#i shant say how long it took me to fucking type this

[mothbaaalls]

experimenting with using my non dominant hand for things today and i have discovered a few things:

1/ i cannot crack an egg with 1 hand (ppl who can do this are very powerful)

2/ i have a tremor in my left hand apparently that i dont really notice much bc i don't use it (typing on my phone with my left hand is so hard right now)

3/ the chronic pain in my left wrist from almost breaking it didn't actually go away i just stopped noticing it as much and my range of motion with the fingers on that hand is actually slightly limited

4/ FUCKING. SCISSORS. LEFT HANDED PEOPLE IM SO SORRY

[troublemakerfiction]

02.

Imani Diamond

“Darnell why are we here?” I asked my cousin when we pulled up in front of Vick’s tattoo shop. We just spent the whole damn afternoon shopping for my school clothes and the last thing I wanted to do was sit in here with a lot of people. I would rather just go home and go to sleep.

“Vick owes me some money so I need to pick it up then I’ll drop you off at home. Imani why are you always making a big deal out of going places? You need to socialize more.”

“No I don’t, people are nothing but trouble. At least when I’m at home I know nothing is going to happen.”

“Nothing is going to happen outside of home either because I got you. I also want to know why you complain so much but don’t drive your own damn car.”

“I don’t have my license, I failed the test remember.” I mumbled getting aggravated. I’ve taken my driving test four times and I failed every single time and the shit is frustrating. Ask me anything that has to do with math, geography, science or anything else scholastic and I got you but you put me behind the wheel of a car and I clam up.

“I thought Uncle Nasir was teaching you how to drive?”

“He tries but he sucks at it,” My dad has very little patience and anytime I try to get him to teach me how to drive all he does is yell and I can’t handle that too much.

“Ask Vick, I would teach you but I already know I don’t have patience to do that. Come on,” We got out of the car and walked inside of Diamondz Ink. Of course it was pretty much packed like it always is, that never changes.

“Aye Dime,” Darnell called out to the receptionist they hired to work here. “My brother back there?”

“Yeah he’s with a client I’ll tell him you’re out here.”

“Thanks boo,” Darnell smiled at her then we both sat down in the free seats they did have. I pulled my Nook out so I could read a book when Darnell nudged me.

“What?” I looked at her confused.

“Your little boo thing is over there,” She motioned towards the front desk where Kason was standing there talking to some girl.

“That’s not my boo, stop it.” I shook my head.

“Okay Mani, lie if you want to but I already know you like the little nigga. Maybe he could teach you how to drive.”

“Yeah right,”

“What? You think he won’t say yes?”

“I’m not saying whether he will or won’t because I’m not asking him.”

“Fine then I’ll do it, aye Kason!” Darnell shouted his name and I hit her arm.

“Stop, don’t do that D!”

“Do what? I didn’t do anything,” She laughed at me but I really didn’t find anything funny.

“What’s up D?” Kason said when he came over to where we were. “What’s good Mani?”

“Hey,” I mumbled. I did my best to not even look at Kason in his face with the fear that I would just start staring at him like a creep.

“Well Imani here can’t drive and none of us has the patience to show her how so I was thinking maybe you could.” Darnell said to him. I wanted to slap her so bad for doing this to me.

“Oh that’s nothing I can show you how to drive if you want me to Imani.” He said to me and I looked at him with my eyebrow raised.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’ll hit you up and let you know when I’m available and if you’re good with it I’ll come get you.”

“Alright that’s fine.”

“Cool, give me your number.” He gave me his phone and I stored my number in it then gave it back to him. He called my phone so I would have his then smiled and walked off.

“Darnell I hate you,” I told her after hitting her arm again when he left.

“No you love me; you’ve been crushing on that boy for the past year. Stop being scary and get you a boyfriend.”

“Oh please, nobody wants to be my boyfriend.”

