#i reread the entire first book to rekindle my anger against this man

[sentient-stove]

My Personal Beef with Chiron: An essay because I AM that bitch.

@theultimateyeeter @falling-oceans @reallydelicate-cycle  you three showed interest in this essay via contacting me or other ways, so this is for you.

To say that I have a deep hatred for Chiron is to undersell my point.  When I was thirteen, my mother gifted me a Kindle and asked what books I wanted on it, I said “Greek Myths”  because that’s what I thought Percy Jackson was called at the time.

I got the actual mythos. (even though she literally was reading the lost hero at that time and knew what i meant by greek myths. she was a bit of a bitch, but you know, it be that way.)  You know the ones, with Jason and the Argonauts, Demeter wandering the earth with Misery while in search for her daughter who had been captured by Hades, or perhaps the original Perseus, who used Medusa’s head to kill a fearsome sea creature and take Andromeda for his wife.

When I was reading this, I was introduced to Chiron, a mighty centaur who taught the heroes from the time that they were babies to adulthood, training them in everything from swordsmanship to healing.

So this is the teacher that I was expecting when I picked up my first ever copy of Percy Jackson. (In Italian I might add, we were living in Milano at the time, so I read Harry Potter and Percy Jackson in my second language before my parent tongue, but go off me.)

This was not who I got.  I got a sorry excuse of a teacher who sent literal children to die.  I got a centaur who withheld important information about demigods, which often led to serious injury.

I don’t believe that Chiron didn’t know who Percy’s father was.  He should have known the second he lay eyes on him.  The Chiron from the myths was able to tell who a demigod’s parents were from a single glance.  AND that was from over 2500 years ago.  Why wouldn’t he have more experience now?  And even if he couldn’t figure it out immanently, shouldn’t have been pretty fucking clear after Percy literally manipulated water to drag Nancy Bobofit into a fountain?  Or the fact that he gave Percy a sword that was traditionally held by a child of the big three?

And that’s not where it ends.  Chiron mentions that he practically raised Luke at camp, he of all people should have seen Luke’s betrayal from a mile away.  You cannot convince me that he doesn’t suffer from albus dumbledore syndrome, it’s practically his main affliction.   He has important information and then refuses to share it.

LIKE HIS OWN PARENTAGE.  How did not one fucking person at camp realize that his dad was Kronos?  Because he didn’t tell them and apparently he only teaches the old myths when he’s not at camp, because if you picked up a single book at camp that was the original myths, you could have found that out.  For all his preaching about needing to know modern myths, he sure isn’t great at making sure that people know.

He also refuses to give any information about the final prophecy because ‘it’s not time.’

Bullshit.  The Chiron I know would have given names and numbers for people to analyze.  He was first and foremost a teacher, destiny be damned.

Or like how easy he is to defeat in combat.  Would you want that training your kid as a mortal parent?  A centaur who’s leg got crushed because he somehow didn’t realize that an entire building was about to come down on him?  Like in the myths, Chiron was the demigod’s teacher because of his prowess in battle.

He’s pathetic and I think that he should put down his fucking pinochle game with Dionysus,  get out there and actually start teaching again.  Chiron ought to use his experience to prevent demigods from those untimely deaths that he so mourns, not help enable them.

Not to mention, the Chiron of myth sent out ADULTS on quests, ONCE he was done teaching them everything he knew.  This Chiron doesn’t tell Percy he’s a demigod until a fucking Minotaur is on his heels (even then it’s Grover who tells him)  and then he sends him on a quest with no training whatsoever. 

What the hell dude.  What the hell.  You’re not teacher, you’re a washed up mentor who needs to actually get off his horse ass and do some teaching.

stars above and seas below, I hate him so much, I could probably keep ranting, like how he clearly knew who Jason was and didn’t tell anyone, or like how he knew that the Argo 2 was bound to fail in preventing Gaia’s awakening (long story)  

If he had literally taught just a bit of the original myths to the kids he was ‘training’ they probably would have had better success rates and survival stories.

man, now im just upset even more.