc mentally i cannot take it anymore and i wont be sticking around in that case
#i refuse to put myself through the emotional trauma that nicole put me through again. i REFUSE. so if i suddenly deactivate this is why.
#but i wont be going down alone thats for sure
#c.text
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