“Your bitch ass mother did some type of mental damage to you baby girl. Have you taken a good look at yourself lately? You’re gorgeous and you’re smart. How many chicks you know out here going to school to be a pediatrician? None I know, especially when they come from a family with money. Now and days these girls your age don’t wanna do shit but lay-up and hop on a rich niggas dick. You’re going to make something out of your life, don’t ever think you’re not good enough for anything. Alright?”

Instead of saying anything I just nodded my head and sat back in the chair registering everything Darnell said. She was right; my mother did a lot of emotional and mental damage to me. She made me feel like nothing for so long and if her plan was to make me feel like I wasn’t worth anything she did a great job at executing it.

Tonya, the woman that gave birth to me and was supposed to protect and take care of me basically became somebody I wanted to avoid at all times at this point in my life. She’s been an evil bitch to me since I was little. I used to think I was the problem until I figured out what it really was.

Tonya was basically my father’s side chick, she was fuckin’ with him knowing he was married to my step mother Shante and she didn’t care. Like most side bitches she thought getting pregnant and having a baby with him would make him be with her but that wasn’t the case. My father took really great care of me, and Shante loved me like I was her own daughter but he wasn’t trying to take it there with Tonya because he knows she fucked around and got pregnant with me on purpose. Plus he didn’t want to lose his wife over her so he ended it.

Once my father cut her off and wasn’t dealing with her anymore and it became all about me some type of hatred for me grew in her and she started treating me like I was just some random chick off the street. She’s tried to and succeeded in fighting me multiple times, and she would verbally assault me all day every day.

My father didn’t know anything about what she was doing until I was 15, and he only found out because one night when she tried to fight me a neighbor got sick of it and finally called the cops. CPS reached out to my dad about the physical and emotional abuse I was going through and I was sent to live with him and Shante. That whole situation just made my mother hate me even more, so much that she purposely tries to bother me whenever she sees me anywhere.

One time when she tried it Darnell ended up fighting her ass and gave her a buck fifty across her face, now she was scarred for life. You would think that would stop her from acting like she does but it didn’t. She still comes for me until Millz or Darnell steps up then she backs down. I’m emotionally and physically weak because of my mother and the scars she left with me. I will probably hate her until the day I die.

***

Walking in the living room of my father’s house I smiled when I saw him and Shante sitting on the couch watching TV all cuddled up like two teenagers. “Y’all look real comfortable.” I said loud enough to get their attention.

“Hey baby girl, you had fun with Darnell?” My dad asked.

“Yeah it was alright I guess. Darnell just takes too long. I was done in an hour but we spent four more hours in the mall because of her.”

“Well you know how she is,” Shante laughed. “You could’ve gone by yourself if you knew how to drive.”

“I know I’ll be learning soon. Kason is going to teach me.” As soon as I said that my dad looked at me with his eyebrow raised at me. Here we go.

“Who’s teaching you what?’

“Kason is going to teach her how to drive, I know you heard her.” Shante checked him then looked at me. “That’s good Imani; do me a favor. Can you go get my glasses from upstairs for me please?”

“Sure,” I went right upstairs grateful that she basically saved my ass from my father being all up in my business.

My dad was the definition of over protective. I mean technically everybody was over protective of me but he and Haze took it to a whole other level with how they acted when it comes to me. My dad is the worse though; he has to know who I’m around, where I’m going, and how long I’m going to be there. Don’t even bring boys up in the equation. Dating is something he doesn’t ever want to hear about me doing, and I don’t talk to boys anyway so I guess it doesn’t even matter.

When I got in my room I sat on my bed before pulling my phone out of my pocket. I was about to scroll through Instagram when a text from an unknown number popped up. Instead of texting it back I just called it and put it on speaker.

“What’s good Mani?” Kason’s voice instantly put a smile on my face when he answered the phone. I should’ve known it was him.

“Hey Kason; how are you?”

“I’m aight, just chillin. So when do you want to get these driving lessons started?”

“I don’t know, when is good for you?”

“I’m not doing shit tomorrow so I can come get you if you want me to.”

“Umm, sure that’s fine. Are you sure you don’t mind teaching me how to drive?”

“Nah, but I might have to ask your pops if I can use one of his old cars to teach you because I don’t need you crashing mine. I heard about you being behind the wheel.”

“I’m not that bad,”

“Yeah that’s what you say but the DMV thinks different. It’s cool though, a couple of lessons from me and I’ll have you driving like a pro.”

“You sound very confident.”

“That’s because I am baby girl.” I could hear the smile in his voice, God this boy. “Well I gotta go handle some shit my big head ass cousin bothering me and shit. I’ll hit you up tomorrow, store my number ma.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

“Good night beautiful,” When he hung up I just sat there staring at my phone in shock. I could barely get the grin off my face before Shante came walking in my bedroom with a huge smile on her face.

“Beautiful huh? Sounds like you’re not the only one crushing.” She said while taking a seat on my bed.

“He doesn’t have a crush on me, he was just being nice.” I waved her off, I wasn’t even about to get my hopes about Kason up.

“Oh please I see the way that boy stares at you when he’s around. Your father does too which is why he was so shocked when you said he was teaching you to drive.”

“Kason doesn’t like me, I’m not his type.”

“What’s his type?”

“I know I’m not it. I mean I know I’m pretty b-“

“Beautiful, you’re beautiful. Hell you’re down right gorgeous, never downplay your beauty.”

“Alright but I’m still not his type, he’s into more fun girls. I’m not that, all I do is stay in the house and study. The only time I go out is if I’m with you guys or one of my cousins.”

“Exactly, this is why you need friends. You need to go out there and live your life. You’re 18 years old baby girl.”

“I know but I don’t even know where to start.”

“I do, you’re moving into the dorms when you start at Saint Peters.”

“What? My dad said he wants me to stay here.”

“I know what he said and it makes no sense. What are you going to do? Get driven an hour to school every day? No, you’re living in the dorms I filled out the paperwork for you. I want you to have the full college experience alright?”

“Alright, did you tell my dad?”

“Yeah, who do you think wrote the check?” She smiled then kissed my cheek. “You’re adult life is about to begin baby girl and I want you to fully enjoy it. You’re going to be on your own in the dorms. Of course we got you financially but everything else will be on you. Cool?”

“Yeah I guess,” I shrugged. I really wasn’t looking forward to being in the dorms but I guess Shante is right. I can’t be scared Imani forever, I have to go out there and live my life. Maybe it really is time for a change.

Kason “Kay” Garnett

“Are you leaving?” Alexis asked me while I got dressed in the middle of her bedroom. I looked at her chuckling; she does this shit every single time I get ready to go.

“Yeah I’m out I got some shit to do.”

“Kay, when are we going to be more than this?”

“What are you talking about?”

“This, you come over here, fuck me then leave right afterwards.”

“Alright and you already knew what it was when you met me Lex. What do you want from me?” I hate when she does this clingy bullshit.

Alexis is somebody I met last year. She’s six years older than me and fine as fuck but she’s getting too clingy for me. When we first started fucking around she was cool with me coming in and dippin’ right after. Now she’s acting like I’m supposed to be in this bitch cuddled up with her or something. Shorty really got me fucked up if she thinks that’s happening.

“Alright but it’s been a year, you’re telling me you haven’t caught feelings or anything?”

“Nope, I don’t catch feelings. Why are you asking me that shit like you’re not married to a whole other nigga?”

“Oh please, that’s just by convenience. I want to be with you.”

“Well I don’t want to be with you, so you might as well drop that shit.”

“Wow,”

“Wow what? You’re really starting to bug me. You think I’m about to wife up a bitch that can’t even be faithful to her husband? Keep this shit going and I’m going to fall all the way back.”

“Really Kay? Stop throwing that shit in my face, you knew I was married when I met you.”

“Exactly which is why I keep you as a fuck buddy but you’re not even doing that right with this I wanna be with you shit.” I shook my head then grabbed my car keys off the hotel night stand. “I’m out,” Without saying anything else to her I just walked out the hotel room she got for us.

I already knew I was going to have to distance myself from Alexis because she’s getting attached and that shit is a big no for me. The fuck I look like wifing up a bitch who’s cheating on the nigga that takes care of her. The nigga she’s married to gives her any and everything she wants and she still fucks me multiple days out the week; that’s not wife material. Shit, that’s not even girlfriend material; she’s a head God though.

After getting to my car I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Imani who picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

“Are you ready for your lesson?”

“Yeah right now is fine I guess.”

“Alright well it’ll be like an hour or so before I get there so be ready.”

“Okay I’ll see you when you get here. Thank you Kason, for real. I really appreciate it.”

“No problem baby girl, I’ll see you in a minute.” I ended the call then pulled off making my way to Nasir’s house.

While I was on the way to his house my phone started ringing. I wanted to ignore it but it was my cousin so I couldn’t. “Yo what’s good?”

“Where are you at?” Trouble asked me.

“Just left the hotel with Lex annoying ass, I’m about to go pick Imani up.”

“You’re picking Imani up? Why?”

“She can’t drive so Darnell asked me to teach her, the rest of them have no patience.”

“Nas know you picking his daughter up?”

“I don’t know but he’s about to find out when I knock on the door.” I laughed.

“You better hope he doesn’t shoot your ass, you know he doesn’t play when it comes to Mani.”

“I know but shit, the girl is 18 it aint like she a baby.”

“Oh she’s a baby alright, I can promise you she aint fuckin’ nobody so she a damn baby. Don’t play with her man.”

“What do you mean?”

“Nigga I know you and I know you low-key feelin’ her just like her little ass has a crush on you. I peeped that shit a long time ago. Don’t play with her; you know she’s sensitive as hell.”

“I know that, and I’m not going to play with her. I’m just giving her some driving lessons.”

“Yeah aight, well you just make sure the only thing she rides is the damn car.”

“Man get the fuck outta here,” I laughed at him, this nigga is a clown. “What are you calling me for anyway?”

“Just checkin’ in, I’ll hit you later though. I think we’re going to Lust tonight.”

“Aight, I got you.” When he ended the call I couldn’t help but laugh at the stupid shit that came out of his mouth.

I can’t even lie though; I do have a little thing for Imani. Who wouldn’t? She’s literally one of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen, she’s smart, and she’s not out here thottin’ and boppin’ like the rest of these little bitches. I need somebody like her on my team; she could keep me on the straight and narrow when I’m not with my cousin handling this money shit.

When I finally got to Nasir’s house after driving damn near an hour I went up to the door and rang the bell. A couple of seconds went by before the door finally opened revealing Nasir standing there with a cigar in his mouth as always.

“What’s good OG?”

“What’s up, what are you doing here?”

“I told Imani would teach her how to drive since everybody in your family seems to have patience problems.” He looked at me sideways before moving back so I could come in.

“Yo, I’ve known you since you were a kid aight. Make sure driving is the only thing you do with my daughter.”

“I hear you man.”

“I’m glad you do. Imani! Let’s go!”

“I’m coming!” She shouted.

A couple of minutes later she came downstairs with a smile on her face. It took everything in me to not look her up and down like a creep. Her body was on point in the jeans and white fitted t-shirt she was wearing. Nasir is lucky I respect him, plus I don’t want my head knocked off and he’s liable to do that shit.

“Hi Kason.” She smiled at me.

“What’s up, you ready?”

“Yeah let’s go. I’ll see you later daddy.” She kissed his cheek then ran out the door.

“Remember what I said.” Nas told me. I nodded then walked out the door.

“Your pops really doesn’t play when it comes to you.” I told Imani when I walked over to her.

“Yeah he’s always been that way. So where are we going?”

“I saw an empty parking lot when I was coming over here so we’re about to head over there.” We got in my car and I turned the radio on before pulling out of his driveway and speeding down the street. “So why can’t you drive?”

“I don’t know, I passed the permit test with no problem but being behind the wheel makes me nervous. I can’t get the hang of it too much.”

“Well we’re about to change that because I’m not taking you back home until you know what you’re doing. You might as well sit back and relax because you’re not getting back in the house for a good minute.”

“That’s fine; I need to learn how to drive for when I start school. I got three weeks to get my shit together.”

“What are you going to school for again?”

“My major is Biology so once I graduate the plan is medical school.”

“You want to be a doctor?”

“Yeah, I want to be a pediatrician.” She smiled. “I know once I start school my social life is going to shrink to being way less active than it is now. That’s the only thing I’m not looking forward to.”

“You living on campus or are you staying here?”

“In the dorms, Shante convinced my father to let me. She says I need the full college experience. I’m a little nervous though.”

“Why?”

“Living with a bunch of people I don’t know doesn’t sound to fun to me. I don’t know I guess I’m just used to having my dad right there.”

“Well we all gotta grow up at some point.”

When we got to the empty parking lot we switched seats and started the lesson. After about thirty minutes of her fucking up over and over again I could see why her family gave up on teaching her. Not only was she over thinking everything, she was nervous as shit.

Shorty actually almost cried because she kept messing up. We spent three hours in the parking lot before she finally even understood how to drive straight and turn correctly without overthinking everything and losing control of the wheel.

“You have to stop being so scared. You didn’t do that bad when you weren’t over thinking it. It’s just a car.”

“Yes, but crashing it could mean killing myself or somebody else.”

“You’re not going to kill yourself, just take your time and get it together. At least I know you can actually drive. It wasn’t bad right?”

“No, I just need more practice. I am in no way shape or form ready to actually drive somewhere though.”

“A few days with me and you’ll be a pro don’t worry about it.”

“I hope that’s right, I have a Mercedes truck just sitting in my dad’s garage untouched. He bought it for me when I graduated.”

“Oh shit, we really gotta get you driving then.”

“I know, he won’t let me touch it until I get my license.”

“I don’t blame him but you’ll have it in no time. Are you hungry?”

���Um, yeah I guess.”

“Aight, I got you. You ready to go back home or you chillin with me today?”

“Ch-chillin with you?” She stammered making a chuckle leave my lips.

“Yeah, I’m heading out of here though. I’ll bring you back; you’re cool with that right?”

“Oh um…yeah that’s fine.”

“Let’s go then,” Instead of staying around here I decided to take her somewhere else. Sure driving back an hour to Nasir’s house would be annoying but I don’t even mind it right now.

I thought about it for a minute and decided to take her to this spot called Brownstone in Jersey City. We ordered our food and something to drink then I looked at Imani while she went through her phone. When she finally put it in her pocket and looked at me I smirked at her.

“Are you done telling your cousins you’re here with me?” I asked and I could tell by the look on her face the question caught her off guard but I was right too.

“Huh?”

“I know you told them you were here with me. It’s cool, I get it. My cousin knows I’m here too.”

“Trouble knows?”

“Yeah he called me when I was on my way to pick you up.”

“What made you want to come here?”

“I live around here?”

“Where?”

“My apartment is on Grove Street.”

“The only apartments on Grove Street are those new luxury ones. You live in one of those?”

“Yeah, I got in one as soon as they finished them.”

“Wow, I would love to see it I know it’s nice.”

“I got you.” I smirked licking my lips. She blushed and looked down at her hands. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me something about you; like why is your mother so scared of Darnell?”

“Oh,” She sighed. “A couple of months ago we were in Newport Mall and she popped up on me trying to fight. Darnell was with me and of course they got into it. Darnell ended up slicing her, now she has a buck 50 across her face. I don’t even know why she tried to fight Darnell like she didn’t know what the outcome would be.”

“Yeah D is a live one. I heard some stuff about your mother.”

“Stuff like what?”

“Stuff like she’s an evil bitch.”

“That’s true, she hates me.”

“You really think that?”

“I know that, she’s said it multiple times. Tonya has problems; she hates me because my father doesn’t.”

“What do you mean?”

“My father ended up cutting her off completely after she had me. I guess she thought I was going to the answer to her problems. Like he was going to leave Shante and come be with her but that didn’t happen. He left her alone but still took care of me.”

“So she’s jealous of you basically?”

“I guess so, she used to try and tell me my father didn’t want me. That he only loved Haze because he came from Shante but my dad always proved that to be wrong.”

“Damn that’s heavy. Sounds a little bit like my mother.”

“Really?”                              

“Yeah, I mean she never hit me herself. She let her dumb ass boyfriend do that enough. All she cared about was drinking and drugs, she didn’t give a shit about me.”

My mother is pretty much nonexistent in my life at this point. I haven’t seen her in years and I really don’t care to. As far as I’m concerned she checked out of being my mother when she let the pussy ass nigga she was dating beat my ass like I was his kid. I would go to school dirty as hell, barely had enough to eat because they smoked up everything. One of my teachers kept noticing the bruises and whatever else so she reported my mother to CPS. Instead of putting me in the system she got in touch with my aunt so I went to live with Trouble and his mother.

“I know how that is, my mother is a dip head. When she goes they won’t even have to embalm her body she has enough of that in her right now.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand how people have kids and treat them like shit. Thank God I have my father and my family. I don’t know where I would be or what that bitch would have me doing.”

“Your family is dope, mine is too for the most part. I don’t talk to my mom but I’m close as hell to Trouble’s mother. She took me from that bitch when I was 13 and I’m grateful for that. Why the fuck do I need to box in my own fuckin’ house every night? I was a damn kid; supposed to be focused on school and chasing girls.”

“What about your father?” I looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Dead. He died when I was 10. Before that everything was cool. My mother was actually a parent but when he passed she just flipped the script. Got depressed and shit and just said fuck me, it was all about her high.”

“I’m sorry,”

“You good Imani, it aint even on you so don’t worry about it.” We sat in silence until the waiter finally brought out our food.

“So what do you do now?” Imani finally asked after a couple of minutes of eating.

“Work for my cousin, you know how that goes.”

“Yeah,” She nodded. “What’s your end plan?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what are you going to do ten years from now? How do you want to finish in that life? You’re what 19? You only got a good 10 maybe 15 years left. What are you going to do? Be 40 years old still moving weight?”

“Damn, just come at me.”

“I’m sorry,” She laughed again. “I’m just saying, you can’t do that forever and even though death is a risk I know you don’t want this shit to kill you then prison is an issue too. I know my father is relieved knowing he doesn’t have to worry about that shit anymore.”

“I feel you and I’m thinking about it. I just don’t want to do the regular opening up a club shit. I was thinking about opening a couple of barbershops, some foot lockers or something. Shit that will be around for a good minute.”

“See that’s a good idea, be a business man. Are you going to school for business and marketing?”

“Nah, school isn’t really for me.”

“Why not?”

“Doing homework, writing papers and all that other mess is boring.”

“So you don’t want to go learn how to run multiple businesses and how to make legal money because homework is boring? Kason you can’t limit yourself like that, especially for a stupid reason.”

“Making money isn’t an issue, the shit I do now and what we’re talking about isn’t that different.”

“True but the way you speak and carry your self is. Everything is handled on paper in the business world so what good will be your skills if you can’t even read a contract and understand what it is. Sure you could get a lawyer but who’s to say they won’t fuck you out of your money too? You have to be on top of your own stuff Kay and going back to school can help you do that.”

Nodding my head I smiled at her. She knew what the fuck she was talking about, plus this is the most she’s ever talked around me. Shorty actually sounds like she’s comfortable and that’s exactly what I wanted.